The YYA comments from the people fantasizing about having control over a 16 year olds body are sad and pathetic but not surprising

Bookworm

Bookworm

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That last YTA is almost as awful as the parents in the story. S**t-shaming followed by blaming a 15-year-old for trusting her parents when they handed her papers to sign and not understanding contract legalese.

C’mon. People believe this story? The biological mother had no way to stop the adoption even though her parents made her sign the documents under false pretenses? I’m pretty sure that kind of circumstance would void the whole process. And what about the father? It's not like one parent can unanimously sign away the kid. Really, people. Stop and think before you take a story on the internet at face value.

OP's parents might say something sh!tty like "I told you we made the right decision." It could open up old wounds and cause new ones for her kids. Stay away. Living well is the best revenge.

Are the YTA responses for real? Just… what!? Insane evil people

I think the timing is suspicious. There was a whole lot of time in which OP's parents could have repaired the relationship. Also, what does 'repairing the relationship' mean exactly? Do they just want to forgive and forget so that the funeral will be less awkward because a daughter won't be there? Or do they want to acknowledge what happened and take responsibility? Or does OP's mother just wants to ease her conscience? Is this a way to ensure that OP's father will have access to his grandchildren after the funeral?

They already try that trick once, didn't they??

They only want contact to feel better about themselves and how horrible they were. Tell them to eat a bag of d**ks.

My heart breaks for you. And F them. They can rot. You are much kinder and more mature than me.

Wow some real b!tch's at the with yta, they should learn to shut the fu©k up. They don't have all the facts and I doubt very much any of them have had a child torn away from them by so called parents. You are not the a hole here, i'm so glad you have your first born back in your lives.

Oh, hell no. I could never ever speak to anyone who did something so awful and cruel. Her mum clearly doesn't care about her daughter or grandkids and just wants to feel better about herself before she kicks the bucket, she deserves to feel every bit of guilt and pain she feels now after what she did. Surely if they were tricked into signing the papers they could have got a lawyer and fought the adoption? Even 20- 30yrs ago most countries had laws to protect against things like this, my aunt gave up a baby in the 80s and was told she had 6 months to change her mind and had to sign additional papers confirming she wasn't being coerced or doing it under duress.

The YTA guy... MAGAt. Vile, evil, weirdo.

Biological father left when I was 2 or 3. Don't remember him. Came back when I was in my early 30s. Refused to see him. Everyone said I'd regret it. He's been dead for about 10 years and NO REGRETS. He was and will always be, a stranger to me.

OP should continue to go NC. They are DEAD to her.

While taking ALL the kids to see their grandparents would be great petty revenge, they have lied to and manipulated OP previously, IDK if they can be trusted on their "deathbeds" as well. I would err on the side of caution and remain NC.

If you met them they will just misinterpret you intentionally because they are desperate for forgiveness/vindication/redemption or whatever. They won’t listen to you and will continue to defend their actions, probably even use your success and your son doing well as “evidence” that they made the right choice for you and him. I don’t think you should have to endure that absolute failure to acknowledge their wrongs and their screwed up justification that they acted in your best interest. They aren’t sorry for anything and they don’t deserve the connection with you or the beautiful life you created yourself, they will try to scuff it up. Ignore them completely. Horrid people

I'll have to turn your invitation down. I just got the child back you stole from me two decades ago. I can't risk you stealing another.

I like to think that as long as we change and are truly sorry then we can be forgiven. We will all make mistakes that it will be hard for other people to forgive. However sometimes that forgiveness takes time. The worse the hurt, the longer that takes. It seems that it will take longer than a lifetime for this woman to forgive her parents, if they are truly sorry and not just wanting to tie up loose ends.

Send pictures of your family, highlighting the first born saying " This is what you missed and will never know" . Personally I would add "Rot in hell". But that's me. Then I would have your in-laws block all contact and live your best life.

I loved the commenter who suggested popping in saying Just checking that you are really on your way out

I didn't even read the comments. What a terrible thing they did. It doesn't matter what happened or would have happened. The only thing to do now is to go see a therapist asap and get help deciding what is a healthy thing to do for your family. Remember the kids are watching and learning from this too.

Where on earth did this happen? Even 24 years ago (in the US anyway) relinquishing a child for adoption is usually a pretty big deal involving social workers and going over options like closed vs semi-open vs open adoption, etc. Even when the mother is 16 i would think someone would have spoken to her about the adoption papers she was signing, and in most states there is a time period ranging from a couple days to a few weeks where you can rescind permission for relinquishment. Unfortunately, there is some shady adoption shyt as well, and it's possible that OP's parents used some super shady not-totally-legal "adoption agency" to facilitate a not-totally-legal underhanded adoption without OP's informed consent. I hope this is a fake story, but if it isn't then OP owes her "parents" not a damn thing.

They made their choice back then, to rip out the heart from their child, to rip away the child she had made plans to care for. They also made the choice to NOT be grandparents. Just send a picture of the whole happy family, with the firstborn and the proper grandparents, and write "Haven't got time for people who refused to be grandparents".

I have been NC with my parents for 25 years. When he died I didn't go to the funeral and likewise when she dies, I will not go to that funeral either. I will have zero regrets.

I don't think she needs to meet with her mother, I do believe she would do herself a favor by extending forgiveness. The act of forgiving can be just for the one forgiving. That's why I don't see the necessity for her to visit her mother. Bitterness can eat away at us like a cancer. I hope she can move on without all the hate and enjoy having her entire family together.

No. Absolutely not. They lied about the adoption and DID steal the baby. Absolutely not. No.

I agree with those who suggest she go alone (if she wants to go), without the kids. She is the one who needs/deserves closure, even if it's not the closure she wants. It would be a hugely mature and adult thing to do for HERSELF, and she "owes" them absolutely nothing. Her husband's desire to "rub their faces in it" would be a regret later on in life, IMHO. You've been okay without them so far. You'll be fine without them still.

Give the adopted child their details. Let him make his own mind up. He has the right to know where he came from and why he was adopted. Keeping him from them is just another rejection, that he doesn't need. If he'd found them first, what would the story be?! Only fair he hears all sides of his own beginnings. It's about *him* after all, not the grand/parent.

It seems she will never forgive her parents so I don't think she should go see her mother. I don't like any of the nasty suggestions that were given. The woman is dying. Please don't go and say you still hate her & will never forgive her. If she wanted to send a card with a picture of her family & say your family is complete with the addition of your 1st born &you're sorry that she is dying but don't be hateful

Don't do it for them, do it for yourself and your family for closure, there is obviously still a lot of hurt there and there will be regrets if you don't at least try to resolve them (for your wellbeing) before it's too late. A lot of people are saying not to involve your children, I think you should give them the choice to meet their grandparents especially your eldest. A chance to ask why they did what they did. Your parents made a choice for you, dont make the same mistake.... I wish you and your family all the best whatever your final decision.

I would try to see them, with all children, husband in tow. Let them see how big of a mistake they made not having this obviously beautiful and amazing family in their life all this time.

I'd write them a letter, and that'd be it.

You have to show your happy family with FOUR kids that she never got to know in her face and leave. Edit: Better yet, mail her a picture of you all to her hospital room.