Son Points Out Everyone Who Learned Sign Language For Sister, Upsets Parents
Involved parents contribute so much to their children’s happiness. They’re like a personal cheerleading squad, who encourage and motivate the kids to pursue their dreams and celebrate their achievements, creating an environment filled with unconditional love and support.
However, Reddit user Maleficent_Round1611 said that when his sister needed their old folks the most, they refused to step up. After the teenager lost her voice, the mom and dad didn’t bother to learn sign language, citing a lack of free time, and pushed her to find other ways to communicate with them.
The boy eventually confronted their parents about it, hoping to talk some sense into them, but everything resulted in a huge fight, so now he seeks an impartial take from the outside to help him gain a better understanding of the situation.
This teenager learned sign language to stay close to his sister, but their parents wouldn’t
Image credits: RDNE Stock project (not the actual photo)
So he sat them down and listed everyone else who had
Image credits: RDNE Stock project (not the actual photo)
Image source: Maleficent_Round1611
Learning sign language isn’t an easy feat, but the parents didn’t even try
Image credits: RDNE Stock project (not the actual photo)
According to the Department of Speech, Language, and Hearing Sciences at the University of Colorado Boulder, on average, it takes up to 8 years to become a master of American Sign Language (ASL).
But as Dr. William G. Vicars, Ed.D., (also widely known as “Dr. Bill”) who is the founder of ASL University, an online American Sign Language curriculum resource center, highlights, just like with any language, the time frames vary significantly among individuals.
Usually, “achieving fluency in American Sign Language (ASL) takes several years of dedicated study and practice. This typically involves taking multiple structured courses, consistent practice, immersion in the Deaf community, and ongoing learning,” Dr. Bill told Bored Panda. “Fluency encompasses not just vocabulary, but also the cultural nuances and grammatical structures unique to ASL.”
For easy everyday interactions, you only need a small portion of that.
“With focused study, many people can learn enough sign language to have simple conversations within a few months or even sooner,” he added. “Attending classes, practicing regularly, and engaging with Deaf individuals can accelerate this process. Online resources, like the ASL University, provide structured lessons that can help beginners start communicating basic ideas and phrases relatively quickly.”
Writer and polyglot Mathias Barra, who has also dabbled in it, thinks you don’t have to grind day in and day out to achieve that.
“It’s okay not to have learning a language your priority. All you need is to have it be a part of your life,” Barra explained. “Go back to it often and be consistent. Don’t push yourself too much if you want to avoid [feeling overwhelmed].”
“Make the language colorful by [forging] a real connection to it … As long as you’re heading toward a clear goal, you’re on the right path,” Barra added. “Every single language-learning journey will take you to its own magical place. I can assure you that more than anything else.”
Dr. Bill pointed out some factors which significantly enhance the speed of learning sign language:
- Immersion. Regular interaction with Deaf individuals and participation in the Deaf community can provide real-life practice and deeper understanding.
- Consistency. Frequent and consistent practice helps reinforce learning and build muscle memory for signing.
- Quality resources. Utilizing comprehensive and well-structured learning materials, such as online courses, textbooks, and videos, is crucial.
- Motivation and commitment. Having a strong ‘Why’ (in the case of the Redditor’s parents, the ability to be able to efficiently speak to their daughter) really helps the process.
- Ease of access. Learning ASL can be as simple as clicking on a link and watching your way through an ASL playlist.
“Learning sign language is not just about acquiring a new skill; it’s about bridging communication gaps and fostering inclusion,” Dr. Bill said. “Family members who make the effort to learn ASL can profoundly impact in a positive way their relationship with loved ones who use sign language.”
Unfortunately, judging from the original post, it sounds like the mom and dad weren’t interested in that and instead prioritized their own convenience.
As people reacted to his story, the teen joined the discussion in the comments
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Religion seems to excuse a lot of things, from paedophilia to treating family like s**t. BuT We Go To ChurCh, So We'Re GooD PeOpLe!
A good church gathers together and helps a family in crisis. That church should have been providing meals, doing collections for medical bills, and releasing the parents from any service obligations to give them more time to care for their injured child and learn to adjust to the circumstances. When I went to church (not Mormon), that's how we did things.
Load More Replies...I learned basic ASL at the age of 5 because my best friend was deaf 😑. I only knew him for 2 years until we both moves away but still...
I learned a little basic ASL with my coworkers because the bar I used to work at had a regular customer who was deaf. He was pleasantly surprised one day when we were all able to greet him and ask him what kind of sides he wanted with his burger (instead of us both pointing at options on the menu). It was a busy bar so us servers ended up using some ASL to communicate across the room, just phrases like “kitchen is closed” or “you look hot” hahaha. I’ve ended up using a few phrases I learned in the years since then, especially the alphabet. I think everyone should learn sign language :)
Load More Replies...As a Mormon, I'd like to say he is correct in how we are expected to fulfill church roles/responsibilities. We are meant also to be constantly aware of God working in our lives. (Thinking that He made those pretty flowers you saw on the way to work, for instance). This includes family. Therefore, beyond all the other extremely good reasons why these selfish parents should learn sign language to communicate with their daughter, they are expected/required to do so because God gave them a daughter who ended up needing to use sign language. Anyone going so far as to learn a new language to communicate with someone will receive blessings from Heaven. We have a geas, basically, to help others. One's own daughter is surely included. The Mormon church has made many mistakes, but this one is on the parents.
@Bouche, why is it not standard for parents who have a child in crisis (like severely injured and newly disabled) to be released from their service callings to prioritize the child? I'm not Mormon, but I'm religious and believe in service. I grew up babysitting for kids whose parents were sick, cooking meals for new mums, teaching Sunday School, etc.... but those things were not expected of me when there was a major crisis in my life. Others stepped in and took over my work so I could focus on my family and the care they needed. Demanding that parents give up their time to the church when their child is in need seems outright cruel.
Load More Replies...I learned ASL from my deaf babysitter growing up. She was an awesome lady even taught me swear words when I was a teenager lol and it really came in handy in my medical career as I was only one of two people employed in a hospital who could sign. If you have the opportunity and willingness to learn I highly recommend it. :)
Tee hee -- it kinda sounds like it was the swear words in particular that came in handy! (If so, I get it -- I'm in healthcare too. /jk)
Load More Replies...Learning sign language is hard, but learning how to read it is faster than getting fluent at making the gestures. I'd suggest this young man sign all his conversation with his parents from now on, to help them learn. Sign and speak, if they're struggling. Imersion will help. He should also go to his pastor, and point out that if god has a plan for his family, it includes his sister becoming mute, and the family learning ASL for her. Maybe the pastor can tell the parents god wants them to stop being jerks and make an honest attempt at it.
The church is getting free labor from them, so it might not be that easy. If the pastor thinks that will cause them to do less church work, he might not be supportive of them cutting back to learn ASL.
Load More Replies...I had a work colleague who was deaf, as was her husband. Both from birth. Her in-laws never learned sign language. That blows my mind. How can you have a deaf kid and never bother to learn sign language?!
You don't care about your kid if you won't learn. I think basic ASL should be a standard part of education, starting in elementary school. People who need to use ASL to communicate are often isolated because so few people know how to talk to them. It would hugely help for a more inclusive world.
Load More Replies..."If you're a faithful Mormon then you believe that God told the pastor equivalent to ask you to do a thing, so saying no is sayin no to God." How freaking convenient for the Mormon church. Ugh
Yeah, they have a pretty exploitative system. I believe in God. I am not Mormon. But I believe that God would want parents of a newly disabled child to dedicate their time and focus to learning and helping that child adapt to their new circumstances more than doing work at church. I know a non-Mormon pastor who took leave from his job to help his emotionally troubled stepson. The church didn't ask him to. He chose to do it himself because he felt that his first calling was to serve his family (he'd married a widow with children). If a pastor will do that, surely congregants should be allowed to do that.
Load More Replies...Religion seems to excuse a lot of things, from paedophilia to treating family like s**t. BuT We Go To ChurCh, So We'Re GooD PeOpLe!
A good church gathers together and helps a family in crisis. That church should have been providing meals, doing collections for medical bills, and releasing the parents from any service obligations to give them more time to care for their injured child and learn to adjust to the circumstances. When I went to church (not Mormon), that's how we did things.
Load More Replies...I learned basic ASL at the age of 5 because my best friend was deaf 😑. I only knew him for 2 years until we both moves away but still...
I learned a little basic ASL with my coworkers because the bar I used to work at had a regular customer who was deaf. He was pleasantly surprised one day when we were all able to greet him and ask him what kind of sides he wanted with his burger (instead of us both pointing at options on the menu). It was a busy bar so us servers ended up using some ASL to communicate across the room, just phrases like “kitchen is closed” or “you look hot” hahaha. I’ve ended up using a few phrases I learned in the years since then, especially the alphabet. I think everyone should learn sign language :)
Load More Replies...As a Mormon, I'd like to say he is correct in how we are expected to fulfill church roles/responsibilities. We are meant also to be constantly aware of God working in our lives. (Thinking that He made those pretty flowers you saw on the way to work, for instance). This includes family. Therefore, beyond all the other extremely good reasons why these selfish parents should learn sign language to communicate with their daughter, they are expected/required to do so because God gave them a daughter who ended up needing to use sign language. Anyone going so far as to learn a new language to communicate with someone will receive blessings from Heaven. We have a geas, basically, to help others. One's own daughter is surely included. The Mormon church has made many mistakes, but this one is on the parents.
@Bouche, why is it not standard for parents who have a child in crisis (like severely injured and newly disabled) to be released from their service callings to prioritize the child? I'm not Mormon, but I'm religious and believe in service. I grew up babysitting for kids whose parents were sick, cooking meals for new mums, teaching Sunday School, etc.... but those things were not expected of me when there was a major crisis in my life. Others stepped in and took over my work so I could focus on my family and the care they needed. Demanding that parents give up their time to the church when their child is in need seems outright cruel.
Load More Replies...I learned ASL from my deaf babysitter growing up. She was an awesome lady even taught me swear words when I was a teenager lol and it really came in handy in my medical career as I was only one of two people employed in a hospital who could sign. If you have the opportunity and willingness to learn I highly recommend it. :)
Tee hee -- it kinda sounds like it was the swear words in particular that came in handy! (If so, I get it -- I'm in healthcare too. /jk)
Load More Replies...Learning sign language is hard, but learning how to read it is faster than getting fluent at making the gestures. I'd suggest this young man sign all his conversation with his parents from now on, to help them learn. Sign and speak, if they're struggling. Imersion will help. He should also go to his pastor, and point out that if god has a plan for his family, it includes his sister becoming mute, and the family learning ASL for her. Maybe the pastor can tell the parents god wants them to stop being jerks and make an honest attempt at it.
The church is getting free labor from them, so it might not be that easy. If the pastor thinks that will cause them to do less church work, he might not be supportive of them cutting back to learn ASL.
Load More Replies...I had a work colleague who was deaf, as was her husband. Both from birth. Her in-laws never learned sign language. That blows my mind. How can you have a deaf kid and never bother to learn sign language?!
You don't care about your kid if you won't learn. I think basic ASL should be a standard part of education, starting in elementary school. People who need to use ASL to communicate are often isolated because so few people know how to talk to them. It would hugely help for a more inclusive world.
Load More Replies..."If you're a faithful Mormon then you believe that God told the pastor equivalent to ask you to do a thing, so saying no is sayin no to God." How freaking convenient for the Mormon church. Ugh
Yeah, they have a pretty exploitative system. I believe in God. I am not Mormon. But I believe that God would want parents of a newly disabled child to dedicate their time and focus to learning and helping that child adapt to their new circumstances more than doing work at church. I know a non-Mormon pastor who took leave from his job to help his emotionally troubled stepson. The church didn't ask him to. He chose to do it himself because he felt that his first calling was to serve his family (he'd married a widow with children). If a pastor will do that, surely congregants should be allowed to do that.
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