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Breakups are hard, but being completely alone is still better than being with a terrible partner. So it can, perhaps, be useful to hear other’s stories if you are on the fence about your relationship. Or perhaps you really like your partner and just want some more evidence that it can be a lot worse.
Somebody asked people online to share “Why did you break up with your previous partner?” and we’ve gathered the most interesting responses. From regrets to truly toxic situations, get comfortable as you read through, and be sure to upvote the most interesting examples.
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#1
She lied about stopping by my house and taking care of my cat while I was out of the country.
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#2
He said my feminist ideas are like a disease and patriarchy is norm
#4
We had too much in common. I liked women and she liked women.
#5
Together for 3 years and I broke up with him because he had an affair for many months and decided to tell me at the begining of our 3 months trip to Central America.. He said he wasn’t sure if he loves me or her, he also blamed me for my depression and for not going to concerts with him ( that was his reason to find someone else).
So I broke it off, traveled solo for the rest of the trip..
#6
She got into a car with 2 men she met at a bar on a whim and drove 300 miles with them to a party city. Later, she bragged to me about how adventurous she was.
I'm glad she was ok, but I knew at that moment that she wasn't right for me.
#7
I dated a girl that pulled the old "It was a test" thing. One night she told me she wanted to go out drinking, but didn't want me to have sex with her when she got drunk. I agreed. She got drunk and threw herself at me. I refused and put her to bed. She was pissed. The next day she said it was all a test and I passed. I told her if she ever did it again, we were done. I wasn't going to be toyed with. Well, we're not together now. Guess why.
#8
He choked me in front of my son, so out the door he went. Zero remorse for that jack**s
#9
Because I was immature and thought that my ex was a bad person but it turned out that I was the bad one.
#10
Because I like my women like I like my coffee. Without 4 other guys d**k in it.
#11
Because his hobbies included saying hurtful s**t to me 😉
#12
Cheated. F****d me out of 2 grand. Ruined my life.
Then she married a redneck, ballooned up to 300 pounds and had 3 ugly kids, so I guess I won in the end.
#13
I closed myself off. I stopped going to her about issues, hopes, aspirations - I self sabotaged and convinced myself that it wasn’t working, which caused a spiral of other issues to become much more prominent.
Looking back, I think it would have been okay if I’d seen that and fixed it, but it was my first truly serious relationship, and I learned all this far, far too late. That being said, I think I’m glad I broke up with her - if I wasn’t fulfilling such a basic part of a relationship, and not smart enough to realize that, nor that it was stemming from internal issues, I was harming her more than loving her.
She has a new partner now, and she’s been a fairly different person with him. I think that’s a good thing, she seems happier. I hope that continues, and that they blossom.
#14
Because he downloaded Tinder where he met a girl, was texting with her for over a month, told her he was living with his cousin (we were living together) and then went on a date with her.
#15
The nail in the coffin was her making me pay for my birthday dinner at place she knew I didn’t like. I kinda realized that she didn’t actually care enough or thought doing the bare minimum was ok. We had other issues but it became obvious that she wanted someone to take care of her and I wanted someone who actually be my wife/partner/friend for life.
Sally Close 1 year ago
Well good on you for recognising that. You deserve to be seen and heard
#16
She wouldn't stop having sex with other people even though I specifically asked her not to.
Adrian 1 year ago
This is a weird thread. I'm only on the third one and they have all been about cheating. Isn't that, like, the top reason NOT to stay with someone. I know some couples have open relationships but most of the time don't you expect your partner won't have sex with someone else?
#17
She cheated on me with a coworker and with another guy I thought was a friend. She was unable to comprehend why I'd throw away the 4 years we had together. Yeah, that was her frame of mind - not sorry about what she did, but upset that I couldn't just accept it and move on.
#18
After 3 months I asked if we could sometimes hang out on a week night if we were both busy during the weekend. He freaked out and ended things because it was moving too fast. Then sent me multiple texts and calls 3 days later begging for another chance.
I gave him one because he told me his previous partner a year before me had died and he was nervous about getting into a relationship again but really liked me. I understood that he had trauma and agreed to take things slow. We talked about trying to see each other more often agreed to be exclusive, but absolutely nothing else changed. I gave him another 3 months and saw him maybe 3 times? He just wasn’t ready for a relationship yet and I was fine to take things slow, but as soon as I felt like a side piece he only saw when it was convenient, I couldn’t do it. Even if he had a good reason to be hesitant, I couldn’t ignore that I felt disrespected.
Sonja 1 year ago
Excuses, excuses. Whenever someone tells you in whatever context that their s****y behaviour is because they can't treat you fairly because someone else did something bad or something bad happened to someone else unrelated to you, run. It's one thing to say: hey, I have baggage, give me some room to work on it, but if you don't see them truly and actively working on it with progress to show, it's the victim strategy to get out of behaving decently. It's one form of weaponized incompetence. Especially when they blame you to 'trigger them' or 'making them doing things' while the only one doing bad things is them.
#19
I was a fool and didn’t try to reignite our spark when I knew I was fully capable. I guess I chose the easy way out but it was an L on my end and I regret it. I wish I could start over or try again because she was always unconditional and I didn’t appreciate it like I should’ve.
#20
i came to her asking to talk about our problems and things i can do to help and in return i asked her for help. She laughed at me.
There were other problems but that was the nail in the coffin
MontanaMariner 1 year ago
The laugh of someone that has checked out long ago. Same laugh I have at work.
#21
finally i get to talk about it LMAO: - way too h***y (so much so to where he would try to sext me every day) - unfortunately leading from that last point, took advantage of me because he was so h***y. - never tried or put any effort into the relationship, i always had to go and see him but never him come see me. - never gave me gifts. (and not in a materialistic way, i just mean when you see something at a store or think of your partner and you’re like “oh, i’ll get that for them.”) - always wanted me to do things and try things for him, but never the other way around. (example: always gave me a song to listen to or show to watch, but would never take any of my recommendations). - towards the end of the relationship, he purely based how much i “loved” him on how well i could pleasure him sexually. yeah, f**k you man.
#22
She wanted to downgrade from being girlfriend to being my exclusive bang buddy right before her bday, she got a lot of gifts from guys I never heard about including a trip to Bali from Texas, told her that wasn’t for me.
Candid Panda 1 year ago
Sounds like she had a bunch of sugar daddy's and those gifts are never free.
#23
A few reasons.
1) He had anger issues-which spread to a lot of other stuff
2) Inability to properly communicate (also linked to anger issues). I would do something (unknowingly) that annoyed him and instead of of telling me, he’d bottle it up and then use it as ammo in disagreements. Like…I can’t work on what I’m doing wrong if you don’t tell me what that is..
3) His parents are quite wealthy and they also come from quite a traditional background. His mom took care of everything. He didn’t know how to cook, clean, didn’t know simple things like debit cards having limits, etc. He was also ungrateful. He’d blow up at his parents a lot and then expect them to like buy s**t for him. He also said his dad should get him a job because “it’s the least he could do”. This was after he berated his dad for trying to help him find jobs cause he didnt like the ones his dad was selecting…
I could go on…
#24
She wanted to have kids I did not
#25
He was an abusive alcoholic who’d p**s the bed every time he drank too much, which shocker, was every day
Nicola Mawson 1 year ago
Alcoholism is a disease, like any other. I hope this person found recovery
#26
He got a sex worker pregnant while he was stationed in Germany.
#27
So many people in here broke up due to a big mistake their partner made, mine was different.
I broke up with my partner because we couldn’t see eye to eye on many fundamental values that made us who we are, and the changes to fix we tried to implement were never lasting.
I also felt a sense of disrespect from her, that she didn’t prioritize me/us. I want to be treated with the same love and respect I showed, and she just wouldn’t do that for me. After four years, when I broke up with her she just accepted it, barely any fight for us, that’s how I know it was over. I wasn’t her priority, and that’s okay. Our relationship died to a thousand paper cuts.
I wish someday I can ask her why she didn’t prioritize me/us, but I may never know the answer.
Lunaofthenest (She/they) 1 year ago
Sometimes people just don't fit together. She might not even know why.
#28
Cuz I'm a dumb**s and didn't want to marry her after two and a half years of perfect relationship I didn't want to have kids at that time and she got really depressed and we broke off.. I was 27 when we broke off and sometimes I feel regret everything was going super good we done lockdown 24/7 together never one dispute.
Realistic Optimist 1 year ago
Not wanting to get married and have kids are solid reasons to break up. Even if you get along with someone, having compatible life goals and values are essential to any relationship. Otherwise, you'll just end up resenting each other.
#30
She felt she didn’t need to reciprocate as much. I planned the dates. I paid for the dates. Even planned hikes and picnics. She never offered once to pay except for my birthday. Never planned anything. We were on our way to my birthday present but traffic was bad and we ended up going to her favorite restaurant. Still haven’t had the cryo sesh. Told her that as a feminist she claims to be and the equality she desired it felt more like she wanted me to be a traditional man so she could excavate my resources like I wouldn’t notice after 1.5years. Thank god it was only that long.
#31
She cheated on me. The guy she cheated with wound up regularly beating the hell out of her, and when I gave her three number to an abused women's shelter instead of a key to my house to help her she tried to act like it was all my fault.
B***h,***you*** sucked his d**k. Not my fault.
#32
We were only together 7 ish months but we were like an old married couple. No sexual attraction anymore and zero banter. I feel bad cause he was happy. I just know he'd be happier with someone else
#33
He didnt love me anymore, and did not have the courage to break up himself. So I did.
#34
She asked to take a break and then when the break ended and we got back together I was just no longer interested.
Lunaofthenest (She/they) 1 year ago
This is what a break is for- to see if you want to continue forward together or move on. Really, the break worked perfectly.
#35
I met someone else that showed me how bad my current situation was. Made me rethink my entire life. And a week later I broke it off after 15 years together.
Lunaofthenest (She/they) 1 year ago
Aka, rebound. That's not a judgment thing- sometimes we have to see ourselves through someone else's eyes to remember our worth.
#36
1. Codependency
2. Poor communication
3. Sexual incompatibility
4. A lack of willingness to seek care for mental health
Lunaofthenest (She/they) 1 year ago
The toxic relationship starter pack. I've also purchased one of these. 2/10- do not recommend.
#37
I always knew she wasn’t the person I wanted to marry, but we had a very comfortable, loving relationship.
Then she told me she was moving to the other side of the country, and that it was a “her” not an “us” move. Took a few months to knock that one around the old noggin and then realize it was better to be single and alone then be in a relationship and be alone.
She was somehow completely surprised and completely heartbroken when I said I didn’t want to keep dating lol.
Sonja 1 year ago (edited)
I somehow doubt the last part, I think you got dumped bro. She dumped you so hard that the momentum drove her a whole country away from you and you fool no one into thinking you dumped her. I'm also pretty sure that only she was loving and only you were comfortable and that's why she left you.
#38
Because she cheated multiple times, and still (for some reason) decided she still had the moral high ground. An awful human, with such a high opinion of herself
Clown fish 1 year ago
Sounds like one of my ex's. They said they cheated because I wasn't having sex with them enough! Like oh sorry I have to work
#39
Because she was very possesive and controling, so much that she got to the point of being aggresive when she didn t get what she wanted
#40
I could tell how many other partners she had every week by the different smells.
#41
I truly grew to hate him. Even the sight of him made me wanna break his neck.
LaserBrain 1 year ago
If you hold someone in contempt who loves you, please let them free. It's not fair and often turns into abuse.
#42
She was texting the whole time we were together but would take her hours to text me back. Pretty self explanatory
#43
She was selfish, emotionally immature, and very manipulative
#44
Because she was only at her best when she wasn’t the sickest in the room. When I got better she was left with herself. Neither of us liked who we saw but she was married to the destruction of alcohol because she thought it was the best she deserved.
She drank herself to death a couple of years ago.
#45
She did not appreciate the things i did for her. She didnt make me feel loved. And no more sex
#46
Because i tried for 8 years and nothing was changing, underlying issues that were never resolved. i wanted that nuclear family but realized it's not worth dealing with the arguments and the hostility from her. i was unhappy and she blamed me for it. plus BPD ADHD and Bipolar. and then she brought up her BFF male to stay with us to help us out since i gave up. and then she suggested a "trouple". i almost considered it because she broke me down to that point. The last straw was when it was after covid restrictions i went to a friend's housewarming and she gave an ultimatum to come back immediately or else i'll be locked out. so i got locked out from my own place and she had her BFF male stay inside with my child. now they are married within 7 months of leaving and i'm happily spending my weekends with my kid and with someone who helped give me my sense of self-worth back.
#47
She was just too childish. She had no direction in her life and really just hard to think of as a long term SO.
#48
Her filing for divorce to marry a priest she had been flirting with was the last straw--I had to put my foot down and say that if she continued on that path I just didn't think I could be with her anymore. Probably a bit harsh, but you have to respect yourself, you know?
#49
She had WAY more life experience than me, she wasn’t getting much out of the relationship
Okiedokie 1 year ago
Okay, as someone with several degrees who has had partners break up with me for being ‘too nerdy’ or ‘just plain intimidating’ bc of how I use my mind…this just sounds like insecurity. Unless she’s actively throwing it in your face there’s no reason not to embrace someone with a bigger knowledge base & learn from them while you bond. Sounds like there was an emotional literacy gap & they made it a problem.
#50
You definitely shouldn't reveal your stance on the age of consent a year into the relationship. With a very, very different answer than the start of it.
What do you think ?
Hphizzle 1 year ago
These all made me trust the advice of “figure out what you value in a relationship and a s/o before getting into a serious relationship”. Most of these sounded like major red flags were ignored until things turned really nasty. Know your values and seek them out in a partner.
HelluvaHedgehogAlien 1 year ago
With the almost anonymous internet, these people might as well as been talking about each other. Sometimes, it’s fairer to hear both sides of the story
Hphizzle 1 year ago
These all made me trust the advice of “figure out what you value in a relationship and a s/o before getting into a serious relationship”. Most of these sounded like major red flags were ignored until things turned really nasty. Know your values and seek them out in a partner.
HelluvaHedgehogAlien 1 year ago
With the almost anonymous internet, these people might as well as been talking about each other. Sometimes, it’s fairer to hear both sides of the story
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