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“Haven’t Talked For 3 Years”: 30 Times People Went From Best Friends To Strangers
Interview With Author
You’ve got a friend in me, you’ve got a friend in me! There are few things in life stronger than the bond of two best friends. Knowing that someone has your back no matter what and will always be there to make you smile, even on your very worst days, is a wonderful feeling.
But unfortunately, when one of your friendships is put to the test, you might be faced with the harsh realization that your BFF doesn't value your relationship as much as you do. Reddit users have recently been opening up about how their former best friends turned into strangers, so we’ve gathered some of their most painful stories below. If you can relate to these tales, know that you’re not alone, pandas. And remember that you deserve to have companions who will stick with you until the end!
This post may include affiliate links.
#1
He cheated on his fiancé. I told her what was going on. He never figured out how she found out. I cut him off. I figured if he can f**k over his fiancé, someone he’s supposed to love, what is keeping him from doing the same to me.
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#2
He committed a crime, pinned it on me, and I went to prison for it. It took some time to prove it was him, and I was immediately released and he is in prison now.
We were best friends for 13 years, so huge trust issues followed.
#3
I found out that not only did she know about my (ex) fiance cheating on me but was helping him hide it. Backstabbing c**t.
To find out how this conversation started in the first place, we reached out to Reddit user Salamander-One, who posed the question: "Why did you and your best friend stop talking?" She was kind enough to have a chat with Bored Panda and open up about some of her own friendships.
"I wasn't speaking with my best friend for weeks, which never happens. I was feeling very sad and lonely that day and was looking for people to relate to," the author shared. "I felt like I had no friends at all and was curious to hear stories that have made others feel the way I felt. Reading those responses made me feel so seen and so grateful for humanity. I began to realize that humans experience life the same way through different experiences. Unfortunately, loss is part of the human experience."
#5
Her dad SA’ed me one night when we were drinking (we were 16, he bought the alcohol for us) and she and her cousin saw it happen.
I didn’t speak about it until a school counselor called me into the office to discuss a sudden drop in my grades. I explained that this had happened and it’s really hard for me at school right now.
The counselor called police and made a report. Police came to my school the next day and pulled me out class, “interrogated” me for a few hours, and then brought in my friend. She denied knowing anything about it. I got a restraining order and never spoke to her again.
Until 3 years ago, at 29 we happened to be at the same house party. She asked to speak to me in the garage, and told me “I should have believed what I saw. He’s in jail for raping another girl”. I cried and was happy to hear her finally say those words (that she should have believed what she saw) but I still will never, ever have contact with her again.
#6
She stole over 10k of things from me over the years and used me for my situation at the time. I saw them all one day in her closet years years later. She never let me in her room btw. Now I know. Ended the friendship the next day.
Unfortunately, the OP knows all too well how it feels to lose a close friend. "My best friend and I just finished high school last month. To celebrate the last day of school, we were planning on watching the new movie Wicked in cinemas together for weeks," she shared. "We were both very excited about it, and we had everything planned out."
"As it got closer to the day we were supposed to watch the movie (about 2/3 days prior), she randomly bailed on me. I was confused because she did say that she had her money and transport ready, and she built hype around hanging out with me on the day (what would've been our first private hangout)," the author explained. "When I asked her why she bailed, she told me she'd rather join 6 of our other friends at the beach. Students from different schools were throwing a beach party to celebrate the last day of school, so it was going to be packed."
#7
I grew up.
He didn't.
He's a flat earther, born again, and fixated on people and memories from high school when we graduated like 20 years ago. "Hey remember when Mikey from 3rd period dropped his pencil and he farted when he grabbed it?" "Hey remember when that one hot girl from geology whose name i cant remember asked me for a listerine strip? Yea she was into me."
Just slowly became a bummer to hang out with and had to cut ties.
#8
He's just angry all the time.
Everyone else is at fault, and it's never his fault.
He's stupidly deep into the Trump/MAGA movement.
I just can't with him anymore.
#9
I started dating someone and she texted me that she wanted to focus only on “friendships with single women who aren’t involved with boys and are also working towards their career goals and financial independence.” I also wasn’t the first friend she had dropped for having a boyfriend. I didn’t respond until she texted months later apologizing. I brushed it off and said I was respecting her boundaries and never spoke to her again. It’s been 5 years since.
"I'd been waiting impatiently for the movie to release for over 2 years, and she knew this. I was upset that she couldn't compromise for me and that I was going to have to watch the movie alone after all the plans we had for a day that was probably our last day together," Salamander-One continued. "After all, we might go our separate ways in university."
"I respected her decision to go to the beach party, but I was obviously hurt, so I stopped texting her for a few days. We ended up in this awkward position where we don't know how to go back to normal, and to this day, we don't talk," the author says. "Even on the last day at school, we were very avoidant of each other. She used to hug me everyday when she went home, and for the first time that day, on our last day together, she didn't. I wouldn't say I ended the friendship, but this definitely made it fall apart. This was what inspired me to [start this thread]."
#10
We were both born as Jehovahs Witnesses. He’s still in, I’m not. He’s not allowed to talk to me.
#11
She started posting extremely antisemitic things on her social media when the Israel-Palestine war began. She was sharing posts calling for retaliation against all Jewish people.
I'm Jewish. She knew that. When I asked her why she was sharing that kind of stuff, she doubled down.
Clown fish 19 hours ago (edited)
I stopped talking to a friend when they came out with I quote "all these f#cking gypsies turning up they will be nicking stuff" I'm from a gypsy family and when I pointed that out she shrugged and said yeah but you're different!
#12
She ditched me in a foreign country to go hang out with people she'd just met.
Yup.
As far as why it's so painful to lose a close friend, the author says, "Losing a best friend is like losing a core part of your life, especially since you've shared so many special moments with them. You get so used to being around each other that you become more alike than you realize. Your best friend is the person you turn to to laugh, to cry, and to find support. They become family, and you have the comfort to be yourself around them without the fear of judgement."
"Finding friends where you give 100% of yourselves to each other nowadays is rare, and those are the friendships I treasure the most. Losing that love and acceptance is devastating. Losing a person you love in any way is a heart-wrenching feeling, and it is very difficult to move on from what was once a big part of your life," she added.
#13
She invited a friend I had introduced her to to her wedding but didn’t invite me. That hurt.
Glen Ellyn 19 hours ago
It's extremely painful when you find out your friends is not who you think they are. So sorry this happened to you.
#14
He stopped responding, which he does every once in a while, just won’t respond. Instead of reaching out after a few months in which we would be best friends again and text and game when we could, I just let it slip. He reached out like after 6 months and apologized, I forgave immediately and then went back to ignoring. If sucks but I've stopped investing into people who won’t invest into me.
#15
She asked me to help her fake a vaccine card to keep her job (at a nail salon) because she didn’t wanna take it. I said no. She stopped texting.
Glen Ellyn 18 hours ago
I wouldn't have faked a card either. There are just too many people who will lie and cheat to get what they want. Whatever happened to honestly and integrity?
We also asked the author what she thought of the replies to her post. "I felt a heartwarming gratitude seeing so many people reply and share their stories. I started feeling emotional because I realized that I wasn't as alone as I thought I was," she shared.
"There were so many people who felt like me, still processing losing a best friend, and I connected to those stories the most. Feeling that connection with people's life experiences pulled me out of my sadness because connection was what I needed most in that moment," the OP continued. "Kind strangers reached out to me to share words of advice and encouragement. I tried reading all of the stories and replied to as many as I possibly could. I was honored to be briefly let in on so many people's experiences with friendship."
#16
I realized she only included me when she needed something. I finally got up the courage to tell them "no" when they wanted me to cook for their dinner party. She wanted me to buy all the food, prep, cook, and clean after. I haven't heard from her since.
SnackbarKaat 15 hours ago
Had a 'friend' who only contacted me when she f****d up and needed someone to talk with. Made Fun of me behind my back too.
#17
He got a job making 6 figures and became materialistic while ridiculing Union workers (like me) and he phased me out of his social life now that he’s got rich friends.
#18
His dumb, married a*s tried to sleep with my ex less than 48 hours after we’d broken up… And now, two years later, he’s sitting in prison for 20-ish years after sending an undercover FBI agent some sick pics/vids.
Serves the f****r right.
"There were some emotional stories, such as the best friend passing away and not having the chance to say goodbye. There were some extreme stories, such as the best friend committing serious crimes or going down a dark path of drug addiction," the author continued. "There were somber moments as well, where the friendship just naturally faded, where the two friends have different directions in life. Each story stood out to me as I read through them because they touched on different key aspects of friendship that people tend to neglect, such as empathy, support, and a listening ear."
#19
Well, I’m glad you asked….
She didn’t ask me to be a bridesmaid at her wedding, I had known her for 25 years and she asked girls she had known for only a few months.
Accordingly, I didn’t ask her to be involved in my wedding. I had my two sisters, whom I had actually known for longer than her. Didn’t stop her from making a spectacle at the wedding, which was on a very hot day. She pulled out the front of my dress and dumped an entire box of confetti down there. I was a bit sweaty, my dress got stained in red, pink, blue and green spots for the photos. Thanks friend.
She didn’t acknowledge the birth of my first child. To be fair, I did learn later that she had suffered a number of miscarriages that year but still…
We would invite her and her husband over for cosy little dinner parties and put a lot of effort into them. Candles and fancy food and nice wines. When she reciprocated the invitation, we would always arrive to find she had also asked three or four other couples and would not bother cooking, we’d get pizza.
She never got in contact with me, it was always me calling her.
She didn’t call me to tell me that she was finally pregnant, didn’t tell me when she’d had the baby. I always found out through other people.
None of these things seemed like big deals at the time but added up, it caused a lot of pain and tears from my end. Why didn’t she like me?
I got the hint. She didn’t want to be friends anymore. Okay.
I removed her from all my socials and accepted that she had moved on, so although I didn’t understand why, I shrugged and moved on too.
Now years later, she goes around telling everyone she doesn’t understand what she did so wrong as to cause me to give her the cold shoulder and block her. I haven’t blocked her, she simply has not re-requested to follow me. That doesn’t suit her “poor me” narrative though, does it?
She’s a drama queen, always wants to be the centre of attention and needs to be bolstered up by a crowd of adoring people all around her. I’m simply not interested in being a shoulder for her to step on as she climbs her way to the top. She’s got plenty of those already.
Sorry, that was long. It’s obviously a touchy subject.
Dusty's mom 21 hours ago
They'll all come to the point where they understand your stance on the situation. They just haven't been used enough yet. Count it a win and move in a new circle.
#20
He went down the MAGA rabbit hole. I don't need that BS in my life. Maybe someday he'll come around.
#21
Posted my pregnancy announcement before my family and friends were aware. We hadn’t even gotten our NIPT results back (I was high risk). When confronted she informed me it wasn’t a big deal and it’s not like anyone on her friends list knew me. You could hear us saying in the video to not post anything online yet since we wanted to surprise family. Multiple times. Lies about deleting it as well. My husband confronted her and she shrugged and again refused to accept responsibility/accountability. I knew then I couldn’t trust her around my kid.
Finally, Salamander-One shared some kind words for anyone who has experienced loss or isolation: "You are not alone in that. It is difficult to navigate through that feeling, and healing through it takes time. Do not let past experiences prevent you from creating special ones with new people. Open your heart to learning and loving through experience. You have people who love and care for you, and you will find more people in life who will reciprocate the love you give to them. This is just a small chapter of the life experience, and there are so many chapters ahead. It takes a little bit of time."
#22
1. Because I paid her husband's auto shop to replace my radiator, and the techs failed to put fluids back in my car. New radiator exploded, far from home and even further from the auto shop. They refused to fix the problems, so I complained to the corporate office and husband got in trouble and lost bonuses. So bestie was not allowed to speak to me anymore.
2. Other bestie's boyfriend wanted to advertise his tree services in my yard. I was ok with it, but the landscaping company my landlord paid was not, and they removed the sign without telling me. I was accused of sabotaging the boyfriend's business.
Glad to be free of the drama.
Jessica SpeLangm 11 hours ago
As far as the 2nd one is concerned, if you don't own the property, then you can't allow just any business to advertise. So, you should have asked the landlord before saying yes regarding this situation.
#23
She started dating a guy (43) who was non-monogamous on his end (but monogamous on her end - she reassured me it worked). Turns out he had been messaging a 16 year old girl for the last year and intended to have her move in with him the day she turned 18. She found nothing wrong with it, also stating that when she “gets her bearings” with the new move, she also intends to make her move on her (sexually) with him. When she told me about it the girl was just two weeks shy of 18 and “what is the difference between her body two weeks away from 18 and after 18” um…. The law? That’s the last time I spoke to her.
You never really know who people are.
#24
As far as I know, he wasn't allowed to talk to me for being atheist. He's from a very religious family, but that was never a problem, I lived in the same neighborhood and spent a lot of time at his place, and was fairly close with his religious parents, they were wonderful people. We naturally grew apart during/after college, but would catch up whenever I was in town. He married a born-again (next level religion obsessed), and I even attended their wedding. I saw him a couple times after, but eventually there was no contact at all, and I was also dropped on Facebook. Rumor is she didn't want him around me because I'm not a believer, which makes me a bad influence. I guess being the voice of reason when he tried to start drunken bar fights was problematic.
#25
I grew tired of being taken advantage of and taken for granted. Without ever getting a "thank you" for everything I did for them. We were best friends for 17 years. I ended that friendship, I deleted their number, deleted them off my social media accounts. A weight was lifted off my shoulders when I ended that friendship. We haven't talked for 3 years, and will continue to do so. What they do, is none of my concern anymore, nor has it been.
#26
She told her son (he and my daughter are the same age) that my daughter looked like a wh*re in her homecoming dress. He told my daughter she said that. I asked her through text if it was true and she left me on read. I never talked to her again. Several years later she started working where i was already working and tried to buddy up to me in her new hire training and I completely ignored her.
Kit Black 12 hours ago
Had a similar situation - daughter's best friend was always the type to want to act older than her age and was allowed to do things that my daughter wasn't allowed to do - but we got along ok. The other kiddo was on b.c. for really bad acne, and my friend told me that she was having it stopped shortly after the little girl turned 12 ~ because she might think it meant it was ok to be sexually active~. I pointed out that if she genuinely thought her child was going to try to be sexually active that young, she should talk to her about it more and leave her on the b.c. Guess who the kid told first when she got pregnant at 14... I had to convince her to tell her mother - mom forced an abortion the kid resented for *years*. She later started telling people *my daughter* was a bad influence - behind my back - then acted shocked as hell when I cut off all contact with her.
#27
I gotta be honest, I don’t know the answer and it’s been haunting me for years. She cut off contact with me back in 2022 and suddenly disappeared off the face of the earth—not just me, literally everyone who knew her in our friend group and even her acquaintances in the city, it’s something we talk about about time to time.
The only reason I’m assured she’s alive and well is because our families still talk, her mom has given a few updates but largely keeps it hush hush too. She’s active on social media and kept all the picture of us tgt, plus her profile picture is still one I took of her many years ago. I don’t understand what happened and it’s messed me up pretty bad, this girl was my whole world and losing her was really hard. I tried getting back in touch but she won’t respond, since I’m extremely non-confrontational I’ve given up. Probably the biggest mystery of my life and I’d do anything to know why.
#28
I noticed that, especially when we're around other people, she undermines my intelligence at every opportunity. I realized after 4 years of what seemed like a close, wholesome friendship that she was using me as an accessory to make herself look and feel smarter. I would've taken the pain of a truck running me over than having experienced that epiphany.
I still haven't really let go of the person I thought she was and I miss it so, so much. But over the course of those 4 years I had come to fully accept that I was a bumbling idiot, and somehow it took me this long to realize she was the cause.
Dusty's mom 21 hours ago
You're still internalizing her gaslighting, No, you're not a "bumbling idiot". She still has her claws in your psyche.
#30
We used to be inseparable and losing that connection to her is the one thing I've regretted in my life.
We came from very different backgrounds and were in very different situations so I just didn't think she would understand what I was going through. I was dealing with really bad depression that led me to isolate myself from my friendships more and more every time, so I slowly stopped reaching out to her, and the more time passed without talking the harder it was for me to reach out to her again for fear of her being mad at me.
At this point I haven't talked to her in about 5 years, but I heard from an old mutual friend that she had gotten engaged and seemed to be thriving, so I'm really glad for her, I wish her nothing but the best in life even if I can't tell her directly.
What do you think ?
Diolla 12 hours ago
When I was a student me and my BFF did almost everything together. Study, eat, go out, etc.. Then she got into an abusive relationship. BOTH sides, they fought a lot (physically as well), would break up, reconcile, etc.. Lots of drama, I even hid her from him sometimes. I am very level headed and hate violence, did not like her BF AT ALL and she knew it. But hey, her choice, if this is her choice, so be it. Eventually they broke up and she kept harassing and teasing him. One night she went too far. I kept telling her to stop it but no. He attacked her and started beating her up. I intervened, he was about 50 cm taller than she was, so not a fair fight. Then he turned on me and started beating ME up. She did not get hurt, I did. She just stood there. OK, maybe shock. In the next few days I did not hear from her. Eventually went to see her. And she said: 'why did he beat YOU up, are you together behind my back?' Ended our friendship right then and there.
Beak Hookage 18 hours ago
I don't know if we were "best" friends but I cut him off because he kept trying to get into my pants despite being repeatedly told no.
Susical 14 hours ago
Omg, I know right! As a straight/cis woman, I've almost given up on friendships with straight men because of this. It's flattering to be asked once. ONCE. Then dude, respect boundaries.
Load More Replies... V 13 hours ago
I got sick of the pain Olympics. Both our kids were going through health issues, admittedly her kids problems were more severe than our kids, but after being a shoulder to cry on for her for months while her kid was getting all the diagnoses and treatment plans sorted just a little bit of solidarity would have been nice. But everytime I mentioned our kids health problems I just got met with something like "they'll be fine" or "there's nothing wrong with your kid" or "but my kid has that but worse".
Diolla 12 hours ago
When I was a student me and my BFF did almost everything together. Study, eat, go out, etc.. Then she got into an abusive relationship. BOTH sides, they fought a lot (physically as well), would break up, reconcile, etc.. Lots of drama, I even hid her from him sometimes. I am very level headed and hate violence, did not like her BF AT ALL and she knew it. But hey, her choice, if this is her choice, so be it. Eventually they broke up and she kept harassing and teasing him. One night she went too far. I kept telling her to stop it but no. He attacked her and started beating her up. I intervened, he was about 50 cm taller than she was, so not a fair fight. Then he turned on me and started beating ME up. She did not get hurt, I did. She just stood there. OK, maybe shock. In the next few days I did not hear from her. Eventually went to see her. And she said: 'why did he beat YOU up, are you together behind my back?' Ended our friendship right then and there.
Beak Hookage 18 hours ago
I don't know if we were "best" friends but I cut him off because he kept trying to get into my pants despite being repeatedly told no.
Susical 14 hours ago
Omg, I know right! As a straight/cis woman, I've almost given up on friendships with straight men because of this. It's flattering to be asked once. ONCE. Then dude, respect boundaries.
Load More Replies... V 13 hours ago
I got sick of the pain Olympics. Both our kids were going through health issues, admittedly her kids problems were more severe than our kids, but after being a shoulder to cry on for her for months while her kid was getting all the diagnoses and treatment plans sorted just a little bit of solidarity would have been nice. But everytime I mentioned our kids health problems I just got met with something like "they'll be fine" or "there's nothing wrong with your kid" or "but my kid has that but worse".
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