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It’s safe to assume that we all have annoying traits; something that can drive others—our co-workers, for instance—or even us ourselves completely crazy. But something mildly aggravating is unlikely to do much harm in people’s lives, unlike toxic traits, for example.
Members of the ‘Ask Reddit’ community recently opened up about the latter, after one user asked them about the toxic traits they recognize in themselves. In their answers, netizens were quite honest, oftentimes detailing not only what the character trait is, but how it has affected their life, as well. If you’re wondering what toxic traits seemingly bother people the most, scroll down to find their answers on the list below.
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#1
I tend to overthink a lot which sometimes makes me my own worst enemy.
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#2
I am lazy af and procrastinate like a b***h. It's my worst flaw. It affects my health, my relationships, and is now magnified by my depression.
#3
I don't communicate my needs and then get frustrated when they aren't met.
Mia Black 4 months ago
I was there. Understanding and seeing that this is a problem helps to start practising to become better. It took many years but today I am not longer silencing myself to not be a burden and hoping someone will feed my needs. I also try to guess what needs others may have of they seem shy
#4
I don’t set boundaries with people which leads to me becoming angry with them at a later date because they are taking advantage of my being too nice.
#5
I'm very cynical and mistrusting about peoples intentions. Always thinking they have ulterior motives when they're friendly to me. Basicaly I have no good faith in humanity.
kansasmagic 4 months ago
Know this! Cynicism is a defense mechanism. I don't always think people have ulterior motives; I'm just quick to lose trust.
#6
I dont always speak my mind for fear of being emotionally abandoned and it has NOT served anyone well.
#7
I am one of those people who will jump full blast into a brand new hobby but then promptly quit when it turns out I am not immediately great at it. This has led to a lot of credit card debt, unfinished projects, and unused stuff around the house.
edit: yes this is definitely due to ADHD, I've been diagnosed twice in my life but am unfortunately not currently medicated.
#8
I create ridiculous situations in my head and allow my anxiety to control and cripple me. I'm working on it and actually making lots of progress but it's caused me many problems.
I also get incredibly defensive if I feel like I'm being looked down on in any way.
Edit: Definitely a self esteem thing which always makes you take a good hard look in the mirror. If you experience this go to therapy/start finding ways to build yourself up. It goes a long way.
#9
I’m not good at cultivating relationships, reaching out to check on people, keeping track of what is going on with far-flung relatives. I’m not sure if it is a self-esteem issue or a self-protection issue. I vacillate between it being either one.
kansasmagic 4 months ago
I often say that I do not burn bridges - I just let them rot and fall apart. But for one thing: all those people can check on *you*, too.
#10
Narcissism. Didn't even know the term until a few years back, and then I started to learn all about it. Now I realise I have picked up so many traits, I am trying to unlearn them and be better.
Tempest 4 months ago
Having self awareness of one’s narcissism or narcissistic traits is actually one of the biggest steps in being able to positively combat the disorder. Most wth the disorder don’t know they have it and is just a menace to others which then inadvertently affects the unwell person as their relationships fall apart. So if you’re aware and can understand that you need some help, you’re way ahead in your treatment.
#11
I don't talk to myself in a positive way. I've gotten better at it, but as the saying goes we are our own worst critics.
#12
Inflexible. I want to do things my way. Trying to learn to overcome this but old habits die hard.
#14
I don’t talk about my feelings at all. It’s hard to know if I’m sad or mad about something.
Jane Jayne Jain Jeign Jein 4 months ago
I wonder if OP means other people find it hard to know, or if they find it hard to know themselves? I wasn't free to express my feelings as a kid and now I struggle to know what I'm feeling - can take me a long while to work it out.
#15
I’m very complacent, just because I don’t like making a fuss or making people feel upset. For example, if something is $20 but I get charged $25 i’ll just pay the $25 rather than even attempt to argue bc I don’t want to be rude to anyone. I need to get better at putting my foot down and saying no, or not just capitulating immediately.
#16
I let anger take over. It affects my kids, my husband, me.
Foxxy says Hello 4 months ago
This is me. I am very reactive when it comes to my emotions and can sometimes be irrational. I just don't/ can't think before I react.
#17
I don't really say anything when it upsets me to try to keep the peace. Then all of a sudden, one little thing can make me become a total b***h which hurts my relationships.
#18
Perfectionism that leads to an unwillingness to forgive myself for my own mistakes.
Red PANda (she/they/he/ze) 4 months ago
I always overestimate how little time it’ll take me to do stuff cuz I used to read really fast before covid brain fog settled in 😔
#19
I’m trying to work on it but I have a really hard time prioritizing myself when it comes to things like saying no to helping people or picking up extra at work when I really don’t have the mental/physical energy to do so.
Thecoolbonnie 4 months ago
This is called a 'people pleaser' and I have been trying to change this for so long. It's like I can only feel good about myself if someone else does
#20
Self-Sabatoge. Whenever I have expectations placed on me, I immediately fail at the task regardless of whether doing the task is good for me or not. Failing becomes a habit and confidence is shot. Then any goal becomes not worth pursuing. It becomes a cycle of self-harm.
Edith 4 months ago (edited)
No. It goes deeper - you self sabotage because you have like a core belief - I am a failure. And to prove it - you always sabotage yourself. That's just one of the reasons, it may be different for a different person, but in general you have to dig for that core belief to understand ones behaviour. It's in subconscious level.
#21
Overthinking when someone has hurt me, I'll actually make myself sick doing it.
Michael Largey 4 months ago
Memories of being hurt are so clear that it's like you were wearing a bodycam at the time.
#23
Oversharing. I tend to yap about things about my life that many people can't handle, and I don't realize because it doesn't phase me.
BookFanatic 4 months ago
Yep. I have zero filters and zero concept of what is and is not appropriate. Especially when meeting new people. I'm like a perpetual Golden Retriever puppy.
#24
I think really badly of myself. Every day I tell myself how stupid, ugly, worthless, and undeserving I am. I think it throws my whole energy off and makes me attract people who agree with me instead of people who will love me and be real friends.
kansasmagic 4 months ago
Yep. Stupid, idiot, loser, broken, deficient... Depression is a m**********r.
#25
I interrupt people when I already know what they are going to say instead of letting them finish their sentences. I also overshare at times when it would be better to keep more things to myself. I also have a tendency to view the world in a negative light and assume the worst out of people.
#26
I don’t take criticism well. It feels like I’m being told that something is wrong with me at my core. I struggle between feeling enough as I am and needing to make changes.
DennyS (denzoren) 4 months ago
For me it depends on how the person communicates the criticism. Are they just pointing things out or actually concerned about you learning.
#27
People pleaser. It's called self-abandonment & leads to resentment.
So I work on saying how I really feel (nicely of course), & even if it's uncomfortable or awkward or could potentially make someone unhappy with me. It's so hard. I just want everyone to be happy.... but I deserve to be happy too.
#28
I have really bad ADD and have a bad habit of talking over people. its not that I am not listening but I am also looking at the cute dog down the street.
Jocelyn Webster 4 months ago
I've learned to embrace this, as a lot more people are being diagnosed later in life. I find it cute. We can circle back once the dog has passed.
#29
This is more flawed than toxic, but I'm very level; no highs, no lows, and it means I struggle to have empathy. It all feels a bit of an act. I've gotten better over the years, but I always feel like an imposter. Often I used to jump to problem-solving, to skip over the messy part, and fix it. But over the years I learned this doesn't help. Not really. There's a time and a place for that and it's when emotions are settled and stable.
Sometimes I picture the death of my parents, or a friend, just to try and feel emotions that some people must feel daily. This might make me sound dead inside, or depressed, but it's really not the case. I wouldn't trade it, I like it. But I'm not the best person to turn to in times of need. I just keep quiet, let them vent, and support them without judgement as well as I can. Sometimes that's okay. Sometimes people may need more, but it is what it is. There's no point pretending or being disingenuous. I'd rather people see a flawed authentic version of myself than a bad actor.
meeeeeeeeeeee 4 months ago
Seems odd that this person is acting like they don't know they're a pyschopath
#30
I get angry when people don't like what I like.
What do you think ?
Beak Hookage 4 months ago
I'm too much of a people pleaser. I'll go out of my way to help people with the least little thing. I do enjoy making others happy and people like that about me, but it also means I tend to put myself second more often than I should and is probably linked to my incredible reluctance to ask for help or even admit to having a problem. And being bad at standing up for myself. I also get really triggered by being condescended to (even if it's just in my own perception), which makes me get angry and resentful or miserable and anxious.
Foxxy says Hello 4 months ago
I'm a walking toxic waste sign. I'm an oversharer, I'm a people pleaser, I'm emotionally reactive, I put myself down all the time and more.
Kristal 4 months ago
Sounds like you may benefit from therapy. I say in sincerity.
Load More Replies... BookFanatic 4 months ago
This was oddly depressing and reassuring at the same time. Like, I'm not the only one out there who does X, Y, Z. I'm not excusing it, but it's nice to know it's not just me.
Beak Hookage 4 months ago
I'm too much of a people pleaser. I'll go out of my way to help people with the least little thing. I do enjoy making others happy and people like that about me, but it also means I tend to put myself second more often than I should and is probably linked to my incredible reluctance to ask for help or even admit to having a problem. And being bad at standing up for myself. I also get really triggered by being condescended to (even if it's just in my own perception), which makes me get angry and resentful or miserable and anxious.
Foxxy says Hello 4 months ago
I'm a walking toxic waste sign. I'm an oversharer, I'm a people pleaser, I'm emotionally reactive, I put myself down all the time and more.
Kristal 4 months ago
Sounds like you may benefit from therapy. I say in sincerity.
Load More Replies... BookFanatic 4 months ago
This was oddly depressing and reassuring at the same time. Like, I'm not the only one out there who does X, Y, Z. I'm not excusing it, but it's nice to know it's not just me.
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