Attending your best friend’s wedding can be almost as exciting as planning your own. Being by their side to support one of the people you love most in the world can be an emotional experience. And you better make sure you have some tissues by your side when they walk down the aisle!  

But after one bride informed her best friend that she was expecting an extravagant gift on her big day, the friend began to wonder if they should attend the celebration at all. Below, you’ll find the full story that was recently posted on the “Am I the [Jerk]?” subreddit, as well as some advice readers left the author.

Guests usually bring a nice gift with them when attending a wedding

Image credits: freepik (not the actual image)

But when a bride revealed that she was expecting extravagant presents, her friend began to wonder if they should attend the celebration at all

Image credits: freepik (not the actual image)

Image credits: dang_zoey

On average, guests typically spend about $150 on wedding gifts

image credits: LightFieldStudios / Envato (not the actual photo)

We all know that throwing a wedding can take a huge chunk out of your budget, but what brides and grooms often forget is that attending weddings can be quite expensive as well. According to The Knot, the average cost of attending a wedding in 2024 was a whopping $580. 

When you factor in the price of travel, accommodation, attire and gifts, agreeing to go to a wedding requires spending a lot more than just an afternoon and evening on the couple. So how much should we really be shelling out for wedding gifts? Isn’t your presence at the celebration enough of a present?

Experts at Zola note that how much you should spend on a wedding gift depends on your relationship to the bride and groom. For example, if you’re attending a colleague or a distant relative’s wedding, $75 to $100 should be plenty. For a friend or closer relative’s wedding, you might want to spend between $100 to $150.    

And if the bride or groom is a close friend, immediate family member or you’re part of the wedding party, you should be prepared to spend at least $150 on a present. You might even want to spend more if you’re bringing a plus one to the occasion. 

There’s also a general rule that some guests follow, which is to “cover your plate.” In other words, you may want to gift at least as much as the bride and groom spent per person on their wedding. But another important factor to consider is how much you can actually afford. 

But guests can always get creative if they can’t afford an expensive present

Image credits: YuriArcursPeopleimages / Envato (not the actual photo)

The Knot notes that, even though the bride and groom might be expecting more, $100 is a perfectly fine amount for a wedding gift if that’s all you can afford at the moment. In fact, guests were spending an average of $150 per wedding present in 2023. So asking friends and family members to spend $1,000 on a gift for the happy couple is simply unrealistic.

But what about wedding guests who can’t afford to purchase a present at all? Is it still worth it for them to attend? HuffPost got in touch with some etiquette experts to get to the bottom of this. 

According to Jodi RR Smith, president of Mannersmith Etiquette Consulting, guests should simply ignore the “cover your plate” rule if money is tight. “Your gift budget is not a reflection of the couple’s budget,” she told HuffPost. “Your gift is reflective of your finances.”

And if you don’t want to show up to the wedding empty-handed, don’t hesitate to think outside the box. You can always write a meaningful, heartfelt card to the couple. Or gift them something that can’t be bought at the store, like help planting their first vegetable garden together or freshly baked bread and pastries from your own kitchen. Thrift stores can also be gold mines for anyone in search of a budget-friendly gift. 

We would love to hear your thoughts on this situation in the comments below, pandas. Do you think it’s worth it for the author to attend the wedding with a modest gift? Or should they skip their best friend’s celebration altogether? And if you’d like to check out another Bored Panda article discussing similar themes, we recommend reading this one next!

The majority of readers agreed that the bride was being unreasonable

However, some thought the author was wrong for even considering skipping the event

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