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Cringe is everywhere around us. Within us, even. So when Reddit user PaddedValls made a post on r/AskUK, inviting people to share their most embarrassing moments, many did. So we decided it would be a nice idea to pick out the wildest stories and remind each other that we are all exceptionally good at making a fool out of ourselves. I know this might not be very comforting in the moment of, but after enough time passes, at least we're left with something laugh at.
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#1
In Vietnam, I visited a tiny spa for my first ever massage! The staff couldn't speak English, and I couldn't speak Vietnamese, so we used interesting hand gestures and did a lot of pointing.
I pointed to a picture with "30 minutes" for my massage. They handed me a towel and... a shower cap? They pointed to a bathroom at the back of the spa and did a mine of someone undressing, and then I went to get changed.
I emerged in my towel, and the ladies at the spa burst out laughing and started pointing at my head. They started typing something on Google Translate to inform me that the "shower cap" was actually a pair of paper knickers. I felt like such a tit, and burst out laughing with them.
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#2
In a restaurant I needed to fart, so waited for a loud bit in the background music, then let rip. Then remembered I had earphones on.
#3
*Sigh* sadly this was not long ago. I was trying to say to my senior colleague “Well blow me down” And mid-mouth movement thought, no, GCP. Better to say, you could knock me over with a feather. What I actually said. To essentially my boss, was: *Blow me, FeatherKnocker.*
My husband says this to me regularly now.
#4
We had a math exam in high school. The teacher distributed the test to everyone and always started the time at his clock "officially" so that we have exactly 45 minutes to write the test. As he counts down everyone in class was dead quit waiting for the start to turn their papers. One second before the countdown was over I accidentally released a VERY loud fart. After a moment of silence everyone started laughing. Then the teacher said "Well, this was your starting signal, Go!" We wrote the test and during the whole 45 minutes from somewhere in some row somebody started laughing by themselves again and infected a couple of other people. This suppressed laughter is the funniest and spreads like a virus. It were some very long 45 minutes for me.
#5
My boss told all of us that she had an inoperable brain tumor. Without missing a beat I said, “I told you this place would [end] you.” It’s been 20 years, I’m still mortified.
#6
A bit similar to yours, I walked all the way to a nearby village, about 4 miles to meet a girl when I was about 16.
I didn’t have money for the bus but didn’t tell her that. unbeknown to me I had grass and leaves all in my hair. She was very confused.
I had to confess I had walked and taken a shortcut through a corn field
It must have worked as she married me and we’ve been together for nearly 20 years
Her grandad gave me a lift back home when it was time for me go. Apparently, I had won him over straight away having walked all that way to meet his granddaughter.
#7
Yeah this is easy. In my 20s, I had a crush on someone at work. I bumped into him on the way back from the works canteen one afternoon, I'd told my team I was going and asked if anyone had any orders. Consequently I had my arms filled with chocolate and crisps.
He said something like "I hope that's not all for you"
I said - I will never know why - in a squeaky cartoon character voice, "I'm actually a little squirrel storing up all my nuts for the winter"
He looked sort of horrified. I went into a panic mode and exited the scene quickly... doing little jumps and squeaks LIKE A SQUIRREL
It was a lonely summer.
#8
I was working long hours building a studio set. I ended up staying in a nearby Travelodge, paid for by work. The next day, in front of the carpenters and warehouse guys and all assembled people I said to the boss "Thank you for last night. And this morning.".
#9
When I was maybe 8 or so I really fancied this girl in my class but she was ‘going out’ with my best friend at the time. One day they broke up, as kids do, and I saw my chance. Asked her out, she said yes, and I invited her to mine to hang out one afternoon. I figured I needed to buy her a gift so I went to New Look and found a hot pink necklace that said ‘sexy’. That’s perfect, I thought! Bought it for all of two quid and showed my mum when I got home. She laughed and told me it was highly inappropriate for an 8 year old. Gave it to her anyway and she broke up with me because she didn’t like it.
edit: should add that i ended up a flaming homo so, was probably for the best.
#10
I was standing at my back fence smoking a joint, and the Amazon deliverer came up to me and asked "are you 13?" Me, a bit stoned and waiting for parts for a vape, assumed she was asking my age to verify if I was over 18 and take the package. I looked at her like she was stupid and said "yeah of course, I'm 28 years old!"
She says "...I mean, is your house number 13?"
Not the worst in the world, but I felt so stupid after 😭.
#11
When I was at University there was a blind student whose lectures were in the same building as mine. He had a guide dog - a Golden Retriever - and being young I decided to speak to him - you know, prove I considered him as just another student, I wasn't ableist, etc etc.
And what was the first thing that fell out of my mouth when I opened it?
"Isn't your dog a lovely colour?"
To his eternal credit, he grinned and replied, "So they tell me.".
Phil Green 22 hours ago
Not only did you ignore the fact he was blind but you made him feel sighted! Nothing wrong with that. Never see the disability.
#12
I was working on a huge building site as an apprentice. I often had to take drawings to the site office of another company who were sharing the job with the company who I worked for.
I always took the opportunity to 'chat up' their hot admin girl and had boasted to others on the site that she was flirting with me.
One day near the end of Summer I went round there, and she said "I guess I won't be seeing you after this week eh"
I looked confused and asked why, and she said "because the school holidays are finishing and you'll be going back to school"
She thought I was a schoolboy helping my dad out over the Summer.
#13
Hadn't long started my first job as an IT apprentice. I was a really shy, quiet teenager who barely spoke, let alone cracked jokes or did "banter".
One day my boss asked if I had finished doing something. I thought it would be funny to reply with a Simpsons quote - "As long as there are absolutely no followup questions, yes, yes I have".
But I f****d it up and actually said "As long as you don't ask me again, yes".
Boss had a real short fuse but somehow managed to keep from exploding at me, although I could tell he wanted to as he went bright red.
He just stood there for a second before silently walking off as I hoped a hole would open up in the floor.
Oh just thought of another one - was chatting to the old lady next door about a cat that kept trying to get into people's houses. I meant to say "I wouldn't mind it coming in but I'm allergic to cat hair and get a really bad reaction", but stumbled over my words and said "really bad erection"...
#14
Without looking, when I was a young teen, I started walking with another family in the supermarket right next to their trolley. I only realised as I was about to put a bag of crisps in their trolley and got an awkward look from Not-My-Mum lady.
I scarpered, never seen them since, I often wonder what life would have been like..
#15
During a work conversation about musical instruments we'd learned when we were young, a Chinese colleague said she'd played the piano. I asked whether she'd learned Chopsticks. I had precisely no thought for the connection, until everyone sort of just moved away from disgusting racist me.
#16
My first ever job out of university was working for a consultancy in London, and it had an open plan office where we were all sat and could hear all and see all. It was quite a stuffy environment as you might expect, very old school place.
Anyway on the end of my FIRST day, I went to go home, I had my headphones in already and I tried to say "Ok, bye guys!" to the people near me.
What actually happened was me shouting "OK BYE GAYS!" at the top of my lungs to the entire floor.
#17
Not my cringe but my sister's. She's a very relaxed chatty personality and upon joining her new office job, she accidentally said love you at the end of a Teams call to her boss. Mortifying!
Pandemonium 1 day ago
Colleague made the same mistake so we often end our calls with "love you!" I'm a grumpy old cynic but it's better for morale and comradery than polo shirts with the company logo.
#18
I went to my work Christmas Party in black skinny jeans and a flannel shirt, literally all of the other 100+ guys there were in suit and tie.
#19
In year 8 or 9 I didn't want to do sports day at school so I pretended to faint, right on the field infront of the whole school while the teachers carried me inside.
Child of the Stars 1 day ago
I HATED "sports day" and, for that matter, everything related to PE. I've heard about some schools offering alternatives like yoga now, and oh, I wish so much that had been an option 30 years ago!
#20
When I was in the hairdressers she asked where my parting was but I thought she said parking so I replied ‘just up the road!’.
#21
Did a sexy dance for my partner whilst believing my parents were busy in the kitchen. Dad was stood behind me….
#22
A friend of mine (who was a bit of a metal fan and had shoulder length hair) really fancied a girl and she said something about not liking long hair on men, so he cut off his hair that night with scissors and gave her a carrier bag full of hair in school the next day, as an overblown romantic gesture.
She was pretty freaked out and it didn't work, obviously.
#23
In 1993 or 94 I went to my then girlfriend’s 21st birthday party in beige baggy suit trousers, white grandad shirt, and a matching beige waistcoat. I looked like an absolute twat.
#24
Bumped into an old friend, his face looked a bit swollen so I jovially said hello and went bloody hell mate you been stung by a bee or something what's happened there (while laughing).
His response - no mate, I've got cancer and I've lost half my jaw.
Proceeded to show me, I've never wanted to jump into the biggest hole I could find more in my life.
#25
Dance off. A f*****g dance-off. I still can't believe it many years later.... while I was at uni, God knows what possessed me, but I have been grossly ashamed ever since.
#26
Kicked my shoe off on a bus, which sped 3 seats away. Had to get up with 1 shoe on, tap the person on the shoulder who was sitting in the seat my shoe landed under and ask them to get up so I could retrieve it!!
#27
Sat in the sixth form centre having a conversation in a group of around 10 or so.
I can't remember what the guy said to me, due to the sheer embarrassment of what happened next, but whatever he said, I replied with the classic teenager line of 'Your Mum'.
Instantly remembered his mum died in an accident.
In my panic I apologise and say 'oh Your Dad'.
Instantly remembered his dad died in the same accident.
Cue me wanting the earth to swallow me whole.
#28
I thought a bartender was asking me out when he asked for my email for an email receipt. I pointed to my ring finger and said ‘I’m engaged’.
It was the first time I’d ever been asked for an email receipt, if that’s any excuse. It haunts me to this day.
TribbleThinking 22 hours ago
It could be worse. You could have replied in the affirmative for a date.
#29
School reunion... 25 years I think it was. We (group) were having a conversation about teacher's nicknames and I related the one about Miss Biscup who was rather well endowed in the chest department, being called Miss Bigcups.
To Miss Biscup.
#30
I had a crush (I feel like most cringey stories start with that, right?!)
I had a crush on this guy who had loads of friends and was cool. Our group of friends had been on a trip out at camp, and I'd taken lots of pics, but I had some space left on the roll. So, bored, I got a scrabble board and wrote every cheesy word for love and sex that I could fit into the scrabble board, and his name in the middle, and took a picture of it. Had the roll processed. Forgot about the scrabble picture...
Everyone in our friend group wanted to see, and one of the girls snatched the pictures out of my hands before I'd looked through them. Found that one. I was the laughing stock of everyone.
Did I mention I'm also a guy?
What do you think ?
troufaki13 1 day ago
I have 2. A couple of months ago I went out with a friend. When we arrived at the bar I greeted the hostess with "Good morning!" I laughed it off with "Imagine when I start drinking!" The second one was more embarrassing. I was walking down the street when I saw a man I thought he was disheveled and with the appearance of a homeless person. He was holding a cup so that made me really think he was a beggar. I then proceeded to put some change in the cup only to realize he was holding his coffee! I was mortified and ran away as fast as I could without looking back!
Petra Schaap 1 day ago
well Im Miss Cringe, but this one was the first that came to my mind. I was in the UK and realized i never use the coins i always carry around with me so I thought Im going to donate them to the first person begging at the trainstation. It was about 7 pounds. Sure enough theres a guy sitting there asking for some spare change. I said "absolutely!" and gave him the 7 pounds. Obviously he was happy with it so he went like "Oh wow thank you so much!!" i wanted to say "you're welcome, take care!" but as i only had like 3 hrs of sleep the past week, i managed to say "You're welcome, I love you!" I RAN.
Sky Render 20 hours ago
I remember being the victim of a mutual cringe moment back in grade school. Some joker had taken to pantsing kids during recess, and picked me as their target that day. I had unfortunately not worn underwear that day. Never seen the schoolyard noise level go down that fast before or since. Funnily enough nobody got pantsed again that year after that...
Simon Chen 20 hours ago
You sacrifised yourself for the greater good! 👏🏻👏🏻👏🏻
Load More Replies... troufaki13 1 day ago
I have 2. A couple of months ago I went out with a friend. When we arrived at the bar I greeted the hostess with "Good morning!" I laughed it off with "Imagine when I start drinking!" The second one was more embarrassing. I was walking down the street when I saw a man I thought he was disheveled and with the appearance of a homeless person. He was holding a cup so that made me really think he was a beggar. I then proceeded to put some change in the cup only to realize he was holding his coffee! I was mortified and ran away as fast as I could without looking back!
Petra Schaap 1 day ago
well Im Miss Cringe, but this one was the first that came to my mind. I was in the UK and realized i never use the coins i always carry around with me so I thought Im going to donate them to the first person begging at the trainstation. It was about 7 pounds. Sure enough theres a guy sitting there asking for some spare change. I said "absolutely!" and gave him the 7 pounds. Obviously he was happy with it so he went like "Oh wow thank you so much!!" i wanted to say "you're welcome, take care!" but as i only had like 3 hrs of sleep the past week, i managed to say "You're welcome, I love you!" I RAN.
Sky Render 20 hours ago
I remember being the victim of a mutual cringe moment back in grade school. Some joker had taken to pantsing kids during recess, and picked me as their target that day. I had unfortunately not worn underwear that day. Never seen the schoolyard noise level go down that fast before or since. Funnily enough nobody got pantsed again that year after that...
Simon Chen 20 hours ago
You sacrifised yourself for the greater good! 👏🏻👏🏻👏🏻
Load More Replies... You May Like “Having A Baby When I Was 15”: Painful, Awkward, And Uncomfortable Things People Had To Explain 30 Times People Trusted They’d Get Their Way Just Because They Outnumbered The Opposing Side 30 Life Hacks People Have Used Since They Discovered Them Because They Actually Work
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