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It can be quite astonishing what a simple ancestry DNA test can do. You order a kit, send in a simple saliva sample and your entire genome is checked over thousands of locations in order to reveal your ethnicity, genetic markers, relatives, and sometimes unexpected family secrets.
Finding out that you’re adopted or discovering a sibling that you never knew even existed sounds like something you see in the movies. But when Reddit user VideoFork asked, “People who have taken an ancestry DNA test and accidentally uncovered a family secret, what was it?“, thousands of replies started pouring in.
We have collected some of the most surprising comments from this viral thread, so continue scrolling! And if you have some family mysteries you want to share, don’t be shy and write them in a comment below.
This post may include affiliate links.
#1
My son is my fourth cousin. We adopted him as an infant from an agency. Fun to find that we are actually related!
Bored Panda reached out to the author of this post, VideoFork, who was kind enough to share a few thoughts about ancestry DNA tests and the unexpected results some people receive. The user is not sure where they got the idea to start this viral thread, but guessed that it was probably from a video online. “The thing with r/AskReddit is it’s an open place but a lot of people’s personal stories don’t get heard because the topic may not suit them,” they explained.
They created the post because “we’ve all heard so many weird family stories (and I have many of my own) and with the addition of DNA Ancestry becoming easier for people to acquire, although still not cheap, you can find out crazy things about yourself and your family.”
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#2
I was adopted and always knew I was adopted. My parents told me that I came from a family that lived several towns over, and I was a surprise. When the tests came back, I found out I had a first cousin. I emailed them, started comparing notes, and wham! First, my biological mom was single. Second, I was not a late addition. I had four sisters and one brother. I was the baby, but only by a couple of years. Third, most all of them lived nearby.
Finally, nobody knew I was alive! My biological mom had passed. She had kept the pregnancy secret from everybody else. Before she died, she confided in one of my biological sisters that she had a baby a long time ago, and she had put the baby up for adoption. She told nobody else. When my sister told the rest of the family they didn't believe her! So when I finally looked them up, she was like, 'See! All those years! I told you so! We have a baby brother!' It was an amazing experience.
More than 30K members decided to share their interesting stories. When we asked the user why are others so interested in hearing them, they suggested that it might help people cope a little better. Some stories are worse than others, and “no one wants to say it but you always think somewhere deep down, ‘Wow at least that’s not me’.”
Of course, some of the members can be craving gossip, so for them the crazier the story, the better. However, more often than not, exchanging such experiences brings people together: “If you share a story about a part of your life that’s personal to you, you’re giving that part of yourself to help people to see that ’Hey, if this happened to me, then wow, you can deal with anything!’”
#3
Being a white male raised in the south with some really racist family members they were shocked that we had 4 percent African in us.
Just goes to show you how stupid racism is.
#4
I did the health DNA one 18 months ago because I wanted to see if I had the breast cancer gene, as there are several incidences on both sides of my family. Got my results and became very confused because it claimed I had no Italian despite my father's grandma literally coming over from Sicily in 1920. It took me a few minutes to realize what that actually meant. My parents have been together since my mother was 14, I was born when she was 17, and my father joined the military and married my mother. I called my mom and she literally said, 'That's interesting' and then she asked me not to talk to my father about it.
My sister ended up doing a DNA test and it showed that we were half siblings.
Looking into the past of your parents or grandparents can uncover hidden secrets which can be hard to accept. The user shared their personal experience of finding out something so unexpected that they had a difficult time handling it. It turns out that their grandfather sexually assaulted their grandmother way before they were born. VideoFork, who is now 23 years old, said that they do not wish to know any more details. The hardest thing was “that he died before I found out and I had known him all of my life and never saw a violent side to him.”
#5
My grandmother is the world's sweetest person, and had a horrible horrible woman as a mother. Her father, though, was incredible. She always talks about how I remind her of him, the small and sweet things they did together, and how much she misses him. Recently, she told me that her mother would tell her "he isn't your real father, you know" whenever she felt like hurting my grandmother some more. This continued until the day she died, and her father escaped her mothers abuse, and never spoke to my grandmother again. My nana doesn't blame him at all, and still loves him very very much to this day.
She decided to go on Ancestry because she said that she needs to know before she dies, although she said it wouldn't change anything about how she felt about him.
Turns out, her mother was right. My grandmother found her biological family and loves to talk about her French heritage that she's now learning about. To this day, she doesn't hold anything against her non-biological dad.
He took care of my grandmother when her mother wouldn't, knowing it wasn't his child. He loved her, soothed her, and nurtured her through as if she was his own and he made sure thought she was. He saved my grandmothers spirit, ill tell you that much. He helped shape her into the most miraculous human being I've ever met.
To this day ill always refer to him as my great grandfather, and if I have a son ill be naming him after him. This story always gets me teary eyed, but the thought of Alistair, my nanas pretend dad, always makes me really happy. I know it makes her happy, too.
#6
I found out I had a full 100% older brother.
My mother got pregnant by my father before they were married, which was scandalous in 1960. So, mom left town and lived with my aunt until the birth. She gave the baby up for adoption and then returned home. A couple of years later, she married my dad and had three more children together, including me. Fifty five years later, after both my parents had died, my aunt let it slip that me and my siblings were not the only children of our parents. My sister took a DNA test, and soon thereafter, we met our new big brother and his family and have become quite close.
“Finding out such jarring information about someone can cause ripples not just in the family but within you,” the user mentioned. And it can take a long time for it to settle. VideoFork said that if you decide to take an Ancestry DNA test with the intention of finding out family secrets, “you need to be prepared for the absolute worst thing you can think of and that won’t even start to fully imagine that gut punch.”
#7
Found out I have a different father. My dad also took a DNA test at the same time and found out his father of 52 years was not his biological father either. As it turns out, I come from a line of bastards.
#8
A few years ago my wife and I both took the 23 and Me test. One of her matches came back with 23%, which is high for someone non-family. She messaged him and they started talking. He was about 10 years older, said he was adopted, and the only thing he knew was some basic biological info. Because of his age, that would have meant her mom was about 14 when she had him, but her mom never said anything about it. She asked her youngest uncle and he said when he was a kid he remembered his sister going away for a few months because she was 'sick' and the family just pretended it never happened. So my wife now has a brother.
#9
Genetic genealogist here. I have handled both volunteer cases and paid cases. The most shocking case I have seen was a person whose DNA led to his mother's admission that she was raped by her older brother. Very difficult situation for the family all around. The person who came to me ended up discovering their uncle was also their father.
I now warn clients, DNA can solve your cases, but they can also uncover difficult family secrets, so really think through the possibilities first.
Despite this, the user is glad that so many had the opportunity to share their stories: “It’s essentially just a question that anyone could ask but it’s good that … [some of] those 30K comments could have helped family members reunite, or people finding help for trauma that happened to them. And if one person feels better from it, then that’s fine by me.”
#10
Found a new first cousin. My Dad's youngest sister had a child out of wedlock and gave her up for adoption. She reached out to me via Ancestry e-mail account and when I read her message I about fell out of my chair. She gave me her phone number and I left work so I could call her. When she answered the phone she just started crying. She never could find any connection to her Mother (my aunt) even though she had her name. She doesn't have any info on her Dad or his family. Her adoptive parents both died by the time she was 35 and she never had any children. So, other than her husband and his sister, she had no other family. I was able to inform her that she had a half sister and 2 half brothers and 5 cousins! Unforunately, her Mother had passed 7 years earlier.
After we hung up, I called her sister and gave her the news. She was totally shocked but reached out to her brothers and told them. they contact her the next day and it has been a happy connection.
It just so happened that I was traveling to her area for work 10 days later, so we met up. I couldn't stop starting at her while we talked because she looked just like her Mother and sister. No denying they were related.
We have visited her and kept in touch these past 2 years and exchanged presents. She is a truly wonderful person and I'm so happy that she has found a family connection with all of us.
#11
I found a half sister that none of my siblings or mother knew about. My dad had an affair 50 years ago and is dead now. For us, it wasn't really a surprise, we already have a half-sister from another affair, but for the newly discovered one it answered a lot of questions and gave my mom some much needed closure. We all met a few times, it was pleasant.
Mad Dragon 3 years ago
My great-grandmother was always told by her foster family that she was given up because she was “a bad girl.” She took a DNA test and found she had five siblings. Her mother died and her dad was a blind immigrant. All his kids were taken from him because he couldn’t work and take care of them. She was reunited with three of her siblings before she died.
#12
My aunt discovered that her mother cheated on her father and she was a product of that affair, meaning she was actually only half-siblings with her four siblings. The rub was that my aunt’s husband was married before he married her. The woman he was married to is the daughter of the man involved in the affair. So no one knew this, but my uncle got divorced and then married his ex-wife’s half-sister. I guess he has a type.
#13
Not me, but a friend.
My friend (34F) decided to get her twin sister and parents a DNA testing kit for Christmas. When her parents opened the gift they looked at each other and said “Oh...thanks.” They quickly tried to move on to other presents. My friend was slightly confused, but dropped it.
Later they went for their Christmas Day walk. The mom and sister were walking ahead while she walked with her dad. Her dad spilled the beans! Her and her sister were adopted. The mother looked back and started crying - she couldn’t believe her husband told her daughter without them talking about it first. They were going to keep it a secret forever.
She had never suspected she or her sister were adopted because they look a lot like their parents. They are also very short, as are their parents.
Whoops!
#14
My male cousin did one and found a female cousin we did not know about. He reached out to her and apparently our deceased uncle was good friends with her mother. Mom wanted a baby so uncle got her pregnant simply as a sperm donor. Female cousin lived a few blocks away from my grandmother. She had met her a few times going around selling Girl Scout cookies or something. My grandmother had no idea that she was buying cookies from her granddaughter.
#15
My coworker found out he had a daughter from a girl he was with once at a party when he was 17. He is in his mid 30s, has a wife and children now. Turns out the mother died of cancer when his daughter was young and she was raised by her grandparents. They met and keep in contact now.
#16
That my grandmother was biracial. She was abandoned shortly after birth at a church by an older white lady, adopted by a white farmer with 11 kids, and stopped talking to most of that family due to nondescript unpleasantness as an older teen. She died 20 years before I was born and looks like Maya Rudolph in the few photos I’ve seen, but insisted she was part-Sicilian.
Anyway, my mom got me a DNA test a few years ago. My grandmother was definitely half-Black, and I have no Sicilian or Italian DNA. I’ve connected with a few distant cousins over email and Zoom, am waiting for the pandemic to mostly end to talk to my dad about it and introduce him to more family.
Samantha Lomb 3 years ago
Sadly this was likely about survival for both great grandma and grandma.
#17
My wife was adopted at birth. This wasn't a secret, as she is brown raised by very white parents. But she lived her whole life thinking she was ethnically Hawaiian, as that was what her mother told her. She took a DNA test, not Hawaiian at all. It came back Native American (the Central America variety).
Flash forward a few years.
There was a falling out with her adoptive parents and communication was cut off. A match for a second cousin shows up one day and we decide to reach out. I figured it was a long shot, as odds are pretty strong a second cousin wouldn't know anything about an adoption 30+ years ago, but the 2nd cousin started asking her family about it and they all started taking DNA tests. Through this process we end up finding an Aunt who was able to help piece together who her biological father l
Katie Lutesinger 3 years ago
"...who her biological father likely is. Although he got deported to Guatemala years ago and they lost contact."
#18
That my father is a registered sex offender.
#19
My wife no longer knows who her father is. We are about to approach her mom about this, but that's a delicate relationship balance to approach due to her mom being very straight laced and proper.
Its shook my wife 45f entire foundation. She was from 6 generations of Texans....now she is lost. I don't know how to help her. She is not real interested in finding out who her real father is yet. She is also relieved because the man she thought was her father is a weird [jerk]. I wish her "dad" her moms current husband of 40 years was her real dad.....though he did legally "adopt" her years ago when the guy she thought was her dad abandoned her.
Its s mess. Hard pass on the DNA tests for me, I'm good being just 90% f**ked up.
Susie Elle 3 years ago
Not to be rude, but I doubt anyone in the 6 generations of Texans is "100% Texan", and though I understand the wife's feeling of being lost, her mom is still part of the generation of Texans. It must be really hard, nonetheless.
#20
I found out about my real father and three half siblings. It ended up being a really good discovery.
#21
I have an uncle that was put up for adoption. He contacted my grandma and she thought he was going to extort her (they’re well off). Turns out he’s a multi, multi millionaire on his own.
They still have limited contact, though my dad has reached out and formed a relationship. Apparently they look exactly alike and have the same personality (which sounds kind of stupid now that I’m writing it out, but they’re only half-siblings).
#22
Found out that my brother is only my half-brother. Our parents were never married, but my mom has insisted my whole life that my dad is my brother's dad. He never acknowledged my brother — claiming that the man my mom was living with at the time was probably his father. My mom has always said the other fellow was simply her roommate.
Samantha Lomb 3 years ago
Poor brother. Imagine being a little kid and wanting your dad to love you, being rejected by the man your mom insists is your dad because he knows better and never knowing your real dad cause your mother insisted he was just a roommate. All the while older brother gets doted on by dad.
#23
My uncle took the test and found a brother and a sister that were given up for adoption, but the family had been told that they died during childbirth.
My grandma died before they did the ancestry test and my grandfather was on his death bed when the first "lost sibling" was discovered. He died and no one brought up to him that they found them and we all met her at his funeral. She is the youngest of all the siblings.
The second lost sibling was found a couple years after that and it turns out he is the oldest of all 10 kids my grandma birthed. We have no idea her reasons for giving her first and last born babies up. Obviously she never thought anyone would find out.
Samantha Lomb 3 years ago
It's entirely possible the hospital stole them and told her they died. This was more common with single mothers but was also done to poorer families too
#24
I took a DNA test and found I am ethnically 25% Ashkenazi Jew. After eight months of serious digging, I found out my grandpa is not my father’s biological father.
ZAPanda 3 years ago
Mother's side or father's side? I am assuming based on the above mention of Grandpa etc that it's father's side. If so, unfortunately the Jewish community won't recognise you on those grounds, my understanding is you have to be jewish on the mother's side. "Nobody's poifect" - Judd Seymore Hirsch
#25
My wife is adopted, but found her biological mom and did one of the genetic tests. Someone matched with her and asked if she knew such and such a name. She found out her dad wasn't her biological dad, but he was actually her mom's boss.
#26
A long lost relative contacted me. He is the same age as my dad and looked straight up related. He was adopted and wanted to connect with his birth family. Long story short, I found out that my grandfather had an affair with my great aunt and they put the baby up for adoption. My great aunt went away while she was pregnant and came back with no baby. It was the 60s. The family was freaking out about it trying to keep it all hush hush. I felt bad for the guy so I did my best to help him out. So technically, he's my uncle/cousin. And we live in kentucky, which makes it even funnier.
#27
My ex-husband's family were proud of their Dutch heritage and claimed to be one of the founding families of the historically Dutch Holland, MI. His ancestry results didn't show any Dutch ancestry. Instead, he had primarily English/Irish ancestry.
Nubis Knight 3 years ago
And it's not possible they migrated to Holland before migrating to US?
#28
My grandma found out her two sisters are actually only half sisters.
After some snooping she comes to find out that her real dad was the guy who owned the corner store where her mom worked growing up.
#29
My FIL found out hes the milkmans son so to speak and everyone else including his sister knew. It explained why they treat his wife and kids like black sheep.
Susie Elle 3 years ago
What do the wife and kids have to do with the FIL being the milkmans son?
#30
A friend discovered that her father was not really her father. Her mom had an affair and she was the result. It tore her family apart. Her father did not know he was not really her father.
What do you think ?
Samantha Lomb 3 years ago
A lot of these seem like secrets better left buried. And a memorial to the horrible effects social conservatism ( racism, prejudice against single mothers, unwed couples etc) has on families
Yort 3 years ago
Not really a scandal, I found out I have a second cousin who was born out of wedlock while his father was working on the railroad (all the livelong day). The father (my great-uncle) wasn’t married at the time, but this was like in the 50s so that’s juicy. Also for a not scandal, I did ancestry dna and proved I’m my father’s daughter lmao. He insisted I wasn’t his like right before I was born - rude - and a nurse said I looked just like him when I was born, and now I have the dna evidence lol. He’s never messaged me, and that’s fine. D**k.
Nugua 3 years ago (edited)
I am always torn with these stories. I mean, what right do you have to mess with other people's lives? Is it worth it destroying other's marriages? If it's your parents, it's one thing. It directly affects you if you dad is not your bio dad. But messing with your grandparents' long buried secrets, ripping open old wounds, retraumatizing raped or abused family members... I don't know.
Eucritta 3 years ago
This is why I've decided not to do one of these tests. My idle curiosity isn't enough of a reason to potentially expose extended family to distress.
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Samantha Lomb 3 years ago
A lot of these seem like secrets better left buried. And a memorial to the horrible effects social conservatism ( racism, prejudice against single mothers, unwed couples etc) has on families
Yort 3 years ago
Not really a scandal, I found out I have a second cousin who was born out of wedlock while his father was working on the railroad (all the livelong day). The father (my great-uncle) wasn’t married at the time, but this was like in the 50s so that’s juicy. Also for a not scandal, I did ancestry dna and proved I’m my father’s daughter lmao. He insisted I wasn’t his like right before I was born - rude - and a nurse said I looked just like him when I was born, and now I have the dna evidence lol. He’s never messaged me, and that’s fine. D**k.
Nugua 3 years ago (edited)
I am always torn with these stories. I mean, what right do you have to mess with other people's lives? Is it worth it destroying other's marriages? If it's your parents, it's one thing. It directly affects you if you dad is not your bio dad. But messing with your grandparents' long buried secrets, ripping open old wounds, retraumatizing raped or abused family members... I don't know.
Eucritta 3 years ago
This is why I've decided not to do one of these tests. My idle curiosity isn't enough of a reason to potentially expose extended family to distress.
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