Say what you want, but we, humans, can get protective about our food. Doesn’t matter if there’s an overabundance of it or you’re simply looking after a brand new human being at your most vulnerable, a hungry invader feasting on your yummy stash could nag at any of us.

A breadwinning mother decided to ask parents’ go-to community “Mumsnet” whether she’s making too big of a deal of her 7-year-old stepdaughter carelessly “eating all [their] fruit.” Considering the family’s tight budget and lack of appreciation shown for heaps full of vitamin-rich food the kid is provided, you could say it’s only fair. Then again, the child is experiencing a massive change of scenery. We will let you draw your own conclusions by reading the full story below.

When money is tight, the entire household has to be on the same page when it comes to sharing food

Image credits: Andrea Piacquadio (not the actual photo)

This mother shared her frustration with her stepdaughter who kept eating all the fruits in the house she could lay her hands on

Image credits: choreograph (not the actual photo)

Image source: Katey83

Stress can be a catalyst for developing a problematic relationship with food

Image credits: Andres Ayrton (not the actual photo)

Food is and has always been a universal language that unites people from all walks of life. It nourishes us, sustains us, and, of course, brings us immense pleasure. It’s also yummy and transcends the need for verbal communication. No wonder why TV shows, such as the late Anthony Bourdain’s “Parts Unknown”, are so appealing to the public.

And yet, for many of us, the relationship with food is anything but straightforward. More often than not, it’s complicated, messy, and fraught with conflicting emotions. According to a 2012 study from the Finnish Institute of Occupational Health, feeling burned out can easily lead people to seek comfort in food. In 2013, for example, a stunning 38% of adults admitted to overeating or eating unhealthy foods due to stress.

Whether it’s reaching for comfort food after a long day in the office or school, or mindlessly snacking while scrolling through social media, overeating can be a way to numb out and avoid dealing with uncomfortable feelings. Regardless, it’s important to understand the difference between different kinds of problematic munching.

“We all engage in some level of emotional eating – or using food to manage emotions, regardless of the quantity consumed – from time to time, given that food is inherently comforting,” Dr. Mallory Frayn, a clinical psychologist and the founder of ‘Impulse Psychology‘, explained to Bored Panda in an email. “It usually only becomes a problematic behavior if eating is used to regulate emotions at the expense of other coping strategies,” such as dealing with the problem or distracting yourself with sports.

Children, much like their parents, may seek solace in food as a way to cope with challenging emotions

Image credits: Andrea Piacquadio (not the actual photo)

It’s no secret, then, that kids can be particularly susceptible to developing an unhealthy relationship with food. Between navigating the stresses of approaching adolescence, trying to fit in with societal beauty standards, or dealing with their parents’ separation, many kids are left vulnerable to engaging in disordered eating behaviors or falling into a pattern of emotional eating.

Even statistics back this up: according to a study by the journal JAMA Pediatrics, more than 1-in-5 kids around the world show signs of disordered eating, including emotional eating. “If you see that your child is engaging in overeating behaviors, there is most likely some level of restriction that feeds this (i.e., if you don’t eat enough, later on, it’s very likely going to lead to overeating as your body tries to overcompensate for the nourishment it hasn’t received),” said Frayn. “So it’s important not to further reinforce this by encouraging your child to restrict, lose weight, etc.”

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But parents are protective about their little ones – just as they can be about their food stash, as this story proves. Sensing that something is amiss with the way your (step)child approaches eating, it’s only natural that one would treat it as a distress call. And then try to step in and help. “I would stay away from anything prescriptive,” Frayn suggested, “it’s better to try and understand why your child is overeating than jumping straight to explaining to them why this is bad.”

However, there’s nothing an empathetic one-to-one cannot fix

Image creidits: Anete Lusina (not the actual photo)

Dr. Joshua Coleman, a psychologist in private practice and the author of “Rules of Estrangement“, shares Mallory’s sentiment that parents should approach the problem by using empathy, instead of guilt. “You could say, ‘Well, what if you came home and one of my friends had eaten all the fruits? You’d be very upset, wouldn’t you?'”, he told Bored Panda in an email. “Of course, depending on their age and level of sophistication, the kid might simply say ‘no, I don’t care.'” Coleman argues that this scenario is particularly possible if you’re a stepparent, who has a much thinner line to walk than a biological parent.

Dealing with a child’s problematic eating behavior can be a challenging and sensitive issue for any parent. But according to Dr. Frayn, taking a curious, non-judgmental approach can be the key to understanding and addressing the root causes of the behavior. “Inquiring about what your child is feeling can help you to better understand why they are doing what they are doing, which then informs the solution. For example, if your child is engaging in emotional eating to cope with bullying they are experiencing at school, shaming them for eating is only going to feed the problem, rather than getting to the bottom of what is happening and creating solutions to move forward,” she explained.

As such, parents may need to examine their own relationship with food and body image in order to better understand their child’s behavior. As Dr. Coleman reminds us, “Parents should have healthy eating habits themselves.” This can involve acknowledging and addressing any personal hang-ups or biases that may be influencing their own attitudes toward food and eating. “So parents have to think about it this way: ‘What are we role modeling? If we’re sitting there, binging on candy, then we have no room to complain, right?'”

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All parents seemed to agree that while binge-eating fruits is not healthy, this mom should also consider what her stepdaughter must be going through

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