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142
“I Love Being Skinny”: Woman Shocked After Getting Slapped In The Face By Plus-Size Acquaintance
Interview With ExpertSay it with me, ‘It’s never okay to comment on other people’s bodies.’ Whether positive or negative, remarks on someone’s appearance can cause them to feel insecure and less confident about themselves. Since we don’t know what people are going through, it’s better to refrain from offering any observations on others’ looks.
Unfortunately, this birthday guest didn’t get the memo. Every year during the celebration, she would meet a woman and comment on how skinny she was. Growing tired of receiving remarks on her appearance, the woman came up with a perfect reply, which shockingly earned her a slap on the face.
Scroll down to find the full story and conversation with Rachel Goldberg, LMFT, PMH-C, a licensed therapist specializing in eating disorders in Los Angeles, CA, who kindly agreed to tell us more about how comments on our bodies affect us.
RELATED:
Whether positive or negative, it’s never okay to comment on someone else’s body
Image credits: pe_jo / Freepik (not the actual photo)
Unfortunately, this woman didn’t get the memo and caused quite the scene during a birthday party
Image credits: kues1 / Freepik (not the actual photo)
Image credits: Heavenstobestie
57% of young people receive comments about their appearance at least once a week
Image credits: stockking / freepik (not the actual photo)
57% of young people receive comments about their appearance at least once a week. 76% of those who do worry about their looks just as frequently, the Verywell Mind survey suggests. This means that remarks related to our looks can disturb our self-image and make us think negatively about ourselves and our bodies.
“Commenting on someone’s body inevitably brings their own body’s appearance to the forefront of their mind, perpetuating a cycle of self-evaluation and comparison to others,” explains licensed therapist specializing in eating disorders, Rachel Goldberg, LMFT, PMH-C.
“Keeping that focus reinforces societal beauty standards and can contribute to body dissatisfaction or even intensify disordered eating behaviors. Even when comments are intended to be positive or in a self-conscious way, they still shift attention toward external appearance rather than internal qualities.”
Seemingly innocent comments on people’s appearance can have very harmful consequences because we don’t know the reason behind how a person looks. The individual who lost or gained weight could be grieving, recovering from health issues, experiencing depression, or battling with an eating disorder. Reminding them of their struggles can make them feel even more self-conscious and stressed out.
Unfortunately, too many people toss comments on other people’s appearance as if it were natural, genuinely meaning them with no awareness of why it might be harmful. “As we grow up, we’re constantly exposed to judgment—whether through media, peers, or even our parents. One of the most visible and easily criticized aspects of a person is their body, making it a common topic of interest,” said Goldberg.
“The tendency to judge or bond over criticizing others easily leads to conversations about appearance. Also, for some, commenting on someone else’s body can be a way to cope with their own insecurities, while for others, it may serve as a source of motivation when they admire a particular person’s body.”
If you can’t find something nice to say, it’s better to say nothing at all
Image credits: stockking / freepik (not the actual photo)
Instead of focusing on people’s physical appearance and making them feel conscious about it, we should move our attention to their character, talents, values, humor, and strength.
“A great way to compliment someone without focusing on appearance is to acknowledge their dedication to something they’re passionate about, mentioning that you view it as inspiring,” agrees Goldberg.
“Complimenting their positive outlook and the way their presence brightens your day can also be a kind acknowledgment. Highlighting their creativity—such as their sense of style, how they design their home or their out-of-the-box problem-solving skills—shows you are seeing something about them deeper than their external look.”
Dr. Elizabeth Wassenaar, regional medical director at the Eating Recovery Center, also suggests replacing appearance-related words with verbs signifying action. For instance, “You look so happy when you’re doing that,” “I wish I could be there with you, joining you in that activity” or “Gosh, it looks like the sun is warm, and you’re really enjoying it.”
By making this change, a person is moving from judgment to taking the time to engage with others and the environment they’re in, fostering a connection and a better relationship with them. “It doesn’t have a thing to do with whether their body is acceptable to society or not,” Wassenaar said.
When in doubt, we should all just try to stick by this rule: if you can’t find something nice to say, it’s better to say nothing at all.
Most readers believed that the original poster’s reply was justified
While some thought it was uncalled for
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What do you think ?
Ge Po 11 months ago
And there probably isn't any other way she could have responded that wouldn't have had the same result, except for keep suffering on in silence. Which, in my opinion, wasn't an option either. It sounds like 'Amanda' has issues for which she used OP as punching bag. If that punching bag stops being a complete softy in an attempt to stay upright and therefore starts showing at least some mass (because what she said in return was very decent in my opinion), 'Amanda' gets herself hurt. That's not the punching bag's fault.
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Sue Denham 11 months ago
"Yeah, I guess I am skinny, but it could be worse. Imagine if I was one of those people who are, you know, rude."
MegDragon 11 months ago
“I may be fat, but you’re mean and I can diet.” - my mom
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Kate Johnson 11 months ago
Don't make personal comments about other people's body's and you won't run into this problem. I would have called the cops and had her arrested. The "friend" is NOT her friend.
Thanos'Fingers 11 months ago
Lol I'd text the friend and let her know you would be using her text messages as evidence of the assault for your report. Let them scramble and try to make you the bad guy after you've clearly pointed out the literal crime.
Load More Replies... Susie Elle 11 months ago
Amanda's a d**k, and should consider therapy for her insecurities, ESPECIALLY if they drive her to assault people.
Laura Slade 11 months ago (edited)
So it's Ok to be thin shamed but not fat shamed? How about women stop critiquing each other FFS
Nathan Lewis 11 months ago
That last YTA is so oblivious its hilarious. I'm not skinny, I'm built for the cost of living crisis.
LukewarmSoymilk 11 months ago
Did the last YTA even read the story? "The size of other people is not your business and it's called bodyshaming" - sooooo, what Amanda has been doing to OP for *years*?
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Ryan-James O'Driscoll 11 months ago
If you make comments about my weight I am going to respond in kind. Do not dish it out of you can't take it. I am not going to try to be all prissy and nice to spare a bullies feelings
sturmwesen 11 months ago
NTA... it's her insecurity not yours and you did not say she is overweight
Featherytoad 11 months ago (edited)
My late husbands aunt (also deceased) used to like to tell me how skinny I was, but that was as far as it would go. It was annoying and uncomfortable. His best friend also liked to comment on my toothpick legs. I now only wear shorts that come down to right above my knees when I go out or if someone comes over. Whether you're skinny of fat, it affects you. I can't help it, it's my bone structure and metabolism. I would love to get some meat on my thighs and a*s. I would love to have an a*s.
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Winnie the Moo 11 months ago
She SLAPPED her and the childhood ‘friend’ didn’t stand up to her??
Pink kitty 11 months ago
Sad as it is, some friends drift apart as they move in different directions as life goes on. If your childhood friend invites you again to her party send a card. She probably sees Amanda regularly so feels the need to be loyal to her over you. Amanda was rude, assaulted you and your childhood friend supports her. You deserve better. Forget them and have a good life without them
Royal Stray 11 months ago (edited)
There is a double standard, it's somehow OK for people to constantly comment on being skinny and how horrible that is. If you can't handle someone being confident with how they look, or you can't handle someone talking about your weight , then don't bring up looks or weight. OP is very much in the right here. OP should think about if she really wants this "friend" around considering how she's defending this other woman who is constantly on OP's case, and now slapped her when she gave a reasonable response.
Daria 11 months ago
As a skinny person, I've heard all sorts of comment from more generously built ladies, only some of them positive. The best approach for me is to plainly draw a boundary by saying "commenting on other people's appearance without their asking is rude", and then see how they respond. Most often they stay away from this topic after this warning. If they don't stop, it means I'm now free to comment on theirs because they are clearly asking for it now, but the moral high ground is mine :D
Lailu 11 months ago (edited)
Some people are just skinny. It might be from awesome genes or it could be for a more sinister reason, such as they're deathly ill; they have an eating disorder (which fits into category A, but you know what I mean). Someone recently said to me "hey, have you lost weight?" The only reason said person didn't get the honest truth of "Yeah! Thanks! I was actually in a bout of suicidal depression but I look awesome, right?" was that I know she has had her own crappy serious losses in her family and she's the type that would genuinely mean losing weight as a compliment.
Lailu 11 months ago
What I mean to say here is skinny-shaming is a thing and skinny people aren't being skinny "at you". If you flipped it and said half the things an overweight person cops you'd be an a*****e (and rightfully so). Doesn't mean that skinny people deserve the opposite.
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talliloo 11 months ago
i have had a somewhat similar experience regarding weight. i have always been on the heavier side. not obese but most definitely not within the normal weight range for my height. the comments i got were off-handed as they involved my significant other(s). most of the men i dated, including my ex husband, were very fit men as they worked out and were blessed with great metabolism. the comments would be targeted to me as in 'you are so lucky to have so-and-so as a boyfriend. he is so hot' to overhearing comments of 'why is he with her when he could get someone better'. used to bother me but no longer. the last time i was subjected to such a comment i responded with something like 'you're right-he is in good condition and his only complaint regarding my weight was when i sit on his face he can't hear the stereo'. pretty much silenced the room for a moment but it ended the topic.
Upstaged75 11 months ago
If you assault me I'm calling the police! You don't have the right to hit people, no matter what they say.
Paul Rabit 11 months ago
100% do not agree with the assault, but the whole situation could have been resolved long ago with a simple "This is the second time you have commented on my arms and honestly it makes me really uncomfortable - please don't do it anymore."
Orysha 11 months ago
Op should have slapped back that fat b***h.. Anyone putting hands on me wins a free tricket to the hospital (yes violence is the answer to violence) Don't do the crime if you can't do the time;
Thanos'Fingers 11 months ago
Lol I'm just picturing this party of 19 obese women diving on top of you all at once. Good luck with that approach in enemy territory.
Load More Replies... Weasel Wise 11 months ago
It's not okay to comment on a big person, but, for some reason, people think it's okay to comment on someone's thin frame. I'm tall and have always been on the thinner side so it's really noticeable if I lose any weight. As a server, when I tell someone something is delicious, they'll comment "oh, you can eat that, you're skinny" or people will outright ask "how do you stay so thin"? I've finally gotten over trying to find a comfortable way out of things like this by being honest, "It's really easy to stay this thin when you are chronically ill and have an eating disorder since childhood." This always shuts people up, every single time. Idk if they get the notion to stop commenting on ANYONE'S body, but whatever.
KatSaidWhat 10 months ago
Former uber-skinny here who also got tired of those comments and particularly the offers to share your body fat. And yes, some rotund b***h did get offended when I asked her why she thought I would want her second hand fat to ruin my 6 pack. Skinny shaming is just as bad as fat shaming and you have NO IDEA if there is an underlying eating disorder you might trigger.
Ruth Watry 10 months ago
She tried to shame you for how you look - and you essentially said that you like how you look. This is no different than somebody trying to shame somebody for having blue or purple hair, and that person saying that they like their hair color.
Grace Note 10 months ago
Amanda has huge issues and assaulting someone because you don't like what they said is never okay. The skinny thing can be a real pain and will be commented on a lot by the wrong sort of people. Due to serious illness last year I now weigh less than 100lbs and have had to tell a friend that I love her but if she tells me that my legs are so thin and I need to do something about it one more time I will lose my s**t because there is nothing I can do to suddenly make them less thin and that will hopefully come with time. Or it won't and she'll have to get used to looking at my string beans legs just like I have to get used to having them. Unlike Amanda she isn't mean just didn't get it and now she does. I've told some people to f-off with their comments.
Surly Scot 11 months ago
File police report for assault. Cut off childhood friend who obviously has no respect for OP and is fine with her being physically abused, as well as surrounding herself with a bunch of awful women who advocate bullying and shaming, but not standing up for ones self. Toss that whole group of people away. I was 200lbs/size 16 most of my life, then finally sorted out my self esteem issues and dropped to 124lbs/size zero. To this day I don't coddle fat peoples feelings, because I used to be one, and I didn't need to be told "love your body", i needed to be told "PUT DOWN THE FUC*ING FORK AND DEAL WITH YOUR ISSUES".
Reta Murphy 11 months ago
I am an overweight older woman. My granddaughter is very tall and slim. More people harrass her than me. Can't fat shame anymore but boy can you skinny shame. Ms. Chubbles, yes I just called her that, was in the wrong for starting it and all the so called friends were in the wrong for allowing her to do it. Hats off to OP.
Denise Melek 11 months ago (edited)
Once had this overweight friend who got mad at me (normal weight) when I said I want to cut down on cookies bc my a*s is getting fat. She send me dozens of links to feminist websites and told me I would insult myself and every other woman who is bigger than me. When I told her it's my body and I choose, how I feel good with it, she blocked me. Found out recently she lost a lot of weight and is trying to work as an eating coach. Should I send her the list of the websites back?
ADDchallengedINFP-T 11 months ago
I am overweight, and envious of people who are skinny and can eat anything. It's not easy to lose weight, but I believe that gaining is harder. I have one friend who is struggling just like me, and two other who are the opposite. We never, ever talk to another about their weight. I cannot imagine how difficult it is for this OP to listen to Amandas Insults, which I think they are. Lucky you, you didn't work at my work place. I like being skinny was a perfect reply.
TheReader19 11 months ago
As a fat woman, (because let's be honest here) you should have punched her lights out. Because why does she get to say s**t, and you can't even say you love being skinny?
Paulina 11 months ago
As a person who was bullied for being skinny (too skinny apparently; not by choice) consistently until my late 20s, I'm going with the firm NTA. Yeah, being thin is generally more accepted by society, but it still doesn't mean it's OK to comment or judge on that. It's not "different". The point is not to tiptoe specifically around larger people, but to shut up about all people's shapes and sizes! Additionally, there was nothing insulting in OP's reply whatsoever. It was a bit surly, but it wasn't commenting on anyone other than OP herself. And finally: NO words require or justify response in physical assault!!
Schmebulock 11 months ago
I feel like being overweight is getting the same craptastic treatment as "reverse racism" (where a white person plays the victim). No one should be fat shamed but we absolutely should not be glorifying obesity. It's a serious problem with serious health consequences.
Seedy Vine 11 months ago
OP, you were assaulted. That's always WAY worse than saying words people don't like to hear. She's lucky you didn't get the authorities involved. And your other friends suck.
ElfVibratorGlitter 11 months ago
I'm honestly not sure how I would have handled it. Most of the time if you hit me, I'm gonna hit you right back... Except one time in a bar some woman punched me and trying not to escalate it, I decided to just call the cops. Nothing happened. So, back to this... You body shame me, then punch me? Nope.
Broadredpanda 11 months ago
Proper-hippo-6006 you’re an absolute idiot! It’s ok for this girl to comment of her size mercilessly??? I’m super thin and hate it and always have! How dare someone who’s unhappy with her own weight, put down someone else’s? The YTAs are absolutely pathetic and you’re the worst of them! How dare she slap her as well? Honestly you are this type of person and would play victim after putting someone down for the person to retaliate and thank them for that comment, for you to just smack someone for doing ABSOLUTELY NOTHING but agreeing with the b***h who couldn’t stand her response that didn’t involve her saying anything bad to her. What planet are you from that thinks it’s ok to constantly put someone down? Is it ok because she was overweight? Is it ok because she’s overweight and nothing should be said to her because of that? What a load of bollocks!!
Nova Rook 11 months ago
Amanda is a horrible person. My wife has always been very thin and I've always been bothered by feminists who say things like "real women have curves" which I get makes them feel good about themselves, which is nice, but trashes a whole swath of ladies who have done nothing wrong. So maddening.
st4x2gt974 11 months ago
As a “skinny” person NOTHING makes me more annoyed or insecure than when people comment either to my face or behind my back regarding my body. After I put on a little weight I had a childhood friend’s mom “compliment” me that my body is “exactly the right size now” but what I heard was, “I have been scrutinizing your appearance relentlessly and I’ve concluded that this is how you should look”. Other favorites are fellow parents (I. e. Married men who are Dads) make the comment that I’d be way more attractive if I put a little weight on. Like LOL that you’re worrying about me and not your wife or your potbelly.
Johnnynatfan 11 months ago
We have enabled fat people to think that they can behave this way with no repercussions.
meeeeeeeeeeee 11 months ago
...I think she'd have been better saying ''You're so fat.'' after the skinny comments. Hope she presses charges on the c**t.
Alexandra 11 months ago
It's simple: Amanda opened the door and OP just walked through it. Then Amanda became upset and, since she's does't have any self-control, she slapped the person who just gave her tit-for-tat. Also, I fail to see why someone saying they love to be skinny can be seen as an insult to you. It means that, after all, you're not comfortable with yourself. If you're not, then you should do something about it instead of acting out like a spoiled toddler.
LukewarmSoymilk 11 months ago
As a plus sized person myself, fvck Amanda, honestly. Her violent reaction only proved she has been insulting OP with her backhanded compliments all the time. I see how one might read passive-aggressiveness into OP's answer, but in my eyes, they did nothing wrong and handled the situation with grace. Maybe don't comment on people's bodies in the first place, full stop.
Kate Johnson 11 months ago
Actually being fat was the least of this dimwit's problems. She's also violent and stupid and actually belongs in jail for assault.
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Ge Po 11 months ago
And there probably isn't any other way she could have responded that wouldn't have had the same result, except for keep suffering on in silence. Which, in my opinion, wasn't an option either. It sounds like 'Amanda' has issues for which she used OP as punching bag. If that punching bag stops being a complete softy in an attempt to stay upright and therefore starts showing at least some mass (because what she said in return was very decent in my opinion), 'Amanda' gets herself hurt. That's not the punching bag's fault.
Load More Replies... Sue Denham 11 months ago
"Yeah, I guess I am skinny, but it could be worse. Imagine if I was one of those people who are, you know, rude."
MegDragon 11 months ago
“I may be fat, but you’re mean and I can diet.” - my mom
Load More Replies... Kate Johnson 11 months ago
Don't make personal comments about other people's body's and you won't run into this problem. I would have called the cops and had her arrested. The "friend" is NOT her friend.
Thanos'Fingers 11 months ago
Lol I'd text the friend and let her know you would be using her text messages as evidence of the assault for your report. Let them scramble and try to make you the bad guy after you've clearly pointed out the literal crime.
Load More Replies... Susie Elle 11 months ago
Amanda's a d**k, and should consider therapy for her insecurities, ESPECIALLY if they drive her to assault people.
Laura Slade 11 months ago (edited)
So it's Ok to be thin shamed but not fat shamed? How about women stop critiquing each other FFS
Nathan Lewis 11 months ago
That last YTA is so oblivious its hilarious. I'm not skinny, I'm built for the cost of living crisis.
LukewarmSoymilk 11 months ago
Did the last YTA even read the story? "The size of other people is not your business and it's called bodyshaming" - sooooo, what Amanda has been doing to OP for *years*?
Load More Replies... Ryan-James O'Driscoll 11 months ago
If you make comments about my weight I am going to respond in kind. Do not dish it out of you can't take it. I am not going to try to be all prissy and nice to spare a bullies feelings
sturmwesen 11 months ago
NTA... it's her insecurity not yours and you did not say she is overweight
Featherytoad 11 months ago (edited)
My late husbands aunt (also deceased) used to like to tell me how skinny I was, but that was as far as it would go. It was annoying and uncomfortable. His best friend also liked to comment on my toothpick legs. I now only wear shorts that come down to right above my knees when I go out or if someone comes over. Whether you're skinny of fat, it affects you. I can't help it, it's my bone structure and metabolism. I would love to get some meat on my thighs and a*s. I would love to have an a*s.
Load More Replies... Winnie the Moo 11 months ago
She SLAPPED her and the childhood ‘friend’ didn’t stand up to her??
Pink kitty 11 months ago
Sad as it is, some friends drift apart as they move in different directions as life goes on. If your childhood friend invites you again to her party send a card. She probably sees Amanda regularly so feels the need to be loyal to her over you. Amanda was rude, assaulted you and your childhood friend supports her. You deserve better. Forget them and have a good life without them
Royal Stray 11 months ago (edited)
There is a double standard, it's somehow OK for people to constantly comment on being skinny and how horrible that is. If you can't handle someone being confident with how they look, or you can't handle someone talking about your weight , then don't bring up looks or weight. OP is very much in the right here. OP should think about if she really wants this "friend" around considering how she's defending this other woman who is constantly on OP's case, and now slapped her when she gave a reasonable response.
Daria 11 months ago
As a skinny person, I've heard all sorts of comment from more generously built ladies, only some of them positive. The best approach for me is to plainly draw a boundary by saying "commenting on other people's appearance without their asking is rude", and then see how they respond. Most often they stay away from this topic after this warning. If they don't stop, it means I'm now free to comment on theirs because they are clearly asking for it now, but the moral high ground is mine :D
Lailu 11 months ago (edited)
Some people are just skinny. It might be from awesome genes or it could be for a more sinister reason, such as they're deathly ill; they have an eating disorder (which fits into category A, but you know what I mean). Someone recently said to me "hey, have you lost weight?" The only reason said person didn't get the honest truth of "Yeah! Thanks! I was actually in a bout of suicidal depression but I look awesome, right?" was that I know she has had her own crappy serious losses in her family and she's the type that would genuinely mean losing weight as a compliment.
Lailu 11 months ago
What I mean to say here is skinny-shaming is a thing and skinny people aren't being skinny "at you". If you flipped it and said half the things an overweight person cops you'd be an a*****e (and rightfully so). Doesn't mean that skinny people deserve the opposite.
Load More Replies... talliloo 11 months ago
i have had a somewhat similar experience regarding weight. i have always been on the heavier side. not obese but most definitely not within the normal weight range for my height. the comments i got were off-handed as they involved my significant other(s). most of the men i dated, including my ex husband, were very fit men as they worked out and were blessed with great metabolism. the comments would be targeted to me as in 'you are so lucky to have so-and-so as a boyfriend. he is so hot' to overhearing comments of 'why is he with her when he could get someone better'. used to bother me but no longer. the last time i was subjected to such a comment i responded with something like 'you're right-he is in good condition and his only complaint regarding my weight was when i sit on his face he can't hear the stereo'. pretty much silenced the room for a moment but it ended the topic.
Upstaged75 11 months ago
If you assault me I'm calling the police! You don't have the right to hit people, no matter what they say.
Paul Rabit 11 months ago
100% do not agree with the assault, but the whole situation could have been resolved long ago with a simple "This is the second time you have commented on my arms and honestly it makes me really uncomfortable - please don't do it anymore."
Orysha 11 months ago
Op should have slapped back that fat b***h.. Anyone putting hands on me wins a free tricket to the hospital (yes violence is the answer to violence) Don't do the crime if you can't do the time;
Thanos'Fingers 11 months ago
Lol I'm just picturing this party of 19 obese women diving on top of you all at once. Good luck with that approach in enemy territory.
Load More Replies... Weasel Wise 11 months ago
It's not okay to comment on a big person, but, for some reason, people think it's okay to comment on someone's thin frame. I'm tall and have always been on the thinner side so it's really noticeable if I lose any weight. As a server, when I tell someone something is delicious, they'll comment "oh, you can eat that, you're skinny" or people will outright ask "how do you stay so thin"? I've finally gotten over trying to find a comfortable way out of things like this by being honest, "It's really easy to stay this thin when you are chronically ill and have an eating disorder since childhood." This always shuts people up, every single time. Idk if they get the notion to stop commenting on ANYONE'S body, but whatever.
KatSaidWhat 10 months ago
Former uber-skinny here who also got tired of those comments and particularly the offers to share your body fat. And yes, some rotund b***h did get offended when I asked her why she thought I would want her second hand fat to ruin my 6 pack. Skinny shaming is just as bad as fat shaming and you have NO IDEA if there is an underlying eating disorder you might trigger.
Ruth Watry 10 months ago
She tried to shame you for how you look - and you essentially said that you like how you look. This is no different than somebody trying to shame somebody for having blue or purple hair, and that person saying that they like their hair color.
Grace Note 10 months ago
Amanda has huge issues and assaulting someone because you don't like what they said is never okay. The skinny thing can be a real pain and will be commented on a lot by the wrong sort of people. Due to serious illness last year I now weigh less than 100lbs and have had to tell a friend that I love her but if she tells me that my legs are so thin and I need to do something about it one more time I will lose my s**t because there is nothing I can do to suddenly make them less thin and that will hopefully come with time. Or it won't and she'll have to get used to looking at my string beans legs just like I have to get used to having them. Unlike Amanda she isn't mean just didn't get it and now she does. I've told some people to f-off with their comments.
Surly Scot 11 months ago
File police report for assault. Cut off childhood friend who obviously has no respect for OP and is fine with her being physically abused, as well as surrounding herself with a bunch of awful women who advocate bullying and shaming, but not standing up for ones self. Toss that whole group of people away. I was 200lbs/size 16 most of my life, then finally sorted out my self esteem issues and dropped to 124lbs/size zero. To this day I don't coddle fat peoples feelings, because I used to be one, and I didn't need to be told "love your body", i needed to be told "PUT DOWN THE FUC*ING FORK AND DEAL WITH YOUR ISSUES".
Reta Murphy 11 months ago
I am an overweight older woman. My granddaughter is very tall and slim. More people harrass her than me. Can't fat shame anymore but boy can you skinny shame. Ms. Chubbles, yes I just called her that, was in the wrong for starting it and all the so called friends were in the wrong for allowing her to do it. Hats off to OP.
Denise Melek 11 months ago (edited)
Once had this overweight friend who got mad at me (normal weight) when I said I want to cut down on cookies bc my a*s is getting fat. She send me dozens of links to feminist websites and told me I would insult myself and every other woman who is bigger than me. When I told her it's my body and I choose, how I feel good with it, she blocked me. Found out recently she lost a lot of weight and is trying to work as an eating coach. Should I send her the list of the websites back?
ADDchallengedINFP-T 11 months ago
I am overweight, and envious of people who are skinny and can eat anything. It's not easy to lose weight, but I believe that gaining is harder. I have one friend who is struggling just like me, and two other who are the opposite. We never, ever talk to another about their weight. I cannot imagine how difficult it is for this OP to listen to Amandas Insults, which I think they are. Lucky you, you didn't work at my work place. I like being skinny was a perfect reply.
TheReader19 11 months ago
As a fat woman, (because let's be honest here) you should have punched her lights out. Because why does she get to say s**t, and you can't even say you love being skinny?
Paulina 11 months ago
As a person who was bullied for being skinny (too skinny apparently; not by choice) consistently until my late 20s, I'm going with the firm NTA. Yeah, being thin is generally more accepted by society, but it still doesn't mean it's OK to comment or judge on that. It's not "different". The point is not to tiptoe specifically around larger people, but to shut up about all people's shapes and sizes! Additionally, there was nothing insulting in OP's reply whatsoever. It was a bit surly, but it wasn't commenting on anyone other than OP herself. And finally: NO words require or justify response in physical assault!!
Schmebulock 11 months ago
I feel like being overweight is getting the same craptastic treatment as "reverse racism" (where a white person plays the victim). No one should be fat shamed but we absolutely should not be glorifying obesity. It's a serious problem with serious health consequences.
Seedy Vine 11 months ago
OP, you were assaulted. That's always WAY worse than saying words people don't like to hear. She's lucky you didn't get the authorities involved. And your other friends suck.
ElfVibratorGlitter 11 months ago
I'm honestly not sure how I would have handled it. Most of the time if you hit me, I'm gonna hit you right back... Except one time in a bar some woman punched me and trying not to escalate it, I decided to just call the cops. Nothing happened. So, back to this... You body shame me, then punch me? Nope.
Broadredpanda 11 months ago
Proper-hippo-6006 you’re an absolute idiot! It’s ok for this girl to comment of her size mercilessly??? I’m super thin and hate it and always have! How dare someone who’s unhappy with her own weight, put down someone else’s? The YTAs are absolutely pathetic and you’re the worst of them! How dare she slap her as well? Honestly you are this type of person and would play victim after putting someone down for the person to retaliate and thank them for that comment, for you to just smack someone for doing ABSOLUTELY NOTHING but agreeing with the b***h who couldn’t stand her response that didn’t involve her saying anything bad to her. What planet are you from that thinks it’s ok to constantly put someone down? Is it ok because she was overweight? Is it ok because she’s overweight and nothing should be said to her because of that? What a load of bollocks!!
Nova Rook 11 months ago
Amanda is a horrible person. My wife has always been very thin and I've always been bothered by feminists who say things like "real women have curves" which I get makes them feel good about themselves, which is nice, but trashes a whole swath of ladies who have done nothing wrong. So maddening.
st4x2gt974 11 months ago
As a “skinny” person NOTHING makes me more annoyed or insecure than when people comment either to my face or behind my back regarding my body. After I put on a little weight I had a childhood friend’s mom “compliment” me that my body is “exactly the right size now” but what I heard was, “I have been scrutinizing your appearance relentlessly and I’ve concluded that this is how you should look”. Other favorites are fellow parents (I. e. Married men who are Dads) make the comment that I’d be way more attractive if I put a little weight on. Like LOL that you’re worrying about me and not your wife or your potbelly.
Johnnynatfan 11 months ago
We have enabled fat people to think that they can behave this way with no repercussions.
meeeeeeeeeeee 11 months ago
...I think she'd have been better saying ''You're so fat.'' after the skinny comments. Hope she presses charges on the c**t.
Alexandra 11 months ago
It's simple: Amanda opened the door and OP just walked through it. Then Amanda became upset and, since she's does't have any self-control, she slapped the person who just gave her tit-for-tat. Also, I fail to see why someone saying they love to be skinny can be seen as an insult to you. It means that, after all, you're not comfortable with yourself. If you're not, then you should do something about it instead of acting out like a spoiled toddler.
LukewarmSoymilk 11 months ago
As a plus sized person myself, fvck Amanda, honestly. Her violent reaction only proved she has been insulting OP with her backhanded compliments all the time. I see how one might read passive-aggressiveness into OP's answer, but in my eyes, they did nothing wrong and handled the situation with grace. Maybe don't comment on people's bodies in the first place, full stop.
Kate Johnson 11 months ago
Actually being fat was the least of this dimwit's problems. She's also violent and stupid and actually belongs in jail for assault.
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