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33 Netizens Share The Exact Moments When They Thought “No Way Am I Marrying This Person”
It seems that we hear stories about relationships ending nearly every day. Usually, people don’t make such life-altering decisions easily; there are events, dynamics, and many other things leading to it.
That’s what this Reddit thread is about – the reasons and ways people realized the person they were involved with wasn’t “the one” for them. The variety of shared stories creates quite an entertaining (and even eye-opening) list for us, so without further ado, let’s dive in, shall we?
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#1
When we got in a fight, he punched a hole in the closet door then went to the liquor store and took his anger out on the wrong person who proceeded to hit him over the back of the head with a bottle and give him a skull fracture. He was absolutely insufferable. Refused treatment by the ambulance, refused to let me take him to the ER, refused a second ambulance treatment. He had a splitting headache for days and finally he let me take him to the ER after like 6 days and he found out he had a skull fracture. When he got out, he needed 24/7 observation for 2 weeks and I had a job and a kid so I couldn’t do that. I called his mom who came and took him and when he came back, I had all of his stuff packed up in his van ready for him to move out. I did not play.
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#2
We were living together, super poor- one of our favourite bands came to town (Big Sugar). We talked about it but it wasn’t in the budget.
Friday night rolls around and he’s getting dressed to go out with the guys.
“Where are you off to?”
“Uh - Big Sugar.”
“What? We talked about this and decided we couldn’t afford to go!”
“Oh, *we* can’t … but *I* can.”.
#3
I don’t even remember what the argument was about anymore, but when he grabbed me by the throat in the car was the moment. There’s no going back from that or moving forward. Quietly made my exit plans, called off the engagement, and left. That was the first escalation and I don’t doubt that it would have increased over the years had I stayed.
Many people are afraid of asking others out, usually due to being afraid of rejection or simply nervousness. If they manage this fear and end up going on a date with someone they like, from time to time the dates turn into committed relationships.
Granted, there is no exact number of dates that “force” people into the said relationship. It all depends on the people involved – how much they like each other, how their communication is going, and whether they can even imagine themselves being serious about each other.
#4
We were at my parents house and got a good deal of snow overnight. In the morning I went out to help my mom shovel. He sat on our couch on his phone for almost 2 hours while my mom and I shoveled. He had winter clothes with him. We had extra shovels. I asked if he wanted to help and he just said no. It didn't itch at his conscience in the slightest to see me and my mom out the window working while he played angry birds.
I wasn't mad. It's not his house or his driveway. He was a guest. But I just knew in that moment our sense of care or duty or responsibility (or something along those lines) did not align and we had an expiration date.
#5
I found a text to his friend saying he saw no future with me. We had been together 4 years and he had recently convinced me to leave my high paying job to move to a small town for his career .
#6
The moment she walked out when I told her I had liver cancer. Her council of women told her she deserved better than a sick... F!?K
Went into remission she tried crawling back.
At first, these relationships can be basically perfect. In fact, there’s even the whole phenomenon called the honeymoon phase. During it, the relationship seems carefree and happy. People still seem fascinating and they can’t spend much time apart. Typically, this lasts from 6 months to 2 years.
Then, the bubble pops and the phase ends. A couple gets used to each other and the initial limerence evaporates. The relationship becomes a thing from their daily life, not a highlight of it. Sounds kind of sad, doesn’t it? Well, it doesn’t have to be.
#7
When she asked me to bring her home fries after work. So I stopped into McDonalds and got her two large fries. I came in with them. She proceeded to take the bag from me, open it up, pull out the fries and throw them in the trash right in front of me. I was pretty shocked and asked what was wrong, "I wanted frozen fries!" then asked why I even came over. This caused me to think really hard about things in the past and there were so many other incidents like this that I just brushed off. Then I realized no matter what I did she would resent and not be happy with me.
Learner Panda 2 weeks ago
What a strange reaction, given it was her fault she wasn't clear in asking for what she wanted.
#8
Her parents caught us mid-elopement in the backyard, just as her dog—draped in a scarf—was about to officiate. Fifty stuffed animals looked on as witnesses, their button eyes filled with silent judgment. Before we could seal the deal, her mom called out, “Hey, come inside, it’s time for lunch.” So, we abandoned our vows, switched gears, and spent the afternoon playing pirate and princess instead. We never went back to our wedding day after that. Guess the magic was one-time-only.
CF 1 week ago
Plot twist- they were in their early 40s and it was to be a second marriage for each.
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#9
"If you were a real man you would have hit me for flirting with him"
No, just no.
Well, for some it is, as they start wondering if the relationship isn’t as good as they thought. They might feel less in sync with their partner, might lose some intimacy, and things like that.
On the other hand, for others, the honeymoon phase ends when the “actual” relationship starts. They start to see each other for what kind of people they are day-to-day. Their flaws become more apparent too. Some couples find ways to incorporate (or work around) each other’s quirks into their lives, while for others it becomes something that destroys them.
#10
A friend told me:
"it's been a year that I hear you tell me the same stories about him, the same rants, the same complaints. I don't tire of you my friend, but don't you tire of repeating yourself? Will you be telling me the same words in 6 months, 6 years, 16 years?".
#11
When I poured my heart out to her, talking about the things that I was passionate about, and then she looked at me and said, "I'm bored", with a self-amused look on her face, like she thought she was being cute.
Janelle Collard 2 weeks ago
Good thing the red flags waved themselves all over this before they got too serious. :)
#12
We were talking about his night; he’d had a mate over to hang out.
Him: “ got pretty drunk.”
Me: “oh so is he crashing at yours tonight then?”
Him: “no, he drove home.”
Me: “wait, you let him drive home drunk?!”
Him: “I’m not on the road, what do I care?”
Me: … … …
I realised then that yeah this guy was hot af, but dead cold inside. Zero empathy.
He would’ve happily stayed with me permanently too. But 3 weeks after I ended our 3.5yr relationship, he was with another person. I quite literally meant nothing to him.
That brings us to today’s topic. On November 27, 2024, one Reddit user asked, “At what point did you realize she would never become your wife/he would never become your husband?” on r/AskReddit. And, oh boy, people had a lot to say.
Right now, a few days later, the thread has received nearly 7K replies. So, we decided to create a list of the most interesting ways people realized their partner wouldn’t be their future "one."
For some, it was just their intuition telling them it was not the right fit or their friends or family opening their eyes about it. For others, it was some event that ruined the relationship for good, like, sadly, domestic violence. Since we don't want to spoil it too much for you, check out the list yourself!
#13
I went for a minor medical procedure and my gut told me that listing him as my emergency contact wasn’t the right choice.
#14
She chose alcohol over me. She was in the hospital with liver failure from alcohol for the 3rd time. I packed my s**t & left. I’m Still alcohol free 423 days later.
#15
When i cried about him doing nothing for my birthday or valentines day and he ignored me and watched thirst traps on tiktok as i sobbed next to him in bed.
or when i asked him him why he was constantly lying to me and him replying "well there's no consequences, so...".
While breakups are usually a painful experience, sometimes they’re the best option out there. As Aldrin Nacu put it, "They're another face of love." Breakups can be a perfect opportunity for growth, self-discovery, and the beginning of a new chapter of life. Sometimes a person you're in a relationship with isn't the right fit for you and the end of it presents a chance to find someone who is.
This puts the stories in today's list in a whole different perspective – they're not sad endings of love, they are the beginnings of it. That sounds way more comforting, doesn't it?
#16
When I called her out on using lies to cover lies and instead of owning up/apologizing, she hit me in the head with a metal water bottle.
#17
When he admitted he'd caused someone to have a serious car accident on purpose because he didn't want to let them merge on a busy street. I stopped trusting him entirely.
#18
He told me he didn’t want me to go to a concert for a band we both liked because he was taking his new girlfriend and didn’t want there to be any issues. That is how I found out that we weren’t exclusive. Broke up straight away. About two years later we met randomly and he ended up crying about how unhappy he was with her, how much he missed me and how even though they lived together he slept on the couch. Yeah sure bud.
#19
Left town for two weeks for a trip through the wilderness. I missed her like crazy and thought about how great it will be to see her once I get back. As soon as I get back home I call her and the first thing she says is “oh wow, I didn’t think about you at all.” That really hurt, but was the wake-up call I needed for that terrible relationship.
Bec 2 weeks ago (edited)
Drove an hour to pick him up from the airport after he'd been away at his parents for a week. No hello, I've missed you, just immediate temper tantrum about airport security hurrying us along at the pick up. He was still ranting and raving while I was navigating out of the airport and I missed the exit, causing us to have to drive an extra 30 minutes in the snow out of the way.
#20
When I realized I was making excuses for his behavior instead of feeling proud to call him mine.
#21
When he lost his job and 2 years later I started to put a dot on the calendar whenever he went to the casino while I was at work. The fact that I felt the need to do it was telling enough, but then when faced with it he flat out denied how often he was going. He was going 3-4 times a week, and I found out later he was thousands of dollars in debt. I was outta there.
#22
He mocked the fact that my father walked out on us when I was 8.
#23
When he hyped up my birthday present for a month and it was a $12 pair of red framed sunglasses from Target. That’s it.
Also, when we were together for 7 years and he was asking me if he should make a “huge decision”. I thought he meant an engagement ring. This m**o was asking ME if he should cheat on *me* in subtext when he asked me if he should make this *huge* decision. Dude was E V I L.
#24
When my mother took her last breath in front of me I became very distraught to say the least. Among a lot of bad other things like losing my friend group, family being vultures over my mother’s estate, father pulling shady moves that I’m 99% sure he did to stress out my mom to make her die faster… etc. Poured it all out to my gf at the time and she told me I was too much to deal with.
I didn’t have to make the choice though because she up and cut herself out of my life. She decided to pull a full ghosting while I was busy struggling to set up all the after death particulars like the funeral.
#25
He was showing me pictures from his trip to Mexico (he goes 3 months a year for family) and scrolled past an album titled "mi amor". It wasn't of me. We had been together 6 years.
#26
When he proposed. I knew he didn't mean it when he asked, and I knew it didn't count when I said yes. We'd been together for six years, and I was telling him I was unhappy with the fact that things had stagnated. It was one of many talks like that, and I was crying. He knelt down and asked me to marry him. I felt like I had to say yes, so I did. But I knew in the moment it wasn't real. We cuddled for a few minutes before I said I didn't think he'd meant it. His response was, "Well, you kind of forced my hand."
The whole thing felt so gross and so unfair.
Nothing changed after that; we never talked about that moment again. I broke up with him a few months later.
#27
When his side of the conversation changed from “when we get married” to “when I get married”.
#28
I dated a woman who turned into a beast when she was hungry. It happened often. Right after eating she would be fine. She would say things like “wow I feel so much better now” etc. When I pointed out the correlation between being hangry and the difficulties it caused she refused to see it, refused the idea that hunger was what caused her to be so different. So I knew she was a complete moron and it would never work out.
Learner Panda 2 weeks ago
"Hangry" is a thing, but most adults / grown ups have figured it out by the time they leave school.
#29
When he said he was unsure about getting married to me and was telling me what I wanted to hear for almost 10 years.
#30
I realized (with the previous bf) that that person wouldn't become my husband when he wouldn't reciprocate my efforts nor consider my options too. Our goals were too different and we weren't compatible.
#31
When I took her to a movie that I had wanted to see for several years and the only thing she said after was, "We don't have a lot of things in common.".
#32
Small fights started to last longer and with less provocation. And she wasn't particularly eager to make up afterwards.
Basically, when she stopped trying.
#33
She just kept leaving town, I soon realised that it was building up to leaving permanently.
What do you think ?
Doctor Strange 2 weeks ago
For me, I'd say it was about the time she admitted she was deliberately trying to make me commit suicide.
Lyoness 2 weeks ago
I don't even know what to say about that except how sorry I am that that happened to you and how glad I am to know you aren't together any more.
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Wysteria_Rose 2 weeks ago
I dated him for five going on six years, but I had this "oh sh*t" moment when his grandmother referred to me as her future granddaughter-in-law. Suddenly, it hit me that getting married meant a lifetime of our relationship, and I did NOT want it. We had been stagnant, he could be downright cold and belittling while refusing therapy that I felt he needed. I ended it and he got so angry and said, "I haven't felt anything for you for years, I was still willing to go through with it." Proved my point.
Kathy 2 weeks ago
My first boyfriend said he wanted to marry me, but decided he would rape me as I didn't want to have sex with him. He didn't succeed as I managed to beat him up and leave him writhing in pain on the floor. Later he called me up saying he wanted to kill me. The upside of that incident, apart from being a wakeup call, was that it gave me the confidence to know I could defend myself. I wasn't in love with him and could see that he was not really a great guy, but he was the first guy who had ever been interested in me, so I kept going out with him until then.
Lene 1 week ago
Sounds quite a bit like the first relationship I ever had. And about 6months after the break up he started to email me asking me how things were. In the end he just wanted to know how many guys I'd slept with after him. I said 3 and he thought I was being such a s.lut for that (because it was more ppl than he'd slept with) and he got very very hostile in the emails so I had to inform him that if he ever contacted me again, I'd call the police. I never heard from him again but I still decided to leave the city because I didn't felt safe on the street (what if I met him? I was so traumatised from the relationship with him that I wasn't sure if I'd get fullblown anxiety attacks if I met him or if I'd end up in prison for killing him. So I just left).
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StrangeOne 2 weeks ago (edited)
When we realized we were considered common-law spouses after living with each other for a while, with pretty much the same benefits and rights as a legally married couple, except with an easier exit out of the relationship. I'm glad I didn't marry my last boyfriend. I still got a wear a ring.
Nikole 2 weeks ago
I found out yesterday that the guy I was with for like 11 years has a new girlfriend (he moved out around a year ago). It’s just a weird feeling… I keep having to remind myself about the bad stuff.
CF 1 week ago
Stay strong! Assuming you were pleased he moved out (or at least that you thought it was for the best.) I remember those weird feelings when an ex found a significant other before I did. Just because some other poor girl has fallen for his c**p doesn't mean he has changed. Ppl rarely change in a meaningful way (relationship-wise) over the course of a short year.
Load More Replies... Nitka Tsar 2 weeks ago
My first real relationship there were lots of things, but the situation I can remember best is, when I visited him and he left me alone half of the time but then complained that I was reading a book and pretended to throw it into the fire.
FreeTheUnicorn 2 weeks ago
None of these posts are about deciding there was no point in getting married, they are all about knowing there was no point in continuing the relationship. Seems a waste to confuse the two.
Tiger 2 weeks ago
There were a few that specifically mentioned marriage. And the majority of relationships continue to the point of marriage, so it’s not a big stretch.
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WayoftheStarPrincess 1 week ago
When I looked at him with annoyance because he wanted to talk seriously about our sex life (that was only barely a thing at all) and I had to admit to myself that my conversion therapy experiment on my self wasn't working and I really was a fully fledged lesbian. He didn't deserve being treated like a science project by me no matter how much I wanted to be straight and not have to deal with being shunned by my churchy friends. We did manage to stay friends, me and the guy, because he was a sweetheart through all of it once he'd been allowed to be sad. And I ditched the churchy crowd anyway a year later. Nothing against religious people but I grew up around conservative pentcostal people and it skewed my world view a bit despite my parents being atheist.
Doctor Strange 2 weeks ago
For me, I'd say it was about the time she admitted she was deliberately trying to make me commit suicide.
Lyoness 2 weeks ago
I don't even know what to say about that except how sorry I am that that happened to you and how glad I am to know you aren't together any more.
Load More Replies... Wysteria_Rose 2 weeks ago
I dated him for five going on six years, but I had this "oh sh*t" moment when his grandmother referred to me as her future granddaughter-in-law. Suddenly, it hit me that getting married meant a lifetime of our relationship, and I did NOT want it. We had been stagnant, he could be downright cold and belittling while refusing therapy that I felt he needed. I ended it and he got so angry and said, "I haven't felt anything for you for years, I was still willing to go through with it." Proved my point.
Kathy 2 weeks ago
My first boyfriend said he wanted to marry me, but decided he would rape me as I didn't want to have sex with him. He didn't succeed as I managed to beat him up and leave him writhing in pain on the floor. Later he called me up saying he wanted to kill me. The upside of that incident, apart from being a wakeup call, was that it gave me the confidence to know I could defend myself. I wasn't in love with him and could see that he was not really a great guy, but he was the first guy who had ever been interested in me, so I kept going out with him until then.
Lene 1 week ago
Sounds quite a bit like the first relationship I ever had. And about 6months after the break up he started to email me asking me how things were. In the end he just wanted to know how many guys I'd slept with after him. I said 3 and he thought I was being such a s.lut for that (because it was more ppl than he'd slept with) and he got very very hostile in the emails so I had to inform him that if he ever contacted me again, I'd call the police. I never heard from him again but I still decided to leave the city because I didn't felt safe on the street (what if I met him? I was so traumatised from the relationship with him that I wasn't sure if I'd get fullblown anxiety attacks if I met him or if I'd end up in prison for killing him. So I just left).
Load More Replies... StrangeOne 2 weeks ago (edited)
When we realized we were considered common-law spouses after living with each other for a while, with pretty much the same benefits and rights as a legally married couple, except with an easier exit out of the relationship. I'm glad I didn't marry my last boyfriend. I still got a wear a ring.
Nikole 2 weeks ago
I found out yesterday that the guy I was with for like 11 years has a new girlfriend (he moved out around a year ago). It’s just a weird feeling… I keep having to remind myself about the bad stuff.
CF 1 week ago
Stay strong! Assuming you were pleased he moved out (or at least that you thought it was for the best.) I remember those weird feelings when an ex found a significant other before I did. Just because some other poor girl has fallen for his c**p doesn't mean he has changed. Ppl rarely change in a meaningful way (relationship-wise) over the course of a short year.
Load More Replies... Nitka Tsar 2 weeks ago
My first real relationship there were lots of things, but the situation I can remember best is, when I visited him and he left me alone half of the time but then complained that I was reading a book and pretended to throw it into the fire.
FreeTheUnicorn 2 weeks ago
None of these posts are about deciding there was no point in getting married, they are all about knowing there was no point in continuing the relationship. Seems a waste to confuse the two.
Tiger 2 weeks ago
There were a few that specifically mentioned marriage. And the majority of relationships continue to the point of marriage, so it’s not a big stretch.
Load More Replies... WayoftheStarPrincess 1 week ago
When I looked at him with annoyance because he wanted to talk seriously about our sex life (that was only barely a thing at all) and I had to admit to myself that my conversion therapy experiment on my self wasn't working and I really was a fully fledged lesbian. He didn't deserve being treated like a science project by me no matter how much I wanted to be straight and not have to deal with being shunned by my churchy friends. We did manage to stay friends, me and the guy, because he was a sweetheart through all of it once he'd been allowed to be sad. And I ditched the churchy crowd anyway a year later. Nothing against religious people but I grew up around conservative pentcostal people and it skewed my world view a bit despite my parents being atheist.
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