Sounds fair

This is the cutest thing I've ever seen.

Wow they are tiny. This is a great moment

Mother's little helpers

Love this!

Probably because the gases were painful in her tummy?

Yes

This is hilarious

Kids Say The Darnest Things ---Art Linkletter

Good idea for dads, too!

Detangling hair with a whiny kid while you have under two minutes before you have to take your kid before care and rush off to work. I miss my daughter so much. Would give anything for another whiny morning.

I now get up some days 3 hours before I need to because I can’t stand the thought of my 19 year old going to work on an early shift without a decent breakfast. It’s only once or twice a week but I won’t stop until she goes to University in September and then I’ll miss it.

You're never too old for an Easter basket.

when I was eight I threw some slime into my closet to see if it would stick on the back wall. my poor mother.

Amen

Lady Miss Pie

Lady Miss Pie

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You know, I hate this, the idea that the only precious time with your children is when they’re young. I have an adult daughter and it is MY FAVORITE time—we’re so close and it’s so much fun.

Me

I agree w most of this but ehm, one question: how do you know that fish dont snore?

Which is why I am taking them to the US's largest snake and reptile fair next Saturday. All I said was, "That sounds interesting."

Ah man my son had colic for about a year really bad. 8+ hours straight of screaming even as an infant. Been through some crazy stuff in my life but that was extremely hard. Would hear phantom screaming for years after in a quiet room.

Weaponized incompetence is hurting women all over the globe

Here in the US, the kids just crawl under the stalls and look at OTHER people poop.

‘Means No.’ - Barbossa, Pirates of the Caribbean

Sharing is caring.

And don't forget to use protection when you're older!

"What a coincidence!"

Okay, but what is actually going on in this painting?!

A ghost or a burglar.

Put the birth control pills next to their picture. It helps.

And then gets frustrated because it doesn't work.

Honey, did you invite one of the Kardashians again?

Can relate. I’m the third of three.

You watch all the "I'll nevers" die as your child ages. The only one I kept was not letting my kid ride in those awkward to steer, filthy, plastic "racecar" carts at the grocery store. Everything else though...

Now that's funny! 😅

Looks like that modern dance about giving birth by, I think, Martha Graham.

Having cats pre-child helped a lot to get used to having no personal space. Been pooping and taking showers with an audience for years now lol

This is a reference to The Help (film and book). That's why they use is instead of are.

Add a joint and music and you'll be fine

Me from upstairs: FIGHT TO THE DEATH OFFSPRING

But then she was a savage little banshee

Both things can be true at the same time 🤷🏻‍♀️

Good night, little Reptar.

Ande wore it better

Unfortunately they use all of the senses, not just one. That way they have 5 times more chance of success.

Son was in NICU so was actually a thing. Still super sensitive to that stupid emergency beep noise. Though he's pretty much indestructible now.

My friends were at the home visit stage of getting approved to be foster parents. The county interviewer asked her children if they ever got punished, and how? 8 y/o: Mom tried to poison me once! Interviewer: oh my tell me more 8 y/o: I said a bad word once and she tried to poison me with SOAP

That's probably a good hack! Just don't drop it on the kid.

If it ain't broke, don't fix... erm, I mean...

A clear out in December is the answer. Santa won't deliver to our house if there is nowhere to put the new toys. Only works until age 8 though!

Wait until she's a teen. Trust me, I know!