Crazy how religion, which should be based in love and acceptance, can completely turn you against your own family.

Oh the hypocrisy of the religious. Love thy neighbor but shame your daughter?

"Family is family" is the swan song of someone who is happy to have family mistreating each other, as long as they aren't the recipient. If someone in your life is treating you the way this woman's parents are treating her, don't waste your life accommodating their idiocy. It's just too short.

"should I invite the most abusive and least supportive people I know to be a part of my wedding"? No. The answer is no.

OP’s parents are part of some kind of cult and her sisters are fully indoctrinated. I wouldn’t never low my daughter to be exposed to them, no matter how “sweet” they are with her, because you know damned well they’ll try to indoctrinate her too, even if just out of spite towards OP. Nope, she’s way better off without them, concentrating on her own little family, adopting her husband’s family, who sound like absolute angels (pun intended) as hers.

Children are not extensions of their parents. They are their own individuals who have the right to think and feel any way they want. Parental love should be unconditional. What horrible "parents." They only care about optics.

The gathering is a celebration of your union. Your mother has been consistently unequivocal that you're tainted, you've ruined your opportunity for a decent union (even if you got married now in a church, you'd be a tarnished disgrace) and this celebration does not meet her approval. So logically, what would she do at the gathering other than feel distress and feel obliged to repeatedly voice her disapproval? Point out to your sister that it would an active cruelty to lure your mother to a gathering where everyone is so hostile to her puritanical views.

The reply with the Cultianity at the corner with the other wackadoos was the best and should become the standard reply to these sadistic f***s.

Enjoy not going to the wedding parents & sibling 😂

So called virginity, purity and all that shite should have no bearing on who people want to share their life with

Someone tell the mom that Jesus said "Let he who is without sin throw the first stone" something tells me the mom isn't without sin, therefore has no grounds to criticize the daughter and call her not pure

This could be because as an addict in recovery, I see addiction in many many people when I start looking deeper. BUT this story has got me wondering if religion (or God) can be an addiction. The first step in addiction recovery is, "we admitted that we're powerless over (insert addiction); that our lives had become unmanageable." This story has got me thinking that the mom is trying to control what will happen to her and her family in the next life. In a sense, she's trying to control God by always doing the "right" thing. I think that's driven by fear of being sent to hell. If she can admit she's powerless over God and her life has become unmanageable, she has a chance at redemption. ---- I'm glad OP has a support system who acts based on love instead of fear. Hopefully they will give her the strength to cut ties with her family of origin.

As one commenter said it's 2024 and that type of thinking (from the parents) hasn't existed in centuries and they need to get with the times and reality. People actually still think like that? Amazing they can make it through the day without killing themselves.

How deluded can you be when you claim that your mom has always loved and supported your sister when there is absolutely no evidence for that. Just cut them out of your life: they will be an endless source of negativity.

Can you imagine how much the mother would ruin the day? Keep her away - she can stay with the sister and b***h about it all day instead.

The story I heard about Queen Victoria wearing white was that her future husband had seen her through some lace curtains and thought she looked beautiful in the white with the lace. However it happened, wear the white, enjoy the day and your new family.

It's possible to disagree with someone without being cruel. It's possible to disagree with someone and still be supportive. No one should ever expect to be invited to an occasion when they've been nothing but cruel and insulting the the host. The die is cast, the baby is born, absolutely NOTHING you say or do will change that. SO only reason to keep bringing up the past is to be cruel. And who wants to be around that? Who wants that at their wedding? "But she's your mother" ----- well then she might want to start ACTING like it.

The sister, though! "You cannot expect everyone to like and agree with your life choices, but family is family". How is OP supposed to live up to that standard, but not her mother?

Don't back down and let the parents go to that wedding. I didn't want my mother at either of my weddings! She was a judgmental narcissist that loved emotionally, mentally and verbally abusing me and hated all my life choices and boyfriends/fiances. Everything was about her. I eloped the first time and the second time I told her only a couple of people were going, and my husband's parents weren't going to it either.

There's nothing in the bible about premarital sex. Exodus 22:16-17. "If a man seduces a virgin who is not pledged to be married and sleeps with her, he must pay the bride-price, and she shall be his wife. If her father absolutely refuses to give her to him, he must still pay the bride-price for virgins." You can't make this xhit up.

Batwench

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No one expects the four year old inquisitor.

Geez... I'm approaching 40s and still waiting for someone to be able to explain what exactly "family is a family" means 🙄 It's such a bullshït!

OP's sister is her mother's daughter.

I grew up in a Christian environment also, it was shameful to see how meanly some people were treated if they got pregnant while unmarried.

OP has a new family, and just like stepdads and stepmothers who take care of other peoples children that have abandoned their children, the stepparents become the true parents over the bioparents. Family is where the love is, even if they are not bloodrelated. Your mum and dad didn't show you the love and support that you deserve, that your spouse deserves, and your child. Your in-laws did. They are true family and they sound lovely! Enjoy your wedding in love and peace as it should be.

If white was ever a sign of purity, it would have been worn by virgins that were about to get sacrificed upon some altar. It had nothing to do with marriage. Like Ellinor stated, it became tradition some hundred(s) years ago and even then had nothing to do with purity. Maybe with new beginnings, yes. That still applies here.

If i hear "family is forever" or some such bs, one more time.... Children do not ask to be put in this world, and owe parents and siblings NOTHING. parents owe the lives they bring into the world everything: care, gentleness, safety, the whole shebang. Elevating a relationship because DNA is the opposite of consensual. Pandas, you can choose to love your DNA family. You are NOT required to.

LOL!!! Your mom was 100% suckin d**k and taking up the a*s from boyfriends before she was married. These s**t head evangelicals have loop holes. "If Im not taking c**k in my holy chamber, im stiil a virgin, so it doesnt count if I swallow 1000 loads or get pounded in my a*s.... I am still pure"