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“A Blessing In Disguise”: Everyday Women Flaunt Their “Ugly Privilege” Online
“Being ugly is a blessing in disguise.”
A group of young women are taking to TikTok to explain why they feel satisfied with what they refer to as “ugly privilege.”
The common thread among these individuals is their belief that not conforming to societal beauty standards for women protects them from being objectified by men.
Highlights
- Young women on TikTok believe "ugly privilege" protects them from being objectified by men.
- Women with "ugly privilege" feel safer from catcalling and unwanted male attention, as well as when doing activities alone at night.
- TikTok videos on the topic have sparked widespread discussion, with many women sharing their experiences.
“Why do I feel like being ugly is a privilege?” asked @eatsleepandrepent online. “I don’t need to worry about being catcalled. It’s so much safer with this look. If you’re average-looking or ugly, men treat you like a normal person.
“They don’t try to flirt with you; they talk to you in a normal tone,” she continued. “They don’t see you as a woman; they see you as a human. And that is a good thing cause not every woman wants to be hit on by random men.”
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A group of women has taken to TikTok to defend what they refer to as “ugly privilege”
Image credits: Priscilla Du Preez 🇨🇦
@eatsleepandrepent added that she has a “good-looking friend” who gets flirtatious messages from men daily, a situation that makes her feel really uncomfortable.
Another reason why the young woman feels thankful for her “average” looks is that she can impress people more easily.
“When you’re ugly, average, or not physically attractive, people don’t put too much expectations on you. So, when you do something great, that’s unpredictable, and it shocks people.”
Image credits: cottonbro studio
According to a multidisciplinary study published in the US National Library of Medicine, physically attractive individuals are more likely to be interviewed for jobs and hired, they are more likely to advance rapidly in their careers through frequent promotions, and they earn higher wages than people considered unattractive.
Appearance-based discrimination may include bias against obese and tattooed candidates or anyone who doesn’t fit society’s dominant definition of beauty.
“Biases in favor of attractive women appear to be more consistent or stronger than those in favor of attractive men,” the study notes.
In a similar fashion, model Willow Allen made a video describing her “pretty girl privilege,” which includes free meals at restaurants or getting into nightclubs without paying a cent.
Not conforming to societal beauty standards allows them to feel protected from unwanted male attention
Image credits: sarahs.tok
Image credits: sarahs.tok
Image credits: sarahs.tok
Another “Plain Jane” benefit listed by @eatsleepandrepent is not appearing as a threat in the eyes of Gigi Hadid-looking women. “I know some pretty women out there who see other pretty women as their competitors,” she says. “If you’re ugly, average, or not physically attractive, you’re harmless, and they don’t see you as their rivals, so you can easily become friends.”
“For the most part, men think I’m ugly, and they leave me alone, and to me, that’s a privilege,” says user @sarahs.tok
@sarahs.tok just a little explanation of what i mean when i say i have “ugly privilege”. #uglyprivilege #letmeexplain #doesthismakesense ♬ original sound – Sarah
Similarly, user @sarahs.tok shares the idea of “ugly privilege” as a shield against unwanted male attention.
“When I say I have ‘ugly privilege,’ it’s not that I necessarily think that I am an ugly individual,” Sarah says. “What I mean by that is men, in general, don’t find me attractive. For the most part, men think I’m ugly, and they leave me alone, and to me, that’s a privilege.”
“I don’t need to worry about being catcalled. It’s so much safer with this look. If you’re average-looking or ugly, men treat you like a normal person,” adds @eatsleepandrepent
@eatsleepandrepent being ugly is a blessing in disguise #beautyprivilege ♬ original sound – rub bunny – MAGDIARY
Other women have commented how not fitting society’s definition of “beautiful” allows them to feel safer while doing activities alone at night, like taking a walk or getting gas for their car.
In the United States, 85% of men report feeling safe when walking alone at night compared to 64% of women, according to the Gallup World Poll. Unless 64% of the female respondents conform to societal beauty standards for women—an unlikely scenario given that this group represents over half of the respondents—it appears that the feeling of unsafety experienced by women does not discriminate based on appearance.
Many have even described “being ugly” as a “blessing”
@emeraldswrlduncut blesssed frr thoooo😫 #fyp #boston #prettyinmyownway ♬ original sound – emeralduncut
@chewonmybaca Being ugly is great, 10/10 #2020Wrapped ♬ original sound – 💖
The TikTokers’ videos on “ugly privilege” received thousands of comments, with many women sharing their experiences of feeling uncomfortable with the male gaze.
“I gained weight and actually really liked no longer having that attention. I never thought about it as ‘ugly privilege,’ but I love this!” one of them wrote.
In the United States, 85% of men report feeling safe when walking alone at night compared to 64% of women
Image credits: MART PRODUCTION
“I used to crave male attention when I was younger, but as I approached 30, I started to realize how nice it was to be basically ignored,” another TikTok user shared
Image credits: RDNE Stock project
The idea of “ugly privilege” questions the notion of “pretty girl privilege”
@jaden.jadunandan 3 signs that you have pretty privilege. #selfimprovement #lifeadvice #prettyprivilege #beauty ♬ Resonance – Home
@willow.allen♬ Blade Runner 2049 – Synthwave Goose
@nocontextyagass Its the little tings #nocontextyagass ♬ original sound – Toxic Superhero
“This is such a great way to see it, thank you. This is a very helpful way to reframe not getting much male attention,” said another.
A third commenter chimed in, “I used to crave male attention when I was younger, but as I approached 30, I started to realize how nice it was to be basically ignored.”
“I have this privilege! Married 22 yrs to a guy who adores me…but I RARELY have to deal with men feeling like I really want to hear from them,” a separate woman added.
“I move around in the background unseen,” another woman commented, agreeing with the idea of there being an “ugly privilege”
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What do you think ?
Nicole 4 months ago
Idk I think that is sort of a dangerous line to go down. That ugly = free from harassment. I remember reading about someone who had accused a man of sexual harassment and there was a shocking amount of comments that were saying this woman was too ugly to have that happen to her. It’s not always about attraction it can be about power and making someone uncomfortable. Some people get off on that 🤷🏻♀️.
Becca not Becky 4 months ago
That was my thought as well. For example, walking alone at night. Muggers don't care if you're pretty or ugly, they care if you're easy and carrying anything of remote value. I also remember when Trump's infamous "locker room" speech was leaked, people didn't believe he would actually harass a woman as unattractive as the one he talked about when he had a hot supermodel for a wife.
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LakotaWolf (she/her) 4 months ago
One of my co-workers at the grocery store used to talk about how she was “happy” that she was “flat-chested” and “ugly” (she wasn't, IMO) and how she was glad because it meant men left her alone. Then she would complain a few minutes later that she didn’t have a boyfriend and how men never talked to her or approached her or asked her out. I never knew what I was supposed to say in those situations, so I just tried to be sympathetic XD I personally think no one is ugly on the outside - we are all just variations on the human theme XD
Nicole 4 months ago
Idk I think that is sort of a dangerous line to go down. That ugly = free from harassment. I remember reading about someone who had accused a man of sexual harassment and there was a shocking amount of comments that were saying this woman was too ugly to have that happen to her. It’s not always about attraction it can be about power and making someone uncomfortable. Some people get off on that 🤷🏻♀️.
Becca not Becky 4 months ago
That was my thought as well. For example, walking alone at night. Muggers don't care if you're pretty or ugly, they care if you're easy and carrying anything of remote value. I also remember when Trump's infamous "locker room" speech was leaked, people didn't believe he would actually harass a woman as unattractive as the one he talked about when he had a hot supermodel for a wife.
Load More Replies... LakotaWolf (she/her) 4 months ago
One of my co-workers at the grocery store used to talk about how she was “happy” that she was “flat-chested” and “ugly” (she wasn't, IMO) and how she was glad because it meant men left her alone. Then she would complain a few minutes later that she didn’t have a boyfriend and how men never talked to her or approached her or asked her out. I never knew what I was supposed to say in those situations, so I just tried to be sympathetic XD I personally think no one is ugly on the outside - we are all just variations on the human theme XD
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