2018 was all about diversity in the movies, film industries tried their best to include different ethnicities, races, body types, and sexual orientations. So for the first time, more people found themselves being a protagonist of a captivating Hollywood movie than ever before. But even though that sounds like a huge step towards an inclusive and diverse movie industry, there is still a long way to go. Nowadays, movies are filled with hilarious clichés that just don't make any sense, and there is no chance any of them would work in the real world, especially when it comes to professions. Imagine being a freelance photographer in New York, living in a huge apartment with a walk-in closet and going for dinner every single evening. If that was the case, you know that every employee at Bored Panda would be a New York resident by now. One Twitter user got so sick of these stupid clichés he Tweeted one and it quickly became a viral thread, scroll down to see if there's one about your profession!
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CSI Miami always had over the top tech and an unlimited budget . My favorite was the DNA field test that worked instantly .
Penelope can get your dog's vet's second cousin's owned properties in three seconds .
If I were a suburban housewife, I would devOUR EVERYTHING AND FEED THIS HUNGRY FLESH PRISON.
and the person carrying me only has one bag, never two, and when bag falls to ground after person is bumped into (by long lost love, handsome stranger, etc) there are always smashed eggs and tomatoes and never tampons and toilet paper.
She needs to get one of those reusable cloth bags with handles. Oh, but then she wouldn't meet the handsome stranger....
Load More Replies...As a non US resident, I've always wondered how americans put up with all the useless bags, while the rest of the world knows to put handles on them.
I'm not from US so I thought it was true that ALL groceries bags in US are made of paper with no handles. Imagine if one has to do 10 bags of shopping by him/herself 😆
Cuz brown grocery bags are SO practical. And only ONE is needed. (sarcasm). In real life, I'm a wreck when I come in the door with 5 plastic bags looped onto each arm and exhausted as hell.
YES !! What is this nonsense of a bag without handles ???!!! I always wondered if these are for real in the US ?
I thought this had to be with the US leading the way on bag recycling? No?
The tweeter has a point, but am I the only one who feels a sense of satisfaction at the time she posted her tweet?
As an Asian person, the handleless paper plastic bags always amaze me. We get plastic bags here. Paper bags was from the 70s
A Doctor? Wheeling a gurney? A spouse being allowed to leave the waiting room? WHAT SOURCERY IS THIS?!?! A parallel universe?
Hello, I'm the city of New York. I almost always get casted in a drama film where people fall from skyscrapers.
Switching bodies , time travel or waking up to your other life will work well .
Or the call ever too common "Call ME!" and never actually know the other persons name or phone number.
I would love to see a new take on this where the reporter just looks through the villains social media accounts and finds something incriminating from a decade ago.
I'm college student, after the bell that indicates that the college class period is I don't bother to finish my notes before either jetting out of the room like a bolt or waving down the pro, who totally answers my qustions. Mostly tho I just party. Its a good thing I don't also have a job.
Hello, I'm a child born disabled in a movie. I exist only so that my non-disabled parents, teachers and everyone I come in contact with can learn valuable life lessons and become more kind and accepting. I have no characteristics outside my disability.
There used to be a T,V. series about The Marine boot camp in which a locker opened and the D.I. stepped out fully dressed for the wake up call . That was bad a*s impressive .
Cops or no cops bankers are not allowed to give any information to any individual or entity without written consent from the account owner. For cops or any other entity to get any kind of information on an account that they are not the owner of will need a subpoena form the court. Which needs to be sent to banks main office where it will go thru banks legal department and information will be shared via mail back to requesting agency. All this will never happen over in a branch. If this happens in a branch and it comes to light not only banks can get fined and/or lose its banking license but individual providing such information can face fines and/or prison time. Just saying.
Every Sunday morning all seven of you curl up on and around the coutch in front of the TV wearing the exact same onsies...
Hello! I am a high school principal in a movie. I am a dull, boring killjoy who regularly abuses his/her students, humilliates newcomers or condones bullying without any repercusion -but somehow very concerned about school boards approval- and an enemy of any innovation or inspiration from students or staff. There is always the new teacher who questions my authority.
My mate is a sous chef in a posh kitchen and this is actually the reality.
Hello, I'm a spoiled daughter of the CEO with a fiance that is thinly veiled garbage. My father sends me to a small town to learn the true meaning of love and I slowly fall for a handsome small-town hunk with a child. I dramatically break off my engagement with my fiance and tell my dad I don't want his money and live happily ever after.
Plot twist: what if your small-town hunk wants his money?
Load More Replies...I have perfect hair in a complicated up-do (French twist if it's the 80s), held together with only one pin. I can remove that pin and my hair will gracefully fall in loose shining waves that I will slowly shake back and forth.
Hello, I'm a bank vault. The cash I hold is sitting out in full view on a rack of shelves for just anyone to take.
I'm a hero trapped in a mysterious dark place. I light a match an the whole place lights up like the Sahara at noon.
Hello, I'm a guy who just got in serious trouble for a misunderstanding that's easily explainable. I do not explain.
The thing that irritates me about romantic comedies is how you get the guy/girl and then split up over a misunderstanding but all is made good if you get to the airport in time .
Hello, I'm someone in a movie who has a minor crush on someone who seems to like me. But instead of talking to them, I panic and pretend I'm someone or something I'm not. Things will spiral out of control because obviously rather than admit to my mistake or talk to the person about what should be minor issues, I will go to greater and greater measures to keep up the lie. I am actually probably a terrible person to be in a relationship with, but when the secret comes out and my crush is justifiably upset and is about to leave the country, I will dramatically chase through an airport - where the bemused security officers will let me through because I'm clearly harmless - and confess my undying love, whereupon I will be forgiven and we live happily ever after.
Load More Replies...I am the nerdy but kinda cute guy in high school who is hopelessly in love with the most beautiful girl in the school. She is together with a equally beautiful jock and has a clique of mean girls around her. Shes nice, kinda dumb, nd ee go out on a dste because of a cruel joke of her guy. we click, she falls for me, then i dump her for my nerdy, but cute female friend or i take her as my beautiul but dumb girlfriend after teaching her a lesson of humility and kindness. After that, i knock her hunk of a boyfriend out and declare my love in front of a crowd.
hi, we were the couple who dated in a car at the beginning of the movie, we were the first victim of the serial murder/alien/mystical creature/deadly plaque/monster/devil/demon/beast
Where's the one about the token black guy getting killed 30 minutes into the start of the movie? And if he's in a Quentin Tarantino movie, he will have used the N-word more times than NWA did in their whole career before he buys the farm. If he's Samuel L. Jackson, he'll have uttered "m**********r" at least 15 times in the movie, or "motherfu----" if it's PG-13.
Yeah it's almost always black guys then sometimes after that any Asian will be next with her/his buddy white girl? But in recent movies I'm glad they change that thing to be fair.
Load More Replies...Hello, I am a gun in a movie. I never run out of bullets and when I hit the star it is always a nonfatal injury in the top of the right shoulder.
And I'm especially excited when I'm the fully automatic rifle the bad guys can't hit ANYTHING with, or the snub-nosed revolver that the good guy can use to administer the fatal shot from 100 yards away.
Load More Replies...Hello, I am the villain in a James Bond movie. I never just kill Bond, First I always reveal my evil scheme and then put him in some Rube Goldberg death trap.
Hello, I am a waiter in a busy bar or tavern. The main character will pull my arm and place an order. They will receive it five seconds later regardless of everyone else at the pub and the fact that they've just walked in.
Badass women kicking some serious butts wearing tight body suit and long ponytail, but none of the bad guys ever tries to use the same ponytail against her. Who ever tries to fight wearing ponytail or long hair? That's like invitation to get grabbed by that.
And all your opponents always wait patiently for you to finish off the baddie you're dealing with.
Load More Replies...We're a group of teenagers some place dark being threatened by something evil. We decide to split up, make out, and get killed.
Hello, I'm a cup of coffee or some other drink being sipped in a movie. But the jokes on you because you can tell by the way I'm being handled that I'm completely empty.
My parents was cuzins, and I got hitched at 14 to Jim Bob, and we has 8 young un's. I be 22 next week.
Load More Replies...Hello, I am a person of faith in a movie. I am typically a clueless idiot, a judgmental jerk, a money grubbing or sex crazed hypocrite or a psychopathic killer.
Unless I'm a practitioner of some religion other than Christianity. Then I'm wise and good and patient, and probably a dying old man who has words of wisdom for everyone.
Load More Replies...How about every annoying "we are a bunch of young - couldn't be whiter white and gorgeous looking practicers/residents/senior residents at a hospital where every woman wants to make out with the senior resident, and we don't give a f**k about anything else than f*****g in hospital robes, and discussing how f*****g each other has affected their relationships, all over the patient who does not give a f**k?"
Hello, i am a very smart and beautiful detective. i chase dangerous suspects with my high heels stilettos and i always look as if i Just stepped out of a beauty saloon. I rush into the office in the morning after an urgent call from my boss, miraculously with my hair done and my perfect makeup on.
I am married to my job, until my boss forces me to work with the new guy, who is an unprofessional idiot and only gets in my nerves, but with whom I will fall helplessly in love with after only a week or so after he shows me that I was missing the best in life by being too serious, and possibly saves me from a situation I probably have already dealt with before on my own.
Load More Replies...Hello, I am a Mexican. I am the hopeful illegal immigrant looking for the American dream, eager to work for you as a maid or gardener; if I am tatooed, I must be the drug dealer who wants to kill/kidnap you while you sleep. Oh I almost forgot: If I am a woman and part of the 'good guys' team, I am the spicy Latina with a whole lotta attitude and a big butt.
Why did I read that as "hopefully illegal immigrant"
Load More Replies...Hello, I'm Santa. I give gifts to the US first ignoring all the countries that begin Christmas day earlier.
Omg yes, as someone that comes from a country that celebrates Christmas on Christmas Eve, it always annoyed me as a kid when Santa started giving gifts on Christmas Day in American movies
Load More Replies...I miss one: the guy that shouts ’Let’s get the hell out of here’ in every action movie.
Hello, I'm a woman in a movie who just found a dead body. I will scream at the top of my lung. Hi, I'm her friend, a man in a movie who just found a dead body. I will look away in silence.
Quit screaming, Lady. They're dead, they can't hurt you.
Load More Replies...Hello, I am a graphic designer. When there is a looming worldwide disaster where time is if the essence, before the experts are dragged from their beds and brought in to solve it, I am given a week to produce a complex, high definition animation that can be perfectly synchronised to the off-the-cuff briefing the head of homeland security gives them.
Hi, I'm a woman being chased by a murderer. I fall, roll down a mountainside, swim through a river and run in shoes with a heel. In the end I still have makeupon, my outfit looks pretty good and my hair is a bit disheveled. Oh, yes, i shot the murderer with the gun he had that flew out of his hand during our struggle.
Hello. Im a problem child so my single mom sends me off to the country to go work on my estranged uncles farm where i will meet a problem horse bound to be sold. I will bond with this horse and halfway through i will tell my uncle that he doesnt understand some stupid teenage feelings about losing a crush or something only for him to tell me some massive pain he has experienced in his life that in no way compares to my silly issue. I end up being a model citizen
I m the lover in a romom and when i fall in and out of .ove or have to tell my love interest i am sorry, or i have a secret, i will never do this alone, but always with a crowd, even when i am not aware of it that i have one, and they will cheer me on or judge me or clap fervently when we kiss.
Hi there - I'm the flash light that every crime scene investigator uses to search for evidence instead of actually turning on a light. They like to use me even in the middle of the day when the sun is out.
Hi, I'm a police captain, and you're a sergeant. Nobody wants to partner with you because you're a loose cannon, you just cost the department thousands of dollars, and the commissioner's breathing down my neck.
Hello! I'm a car in a movie, you can use and drive me for quite sometime but when someone wants to murder you and you want us to get the hell out of there I'll be a useless car that suddenly can't start the engine. Hello! I'm a light bulb in a movie I'm always flickering so that the killer will be right by you.
And you can bet the villain is hiding in the back seat.
Load More Replies...Hello, I am the weather in a movie. I make sure the rain stays away until a woman is having a bad day and drops her shopping on the road or a couple need to kiss for the first time. I never blow my wind until someone is looking for something/someone, then I blow their hat to that exact location. Oh and I ALWAYS snow at Christmas.
I am a maid in a hotel, I find a dead person, I drop everything I had in my hands and scream as loud as I can... several time.
And I am the hotel manager. I hear you before you can even finish the scream and bolt upstairs. You explain in a few seconds and I call the police using the phone in the room. I don't mention who the person may be or where we are at.
Load More Replies...Hello, I'm the short girl. I will only show up when the hero needs show how nice he is by reaching something for me.
Hello, I'm the short chubby girl who never gets the guy. I hate those tall skinny b*tches!
Load More Replies...Thoroughly enjoyed all the great stories, from the article and all the Bored Pandas. Now, I set off for Hollywood, where I will have plenty of ideas for my new career as a screenwriter. So long, suckers! 😂😂
Hello, my mates and I are trying to stop the movie’s lead character from escaping somewhere. We get into a fist fight, and one by one, each of us gets instantly knocked out cold, if the lead hits us. If he pushes or shoves us, we fall to the floor, pass out and never get up again.
Hello. I'm a city building in a movie. My front is always empty so the main character can park RIGHT UP FRONT!
Hello, I'm a coffee cup in a tv show. I'm always in the shot, being sipped from, often during a fast and urgent conversation. So fast, so urgent in fact, that they neglect to fill me with coffee, lest I spill all over or cause continuity issues. In movies, there are bigger budgets, and people off camera often drinking actual coffee that top me off, so I feel more fulfilled in my role.
I'm a spaceship in the far future. I am always on a peaceful exploration/diplomatic mission, but am armed to the teeth and crewed by tactical experts. I never have any crash restraints on my bridge, or take-hold nooks in my miles of blank corridors, but nobody seems to be bothered. All external damage can be fixed from a console in engineering--unless something happens to the dilithium crystals, then we're doomed. Even after crash-landing, I'm still able to fly, because "the old girl" always has "something left in her."
I'm the bad guy who could get away with my crime scot-free if I'd just shoot the protagonist and be on my way, but oh no I just have to run my mouth - gloating and pontificating until the cops arrive and capture or kill me.
Hello, I’m a chef or baker in a movie. I am NEVER busy, I literally Have every ingredient under the sun and I cannot imagine checking temps. Gloves? Nope. Sani bucket? Nope. I am the executive and I do my own dishes. My baker/pastry is present in the evening to present dessert to each table. No one has ever done drugs in the bathroom. Oh and everything is pristine. Like brand new and shiny as f**k. My line cooks and servers aren’t yelling or crying. Oh! I forgot: everyone wears either whatever they want or once again pristine uniforms. Silverware roll ups appear from thin air
I’m Dwayne Johnson in a movie. I have a wife and two kids, to show what a loving family man I am, before I shoot 300 people.
Hello, I'm the girl in the group and next to the handsome one, the smart one, the sporty one, the black one, I am the girl one. Girl is my whole character.
If I'm in a kids show, I wear pink and like clothes, singing, dancing, acting, drawing, and scrapbooks, and I'm magically good at everything else because of these. I know nothing until the main character doesn't know things, then I know it from tv.
Load More Replies...Hello, I'm the only black person in this horror movie, so you know what's gonna happen..
God bless you, I am a pastor/reverend in a movie and I am in my sixties, partially bald, perpetually wise and never joke.I only appear at funerals, weddings, and at night in an otherwise empty church. My children are rebellious and I never spend time in an office.
Characters come in the cofee shop or restaurant, order food, table is covered with fresh food and drinks, but no one ever eats, they just talk and then leave. Someone brings ice-cream and leaves it on the table or just forgets it and starts loooong conversation. Put the damn ice-cream in the fridge first!
Hello, I'm a vampire in a movie. I am usually Count Dracula, and my two main phrases are "Bleh, bleh, bleh" and "I vant to suck your blood." I live in a casket and my lover is dead. I will die at the sight of sunlight, garlic, and steaks of wood. I am bloodthristy and will try my hardest to kill you, but a group of teens led by Buffy will kill me, and I will wither away into a pile of dust
I'm a ECG lead on a patient's chest lying on a hospital bed. Sometimes the doctors and nurses randomly attach my 3 colour leads which are white, red and black all over the patients body and the rhythm strip is beaping normally. Other times I flatline on the monitor and the doctor calls out to the nurse, "draw up 10 cc's of epinephrine," the nurses responds, "dialling up to 200kjs doctor" then the doc says, "clear" and pumps the patient's chest with an electrode paddle. The lifeless patient convulses and the nurse turns around and says to the doc, "he's in sinus rhythm"
Hello, I'm the male love interest in a romantic movie. I follow the female lead around and try to convince her to love me, even though she has clearly expressed her disinterest in me many times. I stalk her at her home, her place of work and anywhere she likes to hang out. I do things to gain her favour that most sane women would find creepy AF. At the end of the movie, I somehow win her over instead of gaining a restraining order and / or jail time.
I am a chief police and everytime I appear with my troops right after bruce lee, jackie chan, donnie yen or other HK films beaten up the villian. And I will ask my troops to make the arrest.
Hello, I am noble man in old England. I ride a horse and for any service from strangers I always happily throw them either one coin or the wholysack with all my money and the amount is always correct.
Hello I am an old movie and every woman is beautiful and works in a night club and sings and dances for a living. All the guys are mafia or detectives.
Hello, I'm the gorgeous southern biker babe who dramatically whips my head back and forth a couple times after removing my helmet. My voluminous blonde hair always comes cascading down into perfect waves, because I obviously don't sweat in my helmet after riding in the summer humidity, nor is the helmet heavy enough to defeat my extra-volume hairspray. My makeup is also always perfect.
Hello, I'm Good Guy's girlfriend in a fight scene. I stand around uselessly watching Good Guy and Bad Guy punch each other up. I tackle Bad Guy at a key moment when Good Guy is down, but then get knocked out cold for the rest of the scene by one punch. Meanwhile, Good Guy has been injured, headbutted and probably strangled but still manages to stay conscious enough to finish off Bad Guy.
Hello, I am a historian and archaeologist who devoted my entire life to a single historical event or person related to a lost treasure. I was very keen on the subject to get all the clues to the secret location but ever lacked wit, belief or both to get them all together and find the treasure. So I wrote and published a folio book with maps, images and hints and deceased only to let the movie star find the treasure.
Hello I’m anybody in a space shuttle which never has seat belts and always crashes on a m class planet.
I fall asleep naked after an extremely raunchy romp and wake up in a sexy negligee with perfect hair and make up.
I'm a front door. I am never, ever locked, so anyone can just walk straight in, good guys or bad. My friend back door is just as slutty. But I'm only in America
Hi. I’m a college bell that rings at the end of class despite the fact that there are no bells in college because all classes end at different times. I also conviently ring at the exact moment the professor makes their important point and someone comes into the classroom to talk to the professor.
Hello, I'm the clothes worn by the hero in a 1950s western. After a fight, I always stay clean and pressed. When the hero falls off the horse into the river, I emerge from the water miraculously dry. And if stolen from a random clothesline, I will always fit the new wearer as if tailor made!
Hello! I’m the pretty blond woman in a film. I’m always dragged through sewers in my high heels and tight skirt and there’s never poop or wee in there, but a million rats and clean walls. Also, I feel slightly uncomfortable about the rats, but won’t totally freak out until one tiny beetle falls into my hair. That’s when I totally lose it! And when I come out of the sewers, it will always be to a place with that claw footed bubble bath waiting and a set of clothes in my size, that totally flatter my sexy body. And when I unwrap my freshly washed hair from the towel, it falls around my shoulders in perfect waves and all the horrors of just an hour before have been forgotten.
Hello, I'm a female lawyer in a prestigious law firm. My female colleagues and I all naturally walk sexily and at high speed, even over incredibly short distances. When we make partner, we earn the right to say "God damn" and frequently pour ourselves a god damn drink while staring down our male peers.
Hi! I'm a tough guy who just got stabbed in a brutal hand-to-hand fight with a thug. I'm battered, bruised, bleeding, and in great pain. But I show my TRUE AGONY when the EMT cleans my wound and stitches me up.
I'm a overweight 45 year old private detective. One of my snitches tells me a 10 digit phonenumber that I'll dial on my phone without even looking. I make contact with an heiress of an enormous fortune who is conned out of the money by an evil nephew. Without even giving me her address I drive to her in my brandnew Porsche. Heiress is a beautiful 20 year old woman who falls in love with me. We talk and I leave to talk to the nephew who immediatly admits his fraud but than flees in his Fiat 500. Carchase. Porsche isn't able to keep up with the Fiat. Fiat hits tree. Before evil nephew dies, he hands over all the evidence of his fraud. I return evidence to heiress without waiting for the police. She's overwhelmed, faints in my arms, confesses her love to me, but I decline saying I'm a lone wolf with crimes to solve and criminals to punish. Zoom out, with me driving away in the sunset reflected in her teary eyes.
Hello i'm an obnoxious teenager/highschool freshman and my parents are complete idiots who misunderstand and neglect me, i will rebel and do the thing they told me not to do for my own safety but in the end they will appologize for the consequences i brought on myself
Hey there, I'm a crime scene analyst who is one of the best. You're my partner, another crime scene analyst who is one of the best. We've worked hundreds of scenes together, but I will be sure to explain out loud to you every step of the process we use as we dust for prints, spray luminol and conduct other sundry tasks that we've done every day for the past eight years together.
Hello, I am a bed sheet in a movie. I have an L-shape to conviniently cover a woman's breast but reach the man's waist.
Hello, I'm the protagonist in a teen movie. I have no acne, shiny hair, and a perfect body, but I'm unpopular and get bullied by the popular girl that everyone hates because I have brown hair, glasses, A+ on tests, and an average amount of money. She humiliates me multiple times through the movie. My first crush loves me back and invites me to homecoming, where my BigEmbarrassingSecretTM is revealed. I win homecoming queen and my boyfriend wins homecoming queen. All my millions of equally unpopular friends are white, cishet, abled, smart, and beautiful, and they secretly organised me winning. The movie ends with me kissing my boyfriend and the rich blonde girl getting covered in mud or garbage.
Heilo, I'm a cop in a major city. Wherever I drive, there is an open parking space exactly where I need to be, in a space large enough where I don't have to parallel park.
Hi, I'm the hero in every action movie ever. When I break in to the villains lair, nobody notices me crawling around in the air vents until I bust out in a room full of computers. I defeat all of the henchman one by one and for some reason none of the other henchman try to stop me. When I shoot the villain, I somehow remain completely spotless of blood. I wear all black and my gun never runs out of bullets.
Hi, I'm the hero of this action movie. When I break into the bad guys lair, nobody notices me crawling through the air vents until I dramatically burst out in the room with all of the computers. I defeat all of the henchman one by one and somehow, none of the other henchman try to stop me. I wear all black and my gun never runs out of bullets. When I shoot the villain, my outfit and hands remain completely spotless of blood.
Hi, we're the couple who upon waking engage in some really close face to face conversation and then begin to totally make out despite the fact that both of our breaths smells like the rancid fart of an aging pitbull...
Hello, I'm a hotel used as the well-guarded HQ of the bad guy. No good guys can get in unnoticed, unless they use the catering entrance, or just dress up in the uniform of of the kitchen staff or room service staff. Nobody will notice them.
Hello, we're family in 1950's movie. We live in palace, owns luxurious car, wears designer clothes and diamonds. We are poor.
Hello, I'm your arch enemy who has tried to kill you for years. At last I have you in front of me and my gun is pointed at you, but instead of shooting you quickly, I instead tell you all about my evil doings in such detail that your friends have time to save you from me and you know all my bad deeds now so I can get arrested and put away for life.
Hello, I'm the female in a hetero relationship who discovers she is pregnant and my boyfriend does not want a baby. At the end of the story however, he learns to accept me and the baby and we live happily ever after!
Hi, I'm any main character in any thriller/horror movie and I always head straight for the most suspicious places alone and in the dark.
Hello. I'm traveling in Europe. Can you ear the accordion playing?
Google this one. How the same paper ended up in hundreds of films. FOR more than 40 years the same newspaper has been popping up in hundreds of different movies and TV shows. Here’s the backstory.
Hey there! I am a white secret agent working for a global secret agency that operates in each and every corner of the world. I pick up a payphone, call a weird number and tell a random phrase or set of numbers and I am directed to my agency's hotline where I'm talking to a girl with a sweet voice who provides me with any and every information I require...
Hello i'm an obnoxious teenager/highschool freshman and my parents are complete idiots who misunderstand and neglect me but i will rebel and do the thing they told me not to do for my own safety but in the end they will appologize for the consequences i brought on myself
Hello, I’m a cynical TV weatherman that finds himself reliving the same day over and over again when I go on location to the small town of Punxsutawney to film a report about their annual Groundhog Day.
Hello, I'm a spoiled daughter of the CEO with a fiance that is thinly veiled garbage. My father sends me to a small town to learn the true meaning of love and I slowly fall for a handsome small-town hunk with a child. I dramatically break off my engagement with my fiance and tell my dad I don't want his money and live happily ever after.
Plot twist: what if your small-town hunk wants his money?
Load More Replies...I have perfect hair in a complicated up-do (French twist if it's the 80s), held together with only one pin. I can remove that pin and my hair will gracefully fall in loose shining waves that I will slowly shake back and forth.
Hello, I'm a bank vault. The cash I hold is sitting out in full view on a rack of shelves for just anyone to take.
I'm a hero trapped in a mysterious dark place. I light a match an the whole place lights up like the Sahara at noon.
Hello, I'm a guy who just got in serious trouble for a misunderstanding that's easily explainable. I do not explain.
The thing that irritates me about romantic comedies is how you get the guy/girl and then split up over a misunderstanding but all is made good if you get to the airport in time .
Hello, I'm someone in a movie who has a minor crush on someone who seems to like me. But instead of talking to them, I panic and pretend I'm someone or something I'm not. Things will spiral out of control because obviously rather than admit to my mistake or talk to the person about what should be minor issues, I will go to greater and greater measures to keep up the lie. I am actually probably a terrible person to be in a relationship with, but when the secret comes out and my crush is justifiably upset and is about to leave the country, I will dramatically chase through an airport - where the bemused security officers will let me through because I'm clearly harmless - and confess my undying love, whereupon I will be forgiven and we live happily ever after.
Load More Replies...I am the nerdy but kinda cute guy in high school who is hopelessly in love with the most beautiful girl in the school. She is together with a equally beautiful jock and has a clique of mean girls around her. Shes nice, kinda dumb, nd ee go out on a dste because of a cruel joke of her guy. we click, she falls for me, then i dump her for my nerdy, but cute female friend or i take her as my beautiul but dumb girlfriend after teaching her a lesson of humility and kindness. After that, i knock her hunk of a boyfriend out and declare my love in front of a crowd.
hi, we were the couple who dated in a car at the beginning of the movie, we were the first victim of the serial murder/alien/mystical creature/deadly plaque/monster/devil/demon/beast
Where's the one about the token black guy getting killed 30 minutes into the start of the movie? And if he's in a Quentin Tarantino movie, he will have used the N-word more times than NWA did in their whole career before he buys the farm. If he's Samuel L. Jackson, he'll have uttered "m**********r" at least 15 times in the movie, or "motherfu----" if it's PG-13.
Yeah it's almost always black guys then sometimes after that any Asian will be next with her/his buddy white girl? But in recent movies I'm glad they change that thing to be fair.
Load More Replies...Hello, I am a gun in a movie. I never run out of bullets and when I hit the star it is always a nonfatal injury in the top of the right shoulder.
And I'm especially excited when I'm the fully automatic rifle the bad guys can't hit ANYTHING with, or the snub-nosed revolver that the good guy can use to administer the fatal shot from 100 yards away.
Load More Replies...Hello, I am the villain in a James Bond movie. I never just kill Bond, First I always reveal my evil scheme and then put him in some Rube Goldberg death trap.
Hello, I am a waiter in a busy bar or tavern. The main character will pull my arm and place an order. They will receive it five seconds later regardless of everyone else at the pub and the fact that they've just walked in.
Badass women kicking some serious butts wearing tight body suit and long ponytail, but none of the bad guys ever tries to use the same ponytail against her. Who ever tries to fight wearing ponytail or long hair? That's like invitation to get grabbed by that.
And all your opponents always wait patiently for you to finish off the baddie you're dealing with.
Load More Replies...We're a group of teenagers some place dark being threatened by something evil. We decide to split up, make out, and get killed.
Hello, I'm a cup of coffee or some other drink being sipped in a movie. But the jokes on you because you can tell by the way I'm being handled that I'm completely empty.
My parents was cuzins, and I got hitched at 14 to Jim Bob, and we has 8 young un's. I be 22 next week.
Load More Replies...Hello, I am a person of faith in a movie. I am typically a clueless idiot, a judgmental jerk, a money grubbing or sex crazed hypocrite or a psychopathic killer.
Unless I'm a practitioner of some religion other than Christianity. Then I'm wise and good and patient, and probably a dying old man who has words of wisdom for everyone.
Load More Replies...How about every annoying "we are a bunch of young - couldn't be whiter white and gorgeous looking practicers/residents/senior residents at a hospital where every woman wants to make out with the senior resident, and we don't give a f**k about anything else than f*****g in hospital robes, and discussing how f*****g each other has affected their relationships, all over the patient who does not give a f**k?"
Hello, i am a very smart and beautiful detective. i chase dangerous suspects with my high heels stilettos and i always look as if i Just stepped out of a beauty saloon. I rush into the office in the morning after an urgent call from my boss, miraculously with my hair done and my perfect makeup on.
I am married to my job, until my boss forces me to work with the new guy, who is an unprofessional idiot and only gets in my nerves, but with whom I will fall helplessly in love with after only a week or so after he shows me that I was missing the best in life by being too serious, and possibly saves me from a situation I probably have already dealt with before on my own.
Load More Replies...Hello, I am a Mexican. I am the hopeful illegal immigrant looking for the American dream, eager to work for you as a maid or gardener; if I am tatooed, I must be the drug dealer who wants to kill/kidnap you while you sleep. Oh I almost forgot: If I am a woman and part of the 'good guys' team, I am the spicy Latina with a whole lotta attitude and a big butt.
Why did I read that as "hopefully illegal immigrant"
Load More Replies...Hello, I'm Santa. I give gifts to the US first ignoring all the countries that begin Christmas day earlier.
Omg yes, as someone that comes from a country that celebrates Christmas on Christmas Eve, it always annoyed me as a kid when Santa started giving gifts on Christmas Day in American movies
Load More Replies...I miss one: the guy that shouts ’Let’s get the hell out of here’ in every action movie.
Hello, I'm a woman in a movie who just found a dead body. I will scream at the top of my lung. Hi, I'm her friend, a man in a movie who just found a dead body. I will look away in silence.
Quit screaming, Lady. They're dead, they can't hurt you.
Load More Replies...Hello, I am a graphic designer. When there is a looming worldwide disaster where time is if the essence, before the experts are dragged from their beds and brought in to solve it, I am given a week to produce a complex, high definition animation that can be perfectly synchronised to the off-the-cuff briefing the head of homeland security gives them.
Hi, I'm a woman being chased by a murderer. I fall, roll down a mountainside, swim through a river and run in shoes with a heel. In the end I still have makeupon, my outfit looks pretty good and my hair is a bit disheveled. Oh, yes, i shot the murderer with the gun he had that flew out of his hand during our struggle.
Hello. Im a problem child so my single mom sends me off to the country to go work on my estranged uncles farm where i will meet a problem horse bound to be sold. I will bond with this horse and halfway through i will tell my uncle that he doesnt understand some stupid teenage feelings about losing a crush or something only for him to tell me some massive pain he has experienced in his life that in no way compares to my silly issue. I end up being a model citizen
I m the lover in a romom and when i fall in and out of .ove or have to tell my love interest i am sorry, or i have a secret, i will never do this alone, but always with a crowd, even when i am not aware of it that i have one, and they will cheer me on or judge me or clap fervently when we kiss.
Hi there - I'm the flash light that every crime scene investigator uses to search for evidence instead of actually turning on a light. They like to use me even in the middle of the day when the sun is out.
Hi, I'm a police captain, and you're a sergeant. Nobody wants to partner with you because you're a loose cannon, you just cost the department thousands of dollars, and the commissioner's breathing down my neck.
Hello! I'm a car in a movie, you can use and drive me for quite sometime but when someone wants to murder you and you want us to get the hell out of there I'll be a useless car that suddenly can't start the engine. Hello! I'm a light bulb in a movie I'm always flickering so that the killer will be right by you.
And you can bet the villain is hiding in the back seat.
Load More Replies...Hello, I am the weather in a movie. I make sure the rain stays away until a woman is having a bad day and drops her shopping on the road or a couple need to kiss for the first time. I never blow my wind until someone is looking for something/someone, then I blow their hat to that exact location. Oh and I ALWAYS snow at Christmas.
I am a maid in a hotel, I find a dead person, I drop everything I had in my hands and scream as loud as I can... several time.
And I am the hotel manager. I hear you before you can even finish the scream and bolt upstairs. You explain in a few seconds and I call the police using the phone in the room. I don't mention who the person may be or where we are at.
Load More Replies...Hello, I'm the short girl. I will only show up when the hero needs show how nice he is by reaching something for me.
Hello, I'm the short chubby girl who never gets the guy. I hate those tall skinny b*tches!
Load More Replies...Thoroughly enjoyed all the great stories, from the article and all the Bored Pandas. Now, I set off for Hollywood, where I will have plenty of ideas for my new career as a screenwriter. So long, suckers! 😂😂
Hello, my mates and I are trying to stop the movie’s lead character from escaping somewhere. We get into a fist fight, and one by one, each of us gets instantly knocked out cold, if the lead hits us. If he pushes or shoves us, we fall to the floor, pass out and never get up again.
Hello. I'm a city building in a movie. My front is always empty so the main character can park RIGHT UP FRONT!
Hello, I'm a coffee cup in a tv show. I'm always in the shot, being sipped from, often during a fast and urgent conversation. So fast, so urgent in fact, that they neglect to fill me with coffee, lest I spill all over or cause continuity issues. In movies, there are bigger budgets, and people off camera often drinking actual coffee that top me off, so I feel more fulfilled in my role.
I'm a spaceship in the far future. I am always on a peaceful exploration/diplomatic mission, but am armed to the teeth and crewed by tactical experts. I never have any crash restraints on my bridge, or take-hold nooks in my miles of blank corridors, but nobody seems to be bothered. All external damage can be fixed from a console in engineering--unless something happens to the dilithium crystals, then we're doomed. Even after crash-landing, I'm still able to fly, because "the old girl" always has "something left in her."
I'm the bad guy who could get away with my crime scot-free if I'd just shoot the protagonist and be on my way, but oh no I just have to run my mouth - gloating and pontificating until the cops arrive and capture or kill me.
Hello, I’m a chef or baker in a movie. I am NEVER busy, I literally Have every ingredient under the sun and I cannot imagine checking temps. Gloves? Nope. Sani bucket? Nope. I am the executive and I do my own dishes. My baker/pastry is present in the evening to present dessert to each table. No one has ever done drugs in the bathroom. Oh and everything is pristine. Like brand new and shiny as f**k. My line cooks and servers aren’t yelling or crying. Oh! I forgot: everyone wears either whatever they want or once again pristine uniforms. Silverware roll ups appear from thin air
I’m Dwayne Johnson in a movie. I have a wife and two kids, to show what a loving family man I am, before I shoot 300 people.
Hello, I'm the girl in the group and next to the handsome one, the smart one, the sporty one, the black one, I am the girl one. Girl is my whole character.
If I'm in a kids show, I wear pink and like clothes, singing, dancing, acting, drawing, and scrapbooks, and I'm magically good at everything else because of these. I know nothing until the main character doesn't know things, then I know it from tv.
Load More Replies...Hello, I'm the only black person in this horror movie, so you know what's gonna happen..
God bless you, I am a pastor/reverend in a movie and I am in my sixties, partially bald, perpetually wise and never joke.I only appear at funerals, weddings, and at night in an otherwise empty church. My children are rebellious and I never spend time in an office.
Characters come in the cofee shop or restaurant, order food, table is covered with fresh food and drinks, but no one ever eats, they just talk and then leave. Someone brings ice-cream and leaves it on the table or just forgets it and starts loooong conversation. Put the damn ice-cream in the fridge first!
Hello, I'm a vampire in a movie. I am usually Count Dracula, and my two main phrases are "Bleh, bleh, bleh" and "I vant to suck your blood." I live in a casket and my lover is dead. I will die at the sight of sunlight, garlic, and steaks of wood. I am bloodthristy and will try my hardest to kill you, but a group of teens led by Buffy will kill me, and I will wither away into a pile of dust
I'm a ECG lead on a patient's chest lying on a hospital bed. Sometimes the doctors and nurses randomly attach my 3 colour leads which are white, red and black all over the patients body and the rhythm strip is beaping normally. Other times I flatline on the monitor and the doctor calls out to the nurse, "draw up 10 cc's of epinephrine," the nurses responds, "dialling up to 200kjs doctor" then the doc says, "clear" and pumps the patient's chest with an electrode paddle. The lifeless patient convulses and the nurse turns around and says to the doc, "he's in sinus rhythm"
Hello, I'm the male love interest in a romantic movie. I follow the female lead around and try to convince her to love me, even though she has clearly expressed her disinterest in me many times. I stalk her at her home, her place of work and anywhere she likes to hang out. I do things to gain her favour that most sane women would find creepy AF. At the end of the movie, I somehow win her over instead of gaining a restraining order and / or jail time.
I am a chief police and everytime I appear with my troops right after bruce lee, jackie chan, donnie yen or other HK films beaten up the villian. And I will ask my troops to make the arrest.
Hello, I am noble man in old England. I ride a horse and for any service from strangers I always happily throw them either one coin or the wholysack with all my money and the amount is always correct.
Hello I am an old movie and every woman is beautiful and works in a night club and sings and dances for a living. All the guys are mafia or detectives.
Hello, I'm the gorgeous southern biker babe who dramatically whips my head back and forth a couple times after removing my helmet. My voluminous blonde hair always comes cascading down into perfect waves, because I obviously don't sweat in my helmet after riding in the summer humidity, nor is the helmet heavy enough to defeat my extra-volume hairspray. My makeup is also always perfect.
Hello, I'm Good Guy's girlfriend in a fight scene. I stand around uselessly watching Good Guy and Bad Guy punch each other up. I tackle Bad Guy at a key moment when Good Guy is down, but then get knocked out cold for the rest of the scene by one punch. Meanwhile, Good Guy has been injured, headbutted and probably strangled but still manages to stay conscious enough to finish off Bad Guy.
Hello, I am a historian and archaeologist who devoted my entire life to a single historical event or person related to a lost treasure. I was very keen on the subject to get all the clues to the secret location but ever lacked wit, belief or both to get them all together and find the treasure. So I wrote and published a folio book with maps, images and hints and deceased only to let the movie star find the treasure.
Hello I’m anybody in a space shuttle which never has seat belts and always crashes on a m class planet.
I fall asleep naked after an extremely raunchy romp and wake up in a sexy negligee with perfect hair and make up.
I'm a front door. I am never, ever locked, so anyone can just walk straight in, good guys or bad. My friend back door is just as slutty. But I'm only in America
Hi. I’m a college bell that rings at the end of class despite the fact that there are no bells in college because all classes end at different times. I also conviently ring at the exact moment the professor makes their important point and someone comes into the classroom to talk to the professor.
Hello, I'm the clothes worn by the hero in a 1950s western. After a fight, I always stay clean and pressed. When the hero falls off the horse into the river, I emerge from the water miraculously dry. And if stolen from a random clothesline, I will always fit the new wearer as if tailor made!
Hello! I’m the pretty blond woman in a film. I’m always dragged through sewers in my high heels and tight skirt and there’s never poop or wee in there, but a million rats and clean walls. Also, I feel slightly uncomfortable about the rats, but won’t totally freak out until one tiny beetle falls into my hair. That’s when I totally lose it! And when I come out of the sewers, it will always be to a place with that claw footed bubble bath waiting and a set of clothes in my size, that totally flatter my sexy body. And when I unwrap my freshly washed hair from the towel, it falls around my shoulders in perfect waves and all the horrors of just an hour before have been forgotten.
Hello, I'm a female lawyer in a prestigious law firm. My female colleagues and I all naturally walk sexily and at high speed, even over incredibly short distances. When we make partner, we earn the right to say "God damn" and frequently pour ourselves a god damn drink while staring down our male peers.
Hi! I'm a tough guy who just got stabbed in a brutal hand-to-hand fight with a thug. I'm battered, bruised, bleeding, and in great pain. But I show my TRUE AGONY when the EMT cleans my wound and stitches me up.
I'm a overweight 45 year old private detective. One of my snitches tells me a 10 digit phonenumber that I'll dial on my phone without even looking. I make contact with an heiress of an enormous fortune who is conned out of the money by an evil nephew. Without even giving me her address I drive to her in my brandnew Porsche. Heiress is a beautiful 20 year old woman who falls in love with me. We talk and I leave to talk to the nephew who immediatly admits his fraud but than flees in his Fiat 500. Carchase. Porsche isn't able to keep up with the Fiat. Fiat hits tree. Before evil nephew dies, he hands over all the evidence of his fraud. I return evidence to heiress without waiting for the police. She's overwhelmed, faints in my arms, confesses her love to me, but I decline saying I'm a lone wolf with crimes to solve and criminals to punish. Zoom out, with me driving away in the sunset reflected in her teary eyes.
Hello i'm an obnoxious teenager/highschool freshman and my parents are complete idiots who misunderstand and neglect me, i will rebel and do the thing they told me not to do for my own safety but in the end they will appologize for the consequences i brought on myself
Hey there, I'm a crime scene analyst who is one of the best. You're my partner, another crime scene analyst who is one of the best. We've worked hundreds of scenes together, but I will be sure to explain out loud to you every step of the process we use as we dust for prints, spray luminol and conduct other sundry tasks that we've done every day for the past eight years together.
Hello, I am a bed sheet in a movie. I have an L-shape to conviniently cover a woman's breast but reach the man's waist.
Hello, I'm the protagonist in a teen movie. I have no acne, shiny hair, and a perfect body, but I'm unpopular and get bullied by the popular girl that everyone hates because I have brown hair, glasses, A+ on tests, and an average amount of money. She humiliates me multiple times through the movie. My first crush loves me back and invites me to homecoming, where my BigEmbarrassingSecretTM is revealed. I win homecoming queen and my boyfriend wins homecoming queen. All my millions of equally unpopular friends are white, cishet, abled, smart, and beautiful, and they secretly organised me winning. The movie ends with me kissing my boyfriend and the rich blonde girl getting covered in mud or garbage.
Heilo, I'm a cop in a major city. Wherever I drive, there is an open parking space exactly where I need to be, in a space large enough where I don't have to parallel park.
Hi, I'm the hero in every action movie ever. When I break in to the villains lair, nobody notices me crawling around in the air vents until I bust out in a room full of computers. I defeat all of the henchman one by one and for some reason none of the other henchman try to stop me. When I shoot the villain, I somehow remain completely spotless of blood. I wear all black and my gun never runs out of bullets.
Hi, I'm the hero of this action movie. When I break into the bad guys lair, nobody notices me crawling through the air vents until I dramatically burst out in the room with all of the computers. I defeat all of the henchman one by one and somehow, none of the other henchman try to stop me. I wear all black and my gun never runs out of bullets. When I shoot the villain, my outfit and hands remain completely spotless of blood.
Hi, we're the couple who upon waking engage in some really close face to face conversation and then begin to totally make out despite the fact that both of our breaths smells like the rancid fart of an aging pitbull...
Hello, I'm a hotel used as the well-guarded HQ of the bad guy. No good guys can get in unnoticed, unless they use the catering entrance, or just dress up in the uniform of of the kitchen staff or room service staff. Nobody will notice them.
Hello, we're family in 1950's movie. We live in palace, owns luxurious car, wears designer clothes and diamonds. We are poor.
Hello, I'm your arch enemy who has tried to kill you for years. At last I have you in front of me and my gun is pointed at you, but instead of shooting you quickly, I instead tell you all about my evil doings in such detail that your friends have time to save you from me and you know all my bad deeds now so I can get arrested and put away for life.
Hello, I'm the female in a hetero relationship who discovers she is pregnant and my boyfriend does not want a baby. At the end of the story however, he learns to accept me and the baby and we live happily ever after!
Hi, I'm any main character in any thriller/horror movie and I always head straight for the most suspicious places alone and in the dark.
Hello. I'm traveling in Europe. Can you ear the accordion playing?
Google this one. How the same paper ended up in hundreds of films. FOR more than 40 years the same newspaper has been popping up in hundreds of different movies and TV shows. Here’s the backstory.
Hey there! I am a white secret agent working for a global secret agency that operates in each and every corner of the world. I pick up a payphone, call a weird number and tell a random phrase or set of numbers and I am directed to my agency's hotline where I'm talking to a girl with a sweet voice who provides me with any and every information I require...
Hello i'm an obnoxious teenager/highschool freshman and my parents are complete idiots who misunderstand and neglect me but i will rebel and do the thing they told me not to do for my own safety but in the end they will appologize for the consequences i brought on myself
Hello, I’m a cynical TV weatherman that finds himself reliving the same day over and over again when I go on location to the small town of Punxsutawney to film a report about their annual Groundhog Day.