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Here’s a quick question for you, Pandas: how many of you have an account on LinkedIn? With 830 million members in over 200 countries, LI is an utterly massive online professional network. Though ‘professional’ might be a bit of a misnomer. As anyone who has spent time on the network knows, things can get pretty darn ridiculous sometimes.

Posts about completely made-up situations. Posts so full to the brim with bragging that they make you gag. Posts that exaggerate the positive qualities of the author, as well as those of their company. And posts about how CEOs acted like total jerks but tried to pretend they were super deep and professional (and totally don’t have control and/or greed issues). The cringe is real. And it all ends up on the ‘The Best of LinkedIn’ Twitter page.

Run by JR Hickey, from California, the account shows the side of LinkedIn that many would prefer would remain hidden. He gently makes fun of all the “heroes and influencers brave enough to share their stories in an effort to inspire others.” Scroll down for his best featured posts, upvote your fave ones, and tell us all about the most bizarre things you’ve stumbled upon on LI yourselves, dear Pandas.

Bored Panda got in touch with JR, the founder of the entire project on Twitter, and he was kind enough to answer our questions. He told us about the history of 'The Best of LinkedIn' and shared his thoughts about the culture of the platform and its problems. He didn't beat around the bush and was brutally honest about just how ridiculous 'LinkedInfluencers' are and how they react to his content. You'll find his thoughts below.

JR shared the history of 'The Best of LinkedIn' account on Twitter with us. "Back in 2018, I was an Account Executive for a SaaS company in San Francisco. I had a boss who was a dinosaur—his idea of a good follow-up to a meeting was mailing laminated copies of the deck we presented to the prospect after the fact. The phrase, 'Stop by Kinko's' was uttered a few times in my short tenure there (Kinko's was dropped by FedEx in 2008, ten years prior)."

A large part of JR's job at the time was cold calling on LinkedIn. "I was already dissatisfied with my role, my career, and the company, so spending a few hours a day on LinkedIn just about pushed me over the edge," he was very candid. "I began seeing the first inklings of these so-called 'LinkedInfluencers' and started screenshotting their posts and sharing them on my personal Twitter account. Once those gained traction, I decided to create a dedicated Twitter account for it, and thus, @BestOfLinkedin was born."

Bored Panda was curious how JR would describe the professional network's culture. He told us that 'toxic' gets thrown around too often lately. "I would say the best way to describe LinkedIn's culture is 'downright demented.' It's just a giant back-patting circle/echo chamber where people aren't even telling a version of the truth anymore," he stressed that the amount of fiction on LI is utterly absurd these days.

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    "It's unoriginal sellouts who regurgitate corporate buzzwords and stories of incredible business acumen in an effort to game the LinkedIn algorithm and try to hide the fact that there isn't a single thing that's interesting about them. And nobody will call them out, for fear of losing their job or it blowing back on them professionally. The entire platform lacks accountability, which is insane because its intention initially was to be just that," JR pointed out that very few people are willing to put their careers on the line for the sake of calling out downright lies.

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    That's not to say that LinkedIn doesn't have its upsides. The founder of 'The Best of LinkedIn' said that the professional network is a "terrific place to read business news, as well as to find jobs, recruit talent, and network with people in your industry.

    "It's a valuable business development tool but sadly it's been watered down by these self-proclaimed 'Linkedinfluencers' and their BS success stories. LinkedIn could improve the user experience drastically by focusing on moderating these posts and suppressing them when they don't offer anything valuable," he suggested how the platform could change for the better.

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    Chocolate llama
    Community Member
    2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    I wonder if they also have the lipstick requirement for the men they interview...

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    Caro Caro
    Community Member
    2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Uhm Joseph .... maybe you should work on YOU first? Just a thought ...

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    #6

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    Loretta
    Community Member
    2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Lol I'd like to see Nicholas defending his girlfriend against a bear.

    Delta Dawn
    Community Member
    2 years ago (edited) DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Women as a rule don’t give one tiny shriveled 💩 about a guy’s “evolutionary disadvantages” and/or ability to…. punch out bears on mountain trails??? Just what does Nicholas imagine he’d do with a bear, besides wet himself?

    JuJu
    Community Member
    2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    I hope, that beautiful girl with the beautiful heart will punch Nicholas with her beautiful fist on his ugly nose

    meepmeep
    Community Member
    2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Wait, my husband is asleep. How will he protect me if a bear breaks in?

    Kathryn Baylis
    Community Member
    2 years ago (edited) DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Warning: THIS IS A JOKE. Nicholas to the Bear: "Oh, oh, I see, running away then. You yellow bastard! Come back here and take what's coming to you. I'll bite your legs off!" (Extra points if you recognize the quote.)

    Crene
    Community Member
    2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Nothing to see here people, just nature showing how stupid some people can be

    François Carré
    Community Member
    2 years ago (edited) DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Oh, I was just talking about that kind of lowkey fascist guys the other day. Here is one. So deeply entangled in his toxic sexist law-of-the-jungle fantasy that he completely fails to consider a woman might be more able to defend her disabled boyfriend than the opposite.

    Trigender_Turtle she/he/they
    Community Member
    2 years ago (edited) DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    tHaT sHe WiLl OvErLoOk ThIs MaN's EvOlUtIOnArY dIsAdVaNtAgEs. She literally CARRIED this guy up a freaking mountain! i rolled my eyes so hard they fell out🙄😡

    Emmydearest
    Community Member
    2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Call me old-fashioned, but who cares about: love, respect, support, kindness, humanity, mutual interests and values? All I care is a pair of arms and legs and apparently some wolverine blades attached to those arms so he can protect me from bears when we are at the top of mountains

    Xottel
    Community Member
    2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    When your wife leaves your sore a** for a man like this because you behave like a d***hole and now you have to prove you're a better man on the interwebs by being a d***hole again. Get your s**t together, Nicky.

    Loki’s Lil Butter Knife
    Community Member
    2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    I really hope that Nicholas gets eaten by a very hungry bear. We'll be down one moron.

    ThatRandomGuy
    Community Member
    2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Nick that's f*****g rude, himanshu, please don't make that caption ever

    Local foodie
    Community Member
    2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    What’s wrong with Nicholas. And why won’t the lady be able to defend herself?

    john li
    Community Member
    2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    You are not going to win against a grizzly bear. The best you can do is let the bear eat you while your gf runs away. But I bet Nicholas is going to be the one running while leaving his gf behind.

    Mistiekim
    Community Member
    2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    What if Nicholas thought the girl was ugly? He seems like the type of guy who wouldn’t care if a bear ate up an “ugly” girl.

    Jessi Lovely
    Community Member
    2 years ago (edited) DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    What a c**k. Women should stay away from a man that sees them as so worthless that he puts his own ego before her triumphs. The kind of guy that shoves his way into a task you’re doing just fine and without asking does it for you because he wants to feel strong and superior and then expects a thank you. The kind of dude that keeps telling you you need protection when all along, it’s you, Nicholas. YOU’RE the f*****g bear.

    Paddling Panda
    Community Member
    2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Hey hey HEY! Bears are lovely animals. Nick is a f*****g piece of s**t. Let's not insult the bears, yeah? ;-) <3

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    Ivo H
    Community Member
    2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    That is some Dwight Schrute level s**t right there. Except it's not funny because it's real.

    Elizabeth Mitchell
    Community Member
    2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    If she is strong enough to carry him, she can fight off a bear easily.

    Misty-Dawn Amayi
    Community Member
    2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Forget the bears, Nick... Girls like her need defending from guys like you.

    Lara Kristelle
    Community Member
    2 years ago (edited) DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    I’m sorry Nicholas that you’re too bitter for this world.

    Julia French
    Community Member
    2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Sorry Nicholas, My blackbelt & I can defend both me and my never a sexist man! & I know many women with simmilar training who feel the same.

    Agent 8433599
    Community Member
    2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    I think they it's really cool of his girlfriend to do that!! Oh, and Nickolas? Go die in a ditch

    Gareth Williams
    Community Member
    2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    And the idiot believes that a man could square up to a bear! A pleb of the highest order this one.

    Lea S.
    Community Member
    2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    If a guy can defend her - she can also defend herself. That's equality Nicholas.

    Loolie
    Community Member
    2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    A woman like this will never need defending! I'm pretty sure she got this s**t on her own.

    Jessica Julian
    Community Member
    2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Nicholas is angry, and jealous, that this woman could pick this guy, but he can't get a girlfriend...and he simply can't figure out why?! Who wants to tell him?

    Tammie Braggs
    Community Member
    2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    As if men have never been eaten by bears. What the hell is her boyfriend supposed to do with the bear…bob and weave?

    Doge
    Community Member
    2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    He can simultaneously insult & belittle all women and men based on ther gender in a surprisingly concise manner. Thays some impressive douchery right there.

    Mikey Kliss
    Community Member
    2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    I mean... one person has legs and one does. I think the answer is easy for the bear and he gets to sacrifice himself to save her so win win

    Virgil Blue
    Community Member
    2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Nicolas will die sour, unloved and alone regretting not being a better person when he had the chance.

    Brett Layton
    Community Member
    2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Aww poor Nicholas , doesnt know alot about bears. Black bear most common in the US is very unlikely to attack anyone ( theyre more like raccoons than bears in that regard) , Grizzly is rare to attack and if it does playing dead is the best way to live , Polar bear on the other hand will make you a headline if you encounter one. Also the reason it is ilegal to lock doors in alot of polar bear dense areas so folks can escape.

    Rebekah Krause
    Community Member
    2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Wow. How can someone actually type that whole thing out and then post it and not realize that they are an absolute POS? There is so much wrong with him, and he is so disgusting I don’t even know where to start.

    Casey McAlister
    Community Member
    2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    I don't think Nicholas would be able to defend anyone against a bear. Bears are extremely strong and fast.

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    "If the only reason you're posting on LinkedIn is to show off a picture of yourself with a story about how you were called 'too pretty' to be in business then your post will be taken down. If you aren't sharing anything educational or valuable, and instead are attributing incredible management advice from your FIVE YEAR OLD, your account will be banned. Sadly, I wish this was an easy fix, but LinkedIn has replicated every other social media platform and become another runaway train of trash," he said that he's not holding on to much hope that LI will improve in the future.

    "LinkedInfluencers, for how much 'expertise' they have, have some of the thinnest skins on the Internet. Because they 'create' their content strictly for LinkedIn, where nobody criticizes or calls them out, they lose their minds when an account like @BestOfLinkedin does. Personally, I've created content for over a decade now in the forms of comedy, podcasting videos, and articles," JR told Bored Panda.

    "When you create anything for the Internet, there's going to be 50% or more people who hate it. So you have to know that criticism comes with the territory. But when a LinkedInfluencer sees me poke fun at them for @BestofLinkedin? Oftentimes they don't know what to do with themselves. Usually, they'll try to doxx me or get me fired. Good luck, I'm a freelance Creative Director and don't have a boss. I get paid to write things for social media and more. So yeah, I'm doing exactly what I'm supposed to. If you don't like what's being said about you on the Internet, the proper response isn't to take your ball and run home. Or worse, take your ball and run and tell your parents."

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    Donkey boi
    Community Member
    2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    The body language does not reflect someone 'searching and longing for a solution'. And why the heck would your dad be taking pictures of you while his other daughter is in intensive care?

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    Trish Smith
    Community Member
    2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Yep, your almost two year old had such an enlightened learning experience AND built that sandcastle?? You really expect someone to believe that??

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    JR’s ‘The Best of LinkedIn’ social media project is a great archive showing how even the most seasoned professionals can feel insecure about themselves. It’s a slippery slope when you start making up stories for clicks.

    Don’t even get us started on how ridiculous it is to try and motivate people while humble-bragging in between the lines. Look, nobody says that LinkedIn has to be super serious all the time (we actually rather enjoy some of the fun, quirky, and artistic posts that fly across our feeds from time to time), however, it’s downright embarrassing when industry veterans go all out and think they’re the next big ‘self-help’ guru.

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    Now, that’s not to say that motivation and finding joy within and beyond the rat race aren’t important (they are!), but it all really comes down to how you try and motivate people. Copying someone else’s post, borrowing someone else’s ideas with a few small tweaks, downright faking entire experiences just so you have something to feed your followers doesn’t reflect well on you.

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    Hawkmoon
    Community Member
    2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    And then I realized that the water on my nightstand had turned into wine. Or the opposite, I don't remember the timing well.

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    Marcel Beisel
    Community Member
    2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    you learned how to abuse people and try to make the same s**t now they did to you. wow.

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    It speaks less about you as a ‘leader’ and more about your insecurities and desire for attention. If you’re feeling creatively bankrupt, it’s perfectly fine to take some time off: get off social media. Take a break. Fight that burnout! It’s way better than flooding LinkedIn with trite stories and ‘inspirational’ stories that make people’s eyes roll. And yes, we might be low-key judging anyone who writes, “So true!!!” in the comments.

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    If you genuinely enjoy a post, good for you. But like it or not, there’s just way too much pretense online. Especially on LinkedIn where you pretty much are what you say you are.

    LinkedIn does have its upsides, though. When you make an account and polish up your profile, you’re putting yourself out there for recruiters to see. You become far more visible. You can find jobs that you like way more easily. And (probably best of all) you can actually connect with professionals from all around the world.

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    Need some advice on publishing a book, learning to program, or how to raise your EQ stats? Well, there are tons of people who’d be happy to help you, as long as you’re polite and genuine. Of course, there are some pros who would ignore or even look down on someone asking for advice, but hey, those are the rules of social networks, right

    You’re bound to get some jerks in every community. In our experience, the vast majority of people using LinkedIn have been phenomenal and super friendly. Then again, we haven’t chatted with many folks who thrive on bragging.

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    Kevin Garren
    Community Member
    2 years ago (edited) DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    All this BS has caused me to throw up in my mouth. Also, "Keillor" isn't a name, it sounds like a hipster low fat liquor. But hey, at least he didn't pretend the scan was real lol

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    Career coach Jermaine Murray, from JupiterHR, previously told Bored Panda that ‘turbo-charging’ your LinkedIn profile can lead to greater visibility and success. In his opinion, first impressions matter. However, they might not be overly long-lasting. That means that if you make a mistake on your LI profile, it’s not the end of the world: you can recover from this.

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    #19

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    Ange Marsden
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    2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Confirm for us school teachers - that does not look like a kid's handwriting or vocabulary...

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    “You can always improve your profile and show up in a Recruiter’s future search based on the SEO algorithms on LinkedIn. Also, if someone is a good Recruiter, they wouldn’t discount someone’s profile in the future because good people make bad resumes on LinkedIn all the time,” Jermaine told us during an earlier interview.

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    Ange Marsden
    Community Member
    2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    You'll get more value out saying the word Harvard than connecting with Jonathan. Think about that for a second.

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    #23

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    Lizzy Crit
    Community Member
    2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    My handwriting looks like a chicken with a seizure disorder wrote it. I'm better off sending an email

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    From the career coach’s perspective, LinkedIn is a “super powerful and useful tool for surfacing and connecting” with other people. LI can handle most of your professional needs. However, interactions elsewhere, on the net and in real-life, can also be useful for your career.

    “I’ve found LinkedIn to be more effective after I’ve built rapport with people on a different platform (like Twitter) or at a networking event (pre-Covid), as it’s a great way to stay in touch,” the career expert said.

    #25

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    Brandon Marlowe
    Community Member
    2 years ago (edited) DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Shortly after the restaurant "went silent" they all burst into applause. The restaurant owner then shouted, "drinks on the house!" and loaded them all up in a fleet of limousines to drive everyone to his palatial estate where they all lived happily ever after.

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    According to Jermaine, people usually don’t give themselves enough credit for their skills. They need to be less modest about themselves and the value that they bring.

    “When I have sessions with clients, the first exercise we do is a Success/Failure log where they can beat their chest a bit but also dissect and really understand that ‘failure’ because, more often than not, that Failure can actually lead to a win/success further down the line,” he shared.

    #30

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    Nathaniel
    Community Member
    2 years ago (edited) DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    -Cold call at their house at 10pm at night. -Show up at their kids school at the end of the school day. -Install 24 hour monitoring in their house secretly so you know when they are not busy and can take your call.

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    #31

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    Caro Caro
    Community Member
    2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Gary states he helps build an engaged audience ... This was NOT engaging Gary.

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    FabulousMari
    Community Member
    2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Well I see SOMEONE is fluent in meaningless corporate jargon. I hope he said his vows this way.

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    #34

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    Donkey boi
    Community Member
    2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    I eat mine slathered in so much butter it dribbles all over my chin. I attack the cob like a feral dog, getting little flecks of yellow all over my face. By the time I'm done I look like a demented person. Actual phot of me after eating corn on the cob attached: Me-eating-...d749f1.jpg Me-eating-62eb82ed749f1.jpg

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    #37

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    Gul Dukat
    Community Member
    2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    if you really think parenting will be similar to marketing and business, you're in for a rude awakening, smh

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    $cagsy
    Community Member
    2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Nice sentiment, emotions are for everyone. But. He's 'crying on the phone to his wife'. There is no phone and this chap probably went to the 'Amber Heard School of Crying'. #sadfacenotears

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    Kevin Garren
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    2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Why is having a home less important to him? Also, best thing about working at home should be using your own bathroom. Let's be real.

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    #41

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    Jill Rhodry
    Community Member
    2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    The kid wasn't be empathetic - he just wanted a donut, knew you wouldn't do it for him but that you would do it for yourself.

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    #47

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    Jill Rhodry
    Community Member
    2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    "understand that banter is JUST banter" translates to: I'm going to sexually harass you and you're not allowed to complain...it's JUST banter.

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    #49

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    Bored Retsuko
    Community Member
    2 years ago (edited) DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    "Scares the f*ck out of everybody else"? Wow, this guy must devour his pizza even more savagely than I do.

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    #50

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    G M
    Community Member
    2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    I don’t understand this at all. What does “I’m going to take a break for Saturday“ mean and why is it his reply to a yes or no question?

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    #51

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    Kevin Garren
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    2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    No, they're out crashing their Lambo showing off so they have to buy a new one.

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    #55

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    Mr.Kris
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    2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    But then I had to plug my daughter in as she was in need of a recharge...

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    #59

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    Lee Macro
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    2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Probably listening to him drone on about the art of strategic storytelling.....the closer I am to my bed the better methinks

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    #60

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    Vladislav Antonyuk
    Community Member
    2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Ehhh, so the moral is "not putting everything for a company might actually save your life" or what?

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    #61

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    Donkey boi
    Community Member
    2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    When I was a horny teenager, I used to call it "people watching" as well. PERVING Sean, it's called perving!

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    #62

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    Lizzy Crit
    Community Member
    2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    I'm not wasting 2 minutes watching a video. I'll skim the email though.

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    #63

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    SykesDaMan
    Community Member
    2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    When it takes more time to write the hashtags than the -not so short though- post they are attached to...

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    #64

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    #65

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    Well-Dressed Wolf
    Community Member
    2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    TRAGIC REMINDER: I’m using some other family’s pain and suffering to toot my own horn and promote myself!

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    #66

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    Kathryn Baylis
    Community Member
    2 years ago (edited) DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Just f*****g order the shoes online, a*****e, and quit wasting working people’s time. The salesperson told you flat out that they don’t have the shoes in stock, explaining it’s through no fault of their own, but because NIKE just isn’t sending them to small local retailers. That was all you needed to know.

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    #67

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    loty moty
    Community Member
    2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Well, finishing 4 year college in 6 years with 2.6 GPA does tell us something about your character.

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    #69

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    Gul Dukat
    Community Member
    2 years ago (edited) DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    with this tight schedule, I wouldn't have time to post online about it...but then I also don't have a nanny

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    #70

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    Well-Dressed Wolf
    Community Member
    2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Even his profile picture looks smug. Also: how is driving a Tesla a “flex” these days? They’re not a new brand any more or even really one of those “omg you drive a TESLA?? How COOL!” car brands. Hell, my 46-year-old still-lives-at-home virgin sister has a Tesla. (I have a 20-year-old Volkswagen van. /flex)

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    #73

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    Show thyself
    Community Member
    2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    #madeupkidthursday --- kid (6y/o) shoves tax-report to me "there's an error! You can save some money here & here!" •°• #realkidthursday --- kid (6y/o) somehow got grubby, little hands on tax-report... scribbles tiny monsters/animals/plants/etc all over it

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    #76

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    Kevin Garren
    Community Member
    2 years ago (edited) DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Stop lying, nobody comes to your parties. You probably don't even have a son.

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    Mattewis88
    Community Member
    2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    I'd say this says he's jealous of people who have more hair on their chin than he has on his head.

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    #78

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    Aahzmandus Pervect
    Community Member
    2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Hiring manager: Why would I hire you? Me: I don't know, you are the one looking for new employees

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    Donkey boi
    Community Member
    2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    You can't teach psychopathy or sociopathy, Matt. Besides, that's not quite how it works. There is ZERO fear, no voice inside saying we can't do it, the voice is saying 'How do I do it without getting caught'. Once it's done the voice changes to 'Do it again, do it again!', only this time it wasn't as thrilling, so we end up chasing that high, often taking higher risks or pushing the boundaries to make it more exciting. In our single mindedness our world starts to crumble until we either gain control and fight the addiction or fail in a dramatic fashion and destroy ourselves, either way, our habit will end.

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    Well-Dressed Wolf
    Community Member
    2 years ago (edited) DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    I would hate to have this guy for a dad. I had a great dad who, you know, answered the questions I had when I was a kid. Even the “why?” ones. Like a normal parent.

    #82

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    Albino
    Community Member
    2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Did they specify the year? Don't expect it to be this year.

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    #85

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    Stéphane Lussier Johnson
    Community Member
    2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    How do you "nearly" chip a tooth? It's either chipped or it's not. Words like "nearly", "almost" and "barely" are used to complain about events and consequences that didn't happen. Just like that story.

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    Jordi Sharpe
    Community Member
    2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    I wear a hat because I have a receding hairline, and I'm vain. See? One sentence!

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    James016
    Community Member
    2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Is this how you announced it to family? I hope you did so they know you are unhinged

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    Nathaniel
    Community Member
    2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    I used the toilets at Harvard, and I ate at the cafeteria at Harvard. I lost my virginity to a prostitute whilst at Harvard.

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    #93

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    keighterz
    Community Member
    2 years ago (edited) DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    This doesn’t seem like an improbable conversation. Five-year-olds know more than people think. Especially if a kid saw their parent working on the same things all the time. Not sure why she felt the need to share such a pointless conversation no one cares about tho

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    Well-Dressed Wolf
    Community Member
    2 years ago (edited) DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Your kid will loathe you if you do this to him for his 13th birthday. You know those FaceBook posts from parents who are like “my son and I only speak once a year, now that he’s an adult and has moved out”? This is how it starts.

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    Mirt
    Community Member
    2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Well thanks for the heads up you are short and hairy

    #100

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    Well-Dressed Wolf
    Community Member
    2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Never take NO for an answer, even if she says she doesn’t want to go out with you! -Brandon

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    Nathaniel
    Community Member
    2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    "...I watch her through my binoculars, I watch her in her apartment at night to make sure she if safe."

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    #105

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    Gul Dukat
    Community Member
    2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    If the old man can't write as good as the others, he shouldn't try "helping" them

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    #106

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