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“Can’t Afford A Lot Of Food”: 35 Times Delusional Bosses Got A Reality Check From Employees
They say money can’t buy happiness. While it’s true, it can still buy you food, clothes, and basic human necessities you need to lead a fulfilling life. A survey from Bankrate revealed that two-thirds of Americans do not expect their finances to improve in 2022, with most of them saying inflation is the barrier to a better money situation. So if your most recent grocery bill made you look twice, you might find comfort in knowing you’re not alone.
When the cost of living increases fast and starts to soar to record heights, people have every right to feel worried. Unusual-Risk’s story on the Anti Work subreddit proves that the struggle is real. You see, their manager carelessly made an inconsiderate comment about their looks, only to find out about the brutal reality of life with a low wage.
Unusual-Risk’s short post quickly went viral and deeply resonated with thousands of users. Many of them chimed in with their own similar experiences in the comments. Below, we have selected some of the most illuminating responses that prove having a job does not mean you're immune to misfortunes.
After the manager made an insensitive comment about this worker’s looks, she quickly learned about the reality of life with a low salary
The story inspired others to share their own experiences
This post may include affiliate links.
#1
I actually have a decent-ish experience with this.
I was working at Aeropostale back in college and I had lost a lot of weight and my boss asked me about it. I had been working there for 3 years and she was my new store manager for maybe 6 months.
Anyways she mentioned that my clothes looked big and that company policy was our clothes had to be in style and well fitting. She asked if I was eating okay and I told her I was only able to afford to eat once a day and the scheduling manager only scheduled me 10 hours a week.
She asked me a few more questions about availability and what not. She doubled my working hours and later after the new year she gave me a 30 cent raise, I think minimum wage was $7.35 or something like that at the time. I was making a bit more but that put me at $8 an hour.
She scheduled me for open before class and she would bring me sack lunches to make sure I had something to eat and let me eat while on the clock.
Makhaila if you ever see this, thank you.
To learn more about how troubles with finances affect our wellbeing, we reached out to Vicky Reynal, a financial therapist and psychotherapist based in the UK. According to her, people experience money stress when they feel pressure "either from facing financial demands that we cannot meet and/or feeling we have little control over our finances."
She told Bored Panda that such stress can cause mental health problems or exacerbate existing ones. Also, it could even turn into anxiety or even depression. "It’s important to note that anyone — regardless of their wealth — might suffer from poor financial wellbeing and worry excessively about their financial situation, or not feel in control of it," Reynal said.
"However, people who have experienced financial losses, struggle with problem debt, or live in poverty are at greater risk to experience serious emotional distress from managing this type of stress."
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#2
I had a similar situation occur with an employer. It ended differently, however.
Backstory: When I was in my early 20s, I was in an abusive marriage and finally left in 2015 after securing a new position at a dental office as a dental assistant. My boss approached me after a few months of employment, as he had noticed that I had lost a lot of weight and sat in my car during the lunch hour. I told him that I couldn’t afford mandated health insurance (at the time, it was ~$300 USD a month for the cheapest marketplace insurance I could find) AND groceries on my salary. He didn’t own the practice at the time, but he still spoke to the owner and got me enough of a raise to cover my health insurance, and he brought me meals from his own home to eat for dinner weekly (I’m pretty sure his wife was mixing in vegetables to make sure I was eating well, too). If I ever worked after 5 PM, I was always paid well and he’d buy food or bring Oreos for me to take home. He also convinced me to go back to school for my Bachelor’s degree and wrote me a wonderful letter of recommendation for my program.
It’s been years but it was probably one of the only times any employer has treated me like a human being, especially in that industry.
#3
Spouse and I were working part-time in a poor area with a resort town nearby. I worked in a nice restaurant there and would bring food home, especially this fancy bread they had flown in from California & people would just leave in its basket to get thrown out. So I’d save any that clearly hadn’t been touched and take it home.
My manager caught me doing this (it wasn’t against the rules, just a little odd) and asked me seriously if we had enough to eat. I insisted that we did, which was mostly true, and she nodded and never said anything about it again.
But two weeks later, another server, about 20 years older than me with a good dual income, told me she’d won a radio contest and got $100 gift cards for “groceries for a year.” She didn’t really need them, she said, and gave me like $800 in grocery cards over the next few months. It genuinely helped us out and we were so psyched about our luck & her generosity.
I literally made the connection this month, about 15 years later, that most likely the manager/the restaurant (the chef was a great guy too) sprang for those gift cards and “tricked” us into accepting them, with the older server’s help. Really good people do exist, you just don’t always get to see them behind the scenes or recognize them right away.
ETA: Thank you for the award! I understand the point about how a raise would have been more helpful, but gift cards were better for my specific situation - likely more $$ total, given my very part-time hours, and I could buy groceries without feeling guilt over not paying more on my student loans. We made OK money for the area, but gas prices were sky high and we both had student debt.
The owner came up from being a busser (like I was) to a chef and he was a good guy. The manager was tough as nails and had her reputation as a hardass to maintain :)
Plus they kept everyone on even during winters when it was utterly dead … not something a lot of resort town restaurants were willing or able to do in 2008-2009.
LuckyNumbers 2 years ago
Aaaah the balm i didn't know I needed after the "horrible people" post.
"As stated by the WHO, studies over 20 years have proven over and over the link between poverty and mental health issues. Common mental disorders are almost twice as frequent among the poor as among the rich (depression is almost twice as likely amongst the low-income groups of the population)," Reynal explained.
The financial therapist mentioned that money stress can have a damaging effect on both mental and physical health. "It is common knowledge that stress can cause us to feel tired, disrupt our sleep pattern, may cause headaches, stomach aches — the list goes on. Also, since our body produces hormones such as cortisol and adrenaline when we are stressed (which is an evolutionary response to threat), this overproduction may have detrimental long-term health effects."
Reynal added that our bodies might show signs of stress about money before our mind acknowledges it consciously. "It is actually the physical signs of stress that may alert us to an emotional struggle: loss of appetite, insomnia, muscle tension, constipation, headaches can be clues that we might need to attend to our thoughts and feelings."
#4
At my old job I used to eat ramen for lunch everyday. Accounting, HR, my manager all started to notice and make comments about it. So finally one day I said "you guys all know how much I make, right?" And they finally shut up.
No one eats ramen everyday because they like it or think it's a healthy choice.
#5
When my family and I looked at old photos of me my sister asked "you were so skinny, what happened?" I reminded her that I was homeless when those pictures were taken.
Some silence is more golden than others.
#6
When I was working as a gardener, I was putting in a lot of hours as the scale of the operation was not small. When I sent my final invoice to my employer, breaking down my hours and pay, he was beside himself.
“This isn’t correct, it says here you only make $x an hour. NO one works for that little.”
“That number is what rate you are paying me for the hours that were required to do the work.”
He was just silent.
I suggested that if he liked my work he could give me a raise.
Guess what he didn’t do?
The rising cost of living creates worries that drag consumer confidence. Seeing prices getting higher at every turn might make people believe their finances will only get worse. However, there are some steps we can take if we want to control money stress.
Reynal came up with an acronym to remember six things we can do to help ourselves manage the thoughts and emotions we get from financial stress — CALMER.
Change what is within your control. Many of us have the opportunity to change our financial reality by adjusting things we have power over. The financial therapist mentioned some practical things like "budgeting your expenses, or creating an emergency fund as a safety net may go a long way in helping you feel that you have more control over the uncertainties ahead."
#7
Hah, I worked a job that we would usually pick up the roughest individuals available anyone has ever seen. It was super common that they wouldnt really look human again until they got their first paycheck.
On their first night, id have the cook make some food. Under the table style and feed the new hire a good meal. The first one for them in I could only imagine how long.
I did it because I know what its like to be at rock bottom, working a job for two weeks before even getting some cash to get a decent meal in my belly. That sucks.
Not to write a novel, im always reminded about the accounts of folks in Russia just after WW2. They describe being so hungry that they cant even think right and I sternly believe that the first steps of liberating the people is to feed them so they can at least think for themselves without being blinded by hunger or worry about where the next meal is coming from.
Addition- I wish I could give these updoots to the cook that actually made the food for these dudes. She was really cool and it wouldnt have been possible without her.
#8
Had a boss say “damn slim you need to pack on some pounds if you’re gonna work for me” I looked that f*cker dead in the eye and replied “give me a raise and I’ll eat more ya fat f*ck” I was fired the next week.
Daniel Mattock 2 years ago
Yeah calling your boss a fat f**k is not the best idea. Even if it’s true
#9
Had to have a conversation with my last manager when my coworker was biking several miles to work and was donating plasma to afford groceries, then her protein levels were too low to be able to donate. The manger and company did not give a single f*ck and sent us all links for budgeting training. The most sickening part is that it was an insanely profitable business that became even more profitable during Covid.
"There are actions you could think about in terms of creating extra sources of income, cutting some unnecessary expenses, re-evaluating your service providers to see if you can get better deals. Even better practices around food shopping or cooking instead of takeaway can have a positive impact on the bank balance. Check also to see if you qualify for any financial support schemes."
To manage money stress, you should also try to Accept the things that aren’t in your control. "It is not easy, but to address a lot of the over-thinking and unproductive worrying that can take over our thoughts, we have to accept that certain things are not under our control. The challenge is then to let those things go and focus our attention on what we can do to help our financial situation and our mental wellbeing."
#10
Reminds me of when my manager at the last restaurant asked me why I didn’t just make lunch and take a break if I was so hungry. I looked him in his stupid little face and said “you and I both know I can’t afford to eat here” And that was the end of that conversation.
De Gueb 2 years ago
If you work at a restaurant and don't get fed it's sick. Not saying they give you the expensive food but some meat, carbs and veggies surly!! All the places I've worked at we had food included within reason. I worked at a club and the owner had 3 hotels, we had a free pass to eat in the staff dinner any time. There food from 06h00 till 01h00 so we could go any time.
#11
I remember being super broke when I was 19 and I’d do some lightweight product testing for extra cash. I lived near a lot of medical testing facilities in Philadelphia. I walked over to Glaxo smith Klein to sign up for whatever they got. They weighed me and turned me away cus I was under weight. The folks there looked at me really concerned and sent me away with some granola bars and a cranberry juice. I didn’t really think about before that.
Lovin' Life 2 years ago
It's sad when people have to do such things just to eat. Foos should never be a luxury.
#12
Something similar happened to me one summer when I was working at an opera company. I blacked out in the middle of work. Nobody came to check on me. Then I heard them chuckling and they walked over to me saying "maybe if you didn't only eat Ramen and mac and cheese for every meal this wouldn't happen". As they left for lunch and I was expected to stay and work through my meal. Like... are you kidding me....
Reynal also urges you to remember to Look after yourself and don't let your mental and physical health deteriorate:
- Tune into your body and spot the signs of stress
- If you have ideas of activities that make you feel happy, try to engage more in these
- Avoid unhealthy habits
- Practice things like yoga, meditation, mindfulness — you won’t know if these work for you until you have tried them
- Exercise — daily exercise has been proven to have physical and mental health benefits
- Don’t isolate yourself — keep connections with others alive
#13
Let me see check my note cards here...
"Have you tried cutting out Starbucks?"
#14
The owner of the restaurant I work for (who is also the Wife of the Mayor) found out I was living with my wife in a tiny 1 bedroom suite.
She asked me why, and said she thought I was living in a pretty nice building. I told her straight to her face "you've seen my paychecks"
#15
The best was the time my boss asked why I was so stressed, and I explained my expenses were more than he paid me, and with some repairs needed I was not sure how to make my ends meet, worse than usual. Man looked me in the eyes, and offered to be a reference for a "weekend job", since he always gave me the same days off, so it would be "easy" to find one. He knew I was four months into searching for a job that would hire me for just those days. I then got a bootstraps lecture about how I "didn't know poor". Man was two years older than me, had 1/2 my expenses, earned more, and was part of a DINK household. I was relying on foodbanks
The next thing in the acronym is Money time. "When money worries become hard to manage, I have seen people adopt one of two coping mechanisms: avoiding the subject altogether or over-thinking. Neither are helpful," Reynal explained.
If you find yourself on either end of this spectrum, she advised you to "set out a specific time when you are going to attend to your finances. It will free up some space in the mind of the anxious balance-checker and it will encourage the avoiders to face the reality of their situation so they can be in a better place to address it."
Suffering in silence can be harmful, so you should Express your worries out loud. "Talking about your concerns can go a long way. Look for a trusted other who you have found supportive in the past," Reynal said. "You might find your worries are shared by others and that you get a sense of relief and release by talking about them."
#16
A higher up at a previous job came down to the bullpen of entry level workers to talk and ended up talking about how his new BMW wasn't as good as his previous one. I waited a beat and said, "I ate three spoonfuls of peanut butter for dinner last night."
I was eventually fired from that job.
#17
My boss asked me once if I was exercising a lot to lose weight - I answered him "No, it's just stress and poverty."
He just replied "Keep it up! You're looking good."
#18
I wore the same clothes to work twice in a row once(I change into my work clothes at work) and my boss asked with a snicker if laundry is too expensive. It is. Pay me more.
The last thing to remember from this list — Reality check. "Sometimes stress can be exacerbated when we create unrealistic (or low probability) scenarios in our minds that cause us further worry. It’s called catastrophizing, and it is unhelpful. It’s worth asking yourself what is the likelihood of the scenario in your mind you are so scared about?"
After all, every single one of us wants to feel safe in our everyday lives — it's a basic human need. "Our safety being at risk can be traumatizing," Reynal added. "A life that feels more like survival than existence can bring people to a dark place in their minds, to places of stuck-ness and hopelessness." So if you ever notice that the world is becoming a bit much for you, just remember Reynal's acronym CALMER and try to flip your situation around.
#19
I’ve had to start only eating one meal a day, maybe small snacks in between. I only have snacks for the first few days or week after my food bank run though. Last time the lady was really nice, we get to pick one cracker and one cookie, and since she couldn’t decide if teddy grahams were cookies or crackers I got to take two bags. So whoever donated like a dozen bags of teddy grahams… thank you
MagentaBlu 2 years ago (edited)
Since lockdown we can only afford one meal a day. Mostly rice, bone soup with carrots and cabage and more rice. Hot coffee or tea twice a week tops. Without sugar. One 30 oz loaf of bread each day. An ocassional apple or banana. I'm always hungry, but the only meal we eat daily is not that big, and somehow I managed to gain more than 30 pounds and do not know why. Neither know how to loose all that weight since I'm only bearily eating one meal a day... seems I really would have to starve for real if I want to be on shape. It doasn' t have any sense at all
#20
I confessed once that the stress of my toxic a** work environment made me literally vomit. My boss asked me why I kept coming in. He was shocked when I said I had bills to pay
#21
When I was a smoker, I would buy a pack to replace food because killing my appetite with cigarettes was less expensive than eating.
Sheila Stamey 2 years ago
It's why I quit fifteen years ago. Geez like.. Now that I'm thinking about it... exactly fifteen almost. Thanks Danny for the help. I know y'all don't know who that is but God sent me a person who helped me in many ways. I lost him in January. He helped me kick a fierce smoking habit. Miss you buddy ...
#22
My husband and I used to say this about vacations. “You should take a vacation!” “I don’t make enough to take a vacation anywhere.”
#23
Feeling that. One of my managers recently discovered I don't eat breakfast. He asked why and I was like "because I can only afford to eat a package of sidekicks once a day and I find it better to eat just before bed so I'm not hungry the next day"
#24
I used to work at an ad agency that handled some luxury brands. We had a client who had some ridiculously expensive candles, like small candles going for $70 US and its not one of the big 3 wick ones.
In the middle of the meeting the client asks me if i ever bought a candle from their store. I told them i would once my boss (who was present at the meeting) would pay me more as i cant afford to put $70 on a candle.
Needless to say my boss was not happy and i got called in for a meeting after, with him telling me i should be saying this to the client. I told him i wont lie about being able to afford those candles.
#25
When I was unemployed for a while I realized that it wasn't the lack of money that was keeping me skinny, it was the lack of free time. I would barely eat and exercise because I was so busy working. Then when I did have free time I wanted to spend it on something fun and not the essentials to live, even though it's not very logical. I mostly would just snack to get by until dinner when I could actually make something. Meanwhile while unemployed I gained about 20 pounds of muscle because I had enough time to cook and exercise.
It's crazy how much time jobs take from you, and how it affects all of the rest of your time as well, even if you're off the clock.
#26
I lost +10 kg in the last year and a half. Why? Retail + 10.000 steps in less than 6h in the store. No breaks, + 15 minutes of commuting from railroad station to the place.
And my family thought I was addicted to cocaine.
No, I’m just being exploted
#27
Once I got complimented on a top I was wearing that I got for $2 at goodwill. It was the CEO’s assistant and I said “thanks I shop at goodwill and found this for $2.00.” The conversation ended quickly and awkwardly.
#28
Earlier this year, someone I was working with sent me a link to a plasma donation center they were going to. They were doing bonuses for new people so you got a bunch of extra money for donating, like over $1k for eight donations. I didn't meet the weight requirement for donating and I really needed the money. :(
#29
Reminds me of a similar exchange I had years back with a coworker:
Her: "I hate the tax season. I always have to send the government money. I've tried changing my allowances but I always owe some money. What about you, do you have to pay back taxes when you file?"
Me: "No, I usually get a check back. Most of the time it's a couple hundred dollars."
H: "Wow, how do you manage that?"
M: "It because I'm paid at just barely above the poverty level. So I'll get back most of the federal income taxes that I pay during the year."
And for those of you wondering, Yes I did try increasing my allowances one year so that I kept more of my money but then I ended up owing the IRS something like $200 when I filed for that year. So I changed it back to my usual allowance.
Kimi Tomminello 2 years ago
The American tax system is so freaking messed up it's not even funny
#30
I also had a manager frequently comment on my low weight (called me "twiggy") when I worked retail. I was skipping meals because college isn't going to pay for itself in the US.
#31
....... I just realised my shy coworker who doesnt take a lunchbrake because she's "not hungry on lunchtime" and "like this I can come home earlier" my not just have a small appetite
Snorkeldorf 2 years ago
Did this many years ago. Started a new job with great co workers who immediately invited me to go out to lunch with them. I had to decline. Fortunately they kept asking periodically and one day I was able to say "Yes! I'd love to go". We talked and they didn't understand why I wouldn't go out with them before and why I just sat at my desk drinking coffee during lunch hour. I was finally able to explain I had to wait until I got my first paycheck to be able to go and eat lunch. They felt terrible and said I should have told them, they would have bought me lunch. They were wonderful, wonderful people.
#32
Yup, I work ft and make what is considered a "decent" wage. And the only way we eat is the once a week trips to the food bank.
#33
I once had a boss asking me why I wasn’t considering homeownership. I wanted to yell “you know what you pay me, right?”
Jo Choto 2 years ago
I remember when a woman from my head office told me I really should go to her hairdresser in New York (we lived near Washington DC, so we're talking about a plane or many hours of driving) because they were so good and under $500. I looked at her googly-eyed for a good while and then said, "Jaynie, I'm a single parent, and I work two part-time jobs to supplement this one so we can survive. I do my own hair for a reason." She actually had the nerve to look surprised, despite being the one that sent out the paychecks.
#34
I remember one of my bosses being surprised to find out I had a second job (this was decades ago). Like yeah, you don't pay me enough to afford rent and a car payment.
#35
Ok so I’m a professional career Nanny - been working with a family for about 3 years. They have never given me a raise. tell me why I directly said to my employer (I’ve now gone part time with them) ok … for reference Mom is a Nurse Practitioner at a BIG hospital dad is an orthopedic dentist with his own practice - so the income is there (they’ve had round the clock help w their kids since youngest was born) anyways …. The other day I asked her for like three extra hours for the week so I could make rent. in passing said , you know I’m working 2 part times now … 48 hours a week, and it’s still coming down to me having to pay rent or buy groceries for the week. She said “can I make your dinner once a week?!” I literally did not even respond to the message. Wtf lmfao . For reference they pay me $19 an hour . I have been with their family for years. Rich people are so blind.
What do you think ?
Mr. Jones 2 years ago
When I got out of the Army in 91, I moved to Chicago. I got out early due to budget cuts after Desert Storm and only had a month to figure out my next move. I was a small town boy, but I wanted to live in a big city. I was not prepared for how expensive it would be. I got a job working in a college service center and my boss was a friend of my Aunt. He was a great guy to work for. I was so poor. I always managed to save enough money for rent and public transportation. Food was a luxury. I could make a box of mac n cheese last three days. I never ate lunch because I never wanted him to see how poor I was. He had no control over my low pay. Out of the blue he started sharing his overpacked lunch with me. Said his wife always made too much food. I didn't figure out until after I left that he was feeding me because he knew I was that poor. He started bringing me left overs and I found out those were meals made specifically for me by his wife. They saw me as one of their kids. Angels.
Kanzi 2 years ago
Can we all agree that commenting on someone's weight or eating habits is off limits unless you have plans to help with whatever their situations may be. Making the person aware that you can see or tell something is wrong is just adding more pain to their already bad situation.
BakedKahuna 2 years ago
I feel so sorry for people in the US. Working multiple jobs or having to go to the food bank with a full time job doesn't sound healthy. I guess life isn't too easy either in Germany for those who earn minimum wage. But at least there is the possibility to get some extra money from the government if you drop below a certain income. AND we don't have to start into life with ridiculously high college debts.
CL Rowan 2 years ago
The expectation is to pull ourselves up from our bootstraps. What do you do when those straps were eaten?
Load More Replies... Mr. Jones 2 years ago
When I got out of the Army in 91, I moved to Chicago. I got out early due to budget cuts after Desert Storm and only had a month to figure out my next move. I was a small town boy, but I wanted to live in a big city. I was not prepared for how expensive it would be. I got a job working in a college service center and my boss was a friend of my Aunt. He was a great guy to work for. I was so poor. I always managed to save enough money for rent and public transportation. Food was a luxury. I could make a box of mac n cheese last three days. I never ate lunch because I never wanted him to see how poor I was. He had no control over my low pay. Out of the blue he started sharing his overpacked lunch with me. Said his wife always made too much food. I didn't figure out until after I left that he was feeding me because he knew I was that poor. He started bringing me left overs and I found out those were meals made specifically for me by his wife. They saw me as one of their kids. Angels.
Kanzi 2 years ago
Can we all agree that commenting on someone's weight or eating habits is off limits unless you have plans to help with whatever their situations may be. Making the person aware that you can see or tell something is wrong is just adding more pain to their already bad situation.
BakedKahuna 2 years ago
I feel so sorry for people in the US. Working multiple jobs or having to go to the food bank with a full time job doesn't sound healthy. I guess life isn't too easy either in Germany for those who earn minimum wage. But at least there is the possibility to get some extra money from the government if you drop below a certain income. AND we don't have to start into life with ridiculously high college debts.
CL Rowan 2 years ago
The expectation is to pull ourselves up from our bootstraps. What do you do when those straps were eaten?
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