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29 People Share What They Regret The Most In Their Lives

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As humans, it is common to feel regret for decisions we have made, or for mistakes we have made in the past. It is a feeling that can be overwhelming and difficult to process.

Regret can manifest in many different ways. It is an emotion that can make us look back on our lives and feel as if we have missed out on something, or as if we have made the wrong choices. It can be an emotional burden that can weigh heavily on our minds. It can cause us to second-guess ourselves, feel a lack of confidence, and spiral into depression.

So in order to give you a warm hug if you’re feeling regretful and let you know that you are far from the only one living with this difficult feeling, we looked at the deepest regrets people have about things they have done. This Ask Reddit thread has become a safe place to share it with many people, and below we wrapped up some of the things they said.

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#1

I was seven years of age, I had an argument with my mother the night before she died. Before I went to bed she asked me for a hug I told her NO and stormed off to bed. The next morning I woke up to find everyone in the house was gone, it was very surreal and confusing. My father came back in that morning crying and told me my mother had died of a brain hemorrhage..

Never go to bed on an argument.

Kellbag91 , varyapigu Report

Final score:

228points

#2

I deeply regret picking on this very socially challenged girl when I was younger. I wasn't particularly vicious or anything but I should have used my popularity to stand up for her, or at least treat her right.

GingerDuden , mstandret Report

Final score:

188points

#3

I called my buddy one night because I knew he was having a tough time, I told him I'm coming over, he kept saying no I'm good I'm good...he was less than a mile away. I said okay and then his mom called me in the morning saying he was dead and what did he say to me in the phone call.

I wish I went over

Taaxiua , AnnaStills Report

Final score:

185points

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While feeling regret can be truly daunting, it’s a very human emotion to have. When we think of our regrets, we normally put focus on things like missed opportunities, past decisions, or losses.

Mary C. Lamia Ph.D, a clinical psychologist psychoanalyst who works with adults, couples, adolescents, and preteens, argues that what concerns us the most in terms of our regrets is our failure to live up to our “ideal selves” over and above our preoccupation with the mistakes we have made or the things we ought to have done. This may suggest that in the long run, we regret our inactions more than our actions.

#4

When I was 7 or 8 years old, I snapped at my dad for getting me the wrong video game and I can still see the disappointment in his face. Haunts me to this day.

Caxozma , Rawpixel Report

Final score:

161points

#5

Not fighting and advocating more for myself growing up.

I struggled with classes, jobs, projects and hobbies. I had a really hard time focusing on anything. I was called stupid, lazy and all sorts of other things by my teachers, friends and co-workers. I knew I wasn't any of those things but just couldn't seem to get things right... Now, a father in my 40s, i started seeing similar issues with my daughter and when we went to speak to some specialists it turns out she has ADHD and a generalized anxiety disorder. We got her treatment and a prescription for some medications and she's doing so much better at everything. The similarities in her struggles and mine motivated me to get tested and sure enough I got diagnosed with ADHD (inattentive type).
Started counselling and medication (Adderall) and its like a switch was thrown. I'm a functional human... Finally.
Now I'm just dealing with the emotional trauma of growing up like that and all the pent up frustration and anger over a life that "might have been" had my parents, or anyone for that matter, made an effort to really find out why I was the way I was... Better late than never I guess.

A_bowl_of_porridge , Monstera Report

Final score:

156points

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#6

I deeply regret letting my creative writing and piano playing skills go to s**t. Ever since I entered the corporate world 19 years ago, it has consumed me and I no longer feel passionate about those things. I stopped practicing everything. When I try to make myself do them, it feels like just that, like I am forcing myself and it is no longer fun. I feel like I’ve become a shell of my former self in so many ways.

La_Reina_Rubia , elements.envato.com Report

Final score:

153points

But while life-long regrets are real and powerful aspects of being human, smaller and more instant regrets are also part of our daily lives. They may include a nasty thing we said to our loved one or a spontaneous purchase. Speaking of the latter, impulse buying is often known as something that causes an intense sensation of regret immediately after or a little later.

Typically, an impulsive action like shopping results from tension that has built to the point where the person can no longer resist it. The immediate sense of relief from acting on an impulsive behavior is short-lived.

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#7

Getting married. I spent years paying off her substantial debt, i then dumped another 50k in our "forever house" only to live in it for a year.

Now she's debt free, and I lost half of everything I paid for.

Never again

jamiecarl09 Report

Final score:

146points

#8

Putting time and efforts into relationships/friendships that I should have just let go the first chance I had

illeatyoura*** , Pressmaster Report

Final score:

144points

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#9

Wanting to become adult asap

Regular-Trip3045 , StudioVK Report

Final score:

140points

In the age of consumerism, controlling urges to buy and consume new things every day may be a challenge to many of us, so we reached out to Emily Malamet, a clinical psychologist and psychotherapist from the Paris Psychology Centre, to find out more about controlling our impulse to spend.

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So if you’re currently browsing the sales section online or thinking of deals to catch on Black Friday, you may want to pull your seat closer to make sure you don’t regret any of these buys later.

Malamet told us people with compulsive shopping disorder may resort to borrowing money from family and friends to be able to shop more, which in turn can fuel the addiction. So it’s surely not so innocent.

#10

Probably rejecting my granpa when he wanted to play chess, he then fell from a roof like a week later and I never had the chance to play chess with him again, still bothers me that I kinda never had this moment with him..

nemgtas , Image-Source Report

Final score:

139points

#11

Being too kind to people that do me wrong all the time

thatonecustodian , SHVETS production Report

Final score:

137points

#12

Not opening a retirement account when I was 18 like I was told to.

That and not investing my money I made bartending in my 20s. When you're that young you don't think about things like that unfortunately.

buthomeisnowhere , zelmab Report

Final score:

114points

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“Relationships with loved ones can become more and more strained over time because those who have a shopping addiction may continually ask to borrow money even when they don’t have the capacity to pay back their debt.”

Moreover, the feelings of intense shame, regret and and desire to hide spending go hand in hand with shopping addiction. This often leads to lying, Malamet argues, something that can put a huge strain romantic relationships and friendships.

#13

Use my credit card too much to buy things I didn’t need. Now I’m dealing with a maxed out credit card that’s killing me every month.

MrRontendo , YuriArcursPeopleimages Report

Final score:

114points

#14

My mom died nearly one year ago. She battled ALS for two years. It was very sudden and a horrific experience. The last thing she said to me before she lost the ability to speak was “stay”. She was dying and afraid and just wanted her daughter to stay by her side, but I couldn’t do it. I couldn’t sit and watch her die. It was excruciating for me. I did visit her every day until her death, but she was no longer there really. She died a week later. I will never forgive myself.

paula36 , stockasso Report

Final score:

110points

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#15

Focusing on boys and relationships instead of friends in high school and college. I should have developed my social skills and had a whole group of friends instead of wasting my time and breaking my heart over immature guys.

WillBsGirl , valeriygoncharukphoto Report

Final score:

109points

Some signs that a person might be suffering from a shopping addiction include but are not limited to, according to Malamet, things like always thinking about things they are going to purchase and being unable to stop their cycle of compulsive shopping.

Other symptoms include a rush of euphoria after having made a purchase, an urge to buy that's overwhelming and must be gratified instantly, and feeling regret or guilt about things that they have bought. Many people with shopping addiction start to face financial problems or the inability to pay off debt which in turn makes them lie about things they have purchased or hiding what they have bought.

Meanwhile, “normal shopping involves purchasing items which are needed and used, the absence of compulsion, a lack of financial distress from purchases and having occasional splurges,” the psychologist explained.

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#16

Slacking off in high school and not taking college seriously. I could have worked harder, and found a career where I would be financially stable, yet here I am.

JitteryBendal , RODNAE Productions Report

Final score:

99points

#17

I deeply regret ghosting someone I really did like. And she liked me. I had some bouts with extreme anxiety last year and just kind of couldn't function. I think I was also not really prepared for meeting her. It was unexpected. I think I wasn't in a great place for that at that time. I don't know if I should reach out to apologize or not. I don't know if she would want to hear from me. I probably will and I do want to. I want her to know it wasn't because I didn't like her. I really did. I really feel terrible about it

BurnerThrowaway999 , voronaman111 Report

Final score:

98points

#18

Cheating on my girlfriend. I ended up breaking up with her because i couldn't deal with the guilt anymore. She deserved better. I still feel bad for hurting her.

brotherofiron612 , https://elements.envato.com/frustrated-cheated-man-husband-thinking-about-betr-R4KWV47 Report

Final score:

97points

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#19

Not getting a second opinion sooner on my back injury. Injured my back at work in 2014, was taken to a WorkCover doctor where I now know I was misdiagnosed and then gaslighted by the workplace OH&S officer. Had I known that I could seek a second opinion from another doctor while on WorkCover, it would have been found that I had a permanent disc protrusion that was impacting a major nerve.

I waited 7 years to seek a different opinion, all because I believed the WorkCover doctor and a physio couldn't be wrong as they were professionals and that I had 'just a simple back strain'. Meanwhile I'm walking around in chronic pain with a disc protrusion that could've ruptured at any given moment.

I'm now permanently disabled thanks to my own stupidity. And I can't take legal action against the company now as there is only a 3 year grace period to do so.

crazylittleEntity , insidecreativehouse Report

Final score:

89points

#20

Used my new cordless power drill without reading the instructions. It’s a LOT more powerful than my old corded drill was. Fourth hand surgery coming up soon.

Mentalfloss1 , Ono Kosuki Report

Final score:

86points

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#21

Letting anxiety and depression ruin so many opportunities for me

Also, becoming a parent. Despite loving my kid, I feel I'm just no good at it and its destroyed my sense of who I am as an individual.

Background-Catch2475 , AnnaStills Report

Final score:

83points

#22

Getting married to my first girlfriend at 19. I rushed the relationship because it felt good to not be alone and I thought that I could help her with her depression and anxiety, was hoping to have kid with her as well. However as time went on she just got worse and worse and kept using her depression as a crutch to justify every s****y thing she did.

When I started experiencing depression I stopped trying to keep things together and we got divorced a few years ago. I still haven't recovered mentally from it and between that and the pandemic I feel like a shell of the man I used to be.

ancap_attack , Rawpixel Report

Final score:

75points

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#23

Too many things to list here. One I think about too much is how I ruined a good friendship with a girl because I let my real feelings get in the way. Basically I went full incel and wrote her a letter telling her she was a horrible person. Took me way too long to realize it was me that was horrible (and stupid)

Poultrygeist74 , Ba Tik Report

Final score:

62points

#24

I regret my tattoos. They aren’t the worst, but I’ve outgrown them. I wish I hadn’t been so impulsive when I decided to get them.

Arguments I’ve had with my mom. I haven’t been the nicest daughter the past few months and I feel awful about it. I apologize after every argument, but I know I can’t take back the grief and hurt I caused.

Itsgivingbitch , brinhghes10 Report

Final score:

62points

#25

I wish I was hungrier. I love my job, but I've worked here forever and there were multiple times where I could have been groomed for management positions and I just was content to pick up a check.

Outside of that, not taking music seriously. A lot of my friends and family say I have talent but I have a hard time believing that.

UrchineSLICE , KostiantynVoitenko Report

Final score:

46points

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Liucija Adomaite

Liucija Adomaite is a creative mind with years of experience in copywriting. She has a dynamic set of experiences from advertising, academia, and journalism. This time, she has set out on a journey to investigate the ways in which we communicate ideas on a large scale. Her current mission is to find a magic formula for how to make ideas, news, and other such things spread like a virus.

Liucija Adomaite is a creative mind with years of experience in copywriting. She has a dynamic set of experiences from advertising, academia, and journalism. This time, she has set out on a journey to investigate the ways in which we communicate ideas on a large scale. Her current mission is to find a magic formula for how to make ideas, news, and other such things spread like a virus.

Viktorija Ošikaitė

I'm a visual editor here at Bored Panda and I enjoy a good laugh. My work ranges from serious topics related to toxic work environments and relationship difficulties to humorous articles about online shopping fails and introvert memes. When I'm not at my work desk, checking if every single pixel is in the right place, I usually spend my free time playing board games, taking pictures, and watching documentaries

I'm a visual editor here at Bored Panda and I enjoy a good laugh. My work ranges from serious topics related to toxic work environments and relationship difficulties to humorous articles about online shopping fails and introvert memes. When I'm not at my work desk, checking if every single pixel is in the right place, I usually spend my free time playing board games, taking pictures, and watching documentaries

What do you think ?

Lakota Wolf 1 year ago (edited)

I was depressed and mopey on Thanksgiving Day when I was 18. I'd just been dumped by my first boyfriend. After the meal, I went to hang out with my friends instead of staying with my family. My dad started putting up the Christmas lights at home and fell off of the ladder. He sustained a catastrophic brain injury and was bedridden in diapers in a near-vegetative state for the next 21 years. His body was alive, but my dad was gone. I wish I'd stayed home. Maybe I couldn't have prevented the accident, but I would have been outside helping with the lights and I might have told him not to go up onto the roof. I have regretted that every day since. He died two years ago.

23points

censorshipsucks 1 year ago

wow that is terrible, I am so sorry to hear. My dad had the same thing naturally not from a fall. I regret our last conversation with him because I wasn't kind. The next week he was gone. These things happen and it is tough. The moral of the story is always to focus on others and being kind, rather than self-indulgent. However, 18 year olds are just self-indulgent, that is how they are.

8points

Load More Replies...

Seonag Udell 1 year ago

I'm so sorry for all the pain you've been through. I'm sure your dad knew you were there for him for those 21 years, and for staying by his side when he passed. I think your very brave and strong, although I know you may not always feel that way. Wishing the best for you now.

5points

Old Roadie 1 year ago (edited)

... you were still young and could not have changed a thing. Honest. He was going to do what he was going to do. My heart goes out to you, and it's my hope you find a measure of peace.

1point

Katy Cordeth 1 year ago (edited)

Good heavens, Lakota Wolf. By all means feel guilty over things that could have been predicted. "If I don't go to my family's house today my dad might fall off a ladder and experience a massive, life-changing injury" does not fit into that category. Around ten years ago my mum asked me if I was coming up on Christmas Eve. I didn't feel like it so declined. She and my dad took their dog out for a walk that day and my then-70-year-old mater slipped and fell on the ice and shattered her right wrist. That thing was in bits, and she had to have a plate and screws and stuff put in. I know for a *fact* that had I gone up on the 24th this would not have happened and she wouldn't have spent Christmas Day crying in agony. (The NHS is great but it also sucks due to underfunding and the slow but interminable creep of privatisation by successive Tory administrations.) I know this isn't the same as the tragedy that befell your father; the only similarity is there was no possible way it could have been foreseen.

1point

Cassi Lyris 1 year ago (edited)

That's horrible, but it is not your fault. If your Dad was even slightly good as a father (I don't know) then he'd absolutely want you to be happy.

1point

Samara Morgan 1 year ago

He was an adult. It was only his fault, not yours. If he fell while talking to you, you would feel guilty anyway. All of you suffered because of his accident, please don't feel guilty.

0points

ThisIsMe 1 year ago

As a child I would never spend the night at my grandmother's house. We saw her often and she always asked, but honestly I was very creeped out by her husband. He would want me to sit on his lap, tickle me while I screamed for him to stop, and just generally torment me. I was never alone with him, and my grandmother and mother would always yell at him to stop, but I was afraid if I spent the night I might find myself alone with him at some point. I regret not having been honest with my mother as to why I didn't want to stay with my grandmother, who was always very disappointment that I wanted to go home.

15points

Vivi 1 year ago

Seems like they should've figured it out themselves though so don't beat yourself up. Maybe they honestly knew why you didn't want to spend the night. At least they didn't force you.

8points

Load More Replies...

talliloo 1 year ago (edited)

my regret is double edged. my mom passed away on christmas eve. she always made a big dinner on that night and she wanted me to take care of that for the family. at the last minute i had to run to the store for something. the hospital was just a few blocks away from the store. as i was getting into my car my body did a full freeze and i looked in direction of the hospital, feeling like i should get there as soon as i could. i came back to the house with the phone ringing. it was the hospital telling me that she had just passed. i have since felt that i should have just said f**k the dinner and gone to her but, at the same time, i knew that she didn't want to ruin the holiday event. dinner that night was surreal because all of the adults in the family sat at the table looking shell shocked but, because of the younger children, we didn't want to openly grieve and mark the holiday as the day that gram/great gram died.

12points

Nadine Debard 1 year ago

My mother passed away on New Year's Eve, and I cooked and we ate the dinner together in tribute to her because that's what she would have wanted. I know the feeling.

6points

Load More Replies...

Old Roadie 1 year ago

Stayed at hospital 24/7 for days, as end of life vigil for my dad. Nurse finally convinced me to run home and get some food and clothes. He passed away about 20 minutes later. I was *so upset. Then nurse told me it happens every day. Dying family want to spare their survivors the memory of the moment of death. It's a final, parting gift. Hope her words bring you comfort... it changed the way I look at end of life. In past 5 or 6 years I've stood guard for 3 more vigils.

2points

Miss Frankfurter 1 year ago (edited)

This is true. As a former nurse, I can verify this. My parents and I always agreed that we didn’t want anyone of us there to see whoever is dying take their last breath. Just what we agreed for our reasons. With my dad we honoured that. I’m an only child and when mom was dying I had no support with me. I was on my own. I called late after I knew the nurses would be finished bedtime. The nurse told me mom would probably not make it through the night. It was a very small step down unit. From my mom’s bedside you were able to hear someone on the phone. The nurse asked me when I would get there. When I did arrive mom was gone. The nurse said that while she was talking to me she could hear my mom breathing. When she hung up, she couldn’t. Mom was gone. When mom heard the nurse asking about when I would arrive, she left. She made sure I would not see her take her last breath. She made sure of that.

1point

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Lakota Wolf 1 year ago (edited)

I was depressed and mopey on Thanksgiving Day when I was 18. I'd just been dumped by my first boyfriend. After the meal, I went to hang out with my friends instead of staying with my family. My dad started putting up the Christmas lights at home and fell off of the ladder. He sustained a catastrophic brain injury and was bedridden in diapers in a near-vegetative state for the next 21 years. His body was alive, but my dad was gone. I wish I'd stayed home. Maybe I couldn't have prevented the accident, but I would have been outside helping with the lights and I might have told him not to go up onto the roof. I have regretted that every day since. He died two years ago.

23points

censorshipsucks 1 year ago

wow that is terrible, I am so sorry to hear. My dad had the same thing naturally not from a fall. I regret our last conversation with him because I wasn't kind. The next week he was gone. These things happen and it is tough. The moral of the story is always to focus on others and being kind, rather than self-indulgent. However, 18 year olds are just self-indulgent, that is how they are.

8points

Load More Replies...

Seonag Udell 1 year ago

I'm so sorry for all the pain you've been through. I'm sure your dad knew you were there for him for those 21 years, and for staying by his side when he passed. I think your very brave and strong, although I know you may not always feel that way. Wishing the best for you now.

5points

Old Roadie 1 year ago (edited)

... you were still young and could not have changed a thing. Honest. He was going to do what he was going to do. My heart goes out to you, and it's my hope you find a measure of peace.

1point

Katy Cordeth 1 year ago (edited)

Good heavens, Lakota Wolf. By all means feel guilty over things that could have been predicted. "If I don't go to my family's house today my dad might fall off a ladder and experience a massive, life-changing injury" does not fit into that category. Around ten years ago my mum asked me if I was coming up on Christmas Eve. I didn't feel like it so declined. She and my dad took their dog out for a walk that day and my then-70-year-old mater slipped and fell on the ice and shattered her right wrist. That thing was in bits, and she had to have a plate and screws and stuff put in. I know for a *fact* that had I gone up on the 24th this would not have happened and she wouldn't have spent Christmas Day crying in agony. (The NHS is great but it also sucks due to underfunding and the slow but interminable creep of privatisation by successive Tory administrations.) I know this isn't the same as the tragedy that befell your father; the only similarity is there was no possible way it could have been foreseen.

1point

Cassi Lyris 1 year ago (edited)

That's horrible, but it is not your fault. If your Dad was even slightly good as a father (I don't know) then he'd absolutely want you to be happy.

1point

Samara Morgan 1 year ago

He was an adult. It was only his fault, not yours. If he fell while talking to you, you would feel guilty anyway. All of you suffered because of his accident, please don't feel guilty.

0points

ThisIsMe 1 year ago

As a child I would never spend the night at my grandmother's house. We saw her often and she always asked, but honestly I was very creeped out by her husband. He would want me to sit on his lap, tickle me while I screamed for him to stop, and just generally torment me. I was never alone with him, and my grandmother and mother would always yell at him to stop, but I was afraid if I spent the night I might find myself alone with him at some point. I regret not having been honest with my mother as to why I didn't want to stay with my grandmother, who was always very disappointment that I wanted to go home.

15points

Vivi 1 year ago

Seems like they should've figured it out themselves though so don't beat yourself up. Maybe they honestly knew why you didn't want to spend the night. At least they didn't force you.

8points

Load More Replies...

talliloo 1 year ago (edited)

my regret is double edged. my mom passed away on christmas eve. she always made a big dinner on that night and she wanted me to take care of that for the family. at the last minute i had to run to the store for something. the hospital was just a few blocks away from the store. as i was getting into my car my body did a full freeze and i looked in direction of the hospital, feeling like i should get there as soon as i could. i came back to the house with the phone ringing. it was the hospital telling me that she had just passed. i have since felt that i should have just said f**k the dinner and gone to her but, at the same time, i knew that she didn't want to ruin the holiday event. dinner that night was surreal because all of the adults in the family sat at the table looking shell shocked but, because of the younger children, we didn't want to openly grieve and mark the holiday as the day that gram/great gram died.

12points

Nadine Debard 1 year ago

My mother passed away on New Year's Eve, and I cooked and we ate the dinner together in tribute to her because that's what she would have wanted. I know the feeling.

6points

Load More Replies...

Old Roadie 1 year ago

Stayed at hospital 24/7 for days, as end of life vigil for my dad. Nurse finally convinced me to run home and get some food and clothes. He passed away about 20 minutes later. I was *so upset. Then nurse told me it happens every day. Dying family want to spare their survivors the memory of the moment of death. It's a final, parting gift. Hope her words bring you comfort... it changed the way I look at end of life. In past 5 or 6 years I've stood guard for 3 more vigils.

2points

Miss Frankfurter 1 year ago (edited)

This is true. As a former nurse, I can verify this. My parents and I always agreed that we didn’t want anyone of us there to see whoever is dying take their last breath. Just what we agreed for our reasons. With my dad we honoured that. I’m an only child and when mom was dying I had no support with me. I was on my own. I called late after I knew the nurses would be finished bedtime. The nurse told me mom would probably not make it through the night. It was a very small step down unit. From my mom’s bedside you were able to hear someone on the phone. The nurse asked me when I would get there. When I did arrive mom was gone. The nurse said that while she was talking to me she could hear my mom breathing. When she hung up, she couldn’t. Mom was gone. When mom heard the nurse asking about when I would arrive, she left. She made sure I would not see her take her last breath. She made sure of that.

1point

Load More Comments

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