The worst kind of people use the early parts of dating to create a false sense of connection and chemistry, sometimes referred to as love bombing. But underneath the kind words and attention, there is often nothing but selfishness and deceit

A woman discovered that her date had a bad habit of lying, cheating, and love bombing at the same time, so she decided to get revenge. She got in contact with his ex and quickly learned that he had a very bad habit of being dishonest. We got in contact with CarnivorousEcho who posted the story to find out more.

Just because a person says nice things, doesn’t mean their intentions are good

Image credits: Evellyn Cardoso (not the actual photo)

One woman enacted a brilliant bit of revenge on a man who lied to and cheated on her

Image credits: Sam Lion (not the actual photo)

Image credits: RDNE Stock project (not the actual photo)

Image credits: Igor Ovsyannykov (not the actual photo)

Image credits: Ivan Samkov (not the actual photo)

Image credits: CarnivorousEcho

OP shared her thoughts on “love bombing” and why it can be effective

Bored Panda got in touch with CarnivorousEcho who shared the above story and she was kind enough to answer some of our questions. We wanted to hear her take on why “Frank’s” love bombing was effective.

“I’m a victim of SA and abuse so being told endearing things isn’t common from the people I unfortunately surround myself with. So when he did, he made me feel worth something which is something I don’t typically feel. With constant messages, I felt wanted and appreciated so when he told me he lied it hurt me a lot harder than I thought it would due to his consistency. Like when a kid in middle school pretends to ask you out as a joke. It was a huge hit to my pride and it genuinely hurt most in my self-esteem.”

Image credits: cottonbro studio (not the actual photo)

At the same time, it helped her better understand these kinds of manipulators

Given that she now has some experience with a “serial” love-bomber, we were curious to hear if OP had any new insights into how to tell a manipulator and a genuine connection apart. “To be honest I don’t even think there are warning signs when it comes to love messages and constant affection.”

“I think you have to just look at how their relationships are with others. He constantly talked bad about her and would always vent about things she was doing to harass him (that he never did). He constantly tested the waters with me to see how far my empathy would go for him,” she shared with Bored Panda.

Lastly, we wanted to know how she felt after the entire story had unfolded. “As for how I felt when I got “revenge”. Somewhat satisfied? I wasn’t excited or jumping for the opportunity. I met his ex and we clicked as friends. So after realizing he lied about her and was indeed abusive towards her instead of the opposite, I got mad for her sake. So anything I could do to help her was my main priority. I got him out of her apartment and she’s happier now. It wasn’t for me.”

Image credits: Julia Larson (not the actual photo)

“Love bombing” is more insidious than it might appear on the surface

The insidiousness of “love bombing” is that it can make completely well-adjusted people suspicious and paranoid of normal, loving behavior. After all, if you really like a person early in a relationship, it can simply be a sign of good chemistry. After all, dating a person who doesn’t actually communicate their feelings tends to not be particularly fun.

Given the desire many of us have for “love at first sight,” abusive and manipulative people will hijack this desire to make themselves appear better in their date’s eyes. As a relatively modern phenomenon, it remains understudied, but there is some suggestion that it’s a common ploy of people with narcissistic personality disorder. It also bears some resemblance to the abusive manipulation strategies of gang members and pimps, where new joiners are at first treated very well to lull them into a false sense of security.

Fortunately, this man is more moron than mastermind and OP quickly sussed out his intentions and made a new friend at the same time. Getting him fired from a bakery was just the icing on the cake. Manipulators, from cults to abusive partners often try to isolate their victims, so OP was fortunate to make contact with someone who could show her the big picture.

Image credits: Thirdman (not the actual photo)

OP shared some more details with the readers

Others shared their thoughts on this man, their own experiences and chatted with OP

Commenters expressed just how low they thought this guy was

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