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Contrary to a common misconception, fear isn't something we're born with, it's something we develop over time. In fact, babies don't exhibit it for the first time until they're around 8 to 12 months of age.

That means that most of our fears are learned at some point in our lives, and they're not all learned in the same way. Some fears, as psychologist Dr. Vanessa LoBue points out, can be learned by conditioning, or by having a negative experience with something. For instance, you might learn to be afraid of dogs if you’ve been bitten by a dog, or you might learn to be afraid of bees after getting stung. But we can also develop the jitters to things by watching someone else's fearful reaction. For example, instead of growing to be afraid of dogs by being bitten, we can also develop a fear of dogs by watching a friend freak out at the sight of a snarling Chihuahua. Likewise, we can learn to be afraid of dogs by hearing negative information as well, like hearing from your mom that little dogs bite.

So Reddit user Mahouswen decided to investigate this further and asked people on the platform to share what they find horrific in adulthood that didn't even bother them in childhood.

#1

"What Fact Became Terrifying To You As An Adult, Which You Didn't Notice As A Child?" (30 Answers) The extreme stupidity of the vast majority of humans.

Earthling1a , Ryoji Iwata Report

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    #2

    "What Fact Became Terrifying To You As An Adult, Which You Didn't Notice As A Child?" (30 Answers) How expensive grocery shopping is.

    CaptainAwesome0912 , Mick Haupt Report

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    The Doom Song
    Community Member
    7 months ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Now I know why my mum had a budget. Groceries are dang expensive

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    #3

    The fact that monsters do exist, they are people.

    Bork_Knuckle Report

    #4

    "What Fact Became Terrifying To You As An Adult, Which You Didn't Notice As A Child?" (30 Answers) How unfair the life actually is.

    DavidRoyran , MART PRODUCTION Report

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    Nina
    Community Member
    7 months ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Yes, and how little influence you actually have on how it pans out. People think their life is malleable to their wishes, but we have way less influence than we think we have.

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    #5

    Capitalism is by far the most evil and psychopathic system in human history.

    The rabbit hole never ends.

    Allergic2thesun Report

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    Nina
    Community Member
    7 months ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    It is indeed. While corporations make massive profits and ceo's get ridiculous amounts of money, there is "no space in the budget" to raise the wages of the employees.

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    #6

    "What Fact Became Terrifying To You As An Adult, Which You Didn't Notice As A Child?" (30 Answers) The fact that it doesn't take as long to get old as you think it does when you're a kid.

    Or that you have less freedom as an adult than you do as a child (as you wish to be grown so you can do whatever you want whenever you want).

    AnonRedditGuy81 , Daria Obymaha Report

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    ORSOrama
    Community Member
    7 months ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    I think adults really did have more freedom back then, when I was a kid. They had much more money and free time then me and all the people I know now.

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    #7

    Just how common SA is. I was not at all prepared for how inevitable it was that I would be SA/harassed as a woman.

    CalendarAggressive11 Report

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    Tempest
    Community Member
    7 months ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    This!! There’s a statement which says that every woman has experienced sẽxual harassment in their life and it’s no joke! Sometimes you don’t even realize that your experience was sẽxual harassment/abuse. I was 12/13 years old when an uncle nonchalantly groped me during a carpooling session with my dad sitting right next to me (dad was probably nodding off). I didn’t realize that this was messed up until much later in my teens when I started having an unexplained queasy feeling whenever he was around. This is the first time I’ve openly admitted this because I feel so ashamed of it. No I’ve never mentioned this is anyone else because I know my family will never believe me.

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    #8

    "What Fact Became Terrifying To You As An Adult, Which You Didn't Notice As A Child?" (30 Answers) *I'm* the adult now. There isn't anyone responsible for me. I need to be the responsible one. And I have to be the adult responsible for my kid. Who thought it was a good idea to put me in charge?!

    ninjaneeress , Muhammad-Taha Ibrahim Report

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    #9

    "What Fact Became Terrifying To You As An Adult, Which You Didn't Notice As A Child?" (30 Answers) Ain't nobody actually in charge. Everyone is faking it in front of the kids. Should've been much more of a little s**t as a kid. Those adults knew nothing.

    topherysu27 , Caleb Oquendo Report

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    Max Fox
    Community Member
    7 months ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Wrong. There are people in charge, alright, they just don't know what they are doing.

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    #10

    Most people are one paycheck away from becoming homeless.

    Interesting_Good_157 Report

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    Laughing otter
    Community Member
    7 months ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Last week I heard a Republican state senator say that “being poor is a sin.” Of course, he’s an evangelical Christian.

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    #11

    As I get older, one thing that terrifies me more and more, the more I think about it is...

    HOW EXPENSIVE EVERYTHING IS.

    You could BURN through $100, $200 in the blink of an eye, and all you've done is bought groceries and household stuff. You haven't even bought clothes yet, or paid electricity, internet, phone bills, you haven't added anything to savings...and then you think of stuff like credit-card bills...

    How fast you could absolutely ANNIHILATE $1,000 just by trying to STAY ALIVE is truly horrifying to me.

    I don't care WHO you are - $25.00 an hour is NOT a living wage ANYWHERE anymore.

    Dippycat149 Report

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    Nichole Harris
    Community Member
    7 months ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Dear Lord sooooooo this!!! The ONLY thing that keeps me from having a heart attack every time I do the budget is the knowledge that I can't afford that either

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    #12

    "What Fact Became Terrifying To You As An Adult, Which You Didn't Notice As A Child?" (30 Answers) The age of my parents.

    w_ff , Matthias Zomer Report

    #13

    "What Fact Became Terrifying To You As An Adult, Which You Didn't Notice As A Child?" (30 Answers) You never really know someone and their true intentions. The friendly neighbor Gary could actually have a couple bodies in his basement or is a pedophile. Or your co-worker or friend that seems to like you actually hates your guts and is jealous.

    InsightJ15 , Ricky Esquivel Report

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    #14

    "What Fact Became Terrifying To You As An Adult, Which You Didn't Notice As A Child?" (30 Answers) Life is short.

    Confident-Shelter-70 , Brett Sayles Report

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    Tamra
    Community Member
    7 months ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    I'm convinced we enter a strange time warp after a certain age, where it seems to pass at a faster rate. Can't say I'm enjoying it much.

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    #15

    "What Fact Became Terrifying To You As An Adult, Which You Didn't Notice As A Child?" (30 Answers) How my mom treated me, and my entire childhood in general.

    WeirdConnections , Daria Obymaha Report

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    Karina
    Community Member
    7 months ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    How we in turn become grown ups that dont react to obvious issues.

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    #16

    "What Fact Became Terrifying To You As An Adult, Which You Didn't Notice As A Child?" (30 Answers) The ATM doesn’t just give you money.

    Aggravating-Fee-1615 , Timeo Buehrer Report

    #17

    "What Fact Became Terrifying To You As An Adult, Which You Didn't Notice As A Child?" (30 Answers) How easy it is to die young. Lost a few peers right out of high school in automotive accidents - no d***s involved, just 'freak accidents'. Its terrifying out here.

    voidybug , Pavel Danilyuk Report

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    Karina
    Community Member
    7 months ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    I have been to more funerals for (teens)from suicide, car crashes and murder than I have been to funerals for normal death in total. Being young is brutal.

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    #18

    As a kid, you always feel like there's a safety net: no matter what happens, someone will pull you out of trouble and take care of problems.

    When you hit your 20's and slowly realize that's not true, it's a bit panic inducing. People will literally allow you to collapse in the street and let you die if they see helping as too big of a hassle. You can become homeless, starve, get sick...and after a certain age there is nobody there to pull you out.

    Fritzo2162 Report

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    Ace
    Community Member
    7 months ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    You had a privileged upbringing then. I learnt that you could not rely on anyone else from around the age of 9 or so...

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    #19

    "What Fact Became Terrifying To You As An Adult, Which You Didn't Notice As A Child?" (30 Answers) That everything poses a risk of death or injury. Driving. Running down the stairs. Weather.

    Round_Trainer_7498 , Tobi Report

    #20

    Getting bullied and excluded for being weird was fine as a kid, I just ignored those kids or played along and told them I believed all kinds of insane things just to see if I could get them to believe I was crazy. Everyone told me when I was an adult it wouldn't matter. Then it turned out the meanest kid at your school is nothing compared to the person who makes the schedule at the average hourly wage job, and three of them equals one girl from HR. I don't really think people go into middle management for any reason than a desire to sadistically torture other people while wearing a big fake condescending smile.

    4URprogesterone Report

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    Janet L
    Community Member
    7 months ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Can anyone tell me one benefit of the HR system? Highly paid people who sit around and think of ways to make life difficult; hopeless in a crisis or professional dispute; take weeks to get the simplest tasks done. Maybe we should all work in HR. I met a very senior HR manager socially and she was the meanest b***h I’ve ever come across.

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    #21

    "What Fact Became Terrifying To You As An Adult, Which You Didn't Notice As A Child?" (30 Answers) Aging: I have severe back and shoulder joint problems.

    Illustrious-Host6853 , Karolina Grabowska Report

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    featherytoad
    Community Member
    7 months ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    When I hit 50, I became much more conscious of how my body is just going to start failing and will give me nothing but problems in the years to come. When you're younger and healthy, you just don't think about it.

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    #22

    That your parents don't know everything and were making up it as they went because now I have kids and I don't know s**t and am making it up as I go.

    thanoshasbighands Report

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    Michael Largey
    Community Member
    7 months ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    As a kid, the day I realized this about my parents was the funniest day of my childhood.

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    #23

    How a lot of money is really only a little money.

    QueerTree Report

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    #24

    As a kid, I didn’t realize you could seriously injure your back by simply sneezing.

    Capable-Ground8272 Report

    #25

    "What Fact Became Terrifying To You As An Adult, Which You Didn't Notice As A Child?" (30 Answers) Thunderstorms became scary once I owned a home near trees. Loved them as a kid.

    ServantofProcess , Pixabay Report

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    Shane S
    Community Member
    7 months ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Totally relate to this. We are required to have insurance but punished financially if we use it. How is that peace of mind?!

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    #26

    They give nearly everyone a car license. We all just trust that everyone else sort of knows what they are doing on the roads and won't plow into you and kill you.

    delayedconfusion Report

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    R.C.
    Community Member
    7 months ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    I always drive assuming everyone else on the road doesn't have a clue.

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    #27

    "What Fact Became Terrifying To You As An Adult, Which You Didn't Notice As A Child?" (30 Answers) Life expectancy.

    When you're a kid, everyone is old. I never thought much about the ages my grandparents were when they died. It's frightening to think about now as I get older.

    They were 59, 62, 65, and 69 when they passed.

    Gold_Cover2256 , Brett Sayles Report

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    Paul C.
    Community Member
    7 months ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    My Grandfather died at 59, my dad 58, his brothers,59 and 61. Me? Oh I'm 69. Worried about it? A bit, but hey p!ss off 👻 I'm not ready yet.

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    #28

    Just how cutthroat things tend to be in college and in the adult “at-will employment” world. I’m suspicious that this is a contributing factor to the mental health crisis.

    SwankySteel Report

    #29

    Very few of us leave this world fully intact. I had a horrific wisdom tooth removal just as covid hit. It was extremely deep rooted, and the dentist was kind of a butcher (I did NOT have insurance so the job went to the lowest bidder). Took about an hour for the extraction; he had to break it into several pieces, and had to go back in AFTER sewing me up because he left some behind.

    I do NOT do well with change, particularly changes to my body. It took me a few years to psychologically recover from the experience (a global pandemic and my overuse of cannabis at the time really didn't help any). I still have anxiety episodes every once in a while thinking about what part of me will fail or have to be removed next.

    Also, American healthcare is a joke and a scam. That's pretty damn terrifying.

    AndyM110 Report

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    Libstak
    Community Member
    7 months ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Yes, after age 50, I lost my uterus to cancer and then 2 years later I had a gall bladder infection the inflamed my liver, pancreas and kidneys, nearly went septic. I am wondering what else I will lose.

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    #30

    Adults don't know what they're doing either.

    mossadspydolphin Report

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    Patrick Linnen
    Community Member
    7 months ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    This is popular culture really. Most comedy Shows from early on capitalized on 'Adults not having a Clue'

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    #31

    "What Fact Became Terrifying To You As An Adult, Which You Didn't Notice As A Child?" (30 Answers) What to eat for diner. Especially with kids now, where i want them to have a balanced diet. We tend to stick around chicken and pasta.. I'm running low on imagination.

    CyrilleMiller , Juan Pablo Serrano Report

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    Rodney Bowie
    Community Member
    7 months ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Yes, loads of variety with vegetables and fruits and all that would be great. But don't hate on yourself too much over chicken and pasta. You're feeding your kids.

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    #32

    The fact that being in love at one point does not mean it will be forever.

    cunnyfunt65 Report

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    Tempest
    Community Member
    7 months ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    And how hard it is to recover from a heartbreak sometimes, especially if it’s your first ever relationship. No matter how toxic it was and how much you never want to go through it again, during your loneliest times in life those moments you spent with them resurface into your mind simply to just stab you all over again.

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    #33

    "What Fact Became Terrifying To You As An Adult, Which You Didn't Notice As A Child?" (30 Answers) Certainty doesn't really exist.

    Science gets things wrong.
    Doctors will be stumped and leave you hanging.
    No one knows the best way to do this task.
    People you thought you knew can betray you.

    Ultimately you're going to have to run on faith and good thoughts, cause you won't ever be sure of the path forward.

    me1112 , Chokniti Khongchum Report

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    Aileen Grist
    Community Member
    7 months ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    I spent many years (30 or so) being prodded and tested by doctors for different illnesses that they were 'sure' I had because of my symptoms. Once they decided I didn't have them I was told I had fibromyalgia - nothing we can do for that - and goodbye - signed off from the hospital and just get on with life.

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    #34

    Everything is really happening. As a kid, I dunno -- everything not in your backyard isn't really happening because you can't imagine it with the grainy, realness of experience. And now no one is coming to save you. People really do starve to death. People really do die. No reprise. No camera shots.

    EDIT: changed reprisal to reprise ; used the wrong word.

    thoughtful-rat1 Report

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    David
    Community Member
    7 months ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    traveling abroad can really open your eyes that not everyone has it the same as in your local neighborhood. I've seen some really sad stuff in person. I've also seen people who had it better than I ever will. But mostly I saw people who had it about the same or much worse. Depends on where you travel of course.

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    #35

    Everything involving adults. For example, as a kid I thought rollar coasters and bungie jumping, etc was the best thing ever and I knew the adults would never let anything bad happen to us.

    As an adult, I'm acutely aware of how little most adults use their brains (and care even less), thus putting my life in their hands is a much scarier prospect. Nearly anything that relies on the diligence of other adults gives me pause.

    PurkkOnTwitch Report

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    Ephemera Image
    Community Member
    7 months ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Too many adults rely on other adults to protect them, without taking any steps to protect themselves. Do whatever you want, but know the risks and don't expect other people to save you or look out for you. Life doesn't always go the way you expect.

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    #36

    Everyone is a human that makes mistakes, and some of those humans are in very important fields like healthcare and creation of safety devices, and it freaks me out so much that I haven’t died or been severely injured yet.

    aSwissMissKiss Report

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    Janet L
    Community Member
    7 months ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    The UK healthcare system seems dedicated to ploughing vast resources into the people who manage the ones doing the actual work, who are grossly understaffed and overworked, and are patted on the head by the people strolling around with clipboards on their way to another meeting.

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    #37

    When visiting a reserve in Montana as a preteen, Sunny the charming toothless vagrant thought it would be cool if i went through the bushes to the river to swim with him. my dad was like 'hell nah' and i was so mad at him for interfering.

    TiePsychological8861 Report

    #38

    As a kid, i thought taxes were just something adults complained about for fun. then i grew up and realized they're like a reverse lottery where you can never actually win. oh, and that whole "rent/mortgage is due every single month" thing hit me like a ton of bricks too.

    TechnicianRelative94 Report

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    #39

    This one is pretty specific to my life, but when I was a preteen, there was an industrial accident (preventable-many lawsuits) at my dad’s work that resulted in the deaths of dozens of workers. My dad was on his way to work that morning when it happened, and, due to the nature of his job, could have caused the accident himself.

    At the time, I knew it was really sad, but I was a kid and I moved on with my life. My dad was safe.

    30+ years later, even the thought of what happened is enough to set me off. What if my dad had gotten to work a bit earlier? My life would have been completely different. Not to mention the overwhelming sympathy I have for those who lost family members. It’s so tragic.

    Bay-Area-Tanners Report

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    #40

    When you think about that one guy who was really nice but a little strange as a kid and then as an adult you realize holy s**t he molested me.

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    #41

    "What Fact Became Terrifying To You As An Adult, Which You Didn't Notice As A Child?" (30 Answers) Snakes and how well they are hidden.

    I live in the south with lots of different venomous snakes and I used to just Trump through the woods and in creeks and not think a second thing about it.

    In my mid 20s I remember playing in the woods with my kids and dogs and jumping over this log when I suddenly smelled this foul odor, so I turned to see what it was.. turned around and there was 5ft rat snake on the side if the log where I landed. Rat snakes arent venomous, but emit a foul odor when they feel threatened, so that's what the smell was.
    It was enough to wake me up to the reality of snakes..

    Now my oldest son has a job that requires him to tromp through woods and creeks, so I send him social media videos of people finding snakes hiding, just so he knows and understands MY fear 😂.

    5thCap , Pixabay Report

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    #42

    "What Fact Became Terrifying To You As An Adult, Which You Didn't Notice As A Child?" (30 Answers) Something leaking. I just discovered one shower has been leaking and the damage to the over 100 year old hardwood floor could have been more disastrous than it was.

    YourMothersButtox , Nikita Belokhonov Report

    #43

    My parents and every adult from my childhood had no idea what they were doing. And neither do I 

    It’s all guessing .

    maybethisiswrong Report

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    #44

    How easy it is to die.

    It’s terrifying to see just how suddenly and unexpectedly things will just simply take you out.

    I can recall when I was in high school and junior high school, etc. I used to love movies like Transformers and war films and stuff like that. It didn’t really impact me when I saw somebody ripped in half or shredded by a machine or cut down by bullets in the middle of a field .

    But now, as an adult with some legs under me, I can’t even watch movies like that because all I can think about is the mass loss of human life that had no involvement in the original issues. (Looking at you, Transformers and Marvel).

    DunkingDognuts Report

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    Rob D
    Community Member
    7 months ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    It's not as profound, but I do think it's funny that the hero will kill 100 foot soldiers, then spare the villain to "avoid being like them". Lmao wut?

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    #45

    How many people die when you reach 30, and that includes childhood pets. 30 is supposed to be the time of the milestone where you lived 3 generations, but no, it’s the time where people around you die.

    LegitimateDebate5014 Report

    #46

    None. I was very terrified of my mortality as a child. .

    I_might_be_weasel Report

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    "Disembodied voice"
    Community Member
    7 months ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Same. I have a chronic condition since i was a kid and technically have died. The idea is less scary with time

    #47

    Once your parents die, you’re next.

    whatsamatterhorn Report

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    Nichole Harris
    Community Member
    7 months ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Not always.... My lil sister went first!!! Just last year! But dang it if I didn't make changes in my life after THAT! I'm paranoid about everything now

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    #48

    That we ll die someday, and there is nothing afterwards, never ending sleep, never ending unconsciousness.

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    #49

    What an ants face looks like.

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    #50

    That my parents were as much a pair of adults as Teletubbies back then.

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