“Forgot To Eat Pizza In Italy”: 30 People Share Their Deepest Regrets From Their 20s, Ranging From Humorous To Tragic
When does someone truly become an adult? In many countries, turning 18 is a turning point in the eyes of the law that unlocks all sorts of privileges. But as this Reddit post will show, many agree that we’ll continue making all sorts of dumb mistakes throughout our early and mid 20s!
The truth is that different people mature at different rates. Furthermore, the question of when you actually become an adult can really vary depending on whether you ask a lawyer, a doctor, a psychologist, or your parents! As you read this list, we invite you to reflect on your own life - when, if ever, do you think you “grew up”?
This question got people to share some of their deepest regrets and mistakes
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Drank my way through my entire 20s. After 25 it wasn't really fun anymore but that didn't stop me. Drank for another 5 years. My 20s are a total blur splattered with some fun times here and there. But mostly just me running away from things with alcohol. Almost 17 years later and not one drop. My 30s and 40s are exceptionally better.
Grand of you to think that I stopped doing dumb things after my 20s!
Moved in with a girlfriend before finding out more about her preferences. We had been dating for a year but I didn’t realize how much of a problem she had sharing until we lived together. We did for 5 years and never shared a bedroom, had everything split down the middle including the pantry and fridge, even when it came to spices she insisted on me getting my own. She hated it when I would be in the same room as her unless it was under “her terms.”Whenever I asked to make our relationship more of a shared experience I was gaslit into believing I was wrong for not allowing boundaries. She moved out a month ago and I couldn’t believe how quickly my mental health improved simply by not having that toxic influence around anymore.
In a legal sense, adulthood is primarily a cultural question. It reflects when a society believes young people become sufficiently competent to do certain things and can vary from country to country or, in the US, even state-to-state.
Not getting help for my depression sooner. Spent the entire first half of my 20s in the darkest place I can imagine, and all I needed to feel better was some meds once a day
Assumed climbing the corporate ladder is the way to do life
Let myself get overweight
At 20: "I can eat whatever I want!" At 30: "Edit: Turns out I couldn't."
Depending on where you are in the US, people may be able to start driving at 16, 17 or 18. The US allows people to sign up for military service at 18, but only allows alcohol consumption at 21 years of age. In Europe, many countries allow alcohol and tobacco consumption at 18, but a few allow people as young as 16 to legally consume alcohol.
I had good teeth for most of my life, until I fell into a very dark, depressed place in my late teens and early 20s — at which point, I didn't care about anything, including my teeth. I got the help I needed a couple of years ago and have been doing much better, mentally speaking, since then, and I've been taking care of my teeth. I do all the right things: brush twice a day, floss, avoid sugary drinks, etc., but no matter how hard I try to stay on top of them and keep them in good shape, they're continuing to get worse as I haven't been able to get the previous damage fixed due to financial reasons (dental work is expensive AF). Moral of the story for anybody reading this: TAKE CARE OF YOUR TEETH, or you WILL regret it!
Everyone wants to hear about dumb stuff like driving eight hours to get with someone you liked only for it to end up being a booty call. However, I personally think it was my general lack of effort to build any good habits like exercise. Your body likes routines, and my routine of gaming for 15 hours a day was not one I should have cultivated.
I agree with this 100%. I thought running around after a toddler was good enough, but looking back decades later, I wish I had made an effort to keep in shape and active when I was used to it. It's part of the whole youth being wasted on the young thing. Until you feel the years affecting your body, you don't know.
The question of marriage and consent is also an important and touchy subject. While some cultures and religions around the world may embrace a younger standard for marriage or even parenthood, most of the West considers people to be fully mature at 18. This viewpoint embraces not just physiological aspects, but psychological, emotional, and legal considerations as well.
Beg to be loved.
Whilst partying with some construction guys at my new office building one Friday night, I let them hold me by the ankles, so I could lay flat on the crenelated stone roof opening and admire their handiwork.
Unfortunately, I had my purse on my arm, and my wallet fell out, unbeknownst to me. I'd just come from the store, where I'd cashed my entire paycheck. I was upset all weekend.
Come Monday morning, my supervisor called me into her office. She handed me my wallet and said, "The maintenance guy spotted your wallet on the roof of the parking garage. I don't want to know how it got there, just don't ever do that again."
All the cash was still inside. And I never let construction dudes dangle me from a rooftop again. Nice stonework, though.
But what does science think? Well, most of us reach the peak of our physiological development in our early to mid 20s, and our brains stop developing by around age 25. Our capacity for logical reasoning develops at around age 16, but much of the other mental characteristics we need to successfully navigate life can appear later.
Sold my body for money and allowed myself to be abused and humiliated on nearly a daily basis.
So sorry you had to go through this - you are very brave to move on from it!!! X
Worked way too hard and burnt out. Sacrificed family time. Sacrificed health. Need to pace yourself at the age of 20-30.
It was fun and extremely worth to work in IT 10-16 hours a day in the late 1990s and beginning of the 2000s. My record was 74 hours with cca. 2 litres of espresso and 2 showers, but w/o any sleep. I made a decent financial foundation but ruined my late 20s, early 30s and my mental health. I left the multinationals and have my own business in my own pace since 2006.
Some like to point out that people in the past were forced to mature much faster than adults in the West are today. That may be true for people living in rural areas or subjected to pre-child-labor-law industry, but it wasn’t universal.
I took powerlifting way too seriously. I spent 7 years in gyms, for hours every day, skipping every social occasion and holiday. I didn't get as strong as I wanted to. I just got all sorts of physical issues to deal with for the rest of my life now.
Developed a drinking problem in undergrad that evolved into full-blown alcoholism in grad school. Stopped taking care of myself. Went from a 200 pound muscular 6’2” to a 300 pound slob. Got a DUI in my late 20s. Stopped drinking for a bit, then thought I could maybe drink socially again. I could not. Gained 10 more pounds. Thankfully about 2 years ago I stopped drinking, got diagnosed with ADHD and procured the meds associated with it, and am able to unwind with an edible if I need it as opposed to booze. Dropped down to 255 and am back in the gym. I can’t recover what I lost, but I can do my best to make sure it doesn’t happen again.
Drink and drive.
A lot.
Never got busted. Quite stupid. I am now 5 years sober(unrelated). I say this from the bottom of my heart. There are friends, taxis, Uber, Lyft etc….utilize these for yourself.
I've only ever driven drunk, I was moderately drunk. The most frightening experience was that everything happened much sooner than I expected. The distance to the traffic light was shorter, I turned faster than I should have, etc. I will never do it again in my life and I thank the Holy Designer that I didn't kill anyone (probably).
In a fascinating piece in The Atlantic, the author reminds us that famous author Henry David Thoreau published his first book at 31. Until that time, he had been quite aimless, living with parents or friends and working any job he could get his hands on.
Not studying properly.
At the time studying for 2-7 years seemed like a life time, but now at 30 I wish I had done it. Don't have the money or flexibility to do it now
When I started working in the IT sector in 1990, a high school diploma was enough. If I wouldn't have my own business now and had to look for a job, I'd be in big trouble. The number of graduates has increased so much that even receptionists are expected to have a college degree. The online application systems simply throw you in the bin if they ask for a degree but you only have a high school diploma + 30 years of experiences.
Got married, followed by the smartest thing I ever did, got divorced.
Only if you're with the wrong person , and only if you are not mutually (& genuinely) invested in the relationship
Got married to the wrong woman.
Never get married to someone who isnt sure if they love you. That person is damaged and needs space.
Not being sure that you love someone doesn't mean that you are damaged.
The author – Julie Beck – writes: “In the United States, people are getting married and having kids later in life, but those are just optional trappings of adulthood, not the thing itself. Psychologists talk of a period of prolonged adolescence, or emerging adulthood, that lasts into the 20s, but when have you emerged? What makes you finally, really an adult?”
Took a $12k loan to buy a motorcycle. Didn’t want to pay for comprehensive insurance, bike got stolen 4 months later
Drove 187 miles to drop her a scarf back that she left at my student house.
Didn't even get a thanks. Just an Instagram story of her wearing the scarf out that night.
My friends in the twenties would have just nicknamed you scarfface and moved on.
I wanted to say so many things but i read someone forgot to eat pizza in Italy. All of a sudden my dumbest thing wasn't so dumb, it even cured my depression.
I recall on a trip back to England many years ago finding out through Trip Advisor there was this MUST GO TO pizza place in Covent Garden, London. My partner and I waiting in line for over an hour to place our order, paid way over what we would normally pay, wait another hour or so for the order to progress in the queue only to be very disappointed in a very thin and barely topped warm pizza :(
She also adds an important point for our post here: “Adulthood is a social construct. For that matter, so is childhood. But like all social constructs, they have real consequences. They determine who is legally responsible for their actions and who is not, what roles people are allowed to assume in society, how people view each other, and how they view themselves. But even in the realms where it should be easiest to define the difference—law, physical development—adulthood defies simplicity.”
Ruined all my early friendships being an out of control drunk. Gave up the ones I had left when I got sober.
Seven years sober in September. It took three years for people to stop calling me to come party. It's been four years since I've talked to anyone that I didn't bump into at a funeral.
ones me and my friends nicked a politician's car just out of curiosity of what's gonna happen and boy'o boy a lot happened
edit- so we broke one side mirror of the car while it was parked in open ground (also surrounded by 10 other cars) there were no guards nearby but the car started blinking its lights and the boys were just laughing when all of a sudden there were 10 guys with ar riffles with a jacked dude as their head guard surrounding us
I thought they were gonna call the cops but they didn't, they took us to the security area and the first question the guy asked: "Who sent you ?" we were kinda freaked out but one of us answered "It was by accident" a guard came ahead and smacked his face. he was the toughest dude among all of but that day he almost started crying. this made me freak out a little more, The guard who had smacked one of the boys turned towards me and asked, "What do you have to say for yourself?" I stammered and tried to explain that we were just fooling around and that it was an accident. But the guard wasn't having any of it. He looked at me with a steely gaze and said, "You guys messed with the wrong people", well not exactly that coz I translate it
As he spoke, I noticed a sense of fear in his eyes. It was almost as if he was afraid of what his superiors would do if he didn't handle us properly. I couldn't blame him. We had clearly broken the rules, and we were in a lot of trouble. they started checking out pockets for knives or any other damaging items, we didn't had any so that made the situation a little lighter they made us sit there for about 3 hours and also confiscated our phones so there was no chance we could call anyone. we were still freaked out but still chuckling when looking at each other. when it was time for the politician to leave then the head guard finally spoke. "You're lucky we're feeling generous today. We're going to let you go only if you join the rally to lift the hoardings". it was not so strange request as they usually have to hire men for that work, With that, we were out of the security area the head guard proved all 4 of us with 4 flags we were feeling shaken and humiliated. soon there was a mob of about 200 people which gave an easy way to lose the guards. A group of 15 or so people started an argument over which group will be with the leader's car but the argument turned into a fight. It couldn't have been a better time to escape so that's what we did. the security camp still had our phones so next we went there or rather I went there coz rest of em didn't seem to care about their phones, the camp had a guard who didn't recognise me for some reason. I told him that there was a brawl going on at the rally ground and they are calling the guards. That poor soul believed me and went straight to the ground, I couldn't believe he didn't even think twice, so I took the phones and also a lighter which was lying there(coz why not ) the boys were on the highway next to the ground (they couldn't see us coz of the mob) I located them by complete luck. Our car was parked on the other side of the highway so that was also an easy escape for us
As we drove away, I couldn't help but think about the consequences of our actions. We had put ourselves in a dangerous situation, and we were lucky to have gotten away It was a lesson I would never forget.
Tl;dr: "And then I woke up and realized none of this happened."
The essence of this post captures exactly that. Most of these people have entered the world as independent adults, but the mistakes they’ve made show that adulthood is a learning process that never truly ends.
Snuck into a construction site and drove a steam roller around for a while… I couldn’t believe they just left the keys in it
We used to drive the dumpers left at the construction sites where I lived. On day it ran out of petrol and we had to leave it about 2 miles away on a dirt track. Next weekend it was back but this time they had disconnected the spark plug so it wouldn't start. That didn't stop us but kept an eye on the fuel level.
Got approved for a credit card with a $5500 limit at 19. Oopsie.
Did that in my 30, road my bike all round Spain in August. Just stopping where the bike took me, blow 3k I had in my bank and an extra 4k.plus on my credit. All out, beach party's booze girls 5 star hotels. had a great time don't regret it but it took 8 years to pay of the card.
jumped from an express train going at a speed of nearly 40-45 kmph. No, not a suicide attempt, it's just that the train wasn't supposed to stop at the station I wanted to get off. So I jumped when it entered the station.
Somehow landed on my feet and couldn't believe it, had a smirk, and as soon as I looked in front, there was a policeman with a stick. Never in my life have i seen a policeman at that station. He casually asked me "Did you just jump from that train?". I went blank. He said," ok, come with me, you're going to the station(police)".
Now comes the fun part. It's an early morning and since the police station is within walking distance from the railway station,i am getting escorted by two policemen, one in front and other back, In the middle of both the station is the local market that sets up at the morning. its crowded and everyone is looking at me,some laughing, while police is making way.I lowered my head down and the only thing coming to my mind is "the walk of shame" from GOT.
Nevertheless, after reaching the staion, the policeman informs me that since its saturday, either you pay fine or be in jail till monday when they will produce me in front of judge.Begged a little, spoke in english a little, acted sincered, made sure they knew am well educated and finally the senior guy let me go with a bribe. was seriously disappointed with how a police station actually looks like. Am from India btw.
Dumbest thing I did in my 20s? Got drawn into a church that liked to collect broken people. Years later I'm still trying to undo the brainwashing
Same here - met my ex, who in hindsight wasted 5 years of my life before we parted in my 30s. I wish my Dad could have met a better man than him (though manchild would be a more fitting term)...
Load More Replies...Dumbest thing I did in my 20s? Got drawn into a church that liked to collect broken people. Years later I'm still trying to undo the brainwashing
Same here - met my ex, who in hindsight wasted 5 years of my life before we parted in my 30s. I wish my Dad could have met a better man than him (though manchild would be a more fitting term)...
Load More Replies...