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30 Harsh Life Realities 20-Somethings Don’t Realize Yet, According To People In Their 40s
You tend to take life for granted in your 20s, and why wouldn’t you? You can wake up without a hangover after a night of drinking and work out without stretching. You feel invincible and perpetually ready to conquer anything.
But as you grow older, you will feel Father Time’s harsh reality checks. Before you know it, you might suffer from head-splitting tinnitus from the numerous concerts you’ve attended without ear protection or need knee replacement surgery after many years of wearing high heels.
These 40-somethings would know, and they are sharing their nuggets of wisdom with 20-year-olds in this Reddit thread. If you’re a youngster who has yet to reach your prime, you may want to take notes and save yourself from potential future suffering.
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#2
Sleep, FOR THE LOVE OF GOD SLEEP, nothing will f**k you up long term than thinking going without sleep isn't going to hurt you.
DennyS (denzoren) 3 weeks ago
Oh yeah, I stopped overworking years ago because they're gonna replace you immediately (related to being awake all hours completing overtime that wasn't paid for either).
#3
Wear some freaking sunscreen. Skin cancer sucks!
#4
Diet, posture, physical activity. All of those are much easier to correct in your 20s than your 40s.
Ovata Acronicta 3 weeks ago
But also the second best time to start is now, regardless of your age.
#5
Their teeth. You get only two sets of teeth and the first is lost at a very early age.
Invest in an electric toothbrush and use it liberally.
Frank Hassler 3 weeks ago
Actually, don’t over-brush. You can damage your gums that way. Do it just enough to get them clean.
#6
Time with the family & your elders. You miss miss them when they're either passed (parents, grandparents) or all grown up (sweet children, nieces & nephews). Even time with elder mentors, such as teachers.
Enjoy everyone while you have them and while they have you!
Saint-Thomas 3 weeks ago
I know it's for illustration purpose, but come on... no one can play Rummikub on such a small surface.
#7
I would reverse the question. Most 20 somethings think soooo many things are the end all.
Basically, none of it matters. Keep working on being the best person you can be.
#8
Everyone saying their health, which isn't wrong.
What's really going to affect you is your parents' health, presuming they're still alive and you have a good relationship with them. If your parents live into old age, they will need more and more help. They won't understand how things work. They'll be more susceptible to scams. If they're like mine, they'll be stubborn and won't acknowledge their weakening faculties. Try getting someone who's driven for 60 years to surrender their license because their eyes aren't so good.
And when one dies, the other will likely have fallen into a very co-dependent lifestyle, and the structure is completely destroyed.
You know it's going to happen, but you don't realize how it'll manifest itself until it plays out.
Edit: well, this took off. Glad to hear this actually helped some people. But yeah, it sucks.
PeriMeNope 3 weeks ago
I am 45. I lost my Daddy to brain cancer last year. He was 66 years old. Nothing prepared me for that; nor do I think anything could. But, I definitely didn't think, in my 20s, that I would be down a parent in my 40s. My mom has had one health issue after another for the past two years but, thankfully, is doing well now. So, folks, in your 20s, appreciate your parents' vitality and presence. My 40s made me grow up faster than anything else.
#9
Cut back on the carbs and sugar now. Also, keep exercising. Don’t take a break in your 30’s because the kids are keeping you too busy. Trying to lose weight in your 40’s is torture. I’ve been hungry for 3 years.
#10
Lack of stretching. Stretch younglings, stretch.
DennyS (denzoren) 3 weeks ago
What amazed me is how much difference a little stretching makes. I'm a big guy and was amazed lol
#11
Their online behavior.
You can see it on reddit every day. Grown ups in their twenties don't know the very basics of human interaction. Get off of tictoc, insta and reddit. That's not the real world. In fact it is as far from the real world as it could be.
Get out, touch gras. I can't believe I'm writing this.
#12
Some tips:
Waer earplugs anywhere loud because tinnitus is a f*****g curse. You can still enjoy stuff with them in.
Sunblock EVERY TIME YOU'RE OUTSIDE because the sun eats the youth from your face. And can also give you cancer. Wear sunglasses too.
Moisturise with simple cream like cocoa butter. Every time you bathe or shower All over.
Eat well. Lots of fibre. Drink water.
Look at your poop and be aware of what's normal and what could possibly be warning signs of serious illness (dark blood, black poop etc.) Bright red blood usually means hemorrhoids.
Check your boobs or balls regularly for lumps. If you find one go to the bloody doctor.
Brush your damn teeth with fluoride toothpaste before you go to bed. Circular motions. Don't scrub them like a dirty saucepan. Don't brush immediately after eating or drinking. Don't rinse your mouth afterwards. Don't use alcohol mouthwash. Any pain at all go to the dentist. Infections can kill you.
Don't ignore chronic symptoms like a cough or stomach pain or chest pain.
EXERCISE aerobic and weight bearing. Dancing around your living room is good.
Don't eat or drink anything with artificial sweeteners if possible as they're evil.
Don't drink sugary drinks. A lot of weight gain can be caused by drinking excessive calories. It's not just food that makes you fat.
Vitamin D supplements.
Read. Books, articles, creepy pastas, anything.
If you have the opportunity to do something that'll make you happy that won't hurt anyone then just bloody do it. Don't stand in your own way. Regret is a curse.
I love you. You're awesome. Be the best you that you can be.
#13
The power of compounding interest. For the love of god, start socking some money into your retirement as early as possible. Look at the charts online of the difference between starting to save a little when you’re younger versus how much you have to put away when you’re older to actually retire one day.
keyboardtek 3 weeks ago
When we inherited some money we asked our investment friend which mutual funds we should invest in. He himself refuses to invest in mutual funds. He said buy government treasury bonds. They are low interest payouts but are 100% guaranteed so he does not have to worry at all. He retired at age 55 a comfortable happy person.
#14
Travel internationally in your 20s when you’re single, with friends, stay in hostels if you have to
Smeghead Tribble Down Under 3 weeks ago
Great suggestion if you can afford it. From 20 to almost 23 I worked for a family member six days a week, nine or ten hours a day for about $1 an hour. This was in 2001 - 03. For context, minimum wage in Australia at that time was around $11.80 an hour. I'm now 44 and have never had the means or opportunity to travel even within my own country.
#15
Take care of your mental health. Cut down toxic relationships. You are worth it! ❤️
DennyS (denzoren) 3 weeks ago
This...and I needed to heed this a long time ago but it's never too late. Relatives...amirite lol
#16
People in their 20s don’t realize that every year they live isn’t just another trip around the sun; it’s another brick added to the backpack you’re carrying through life. When you’re young, that bag’s practically empty—light as hell. You’ve got a few memories, a couple of heartbreaks, maybe a regret or two, but nothing that really weighs you down. You’re sprinting through life thinking it’ll always feel this fresh and easy.
But by the time you hit your 40s, that backpack’s packed to the brim. Every relationship you’ve had, every choice you made—or didn’t make—starts to add up. It’s not just the passage of time; it’s the *weight* of that time. You’ve got the good stuff—family, love, achievements—but you’ve also got the “what-ifs,” the missed opportunities, and the regrets. Those regrets? Man, they’re like invisible bricks—things you didn’t even know would haunt you later. Not calling someone when you should’ve, passing on that one big risk, staying in a bad situation too long... all that stacks up.
And memories? Oh, those hit different too. They start to stick to you like wet cement—some beautiful, some bittersweet, some straight-up painful. You don’t realize in your 20s that every phase of your life leaves a mark. It’s not just time flying by; it’s life building up behind you. By 40, you’re dragging around this whole-a*s timeline of experiences, relationships, and regrets. The weight of all that can be inspiring or crushing, depending on how you dealt with it.
In your 20s, you’re running free with a clean slate, but every year that slate gets messier. And one day, you wake up and realize you’re not just living for the moment anymore—you’re carrying the weight of every moment you’ve ever lived. That’s the s**t nobody warns you about.
keyboardtek 3 weeks ago
And when you get to 70, your memory starts to get wonky and you can barely remember all the bad stuff that happened. Then you become nostalgic which is the brain misremembering how bad life was and your brain starts to create a rosy memory of the past.
#17
I've seen way too many people who spent their 20s and 30s grinding. They end up with full bank accounts, but no real friends, community or life experiences. Those are the people who end up with epic mid life crises.
Money comes and goes, but genuine friends and experiences can't be bought.
#19
That physical job is not paying you for the damage it does to your body. I did flooring for 18 years before I got out of it. I was a sub contractor and made great money. Until I realized that it wasn't enough to fix my joints. I have shoulder problems from carrying rolls of carpet and pad up endless flights of stairs. I was lucky and somehow my knees are ok.
Child of the Stars 3 weeks ago
I don't like the wording in this one. It feels like it's discouraging people from doing manual labor jobs. We need people to do them and the younger you are, the easier it is to do. BUT it's important to use the appropriate tools. Use things like knee pads and back supports and do things like stretching before and after work to minimize damage to the body.
#20
Sticking with a person you are never going to change. Worst mistake ever.
DennyS (denzoren) 3 weeks ago
"I can fix him/her" most likely ain't worth it. (Always reminds me of that psych episode with Gus lol)
#21
Real talk here, and this is not something I am seeing elsewhere in this thread.
Learn that it CAN be you. You are NOT immune and you will, in some way and at something, become a statistic.
Everyone thinks it won't be them:
You won't get in a car accident, you're a safe driver.
You won't get diabetes, you've always been good about sweets.
You'd never fall for propaganda, you're too smart for that.
You'd never end up in a cult, only gullible people believe in stuff like that.
You'll never end up on the streets or in prison, you would never commit a crime.
You'll never get cancer, that's something that happens to old people, or smokers, or people exposed to radiation.
You'd never fall for obvious advertising, you're too smart to be caught by tricks like word choice or urgency or edited photos.
You'll never fall for a scammer, you know better than that.
Become comfortable with the fact that things WILL happen to you. That you'll get sick or injured or develop a chronic illness. That you'll get taken in by what in hindsight will be an obvious scam. That you'll believe someone's lies, or end up impoverished or desperate, or if YOU were in such-and-such situations you very probably would make the same mistakes that anyone in that situation would.
Being aware that you aren't likely to be the exception to the rule is a kindness to yourself and others.
Example: People don't fall for elder abuse scams because they're *stupid.* Elders fall to these scams because when cognition begins to decline, medically speaking, one of the first things to go is our suspension of disbelief. It's a normal and expected part of aging, and while it might NOT happen to you, remembering that it could will help you be more compassionate to others victimized in this way. It will also allow you to develop habits that will prevent you (or elders you love) from being taken advantage of in this way before it happens.
The same applies to everything else — reminding yourself that you aren't some elite being who avoids all trauma because you're smarter/faster/stronger/better makes you kinder and allows you to prepare in the event that something bad DOES happen to you.
And oh, my friend, something will happen to you, sooner or later. You will be a statistic in one way or another before (or after) you die.
brandyy17 3 weeks ago
one of my best friends was the healthiest person i kno. she was athletetic, a healthy eater, super active etc. wen she was 25 she got lukemia. 27 lung cancer. 29 heart cancer. she died at the age of 32 due to all 3 cancers being terminal. it happened to another friend of mine too. he got cancer at 19 died at 22. he was super healthy and his dream was to b in the nfl. another friend at 18 got his motorcycle liscense and everyone was worried bc he was kind of a wreckless driver. he said he would never get into an accident with his motorcycle. a week later a drunk driver hit him and he died in the hospital a few days later. like this person says thinking somethings wont happen to u doesnt mean it wont.
#22
Cynicism. You'll disguise it as "realism." But you gotta get past that s**t to wisdom. And even then, you get maybe a tiny kernel of wisdom, if you're lucky. But it's better than sauntering through life feeling hard done by. I've moved on from friends who thought this way, people who don't lift you up and are only too happy to help you down.
#23
Lots of great responses in here mainly related to health and lifestyle choices... but let's not forget one of the most important ones:
GET RID OF THE NEGATIVE ENERGY IN YOUR LIFE. that includes bad habits and bad people... even if they're family. i've seen some people keep losers (male & female) around for far too long, and they got bogged down with their problems. then, when they needed help, the losers pulled them down even more.
the people you choose to have in your life can greatly affect the course of your life... make sure they're adding and not subtracting.
#24
Save money. When I was 20 I used to say, I’ll start saving when I get a good job. Well, my dream job came at my 40 and I spend 20 years just spending money and not saving. When i say save money I mean save and invest
#25
If you have a job in your twenties where you keep hurting your back, get the f**k as far away from that job as possible. It's going to be hell in your 40s if you don't smarten up now.
keyboardtek 3 weeks ago
Just having bad posture will damage a spinal joint. I did electronic repair at a workbench which I was always looking down at the equipment I was working on. By age 65 I had three herniated disks in my neck. Young people looking down at their phones will create tons of work for neurosurgeons.
#26
Like everyone else said - Your health goes downhill after 40. Get active. Enjoy it. Love it.
Find out your family’s medical history. In some cases, doesn’t matter what you eat or drink, you’re gonna get nailed with diabetes or heart disease or cancer. Find out if it runs in your family history and prepare/plan for it.
Save your money. And if you already are, save even more. Inflation / Cost of living has shown us that a million dollars doesn’t even buy a home here. Doesn’t keep you comfortable for retirement. Save, invest, become financially literate.
People will come and go. Don’t get attached or take it personally. We are all on our own journey. Enjoy them when they are with you and be happy for them from afar when they drift away.
#27
Ladies and gentlemen of the class of ‘99
Wear sunscreen
If I could offer you only one tip for the future, sunscreen would be it
A long-term benefits of sunscreen have been proved by scientists
Whereas the rest of my advice has no basis more reliable
Than my own meandering experience, I will dispense this advice now
Enjoy the power and beauty of your youth, oh, never mind
You will not understand the power and beauty of your youth
Until they’ve faded, but trust me, in 20 years, you’ll look back
At photos of yourself and recall in a way you can’t grasp now
How much possibility lay before you and how fabulous you really looked
You are not as fat as you imagine
Don’t worry about the future
Or worry, but know that worrying
Is as effective as trying to solve an algebra equation by chewing Bubble gum
The real troubles in your life
Are apt to be things that never crossed your worried mind
The kind that blindsides you at 4 p.m. on some idle Tuesday
Do one thing every day that scares you
Saying, don’t be reckless with other people’s hearts
Don’t put up with people who are reckless with yours
Floss
Don’t waste your time on jealousy
Sometimes you’re ahead, sometimes you’re behind
The race is long and in the end, it’s only with yourself
Remember compliments you receive, forget the insults
If you succeed in doing this, tell me how
Keep your old love letters, throw away your old bank statements
Stretch
Don’t feel guilty if you don’t know what you want to do with your life
The most interesting people I know
Didn’t know at 22 what they wanted to do with their lives
Some of the most interesting 40-year-olds I know still don’t
Get plenty of calcium
Be kind to your knees
You’ll miss them when they’re gone
Maybe you’ll marry, maybe you won’t
Maybe you’ll have children, maybe you won’t
Maybe you’ll divorce at 40, maybe you’ll dance the ‘Funky Chicken’
On your 75th wedding anniversary
Whatever you do, don’t congratulate yourself too much
Or berate yourself either
Your choices are half chance, so are everybody else’s
Enjoy your body, use it every way you can
Don’t be afraid of it or what other people think of it
It’s the greatest instrument you’ll ever own
Dance, even if you have nowhere to do it but your own living room
Read the directions even if you don’t follow them
Do not read beauty magazines, they will only make you feel ugly
Get to know your parents, you never know when they’ll be gone for good
Be nice to your siblings, they’re your best link to your past
And the people most likely to stick with you in the future
Understand that friends come and go
But a precious few, who should hold on
Work hard to bridge the gaps in geography and lifestyle
For as the older you get
The more you need the people you knew when you were young
Live in New York City once but leave before it makes you hard
Live in northern California once but leave before it makes you soft
Travel
Accept certain inalienable truths
Prices will rise, politicians will philander, you too, will get old
And when you do, you’ll fantasize that when you were young
Prices were reasonable, politicians were noble
And children respected their elders
Respect your elders
Don’t expect anyone else to support you
Maybe you have a trust fund, maybe you’ll have a wealthy spouse
But you never know when either one might run out
Don’t mess too much with your hair
Or by the time you’re 40 it will look 85
Be careful whose advice you buy but be patient with those who supply it
Advice is a form of nostalgia, dispensing it is a way of fishing the past
From the disposal, wiping it off, painting over the ugly parts
And recycling it for more than it’s worth
But trust me on the sunscreen
#28
Never expect too much from ppl.. Some ppl enters your life to stay , some are like travelers will pass you by, some are there to give you a lesson then walk away.. So keep your distance from others and protect your boundaries so you won't get disappointed . .. Always tell yourself " THIS TOO SHALL PASS "
keyboardtek 3 weeks ago
Before diagnosing yourself as having depression, first make sure you are not surrounded by ashats.
#30
I never really thought about it until now but in my teens and 20s I was always into rough sports, Rugby, Skateboarding, Dirt Biking etc and I always pushed it too far and would get hurt. Older folks would say “you are going to feel it when you are older. I’m 40 now and feel great. I have friends that didn’t do much physical their whole life and they have back and knee issues and stuff. I continue to stay active, I shoe horses for a living, still dirtbike, ride horses and snowmobile. I feel great.
So my advice is stay active, even if it’s risky.
EDIT: Also take your mental health seriously and get help soon even if you are just slightly depressed or anxious. Putting it off for years can have devastating lasting effects.
Tim Douglass 3 weeks ago
That's pretty awful advice. You got very, very lucky. Most people who did all that stuff in their 20s are nursing bad knees, bad backs, crackling shoulders, and constant pain. Just because you won at Russian Roulette with 5 chambers loaded doesn't make it a good plan.
What do you think ?
Cyriel 3 weeks ago
So save money and invest but also spend some because your 20s are the freer time to make memories, be active but not too much to keep your knees, spend time with family but also block it if they're negative... Damn it feel that the only consistent advice is wear sunscreen and protect your ears. All the rest is up to a particular individual's regret, and doesn't account for the fact that most people in their 20s today struggle to feed themselves even with a full time job.
Ace 3 weeks ago
Inaccurate as well, in some of them downright wrong. I stopped reading about half way down. What I'd say to those people in their forties making such comments: you don't know you're born yet, give it another twenty years and you'll be unable to distinguish your 20s from your 40s.
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Cyriel 3 weeks ago
So save money and invest but also spend some because your 20s are the freer time to make memories, be active but not too much to keep your knees, spend time with family but also block it if they're negative... Damn it feel that the only consistent advice is wear sunscreen and protect your ears. All the rest is up to a particular individual's regret, and doesn't account for the fact that most people in their 20s today struggle to feed themselves even with a full time job.
Ace 3 weeks ago
Inaccurate as well, in some of them downright wrong. I stopped reading about half way down. What I'd say to those people in their forties making such comments: you don't know you're born yet, give it another twenty years and you'll be unable to distinguish your 20s from your 40s.
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