Switching seats—whether you’re at the cinema, on the bus, or flying above the clouds on a plane—is a touchy subject for many people. Unless there’s a very good reason to move, people tend to be very territorial. It is their seat after all. Some situations, however, are less than clear-cut and need the internet’s input to figure out.

One redditor recently shared how he asked a mom and her young daughter to move out of the cinema seats he’d paid for, for a showing of the new Barbie movie. He felt conflicted about what he’d done, so he asked the AITA community for a verdict. Scroll down to see what they had to say about the mini-drama, and be sure to share your own opinions, Pandas.

We reached out to Luke Hinton, the owner and head writer at ‘That Film Blog UK,’ to get his thoughts on proper cinema etiquette, as well as seat-swapping. You’ll find Bored Panda’s interview with him below.

Swapping seats at the cinema isn’t something that many people enjoy. It can lead to quite a bit of tension

Image credits: WarnerBros

One man shared how guilty he felt after asking a mom and her young daughter to leave the seats he paid for at a recent showing of the Barbie movie

Image credits: Pressmaster (not the actual photo)

Image credits: seventyfourimages (not the actual photo)

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There were various ways to avoid the small conflict in the first place

Image credits: cottonbro studio (not the actual photo)

The sorts of situations like the one presented in the Reddit post are often morally grey because you could easily argue that both parties are in the right. On the one hand, you had a mom and her daughter who wanted to sit together and watch the movie. However, no tickets were left available for them to sit side by side, so they improvised by snagging a couple of (yet) unoccupied strangers’ seats.

It’d be heartwrenching to force them to watch the film separately. However (and there is a ‘however’), there were plenty of other ways to solve this problem without involving either the OP or his girlfriend. For one, the mom could have booked a different screening of Barbie, so that her seat was next to her daughter’s.

Similarly, the mom could have spoken to the cinema staff about whether there was any possible way to solve the problem that she created. Or she could have politely asked some of the people already present if there was any way that they’d consider swapping seats. These seem ‘cleaner’ ways to deal with the situation than grabbing a couple of empty spots and then praying nobody shows up.

At the end of the day, the redditor paid for the tickets and has the right to sit where he’s entitled to. How he approaches the situation is entirely up to him, but being friendly but firm helps in these situations. The last thing you want is to cause a scene. And you want to behave in a way that you’d be proud of. In some cases that might mean relenting; in others, it means ever so gently enforcing your boundaries.

“Try to book well in advance, to ensure you’ve got as much choice as possible”

Bored Panda was curious to get Hinton’s thoughts on the types of situations where seat-swapping in the cinema is acceptable. “I think there are a couple of instances where seat swapping isn’t the end of the world—but only very few,” the owner of ‘That Film Blog UK’ told us via email.

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“If you’re in a packed screening, for example, there’s no harm in asking someone to swap if they’re sat alone and in between you and a friend or family member. Equally, if you’re going with a child or more nervous cinemagoer, I’m sure most reasonable people would swap to accommodate you sitting together,” he explained.

“But of course, the need for seat swapping in the first place can be avoided in cinemas that let you allocate your own seating while booking. This can be tough if you book a ticket late, so try to book well in advance, to ensure you’ve got as much choice as possible.”

We were also interested in getting the movie expert’s take on the fundamentals of cinema etiquette. Hinton was kind enough to shed some light on this.

“The main thing tied to cinema etiquette is simply respect for everyone else around you. Each and every person has spent their hard-earned money to spend a few hours engrossed in a film, so do as much as you can to ensure everybody, including yourself, gets the immersion we all crave,” he told Bored Panda.

“Most importantly, please don’t check your phone or chat through a screening—it impacts everybody and can easily ruin the experience. Don’t spoil somebody’s first time watching a film by thinking only of yourself!” Meanwhile, feel free to check out Hinton’s latest movie reviews on ‘That Film Blog UK.’

Boundaries are important. But what’s equally essential is the way that you enforce them

Image credits: Monstera (not the actual photo)

Luckily for everyone involved in the Barbie screening, someone else offered to trade with the mom and daughter. But some Reddit users made a few excellent points that the mom might have been more to blame than the OP.

“Poor planning on their part does not constitute an emergency on your part,” one redditor wrote, highlighting the fact that everybody isn’t obliged to make sacrifices over something that could have easily been avoided. There are multiple screenings and different cinemas that offered the mom a bunch of alternatives.

Someone who’s hoping to swap seats ought to be as polite and respectful as possible, and should clearly explain their need. However, if you’re told ‘no,’ embrace this fact, and ask someone else.

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‘No’ is a perfectly valid response. ‘No’ is fair. ‘No’ is a big part of life. And it’s important to understand the other person’s reasoning behind this. For instance, they might be on a date with their partner. Or they’re with a larger group of people. Or they absolutely love this particular seat because it offers them the best possible view. Or they might have had a long day and don’t have enough mental energy to be kind. It all depends on the particular person.

Obviously, ideally, any sneaky or polite seat-swapping ought to happen before the film actually begins, during the previews, or even earlier. However, if the movie’s rolling and Barbie’s already frolicking on the silver screen, try to stay as quiet as possible. The rest of the audience shouldn’t have to suffer because of a misunderstanding on your part. That means enjoying your popcorn while keeping the crunching and munching to a minimum, as well!

Most readers thought that the man was perfectly within his rights

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A few people, however, disagreed with the crowd. Here’s what they had to say about the situation

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