Grieving mother says no. End of discussion.

Stepdaughter: "She's dead she's not gonna use it anymore right?"

How exactly is wanting to wear something after changing everything about it "trying to get close to you"?

I would have it professionally wrapped and store it in a place that husband and stepdaughter can't find it. They are both totally unreasonable here. They don't know how devastated you are. Stepdaughter wanting to change it is out of the question. NTA

NTA. Leave him, tell the DIL to fuc* off and find some common decency in her being. No one should ever ask, nevermind DEMAND, that you give away the sentimental items of your deceased child. Both your husband and his daughter are horrible people who will never respect you, run, NOW.

I should stop seeing these posts. It is seriously making me lose my mind over these obnoxious people that people have to like.. deal with.

NTA. Sorry for your loss. A stepdaughter is out of order. So is the husband. If it would have been his daughter dying he wouldn't even entertain your daughter's requests. You can bond over coffee, cake, walks, shopping. You do not bond through requesting and offering money to destroy a wedding dress of a dead bride. Why would she want to wear it? It has a dark aura and is valuable to mum. Stepdaughter is so out of touch that I'm thinking selfish, no empathy, brat... I'd be deeply offended if my husband would not support me in a situation like this. Is he really husband? I'm sorry love is blind, and children come always first but this is outrageous and selfish behaviour from both of them. Stepdaughter and dad feelings outweigh your grieve. Grounds for extended solo holiday, maybe love isn't everything and you better off without them. I would leave the dress as it is, wouldn't attend a wedding of this brat, and any bonding would be off the table until adulthood.

Why do so many people feel entitled to other people's stuff? It seems like most of the family arguments I hear about really boil down to: one person has something, family member thinks they're entitled to take, borrow, or control it, and they throw a tantrum when they don't get their way.

I can NOT believe your step daughter had the audacity to even ask to wear the dress, let alone to get obnoxious about your response. Extremely disrespectful! And then for your husband to side with her was shocking. What a spoiled brat. This would take me a while to get over. You are completely right to be sensitive about this dress, and anyone who doesn’t understand that is heartless. I hope this hurt will soften with time, but I would cautious with heart when it comes to this manipulative girl. She seems to have her Dad exactly where she wants him. I hope this doesn’t end up coming between you.

You are NOT required to love your stepdaughter at all and I suspect she's trying to save herself money. That dress should be carefully preserved or made into a keepsake quilt for you. I am so very sorry for your loss. ❤️

It sounds to me like stepdaughter is thinking "free dress." Put it in storage ASAP. And maybe consult a lawyer about annulment or divorce, whichever is appropriate after a marriage of four months plus change.

Any sane person would be creeped out by the idea of wearing a wedding dress whose previous owner died days before her wedding. SHe's not just insensitive, she's really messed up in her head.

Cry baby go get your own dress. Her daughter is DEAD. Have some f*****g respect. I'd leave that family quick fast and in a hurry. 3 months gone, charge it to the game. Her daughter is probably looking at her mother with a smile on her face for protecting her dress<3

I can't even begin to wrap my head around this situation. You are so far from bta. I'm shocked that your husband doesn't have your back. His job is to protect you, love you and cherish you! He was aware that his daughters attitude is causing you pain. He didn't buy this dress, neither one of them have memories tied to it. You do! The audacity of apparently an extremely spoiled CHILD, throwing a temper tantrum! And her father encouraging her behavior is so wrong. I would LOVE to be able to sit down for a little heart to heart with them both. My heart breaks for you, losing your daughter, then realizing your stepdaughter is a spoiled brat, THEN realizing your husband's reaction is way beyond questionable. God bless you, because you're a saint.

I would have read my "husband" the riot act in front of his entitled kid,gotten up and walked out. I wouldn't even address his idiot daughter. You lost your daughter and nobody has a right to try to force you or even ask you for your daughters things,even to borrow them.I don't understand how she even had the nerve to ask much less almost demand to use something with so much meaning. From what I gather they either didn't know your daughter or didn't know her well. That makes this even worse. Honestly I would be revaluating my marriage.I wonder how he would feel if his little princess was the one who died way to young,right before her wedding. If he was a good father he would be able to walk a mile in your shoes and completely understand what you are going through and told his daughter she was out of line and needed to learn some empathy.

NTA, it's yours, you said no. It doesn't have to make sense to anyone else.

I am sorry for your loss I am surprised that they insisted they should borrow it and MAKE CHANGES to the dress. From what I read, it sounded like you were willing to consider her borrowing It until she said she was going to make changes to it. That to me is incredibly insensitive. If she had asked to where the wedding dress in honor of your daughter, she should have been willing to wear it as is and not wanted to change it to Make it her own. I do agree with others. Take the dress too a specialized dry cleaners who can pack the dress carefully in a manner that will preserve it. And then put it someplace where they can't find it.

It seems weird that stepdaughter not only asked for dress, but also kept insisting. I mean, would you ask to wear dress meant for someone who died? If she like it so much, she can always buy something similar.

The living nerves of her is unbelievable 🤦🏼‍♀️ And on top of it all she said she’s going to change a few things wow. Well I’d be making a few changes of my own starting with her getting out my house and taking her father with her. How dare he side with her. Omg that’s it he’s paying for the wedding and trying to save a few bucks. 🤦🏼‍♀️ That’s ok just get it all in the divorce. He’s showing his hand and I’d slam it in the door

NTA, i am disgusted with the stepdaughter and your husband. As a mother myself, i would want to keep that precious wed dress of my beloved daughter and only when i am ready, i will let it go.... no one should push me on this.

Wow just wow! I have no words. Your NTA but husband and step daughter are. She has no right to ask for the dress. She seems like a spoiled brat. Like other people have said NO means NO and that should be final without any guilt trips. Like others have suggested move the dress, out of sight, out of mind. Good luck with everything and I'm terribly sorry for the loss of your biological daughter you and your family are in my thoughts and prayers.

I'm curious how long OP had been with her new husband. The level of disrespect has me thinking he's only along for the ride. I also feel that this father daughter duo sound like con artist. She needs to drop both. For her own mental health and safety.

NTA! If it was a perfect fit in both style and size, maybe it would be a tribute… but she is asking to turn it into her own!! Maybe thinking of saving money? But the alterations could easily add up to more than starting afresh.

I might feel differently if it was a younger sister, another daughter. But that entitled twat barely knew the girl that died, if at all. Mom is 1 million percent right in this one. No means no and if her husband REALLY loved her, he'd have supported her.

You're completely within your rights to decline the use of the dress to your step daughter. Your husband should be by your side on the matter and not hers. She clearly has mo eyes for a dress so she should buy one of her own. I completely understand where you're coming from as I lost a son and kept a special outfit of his. I would never allow someone else wear it as it was his. If they continue to pressure you I would kick him out of the home and threaten a divorce. If he can't respect your wishes then he doesn't respect you. Ask your daughter's would have been husband if he can temporarily mind the dress at his until your step daughter has her wedding. Stay strong hun!

I don't know why people can't understand the word no. That dress is very sentimental, especially due to the fact that the daughter put a lot of work into it and never got to wear it. The fact that the stepdaughter even has the audacity to continue asking and that your husband is taking her side too is ridiculous. It might be different if she just wanted to wear it but not change anything about it, and even that is pushing it. I wouldn't keep the dress in your house anymore due to the fact that they both keep pushing for it because you might just find the dress gone missing.

Shame on your husband for not backing you up. It seems obvious, though, how step daughter got so entitled!

Step daughter showed disrespect from the start of that conversation.How dare she to ask to wear"that" dress...... She should have had more respect for you than to ask this...She must be a VERY SPOILED person..And the audacity of the husband to take sides ,makes my blood boil !!!!! Lady ,you need to start divorce proceedings immediately for you have entered into a LOSING BATTLE ....How dare him ask this of you ..Shows lack of feelings for your extreme loss and lack of common courtesy......No Questions Asked .....

She shouldn't even have asked to begin with. That was wrong and disrespectful from the beginning. Everything else just piles on that and just makes it worse.

I agree with you 💯 I would definitely move it, when your ready take to a wedding dress dry cleaner and they will but it in a bag then a box! Rip so sorry for your loss.

Perhaps a more effective way of rejecting her is to tell her that the wedding dress might have brought misfortune to her daughter, and she didn't want it to jinx the stepdaughter or the subsequent marriage

Why do people automatically assume they are ever, for any reason, entitled to someone else's things? People need to stop being so hung up on themselves thinking they're special or something. Mother said no multiple times, even to her new husband, who I'm guessing does nothing but cater to his daughters whims. Woman needs to hide that dress and get her marriage annulled if that's still even possible or just go full divorce with the new husband and send him packing back to his brat.

I could see the stepdaughter’s request as reasonable IF she and the daughter were close and maybe she wanted to wear the dress to feel like the daughter was still with her, but it doesn’t sound like they even knew each other. So why would she want it—as an inexpensive way to have a dress? Too damn bad. Mom doesn’t feel right about it, go buy your own dress! And the fact that Mom’s husband is siding with his daughter instead of respecting grieving mom’s wishes? HE is the biggest a-hole in all of this.

Sorry for your loss. I can not believe how selfish your step daughter is. Also your husband. I would not trust either one of them now. Find an storage that is environment controlled. Make sure that only you are allowed in. Put that WEDDING DRESS and other important items into it. Obviously your husband and stepdaughter DO NOT CARE OF YOUR FEELINGS. Set up the storage so you can go there when you want and NEVER DISCLOSE TO YOUR HUSBAND AND STEPDAUGHTER WHERE IT IS. I suggest moving you most important belongs out when they are not at home. They never need to know. If I were you, open a checking account with only your name, do not order checks and just use atm card to pay storage AND ADD EXTRA MONEY TO IT EVERY MONTH. JUST IN CASE. With a Husband not caring about your grief for your daughter, OBVIOUSLY, there are other issues. File taxes separately, set up your own personal stuff. Protect your SELF. Meet privately with a lawyer and find out how and what you can do. Many woman wish h

If I were the husband, I would divorce her and if I were the daughter I would never speak to her again. Have a nice day😉

I have my Mom's dress. I never had the opportunity to wear it. It's sealed in an airtight box. I can still see and admire it and remember my Mom, but it would be a pretty deliberate chore to get it out of that box.

Keep the dress at the late daughter's fiance's house until this is over. Just to make sure it's with someone who will respect the value of it

Me, the OP, I would've told her: "Here, I give you permission to take a photo. With the money you offered. You can go to a seamstress". 💁🏼‍♀️The audacity and the entitlement astonishes me. What astonishes me more. Is the husband. Since his daughter didn't take no. For an answer. He should put himself in her shoes. What about if it were backwards and his daughter were dead. With a bought and paid for wedding dress.

Lauren is a bully. Please take note future husband