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While one partner not showing up to the altar seems like a movie or TV cliche at this point, there are enough real-life cases to keep screenwriters busy for years. Because going from an accepted proposal to an entire marriage falling apart requires a good bit of drama to take place.
So some netizens really wanted to hear others' tales of weddings that were canceled right at the last minute and what caused it to happen. The internet responded with some tales ridden with drama, intrigue, and betrayal, as well as good old human stupidity. We got in touch with Shay Yellin from Bespoke-Bride.com to learn more.
More info: bespoke-bride.com | Instagram
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#1
We called off our wedding because my fiance got cancer. We spent what was supposed to be our wedding day in the hospital. However! He is cancer free now, so we've decided to MAYBE start thinking about getting married again in a year. We've both decided we're not planning the damn thing though. Eff that. Elopement all the way betches!
RELATED:
#2
I was 18 and had just had a kid with my first boyfriend. Unfortunately, said boyfriend was abusive as s**t, but I'd been putting up with it because I didn't know any better and didn't have family to help me out. The wedding was 2 weeks away, invitations had gone out, I had my dress, everything was ready to go. Then, one night he starts up with his craziness (you never know what sets it off), and I was tired so I didn't argue back. And when I didn't argue, he runs into my infant son's room, wakes him up by snatching him out of his crib, and threatens to leave with him and never come back.
As I'm on my knees crying and begging him to please give me the baby and he's holding the screaming child above me like someone holding a piece of steak just out of a dog's reach, I started thinking twice about the whole marriage thing.
I did what I had to to appease him that night, and the next day when he came home from work, he had no idea where I'd moved to. He did call his mother and tell her to shoot me if she saw me though. Luckily, she did not. In fact, she was in the process of aiding and abetting my escape at the very moment he called. F**k that guy.
Did I say that out loud? (he/him)cis/het 1 year ago
I can't help thinking that the mother helped because she knew exactly what the young lady was going through, but she'd never been able to get out of her situation. Like father, like son perhaps?
#3
Called it off because I got a Facebook message from the girl he was sleeping with. Didn't even believe her till she sent me detailed descriptions of *MY* house, complete with the color and pattern of my current bedsheets. Kicked his sorry a*s out and kept the ring. Pawned that s**t. M**********r was living rent free in my house while I paid all the bills. Dumped his a*s, lost 100+ lbs. feelsgoodman.jpg
Bored Panda got in touch with Shay Yellin from Bespoke-Bride.com and she was kind enough to answer some of our questions. First, as wedding specialists, they have probably been around a lot more weddings than most of us, so we wanted to hear some stories of real wedding drama.
“On one occasion, it was a serene garden wedding, adorned with ivory blooms and twinkling lights, the air pregnant with anticipation. As a witness to this wedding that turned frosty, I can only describe it as a scene straight out of a rom-com gone rogue. The atmosphere was electric, but as the clock struck wedding o'clock, the groom's cold feet proved more potent than the hot July sun.”
#4
Obviously, throw-away time. I called off my wedding four days before the big day. Two of my bridesmaids (my best friend since high school and my cousin) got into a huge fight because they found out that he was sleeping with both of them. It was cheating within cheating and was easily the most surreal and heart-breakingly awful experience of my entire life.
#5
We called off our wedding because I had a meltdown over centerpieces. We realized that our priorities were totally in the wrong place and it was becoming more about a wedding than a marriage. We cancelled the wedding and eloped the next week. No regrets.
#6
My fiance called it off when she found out I wasn't rich. Apparently there's a guy with the same name as me who is heir to this huge fortune, whereas I'm just some idiot from a lower middle class family. She came into my life like a dream and I was so taken with her I thought that it was like a fantasy come true. When she met my family and found out who they were, she litteraly ran from the house. I had to track her down and found out after the fact that she was trying to get with someone she thought was an heir. I did a lot of growing up that year, fortunately for me, she didn't get what she wanted either. The guy she was after turned out to be gay and she now makes a living waiting tables.
“I, the ever-enthusiastic guest, found myself caught in a Shakespearean drama, watching as a jilted bride navigated a symphony of sighs and sympathetic glances. The catering crew held trays of canapés that seemed to wither in the icy ambiance, and the violinist's heartfelt melodies transformed into somber requiems. The phrase "left at the altar" suddenly gained a real, vivid hue.”
#7
My best friend called her wedding off 9 days before the big day. She discovered the he had emptied their joint wedding account playing online poker after he emptied his own personal account. She explained that the feeling of losing a down payment on a house, as well as the catering money wasn't anything compared to how she felt when he asked her for her inheritance from her mother (she had passed a year previously) to pay off more gambling debts. No apologies, no mea culpas, just more money. She walked, and 8 years later she's happily married to another guy with 1 boy and a bun in the oven!
#8
After a day of trying on wedding dresses, just me and my maid of honor, we met my family and hubby-to-be at my brother's house for dinner. While showing a picture of myself in a dress to my mother, which was on my bff's phone, she gets a text message from my fiance. This is odd because i can see him in the next room and i can see my friend in the kitchen. I read it of course and its a huge confession from him to her, addressing how they had fooled around a few weeks ago and he was really regretting he hadn't taken things further with her. He had NO idea i had her phone in my hand. I simply stood up and walked the 10 feet to him, held up her phone and looked him in the eye. The look on his face was priceless, and when i could speak i and my entire family let them both have it verbally (we're black, so you can imagine that was quite the showdown). Needless to say, i don't speak to either of them anymore.
#9
I found out my fiancée was acting like a real life bridezilla. I had gotten a text from her friend, it read something like "Got your number from Gina's phone. She's seriously acting c*nty. Are you sure about this?" Not believing it at first, I was then sent videos, and in one video Gina was seriously losing her s**t, screaming at her lifelong friends. This wasn't a side of her I had seen before. Then, I received a video, in which Gina said, and I quote: "He's going to buy me everything I want, he makes enough money, unlike your boyfriend who makes $9 an hour at a s****y retail job. I don't know how you date him, he has no money, he can't buy you anything" The girls response was affectionate, she obviously really loved the guy. Gina's response? "Well if he doesn't have any money what is the point?" I texted Gina's friend saying continue to record video, I'm going to call her. I called Gina and told her the wedding was off, her friends had been recording video of her acting like the biggest b***h on the face of the planet, and they're recording you right now. Why they are recording you, is because I want to see the look on your face and be able to save it forever. The wedding is not only off, but we're through, and since you don't have your name on the lease of our apartment, and I pay for everything, you'll be discovering all your belongings outside on the ground. Delete my number and never attempt to contact me again. The video was absolutely priceless.
ninjaTrashPandaBoom 1 year ago
Like so many of these posts. Especially the AITA ones. "Slightly based on reality" at best.
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margarita pizzaaaa 1 year ago
i clicked on this link, and the reddit community ruled it was fake, as per the retail comment or something. (i’m just as confused as u)
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Willem Oosterhof 1 year ago
Can we pretty please see this recording? I like the picture of schadenfreude and the sound of a sad trombone.
Jessica Shookhoff 1 year ago
Jesus Christ, you don't marry someone cause you feel about them the way you feel about an ATM that just hands out money!
Fox with a Dragon Tattoo 1 year ago
That. Is how you put a bridezilla golddigger in her sh*thole place.
Emma Goransdottir 1 year ago
You truly where lucky to find out her true nature before it was too late 😳
Michelle C 1 year ago
Those folks are true friends! I’ve been both the subject and the supporter in similar situations and every single, one of us who has been through that in my circles has been grateful that we had true friends looking out for us!
“Though the wedding cake remained uncut and the dance floor ungraced by twirling couples, the experience left us with an unforgettable tale to recount. Cold feet, it seems, can indeed be chillier than even the iciest of wedding cake tiers,” she shared with Bored Panda, an all-too-common reason for cancellation that can still provoke pretty strong emotions.
#10
35 years ago I did that. I was a young Naval officer and set to marry the girl I fell in love with at college. I got cold feet three days before the event and cancelled it. It wasn't because I had had second thoughts about her; it was the stupid idea that I thought I could either be a good husband or a good submarine officer. I didn't think I could do both. About 9 months later I got a call from her (about 1000 miles away) and I found out that she had a new boyfriend. It just devestated me. I did everything I could to regain her confidence, but it took almost a year. During that year I was stationed at the submarine base in Bangor, Washington and she was 2400 miles away in Cincinnati, Ohio with that POS rich boyfriend hounding her daily. It really took a toll on me. I had many sleepless nights imagning the worst. I didn't give up though. A few months before we were scheduled to relocate to submarine squadron one in Pearl Harbor I took a chance and drove to Cincinnati. I convinced her to come back to Bangor with me and made the trip through the southwest and then back up the California coast along the Pacific. It was as much like a honeymoon as I could make it on my limited salary, and it was memorable. By the time we reached Washington Mount St Helens erupted. We were on the highway about 40 miles from it when it blew. The sky just turned black and the mud flows washed out the bridges north of us. We were re-routed along the coast and finally made it to Bangor. She had to return to CIncinnati, bu this time it was with the plan to return to Washington. When she flew back we eloped with a justice of the peace. That was almost 33 years ago. We have three sons and we couldn't be happier. Our boys re all grown up and I'm not far from retirment. Marrying her was the best, smartest thing I ever did.
#11
I called off my engagement because the moment I stopped being his girlfriend and started being "his future wife" was the moment I stopped being a person to him and became his property. He hit me, he forced himself on me, he tried to stop me talking to my family or friends. It was scary, and I loved him and was so confused. We'd been together years and he was so nice, what on earth happened?
I spent a few months trying to fix it back to how it was before the engagement, then gave up and ran away. He wasn't going to change, and even if he did, I couldn't forgive him anymore. We hadn't set a date yet, our families couldn't agree on location, style or season and he just wanted "right now, registry office" which nobody but him wanted...
#12
the LIES! oh my goodness the lies. Here's some background: My fiancee had baggage. I knew that. As in, I was going to be ok with becoming stepmom to 3 children, a daughter in law to two cr*ppy parents and sister in law to a stupid mess of a woman, and knew that I would be bringing home the bacon. I even bought a house that would be big enough to house him and the three kids. But he told me he never married his baby-momma, and that he would leave my house at night for occasional night shift work as a cop. I asked to see the court decision regarding the kids, just so I knew what was going on.... he kept the first page from me, that read "Divorce Decree". So when his parents made a "second marriage" comment, I was thrown for a loop. This was a pretty big thing to keep from your wife-to-be in 6 months. I told him to leave, and he swore up and down that was the only thing he lied about. I called his "employer", and it turns out he's not a cop either. So I have NO IDEA where he went when he left the house that I was paying for, and I immediately went to get tested. Yea, the f*****g lies.
Naturally, we also wanted to know if she believed that there are some indications that a marriage is doomed from the beginning. “While I don my metaphorical robes of matrimonial insight, let me share that yes, there are times when the wedding bells might clang a cautionary note rather than a celebratory tune. Having been a humble observer of the marital circus, I've gleaned a few insights.”
“As the confetti settles, watch for signs as subtle as a whispered "I do." When the ceremony resembles a scene from a Shakespearean tragedy, with strained smiles and a bouquet toss that seems more like a shot put, beware. A reception devoid of joyful revelry and echoing laughter might be as alarming as a "Do Not Enter" sign at a merry-go-round.”
#13
A friend of mine attended a wedding where the groom waited till his fiancée arrived at the altar, then pulled a huge red fabric letter A out of his pocket, pinned it to the front of her dress, and walked out of the church without a word.
#14
My dad called off a wedding before he met my mother. He was with this woman that really pressured him into getting married. Basically she just started wedding planning without a proposal. And my dad let it go too far. One night she and her mother were discussing what food was going to be served at the reception. So they asked my dad what he thought. "Roasted chicken or beef?" To which my dad replied, "I don't care which one you're having, because I'm not going to be there." Apparently she bought her own ring, too.
#15
This is one time religion helped me a great deal...
I was engaged to a girl and we were living together, but had known each other for less than a year. She was a true nympho, and I was fine with that at 22.
We went to meet the preacher who was going to marry us, and he suggested we stop having sex for the two months before the wedding to make the night more special. So we did.
We found out rather quickly we had very little in common outside the bedroom. And I wisely chose to call things off.
Not too long after that, I met my soul mate and we've been married for 19 years now.
Christos Arvanitis 1 year ago (edited)
I dated a nymphomaniac once. At first, I thought it was a dream come true but then I realized that the "excessive" desire for sex... as often as possible... was also part of other psychological issues. It defined the relationship. There were trust issues as she was likely cheating as well. She also likely had some variation of borderline personality disorder. Gleaning what I could, she likely was sexually abused by an older brother so she had it pretty rough growing up. Years later I heard that she had become a born again Christian and was living in another extreme. Her life must have been hell and I hope that she found peace. Sexually healthy desires are one thing, a true sexual mania is a whole different thing...
“Watch the body language! When the couple's chemistry sizzles like a soggy firecracker, it could be more than just nerves. And let's not forget the way they waltz—or rather, stumble—through the first dance. If it's less Fred Astaire and more like a toddler's first steps, well, it might be time for a marital safety net. But wait, I'm no wedding whisperer! :) While these hints may have a grain of truth, remember that weddings are kaleidoscopes of emotions and nerves. A touch of cold feet is as natural as that unexpected gust of wind during outdoor vows.”
#16
My mom was engaged to be married to her high school sweetheart, let's call him Bob. Bob went to her doorstep two weeks before their wedding and told her he had joined the military and wasn't ready for marriage. He flew to Germany the next day. Fast-forward 30 years and two divorces later, my mom was single with five children from two marriages. She runs into her old high school sweetheart Bob. He is also single and recently divorced. They fall in love and have been together ever since. **Spoiler Alert: Bob is actually his name.**
#17
I was about two months away from getting married to someone I had been living with for about a year. I was getting fitted for my wedding dress when I looked in the mirror and thought to myself "I really hope he and I can stay friends after we're divorced." Then I thought, "Wait, did I really just think that?"
I got honest with myself and realized that at most, I had lukewarm feelings for this guy and that I only had been thinking about the wedding day but not the marriage or the life we were going to live together. I was 21 and just wanted to get married without having really understood what that meant.
I called it off, moved away, and met the love of my life three months later. We've been together for 11 years now, married for almost four, and are expecting our first baby this summer. Best decision I ever made!
#18
He dislocated my jaw.
whineygingercat 1 year ago (edited)
1) any guy who will hit a woman, is not a MAN. 2) a guy hits me, he only does it ONCE
“In the end, like any discerning connoisseur, I advise savoring the wedding cake and champagne of life with a pinch of realism. While clues may exist, the future remains a canvas begging for the strokes of life's unpredictable brush. So, dance with abandon, toast with optimism, and remember that even when the wedding wobbles, love's unpredictable alchemy might yet create a masterpiece.” You can find their work here, or on Instagram here.
#19
First of all, we were too young. We had been living together for a few years, were serious about each other and felt like it was the next step. We got engaged, planned the wedding for the next summer. Paid tons of deposits, I had a dress and everything. The entire time it felt off. Just stressful and I constantly had this what if I'm making a huge mistake feeling. I should have listened to it sooner, but 4 months before the big day I called it off.
His drinking/drug use had gotten extremely out of control. I realized I couldn't fix him and as much as it hurt I knew that we'd never have a happy life with his addiction issues. I moved my stuff out that next day and told him to leave me alone and never talk to me again because I needed a clean break.
That fall I started grad school and started a new life without him. Several months after we split, he contacted me telling me he'd been in AA for a couple months and needed to make amends as part of his program. I went back to our old place to meet him and saw a different man than I had ever seen.
It's been almost 2 years since we split/called off our wedding and he's been sober that entire time. I'm happy to say we're getting married this summer and this time everything feels right. I have gone to at least one meeting a week with him and while I know he's never "cured" of alcoholism, the fact that he got sober in spite of me not because of me, increases the likelihood that he'll keep at it.
For anyone considering calling off their wedding, I implore you to do so. The wedding train is a tough one to jump off of once it leaves the station, but it can be done and I'm happy to talk to anyone who has questions.
#20
A friend of mine was engaged to a girl. He was your typical SAP, he'd been on literally dozens of first dates from OKcupid and had had no luck with the ladies. Really nice guy, but completely socially lacking. She turned out to be a pathological liar. She was an army vet, she practiced underwater knife fighting, she came from old money but her part of the money had been spent on an incredibly lavish wedding ceremony,she had a daughter or maybe she didn't or maybe the girl was her niece or her friend's kid, she was military police.
The lies got so bad that she decided to move across country in the middle of the night with my friend to avoid a warrant out for her arrest. (fraud and impersonating a police officer) She told him that there were jobs for both of them waiting there with her family business. He had been working on a Ph.D. but had dropped out at her suggestion so he wasn't working at all and they were broke. So, they moved in with her mom and there weren't jobs for either of them. I think to distract him from that fact, she told him she was pregnant (a miracle!). He proposed. The ultrasound photo she showed him showed up on the first page of google image results for 'ultrasound.' He finally broke it off, he called his dad to get some money to fly home. She called him a few weeks later from jail to talk about their 'baby' and how she was going to get an abortion if he didn't get back together with her. The lady, she was nuts.
#21
She was pregnant. We were working on a limited income. We decided it was better to just go to city hall and save the money for the baby.
#22
She decided she was still in love with her ex.
I had her call my mom and my grandma to tell them she was calling off the wedding. She did it and then proceeded to drive 3hrs to see her ex, who then told her he didn't want to be with her.
At least I got back the ring I gave her ... I proposed with the same ring my grandfather proposed to my grandma before leaving for WWII.
#23
We found out I couldn't have children, and he wanted to have children of his own and didn't think adoption was a viable option.
Lost Penny 1 year ago
It's a good thing they found that out before getting married. For some people, adoption is NOT a viable option, & I don't think they should be blamed for that. Nothing good would've come out of their life together had he decided to compromise. There would always be regret, and then there would be resentment that would build & build. It is heartbreaking, but splitting up was the best solution in a scenario like this.
#24
I was about to make a huge mistake. I realized my fiancé was drinking too much, neglecting me emotionally, and was never actually there when I needed him (for example, a friend of mine died, and he didn't want to go with me to the funeral because he had a Magic: The Gathering tournament). I was marrying the completely wrong man, and thank god I realized it before it was too late and was brave enough to call it off.
My family was super supportive, my super awesome grandmother took care of letting all the guests know. My dad had no problem with the money he lost in all the deposits. I gave my wedding cake to a homeless shelter since it was already paid for in full. Three years later, I married a wonderful man who is everything the first guy was not.
#25
I got engaged for the wrong reasons... I thought since I graduated college that it would be the next logical step. But as I started planning the wedding, I could feel in my gut that I was making a horrible decision. I still followed him 1000+ miles away to the city he was planning on attending law school at, but it all fell apart shortly after moving. It was a pretty awful breakup (he stole/sold nearly all of my games and threatened to rape me if I didn't leave the apartment), but now I know I made the right call and things are a lot better.
#26
My ex girlfriends mothers wedding was called off because they found the groom's brother dead on a rural road in Manitoba, Canada.He had been missing for 3 weeks. When The groom said he couldn't do it that day the bride lost her mind saying that just because his brother got himself killed(he was adventurous) she shouldn't have to delay the wedding. After about 2 hours of arguing he and I along with his family left. i broke up with her so did he. The groom and I are still good friends to this day.
TL;DR grooms brother died and the Bridezilla and her family were a******s
Lost Penny 1 year ago
I had to re-read this story to make sure they didn't break up with the same person.
#27
We were both fairly young, I was 21 he was 23. We were responsible, self sufficient, we bought a house together. He was my first kiss, and I was head over heels. We got engaged 4 years into the relationship, and then everything started falling apart.
He started to get controlling, no longer wanting me to go out with friends, or even my sister. When it came to me telling him we just couldn't afford a new TV, or some other non-essential, he would pout and with hold love. If I wasn't perfectly happy he wouldn't talk to me.
I was considering breaking it off when he decided that he wanted to try a**l, whether I wanted to or not. The only thing I could think of through the pain and tears was that this was only going to get worse. I was devastated that the person I loved would just keep going while I was begging him to stop.
Breaking off my engagement was the best decision I ever made. I've gained all of my confidence back, and happier than I ever was in that relationship. I'm never settling again, I deserve better.
I heart Boo-BI-es 1 year ago
I'm so sorry that OP had to endure something so sick and evil from someone she loved and thought loved her. It's great to know that she got out of it asap and is now happier than ever before.
#28
So a friend of mine, we'll say Becca was due to get married last year on august 10th. I went to her bridal shower where over and over she gloated how she would be marrying we'll say Mike, in just over a week and how lucky she was and how none of us were as lucky as she was. (yes she is that full of herself) So about 4 days before the wedding she blasts on her facebook about how the wedding has been postponed, and then a few hours later how it is has been postponed indefinitely. Turns out, another former friend of hers had a video of her boyfriend and Mike having sex. Mike found out Becca knew, and got all his stuff and left. About a month later Mike gets into a car accident and claims he has amnesia of all the events, and thought they were married. (in his accident he never hit his head, so the doctors say he is completely bullsh*tting everyone) Becca who is stupid, and Mormon and needs the husband decides to get back with him. She is now about 6 months pregnant. They are not married, and he still claims that he has forgotten everything...including the sex he had with another guy.
Nay Wilson 1 year ago
This one makes me sad. He can’t be who he really is because it’s not ‘acceptable’ to be gay. I feel bad for them both, Becca and Mike
#29
I had to call mine off because the man I wanted to spend the rest of my life with (or so I thought) decided to sit me down the night before and tell me all about the trysts and flings he had been having throughout our relationship together. He said if he doesn't come clean now, he would not be able to live with himself. After the list was done, I was crying my eyes out. He said something along the lines of, "Well, I didn't think you would take it THIS hard." Seriously.
We were going to have a huge wedding, even though I really didn't want a huge one (weird I guess, but I never envisioned my wedding growing up like other little girls), so I had to call tons and tons of people and tell them it was off; listen to them try to console me over the phone, and crying every time I hung it up. He told me he didn't want to call anyone because he was so upset with me calling it off. He didn't want to see me ever again.
That worked, because I found someone who actually loves me, and we have been married for 3.5 years with a beautiful 2.5 year old son. And he has never cheated on me. I never thought I could trust again, but I am still slowly getting over that fear after all these years (It was 12 years ago).
#30
Together 4 years, engaged for 3 months. He thought it would be a good time to tell me that he was attracted to children *in addition* to adult women a few days before the rehearsal. Maybe he thought I'd be too distracted with the planning, maybe he couldn't hold it in any longer, I don't know. *He* didn't talk to me for a few days after that so, confused and f****d up to my core, I told my dad who told me to call it off which I did. After two weeks. He basically disappeared making everyone think he had cold feet and then came back as though it would just be fine if a little weird. It was not pretty.
Aroace tiger (she/they/he) 1 year ago
I hope he didn't do anything illegal and decided to talk to a therapist
#31
Fiance let three marines run a train on her 2 weeks before the wedding. Told me and assured me we could work it out, to which I replied that those guys already "worked it out" enough. Was worth the 10k in unrefundable deposits.
#32
She first off pressured me into proposing. While I was also madly in love her at the time, I was also very young and very stupid. I saved up for a year and bought the ring and did a whole romantic night out. Do it, blahblahblah, she's happy and really starts letting the crazy flow. I dated this girl for 6 years and after I propose she starts letting these little S**t-bits about herself come up casually in conversations so "you couldnt react without making our friends uncomfortable and I know you wouldn't call me out anyway". Basically she turned out to be psycho, manipulative, and a fundie which was stupid to me even as a Christian. When I did break things off I saw her world shatter. Not just because she thought "the devil was possessing you to tell me things things" but I ruined one of the best lies she ever built. So good she even convinced herself that the little awkward boy from highschool wouldn't grow a pair and end things with a manipulative dumb psycho.
Michelle C 1 year ago
As a fellow Christian, this makes me mad! Using one’s faith as a cudgel to control and manipulate others is exactly what Jesus said not to do. I’m glad he got out before he spent his life with the type of person against whom Jesus warned in that respect!
#33
I called off my wedding recently due to a pregnancy that she decided to terminate while I was at work. We weren't engaged as a result of the pregnancy, or pressure from family/friends. We had fallen in love, and moved in together over a 2 year period of time. Then she took a pregnancy test due to a late period, and it was confirmed later that day by a doctor. I got excited, she got worried. Nothing I said seemed to calm her down. About a week into it, she told me she had terminated. Over a steak dinner...
I harbored a lot of resentment toward her for it, though I told her I support her and her decision. Over the ensuing 6 weeks or so, I started (subconsciously) distancing myself from her. While at home I spent all of my time on the computer, playing video games, reading, etc. Then I finally told her that I didn't think I wanted to get married. She was devastated. Came home from work a couple days later and she had taken everything that was hers or shared and left.
That was 3 weeks ago tomorrow.
Panda Kicki 1 year ago
It was the right call. His feelings had changed, best to break up and not doing a charade hurting both in the end.
#34
Getting engaged put so much external pressure on our relationship that we both cracked. It took planning a wedding to realize how much I really didn't want to marry that person.
#35
I realized that she was more in love with getting married than she was with me. I was her Avenue to marriage, she felt that I'd be a loyal husband and a good father. But she didn't care about me more than a friend.
#36
My boyfriend's father joined the navy and left on a ship to avoid his wedding day. His bride-to-be had lied to him about being pregnant to guilt him into marriage. As the big day approached, she admitted she was not pregnant at all. She felt comfortable saying this because her father had ties to the mob and she knew he would be significantly hurt if he left dady's little girl at the altar. He joined the navy to get away and dumped her as he was going to training. He ran into her decades later and she acted like they were old friends. TL;DR: Boyfriend's father joined the navy to avoid his wedding to a mobster's daughter.
#37
My dad was engaged to this girl who came from a very wealthy family. He proposed because she gave him an ultimatum after she tried to make him jealous by flirting with his friends. He was Catholic and his church required them to go to counseling before the wedding. He slowly realized they had absolutely nothing in common and called off the wedding three days before. He was at her parent's house for a wedding shower three days before the ceremony and told her he didn't think they should get married. She didn't take it too well and flipped out and refused to let him leave the room. He slammed the wall with his fist and she stepped aside. My dad went downstairs where her mother and the other ladies were, picked up his hamster (I have no idea why my dad would bring his pet hamster to a wedding shower), told her mom she might need to go upstairs and check on her daughter, and walked out of the house carrying the hamster under his arm.
A few months later he met my mom and they've been married for over 30 years.
#38
A former roommate of mine was dumped 2 weeks before her wedding. Her fiance had moved away for a job a few months before the wedding and in that time he found a new girl. My poor roommate lost most of the deposits and couldn't even return her dress. Then, to add insult to injury she had to cancel the 2 weeks notice she'd already put in at her job because she was supposed to move to where he lived after the wedding.
All's well that ends well though. She moved on and met a wonderful guy. They just got married a few months ago. :)
Abby Palmer 1 year ago (edited)
I'm glad she got her happy ending, but that first guy was a dochebag.
#39
A girl I know did. She was getting married, and right after her bridal shower, she started realizing that she clicked much more with another guy. She called her fiance, hoping for some romantic gesture to assure her she was making the right choice and he replied with something to the effect of "If you have cold feet, that's your problem. I'm not hopping on a plane to put a band-aid on the situation" and realized that this guy wasn't the right guy.
Lakota Wolf (she/her) 1 year ago (edited)
Woah, woah. Her fiancée suddenly wasn't the "right guy"? So the woman wanted her fiancée to make some big romantic gesture to make sure SHE was "making the right choice"? That's disgusting. A partner shouldn't have to make some extravagant romantic gesture/performance to "prove" that they're the "right choice". Either they are or they aren't. If the girl in this story felt she clicked more with some other guy, she needed to grow a pair (metaphorically) and tell her fiancée that. In no way was her fiancée RESPONSIBLE for making some huge gesture to "PROVE" he was the right guy.
#40
I went on my first date at the age of 23. Having never been in a relationship before, I thought everything was going well. About 3 months in, we got pregnant. She told me that she was on the pill and that it was possible that she couldn't even get pregnant. This was a shock to my system, and we separated briefly following the announcement. We got back together though, and really tried to make it work. My daughter was born in August, very near our 1 year anniversary. My daughter is the greatest person in the world and she's done more for me than she'll ever know. I've learned so much through her about responsibility and being an adult.
Shortly after my daughter's birth, her mother began pushing the marriage issue and I saved up to buy a ring. I proposed and for some time it made things better between us. The situation was just too difficult though, we had nothing in common other than our daughter. Before long, she was again being verbally and psychologically abusive to me, but having never been treated like that, I didn't understand what I was doing wrong. I began seeing a therapist which helped me realize that I wasn't in a healthy relationship. Finally after an argument in which she threatened me with physical violence, I knew that things were just too toxic to continue. I definitely looked like the bad guy, but I had to make the best choice for the future of all those involved. The most difficult part was coming to the conclusion that this situation continuing around my daughter would actually be worse for her than us being apart.
TL;DR Knocked up the first girl I ever went out with. Tried to make it work, but too many differences.
Averysleepypanda 1 year ago
Not sure why the birth control thing is mentioned in the begining - comes across to me like it's implying she lied about the ability of getting pregnant. All birth control can fail regardless of proper use
#41
An old friend of mine called off his wedding because he found out she f****d some dude at her Bachelorette party the weekend before. He waited until the day of the wedding to call it off, because he wanted her to have to explain it to her family.. most of whom flew into town for the wedding.
I was one of his groomsmen, so instead of saying his vows, we all took him out onto the town while in the tux's. It was still a pretty depressing night out. And he was pretty tore up about it for months.
#42
Was going to get married in March 2012, and called it off in January of that year. Basically it just came down to a disagreement on what we wanted out of life. I was 23 at the time (would've been 24 at the wedding), she was 27. She wanted kids. Like almost immediately. I told her that we needed to wait on that (I'm still in college, I wanted to get a job and a home and whatnot first), but she was completely unwilling to compromise on it. She demanded that we have kids before she was 30, so within a year or two of the wedding, and there's no way that I would be ready for kids by 25/26, especially as I'm still working on college. This was causing more and more of a divide between us, and I knew that if we had gotten married that either I would've gotten what I wanted and we would've waited for kids and she would've resented me, or she would've gotten what she wanted and we would've had kids, and both I would resent her AND we would have a kid or kids that we were unprepared to take care of.
I still miss her every day, though, and always wonder if I made the right decision.
Lost Penny 1 year ago
Why did they start talking about serious, important things just 2-3 months before the wedding?? One would think it would be something people would discuss BEFORE making any marital plans.
#43
My fiancee started having an affair with her supervisor. I found the conversations when she forgot to log off of Facebook one day. I worked my a*s off for about a month to try to win her back, but eventually gave up. We broke up, she went on a couple of dates with him. He tried to f**k her, and she stopped halfway (she had always been very conservative about sex) because she wasn't ready. He got angry and refused to talk to her ever again. That was about 3 days before I moved out of state. She begged for me to come back. No luck. We were in the planning step (we had only been engaged for about a year, and money was a bit of an issue), so fortunately aside from a few minor things (the ring being the most expensive thing at that point) we hadn't put much money out on it.
Abby Palmer 1 year ago (edited)
At least not a lot of money was lost, unlike most stories here? I'm just trying to see the ok side in this but it's hard...
#44
I got engaged in 2005 and I called off the wedding about 6 months before. We were broke, in our 30s and paying for it ourselves. My fiancée kept pushing me to make the wedding bigger and bigger and inviting more and more people and he really went off the deep end and wouldn't listen to reason that we DID NOT HAVE THE MONEY to do this. But he wanted to impress his father who always thought he was a failure and kept insisting. It really showed me his true colors and how crazy he could be, and I broke off the engagement and I canceled everything.
My fiancée (boyfriend then I guess) and I lived together, we had been together 3 years. We stayed together for another year and a half after I broke off the engagement, but things were never the same and I left him in 2007.
Ken Beattie 1 year ago
Sounds like he should have been spending some money on therapy instead of the wedding :(
#45
I don't think I've seen this one yet: emotional affair.
We were together for seven years, and were getting married in a few months. We'd already bought a house, and started tying our lives together. She was emotionally distant for some time, but I ignored it like a fool in love. Eventually, I noticed she was spending significant time chatting with a guy she met on World of Warcraft. She was also taking phone calls "from a friend" in private. I called her on it, and our wedding was off the next day.
We bought our house during the mortgage bubble, and now I'm stuck with an under-water mortgage on a house that's lost 50% of its value. I also still have the ring - it's been almost five years, and I'm still not sure what to do with it.
#46
Dated a girl for a while that did this. Turns out she was engaged to him but dating me. We were in university and he was at a different school. I found out when he called to say he was going to shoot me. I guess she'd gone home for the weekend, which really meant going to his school and ending things... and telling him about me. He didn't believe that I had no idea because she wouldn't do that on her own.
#47
My best friend was going out with his high school sweet heart for 10 years, they were 25 when they got engaged, they had both been each other's first. This guy did everything for her and she was sweet to him also but she was very flirteous and what not. One day my buddy comes over and tells me that his girlfriend is at a supper with some hockey players from the Tampa Bay Lightning, so I'm like "DUDE, hockey players are known to f**k everything that MOVES, arent you worried?" and he tells me that she is just there to wingwoman one of her friends. So the next day we are all at supper together and jokingly I ask my friends girlfriend "So does Brad Richards have a big d**k?" (my senseless humour was accepted and well appreciated by this group of friends) and she replies nervously with a laugh "Yeah, Willdill, it was HUGE". So we laugh about it and carry on. 3 months later, 1 week before their wedding day, she finally admits to him that she HAD slept with Brad Richards. She told him like this "You know when Willdill asked me about Brad Richards d**k? Well, I wasn't lying, I did sleep with him, I'm so sorry bla bla bla." Turns out after their little hockey player supper, they all went to the hotel and had a dildo fest with 2 other girls and 3 of the players. Needless to say my friend dumped her a*s and now hates hockey with a passion.
Abby Palmer 1 year ago
Well sounds like he got a slapshot to his heartm... I'll see myself out...
#48
I called it off because I realized we weren't ready to make a marriage work. There are a number of skills that a couple **needs** to have before they can really succeed in a relationship that's meant to last a lifetime. These skills are pretty obvious; compromise, forgiveness, sacrifice, and an acceptance of the things you don't like but can never change. Shortly before the wedding I realized that we didn't have those skills. That made me extremely uncomfortable with the prospect of going through with it. And ultimately, I couldn't bring myself to start something that I knew couldn't last forever. The mistake we made was getting engaged before we *knew* we had those skills, before we were ready. We gave ourselves a long engagement with the idea that we'd have time to figure out those skills before the big day finally came. But we didn't realize that it put a timer on our relationship which essentially turned it into a time bomb. When the day came, we were either going to be ready or we were going to have a **very** bad time.
Crouching hippo hidden panda 1 year ago
Props for the self awareness. Most couples only figure that stuff out after the fact
#49
My friend called it off because she realized her fiancé would be happy with anyone who wanted to marry him.
Paul Brown 1 year ago
Yea, I left my first wife after I realized she was in love with the idea of being married and didn't give a damn about me.
#50
You know that bridezilla show? Pretty much was like that. Yeah, this is a 'A friend of mine...' story, sorry. Well this bakery had a thing of not doing wedding cakes because the brides typically go apesh*t over them no matter how perfect they are and demand alterations on the very day of the wedding that have nothing to do with the original description of the cake. My friend's fiance though, she was friends with the owner of the bakery so she decided to make it just to be nice. Part of her gift for the wedding, a free cake. The bride went absolutely APESH*T over the cake. She was screaming and yelling and in tears over this cake. This was the day before, so the friend trying to be nice decided to REMAKE THE CAKE FROM SCRATCH AND GOT ZERO SLEEP THAT NIGHT WORKING ON IT. me, the bride and groom were in the bakery there to pick up the cake the next day and she just got so angry she picked it up and threw the cake over the counter where there were several customers, screaming her lungs out over how her friend ruined her wedding and how awful the cake was. She then turned to the groom and said 'What are we going to do about the wedding now?!' in which the groom responded with: "What wedding?" I wish I had a camera, holy f**k. They were both black and it was a black neighborhood so the store pretty much turned into an episode of maury or jerry springer.
What do you think ?
Rick Seiden 1 year ago (edited)
She called it off on me because I was too self centered and didn't pay enough attention to her. I deserved it, and did some growing up because of it. We reconnected a few years later as friends, and thought about hooking back up, but there was too much baggage in it for either of us. I have no hard feelings about it and I wish her the best. Like I said, I deserved it. (Note: I didn't cheat or physically abuse her in any way. But being self centered and not paying enough attention to someone who loves you is a form of emotional abuse. So she absolutely did the right thing in breaking up with me.)
KrazyChiMama 1 year ago
Dear universe thank you for my wonderful husband of 22 years and counting. I will never take him for granted! Reading all this just reaffirms how lucky I am <3
Binky Melnik 1 year ago
I didn’t have the balls to call off my wedding. 😞 I wish I’d been strong like these people! Most of the guests were coming from the other side of the world (this was when flying was crazy-expensive; if you canceled your flight, you were out the money.) He was (and remains) a TERRIFIC man, but he wasn’t the right man for me I realized it two months before the wedding. My career was going gangbusters; I worked for a huge tech company named after a fruit, and got promotions and raises every time I turned around. He made great money stacking boxes in a grocery store and loved spending the rest of his waking hours fishing. I thought he should aspire to success like mine, but he was happy living the way he did, and that was his goal: to be happy. That frustrated the snot out of me, though NOW I realize he had the right idea! My sister had to hold me up during the ceremony, as I kept fainting. It still galls me that I didn’t suck it up and call it off. Grrr. At least it’s not a horror story!
Doodles1983 1 year ago
We got engaged but wanted a long engagement. My sister’s fiancé cheated on and dumped her. And we got told, “you’re having this wedding so we don’t lose the deposits.” We went along with it for about 2 months until I got terrified and resentful that it was basically all my sister’s choices and not ours. I backed out and we split up. Lo and behold we got back together and married the year we originally had planned on after a long engagement! Unfortunately, we have since separated because life was harsh to us but we are still good friends and in each other’s lives and always will be.
Super Beast 1 year ago (edited)
we started dating when i started college, he was a senior in a different college. we broke up because i couldnt do long distance. when i moved back after graduating he was pursuing a graduate degree, and he was working as an academic assistant. we started dating again. he asked me to marry him. i agreed. i caught his first lie when he told me he got me a present the day before but forgot to bring it with him. he brought the gift a few weeks later and forgot to take out the itemized receipt which was of the day he gave me the gift. this was an unnecessary lie because im not materialistic and i asked him why. he said he didnt have the money at the date. i got suspicious but decided to try to understand. a few months later, a friend of his asked him if he was considering a master's degree after getting his bachelor's. i said i had told me he was getting his doctorate. he said he lied. i realized he just wanted recognition with stuff he thought would make people like him. i am not impressed by money or education. i like good character and he had none.
Super Beast 1 year ago
yeah there seems to be a lack of same sex couple examples. bp doesnt seem to exclude them, but doesnt seem to make an effort to be deliberately inclusive either
Load More Replies... Rick Seiden 1 year ago (edited)
She called it off on me because I was too self centered and didn't pay enough attention to her. I deserved it, and did some growing up because of it. We reconnected a few years later as friends, and thought about hooking back up, but there was too much baggage in it for either of us. I have no hard feelings about it and I wish her the best. Like I said, I deserved it. (Note: I didn't cheat or physically abuse her in any way. But being self centered and not paying enough attention to someone who loves you is a form of emotional abuse. So she absolutely did the right thing in breaking up with me.)
KrazyChiMama 1 year ago
Dear universe thank you for my wonderful husband of 22 years and counting. I will never take him for granted! Reading all this just reaffirms how lucky I am <3
Binky Melnik 1 year ago
I didn’t have the balls to call off my wedding. 😞 I wish I’d been strong like these people! Most of the guests were coming from the other side of the world (this was when flying was crazy-expensive; if you canceled your flight, you were out the money.) He was (and remains) a TERRIFIC man, but he wasn’t the right man for me I realized it two months before the wedding. My career was going gangbusters; I worked for a huge tech company named after a fruit, and got promotions and raises every time I turned around. He made great money stacking boxes in a grocery store and loved spending the rest of his waking hours fishing. I thought he should aspire to success like mine, but he was happy living the way he did, and that was his goal: to be happy. That frustrated the snot out of me, though NOW I realize he had the right idea! My sister had to hold me up during the ceremony, as I kept fainting. It still galls me that I didn’t suck it up and call it off. Grrr. At least it’s not a horror story!
Doodles1983 1 year ago
We got engaged but wanted a long engagement. My sister’s fiancé cheated on and dumped her. And we got told, “you’re having this wedding so we don’t lose the deposits.” We went along with it for about 2 months until I got terrified and resentful that it was basically all my sister’s choices and not ours. I backed out and we split up. Lo and behold we got back together and married the year we originally had planned on after a long engagement! Unfortunately, we have since separated because life was harsh to us but we are still good friends and in each other’s lives and always will be.
Super Beast 1 year ago (edited)
we started dating when i started college, he was a senior in a different college. we broke up because i couldnt do long distance. when i moved back after graduating he was pursuing a graduate degree, and he was working as an academic assistant. we started dating again. he asked me to marry him. i agreed. i caught his first lie when he told me he got me a present the day before but forgot to bring it with him. he brought the gift a few weeks later and forgot to take out the itemized receipt which was of the day he gave me the gift. this was an unnecessary lie because im not materialistic and i asked him why. he said he didnt have the money at the date. i got suspicious but decided to try to understand. a few months later, a friend of his asked him if he was considering a master's degree after getting his bachelor's. i said i had told me he was getting his doctorate. he said he lied. i realized he just wanted recognition with stuff he thought would make people like him. i am not impressed by money or education. i like good character and he had none.
Super Beast 1 year ago
yeah there seems to be a lack of same sex couple examples. bp doesnt seem to exclude them, but doesnt seem to make an effort to be deliberately inclusive either
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