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30 Of The Most Entertaining ‘It Doesn’t Work Like That’ Stories, Told By Professionals In This Online Community
Each era has its own folklore and its own myths. In the old days, these were mighty heroes and terrible monsters, then noble knights and beautiful princesses, cowboys shooting without a single miss, and bulletproof superheroes. The contemporary world also has its own myths, and moreover, we face them literally every day.
Ask any software engineer you know how many times in their lives they have been asked to fix a desktop - simply because they are "programmers". Or how many times an accountant - even if they have never dealt with a tax report in their entire professional career - receives requests from acquaintances to sort out their taxes?
Myths, myths and more myths surround literally every profession, and we create these myths ourselves. Just from watching a couple of James Bond films, we are sure that spies spend their lives doing nothing but driving around in luxury cars wearing insanely expensive suits. Just from watching a couple of children's films, we will strongly believe that the workers at the animal shelter have the most wonderful job in the world, as they pet doggos and kitties all day long.
The list is literally endless, and a popular thread starter in the AskReddit community recently helped us by asking people the question: "What's your profession's myth that you regularly need to explain 'It doesn't work like that' to people?" In just a few days, the thread has racked up 2.5K upvotes and over 3.8K comments, bringing together an incredible collection of today's mythology.
To make it easier for you to figure out all this abundance, Bored Panda has made a list of the most popular comments of the original thread. So now feel free to read stories on debunking modern myths, scroll to the very end, and if you have your own professional experience that can also dispel some myth literally in the wind, please be sure to tell us about it in the comments.
More info: Reddit
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#1
Your terminally ill grandmother isn't "becoming addicted" to her pain medication. She's dying in as much comfort and with as much dignity as we can provide.
RELATED:
#2
Pet euthanasia. There is a wildly popular post that goes around about how pets dropped off for euthanasia “look around for their owners” and know they’ve been “abandoned”. It’s nonsense, and I will defend clients dropping off until I myself die.
I’ve seen what happens when owners can’t say goodbye so they don’t. The animal suffers for days to weeks until their bodies finally give out. I have literally seen a dog rotting from the inside out, SOMEHOW still alive, but the owner couldn’t commit to euthanasia so she didn’t and that dog suffered tremendously for it.
Everyone has boundaries to what they can handle. Requiring an otherwise loving, doting, and responsible owner to be present when it was all they could do to make the appointment doesn’t help pets the way you think it does.
Furthermore, in the nine years I’ve worked in this industry, I have *never* experienced what is described in that post. Ever. And my colleagues overwhelmingly agree. We love on them and hug them, and tell them they’re a good boy until they pass. **By the logic in that post, you should also never drop off for sedated or anesthetic procedures either because the process begins the same way (with sedation). How is that pet to know that death is imminent? They don’t.**
You’re projecting your emotions onto people who are already suffering, and you’re not helping pets by shaming owners, and my local, professional cohort overwhelmingly agrees.
Deborah Harris 2 years ago
Every time I take one of my dogs to the vets they hate it, the Vet always asks me or my partner to stay whilst they do whatever it is they are doing in order to calm the dog down and help her/him relax. There is no way on Gods sweet Earth would I leave my dogs alone whilst being euthanised, no matter how much it would kill me inside I will be there at the end giving them my love and comfort ..
#3
Weight loss surgery is NOT the easy way out. There is nothing easy about getting your stomach resized to hold a cup or less of food, it f***s up your metabolism, eating the wrong things can cause serious pain, and guess what you're on for the rest of your life? A restrictive diet. Because your stomach's tiny but you still need all the nutrients.
Weight loss medications are not the easy way out either. They don't work unless the patient does, and even then, sometimes it takes months to find the right combo of meds. And there's still nutrition and exercise requirements.
Basically, being obese is really hard, and getting to a point where one is no longer obese is also really hard, so when you see someone obese, assume that they're doing their best and could use some kindness.
Helen Waight 2 years ago
Yeah, there is no ‘easy way out’ of being obese and for some of us it’s not possible at all (disabled, messed up metabolism due to ED and medications…). So don’t look at us and think ‘lazy’
#4
No Ma'am, we aren't going to 'shock' (defibrillate) your family member because their heart isn't actually beating.
Defibrillators do not restart a heart, they reset a malfunctioning cardiac rhythm. If the heart isn't at least doing something then our options are CPR and meds until we get some kind of rhythm.
Sincerely,
Tired Medic
helen gray 2 years ago
Yup, the hearty-starty machine is actually a hearty-stoppy machine. A heart needs to have a shockable rhythm, that is it needs to be fibrillating (like quivering) in order to be de-fibrillated. To de-fibrillate means to stop its rhythm which usually, and certainly hopefully, prompts the heart to restart itself in a sinus rhythm.
#5
Antibiotics don't work on viral diseases.
Lantana Howell 2 years ago
What? You mean you need to let a virus run its course and treat the symptoms or take an anti-viral!?
#6
Child welfare investigator here
My job isn’t “hard” for the reasons most people think: constantly being exposed to and interviewing abused children
It’s hard because 90% of the time, it’s just disgruntled exes calling on each other over nothing..and dealing with grown adults’ drama is exhausting af.
Amy Taylor 2 years ago
Yep!! My friend's ex husband called CPS on her and put her life into a tailspin. She did absolutely nothing wrong. The incident in question? Their daughter was angry her phone was taken away as punishment so she told her dad her mom threw the phone at her face. My daughter was there when it happened and said that it was an absolute lie. She felt really bad for not backing up her friend, but I told her the truth was more important. It cost my friend thousands of dollars to fight him in court.
#7
Just because I’m a psychologist doesn’t mean I’m immune to psychological disorders or distress.
#8
I'm a retired used bookstore owner. People were always saying "Oh, I would love to own a bookstore. You can read all day.". Um, no. It's actually a lot of hard, physical work, (boxes of books are heavy), lots of bending and reaching. And then you get to clean the store and do the paperwork. Owning any retail store is not an easy job!
Bernd Herbert 2 years ago
Sorry, but anyone who thought owning a book store would mean „reading all day“ is an idiot
#9
Retail. If an employee tells you they're sold out of that hot sale item. They're sold out. They're not hoarding them in the backroom, because f**k you. They know they're sold out, because you're the 10th person to ask about it, in the last 20 minutes.
#10
Former pastry chef, and still work in a hotel. No I do not make amazing food at home. I barely survive on a diet of cereal, sandwiches and chocolate bars. Pot noodles if I’m feeling fancy.
Also most people in the industry are either junkies or alcoholics to cope with the brutal schedule. My extended family still can’t fathom me working the amount out of hours a week I work.
Also we do not enjoy weddings, they are fun to attend, but nothing but a headache to run.
Amy Taylor 2 years ago
The restaurant industry sounds a lot like the film industry, lol. People are in utter disbelief when I tell them that I work 18 hour days a lot, and that a 10 hour day is a "short" day in my industry.
#11
When I was building decks I remember a lot of people asked for shorter railings because it'd look nicer. I totally agree, but if 42" is the minimum in this state we're gonna do 42"
#12
Although I'm a skilled teacher the students need to do the learning. I can't do it for them.
jai putman 2 years ago
I'm a language teacher, teaching English to kids and teenagers. As a native speaker it's astounding how much English grammar that I wasn't actually taught in school and I now have to learn myself as it was considered common knowledge in my native UK.
#13
No doctor does all aspects of medicine and surgery.. it’s specialized and sub specialized. Obviously in more rural areas people do more, but for the most part, complex things get sent to very specialized folks and a doctor like House would never exist (and anyone who acted like him would be fired in about a week)
#14
Being a car machenic that specializes in a couple of cars. We dont know everything about how to fix the car out of our heads. we use youtube a lot to figure out stuf we dont know.
#15
"I have this great idea for a book. You write it, and we'll split the profits."
Nope.
Katie Lutesinger 2 years ago
I've published several bestselling novels. I'm neither rich nor famous.
#16
That vet techs get to play with puppies and kittens all day. It’s a physically and mentally exhausting job.
#17
Wearing glasses doesn't make your eyes worse. There are so many misconceptions and so much false reasoning that goes into that one belief that I don't even know where to start. But I'll try anyway I guess.
1) "I noticed my eyes got blurry only after wearing glasses!" That is because your eyes have adjusted to seeing things with more clarity. So of course you're now going to notice when you're missing that clarity whether it be because you took off your glasses or your prescription has changed.
2) "Wearing glasses cause eye strain!" No it doesn't. Your usual eye strain is from working long hours or staring at screens. But you're only noticing it now because the adjustment period when getting glasses for the first time or when getting a new prescription does increase eye strain until you adjust.
3) "I used to never need glasses but now I need new ones every two years! My eyes are getting worse because of glasses!" Refer back to 1. But also you didn't need glasses previously because your eyesight wasn't s**tty enough for you to notice yet or be really othered by it yet. That doesn't mean you didn't actually need them. Your eyesight was probably changing every year even while you didn't notice. Now that you are used to seeing with clarity, you'll notice when things aren't clear and crisp anymore.
I have dealt with many adults who insist they don't need glasses, either distance or reading or both, because they just don't want to concede that their vision isn't great anymore. These are adults with nearsightedness, astigmatism, and sometimes who even need reading correction. And they can't see s**t. Like why are you so stubborn.
#18
I work in childcare and no, I don’t just get to play all day and have fun. I have to deal with behavioral issues, developmental delays, diapers, injuries, curriculum, art projects, huge messes during mealtime, working with one other person to put 12+ toddlers down for nap, etc. Of course it’s fun at times but dealing with all of that is so stressful.
#19
The "defense attorney" aspect of law
It's not your job to lie, deceive, and cheat to get your client acquitted. You give them the best legal defense so that they receive the due process that everyone has a right to.
*"The job of the defense is to make sure the prosecution does theirs."*
If your client is guilty, then the prosecution should be able to prove it fair and square. If they can't then the quality of evidence does not meet the minimum standard and your client should go free. Full stop.
Does that mean the occasional guilty person gets away with it? Yeah. But far worse is a system where innocent people are more likely to go to jail because a s**tty prosecutor's weak arguments were accepted.
A good defense attorney would recognize a losing case and just try to get the best deal for their client, and getting the weaker charges dropped (in case the prosecutor just decides to "throw the book" at them)
#20
Computer animation doesn’t mean the computer does the animation…I do.
#21
There are no skeleton keys. There is no "one key that fits all locks". There are master keys that have been painstakingly installed into a buildings locks, some of which might fit all the locks depending on that particular keys chosen mastering levels, but no. There is no skeleton key. I, a locksmith, use special tools to open locks. I have a big bag of them. Tools like picks, jiggle keys, bump keys 2in1 Lishi keys, and many more. Yes, I got into your house fast. That's because I know how your lock works and know how to defeat it. No I did not turn up with a working key (disclaimer: sometimes I do as I have codes recorded for places I've worked on and I can get codes from car dealers so I can make a key before I turn up.)
Devil's Advocate 2 years ago
The phrase "skeleton key" comes from the time when locks were all very basic and had "wards" that would physically stop the wrong key from turning. A "skeleton key" was therefore the "bare bones" necessary to slide the lock pin, while missing all variations of wards *for that particular size lock" so even then it was never meant to fit *all* locks.
#22
Something being 'off the record'.
If you're speaking to a journalist, you can't just say 'off the record' and then spill your guts. You need to have agreed with the journalist beforehand that you will not be quoted.
#23
University prof. I do not get summers off.
Teaching in front of classes is only about 30% of my job. The rest is one-on-one supervision of graduate students. Doing research, writing grant applications, writing research papers. Summer is the time of year when I finally have the time to do all that other stuff.
Chich 2 years ago
Worked in wildland fire and got "what do you guys do in winter, theres no fires. Must be nice sitting around all day". In the fire season I had a seasonal staff of 70+ and in the off season there were three of us. Lots of wrapping up the last season and getting ready for the next (reports, equipment restocking, invoice processing, hiring, giving/taking training, contract prep, etc). Although some would take a week or two off in summer, especially if they had kids and were able to, we also took our annual leave during the winter. I rarely had a "summer".
#24
Tax professional.
Most clients think that the best tax Pros necessarily get them bigger refunds. If you get a smaller refund in a particular year it may be because tax laws change, because you didn't pay in as much, or because you didn't have as many deductions. Explaining stuff to people doesn't work if their eyes are all glazed over because tax law discussions bore them
Going to another tax Pro to get a bigger refund, thinking that that tax Pro is "better" may just get you an audit
But the worst myth about taxes manifest itself when scammers call people on the phone climbing to be IRS agents. They tell folks that they owe money and that authorities are coming to their house to put them in jail if they don't pay up. The truth is that the real IRS does not call anyone on the phone unless they have contacted IRS first and are expecting them to return the call. IRS does not accuse you of text fraud. Even if they truly believe you have committed tax fraud they will simply send you a letter stating that they think you have underpaid your taxes. They will give you a chance to prove your case. If you don't do this or pay them what they say you owe, they will simply Levy your paycheck or your personal property. They do not show up at your house to put you in jail. So please if a scammer calls you do not give them your credit card information or give them payments in any form. Call the real IRS and report them.
Kel_how 2 years ago
Can someone explain to me why I need to file my own taxes as opposed to just receiving a check or bill/statement straight from the IRS? Legitimate question.
Xenon 2 years ago
Tax preparation companies lobby to keep that from happening.
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Michael Largey 2 years ago
Much of the op's information is correct, but - as a former IRS auditor - I can tell you that he is widely off when he says " IRS does not accuse you of tax fraud. Even if they truly believe you have committed tax fraud they will simply send you a letter stating that they think you have underpaid your taxes." No, they have a whole division devoted to pursuing and prosecuting tax fraud, called the Criminal Division. If I thought that someone I audited had committed fraud, I would refer the case to the CD. If they agreed, the party would be indicted and put on trial. That's where they'd have chance to prove their case, but most of the cases are open and shut. Even after I left the IRS, I was subpoenaed to testify in a tax fraud case I helped develop while I was still there.
SilverStar Heggisist 2 years ago
Tax professionals exist because the tax code is needlessly complex.
Tina Harnish 2 years ago
I live in Canada. What you call IRS, we call CRA. I get spam callers telling me I owe the IRS. I laugh. They say they'll send the National Guard. Not in this country. They threaten with the police. Um, no. They don't come arrest you for taxes unless you've been to court, etc. I am unemployed. I don't owe taxes. I get a refund every year. Scammers- GO BLOW IT OUT YOUR REAR. I also get calls in what sounds like Chinese. Sorry, I bearly manage English at times.
Mary Elliott 2 years ago
The sheriff's department also doesn't call you to tell you that you have an outstanding warrant, and they sure as Hell aren't going to ask for gift cards or crypto for fine payments. Honest to God.
similarly 2 years ago
In Japan, I report my deductions to my workplace and it's all done automatically. I only need to file a return if I have other income.
Phryne 2 years ago
And most Americans would go nuts about giving that much info to their employers. The US government doesn't know nearly as much about people as they think the government knows. And, guess what? The US government doesn't care about most of the info people think they have.
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C.W. Keller 2 years ago (edited)
I started using an accountant for my taxes because there was one deduction that I couldn't figure out on my own. That having been said, I also believe that over the years, as my taxes have become more complex, my accountant has kept me from making mistakes that could have gotten me in trouble with the IRS, simply because I didn't properly understand the relevant tax law.
Gregg Bender 2 years ago
Ultimately, you need to check with professional associations and consumer sites before hiring a tax professional. Even if you do, you pretty much have to trust them implicitly. That's why we've been using the same one for over 20 years. Never had an audit. Oh, and she used to be an IRS auditor.
Phryne 2 years ago
Here's a thought (or two): there are a few ways for IRS to do your taxes. First, they need a LOT more money. Their infrastructure is antiquated. Second, they need a LOT more information than most Americans are willing to provide. Third, Americans need to give up most (or all) of their deductions. I've proposed making everyone single, no deductions (the "standard deduction is all optics anyway). No kids. No contributions. No state taxes. None. Flat tax rate. Self-employed? Your highest income from the past 10 years, adjusted for inflation. No (or few) deductions. Happy now? Face it - Americans are too fond of their privacy to give the government the info to compute their taxes. We also like complaining, blaming other people for our problems, not keeping records, and putting taxes off until the last minute.
Tim Bouchee 2 years ago
You forgot to mention that your refund should as close to zero as possible. I nearly lose my mind when people brag about refunds. The bigger your refund, the more money you're loaning to the government on no interest! I tried telling a former coworker this after she was bragging about how much money she'd get back, and she just rolled her eyes. Maddening...oh, and full disclaimer as this happened last time I vented like this on the Internet...if your tax situation changes on the regular or you tend to run the risk of owing money for whatever reason...this obviously does not apply to you.
#25
That converting to salt water pools does not ‘get rid of the chlorine’. Salt is sodium chloride, salt gets converted to chlorine in a salt water pool, and you use the exact same test kits to monitor the chlorine levels in the pool water.
Will Cancel 2 years ago
But at a MUCH lower rate, and yes the water is salted, small electrode blades convert a small amount of salt into chlorine.
#26
Just because your old technical device (laptop, tablet, phone) is in good condition, doesn't actually mean that it's any "good" today.
Caroline Sinclair 2 years ago
Especially if it's made by Apple, and can no longer install software updates.
#27
I work in a hardware store and apparently people think we have a huge underground storage big enough to hide every product in existence. No, i can't just go and fetch a part for your 20 year old fireplace or power tool from the backroom.
#28
I work in a bakery.
Baking stuff for 5000 people every day will take all night to do so when we run out of something during the day. We can't just slap something together in five minutes.
Come back tomorrow and we can get it for you.
#29
If something isn't stocked on the shelf and I tell you it isn't in the back then it isn't in the back and I can't magically make it appear out of thin air... that being said if you are a d**k I also might just tell you it ain't in the back
John Yaskowich 2 years ago
Shoe stores are the exception - very few can have all sizes and all styles out front. Asking them to check / get your size from the back is valid.
#30
Factory worker here.. Once a machine is set up, it can run all day, perfectly, without adjustment. Nope. Steel can vary in hardness, even within a continuous coil of wire. Humidity, ambient temperature, tooling wear can also spoil parts.
What do you think ?
Tracy 2 years ago
As a pharmacy technician, we do not set the prices of your medications, it’s your insurance company. They don’t tell us why your medication costs more than it did last month, nor do we know what your deductible is. You can use coupons like GoodRx which MIGHT make your medications cheaper, but it can’t be used with your insurance. Any questions about why your medications are so expensive can only be answered by your insurance company. Please call them and not yell at us. We just fill your medications
Jinx 2 years ago
Animal rescue "oh it must be so great working with animals all day I love seeing the baby puppy pictures" no actually most of my job is either cleaning poop or heartbreaking. Most animals in rescue are sick and in terrible condition when they come in. They have trust issues they will bite. Dealing with half a litter dying or even the whole litter because their mom was practically dead when she came in because even though she'd been "hanging around a few weeks" you couldn't be bothered to call till now. Dealing with the people is just as bad. Older folks that just had to many to take care of but genuinely loved their dogs as much as you do,a*shats that breed pitt bulls even though shelters are over with them already because spaying they dog is "just wrong",the couple that are having a baby so no longer need a dog , ect. The animals that have purposely been beaten,shot,burned,cut ect. makes you loose all hope in humans.
Jinx 2 years ago
But is is also the small things that keeps you trying. A 6oz preemie baby finally leveling out and eating normal, the fur growing back on mange puppies giving them a mohawk look for a couple of weeks,a dog finally wagging their tail at you instead of being scared of people, a tri-paw finally recovered enough after being hit by a car to play with others, finding the perfect forever home and getting updates with happy pictures. Also only working in rescue teaches you that you can actually be happy and animal is pooping everyday. 😂😂
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Serena 2 years ago
As an Artist, it doesn't mean since I'm doing what I love that it's not work. Everyday I am thinking of ideas, sketching, preparing, then gets into painting which can take days or months. I have to get things scanned in, take photographs and manage bookkeeping. What are my expenses, how much is the cost of supplies and running a website. Then I have to have social media accounts so people know this is what I'm doing all day. Not to mention reaching out to potential clients and doing art submissions. So no I am not going to make you a painting for free, or submit my art to a show/gallery where I am not paid for my time. No I am not going to join your art group with a membership fee or apply for a grant that won't guarantee me a steady income. Work is work no matter if you are in a field you enjoy. And if I'm not making money through my artwork then it would just be a hobby. Which it's not, so yeah just pay artists people.
oktopus 2 years ago
As someone who works in an obscure branch of IT, no I have no idea about your consumer device and I don't give two hoots, in fact I loath consumer tech stuff so much I minimize my exposure to it, so I have a simple smartphone with the bare minimum of apps, a TV with an on/off/select channel buttons, and none of this household automation nonsense. The last thing I want to be doing in my spare time is troubleshooting tech stuff because it feels like work.
Tracy 2 years ago
As a pharmacy technician, we do not set the prices of your medications, it’s your insurance company. They don’t tell us why your medication costs more than it did last month, nor do we know what your deductible is. You can use coupons like GoodRx which MIGHT make your medications cheaper, but it can’t be used with your insurance. Any questions about why your medications are so expensive can only be answered by your insurance company. Please call them and not yell at us. We just fill your medications
Jinx 2 years ago
Animal rescue "oh it must be so great working with animals all day I love seeing the baby puppy pictures" no actually most of my job is either cleaning poop or heartbreaking. Most animals in rescue are sick and in terrible condition when they come in. They have trust issues they will bite. Dealing with half a litter dying or even the whole litter because their mom was practically dead when she came in because even though she'd been "hanging around a few weeks" you couldn't be bothered to call till now. Dealing with the people is just as bad. Older folks that just had to many to take care of but genuinely loved their dogs as much as you do,a*shats that breed pitt bulls even though shelters are over with them already because spaying they dog is "just wrong",the couple that are having a baby so no longer need a dog , ect. The animals that have purposely been beaten,shot,burned,cut ect. makes you loose all hope in humans.
Jinx 2 years ago
But is is also the small things that keeps you trying. A 6oz preemie baby finally leveling out and eating normal, the fur growing back on mange puppies giving them a mohawk look for a couple of weeks,a dog finally wagging their tail at you instead of being scared of people, a tri-paw finally recovered enough after being hit by a car to play with others, finding the perfect forever home and getting updates with happy pictures. Also only working in rescue teaches you that you can actually be happy and animal is pooping everyday. 😂😂
Load More Replies... Serena 2 years ago
As an Artist, it doesn't mean since I'm doing what I love that it's not work. Everyday I am thinking of ideas, sketching, preparing, then gets into painting which can take days or months. I have to get things scanned in, take photographs and manage bookkeeping. What are my expenses, how much is the cost of supplies and running a website. Then I have to have social media accounts so people know this is what I'm doing all day. Not to mention reaching out to potential clients and doing art submissions. So no I am not going to make you a painting for free, or submit my art to a show/gallery where I am not paid for my time. No I am not going to join your art group with a membership fee or apply for a grant that won't guarantee me a steady income. Work is work no matter if you are in a field you enjoy. And if I'm not making money through my artwork then it would just be a hobby. Which it's not, so yeah just pay artists people.
oktopus 2 years ago
As someone who works in an obscure branch of IT, no I have no idea about your consumer device and I don't give two hoots, in fact I loath consumer tech stuff so much I minimize my exposure to it, so I have a simple smartphone with the bare minimum of apps, a TV with an on/off/select channel buttons, and none of this household automation nonsense. The last thing I want to be doing in my spare time is troubleshooting tech stuff because it feels like work.
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