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39 Times Parents Inflicted Emotional Damage On Their Kids With The Stupid Stuff They Told Them
The internet isn't all fun and games. While a large portion of it is killing time content, some of it tackles the more difficult aspects of life. And AskReddit, one of Reddit's bigger subreddits, is no exception.
Recently, there were talks of the worst things parents can ever say to their children that would be so devastating so as to destroy their self-esteem for the rest of their lives.
Scroll down to read the top answers from the now-viral post, and while you're at it, throw in your two cents into the discussion below.
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#1
I went out a couple of times with a girl who was adopted while we were both in high school. One time I was over the house, she and her mom got into an argument, and her mom yelled out something along the lines of “Now I know why your parents put you up for adoption”.
Never in my life have I heard anything half as cruel.
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#2
Was over at a friend's house one day. Her mother called her into the kitchen to yell at her about *how* she stacked the plates in the cupboard. She did the dishes without being asked, dried them, put them away, and was STILL in trouble for it. I walked into the kitchen just in time to hear, "I knew I should've killed myself when I found out the abortion failed."
*That was like a brick wall to us both.* I called my mother to come pick me up and told her what happened. My friend stayed with us for the next couple of nights after that. Her mother told mine, "Keep her. I don't care. I'm tired of looking at her stupid face anyway. She can't do anything right."
She spent the entire time at my house anxiously waiting for my mother to snap at her for something, while my mother spent the entire time trying to make her understand that she's safe there.
#3
I have custody of my 8 year old granddaughter. She was placed with me just weeks after her 6th birthday. During the time before her parents rights were terminated, they had visitation. My granddaughter had long hair that she hated having brushed. I asked her if she would like it short and she said she would but her momma wouldn't like it. Well, we got it cut anyway. She was so happy with it! I figured her mom would at least pretend to like it because the kiddo was so excited. NOPE. Mom flat out told her she hated it. Absolutely crushed that child.
In just another couple of weeks the adoption will be final, so yeah. Her mom is a c**t.
#4
Why didn't you get an A. I got an A-. Nope. A+. Nope. Got 100%. Why didn't you get extra credit. That's when I gave up.
My kid is a straight A student. Not one B. She'd get a 92 and the wife started that same BS my dad pulled. Nipped that in the bud.
#5
My parents always knew exactly how long it was until my 18th birthday, and would remind me that I'd be on my own when it arrived. It was the sword of Damocles hanging over my head, my whole childhood. I knew in my bones that I was not wanted or welcome, and that they looked forward to being free of me.
#6
“I wish I had aborted you.”
God, that hit me like a sword
Squirrelly Panda 1 year ago
Oh, please try to forgive your horrible parent. Do NOT tell them you forgive. Never forget. Keep strong boundaries. Just forgive to evict them from your brain so they cannot live rent free in there anymore. You are worthy.
#7
"Please God. Please just let her [unalive herself] already." I overheard my mother praying this to God about 6 months before an attempt that led to 1.5 years in a hospital and 6 months in a group home... 😞😞
#8
Someone blaming the child for something like a divorce happening. - Someone did that to my daughter and she won’t say who. But I tell her every time it’s not her fault and it’s mine and her mom’s fault. She cries every time she says it’s her fault we aren’t together. I don’t know who is saying that to her but they need their a*s kicked for it.
#9
"You are not depressed, there is nothing wrong with you. You are just lazy and make up excuses all the time.”
Doodles1983 1 year ago
My mum: “You’re 22, you haven’t got the nappy marks off your bottom yet. What do you have to be depressed about?” (Turns out brain imbalance and a full nervous breakdown at 25…)
#10
A direct quote from my mom “everyone else has normal kids. What did I do get get stuck with you?”
Me: should’ve used a condom and not abuse me. You get what you invest in
#11
I was chubby for a portion of my childhood. At one point my dad told me other kids would mistake me for a girl because I was growing breasts because of my weight.
Who needs bullies at school when your parents can just come up with the worst insults?
RabidChild 1 year ago
One comment like this does more damage than a million bullies could dish up over a century.
#12
Children are meant to be seen and not heard.
Decades later it still doesn’t feel natural to speak up.
Lorraine Woollands 1 year ago
My mum was a bit like this. As a result I grew up very shy and couldn't talk to anyone. This wasn't right either, mum used to have a go at me for not talking to anyone and being antisocial. It wasn't until we lost dad and I lost my partner that things between us got a bit better. Also I am a only child and had no one to talk to. I was closer to my dad but he didn't understand (wasn't his fault, mum was always the dominant one)
#13
"Why can't you be like (insert name of cousin/neighbor/classmate/any random human being)?"
#14
When child is showing any type of emotion and the parent says what is wrong with you in a disgusted manner
#15
“ you’re so smart, but so lazy! If you just applied yourself….”
If I had a proper DX as a kid my life would he easier too >,>
MrsFettesVette 1 year ago
I got this constantly, too. Was diagnosed with ADHD FINALLY about a month and a half ago (at the age of 46). Now my mother insists shes never called me lazy: "I don't know where you heard that, but it certainly wasn't from me".
#16
My dad used to make all of his kids and my mom run laps in the yard to lose weight. This started when I was 10.
He told me that “nobody would be your friend if they saw you in a swimsuit” at 8 when I got invited to a pool party at a friends house.
As you can imagine, I struggle pretty hard with body image issues. These are the absolute tip of the iceberg of what that man has said to me.
#17
"It's your fault my life is so messed up."
Rain Anderson 1 year ago
Never had the energy to scream back that it's not my fault they slept without protection.
#18
Dad used to make pig sounds when I ate. He still does it and I'm 39.
Dread Pirate Roberts 1 year ago
I wonder if he would make screech owl noises instead if you stabbed his hand with your fork...
#19
"I brought you into this world. I give you a roof over your head" In response to any protests of any kind from the child. Like, is that why you have children? To lord it over their heads that you gave them life till the end of your days?
#20
Wait until your dad gets home. Sure. Make the kid affraid of his dad. My late mom used to hate when she heard a mom say that.(or her dad)
Yer maw 1 year ago
I say to my kids wait until daddy is home and there's excitement and them staring out windows to see if they see his car - it's nowhere near a threat, why would I want them to fear their daddy? It's more a wait until you can tell him *insert event here* happened, or we'll go to the park when daddy is home, or to eat the cake we e made. The fact they'll see his car and shout "daddy" while running for the door is something I never want to change
#21
Your brother/sister never gives me such difficulty...
Heather Menard 1 year ago
I never got that because I was the ghost child. I didn't exist in her eyes
#22
My mother told me almost every day that I was the reason she couldn't go to college and become a lawyer.
Sarah Kathrin Matsoukis 1 year ago
It's perfectly legal to give your kids away for adoption but I guess they don't want to do that because that would make them look bad
#23
My grandma used to tell my mom in the 80s “you look frumpy, men don’t like that”. She’s made sure to NEVER say anything like that to me.
Side note, my mom has always thought she looked frumpy, matronly, and fat because of her moms words, to this day even though my grandma has been gone 10 years. It wasn’t ever true. Her damn wedding dress fit my waist when I was a normal sized 12 year old, for gods sake
Rain Anderson 1 year ago
Cruel words stucks with you for forever. They keep on playing inside of your head like a record player.
#24
My Dad called me a fat s**t when I was 15. Little did he know, I ate food for comfort because neither one of my parents acknowledged my existence.
Calling me fat was his favorite insult. I remember it from as early as 9.
Tucker Cahooter 1 year ago
The reverse for me. My mother used to call me "skinso" or "skinny mick" (which was actually pretty mild compared to some of the other verbal abuse she used to dish out). Great way to build up your kid's self confidence
#25
Growing up my mom always told us “I love you but that doesn’t mean I have to like you” and tbh that still f***s with me at 25 😅
#26
"Why are you so emotional"
Rain Anderson 1 year ago
Bottling up emotions f@uks u up later in life, cause you then stop showing any emotions at all.
#27
Dad: I hope you f**k better than you cut grass or your future wife is going to be miserable
Me a 12 year old: …
Luke Branwen 1 year ago
And then this d#ckhead logs on to Facebook and complains how the El Gee Bee Tees are forcing sexuality on their kids.
#28
"You just WANT there to be something wrong with you."
Diagnosed autism age 24 and ADHD age 29.
It was pure gaslighting because she dragged me around various pediatricians and therapists for years begging them to tell her what was wrong with me. When they couldn't give her an answer she decided I was just inherently lazy, pessimistic, oppositional. When I tried describing my executive dysfunction to her she handed me that lovely nugget.
Also, "Why can't you be more like [friend]?"
And her constantly checking out books from the library titled s**t like "how to handle your out of control teen" also made me feel a certain kind of way.
Sami-Jo Ross 1 year ago
A lot of people don't understand that mental illness isn't black and white, nor is it something obvious. The best way I've seen executive dysfunction described is this: there's a task you have to do, but you go to do it and it says "sorry, you must be level 3 to do this", but you have no way of leveling up so you're just hitting a button futilely trying to do something but your brain just doesn't let you, even though you consciously know it needs to be done.
#31
I've heard, "I brought you into this world and I can take you out of it" personally
RabidChild 1 year ago
Oh yeah. This and "I should have raised dogs" were my mother's favorites.
#32
“Stop complaining, others have had it much worse than you!”
Rain Anderson 1 year ago
Put them in a old home and say "stop complaining, others have it much worse than you" 🤷🏻♀️
#33
my dad, a chaplain in the Air Force for over 25 years and a current pastor who everyone thinks is the bees knees, told me that I was too self centered to kill myself, completely shattering any illusion i had that he loved me or wanted to see me free of pain. the sad thing is I thought he was one of the most compassionate people I knew up to that point, he'd adopted my siblings and me, and i bet on that he never thought Id deal with pain from trauma like this, until he reiterated it a few months ago.
pfeils wife 1 year ago
Seriously, I hope a few months ago was the last time you've had contact with this man.
#35
"We only had all you kids for the tax write-off."
Ex's dad said that to him as a teen. Thirty years later it was still affecting his relationship with his parents.
#36
Heard the ole “men are dogs. Worse than dogs. I never wanted you. You ruined my life” spiel so much it kind of lost all its luster the older we got.
Rain Anderson 1 year ago
May I ask if something like SA happened to her? (Not the kids fault obv) cause it doesn't sound like the typical heartbreak.
#38
“you’re gonna eat all that?”
and_a_touch_of_the_’tism 1 year ago
Sometimes this is reasonable, I always grab more food than I can eat. I don’t have any food issues, my eyes are just bigger than my stomach lol
#39
Both have said if they could do it over again they wouldn't have kids.
Kanelle 1 year ago
Yup. My father told that to me when I was a teenager. It was like a hammer in the face. It wasn't in a context of "you turned out badly so I wish I didn't have kids" though. He was getting therapy and realizing all the way he and my mom f****d up when I was a kid and regretted not being a good parent. Plus he had discovered that some of his mental traits were thought to be passed on genetically and he was saying that, had he known that, he wouldn't have had children. All that being said, bone of it made it less painful in the moment.
What do you think ?
Thor Haugen 1 year ago
I loved my mom dearly and miss her every day. I don't remember what grade I was in or even what class, but I was so proud that I had 98 percent in it well into the term. I shared with my mom and her response? "Where is the other 2 percent?" Maybe she was having a bad day or whatever, but it really hurt. Be kind. It costs nothing.
SpongeBob SquarePants 1 year ago
The things my "father" said to me. The good thing was that I learned to laugh at him. Every time he hit me or mocked me, I would laugh in his face and tell him to do it again because I barely felt him. That really hurt his pride and messed him up.
Thor Haugen 1 year ago
I loved my mom dearly and miss her every day. I don't remember what grade I was in or even what class, but I was so proud that I had 98 percent in it well into the term. I shared with my mom and her response? "Where is the other 2 percent?" Maybe she was having a bad day or whatever, but it really hurt. Be kind. It costs nothing.
SpongeBob SquarePants 1 year ago
The things my "father" said to me. The good thing was that I learned to laugh at him. Every time he hit me or mocked me, I would laugh in his face and tell him to do it again because I barely felt him. That really hurt his pride and messed him up.
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