The Choosing Beggars subreddit features a variety of different situations, from people actually begging for money or services to individuals demanding that they receive special treatment from artists who make a living selling their creations. (No, exposure and networking do not pay the bills.) And some of these posts are astonishing. The sheer level of entitlement some people exhibit is ridiculous, but sadly, it is not uncommon. This subreddit has over 2 million members and receives new posts almost constantly. 

The page is flooded with potential landlords offering ridiculous accommodation and people asking photographers to shoot events for free because “there will be a lot of future clients there”. But the moderators do clarify who counts as a “choosy beggar” to keep the group from getting out of control. For example, the beggar must be a “person seeking goods or services at a reduced cost, for free, or for a laughably lopsided trade or a person using social media, dating apps, or otherwise to seek out a specific type of relationship”. 

When it comes to how “choosy” people must be to qualify for a post on the page, the rules state that they must “have unreasonable standards or have a comical sense of entitlement”. I wish that it was not so easy to find people like that, but clearly, the page proves that there are many encounters with choosy beggars every day. When it comes to who does not qualify to be roasted on the page, the moderators have set some more ground rules.

“Unattractive people seeking a normal relationship and having reasonable standards are not a good fit for this sub,” the rules state. “Ugly people are allowed to want a partner with a job, or no kids, or anything else we would consider reasonable for the beautiful people.” The page is not about bullying, so it’s great that there are guidelines. No one will be shamed for how they look; this is an equal opportunity page where anyone who displays gross entitlement has opened themselves up to criticism. 

The rules also clarify that “a person asking for help with life's necessities out of desperation is not a choosingbeggar”. “The person begging must be at least in the gradient of being an entitled jerk, this sub is not a place to mock poverty,” the moderators explain. They provide the example of someone running out of money and asking for gas through a Facebook status so they can make it to work. “They got the beggar part down, but this sub is not /r/beggars so that post wouldn't fit. If that same person turns down someone offering to give them a ride to work because they don't want to be seen in a PT Cruiser, then that post would fit.”

They also explain that, “A parent asking for handouts because their kids want an Xbox for Christmas and the only way that could happen is if someone donates one, that isn't a choosingbeggar.” If a person is begging without a sense of entitlement, they don’t deserve to be shamed on the page. “If that person is offered a Nintendo and they scoff at the suggestion, then that would be a good post,” the rules note.

One of the most common issues brought up on the Choosing Beggars subreddit is the fact that people feel entitled to free art. To address this topic, we reached out to artists Carrie Brummer and Jill Arwen Posadas to hear what it's really like to deal with these "choosy beggars". First, we asked both artists how often they are reached out to about working for free. "On average I would say 2-3 times per year I receive serious requests to either give away my art or do art teaching for free," Carrie told Bored Panda.

"I haven't been asked lately, but I think being asked once is once too often," Jill replied. "I used to get asked a fair bit when I was just starting out. Back when I was younger I thought it was worth it 'for the exposure' and the 'experience points' if I got a good look at who was asking and what 'actual exposure' and experience I would be getting. But these days it would take far more than just 'exposure' (like maybe if it was for charity?) for me to do it."

On second thought, though, Jill remembered that she had been reached out to more recently. "I had been asked when the pandemic was in the thick of things for free art a fair bit. It was for the pandemic, so you'd have to be pretty hardhearted, they must've thought, if you'd said no. But hey, we had to eat during the pandemic, too." Jill admitted that she did create the free art a couple of times, but said she would be lying if she said she had no hard feelings about it.

We also asked Carrie why she thinks people feel entitled to free art. "Our society and culture sets a tone that says art is barely worth our time, let alone worth investing in," she explained. "Not only can this set us up to expect to pay 'less' for art, it sometimes discourages artists from setting fair prices for their work. In general, people feel more permission to spend money on a dozen streaming services than support an artist."

In terms of how she likes to deal with these individuals, Carrie told Bored Panda, "I've established clear boundaries about what feels good to me to give away or participate in at a discounted rate and what doesn't. If it doesn't meet the criteria it's a no. For whoever needs this reminder: no is a full sentence! I find it a waste of time to offer lengthy explanations to people who won't ever truly invest in my work. I'd rather be making more art."

We also asked Jill why she thinks people feel entitled to free art. "They don't think it's as 'important' as being a doctor, lawyer or so on," she said. "They think it's something people 'just do for fun'. Maybe it's plain ignorance, and you can't blame somebody for something they don't know, I guess. Unless it's someone who thinks they're entitled to free anything and not just art."

And her response to these entitled individuals? "Be polite and say no thank you. And then to not engage further. I don't think it's worth your time, energy or patience to get into that conversation with people like this."

Lastly, Carrie added how she has found a healthy way to handle these situations. "I personally felt more frustration and resentment towards these 'choosy beggars' before I sat down and truly asked myself when or where I'd be comfortable working at a discounted or free rate. Reflecting on what works for me, which won't be the same answer for everyone, has really helped me shift away from resentment and move closer to amused ambivalence."

If you'd like to support Carrie and check out some of her beautiful artwork, be sure to visit her website right here.

Jill left us with some words of wisdom as well, "Maybe someday, everywhere, art as a profession would stand on equal footing with other professions. And I do mean all forms of art, including music, literature and so on. But I get this feeling that even if it did, there will always be people who think they can just ask for free stuff whether it's art or not. Let's just feel sorry for them, I guess, while at the same time protecting ourselves and our livelihoods. That's probably more positive than hating on them for being the unfeeling pernicious underhanded unscrupulous freeloaders they are," she added with a laugh.

Be sure to check out Jill's website and her wonderful artwork as well right here.

Whether a choosy beggar wants a painter, a graphic designer, or a photographer to create something for them, they are somehow not shy at all about asking for what they want while knowing they can’t offer any money. Influencers slide into the DMs of artists and restaurants requesting free pieces and meals assuming that the “exposure will be worth it”, meanwhile the artists and chefs just want to pay rent and buy groceries without worrying about taking on extra jobs. One clever artist found his own way to put choosy beggars on blast and created a whole Twitter account for it. The account is called For Exposure and was started by South Korea-based cartoonist Ryan Estrada in 2013. In fact, we even have a Bored Panda article featuring some of their best posts right here.      

The For Exposure account invites followers and fellow artists to share the most outlandish responses they have received from potential clients after informing them of their rates. “Surprised by your invoice,” reads one tweet. “I put a lot of smileys in my emails, so I thought we’d become friends and you wouldn’t charge.” Another boldly states, “If we had money for this, we’d be going after real artists… who paint on real canvases. Not the digital fake stuff.” Unfortunately, a lot of artists are willing to take on free labor at the beginning of their careers, but that does not mean they should. “I was very confused as a young artist,” Estrada told the BBC. “I had all of these people telling me that they were just small companies, so they couldn't afford to pay me, but could offer me exposure so that big companies would want to hire me.”

"I realized that I had to be my own advocate for my work, and figure out a way to make a living,” Estrada went on to say. And his account has clearly hit home with a lot of other creatives, as it now has over 240k followers. He wants to make it clear to those who don’t understand what being an artist is like that no matter how passionate an artist is, they are still putting in extremely hard work. Not to mention the high cost of materials that many forms of art require. “People think that art is just a fun hobby,” Estrada says. “But it's the difference between enjoying baking brownies on the weekend and working as a chef in a restaurant. That person won't be able to afford their own food if all their time goes into cooking for strangers. Many businesses just don't see that.”

Now, you might be wondering how it is even possible for so many entitled people to exist and to demand whatever they want for little to no cost. Don’t these people understand how the world works? Well, apparently, they might just find rules unfair. According to a series of studies published in the journal Social Psychological and Personality Science, it is very difficult to get entitled individuals to follow rules because they just don’t think they should apply to them. Emily Zitek of Cornell University and Alexander Jordan of Harvard Medical School conducted a series of studies to understand why entitled people just won’t follow rules, but nothing seemed to motivate them. 

“We thought that everyone would follow instructions when we told people that they would definitely get punished for not doing so, but entitled individuals still were less likely to follow instructions than less entitled individuals,” said Zitek. Finally, Zitek and Jordan reached a conclusion that, “Entitled people do not follow instructions because they would rather take a loss themselves than agree to something unfair.” Zitek explained that anyone in charge of entitled individuals, like managers or educators, needs to navigate the challenge of making rules seem “fair” to them if there is any chance of the guidelines being adhered to.

So what is the best way to deal with an entitled individual? According to Emily Zitek, “It is hard to change someone’s personality, and research indicates that it is particularly difficult to make someone feel or act less entitled. But we can do things to avoid reinforcing someone’s sense of entitlement. For example, when entitled people make unwarranted demands, it might be better not to give in, because doing so may make them even more certain that their entitlement is justified. And when saying ‘no’ to entitled people, it may help to explain why your refusal is fair, because perceptions of unfairness are linked to even more entitled behavior in the future.”