What if it is as normal for men to wear makeup as women – where it’s more of an everyday, going-to-work type of thing? What if whatever is going on internally with the man is hopefully compelling enough that you can forget that you are looking at a man with makeup? What if this is all simply an “excuse” to stop and take a closer look – to connect with another and linger for longer then we would ever get to out in the world?

In answering those question during the culling process, I was not only surprised that the men in the final selects had more of a confrontational energy then I would have anticipated but also that striking the right balance ended up being more tricky then I would have thought.

Madelin and I talked a lot in advance about how to approach the makeup. The approach we landed on was to work with the man’s personality and not try to pull focus. Despite trying to get the makeup to blend with the man, I still felt that I wanted to work against the implied softness of the makeup. At the same time however, I didn’t want to glorify or celebrate what I perceived as the hardness and arrogant energy that men can be associated with.

What was surprising was that by putting on makeup normally reserved for women, I had to let go of all my stories I tell about men and I ironically got to see clearer not only the man in front of me but also what it means for me to be a man.

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Despite trying to get the makeup to blend with the man, I still felt that I wanted to work against the implied softness of the makeup

At the same time however, I didn’t want to glorify or celebrate what I perceived as the hardness and arrogant energy that men can be associated with

I faced not only my own bias about men with makeup but also that I need permission to show men in their strength, owning their own space while also embracing an unflinching intimacy and vulnerability

Having grown up with a father who modelled the negative shadow side of the dominating male I am not surprised I have a resistance to showing men in this light

Editing this project brought forward the uncomfortable realization that as a man I find myself wanting to apologize for men

On some level this might be good, but a line gets crossed when I start to apologize not for what have men done but for simple fact of being a man

That internalized shame brings up the fear of either being too overbearing or too soft and weak

It was surprising that by putting on makeup, I had to let go of all my stories I tell about men. I got to see clearer not only the man in front of me but also what it means for me to be a man

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