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Woman Moves To A Spiritual Community, Abandoning Kids, Is Upset It Backfires Years Later
Interview With Expert
A new member being born into the family is exciting for everyone. Whether you’re a big sister, grandfather, aunt or cousin to the new baby, you will likely be thrilled to welcome them into the world and spoil them at every opportunity you get. But it’s completely up to the parents when you’ll be allowed to meet their little one.
One mother posted on Reddit detailing the frustrations she experienced after being told that she wasn’t allowed to visit her daughter for the birth of her grandchild. But many readers understood exactly why she wasn’t given a warm welcome. Below, you’ll find the full story, as well as a conversation with parenting expert Amy Morrison, Founder of Pregnant Chicken.
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Welcoming a new family member into the world is extremely exciting for grandparents
Image credits: Kampus Production / pexels (not the actual photo)
But when this woman was told that she wouldn’t be allowed to attend her grandbaby’s birth, she was heartbroken and confused
Image credits: Andrea Piacquadio / pexels (not the actual photo)
Image credits: ThrowRA29573758
“Every relationship is different when it comes to grandparents”
For many moms and dads out there, the day that they became a parent was one of the best days of their life. After waiting about 9 months (or sometimes even years!), they finally got the chance to hold their beloved little one in their arms. And for a moment, all of the stress and physical pain didn’t matter. Everything became about loving that precious little child.
But it’s only a matter of time before everyone in your life will be begging to see your baby, which can quickly become overwhelming. And while some parents might not mind having their own parents waiting in hospital or babysitting their older siblings during the birth, others might prefer to enjoy some special one-on-one time with the newest member of the family for several weeks.
To gain more insight into this situation from a mother and parenting expert, we reached out to Amy Morrison, Founder of Pregnant Chicken. Amy was kind enough to have a chat with Bored Panda and discuss the roles that grandparents have when a new member of the family is born.
“Every relationship is different when it comes to grandparents. Some grandparents are very involved and close, while others have zero contact, and both are perfectly normal,” she shared.
Image credits: Jonathan Borba / pexels (not the actual photo)
“Being a grandparent is not an automatic access ticket to any grandchildren, especially if the relationship with your children is stained or difficult”
Amy also noted that being present at someone’s birth is a privilege, not a right. “Being a grandparent is not an automatic access ticket to any grandchildren, especially if the relationship with your children is stained or difficult,” the expert says. “Childbirth is hard, and the postpartum period can be exhausting and stressful.”
“New parents need people who will help them (not hinder them), so it might not be a great idea to have grandparents visit if the relationship isn’t close or healthy,” Amy added.
But thankfully, the parenting expert says grandparents can be a great help when there’s a new baby, even if they are far away. “Whether it’s sending gift cards for food or listening without judgment during those early days, it can easily be done from a distance,” Amy noted. “If their 3 a.m. is your noon, you might be the perfect person to chat with during those lonely hours.”
She shared some wise words for new grandparents as well. “My biggest advice is to take your cues from the new parents. It can be a hard, painful awakening to find out that the relationship you have with your children isn’t the relationship they have with you,” Amy says. “It’s a great opportunity for you to figure out how to heal that and move towards having a great relationship with both your kids and grandkids.”
Image credits: Isaac Taylor / pexels (not the actual photo)
Infants have very fragile immune systems and shouldn’t be in contact with too many people
It’s also important to consider the newborn’s health before deciding to have visitors. Johns Hopkins Medicine notes on their site that it’s wise to make extended family and friends wait two or three months before visiting your little one, as their immune system will be incredibly weak in their first few weeks. Germs that wouldn’t affect us adults at all might take a much larger toll on an infant, so it’s best to limit their risk of developing infections.
It’s crucial for anyone who is in contact with a newborn to wash their hands first, and it’s recommended to remove any jewelry from the hands as well. As tempting as it may be to kiss the newborn’s cute noggin, visitors should refrain from getting their faces too close to the little one, as our mouths have many germs.
Wearing a mask around a newborn is never a bad idea. And if you’ve had any signs of illness or been around anyone who was ill recently, wait a few weeks before visiting the newest member of the family.
We would love to hear your thoughts on this situation in the comments below, pandas. Do you think this grandmother got a reality check that she needed, or was her daughter being too harsh? Feel free to share, and then if you’d like to read another Bored Panda piece discussing similar themes, look no further than right here.
Image credits: RDNE Stock project / pexels (not the actual photo)
Many readers took the daughter’s side and explained to her mother exactly why she’s in this situation
However, some were more sympathetic towards the grandmother
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What do you think ?
Jan Dunn 4 months ago
Sedona is one of the most expensive places in the United States to live. They have passed a law that it's legal to live in your car because service staff can't afford to live there. She can afford to live in Sedona then she can afford a hotel room. Nobody has the right to be at a birth unless they're invited. In a month is unreasonable for any house guest.
Otto Katz 4 months ago
She left when her daughter was 20? Left an abusive alcoholic man 12 years her senior when it sounds like her daughter was a junior in college, and that's abandonment? Some parents kick their kids out at 18. I don't think either of these people are a******s, but both need therapy. Daughter, to get over her misplaced feelings of abandonment, mom to get over her ptsd from being married to an abusive a*****e. Then family therapy to find a better relationship where they can talk honestly to each other. I feel badly for both of them.
ValdaDeDieu 4 months ago (edited)
OP "left to go live her own life."... Her daughter gets to "live her own life, on her terms" END OF STORY. OP is TA here for even expecting her daughter to not have her own boundaries. Abusive husband or not; 12 years older or not - none of that is her daughter's responsibility, or fault. Her daughter gets to choose what's best for herself. PERIOD.
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Jan Dunn 4 months ago
Sedona is one of the most expensive places in the United States to live. They have passed a law that it's legal to live in your car because service staff can't afford to live there. She can afford to live in Sedona then she can afford a hotel room. Nobody has the right to be at a birth unless they're invited. In a month is unreasonable for any house guest.
Otto Katz 4 months ago
She left when her daughter was 20? Left an abusive alcoholic man 12 years her senior when it sounds like her daughter was a junior in college, and that's abandonment? Some parents kick their kids out at 18. I don't think either of these people are a******s, but both need therapy. Daughter, to get over her misplaced feelings of abandonment, mom to get over her ptsd from being married to an abusive a*****e. Then family therapy to find a better relationship where they can talk honestly to each other. I feel badly for both of them.
ValdaDeDieu 4 months ago (edited)
OP "left to go live her own life."... Her daughter gets to "live her own life, on her terms" END OF STORY. OP is TA here for even expecting her daughter to not have her own boundaries. Abusive husband or not; 12 years older or not - none of that is her daughter's responsibility, or fault. Her daughter gets to choose what's best for herself. PERIOD.
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