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Guy Found Out That Dad Is Planning To Pay For His Brother’s Wedding, Said He Won’t Talk To Him Because He Refused To Fund His
Society seems to sternly advise young adults to wait to marry until they’ve finished their education, kickstarted their career and had a couple of carefree adventures that helped them connect with their true, authentic selves.
It’s believed that tying the knot young makes a couple prone to a rocky journey and is essentially bound to end in divorce – however, many folks seem to argue that age has nothing to do with the stability of one’s marriage.
Whether a couple decides to legalize their relationship young or not is up to them, yet the question of maturity still stands, as sometimes, you can find yourself looking back at your parents’ warnings when it’s already too late.
More info: Reddit
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Family conflicts are inevitable – however, it’s crucial to be certain in your opinions
Image source: Wonderlane (not the actual photo)
“AITA for paying for my son’s wedding when I made my other son elope?” – this online user turned to one of Reddit’s most popular communities to seek advice from the members and, perhaps, find out whether he’s indeed the bad guy in this situation. The post has managed to receive 11K upvotes and over 2K worth of comments debating the man’s decision.
Father refused to fund son’s wedding because he didn’t approve of it, got accused of showing favoritism because he decided to pay for his other son’s
Image source: throwawaywedding267
The man began his post by revealing that he has two sons: a 38-year-old, Carl, and a 36-year-old, Jacob. Jacob got married pretty young when he was only 18; he asked his father to pay for his wedding, but the man refused because he didn’t approve of his marriage.
Image source: throwawaywedding267
The man mentioned that there were a few reasons why he was so against this relationship; he thought that Jacob was too young and he wasn’t a fan of his fiancée because they’d only been together for a year. Jacob didn’t have enough money to cover the expenses, so the couple had to elope.
A year later, the spouses had their first boy, and a year after that, they gave birth to a girl who they named Jade. Sadly, the partners decided they couldn’t handle two children and told their families that they were giving the girl up for adoption.
The author was extremely angry with his son, as he had warned him that they were too young to have a kid, let alone two kids – however, he did convince his offspring to let him and his mother adopt Jade.
Image source: throwawaywedding267
The author and his family moved away to another city and Carl, the oldest son, also tagged along, leaving them in low contact with Jacob.
It was also revealed that despite the OP adopting Jade, Carl was the one who raised her and the girl considers him her father.
Moreover, a year ago, Carl got engaged to his fiancée, Maya. According to the author, she’s an amazing woman and is like a mother to Jade.
Image source: throwawaywedding267
Once Jade found out that she was adopted, she had a very hard time; however, a few weeks ago, the family went back to the city where Jacob lives, as the girl was ready to meet her aunt and uncle.
Carl and Maya are getting married soon and to thank them for being such amazing parents to Jade, the OP told the couple that he’ll cover all their wedding expenses.
When everyone was at Jacob’s place, he wondered about his brother’s wedding and, without a second thought, Carl told his sibling that their father will be paying for everything, which infuriated Jacob and his wife.
The spouses argued that it’s not fair for the man to be paying for his older son’s wedding when he made them elope; Jacob’s now not talking to his father unless he “makes it up to him”.
Image source: throwawaywedding267
Image source: mahalie stackpole (not the actual photo)
The OP then edited the post to clarify some bits and pieces. He said that Carl didn’t raise Jade all alone. The family lived in the same home and co-parented, but he was eager to be her dad. Jade has been calling him “dad” from the moment she started talking – however, the author was responsible for all the financial aspects.
When Jacob brought up the adoption, the family offered their help, though the spouses didn’t accept, and the reason why the OP never mentioned his grandson is simply that he had no part in this situation.
Fellow Reddit users shared their thoughts regarding this uneasy event
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What do you think ?
Geoff 2 years ago
YTA.... not because you chose not to fund his wedding, but because you basically decided to pick the winner between your two children, showering one with emotional and financial support, while largely washing your hands of the other. If it was an issue of substance abuse or criminal behaviour, I could understand using "tough love", but this isn't that. You simply decided you disagreed with your son's choices and cut him off. My sister made some bad choices in her youth, and if you were her father she would have likely ended up on welfare, but because my parents raised her she was given love and support and assistance when she needed it... and now she has raised 4 wonderful kids and works as a teacher for special needs children. You don't take away love over a difference of opinion. YTA.
Kiri 2 years ago
In my opinion NTA , I wouldn’t pay for a wedding that didn’t look like it wasn’t going to work out. Also don’t have kids just to have kids. In my opinion Jacob seems to be the one playing favorite. The Op said that the didn’t want jade so they could focus on their son. You should be happy that your own child got an amazing family. Beside that Carl took in and raised a child that wasn’t it’s own. Raising a child is an easy 123 and for him to do that I would definitely pay for his wedding.
Geoff 2 years ago
YTA.... not because you chose not to fund his wedding, but because you basically decided to pick the winner between your two children, showering one with emotional and financial support, while largely washing your hands of the other. If it was an issue of substance abuse or criminal behaviour, I could understand using "tough love", but this isn't that. You simply decided you disagreed with your son's choices and cut him off. My sister made some bad choices in her youth, and if you were her father she would have likely ended up on welfare, but because my parents raised her she was given love and support and assistance when she needed it... and now she has raised 4 wonderful kids and works as a teacher for special needs children. You don't take away love over a difference of opinion. YTA.
Kiri 2 years ago
In my opinion NTA , I wouldn’t pay for a wedding that didn’t look like it wasn’t going to work out. Also don’t have kids just to have kids. In my opinion Jacob seems to be the one playing favorite. The Op said that the didn’t want jade so they could focus on their son. You should be happy that your own child got an amazing family. Beside that Carl took in and raised a child that wasn’t it’s own. Raising a child is an easy 123 and for him to do that I would definitely pay for his wedding.
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