The lady asks if she's TA, but on every single comment she's answered, she says she still doesn't believe she's TA and won't do anything for the older child feeling cold.

Why are they asking for advice cause they sure aren't taking it! "I am right, I am right, I am right" is all they say in response. This poor girl. Being cold is SUFFERING. When I was sick and only weighed 82 pounds, going into the grocery store was absolutely UNBEARABLE. She can say she isn't favoring one kid over the other, but she is. 3 people are "fine" one is immensely miserable. She needs to move in with her grandparents this is wrong and abusive on so many levels

She's in the UK, so am I. She can get a system like Tado where you can control the temperature by room, so this "don't want the whole house at 21" is ridiculous and there is an energy efficient way around it. Her daughter is wearing multiple layers, she's showing she's tried on her part. Not everyone has the same constitution. Yes the parents are absolutely TA in my opinion. And as for the comment about loving the 5 year old more, which she seems confused about, she puts the heating on higher 5-7am so that daughter doesn't get cold, does she not see that's her considering one daughter's needs not the other. **UPDATE** Seems she realised she is TA: Hello everyone and thank you for all your feedback. I did not realise there were so many reasons as to why my daughter potentially could be cold and that layering may not work in those cases. We reached a compromise with our daughter: she can have a small heater for her room with a timer so I am 100% sure it is not left on overnight for my own peace of mind. We are also going to buy her a heavier duvet and thicker mattress topper to prevent cold from underneath the bed. Thank you all.

It's frustrating that some people don't understand that different people have different thermal perception. I don't get cold easily, but 16°C is really low and my SO would freeze to death, even with blankets. It's really unreasonable for the mom to only care about whether she and her husband can handle the temperatures. And asking a 5 year old if the temperature is ok sounds ridiculous. Maybe some kids are sensitive to heat or cold, but I know many little ones who want to go out in the snow with a t-shirt and bare feet. That the mother is completely disregarding her oldest daughter's feelings makes me sad and angry.

So I'm like OP in that I like my living space cooler, 18°C in the living space is comfortable for me. Because I have basebord electric heat every room has its own thermostat and the bedrooms heat is left off. That being said if anyone living with me complained that they were cold constantly the heat would go up to 20°C and they'd have the ability to turn on the heat in their bedroom. Everyone has the right to be comfortable in the place that they live.

I was ready to say the kid just needs to put on some warmer clothes, but wearing multiple layers and still being cold isn't fair on her. Heating blankets and space heaters are much better designed these days, and much less of a fire risk, so not letting her have one while also not being willing turn the heat up at all is just dumb. My husband and I have different temperature preferences (he likes the cold, I very much do not) but even he gets mad at me for dealing with being cold because I don't want to raise our heating costs by turning the heater up and he wants me to be comfortable. Cause he loves me (I don't like for him to be too warm either though). And to the comments about how other people must not live in the UK, I can't imagine that the weather there gets much colder than it does in my state (winters can be brutal here) so I feel like that's an unrelated point. The daughter is allowed to be cold, even when the rest of the house is not bothered by it.

All the people saying, "wear layers! wrap in a blanket." Is your house at 16 degrees? Is your office 16 degrees? If my home were 16 degrees, I'd be having my furnace checked. If my office were 16 degrees, I'd be working from home. I sound like a crank. Maybe I am, but I had a manager who didn't own a winter coat. Kept the office at 16 degrees. I found another part of the building to work in because there was no way.

16 is too cold for during the day, it should be 18C minimum. 16C is reasonable for most people at night. If one person is too cold, not letting them have a space heater or an electric blanket is ridiculous. Let her have a heated overblanket if you don't think a standard electric blanket is safe. Or a heating pad. If she's wearing multiple layers in bed, and complaining about the cold, and you won't let her have a heating source, YTA.

Tbh they sound like incredibly selfish, arrogant and obnoxious people who disregard their older daughter entirely. Just c**p people.

UKer here, I have Tado on my radiators and thermostats in each room..the lounge/dining room are currently a balmy 20.8° whilst the bedrooms are 18°. It's single figures outside (I can see my breath out there) so it's worthwhile, I'll boost the upstairs temp before I go to bed.

I'm in central Canada where the outdoor temps go from 40°C to -40°C and my house is always 16°C at night. It's perfect. But for winter I often use more than one blanket and maybe socks if I'm still too cold. 21°C at night would be way too hot for me. But OP isn't providing options to her older daughter, just trying to be in the right. That is TA move. Alternatively, they could try living here in winter wonderland. 🤣 That'll cure 'em both real quick.

Wow. 18c is perfect for me. I keep the house at 18 in the winter and 20 in the summer. In freedom degrees that is 64-68f. 68 with the AC on and 64 with the heat on. I use a mini-split/heat-pump setup and a woodstove. Buy your kid a heated blanket.

My heating is set to 20C during the day (I work from home) and 17C at night. It is never off, so if the temp drops below 17C in the night, it will cut in. You need some form of woolly on during the day and a nice warm duvet at night. This is a trade off between being relatively comfortable and selling your soul to the gas board to be warm. Oh, and I'm still on my summer duvet at the moment! When it gets a bit colder, I'll put the winter one on.

UK person here - and very warm-blooded! Even now, my house is at 16 degrees and we're all happy! That said: people are different. If we had someone stay who was shivering, we wouldn't dismiss them. It's important everyone is comfy! Raising to 21 degrees as the daughter wants is a bit excessive as it sounds like the three others would swelter... however there's no reason a compromise can't be reached!

I'm pretty sure some countries have laws where you're not allowed to have the temperature at under 20C at any company, and if it's in an apartment you can sue if the temp doesn't go over 20C, when you have it turned up. So yeah OP is an AH, also love how she posts on reddit, gets told she's wrong and argues back

I'm not one to complain about being cold easily but I know at these temps, I wouldn't have a good night's sleep because I would have cramps all night long. No, bananas don't help.

Add a cheap duvet under the bottom sheet. Unless you have a memory foam topper, many mattresses don't have enough insulation. "At home" and "sleeping" hats and fingerless gloves have been worn for years. Long "Heat Holder" socks or "Snag" thigh high lounge socks keep feet and legs toasty. Also have hot drinks and eat more to stay warm. Porridge is good.

Perhaps the daughter has a health condition ? A visit to the Dr. wouldn't hurt.

My husband & I have very different internal thermostats, I have one comforter (duvet) across the whole bed. & 2 others that are folded in half. I have 5 layers, he has one & we can keep the thermostat at a reasonably comfortable level for both of us all winter.

A good electric blanket is not dangerous. I use a closed, oil-filled space heater in my apartment, as it's more efficient than turning on the wall heater that just heats my upstairs neighbor's floor. Parents are TAs.

Personally, I just put on two blankets and never turn the heater on. Maybe the daughter should get her own infrared radiant heater?

On the one hand that is really cold. On the other, I've see the articles about the cost of heating in the UK lately and it's absolutely insane (like, over $600 per MONTH for a normal sized house) The daughter is 22 and more than capable of purchasing her own mattress warmer/ electric blanket (and just not telling the OP) as well as her own long john underwear.

Our thermostat is set at 18°C. My wife is on blood thinners so always cold and wraps in layers while I sit around in a t-shirt. For those saying to turn it up, are you going to send money to pay the extra? Energy in the UK nowadays is f*****g expensive.

I grew up in the Midwest (Indiana.) We moved into a 100yo farmhouse w/ little insulation. My parents & little brother slept downstairs, staying warm from a wood stove. My sister and I nearly froze to death the winter we lived in that house. In the mornings there would be frost on my plaster walls. The thermometer read 48° F (8.8°C)!! We heated the 2 upstairs bdrms with a kerosene heater, so it was only burning when we were awake. We'd get out of bed early, turn it on & get the temp up to a balmy 55.

Our house next to a body of water is always 15C/59F and the first year I was freezing. Now I walk around with a winter duvet around my body and sleep under 3 winter duvet at night. Thermal underwear, 4 layers of thick clothing as well. We used to pay about 150€ per month for heating at 21C/69.8F & it became nearly 800€ per month and currently it's around 250€ per month with 15C. We do occasionally warm up our combined office or the bedroom, because I had a double pneumonia and it wasn't healing.

well that 22-year-old needs to get her a*s out of that f*****g house get her own goddamn place and quit complaining about it and everybody defending her is a f*****g r****d.

Sorry but at her age she should be able to figure it out herself with blankets, warm socks, warm clothing. I live in Northern Canada and I often sleep with my window open a crack when it's minus 10 out. Love sleeping with fresh air all covered up nice and warm.

It was regularly 7 degrees C here. We have finally put in a heat pump but we don't leave it on, Power bill would be through the roof! And not at night. Only to take the chill off the bedrooms, (it's in hallway).

This is so funny! Just get a good blanket and you can sleep well. The average temperature in my bedroom is 6 C in winter and it's lovely. When it's freezing, just be aware that you cover your eyes well, so they will not freeze, that's all.

This comment is hidden. Click here to view.

Get her a 15 tog duvet and an electric blanket. Also get her checked out by your doctor - 15 C is perfectly normal for night time, and very few UK people have their central heating on at night anyway. I'm in my 70's and get cold easily, but warm nightwear and a leccy blanket do their job.

This comment is hidden. Click here to view.

Why are the comments all only about increased costs if the Thermostat is Set to a higher temperature? In my opinion it is more about 3 people being comfortable with the Status quo and one who is not? Why would anybody think the majority has to adjust to the preferences of one person?