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Teen Tired Of Asking Extended Family To Call Him By His Real Name, Starts Ignoring Them
![“[Am I The Jerk] For Not Responding When Someone Doesn’t Use My Actual Name?”](https://www.boredpanda.com/blog/wp-content/uploads/2024/12/real-name-foster-family-fb31-png__700.jpg)
Despite what anyone might say, I believe that names are quite powerful. When someone says ‘Dumbledore’, I think of wisdom, meanwhile ‘Aphrodite’ reminds me of love, so yeah, names do leave an impression, and a person’s choice of their name should be respected.
That is not the case with this teen’s extended foster family who insist on calling him ‘Nicholas’ even though he repeatedly told them that his name is ‘Nico’. Fed up by them, he took his foster parents’ advice and finally decided to ignore them, but apparently, they found this rude!
More info: Reddit
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A person’s choice of a name should be respected as it can leave quite an impression, but not everyone agrees
Image credits: Mike Moloney / Pexels (not the actual photo)
The poster’s name is ‘Nico’ but many people fail to understand that it’s not short for ‘Nicholas’, and he has to correct them
Image credits: Worldly-Pea-5367
Image credits: freepik / Freepik (not the actual photo)
He lives with a really amazing foster family but has a problem with their relatives as they insist on calling him Nicholas because it’s “professional”
Image credits: Worldly-Pea-5367
Image credits: freepik / Freepik (not the actual photo)
They even advised him to change his name and refused to use his real one even when he asked them to, so his foster parents advised him to ignore them
Image credits: Worldly-Pea-5367
When he did indeed ignore them, they found him rude, and even though his foster parents were supportive of him, he felt bad ignoring the extended family
It has been observed that 368,500 children were in foster care in the US during the year 2022, and today’s story is about one such kid who ended up with an amazing foster family. Our protagonist is a 16-year-old guy whose name is ‘Nico’, and he always has to inform people that it is NOT short for ‘Nicholas’.
He tells us that he has wonderful foster parents who actually look after him well, and foster siblings who are pretty fine with having him around. In fact, this kind couple is also in touch with the other foster kids that they have looked after.
Research states that maltreatment, including neglect and abuse, is a major factor that plagues the foster system in the US. Fortunately, our main character landed up with such amazing people, but he has a problem with their extended family.
Apparently, these people simply refuse to call him Nico and insist on Nicholas as it sounds more “professional” for an adult male. These relatives are so entitled that they even give unsolicited advice to the original poster (OP) and ask him to change his name.
He always corrects them, but it falls on deaf ears, and their reasoning for this behavior is, “But Nico is short for Nicholas!” The teen was probably fed up with these people, and even his foster parents told him that he should ignore them if they kept at it purposely.
That’s exactly what Nico started doing, and refused to respond when someone said Nicholas and asked him to pass the potatoes at dinner once. His foster parents also said that they didn’t know anyone named Nicholas, meanwhile, his foster sibling “Nicole”, assumed it was her they were referring to and passed them the potatoes.
Well, this didn’t go down well with the people as Nico’s ignorance “bothered” them. They called him rude and even said that he should be open to “wisdom others offer with name suggestions”. Ugh, some people and their big fat egos!
Image credits: freepik / Freepik (not the actual photo)
Anyway, his foster parents still backed him up as he ignored these people who were purposely ignorant of his name, but it still didn’t feel right for OP. You see, he doesn’t want to ruin things with any of the foster family members as he has found such a good one.
We have already seen how research talks about maltreatment in the foster care system, so Nico is bound to feel insecure about losing a good family when he finally finds one. On top of it, he mentions that he has been in the system since he was 2 years old, and looking at the way he’s trying not to mess things up here, he might’ve had some bad experiences in the past.
When the teen posted his story online, many people advised him that he was not doing anything wrong by ignoring such people. After all, he was only fighting their ignorance with ignorance, wasn’t he?
Folks also called out these relatives for having the gall to suggest the guy change his complete name just because they don’t find it to their standards. Some even spoke about how they were indirectly trying to take away his identity by enforcing a “professional” name onto him.
Research suggests, “The importance of identity development for teens is huge. When a teen is developing their identity they are learning what makes them unique while also feeling the need to fit in. For teens who feel excluded from others, this process can lead them to begin participating in harmful behavior that prevents the formation of a secure and positive self-identity.”
Well, looks like ignoring such people who might have an impact on his identity definitely sounds like the way forward for the teen. People also pointed out that his foster parents sounded very understanding, so his messing things up was not really likely. Given the fact that the couple themselves suggested he do that, it does seem like they care about the teen.
Don’t you think so? If you were in his shoes, what would you do? Let us know your thoughts in the comments section!
People online backed him up by stating that he was not doing anything wrong by ignoring them, and they even praised his wonderful foster family
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What do you think ?
Donkey boi 2 weeks ago
From my experience, 'Nick' is short for Nicolas. Nico, is short for a few names but is also a stand alone name. Like 'Fred', can be short for Alfred, Wilfred or Fredrick, but it could just be Fred.
LB 2 weeks ago (edited)
In Germany, it's Nicholas - Nico. Sometimes Nicki. In my experience anyway.
Load More Replies...
Ace 2 weeks ago
Weird, I don't get why they would do this. Is it some sort of racism, assuming that Nico is from some 'undesirable' culture?
BrownEyedPanda 2 weeks ago
Actually, it's a power play. Those other family members see him as less-than, and believe that they have dominance over him. Proving them wrong is a constant thorn in their sides.
Load More Replies...
LakotaWolf (she/her) 2 weeks ago
I have a friend whose name is Chris. That's what it is on his birth certificate. Just Chris. Not Christopher or Christofferson or Christian or any other name that might have "Chris" as a nickname. Just Chris. XD Legal name considerations aside, it's also weird that these people are just... deciding to call OP by something else when he clearly goes by "Nico" in every situation/what his foster family calls him. Even if his name WAS Nicholas, if EVERYONE close to him calls him Nico/if he introduces himself as Nico, why would anyone have the audacity to call him something else? If that's how he introduces himself, that's his name.
Tango Wox 2 weeks ago
Oddly enough I've been struggling with an inverse of this, where folks keep shortening my name despite being told I do not like being called that.
notlikeyou1971 2 weeks ago
I definitely wouldn't answer to a name that doesn't belong to me. So you aren't really doing anything wrong. These people need to get it through their head that it's not your name one way or another. The foster parents are right.
Vinnie 2 weeks ago
The relatives sound like social climbers who imagine rich people always use "Bartholomew" and "Elizabeth" instead of "Bart" and "Liz".
Not-a-Clue (she/her) 2 weeks ago
In the UK the REALLY posh people often have ridiculous nicknames like Bunny, but if you're rich enough that's "eccentric" rather than looked-down on 🤷🏼♀️
Load More Replies...
The_Nicest_Misanthrope 2 weeks ago
Your foster parents sound amazing and like they back you 100%
Paul Rabit 2 weeks ago
I have a friend who's name is Dan. Just Dan. I called him Daniel once, and he corrected me. And you know what? I call him Dan now because that's his name and that's what he prefers to be called. Not hard.
Dar Mal 2 weeks ago
Sometimes, kids' only identity is their name. As a teacher, I make a point of asking them how to pronounce their name correctly, if they use the shortened form, etc.
Betsy S 1 week ago
ESPECIALLY when in foster care. Sometimes their name is literally all they have.
Load More Replies...
Paula Glasscoe 2 weeks ago
We have a guy at work who is generally called Steve/Stevie by everyone but he introduces himself as Stephen and puts Stephen on his Christmas cards so that’s what I call him. I don’t think he minds too much either way but I feel it’s more respectful to use the name he thinks of himself as.
Schmebulock 2 weeks ago
This is a very effective strategy and infuriates those it's used against.
The Starsong Princess 2 weeks ago
Every time they do this, play “That’s Not My Name” by the Ting-Tings and dance.
Lupita Nyong'heaux 2 weeks ago
one of my good friends who i grew up with is named becky. it's not short for rebecca, her given name is becky. plot twist: she's black. LMAO
Not-a-Clue (she/her) 2 weeks ago
I'm in the same boat. I have a one-syllable name and people often make assumptions about what it's short for. There are quite a number of possibilities. It's quite wearing having to justify it, although if I'm bored (and they are being arsey about it) I let them keep guessing and going through all the options they can think of before eventually correcting them. I introduced myself as .... and that's my name. It's also in my email signature, driving licence, passport etc etc. I really don't understand why people can't just accept calling you whatever you choose, (regardless of whether it's on your birth certificate or not.)
JD 2 weeks ago
exact same thing happens to my husband all the time. He had an Italian grandfather who's name was long like Giovanni, and he decided to go by "Joe" for short. So, my man is born and they name him "Joe" after grandpa. But he gets people all the time calling him "Joseph" and then explaining to him "But Joe is short for Joseph" not in this case. In this case it's just Joe. That's what's on his birth certificate.
BrownEyedPanda 2 weeks ago
The foster parents are the ones I wish I had when I was in the system. The snobby family members are rotten bananas. Like bananas, they come in bunches, unfortunately. Deliberately and repeatedly calling someone out of their name is no less than bullying. Glad OP'S foster parents have his back.
Philly Bob 2 weeks ago
My name is Robert but I go by Bob (or Robert). I never liked "Bobby" as a nickname. Not that it's bad, I just never cared for it. There are 5 people in my life that called me Bobby and 3 of them have passed on. My Mom, Dad, Sisters Valerie (RIP), Dawn and a very long time friend who also happens to be named Bob (Robert). So yeah, close family, but people still insist on Bobby (I'm 66, I think I know what I like to be called.) I have been called worse though! LOL! Funny though, my moniker of Philly Bob has a story to it to a point where people just seem to call me "Philly or PB." Phil is also not an option!
Stefanie Murphy 2 weeks ago
My great nephews name is Nico...he was named after Nico the Unicorn 😍😍😍
Mark Heelis 2 weeks ago
Even if it was short for Nicolas, if he prefers Nico then who cares? If David or Christopher prefer Dave or Chris, I'm going to call them Dave or Chris.
Miki 2 weeks ago
Damn. I love his foster family. I really do. Great ppl who supports him. Parents and siblings. I want to add something else. This is so painful to hear about ppl like him.. Ppl who are "in the system". I mean it's so f*****g sad we have a need for this system to exist. ;(
Pandapoo 2 weeks ago
Unfortunately, every society needs one. Some people shouldn’t be parents.
Load More Replies...
JuniorCJ82 2 weeks ago
I have literally NEVER heard anyone named Nic(h)olas shorten it to Nico in my life. I have a Nico in my family, but his full name is NOT that.
Yvonne Dauwalder Balsiger 2 weeks ago
I worked with several Nicos so far and I went to Kindergarten with a boy named Nico some 40 years ago. Nico has been a perfectly acceptable name for men for over 100 years, but ok, Aunt Karen and Uncle Kevin know better https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Nico_(given_name)
Laura Gillette 2 weeks ago
Isn't Nico a Japanese name? There's a character in Marvel's runaways named Nico, she's Japanese (I guess it's a girl's name in Japanese). We actually named our black cat after that character, because Nico in the comic is a goth witch and wears all black all the time! So we have a black girl cat named Nico.
Seán Hannan 2 weeks ago
I don't like when AITA posts are really "Hey, everyone, these people are @ssh0les, right?" posts.
Donkey boi 2 weeks ago
From my experience, 'Nick' is short for Nicolas. Nico, is short for a few names but is also a stand alone name. Like 'Fred', can be short for Alfred, Wilfred or Fredrick, but it could just be Fred.
LB 2 weeks ago (edited)
In Germany, it's Nicholas - Nico. Sometimes Nicki. In my experience anyway.
Load More Replies... Ace 2 weeks ago
Weird, I don't get why they would do this. Is it some sort of racism, assuming that Nico is from some 'undesirable' culture?
BrownEyedPanda 2 weeks ago
Actually, it's a power play. Those other family members see him as less-than, and believe that they have dominance over him. Proving them wrong is a constant thorn in their sides.
Load More Replies... LakotaWolf (she/her) 2 weeks ago
I have a friend whose name is Chris. That's what it is on his birth certificate. Just Chris. Not Christopher or Christofferson or Christian or any other name that might have "Chris" as a nickname. Just Chris. XD Legal name considerations aside, it's also weird that these people are just... deciding to call OP by something else when he clearly goes by "Nico" in every situation/what his foster family calls him. Even if his name WAS Nicholas, if EVERYONE close to him calls him Nico/if he introduces himself as Nico, why would anyone have the audacity to call him something else? If that's how he introduces himself, that's his name.
Tango Wox 2 weeks ago
Oddly enough I've been struggling with an inverse of this, where folks keep shortening my name despite being told I do not like being called that.
notlikeyou1971 2 weeks ago
I definitely wouldn't answer to a name that doesn't belong to me. So you aren't really doing anything wrong. These people need to get it through their head that it's not your name one way or another. The foster parents are right.
Vinnie 2 weeks ago
The relatives sound like social climbers who imagine rich people always use "Bartholomew" and "Elizabeth" instead of "Bart" and "Liz".
Not-a-Clue (she/her) 2 weeks ago
In the UK the REALLY posh people often have ridiculous nicknames like Bunny, but if you're rich enough that's "eccentric" rather than looked-down on 🤷🏼♀️
Load More Replies... The_Nicest_Misanthrope 2 weeks ago
Your foster parents sound amazing and like they back you 100%
Paul Rabit 2 weeks ago
I have a friend who's name is Dan. Just Dan. I called him Daniel once, and he corrected me. And you know what? I call him Dan now because that's his name and that's what he prefers to be called. Not hard.
Dar Mal 2 weeks ago
Sometimes, kids' only identity is their name. As a teacher, I make a point of asking them how to pronounce their name correctly, if they use the shortened form, etc.
Betsy S 1 week ago
ESPECIALLY when in foster care. Sometimes their name is literally all they have.
Load More Replies... Paula Glasscoe 2 weeks ago
We have a guy at work who is generally called Steve/Stevie by everyone but he introduces himself as Stephen and puts Stephen on his Christmas cards so that’s what I call him. I don’t think he minds too much either way but I feel it’s more respectful to use the name he thinks of himself as.
Schmebulock 2 weeks ago
This is a very effective strategy and infuriates those it's used against.
The Starsong Princess 2 weeks ago
Every time they do this, play “That’s Not My Name” by the Ting-Tings and dance.
Lupita Nyong'heaux 2 weeks ago
one of my good friends who i grew up with is named becky. it's not short for rebecca, her given name is becky. plot twist: she's black. LMAO
Not-a-Clue (she/her) 2 weeks ago
I'm in the same boat. I have a one-syllable name and people often make assumptions about what it's short for. There are quite a number of possibilities. It's quite wearing having to justify it, although if I'm bored (and they are being arsey about it) I let them keep guessing and going through all the options they can think of before eventually correcting them. I introduced myself as .... and that's my name. It's also in my email signature, driving licence, passport etc etc. I really don't understand why people can't just accept calling you whatever you choose, (regardless of whether it's on your birth certificate or not.)
JD 2 weeks ago
exact same thing happens to my husband all the time. He had an Italian grandfather who's name was long like Giovanni, and he decided to go by "Joe" for short. So, my man is born and they name him "Joe" after grandpa. But he gets people all the time calling him "Joseph" and then explaining to him "But Joe is short for Joseph" not in this case. In this case it's just Joe. That's what's on his birth certificate.
BrownEyedPanda 2 weeks ago
The foster parents are the ones I wish I had when I was in the system. The snobby family members are rotten bananas. Like bananas, they come in bunches, unfortunately. Deliberately and repeatedly calling someone out of their name is no less than bullying. Glad OP'S foster parents have his back.
Philly Bob 2 weeks ago
My name is Robert but I go by Bob (or Robert). I never liked "Bobby" as a nickname. Not that it's bad, I just never cared for it. There are 5 people in my life that called me Bobby and 3 of them have passed on. My Mom, Dad, Sisters Valerie (RIP), Dawn and a very long time friend who also happens to be named Bob (Robert). So yeah, close family, but people still insist on Bobby (I'm 66, I think I know what I like to be called.) I have been called worse though! LOL! Funny though, my moniker of Philly Bob has a story to it to a point where people just seem to call me "Philly or PB." Phil is also not an option!
Stefanie Murphy 2 weeks ago
My great nephews name is Nico...he was named after Nico the Unicorn 😍😍😍
Mark Heelis 2 weeks ago
Even if it was short for Nicolas, if he prefers Nico then who cares? If David or Christopher prefer Dave or Chris, I'm going to call them Dave or Chris.
Miki 2 weeks ago
Damn. I love his foster family. I really do. Great ppl who supports him. Parents and siblings. I want to add something else. This is so painful to hear about ppl like him.. Ppl who are "in the system". I mean it's so f*****g sad we have a need for this system to exist. ;(
Pandapoo 2 weeks ago
Unfortunately, every society needs one. Some people shouldn’t be parents.
Load More Replies... JuniorCJ82 2 weeks ago
I have literally NEVER heard anyone named Nic(h)olas shorten it to Nico in my life. I have a Nico in my family, but his full name is NOT that.
Yvonne Dauwalder Balsiger 2 weeks ago
I worked with several Nicos so far and I went to Kindergarten with a boy named Nico some 40 years ago. Nico has been a perfectly acceptable name for men for over 100 years, but ok, Aunt Karen and Uncle Kevin know better https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Nico_(given_name)
Laura Gillette 2 weeks ago
Isn't Nico a Japanese name? There's a character in Marvel's runaways named Nico, she's Japanese (I guess it's a girl's name in Japanese). We actually named our black cat after that character, because Nico in the comic is a goth witch and wears all black all the time! So we have a black girl cat named Nico.
Seán Hannan 2 weeks ago
I don't like when AITA posts are really "Hey, everyone, these people are @ssh0les, right?" posts.
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