It can be pretty annoying when someone starts to make assumptions about who you are as a person when, in fact, they just know a tiny bit about you. So sometimes, a particularly petty person might decide to take revenge.

A high schooler wondered if they went too far when they decided to pretend not knowing they were adopted to embarrass a substitute teacher. This devolved into a semantic debate, as OP had two fathers, which led to the teacher’s assumption in the first place. Netizens discussed who really was the jerk and talked terms with OP themselves.

Sometimes people make assumptions without actually knowing anything about you

Image credits: Kampus Production / Pexels (not the actual photo)

A teen decided to embarrass a teacher who thought they were adopted

Image credits: Thirdman / Pexels (not the actual photo)

Image credits: Disastrous_Front_725

It can be hard to debate if both parties don’t agree on terms

This story ends up being quite complicated, as both OP and some commenters skipped over the “AITA?” question and dived right into feelings, assumptions, and semantics. After all, on a purely technical level, OP’s fathers did have to adopt them. This is why many commenters suggested that OP was in the wrong, as the substitute was technically correct, albeit without actually understanding why.

On the other hand, OP doesn’t see it the same way. They believe that, due to using one of the father’s sisters as a surrogate, they are biologically close enough to skip over the labels. This is an interesting case, as it very effectively demonstrates why any debate has to start with both parties defining their terms.

This is what might be the real cause of some folks seeing OP as the jerk. The substitute teacher may have been embarrassed, particularly when OP drove the point home. However, she perhaps didn’t actually understand why she was wrong, as by more conventional definitions, OP was legally adopted, later in life, by at least one of her fathers.

OP has probably heard statements like this hundreds of times

Image credits: Chrysostomos Galathris / Pexels (not the actual photo)

While it’s no doubt annoying to have someone assume that they know something about you, perhaps OP was slightly too harsh with the substitute teacher. After all, this person hardly knows OP and was just trying to make a quick example. Instead, she ended up being embarrassed in front of the class for what was in all likelihood an honest mistake.

On the other hand, it’s easy to sympathize with OP as well. It would appear that they have had a lot of experiences with folks making all manner of assumptions about their parents, and they might be sick and tired of correcting people. OP’s response to the teacher and their general defensiveness in the comments (some of which can be found below) could be a result of them hearing these sorts of statements constantly. So the substitute teacher made one comment, but OP’s “outburst” was the result of a lifetime of these experiences.

Not every hill is worth dying on

Image credits: Max Fischer / Pexels (not the actual photo)

The issue with “AITA” style questions is that it tends to put people in the mindset that there has to be at least one jerk. This is somewhat limiting, since not every situation actually has a villain. Sometimes it might be healthier to just accept that sometimes there are misconceptions and flared emotions and it might be best to move on.

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After all, “proving” to OP that they were “adopted” won’t exactly achieve anything and, similarly, OP convincing the hundreds of commenters to change their own, internal definition of “adoption” will also just be a waste of time. “Live and let live” might, ultimately, be the best-case scenario for all involved.

Some thought OP was in the right

But others believed that they went too far or that the entire situation was just a misunderstanding

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