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The subconscious mind causes us to behave in ways we don’t even realize. We might find ourselves doing something without thinking about it, and we don’t stop to ask ourselves why, either. The inner psyche is deep and complex but that doesn’t mean it can’t be shaped with some clever hacks.
Recently, a Reddit user asked everyone to share the psychological tricks that blew their mind when they first heard them. Bored Panda has collected the finest ones to help you become a master of the mind.
From ones to help you realize yourself more fully, to ones that will help you to get what you want from others, there are lots of valuable tips here. And some funnier ones too! See what you can learn and check out our other collections here and here too!
This post may include affiliate links.
#1
If someone makes a derogatory joke about you in a group setting, play dumb and ask them to explain. It’s not funny the second time and they will look like an AH
Lauren Caswell 4 years ago
I've done this before and it turns it from a hurtful situation to one where i can also gauge by others reaction to my question, who my real friends are
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WilvanderHeijden 4 years ago
Doesn't work all the time. When someone says you're stupid and you ask them to explain, all they have to say is "See?". Everything you will say from that point on is just shooting yourself in the foot, over and over again. Best come back I heard was "Wasn't that what your dad said about you yesterday?"
Justin G 4 years ago
Yeah maybe it would be better to not play dumb but still ask them to explain why it was “funny” … also I love the comeback! 😆
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HardTruths 4 years ago
Ah, yes, I tried this with someone who made a snide remark at me. I asked him to explain what he meant. He ignored me twice. I persisted in asking and he was forced to give an explanation, and then back off.
Vanessa Wanner 4 years ago
I did this to a coworker who kept telling me dirty jokes. He turned red when I asked him to explain it and never told me one again!
JJ Buddhabrot 4 years ago
Nope, doesn't always work. Sometimes the group will just laugh at you more, and again. You're inviting the joke to be repeated! This logic doesn't apply to every type of people/group of colleagues.
Rob Williams 4 years ago
Also works for racist/sexist/homophobic jokes. Pretend you don't understand and ask for it to be explained and the teller has to confront their prejudice.
Bored Panda spoke with Dr. Tara Well, a professor of psychology and creator of the 'Mirror Meditation' technique. This mindful practice is based on the neuroscience of 'mirroring' and her psychological research on stress-management, self-compassion, and emotional resilience. The technique teaches people how to increase self-awareness, confidence and personal presence; manage stress and emotions; and develop self-compassion.
If you’re interested in learning how to use mirrors and reflections for your own psychological benefit, you should visit her website and pre-order her upcoming book on Mirror Meditation. She’s always active on Psychology Today, so be sure to read more of her published writings there too.
Dr. Well told Bored Panda more about her unique technique and experience in psychological studies. She said, “As a psychology professor, I study mirrors and reflections. People often tell me that they hate looking in the mirror because they can make them feel self-conscious.”
As everyone has a mirror of some sort, she goes on to explain the psychological effects of them. She said, “We often use the mirror to check out how we look to others–as in morning grooming rituals and the stealth ‘spinach check’. But if you focus too much on how others view you, you may worry that they are judging you."
RELATED:
#2
I taught teenagers in a really tough London school. A colleague taught me a brilliant trick to get a kid to calm down when they were angry: Look them calmly in the eye and say “what do you want to happen next?” Most of the time they were so caught up in emotion they hadn’t thought about the consequences of their dickery. As soon as you prod them to think about consequences, most of them would calm down straight away.
Winter Eleven 4 years ago
"smrt" like the word means death in Slovenian 😆 the more you know 😆
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#3
Minimizing. If you feel like something is a really big chore or you just can't get yourself to get up and go do something, minimize it to a small insignificant part. Instead of doing all the garden work, say you're just going to take the tools out so when you want to work you can. 90% of the time once you're up and doing the small thing, the big bad chore doesn't seem so bad now and you end up doing it.
kasa alex 4 years ago
I do this a lot, like stacking all the dishes neatly so later in the day or tomorrow it doesn't feel like such a chore to actually wash. Or getting the vaccine cleaner out, then actually doing the vacuuming the nxt day
Daria B 4 years ago
Works also with bigger office tasks. Step 1: open document and take a quick look at it overall, then scroll back to the start. Step 2: take a short break (bathroom / make your coffee, tea, whatever / bring a snack, if needed / change your clothes if at home / etc.) Step 3. Go back to the computer, do a chunk, take another short break. Repeat.
Miss Cris 4 years ago
And you can put yourself a "done" after each one, feeling that you are doing a lot of things.
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littlesaresare 4 years ago
As a spoonie I find the best way to do chores is to break them into pieces. For example if I have to clean a room, I'll just clean a table, and then take a break, then sweep half the floor, take a break, sweep the rest of the floor, etc. It takes longer obviously but I get things done that way.
Chiuki 4 years ago
I call that "eating an elephant" -something a great CEO colleague taught me years ago. "When a task seems overwhelming, make a list of the part that need to be done... then pick one - ANY one part, and do that, then reevaluate the job. And just like chopping down a tree, bit by bit the job will get smaller and smaller until it's done".
Kathryn Baylis 4 years ago
Breaking up the big chore into its different sections means you can start checking each one off your list when it’s done—-and you won’t believe how quickly you’ll have them all checked off!
The 0roburos 4 years ago
We called it the 3 minute rule.. this has made me super productive at work..
Kevin the Manager 1 year ago
Soooo true! Drinking all of the beer at the pub is tough to do, so I always drink a bunch before getting there so that drinking the rest is easier...
So, how can we get out of this uncomfortable state? She continued, “First, realize you have a choice on where you put your attention. Then, deliberately shift your focus. Shift your attention off yourself and onto others.”
“For instance, if you are giving a presentation, focus your attention on your audience and build rapport with them. Don’t focus on yourself and how nervous you are or how you may look to them. Focus your attention outward instead.”
"In a conversation in which you start to feel uncomfortably self-conscious, shift the focus onto the other person by asking them a question and noticing how they are feeling instead," she explained. "When we feel anxious, we tend to focus on ourselves, which makes us even more nervous. Remember to volley the attention back and forth in conversation—don’t hold onto the ball of self-consciousness."
Dr. Well's advice goes to show that it's all in our head and we can make a conscious decision about our behavior, so long as we keep this advice with us.
#4
At a garage sale, my father wanted $5 for a desk. It sat all day. Eventually, he wrote $10, and $20 above the $5 and crossed them out making it look like he'd dropped the price twice. It was gone in under 30 minutes.
pusheen buttercup 4 years ago
Si! That's what sales are. Everything is inflated so it can drop.
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WilvanderHeijden 4 years ago
My brother in law sold his old car so he put a sign on it asking €500. It didn't sell. Someone told him to raise the price to €1500. It was sold in two days to a guy who said that he saw a similar car somewhere in the neighborhood for €500 but he thought that car was probably just a wreck because it was too cheap.
Tim Douglass 4 years ago
So, instead of putting stuff out at the curb with a "free" sign, I put $10 on it and it gets stolen immediately. What's marked as free will sit for days.
jk nbt 4 years ago
this is retailing as usual... first offer for a high price. When it doesn't sell, mark it down to what it should have been in the first place... Eventually offer the tacky unwanted stuff that didn't sell at all for a price that still recovers wholesale costs... hmm... worked for 120 years in the big mall stores, but doesn't work now due to big box stores with discounts and online sales... glad you got it to still work for you in your front yard..
Daniel (ShadowDrakken) 4 years ago
This is how 'sales' trick your brain, and why companies like JCPenny, Torrid, Lane Bryant, Joann, Bath & Body Works, etc are in a perpetual state of "sale".
purple zebra 4 years ago
I had a $5 sign on a steam cleaner and no one wanted it. I changed the sign to a new one that said $20 and it sold right away. Very strange but I guess people wanted it more when it was still cheap but not too cheap.
Brenda Swann 4 years ago
One store owner used bright orange price tags to make it look like a ‘sale’.
Two_rolling_black_eyes 4 years ago (edited)
I heard a podcast (Freakonomics maybe?) where they explained there are two types of people. Type 1 focuses on how much they spend. If there are two similar products costing $80 and $90 dollars, they usually buy the $80 dollar one. Type 2 focus on how much they save. If that $90 one has a 10% off coupon (ends up $1 more) they buy that one. Both do this because they think they are getting more for the least amount of money. Thrift stores are more popular with type 1 - you want the smallest price. You are looking specifically for the best couch under $100. Garage sale and flea markets are type 2 people - they want the best deal. They are looking for furniture and a $200 loveseat (seats 2) selling for $100 is better than a $100 couch (seats 3).
#5
If you don’t look a toddler in the eyes after it falls or hurts itself and just act like all is fine, there’s a good chance they won’t cry
Kay blue 4 years ago
If they do start crying ask them if the floor is ok, and get them to check it.
Raven DeathShade 4 years ago
That's so cute XD. I'll try next time. My baby brother falls a lot, and another brother keeps panicking *eyeroll*
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WilvanderHeijden 4 years ago
"Oh dear, did you fall? Does it hurt?" triggers the WW2 air raid alarm.
HardTruths 4 years ago
Haha, you got that right. They need an audience, and see potential 'returns', before they wid invest energy in crying.
Alexandra Nara 4 years ago
I often started to yell to the floor: How dare you to hurt xy ? Act crazy- works out everytime and my kids even told me not to be so harsh, cause maybe it' s not only the floors fault
John C 4 years ago (edited)
I think avoiding eye contact only makes a difference if you need to mask your own reaction. If you're able to look them in the eye while holding a "this is totally fine" expression, then that's even better. Smile, help them up, brush them off, and get 'em going again without any fuss.
Riley Quinn 4 years ago
It's the reaction children respond to. If the onlookers 'panic', the child will pick up on those cues and panic. Unless it's a dire situation, ignore the child, and it will pick itself up and resume it's action.
Caroline Driver 4 years ago
Yes, they look at you to see what you're doing and if you're looking concerned, then they'll yell, but if you look surprised, or just neutral and say 'oops, upsie daisy', often they won't even think about being hurt. Pretty basic parenting, really, if even I know that.
Load More Replies..."In a conversation in which you start to feel uncomfortably self-conscious, shift the focus onto the other person by asking them an interested question and noticing how they are feeling instead," she explained. "When we feel anxious, we tend to focus on ourselves, which makes us even more nervous. Remember to volley the attention back and forth in conversation—don’t hold onto the ball of self-consciousness."
#6
If you ask someone to move over to an arbitrary different location to talk (could be 5 feet away) they are much more likely to listen to you and follow instructions. (One of my tricks as an elementary school teacher.)
LesAnimaux 4 years ago
Wasn't there also a tip somewhere that said 'never let them take you to a secondary location?'
#7
Stop talking.
If you want to get more information out of someone, just let them speak. There are times in a conversation that things stop. Most people want to fill this themselves, but don't. Let the other person do it.
This is especially useful if you think the person and their story is full of shit.
WilvanderHeijden 4 years ago
It's technique the police uses during "interviews" to make people give up their right to keep their mouth shut. Just be silent and wait till they can't bear the silence anymore and start to ramble.
Grumble O'Pug 4 years ago
So true. In negotiations, just let them fill the space and pick the starting point. Great study on this. They used tree heights. People were given the average heights of redwoods and then asked to guess the height of a specific tree. They always used the number they were given as their basis and the two groups were not close because they didn't use their own judgement. People are dreadfully easy to manipulate.
Load More Replies... Kay blue 4 years ago
I can imagine two people standing in silence forever because they are both waiting for the other to speak.
Chiuki 4 years ago
I've seen a lot of people do this, so I started using it myself when interviewing a prospective employee. I create "awkward silence" after asking open questions. Candidates will always keep talking, and reveal a lot about themselves and their way of thinking and problem solving.
BlindGirl UK 2 years ago
As someone training to be a counsellor (therapist), this is actually a technique counsellors use called: the silent start.
Satya Bain 4 years ago
I've done this at work for the last 20 years. I work in a call center and found out, quickly, that if you let them vent, you will get the answers to the majority of questions you have to ask.
RoseAnne Hutchence 4 years ago
Most introverts already know this, and use it to help deflect attention from themselves. And it's a great way to learn about other people.
Thorfin Wolfsbane 4 years ago
We have a national sport dedicated to this: it’s called a trump rally
#8
By walking with your head and eyes forward like you’re deliberately going somewhere, people will move out of your way. I first tried this in a crowed mall when I was 14 and was blown away. I felt so powerful at 14 lol.
Christian 4 years ago
Good tip. I usually walk after turning my head 90° and looking directly upwards.
Pamela 4 years ago
OTOH, if you're a female, some men will not move out of your way: they unconsciously expect others to move for them, especially women. Try consciously keeping to your path on the sidewalk or in a store, and I'm betting some of you will find that men will walk right into you. It's an eye-opener to notice how much we still accommodate men.
Just JoLynn 4 years ago
I've walked with a purpose for most of my life and never found this to be an issue. I find the people who do not move are those looking at their phones, from any age or gender, and expect the rest of the world to pay attention and move around them.
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Hermione 4 years ago
Or holding an empty mug and yelling “hot coffee...hot coffee!” Learned this gem from a previous BP post
Load More Replies... Winter Eleven 4 years ago
Oh, are you a male person? Some experiment showed that people don't bump into dudes but will expect women to move away
Mark Kelly 4 years ago
and walk straight and with purpose. It always works. I walked into a store and some guy thought I owned it and I'm lean and 5"6.
Winter Eleven 4 years ago
Old people still walk all over me even though i keep to the right side of the sidewalk
WorldNeedsReboot 4 years ago
also helps criminals to find another mark...you're paying attention and not walking with your head down, or stuck in a cell phone like a moron
#9
If you look and sound like you know what you are doing, odds are a fair amount of people will think you know what you are doing. Even if you don't
hyperunknown 4 years ago
My dad did this as a test with me when I was about 20. I had never been at his workplace, he'd been changing recently so the people there didn't know me yet. He got me clothes that looked like DHL/Bring/UPS-type clothes, like the delivery-type, right. He said, while he had his break and wasn't there, just go into the reception, say hello while just walking past, go through the hallway, and then the second office to the right (his). Calmly unplug the computer and take it with you and walk out, saying bye as you exit. Worked flawlessly. He worked as a security consultant and basically that was what got them in trouble - noone said anything because it LOOKED legit.Social engineering as it's finest, innit. I never forgot it and I've used it on other occasions to let me out of a jam.
Stefan Scheiben 4 years ago
That charm worked at a music college I knew. Two people in workers' clothes calmly walked into a lecture hall and told the professor they were there to collect the grand piano for maintenance and tuning. So they moved it out and into their truck - in the middle of a lesson and in front of about 100 students. The piano was never seen again.
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mpilting 4 years ago
There's a running joke in my family. I have an older brother who is actually really smart. If you want to something, go ask Greg. But sometimes it seems like he'll give an answer without really knowing what he's talking about. So we say, "Go ask Greg. He may not know, but he'll tell you anyway."
Steve Wilson 4 years ago
How do you think America gained it’s place in the world? Fooled damn near everybody.
Two_rolling_black_eyes 4 years ago
Fake it till you make it. Once you pass a certain level of competency, imposter syndrome sets in where you KNOW that everyone else KNOWS you are clueless. Best way through it is to do it and discover you are not as awful as you thought. Homer Simpson doesn't need to be Fermi to be good at the power plant (most episodes). On the other end, if you always feel like you know exactly what you are doing, your hubris is about to cause a fall. Its why Tom Brady spent the offseason practicing after winning the Super Bowl while Cam Newton, the man hired to replace him in his old job, got fired today for not putting in the work to learn the offense.
#10
Working as a waitress, if I noticed a customer was getting particularly impatient and it looked like they were going to be rude to me when I went over, when I would take the food over and before they got the chance to speak I’d say something like ‘So sorry for the wait, thanks for being so lovely about it!’ It seemed to catch them off guard and paint them as the ‘nice guy’ in my eyes, and more often than not their expression would change from pissed off to surprised, then they’d say something like ‘oh no problem it’s okay’ so they could keep being the nice guy and feel good about themselves and I avoid a chewing out.
SlartyBlartFast 4 years ago
in my corporate job, they been telling me to never say 'sorry for keeping you waiting' or 'sorry for being late' - rather say 'thank you for your patience' and the likes
Bgray450 3 years ago
I had a boss at Taco Bell who taught me the same thing. Very useful.
Load More Replies... Steve Wilson 4 years ago
See, that’s why I never worked in restaurants. Instead of saying “thanks for being so understanding” I’d probably say “before you act like an asshole to me remember I can spit in your food without you knowing “.
John Smith 4 years ago
Customer Service is a calling, I've great respect for the good ones.
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Claudia Godfrey 4 years ago
Working in the paint section at Bunnings hardware (where time is often needed fit complicated tinting) this approach worked for me 993 times out of 1000.
#11
i tend to procrastinate. a lot. I've given myself this rule where i will internally count down from whatever number and when i hit zero i have to do the thing or else. example: in the shower, depressed, letting the water run over me. i dont wanna get out but I'm wasting water. begin counting down from 30. 29. 28. 27... 3. 2 1. put hand on dial and turn it off without any thought. the only thought is "zero" i do this for lots of things
Demi Zwaan 4 years ago
Yeah, this doesn't work for me at all. Nothing works when you have executive dysfunction.
WilvanderHeijden 4 years ago
Me: "30. 29. 28. 27. Houston we have a problem, countdown stopped."
Barbara Baldwin 4 years ago
My problem is the opposite. If rather walk over hot coals than take a shower..
Amanda Hunter 4 years ago
I 'allow myself a treat' after completing said chore, even if it's watching the next installment of a show I like.
#12
If a toddler does something to get your attention, do the same. Once my nephew dropped on the floor and started having a tantrum by shouting and kicking. I did the same. He looked at me shocked and confused, got up and walked away lol
WilvanderHeijden 4 years ago
Ok, try doing that in the middle of the shopping mall. Security will escort you out.
Cactus McCoy 4 years ago
Or security will join, maybe? As long as they read this, too.
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Ted Expert 4 years ago
Cool, so if my toddler throws their spaghetti bolognese on the floor, or kicks the dog, or throws building blocks at the TV....?
purple zebra 4 years ago
Whisper to a child throwing a tantrum and they will calm themselves down to hear you
Janice Blaufox 4 years ago
I had a cousin who was known for her temper tantrums. The first time she pulled one at our house she threw herself face down on the floor. My father gave her one hard slap on the butt and she stopped in amazement. She never had a tantrum in our house again.
Kim Shannon 4 years ago
My stepdaughter used to have appalling tantrums when things didn't go her way. I got her to watch "Nanny 911" with me. When she saw how other kids looked when throwing tantrums, she realized how ridiculous she looked doing the same thing. No more tantrums after that
Jennifer Monroe 4 years ago
OMG! I did this with my baby sister. She stopped and stared at me. I said, "I was the youngest for 12 years before you came along. I'm better at it than you are." She never threw another tantrum with me again. I didn't really think about it after that. I didn't even think she remembered. Until her 13th birthday, when she came to me, so weirdly proud, "I've been the youngest for 13 years. I'm better at it!".
Two_rolling_black_eyes 4 years ago
I disagree. It devalues their attempt to manipulate other's feelings by using blackmail. There's a big difference between being angry, which can be healthy and appropriate, and using that anger as a bludgeoning force to get your way. Its a valuable lesson to teach a child that expressing your anger inappropriately may actually just cause others to feel the same way instead of forcing them to do what you want.
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CarlaMike Wreay 3 years ago
Acknowledging their frustration then modeling an alternative way to handle frustration also works and goes a long way towards long term solutions
mamafrog 4 years ago
My son did the head banging on the floor thing as a toddler. First time I paid attention, second and third time i checked to make sure he was okay and then just ignored him. He stopped after that. Also went through a very whiny voice stage, finally told him I wouldn't talk to him until he stopped doing it. he finally stopped.
#13
People who feel guilty will over explain to justify their actions.
I do insurance claims. I don't need to know why you backed into a pole, I don't care. It's covered, all I need is the incident and damage description. But man some people feel so bad about it, they won't stop going on about how the sun was in their eyes but they should have looked better and they can't believe it happened, and they have a reversing camera and sensors which were supposed to help but they didn't and they're so angry with themselves and it's a new car and they can't believe they've done this.
Wednesday 4 years ago
indeed. I felt terribly guilty when this little dipshit 17 years old crashed her fully restored '66 Charger into my shitty little Ford Fiesta. Not because I was in the wrong - she took a blind left with head on traffic - clearly her fault - but because it was such a beautiful car and her dad had spent two years and $14K restoring it and then gave it to her to drive JUST after she got her license. Your kids first car should be a total beater.
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Little king trash mouth 4 years ago
I think when I do this I'm trying to get the other person to validate that it, indeed, wasn't a big deal to begin with.
A Strike 4 years ago (edited)
How’s your husband Gary doing? I heard you renewed your wedding vows.
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A Strika 4 years ago
I over explain because talking to people makes me very nervous and I ramble. Unless I know you, you can expect nonstop babbling. And inappropriate nervous laughter at things that aren’t funny….
CarlaMike Wreay 3 years ago
Acknowledging them and reassuring them that it happens all the time…showing compassion… goes a long way
Cass 4 years ago
Makes me think of the parents who became suspects when their kid went missing and was later found dead. They over-explained and rambled on. It turned out they were stoned AF and didn't keep an eye on the kid. They didn't kill the kid though, that was someone else who took advantage of the situation.
#14
You know how small yappy dogs and tiny mice running around are terrifying despite us logically being much larger? Well in Kendo there is the "disarming scream" where you run at your opponent with a loud scream. When I've attempted doing my kendo practise, despite warning the person of what I'm about to do they inevitably drop the sword and can't take it. I've used this trick even without my old bamboo practise sword. Ie I ran at a violent mugger who was beating a young student. I'm a small woman but the guy still ran off. I've also used this trick to literally throw a guy more than twice my size (don't recommend unless you know how to do a judo throw) So basically, if you don't have an alternative, loud scream coinciding with running at your opponent works very well at disarming someone.
Sheila McEnany Markowitz 4 years ago
I have chased quite a few coyotes away using this method, as well as stopped people with nefarious intent from carrying out said intent.
Ellen Ranks 4 years ago
Very well-worded reply. "nefarious intent".... beautiful :-D
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littlesaresare 4 years ago
This is a pretty common strategy in small animal species. Aggressive confidence.
Raven DeathShade 4 years ago
This is how my mother stared down an angry bull. It was going to be either her or her fruit trees, and she sure as heck wasn't about to let something take her fruit trees.
Pumpkin Spice 4 years ago
"REEEEEEEEEEEEEEE" *tiny 13 yo girl slams into you and knocks you over* (Yes, I have a black belt in taekwondo, 3 of them actually, I'm fine lol)
Darren Redeckis 4 years ago
Yes I used this whilst charging at an oncoming forward as a soccer goalkeeper. They looked up every time giving me the opportunity to time my block
Marina Bailey 4 years ago
That's what my mother did many, many years ago when people were robbing the house across the road. They were loading things into a taxi (one of those white Hi-Aces) and she literally ran into the street in her pyjamas screaming. They slammed the back hatch shut and drove off with the wires from the VCR and TV still hanging out the back, leaving the duvets with booty wrapped in them still on the front lawn. My mom's friend, who was with her at the time, was like, "Are you crazy? What if they'd had a gun?" But they didn't and Mom lived many years after that.
#15
If you find yourself overthinking, stare at a fixated point. To fetch memories, your eyes need to move. So if you’re staring at a singular point, it’s very difficult to overthink.
Riley Quinn 4 years ago
The saccadic eye movements that people make when thinking have been largely ignored in the eye-movement literature. Nevertheless, there is evidence that such eye movements are systematically related to internal thought processes. On average, people move their eyes about twice as often when searching through long-term memory as they do when engaged in tasks that do not require such search. This pattern occurs when people are in face-to-face situations, when they are in the dark, and when they have their eyes closed. Because these eye movements do not appear to serve visual processing, we refer to them as “nonvisual” eye movements and discuss why the eyes move during thinking that does not involve vision. https://journals.sagepub.com/doi/abs/10.1177/0963721412436810 BTW: This actually works! I use it whenever my mind starts to go off the rails.
Joseph Kuhlman 4 years ago
YOU ARE DEFEATING THE PURPOSE! DONT OVERTHINK IT!
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Jenny Lorenz 4 years ago
Wrong. I can stare at a wall and think all kinds of things. Thoughts that range from there's a hole in my sock to a class I took in high school.
Petros Vrasivanopoulos 4 years ago
this is one bullshit, memory access has nothing t do with that where you look etc. thats an old theory thats been debunked
DM 4 years ago
I am trying it. I would say, if I look at a fixed spot the only way I can grasp my memories is to blur my eyes out. So I fall into this category I guess. Interesting.
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Joanie 4 years ago
I don't know about this one. In bed with my eyes closed, attempting to sleep, memories abound.
Aliquid A 4 years ago
just because your eyes are closed, doesn't mean that they are not moving.
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#16
Smile as soon as you first see people (you want to like you) as you greet them, like hey buddy how you doin ?! And look genuinley happy to see them... dont matter whether its girls, guys, young, old.. itll make them excited to see you like every time i dont get it but theres phsycology to it and it actually changed my life
kasa alex 4 years ago
I accidentally did this with a girl I didn't know, who I mistook for a friend when I was out surfing. I acted so happy to see her that she thought I was really kind and friendly, and we ended up becoming friends as well (:
Bender Bending Rodríguez 4 years ago
It is bold of you to assume I want to see and greet people.
Ellen Ranks 4 years ago
This might work in the US. Where I live, if you overdo this people might think you want something from them (like money) or you're weird.
John Smith 4 years ago
same with road rage, still common in the US, but very weird to foreigners [like you've lost your mind using the F word at strangers]
Load More Replies... RoseAnne Hutchence 4 years ago
How about BEING genuinely happy to see people, regardless of an agenda?
Nandi La Sophia 4 years ago
this is definitely an american thing. In a lot of other countries, smiling and being overly familiar with people makes them think you're psychotic or extremely phoney
Tom Spade 3 years ago
I learned this doing shows with bands. When I booked a gig, there was always people who seemed apprehensive about approaching me for things ranging from set slot, to tshirts, or just plain questions. So I adopted this same methodology, made myself look more approachable, and the results were amazing. All it takes is one person to be cool and friendly, the overall atmosphere of the evening can change just like that. The same applies to a$$#@les too, with opposite effect. But that's why we hire security.
Mickie Shea 4 years ago
Years ago I changed an entire department by smiling and greeting all with a "good toms you. many times adding "thank you" and "take good care".
#17
Talking myself to sleep. I’ll think things like, “my bed is sooooo comfortable. Sleeping is soooo easy. I love sleeping. Sleeping is great.” Instead of agonizing over why I can’t sleep. Positively reinforcing myself is my new lullaby lmao
Amy S 4 years ago
My husband gave me a tip that worked for me. When I am in bed getting annoyed that I cannot sleep just think of being in bed awake as 'resting'. That way way if I don't sleep I feel rested and usually I'll fall asleep anyway because I won't be stressing about how I can't fall asleep.
Ozacoter 4 years ago
I distract myself thinking about stuff that wont keep me awake. For example trying to name a song for each letter of the alphabet. Something like that. It keeps your mind from stressing about being awake but its simple enough that it wont awaken you. Eventually you fall sleep
Daria B 4 years ago (edited)
Naaaaaahhhhhh..... That one will keep me too focused to fall asleep. I need something to shut my brain from thinking, or something to make my eyes tired. Sounds like a good game, though....
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Emma Gee 4 years ago
When I was in jail I couldn't sleep and my anxiety was off the charts. (I am a recovering drug addict. Got caught with drugs and jail changed my life 8 years clean and sober now!) so whenever I needed to calm my nerves and hopefully fall asleep what I would do Is pick a movie or tv show Ive seen 100 times, my favorite was caddy shack and I would play the movie in my head from the very start and try to think of each scene in order and before id get 10 minutes into the movie I was fast asleep! I still use this trick today. Jail teaches you a lot of "coping" skills... especially when you don't have any and you're forced to deal with your situation and you don't have any way of changing it. This has helped me in my everyday life since I can't take pills being that I'm a recovering addict so coping skills are the only thing I have for when my anxiety goes crazy
pluck plk 4 years ago (edited)
Of course it works, in both ways. Being positive can help you go relatively better. Being negative will put you down even more. My trick for sleeping is quite different still, because I know my bed is comfy, and that I enjoy to sleep. The issue isn't in my perception of sleeping, but being an overthinking guy. When I have a screen to focus on, I can fall asleep easily, but in the complete dark, my head starts to overthink. So, for a few years now, when it's the case, I discuss with my brain. I tell him "okay buddy, today, I allow you to think for 15 minutes on whatever you wish, but then, we turn off the conscious". Works quite well :)
Mo Poppins 4 years ago
Conversely, reverse psychology is also effective, when the situation is right. “I’m not sleepy…I’m completely alert and have the energy to concentrate on reading/listening to this educational thing.”
Sasy 4 years ago
Breathing in for 8 hold for 4 out for 7, I have no idea if it is the breathing or if it is the concentrating on the counting that does it, but it works, I have been doing it a little over a year now and it is very rare to have hours of trying anymore, and I used to be awake at least 4+ hours extra every night and go down rabbit holes of thought and then even backwards navigate how I ended up there to make it even worse. The breathe counting has changed it all.
Kevin the Manager 1 year ago
Helps open new neural pathways, which can grant easier "access" to your body's natural sleep processes.
#18
My first workplace trick that I still use regularly: people will procrastinate with their own work, but drop everything to quickly "correct" someone else's work.
Example: Bill needs to provide a paragraph of text to go in your company's brochure. He's been dragging his feet forever and it's the last thing you're waiting on but he keeps putting it off. Go to where his paragraph should be and write a shitty version of what he's supposed to do. Don't invest more than ten seconds. "We do widget services. We are good at it. Our services are good for your widget needs." Send it to Bill saying "hey I filled in the last paragraph about widget services; can you check and make sure it meets your criteria, and I'll send it along to the boss for approval?" You'll have Bill's polished, fully composed text in about ten minutes.
Ellie Rosser 4 years ago
At which point you fire him. This is a technique to motivate good people, not magic pixy dust to turn idiots into star employees.
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Stephanie Barr 4 years ago
Totally used this when I was writing up the documentation for an overworked project. No one had time to talk to me or tell me how things worked, needed for the documentation, so I made it up and gave it to them to look over. Well, they had plenty of time to correct me...
Julie C Rose 4 years ago
Don’t try this with translators. Correcting shitty translations is a PITA and we tend to hate it.
#19
"The Wally Reflector"
Thanks to Dilbert-man Scott Adams, I learned the Wally Reflector at a young age. It's very simple. If someone tries to pawn their work off on you, ask them to do something for you first related to said task. 9 times out of 10 they'll leave and try to find someone else.
"Hey can you finish this report for me? I'm going on vacation and want to leave a little early to beat traffic to the airport."
"Sure, I'd love to help! But, could you possibly send me a quick email with a bulletpoint list of what needs to be in the report, just so I don't miss anything?"
"Uhhhh, on second thought..."
WilvanderHeijden 4 years ago
Reality: "Great, thanks buddy, sure I'll get on it right away. You'll have that mail in the next 20 minutes." And next you see them running for the door to catch their plane.
Zophra 4 years ago
Send an email asking for the bullet points. Then you have concrete "proof" if it was never sent and can be used if higher ups get involved. Firm believer in saving emails, making emails, etc.
Load More Replies... Just JoLynn 4 years ago
Me too, it's simple, direct and can't be confused as a yes.
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Patrick McKemie 4 years ago
Crappy advice for crappy people from a crappy excuse of a human being
Beans 4 years ago
I mean the guy is a jerk (look it up) but it doesn't invalidate that he had some good ideas once.
Load More Replies... Guido Pisano 4 years ago
or procrastinate - can you do X for me - not now (or ask me next week because I'm busy) 99% wont ask a second time
#20
Nod and agree and move the fuck on. If someone with a strong/difficult personality is demanding you do/try ____, (and you don’t want to but know they’ll argue) just agree and move the fuck on. No reason to argue lol makes it so much more simple. Ie: Barb: You really need to use this brand of diapers. They’re the best. I’ve had 22 kids Me: Oh awesome thanks for the tip! End of story. They never ask again, they just want to talk. To put their input in ANYTHING lol.
Cardboardpanda 4 years ago
Paraphrasing: Captain Kirk said to Spok "How do you deal with feeble minded, arrogant people?" Spok replied "That's easy, I just agree with them" Kirk responded "That's ridiculous" Spok concluded "Yes, you're absolutely right"
BetweenTheCracks 4 years ago
Just saw an exchange exactly like this on "Brooklyn Nine-Nine". Boyle, of course, was in the Spock role.
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Raven DeathShade 4 years ago
Not impossible, if they've been giving birth since 18 or so, and every 2 years having twins. My mom had singles every other year since she was 19, and she has 11.
Load More Replies... Pumpkin Spice 4 years ago
....I'm sorry to anybody I've ever done this to. I'm trying to help.....I didn't know I was being an AH....
Adam Hendron 4 years ago
The tip and the example are not congruent. Go with the example; acknowledge the suggestion without committing to following it. If you actually agree with a suggestion, some people will hold you to it and tell others that you are in league. The implications can be dire.
Eucritta 4 years ago
Doesn't work with some. I get a lot of advice about my health, since it's visibly bad. I usually just nod & say thanks and let it go. But some will recognize the gambit & a few of those take it amiss.
Shine Caramia 4 years ago
Also useful: "I'll think about it." Look! You thought about it! You've completed the obligation!
Arctic Fox Lover 4 years ago
So when they say "strong/difficult personality" do they mean "strong = difficult" or "strong or difficult"?
#21
A therapist told me that anger is a secondary emotion and should be treated like a traffic light, you should stop at yellow before jumping to red. Ask yourself what was the first thing come to your mind triggered you is it being ignored, feeling trapped, unheard, insecure etc... Because your first thought is what you actually feel your anger comes last.
I'm a calm natured person rarely get angry, this advice helped me to identify my weaknesses and anxiety. You can apply this to any emotion not just anger.
BorPand8 4 years ago
I dunno, whenever I meet someone who denies that anger is a "real" emotion I hear that as "I am extremely passive-aggressive. You should run away now." I'm not saying you should immediately act out your anger, but you should be able to feel it and acknowledge that it's real.
Deborah B 4 years ago
Anger is real, but we feel it because we felt something else first that made us angry. Betrayed, disrespected, embarassed, afraid, ignored. If you identify and name the emotional trigger, you can be more constructive in how you deal with your emotions.
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Donkey boi 4 years ago
I don't understand why anger is always considered a bad thing. I've done some of my best work when I'm angry. Anger is a fuel like a compressed gas, use it or the pressure gets too much and then you cannot control it.
Josy Bannon 4 years ago
I once red somewhere that anger or aggression is disguised sadness. I tried to be more passionate when someone is angry ever since.
Raven DeathShade 4 years ago
As someone with anger issues, that may very well be so.
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Moannnaaaa 4 years ago
Totally! I had to read it a bunch of times and gave up
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Markus Holstein 4 years ago
The problem is, when I'm angry I don't usually care for such methods. Hulk doesn't analyse the underlying problem that leads to his anger. Hulk smash!
HardTruths 4 years ago
Oh, this sounds like a very powerful tip! I think many of us skip the 'yellow' and fall into red (rage).
CarlaMike Wreay 3 years ago
Acknowledging them and identifying their frustration and then Giving yourself space/time to take a deep breath before responding really helps
John Smith 4 years ago
As you age, you'll not have the energy for it anymore...and other coworkers that still get angry seem low IQ/EQ, it's just part of this job. The 3 angry ones left, btw.
#22
Whenever my toddler refuses to do something, I start doing it. Then they get all angry cause they wanna do it. Idiots
opinionated biatch 4 years ago
husbands are like that too when it comes to jobs around the house - just ask where the screw gun or nails are :D
lazy panda 4 years ago
I do this to my husband ALL the time. Works like a charm!
Load More Replies... Adam Hendron 4 years ago
Idiots? No, just toddlers. ...unless you're trying to raise a sociopath.
#23
Don't know what to say but want to keep the conversation going?
Repeat the last phrase of the last thing the person said as a question.
Eg: As a question?
Yes. As a question. Raise your voice so it's clear that you want them to go on.
Katchen 4 years ago
This is how I show my six-year-old I’m interested in what he’s telling me.
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Guido Pisano 4 years ago
I knew a guy that repeated last word of every your sentence.Was terrifing.
#24
Cunningham's Law, the best way to get an answer on the internet is to post the question with a misspelling, anal people will be drawn to correct and mock you and one will invariably have the answer you're looking for.
Eppe 4 years ago
The law says to post a wrong answer, not a misspelling in the question. And I have hereby proven the law. Well done!
DUN DUN 4 years ago
One problem. SOCIAL ANXIETY. It will take a lot of courage to ask the question in public. Add the mockery? Nope.
#25
Give young kids the illusion they are making a decision to do something that you really want them to do.
Kid won’t eat their carrots and wants dessert now? You say to them do you want to eat your carrots first and then dessert? Or would you like to save your dessert for tomorrow and eat your carrots now?
WilvanderHeijden 4 years ago (edited)
Kid: "I want to save the carrots for tomorrow and have dessert now, thank you."
Sue Hazlewood 4 years ago
Okay, you have the desert and I will have the dessert LOL
Load More Replies... Katchen 4 years ago
Kids above 5 can start to understand the concept of obligation and responsibility, though. While they see that if they want dessert, they have to eat the carrots, this still gives them some control and works better than commanding them. At least in my house with two kids above 5, that is.
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Sunshine Sunshine 4 years ago
You don't know my kids. They're the true masters of psychological manipulation.
marie elle 4 years ago
Aha! And here I am, rather a slow type, with three super smarties (2,5,7)who ask: mommy, do you want to the garden with me or push me on the swing? Help us make Palatschinken/pancakes or lentils and you grind the carrots... Haha
Robyn Denton 4 years ago
Think about the choices you give them. Don't ever give them a choice you don't want them to have. Always make all choices things you actually want them to do.
Cathy Scriven-Williams 4 years ago
What you actually do is give them carrots and broccoli and ask which one they're going to eat first. Works on adults too
Mars Talcott 4 years ago
I guess I got lucky with my kids because they loved eating their fruits and veggies as children. There was never a battle, no need to bargain with them, or having to use Jedi mind tricks. I think part of their love for fruit/veggies came from me making homemade baby food. My mom taught me how to make and jar food for all stages of a baby's development. It not only saved a ton of money but guaranteed that what my kids were eating was fresh, healthy, and preservative free. My oldest is 21 and my youngest is nearly 18 and they still prefer fresh fruit and veggies over processed foods.
#26
When you want/need something from someone, ask them for help with it. Rather than "hey can you do this for me?", say "hey can you help me with this?" People are more inclined to be helpful than to just take on the task for you
WilvanderHeijden 4 years ago
But when you've been around long enough, you know that as soon as you start to help, the other party suddenly has things to do elsewhere so you end up doing their work for them. Best way to avoid this is saying that you have some worked lined up that can't wait, but if they start now, you'll come back to them to help them finish.
Wednesday 4 years ago
I thought this only applied to moving house... but I have been wrong before.
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Raven DeathShade 4 years ago
My family has a running joke. "Helping" means "doing their job for them and hoping they learn something in the process".
Amanda Hunter 4 years ago
Like a friend asked if I'd like to go to the Vet with her and her pet. What she actually meant was would I drive 25 minutes the other direction to pick her up, drive past my house again, then another 25 minutes to the vet, hang around then do it all in reverse.
John Smith 4 years ago
I helped them with something and they immediately walked away, over to another thing to do, leaving me to do it alone, I almost stopped and walked away but didn't want to be rude
#27
You can give a person talking on their phone an object and they will most likely take it because they are focused on the call. I regularly hand people empty plates, most of the time they just keep talking and don't notice what I'm doing.
Moannnaaaa 4 years ago
People aslo fidget on small things when talking to someone on the phone.
Sasy 4 years ago
the bill ? this would be hilarious if it works, someone is rude enough to be on the phone when on a date or having a lunch together etc, ask for the bill and then pass it to the person on the phone and get up and leave :D (I pay my own way, but I still think this would be an awesome test)
Mark Howell 4 years ago
Someone handed Jef Bezos a marital aid. The results, the design of his new rocket. ;o)
#28
Whenever I’m feeling nervous or anxious about something I just tell myself how excited I am to do it and trick myself into actually calming down. Works well for presentations
Raluca Rotaru 4 years ago
nervousness and excitement feel exactly the same way in the body. it's all about how you frame it in your mind
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Beans 4 years ago
The trick I do is to think about being home after stressing thing. So like, I gotta go doctor/accountant/test or whatever.... instead of focusing on the thing giving me anxiety I think, 'soon i'll be home and can sit and relax and do the x thing I like, yay!' Sometimes i will focus on the nice thing after, like a show I wanna watch or a movie or an especially nice lunch or dinner I made myself. Focusing on 'this will soon be over and I'll go back to fun thing' helps me.
Eglė Bukauskaitė 3 years ago
War is happening for a month 600 km from me. I'm gonna take first aid class! Kinda works, not gonna lie. Probably not for those people who are 600 km closer however...
Hphizzle 4 years ago
My trick for presentations is that I pretended to talk to one person in the audience or imagine I’m just talking to a friend. Works like a charm and both the audience and I are comfortable. If I make a mistake, I can easily laugh at myself and move on. Audiences only get uncomfortable when the speaker does.
Adrían Towers 4 years ago
Very similar sensations, you were probably just existed in the first place
#29
If you want someone to like you, ask them questions about themselves.
WilvanderHeijden 4 years ago
Doubt, I'd feel like you're interrogating me. And I'm sure I'm not the only one.
HardTruths 4 years ago (edited)
Many pp with 'yellow' colour profiles in DISC personality tests tend to talk a lot when asked abt themselves. 'Blue' folks may not like to share too much. 'Green' folks may answer politely but find the attention a bit uncomfortable, and try to divert attention away. 'Red' folks may give short answers before moving to ask what they want to know.
Celena Camps 4 years ago
I am a social worker and i use this trick to get people talking . I also tell my kids this trick also
Mo Poppins 4 years ago
But if they’re shame-based people, they’re secretive about the mot mundane things, assuming you’ll judge them. Because I’ve always been comfortable in my skin, and thus honest & transparent about myself, I notice just how many people consider what I think are normal, human experiences to be “private.”
Lisa Hall 4 years ago
People typically love to talk about themselves. Asking them about something they're wearing and complimenting on it can break the ice and then you can ask them questions like, How has your day been? Keeping the focus on them, makes them feel more at ease. Those of you who are jumping to the idea that it's an interrogation makes me feel sad. Maybe you are introverts and if so, in that case, you can just put your earphones in and look at your phone. =)
hyj (she, her) 3 years ago
It's important to keep it appropriate to the situation. Watch for clues and don't push in any way. Friendly, sincere interactions can be as simple as chatting about the weather or asking their pet's name. There are so many people who are lonely who appreciate someone caring enough to take the time to talk a bit.
Michelle Otto 4 years ago
I really don't like asking people questions. I don't even ask "how are you?" because what if the answer is not "fine" and the conversation continues past the necessary? Nah. Nope. No Thanks.
#30
If you want someone to be nicer to you, compliment them behind their back. If they find out they'll perceive you as nicer as most people say bad things behind other's backs. Either way if they act shitty towards you they seem like the bad guy, and because its behind their back it doesn't look like ass-kissing
Caro Caro 4 years ago (edited)
No way. Nicer??? I don't feel the need to be everybody's friend or that they should all like me. Why is this person not nice? who cares.
Ellie Rosser 4 years ago
The point started with the statement that IF you want someone to be nicer to you. So if you don't the just move on.
Load More Replies... hyj (she, her) 3 years ago
Whether they find out or not, it shows others what kindness and respect looks like, and shows you're a person who sees the good in other people. Most of all, don't do it to get anything out of it. We need more positive, caring people in this world.
Raven DeathShade 4 years ago
I go with the good old-fashioned Southern "Bless your heart."
Load More Replies... #31
I once went to training for handling media interviews. Something they described and demonstrated is how reporters can make you look bad in an interview. They recorded a video of me answering a question by a "reporter". The question was a bit sneaky in that the first part of the question seemed tame but took an evil turn right at the end...something like "Your company has a great philanthropic arm which supports many good causes including environmental efforts. How would they feel about the waste your putting into the waters at your Colfax plant?" They recorded the interview typical style where you can see the back of the interviewer but only see my face and used a separate camera for the interviewer. I thought I'd done pretty well and followed the training, but when we looked at the recording as an edited piece I looked bad because I smiled when he talked about the wastewater part. Definitely evil genius look. I didn't even realize I'd done it and I wondered why I smiled? Then they showed me the reverse angle (that was edited out). Just as he was speaking the shitty part of the question the reporter intentionally smiled, and psychologically we are trained to smile back when someone smiles at us. It was an amazing lesson.
#32
Ignoring annoying people makes them less annoying
Al Jameson 4 years ago
That's ... the point. The person *isn't* annoying. Your *reaction* to the person is annoyance. Change your reaction, change your experience.
Load More Replies... #33
This is going to sound obvious but it honestly didn't click for me until after high school. **People will like you if you're nice to them and genuine.** Also people like when you show vulnerability and weakness. Sadly up through high school I thought showing weakness was bad and it was more important to show strength than kindness. It was a miserable time and those habits took a long time to break.
An Co 4 years ago
Part of the problem is that High school itself is a special case. 1) Normally people group together based on some common interest or ability. But High School groups people by their PARENT'S choices (job, where to live, etc.) Then you are randomly grouped within that. 2) The normal rules are relaxed and troublemakers are given huge leeway. Things that get the cops called in the rest of your life get totally ignored by the authorities, not believed, or best case scenario, a stern talking too. 3) People themselves are by definition, less mature. Depending on your high school, being nice, genuine, showing vulnerability/weakness may not have worked.
infinite upvote 4 years ago
Yeah, most of my bullying in high school was based in homophobia. Being nice didn't change things too much
Load More Replies... #34
If someone insults you, either own it or pretend you don’t understand. They can’t get you on something you admit to and if they have to explain it, it loses all its impact.
#35
Door in the face technique
Basically, someone who would have said no to a certain request if you asked it initially, is more likely to say yes to that request if you FIRST ask for something so big that you KNOW they'll say no, and then the thing you actually want seems reasonable by comparison when you ask it afterward
M K Shaw 4 years ago
Child wants a kitten. 'Can I get a pony?' 'NO.' ' Well, then can I get a kitten?...'
Witchling 4 years ago
The complimentary technique is Foot In Door. That's where you convince someone to do something small and insignificant. Then you upgrade. Small post card in the window becomes a sheet of paper. Then a poster. Next thing ya know there's a billboard. I learned Foot in Door and Door in Face as sales techniques and they both work extremely well.... if you use the right one with the right person!! And though I learned them as sales techniques they can be used in many non-sales related ways.
#36
If you want people to like you, ask them for small favours they can easily do for you.
Everyone likes to feel useful even if they don't realize it.
WilvanderHeijden 4 years ago
I love how people generalise things. "Everyone likes to feel useful even if they don't realize it". Hell, no. I'm fully aware of the fact that I like to be left alone and most of the time have no desire to be useful to anyone.
Laura kelly 4 years ago
Even animals? Even plants? I don't like people much, but I love to feed animals and take care of plants. How can a person live not caring about anything? I think you're wrong about yourself.
Load More Replies... HardTruths 4 years ago
Oh, I thought it's the other way round. Do others small favours. I get irritated by people who keep asking me to do little things for them. I mean, do it yourself!
Ellie Rosser 4 years ago
Nope, psychologically once someone has done you a favor they view you in a more positive light. Its as if they have become "invested" in you and so see you as one of their own assets.
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#37
Silence as a conversational/interrogation tool.
People will rush to fill the void.
HardTruths 4 years ago
Not with introverts. We thrive on silence. Only extroverts fall over themselves trying to fill silent gaps in conversations.
Bexxxxx 4 years ago
Not true. I’m an introvert with anxiety and I’ll just babble about the weather or something superficial if someone’s doing the awkward silence thing
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#38
To avoid Canadian standoffs when you and another person are walking towards each other in a hallway, square up your shoulders and tilt your head in the direction you plan on going. The other person will move out of the way 9 times out of 10
#39
If someone who you don’t like is talking to you just keep staring at their forehead
WilvanderHeijden 4 years ago
Staring at their upper lip works better. They get insecure because they think that you see something that makes them look foolish. "Have I got something stuck between my teeth? Is there a booger hanging from my nose?"
#40
If you want to be involved in any work environment, or feel like an insider during work, you gotta greet everyone you meet right away. If you missed them, turn around, go back, and say something like "sorry, I didn't catch your name. I'm ____." If you don't have time, then take the next chance, even if it's just a "hi" or a wave. People will see you as assertive and approachable. It doesn't really matter if you're introverted and don't speak to them for the rest of the day or whatever. It kills most of the awkwardness associated with being social with people you may or may not know. Plus, it sets you up for healthy teamwork
John C 4 years ago
This is 100% accurate. I'm definitely an introvert, but a quick "good morning!" in the hallway, or at the minimum a genuine smile, goes a long way. It's especially hard for me to greet newcomers to our office but after forcing myself to get over that social hump, I'm glad I did.
#41
The fastest way to get the information you want isn't to ask, it's make an incorrect statement. People can't help but correct others. Seriously works so well.
WilvanderHeijden 4 years ago
The fastest way to get the information you want is to look it up yourself and check it with other sources.
#42
People are more likely to believe something you tell them if it's self depreciating. You can make up some sort of lie but if you add something negative about yourself in it it sounds more believable.
AdamKingXV 4 years ago
"I didn't go to your party because I didn't want to." Or "I didn't go to your party because I had to do laundry after shutting my pants."
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Nikki Sevven 4 years ago
English is a difficult language. It's actually self-deprecating. Depreciating means losing value, while self-deprecating means to be humorously critical of oneself.
Tom Jacobs 4 years ago
This would explain why so many people have taken my overuse of self-deprecating jokes as being factual... awkward...
#43
When walking through a crowd don’t look at the People in front of you. Instead look past them where you are trying to go and most people will make room without noticing it.
Miss Cris 4 years ago
It isn't true. There's a race in my city, dancers against runners, where they have to run through the most crowded street. Runners tend to go as it's described above while dancers are looking for free spaces and what people do, also interacting with them. Every year all dancers arrive at least fifteen minutes before the first runner.
#44
If you need an answer, don't leave the question open-ended.
This hell-site is full of comments like "HuRr DuRR maH giRLfriENd cAn'T dECIde WhEre to EAT!"
Don't ask, "What do you want for dinner tonight?"
Ask, "You feel like pizza or burgers tonight?"
Guido Pisano 4 years ago
my wife asks me what I want for dinner then tells me that I am wrong...
Cardboardpanda 4 years ago
Ha! Love this. Unless it's a running joke, potentially it's a trick question, she doesn't want to know what you want for dinner, she wants you to ask her. You could reply "I dunno honey, what are you in the mood for?"
Load More Replies... #45
Visualizing yourself doing something properly can be better than actually practicing the thing. There was a study conducted on a basketball team. Group A practiced shooting free throws. Group B visualized themselves shooting free throws. Group C visualize for half the time then shot for half the time. Group C improved the most. Then group B. Group A was last.
WilvanderHeijden 4 years ago
I've been visualising my self losing weight for 3 months now. Guess what....
SlartyBlartFast 4 years ago
I've been visualizing myself growing my hair long for oh 10-15 years now, yet it reaches shoulder length and it's like it DIES right there. Can't grow any longer :D
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#46
Paying someone a compliment before a difficult conversation or fight. Specifically, one tied to the value in your opinion of them. For example: "I really appreciate the mature, level headed way you handled yourself in our last discussion" or "Your patience and understanding in situations like this is something I really admire about you" It's the upgraded, more subtle version of the "thank you for your understanding" line you see in customer service a lot. The "I" and "Me" pronouns are important, as it changes a generic compliment into an opinion or feeling you have about them. It sets a subconscious goal for the person that they will often try to live up to. It's like the subconscious goes "Why yes! I am those things, let me prove that you're right!" but also adds a little weight that you're opinion of them will decrease if they don't. Sometimes I feel bad for using it, because it's almost too manipulative. (Especially if I'm lying about that opinion)
Jaime Higgins 4 years ago
I think most people are awake to these tricks. If you're going to have an argument or fight or "difficult conversation" with me, get into it straight away without the BS
Demi Zwaan 4 years ago
When my boss starts my annual review with a compliment like that, I know it's bullshit and there's going to be trouble. Just be honest and skip the bullshit. Tell me what's wrong, how you think I should improve and lets carry on. Obviously I won't change, but lets all pretend I do until next year. (My only bad thing in a review is always 'you should celebrate your successes more'... Dude, I'm 45, I'm an introvert, I never did that, it's not going to change now)
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Patrick McKemie 4 years ago
I actually learned to hate a supervisor and his fake compliments. I generally try to get along, but this was just manipulation at best. I think he once tried to give a real compliment and I brushed it off because his compliments meant nothing to me.
WilvanderHeijden 4 years ago
Dutch: "I don't care about your opinion about me. Your report sucks and here are the reasons why. Want a cup of coffee?"
#47
When talking to someone I say “I’ll let you go” when I want to finish the conversation. This works tens times better then “I have to go”.
digitalin 4 years ago
It took me way too long to understand that "I'll let you go" meant "I have to go." Before then, I thought it meant "I'm concerned about taking up too much of your time" and I would usually respond "Nah, I've got tons of time! *continues conversation*". So it took me a while, but now I can take a hint.
#48
When my three sons were pretty young, think Irish twins but more like triplets, when they would tell a fib their faces would give it away. Besides the eyes and the expression on their little faces, their little foreheads would wrinkle up from their eyes getting so big when they’d fib. Their eye brows would go up really high on their foreheads and then wrinkles would show. They were all really cute with their tells. So, one day I told my sons, “I know you’re lying because your forehead lights up.” Literally, their wrinkled little foreheads is what I meant. But they were 3, 2, and 1. In an attempt to conceal their little white lies as an attempt to outsmart their momma, they began to cover their foreheads. If I couldn’t see their foreheads I wouldn’t see the lit up forehead after all. Then after a few times of this happening the three boys got so confused about my magic abilities to see what they were so cleverly hiding. What’s funny, now that their grown men they still have the same tells when they try to keep the whole truth to me and still they don’t get why I always know when one isn’t being honest.
#49
"Kill 'em with kindness." Wew lad nothing eats away at your enemies like that. Short, sweet, simple, and confident does the trick. You could get into a massive argument for hours, fight, cuss, spit, punch, kick. Nothing will really burn them at the core quite as much as being nice to them. I believe it is a psychological trick because they usually don't expect it. They know you're enemies, and it throws them into a loop and off-guard. I bumped into my old boss recently. He had absolutely royally screwed me over before I quit, stabbed me square in the back to protect his own hide. I gave him this huge smile, said "Hey [name], good to see you!" He gave a weird frown and returned "Hi... Uh... How have you been?" "Better than ever! How about you?" "Uh... Fine." He made an obvious effort to keep walking and avoid a conversation. I bumped into him again before I left the place we were at and gave him a nod, nice smile, and the "three finger wave" sort of like a salute. His face said it all... I hate that guy, why is he happy? Note: I want to clarify that this isn't effective in all scenarios, and going out of your way to rub false kindness into someone's face negates it altogether.
WhatEvenIsLife 4 years ago
I do this all the time at work. Sometimes I have to deal with super irate people (I work in legal). It almost always works. Even when it doesn't and the other person continues to be angry, you at least feel good about yourself for not rising to their bait. Or stooping to their level - whichever.
Congele 3 years ago (edited)
Okay, big story time (and my first comment here): I did this when bumping into someone who was my litteral best friend for years, then completely blocked me from everywhere suddenly, specifically on a day we had plans to meet up. Turns out to be the same day I learned of my dad's passing in a bike accident (learned the news late in the evening, I was already in a pretty bad mental place when I learned for my dad). Well, when I finally got to bump into him at a big event, he was with his family and boyfriend. I come up to him, big smile and joyful tone, and say "Hey there, how's it going? Is life treating you well?" He went from looking very uneasy from bumping into me, to really confused. Then replied "Hum yeah, my life is going good". To which I replied, while removing my sunglasses to look him dead in the eye "Cool, happy to hear that your life's great; I just had to see a psychologist because of you". I'll forever remember how his expression changed and the shock on his face.
Raven DeathShade 4 years ago
Isn't there a Bible verse about that? Something along the lines of "when evil people hurt you, be kind to them. Your kindness will rankle and burn within them and give cause them more suffering than they ever caused you" or something.
#50
Getting though a job interview, when I first graduated I really struggled, had a couple of rejections and picked up a self help book. The first tip was just smile. They already think you're qualified, the interview is to check you're going to fit in. I didn't have time to read any further so I felt completely unprepared. The entire interview was all jokes and laughter and I got the job. It was for a creative role so most of these kinds of jobs don't do any weird testing or have any formal questioning or metrics.
Demi Zwaan 4 years ago
This part is the most important: "They already think you're qualified, the interview is to check you're going to fit in." Plenty of people applied and they want to talk to you! That means your qualifications are good enough, on paper, and they just want to check a) you didn't lie about it and b) you'd be a good fit for the team/company. I assume you didn't lie, so you just have to be yourself and see if that fits. Don't try to act differently, because you want the company to fit for you as well and you won't know if they do if you don't act like yourself.
SlartyBlartFast 4 years ago
Learn to smile with your eyes, coz I ain't taking my mask off if we are in the same room!
#51
Ask an employee to do something you know they won't want to do, like move to another station? Or trying to get kids to do something? Give them a choice, where you are ok with either option. That gives them control. Everyone wants some control over their lives. This gives it to them.
#52
I find that when I ask someone if they’d like to be a rewards member, they’re more civil with me if I say, “would you like to be a rewards member or no?” I figure that by saying no at the end I’m insinuating that is is completely fine to say no I don’t want to be. I use this on everyone. Ive had customers that I see get short with other cashiers when they ask them this, I then ask them my way whenever I’m cashiering and they’re completely civil about it. I almost always get from these same people, “no thanks not today.” I guess some people view this questions as nuisance because in their mind they feel like they’re asked this every time at a lot of stores.
#53
Tell someone to quickly pick a number between 1-10. The number 7 is picked an overwhelming amount of the time. I don't know why.
Demi Zwaan 4 years ago
If this is true, it's probably because 7 is seen as a lucky number in some cultures.
Cactus McCoy 4 years ago
2/3 up. It is above the middle but not too high to be an "extreme " choice.
Gerard Neaux 4 years ago
17 is called the least random number, and it's most picked up to 20. This is because most people asked to pick randomly will eliminate the even numbers (which don't feel random), then they will eliminate numbers associated with symbolism, and for various psychological reasons also eliminate other numbers. This is a known phenomenon. Probably there's something similar with 7 as well.
#54
Holding something warm creates positive feelings toward someone you just met, and something cold creates negative feelings. Always meet someone at a coffee shop.
WilvanderHeijden 4 years ago
In the Netherlands it's not a good idea to set up business meetings in a coffee shop.
Enamelcamel 4 years ago
"Coffee Shop" means something different in Amsterdam ... they might ALSO sell coffee, but it ain't the main product!
Load More Replies... #55
Want someone to tell you a secret? Just start guessing out loud. People have the tendency to correct you. I’ve had people revealing their full passwords to me starting off by saying “you look like someone that would put an exclamation mark at the end of their password”. No? “Well then it’s probably your birth date”. And so on.
Guido Pisano 4 years ago
I will be suspicious if someone starts to ask questions on my password
WilvanderHeijden 4 years ago
I guess that the one who wrote this only interacts with people who would put out a fire with gasoline.
brukernavn340 4 years ago
Technically, it could work (I think), if the fire's not too big, and the gasoline is fairly cold.
Load More Replies... HardTruths 4 years ago
Oh, like with Hagrid in the Philosopher's Stone. Make certain assertions, and watch him give out details correcting them.
#56
If you want to make a lie sound believable, say something embarrassing about yourself with it.
WilvanderHeijden 4 years ago
So if someone says something embarrassing about themselves, they are lying.
Raven DeathShade 4 years ago (edited)
I'm so sorry I missed work today, I lost control of my goose and he bit a chunk out of my shirt, so I had to change, then I realized I had no clean shirts because I'm bad at keeping track of my laundry.
#57
When you ask for something, give a reason. Any reason. Any reason at all.
In the study that popularized this idea, it was people asking to cut in line for a xerox machine (copier). They would literally say "Can I cut you in line?" But sometimes they would also say "I'm in a rush" (a valid reason to cut in line) and sometimes they would instead say "I need to make copies."
Except, it's a copy machine. Everyone is there to make copies.
What they found is that, when the request isn't high-effort, a terrible reason (Langer called it "placebic" information) is just as effective as a good reason. Worst case is just that it's a high-effort ask, and in those situations it makes no difference so might as well ask.
Demi Zwaan 4 years ago
These kind of tips are just extroverts taking advantage of shy and/or introvert people, who just don't feel comfortable calling them out on their bullshit.
#58
When you play Rock, Paper, Scissors, ask your opponent something that really confuses them. Then continue on. There's a super high chance they'll pick scissors. I've used it on my literal twin, and it still works. That's how you know it works.
PattonPawter 4 years ago
Could I have an explanation? Like why does asking them something confusing make them more likely to pick scissors?
Gerard Neaux 4 years ago
Maybe the pressure of dissonance from confusion in their head is like a pair of scissors, the other two elements being inert.
Load More Replies... #59
Humans have a tendency to take or give things if you put your hand out while talking to them. Really common in sales or just messing with friends. In sales i often hand the person the item im selling and most often they take it without even realizing it. More likely to buy it too. Ive chatted with a friend and put my hand out and he just gave me his phone. 5 minutes late hes wandering where his phone is.
#60
I don't remember the specifics but if there's a tense situation between you and another person, eat something. Seeing you eat, something that people/animals only do when they're relaxed and feeling unthreatened, will essentially mentally cue yourself AND the other person to relax a little more. Don't know how true it is but it makes sense!
#61
When you're walking down the sidewalk and someone is walking in the other direction look over their shoulder at something in the distance and they will usually move out of your way.
#62
Fake it till you make it. When you're having a bad day, just acting happy makes you feel happy. Especially around other people. When they notice your mood they'd most likely brighten up too and, there you go.
Riley Quinn 4 years ago
When I'm having a bad day and simply can't snap out of it, I turn to YouTube comedy stand up videos to get me laughing. Sometimes just a 5-minute routine will suffice, and the remainder of the day goes smoothly.
#64
My brothers stopped tickling me if I didn’t laugh.
Raven DeathShade 4 years ago
Tell them not to tickle you. When that fails, yell at them. When that fails, yeet them across the room. Worked for me. One solid kick to the gut from one side of the room to another effectively ended all tickling attempts.
Load More Replies... #65
Not sure if it is a trick, but when a woman asks me how to guess how old she is I subtract 10 yrs from what I really think. Amazed how well it works.
Raven DeathShade 4 years ago
That reminds me of when I was a kid. I was talking to this lady who was complaining loudly because she's "old and tired". I responded with: "How are you old? Aren't you like 25?" She thanked me and gave me a hug XD.
Ellie Rosser 4 years ago
Better answer "I don't really play that sort of guessing game, but you look great whatever your age is."
Jo Johannsen 4 years ago
I make a point of not guessing age, because I am NEVER even in the ballpark and know it's not going to turn out well.
Sheila Stamey 4 years ago
And I know it's BS, but when she says whatever age, as long as it's older than you say, go "no way!!!"
Dave van Es 4 years ago
When talking to a woman, and older wonab (if you don't know they are mother and daughter), give them a younger age than you think, and say you're sisters right?
#66
Learning how to kickstart your own “hypnagogic hallucinations” to shut off your brain and quickly go to sleep. You basically force yourself to start visualizing the abstract imagery that your brain produces when you would normally start to drift off to sleep, and stop using the language part of your brain. It’s like kickstarting sleep instead of waiting for it to happen. As a long time insomniac from a family of insomniacs, this has been one of the most shockingly effective and potentially lifesaving mind hacks I have ever learned. Seriously, read up on it and give it a try.
Riley Quinn 4 years ago
I learned this when I was stricken by a disease that caused insomnia, something I'd never had experienced previously. The imagery my mind created was so intricate that I would exhaust myself trying to follow it. Another trick I learned was concentrating on numbers when I had words stuck on repeat in my head.
#67
If you use a word someone doesn't know, they'll usually just ignore the rest of the thing you said instead of admit that they don't understand you
mpilting 4 years ago
Actually, I used the word "anhedonia" in a group setting once. Everyone called me out on it (laughingly". I was forced to explain what it means. But you're you're probably right about that .most of the time.
Gerard Neaux 4 years ago
They might've called you out but I know that one. I bet other pandas do.
Load More Replies... #68
Whatever you're scared of doing is only going to last two seconds. Then you'll blink and it will be months later and you'll wonder why you were even worried. I figured this out in 8th grade before a presentation I was TERRIFIED of giving, and I think of that moment every time I'm nervous to do something and now I'm 28! Time flies. No point of worrying about it.
#69
If you play dumb successfully you can see people's true intentions and morals. I can't tell you how many times people have admitted some incredibly f*cuked to stuff to me because they thought I was too dumb to know right from wrong.
#70
Funny enough it came from Reddit. It’s that trick where when you’re talking to someone, and they reply with “what?” as if they didn’t hear you. Instead of repeating yourself, just keep staring at them without saying anything. Almost 99% of the time the person will then continue without you having to repeat yourself. Pretty awesome!
Helena Houzarová 4 years ago
My brain sometimes needs a few more seconds to understand the thing I just heard. I might blurt out a 'what' before the brain is done processing and analysing but realise what I heard a second later. I think this happens when I don't hear the statement properly, so my brain puts the garbled sounds in context, deduces what it was about, and gives me a revised answer.
Riley Quinn 4 years ago
Yes, that's how I react when my processing speed isn't up to par. It's like the "what" is being used to freeze time, allowing me those precious seconds to process the information.
Load More Replies... #71
As a kid, arguing with my brother: It is not! It is so! Is not! Is so! It. Is. SO!! It is not! Good, I agree. Blink, blink. It only worked once, and surprised me it did.
Raven DeathShade 4 years ago
My sister keeps doing this to me. She knows I don't think while arguing.
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#72
The book “Never Split The Difference” is full of great psychological techniques. One of my favorites is the email simply asking “Have you given up on this?” When someone stops responding to you (typically in a sales scenario, but applicable elsewhere), this simple email practically guarantees a response.
Demi Zwaan 4 years ago
What a strange question. I wouldn't know how to respond. I'm trying to find an example of where this question would make sense and I just don't know any.
Ellie Rosser 4 years ago
A bunch of emails about something you were thinking of buying. If you no longer want it then chances are you will just stop responding to the salesman's emails. This tip can (sometimes) restart the conversation and might give them the chance to give you new information that makes you change your mind and buy it. Or they might just say 'yes I have', in which case at least the salesman can stop wasting effort on you.
Load More Replies... WilvanderHeijden 4 years ago
General response: "Yes. You didn't notice that I haven't answered your last 3 emails?"
#73
Hmm so many good ones but being able to laugh I think was the most important, as going through some of the crap that I did it was learn to laugh or roll over and die, you’d be amazed at what a fucked up joke followed by a desperate chuckle can let you live through.
#74
If someone is yelling at you over the phone, just don't say anything. They are GOING to apologize.
SlartyBlartFast 4 years ago (edited)
or hang up? I am not anyone's punching bag, I don't have to listen to yelling. I will inform them I do not wish to continue being on the receiving end of whatever crap they are unloading on me and that I will hang up.
#75
I'm not sure if it works everywhere, but in the South (USA) people will be nicer to you if you use a Southern accent. Doesn't matter where they're from, it's very calming.
#76
When I was a kid, if I ever had to split candy with my little brother, I would split it, take the bigger piece and give my brother "the rest" because apparently getting the rest meant getting more in his mind.
#77
Always give a reason when you ask for something. Even the most stupid reason like in this example: You are in a line for the printer and you ask the guy infront of you ”Hey, mind if i go first i have to use the printer” This exact experiment has been done and you were succesful more often when you give that reason.
Ellie Rosser 4 years ago
Another tip-always read the other tips before giving a less clear example fo the exact same thing.
#78
I told my friend that I was doing this and he got mad. About 5 years ago I had a house that I would host parties at. As dumb young 20's aged people, we would smoke cigarettes. If I didn't have a lighter I would ask for one. Eventually, I decided to try something. I had a joke where I would snap my fingers and say "I wish I was the human torch or some shit." After the small giggle someone would offer a lighter. As I did it more often, I noticed that I wouldn't have to make the joke and someone would hand me a lighter. It got to a point where if I snapped my fingers my roommate would grab his pocket out of instinct. That's the story about how I Pavlov'd a few of my friends.
#79
Telling people that it drives you crazy when other people have dry lips and they in turn, subconsciously start licking their lips.
#80
Crying. I was extremly young, basically fresh out of the womb. People do all kind of shit when you cry. They even wipe your ass for you and give you food.
What do you think ?
Troux 4 years ago (edited)
Some Japanese workers use a technique called shisa kanko (check & call), which is basically just saying their small tasks and checkpoints aloud, which makes them more mindful of the task, leading to measurably fewer errors. Open door, read gauge, measure distance, green light on, signal to operator, flip switch, etc. Saying out loud makes you naturally more aware and in control.
Wandaluzt 4 years ago
Why, when copying peoples content from Reddit and selling adverts and tracking around it is more profitable. It's a clickbait site, it not here for anything of value.
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Effin Fred 4 years ago
90% of this is pure bullshit and only work for some personalities or situations
Troux 4 years ago (edited)
Some Japanese workers use a technique called shisa kanko (check & call), which is basically just saying their small tasks and checkpoints aloud, which makes them more mindful of the task, leading to measurably fewer errors. Open door, read gauge, measure distance, green light on, signal to operator, flip switch, etc. Saying out loud makes you naturally more aware and in control.
Wandaluzt 4 years ago
Why, when copying peoples content from Reddit and selling adverts and tracking around it is more profitable. It's a clickbait site, it not here for anything of value.
Load More Replies... Effin Fred 4 years ago
90% of this is pure bullshit and only work for some personalities or situations
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