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However close we are to our loved ones, some things we still keep only to ourselves. Dr. Michael Slepian, an expert on the psychology of secrets, says that keeping secrets is a universal thing – we all do it. We keep secrets about ourselves and about the people we know, and it's all about what it means to live in a community.
But secrets also come with a lot of anxiety and isolation. Confessing, even if anonymously, can give the keeper a great deal of relief. That's why these two threads got as many comments as they did – people were rushing to share their burdens with strangers. Folks had some disturbing secrets they wanted to get off their chests, and others confessed what they would never tell their significant other. Curious to know what secrets they were? Scroll down and see for yourself!
Bored Panda reached out to one of the Redditors who posed this question about secrets on the Ask Reddit community. Check out our short conversation with the user u/Waltef_j below!
This post may include affiliate links.
#1
My husband passed away a few years ago. I tell everyone how much I loved him and only talk about the good times we had and how great he was. In honesty I hated him for every bit of the 33 years we were together. He was so mean to me, both physicaly and mentally-every single day. He hid it well and in front of anyone he was okay to me but when we were alone he was terrible. I hated him so much I live alone now and am just finding myself. I moved to a different state and have made new friends and everyone seems to really like me and I even like myself now too. It's been really hard to tell myself that I am okay. I have never said any of this out loud. I feel bad that I am happy he is gone.
Mela (qu33nwh0) 8 months ago
Sometimes it's hard to see how bad it really is while we're in the thick of it. You're gonna have an amazing adventure finding who you are 💗
The author of this thread, u/Waltef_j, kindly agreed to answer a few of our questions. We were curious how the idea of this particular question came to the Redditor. "I was laying in my bed and was bored as always."
"So I thought about [something] which would entertain me. Scrolling through Reddit I landed on the r/AskReddit sub and wondered what question could let people tell some interesting stories." So they landed on the one about secrets.
RELATED:
#2
I’m terrified of going into work….not work itself, I’m a hard worker, but I despise sitting in an office full of people I barely know, constantly being ‘on’, being evaluated in person, and pretending I enjoy not being warm and safe in my cozy home.
For some of us the pandemic was a blessing.
Lavendar rose 8 months ago
I miss the pandemic. The only negative was that my son needed to be out and about and got anxiety. But, if not for him, I’d welcome another shutdown.
#3
My ex-husband told me one time that he didn’t think it was wrong for a father to be sexually intimate with his daughter, as long as she was “old enough.” No one will ever know why we truly divorced, because I don’t think anyone would believe me. He started talking about children. I’d never let my daughter be his.
"I was very surprised by the reactions," the Redditor tells us. "I never thought it would get that big. It's really shocking to read what some people have/had to deal with in their life." However, the user also feels happy that they could provide a place for people to get their secrets off their chest.
#4
A few years ago one of our cats died after we had her for 14 years. We were all heartbroken and devastated by her loss. We noticed something was wrong on Thursday, took her to the vet on Friday, and she died late Sunday night.
The night she died, I sent everyone to bed and I stayed up with her. She kept getting into the bathtub and lying down as opposed to a bed we had set up for her.
Just before she died, she let out a horrible scream and went into convulsions. Then she just stopped breathing.
I never told my spouse or kids about that last few moments. I just told them she just slipped away. I still want to cry every time I think about it. I will never tell them about that.
#5
I can login to the jukebox at my local bar from my apartment. I often login from home and require it to play “what does the fox say” on repeat.
#6
A few years ago I used to work at Home Depot at the returns desk. It was mostly very elderly people who worked alongside me in our store. I was the youngest in the team.
We had a lady, Margaret, who had issues with bowel control due to her medications. She used to fart without even realizing she's farting. Usually loud but harmless ones even when she was having a normal conversation. So we got so used to her doing that, even though it was awkward in the beginning.
One day we were having a team huddle and it started to smell like fresh manure..such a strong stench..and then one more with different flavor this time. The manager dismissed the team huddle...and one of the team members murmured "My God, Margaret, what was that!!"
It was me. I did that Margaret, I'm sorry.
"I saw that some were happy that this thread existed because it gave them a place to share their problems or traumas anonymously," they said. "And also [there] were some Redditors who offered help."
"So it wasn't only a place where people shared their secrets, but also could get help or feel [relieved] by telling others about it," the Redditor added. "It shows that a lot of people [want] a safe space where they don't get judged for their secrets."
#7
All day, every day, relapsing is all I can think about. I’ve been clean for 3 1/2 months but oh boy is it difficult. I crave the relapse. The ONLY reason I haven’t is because it would hurt my boyfriend to see me relapse.
Mela (qu33nwh0) 8 months ago
You've got this. You're stronger than you know, trust me, I know 💗
#8
I walk around the house and monologue. Like, a lot.
#9
I have a good friend who is a very shy pooper. Like, we’ve been on trips together and he won’t s**t for days, he says he just can’t relax and go because he’s in public. But one time in college, about six years ago, he was super drunk and fell asleep s******g on my toilet. And the s**t got all over my toilet, not sure how but most of it did not go in the bowl. I got him up, cleaned him and the toilet up, and put him to bed. He was blackout drunk and doesn’t remember it at all. I don’t have the heart to tell him. He’d be mortified. It wouldn’t do anyone any good. But when he’s shy about pooping around me, I can’t help but chuckle at the irony.
#10
People in my personal life who find out I'm a professional domme, instantly feel free about telling me their darkest secrets.
I know who's secretly gay, I know who's on steroids, I know who's kinky, I know who has erectile dysfunction, I know both men & women who were brutally sa'd as children, I even know someone who's k****d a guy (he wasn't boasting or bragging, he seemed really shook up about it. I might be the only one he's told)
So, my most disturbing secret is that I'm a trauma-sponge for absorbing everyone else's disturbing secrets.
Katie Lutesinger 8 months ago
Oh my god you kissed a guy?! Horrifying! (Yes, I know. That's the joke).
Ace 8 months ago
TBH that's exactly how I read it too, given the context.
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Insomniac 8 months ago
Because so much of what they do is psychological, I've often thought that it should be a health care profession, and clinical therapy programs should offer courses specifically geared toward treating trauma through Dominance. Get rid of the stigma and let it be a normalized way of seeking treatment for those it can help.
Cold Eagle 8 months ago
I have to agree, it's widely helpful with certain situations and traumas, as well as often attractive to those on the spectrum due to the set rules etc. Those same elements easily cross into treatment once again.
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Guigsy Gwiggins 8 months ago
All this fluxing censorship is ridiculous. We all know what the words are just print them. And if we don’t, we try figure them out and discuss it. What is the point
Laura Parker 7 months ago
Exactly!! I’m so sick of it! Saying someone was ‘unalived’ instead of killed or murdered is childish and ignorant. It also doesn’t make the victim any less dead!!
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Angelshark 8 months ago
I hope the OP has a good therapist. People trauma dumping on you can be it's own form of trauma.
Laura Parker 7 months ago
The most ignorant term I’ve ever heard! I’d better not see it added to the next edition of Webster’s dictionary either!
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Georgia Ireland 8 months ago
Me too, but it's because I'm a Listener. Many times in my life, people have come up to me and started spilling the beans about anything and everything. I feel for you. Good luck and blessed be.
pelemele 8 months ago
Same, sometimes people I don't know at all and who I'll never see again start to tell me about their lives when I haven't asked. I just listen calmly and greet them when they're done. It's quite strange.
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Riley Quinn 8 months ago
I've known plenty of sex workers, and it's not at all unusual for their clients and friends to treat them like a therapist or a confessional box. People trust sex workers to keep secrets.
Rachknits 8 months ago (edited)
Same when people hear I'm a therapist and you'd be surprised (or maybe not) how many people have done things far far worse than you can ever imagine
Binny Tutera 8 months ago
I used to be a hair stylist. You wouldn’t believe what people told me!
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Matthew Rasanen 8 months ago
I haven't had as extensive experience as you, but I was told by a 66 year old friend (from another state) about how his older brother started slipping into his bed when he was prepubescent, and began years and years of sexual activity, which he, somehow, thought was normal. When I told him that it was incestuous rape, he said, "But that's what families do - bring you into the world of your sexuality." He still thought that at 66! He doesn't call me anymore.
Laura Williams 8 months ago
As long as you're okay and it's not harming you I think you're good. If not see a Therapist.
Ovata Acronicta 8 months ago
Interesting. When people find out what I do it's either horror or...married men trying to hit on me. I have been making things for over a decade, talking about it is talking shop, not arousing. Being surrounded by said things is not arousing, nor any indication that I'm DTF. Actually just lost a friendship of 17 years, in part related to this. That one hurts a lot, and was the topic of my psych visit today.
PeepPeep the duck 8 months ago (edited)
Me toooo but I’ve come to love it, I’m not a dom though, just one of those people. Even strangers are comfy telling me things they probably shouldn’t
Ashlie Dearest 8 months ago
You'd make for a great friend, because of your trust-worthy nature.
Kevin the Manager 8 months ago
Must have something to do with the societal view of individuals in your field. I have a feeling that the mental track runs something like, "Well, s3x workers see it all and manage to keep their mouths shut, so my secrets MUST be safe with her!"
#11
I accidentally stepped barefoot into a boiling, maggot-infested raccoon corpse. It got stuck on my foot like a slipper and I tried to shake it off, something popped and got a spray of blood and s**t all over me. Then I puked on myself and stumbled home.
#12
I’m an alcoholic. no one is aware of how bad it’s gotten but i’m drinking to almost blackout daily and going to work ill every single day. i still do my job fine but the second i’m off it’s all i want to do and i can’t stop myself anymore. it’s been like this for almost 2 years now
what i’m doing to myself while acting completely fine to everyone disturbs me but i’m really struggling to get myself help :/.
#13
During my worst periods of dealing with bulimia, if I had no food on hand to binge and purge, I would steal lunches from people at work or pick things out of the trash. I was never caught.
The shame, guilt, and disgust with myself was always there, but it took intensive counseling, medication, and working with a specialist on other issues to help me to stop.
#14
My family think I finished the computer science degree, but I dropped out. However I've been working in the sector for about 25 years in a row without any trouble and people (employers and colleagues) seem to think that I'm quite competent. It's not disturbing per se but for my parents it was a big deal that I finished my studies. My dad passed away three years ago without knowing. My mom is 83 and she is still proud of me and I hope things stay the same till she dies.
Phoebe Bean 8 months ago
If the person is successful in the chosen career path, everything is fine. Parents were happy, so mission accomplished.
#15
When we first met he made me promise “if I ever gain too much weight you have to tell me to hit the gym.” We laughed about it but that was almost 5 years ago, and now he has gotten pretty overweight and I don’t know if I’m supposed to keep my promise or just let him choose his own path with his weight. I’m still attracted to him and love him more than ever, but I want him to be healthy…
#16
I never had a gf but told everyone I did have one and that she broke up with me. I was so good at lying about it that I myself believed my lie and somehow I felt really sad and depressed. Than I even remembered memories I never had and afterwards I was like wtf am I doing.
#17
As a teen, I caught my parents' house on fire playing with pyrotechnics in the garage and then staged it to look like an electrical fire so i wouldn't get in trouble.
I was regarded as the hero who put the fire out before it consumed the house (I was home alone at the time), but really, I was the cause.
They had all of the electrical redone in the house as a precaution against another fire... I never came clean.
censorshipsucks 8 months ago
did you learn to not f**k around with pyrotechnics as a result, or did you learn how to f**k around with them without causing harm? If so, lesson learnt, no harm done.
#18
My best friend is actually his uncle's kid. Apparently he confessed to it on his death bed. The mum won't admit anything and he can't talk to anyone else in the fam about it.
#19
I have a serious skin picking problem. I can just sit for hours straight in front of a mirror and inspect every pore on my face/chest/hands. It's gotten so bad that i have little scars all over my face. But i literally cant stop doing it.
#20
That I haven’t been happy since he asked me for divorce a couple of years ago…. I was ready to follow through and last minute he backtracked, but he never said he was sorry, and I haven’t been able to fully come back from that…. I don’t think I love him the same since
#21
I used to not eat and basically starve myself to feel hungry, just to feel.. something, and I had control over that aspect.
Tough home life with being groomed by mom and s**t. No contact for a couple years, and never had any sort of connection or love or emotions for family, it's still hard to feel anything but I have an amazing fiance.
100% classic narcissism abuse.
#22
Not a single person I've met in the last 10 years knows anything true about me. Not my name, not my profession, not my family life, not where I'm from etc. I've created an entirely fake person, and that's who I am to everyone that I meet now. Even my girlfriend.
Did I say that out loud? (he/him)cis/het 8 months ago
They've missed out the most important and interesting part. Why?
#23
My friend’s younger brother took a dump in the litter box as a teen “to see what it was like”. Their mom, an RN, saw it and declared “there is a human SH*T in the litter box!” Whenever anyone brings up anything litter box-related, I think of this.
#24
I hid the remote control to the living room TV for absolutely no reason at all, and kept it hidden for probably a week. My dad began to have a meltdown by the 6th-7th day, so I just put it under a random blanket on the couch where I knew he would find it. What a weird kid I was.
#25
I once felt overwhelmed with the compulsion to run through a farmer's wheatfield, I felt very naughty.
mandy the capibara 8 months ago
Hahaha, I see what so did there. How is the dancing progressing, theresa?
#26
I'm often emotionless but i'm hiding it through jokes and acts.
#27
I had a sexual relationship with someone for months, not knowing he have a wife and a newborn baby. We're in our early 20s, I asked him if he has a girlfriend, and he said no, which was technically true because he actually has a wife.
Tabitha 8 months ago
You were lied to, and had no reason to doubt the other person’s honesty at the time, so it’s not your fault. You went into the relationship honestly. The lying SOB you were with did not. As long as you broke it off the millisecond you found out the truth, your conscience should be clear.
#28
That his mother is an exhausting gossiping windmill of geriatric nonsense.
#29
Before my dad died, he told me about my mother’s affairs. One with his childhood best friend. I’ll never tell anyone else.
#30
My husband and I look so happy on social media but in reality we argue every day and our marriage is falling apart.
Did I say that out loud? (he/him)cis/het 8 months ago
Isn't that lots of couples with a "perfect " life on social media, though? I always take it with a pinch of salt.
#31
Sometimes I make loud farting noises late at night to see if I can wake up the whole house. I consider it a victory when I’m asked if I’m feeling ok the next morning. .
#32
One time I had to go number 2 so bad but our bathroom was occupied. So I went outside and the dog immediately gobbled it up.
#33
I brushed my sister‘s toothbrush over a soap bar when we were little because I thought that’s what she did too. sometimes my toothbrush tasted a little soapy. Never talked about it with anyone. First time writing it down.
#34
I tell people I can get them exotic meats...hippo steaks, giraffe burgers.
It's all goat.
lenka 8 months ago
You are an AH. Not because you lie to people about what kind of meat it is, but because you are condoning the demand for these animals. If they think they are getting it from you, they will also try to get it from other even less scrupulous people who will pay poachers for the real deal.
#35
I want to see a large plane crash in person.
I don't hope for it to happen, I just want to see it if it happens to occur.
What do you think ?
Sedona 8 months ago
I wish people on BP would understand that content like this is mostly taken from reddit so writing OP heartfelt comments does nothing.
mandy the capibara 8 months ago
I'm quite sure they know. People just want to share feelings, even if they know the poster probably doesn't read it. it's a sign of empathy. Why does ot bother you that much?
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Meep-Meep 8 months ago
Yeah for me it gives the first 10-ish words then cuts off
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Ranger Kanootsen 8 months ago
My secret is that I have been alone for so many years that now, since I have a boyfriend, I don't know what to do. I am FREAKING OUT and I am scared that if I share my awful memories that he'll realise I'm just a pathetic kicked puppy.
UpupaEpops 8 months ago
You are absolutely not. I can't give much advice on how to talk about a traumatic past with a partner as I haven't dated 2017. Due to how abusive that relationship was. I just can't bring myself to open up to anyone. But I don't think either of us are pathetic for it. And kicked puppies can turn into the coolest dogs too. Maybe don't tell him everything at once, but giving bits of information here and there will help him understand you better.
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Ada Hunter 8 months ago
i have too many of these. my main one is i’ve never told anyone how long my mental health has been bad. i wanted to not be alive since i was like 5 or 6. my whole childhood, before i got diagnosed with depression, my main thought was i wanted to unalive to see if anyone would actually care. i had a hard childhood but not because of my family or my environment, but because of myself.
Luna Ulla Cieslak 8 months ago
I don't know you, Ada Hunter, but I hear you and I care about you! I am happy that you are here and reaching out! You are loved, Ada!
Load More Replies... bbfa 8 months ago (edited)
My secret is that I am a woman who had to train herself to like babies. They are smelly, loud, destroy your freedom and I couldn't imagine wiping someone's sh*t. But, for years I have coerced myself to feel empathetic feelings when I see or hold one. Now I adore seeing and cuddling them. You can learn empathy and love, it's possible. I still won't change diapers though, and am glad I am child free. I enjoy my nephews and give them back..
John Dilligaf 8 months ago
I got a good job that required me to relocate half the country away from my extended family. I quit that job, but haven't told anyone in my family because they'd immediately expect me to move "back home".
John Harrison 8 months ago (edited)
My Disturbing Secret That I Wouldn't Even Tell My Partner is that I pronounce "GIF" with a soft "G".
Seonag Udell 8 months ago
When memes first came out I thought they were pronounced me me's, I still get the micky taken out of me by the only two people who know, my husband and little sister. I was in my early 30s by the way.
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brittany 8 months ago
i lived with my best friend after college. i went to do my laundry after work. she told me she would be working late and said if my sheets werent done by bed time i could just nap in her bed till they dried. i took her up on the offer and felt something scratch against my leg. i found a dead flattened withered mouse in her bed. there was a very defined stain in her sheets from where it had been laying there for who knows how long. we usually did our own laundry so id never actually seen her do her sheets. now im wondering if she EVER did them. i disposed of the critter and never ever told her. and no we did not have a cat so it definitely wasnt a 'gift' from a beloved pet
brittany 8 months ago
also yes i washed her sheets and scrubbed the bedding down
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Esme J. 8 months ago
There’s a malicious woman that reads bored panda. She has said nasty things to my two nieces and nephew and has harassed other children in their building and block. Shes is racist against Asians and Black People. Shes bitterly single, and has been unemployed for over a year. She dresses terrible and has pathetic taste in music.
Annabel Again 8 months ago
Every single one of the posts in this article cuts off after about the first sentence it is so maddening I don't know what is happening has happened, or will happen to any of these people! BP, please fix it!!!
Veronica Monell 8 months ago
This page isn't loading for me... #1 days function in parentheses but nothing else lol
Steve Hall 8 months ago
I noticed that the farther down this list you read the fewer points the posts have.
Sedona 8 months ago
I wish people on BP would understand that content like this is mostly taken from reddit so writing OP heartfelt comments does nothing.
mandy the capibara 8 months ago
I'm quite sure they know. People just want to share feelings, even if they know the poster probably doesn't read it. it's a sign of empathy. Why does ot bother you that much?
Load More Replies... Meep-Meep 8 months ago
Yeah for me it gives the first 10-ish words then cuts off
Load More Replies... Ranger Kanootsen 8 months ago
My secret is that I have been alone for so many years that now, since I have a boyfriend, I don't know what to do. I am FREAKING OUT and I am scared that if I share my awful memories that he'll realise I'm just a pathetic kicked puppy.
UpupaEpops 8 months ago
You are absolutely not. I can't give much advice on how to talk about a traumatic past with a partner as I haven't dated 2017. Due to how abusive that relationship was. I just can't bring myself to open up to anyone. But I don't think either of us are pathetic for it. And kicked puppies can turn into the coolest dogs too. Maybe don't tell him everything at once, but giving bits of information here and there will help him understand you better.
Load More Replies... Ada Hunter 8 months ago
i have too many of these. my main one is i’ve never told anyone how long my mental health has been bad. i wanted to not be alive since i was like 5 or 6. my whole childhood, before i got diagnosed with depression, my main thought was i wanted to unalive to see if anyone would actually care. i had a hard childhood but not because of my family or my environment, but because of myself.
Luna Ulla Cieslak 8 months ago
I don't know you, Ada Hunter, but I hear you and I care about you! I am happy that you are here and reaching out! You are loved, Ada!
Load More Replies... bbfa 8 months ago (edited)
My secret is that I am a woman who had to train herself to like babies. They are smelly, loud, destroy your freedom and I couldn't imagine wiping someone's sh*t. But, for years I have coerced myself to feel empathetic feelings when I see or hold one. Now I adore seeing and cuddling them. You can learn empathy and love, it's possible. I still won't change diapers though, and am glad I am child free. I enjoy my nephews and give them back..
John Dilligaf 8 months ago
I got a good job that required me to relocate half the country away from my extended family. I quit that job, but haven't told anyone in my family because they'd immediately expect me to move "back home".
John Harrison 8 months ago (edited)
My Disturbing Secret That I Wouldn't Even Tell My Partner is that I pronounce "GIF" with a soft "G".
Seonag Udell 8 months ago
When memes first came out I thought they were pronounced me me's, I still get the micky taken out of me by the only two people who know, my husband and little sister. I was in my early 30s by the way.
Load More Replies... brittany 8 months ago
i lived with my best friend after college. i went to do my laundry after work. she told me she would be working late and said if my sheets werent done by bed time i could just nap in her bed till they dried. i took her up on the offer and felt something scratch against my leg. i found a dead flattened withered mouse in her bed. there was a very defined stain in her sheets from where it had been laying there for who knows how long. we usually did our own laundry so id never actually seen her do her sheets. now im wondering if she EVER did them. i disposed of the critter and never ever told her. and no we did not have a cat so it definitely wasnt a 'gift' from a beloved pet
brittany 8 months ago
also yes i washed her sheets and scrubbed the bedding down
Load More Replies... Esme J. 8 months ago
There’s a malicious woman that reads bored panda. She has said nasty things to my two nieces and nephew and has harassed other children in their building and block. Shes is racist against Asians and Black People. Shes bitterly single, and has been unemployed for over a year. She dresses terrible and has pathetic taste in music.
Annabel Again 8 months ago
Every single one of the posts in this article cuts off after about the first sentence it is so maddening I don't know what is happening has happened, or will happen to any of these people! BP, please fix it!!!
Veronica Monell 8 months ago
This page isn't loading for me... #1 days function in parentheses but nothing else lol
Steve Hall 8 months ago
I noticed that the farther down this list you read the fewer points the posts have.
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