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There are plenty of words to describe the 21st-century dating scene. Hilarious, awkward, exhausting, painful, headache-inducing, depressing, cursed, and sometimes even horror-movie-worthy certainly come to mind.

“You’re just searching in the wrong places!” you might say. Then, by all means, if you’ve got better spots, let us know! Because if you’re not convinced that modern romance is a battlefield, just take a peek at these conversations from real dates shared by the Instagram account ‘Overheard Dating.’ They’re… well, just scroll down and see for yourself!

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    With over 386K followers on Instagram, ‘Overheard Dating’ collects interactions people have eavesdropped on or experienced online. And since the submissions are anonymous, it keeps things light-hearted and guilt-free.

    “Dating is like a rollercoaster,” the Overheard HQ says on its website. “Sometimes it’s fun, other times you are left crying, screaming, throwing up in public. Some people fall in love, others send us dating app conversations that will make you want to launch yourself into the sun. Ah, romance!”

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    David
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    1 month ago (edited) DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Ha. I have a FWB that doesn't involve sex. We pet sit for each other, she has her packages sent to my porch (safer), I sometimes pick up prescriptions or something at Costco. I fixed her toilet and replaced some lights this summer. So yeah, benefits I guess. :)

    John Mosley
    Community Member
    1 month ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    The only thing you mentioned that even hinted at reciprocation was pet sitting. Everything else is stuff you're doing for her. If you pet sit for her, receive her packages, pick up prescriptions or groceries and work on her house you are friendzoned, not FWB. I see why she keeps you hanging around. She seems to be getting a lot out of this "friendship".

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    Thee8thsense
    Community Member
    1 month ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    I once waa called an "added value friend". My friend said having me visit meant her dishes would get washed, laundry folded and trash taken out. I think it was one of the nicest compliments I have ever received.

    michelle s
    Community Member
    1 month ago (edited) DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    I actually know what they statement means. It's a female that only gets to give him a blowjob and wonders when the sexual intercourse will get round to happening. Its the typical one sided thing!

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    Overheard HQ also runs accounts that capture everyday conversations from cities like London and LA, covering more than just dating talk. They describe themselves as “the social-first public service organization with an ear for city life and local culture.”

    “The first eavesdropper was a social-climbing Neanderthal who overheard where the best overpriced berries could be gathered. Renaissance artists shared marketplace banter on frescoes, which townspeople would tap twice to ‘like’. By the 1930s, walls were made thinner to bring overhearing to the people. Overheard continues this rich history of overhearing in our society, getting all up in other peoples’ business for the future of humankind,” the organization proudly and wittily states.

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    Glen Ellyn
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    1 month ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Well done, asking for clarification. Okay, it's funny, too. 🤭

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    But let’s get back to the topic of modern love—is it really that bad? According to the Pew Research Center, it might be. Their 2020 survey found that nearly half of Americans believe dating is harder now than it was ten years ago.

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    Of those who feel dating has become more challenging, 21% point to increased increased dangers, including both physical threats and the potential of being scammed or lied to. Others cite reasons like the impact of technology (12%), dating becoming more impersonal (10%), the rise of casual relationships (9%), and changing societal expectations around morals or gender roles (8%).

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    ThatG
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    1 month ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    He just realised that he was the only one ever initiating dinner plans. He stopped and waited for you to actually initiate… which you never did.

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    A significant part of dating today takes place online, and for many, this brings its own set of obstacles and frustrations. A 2022 U.S. study revealed that four in five adults experienced some level of emotional fatigue from using dating apps. Similarly, research from Hinge found that 61% of their users describe the dating process as “overwhelming.”

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    BeesEelsAndPups
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    1 month ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    I mean, that's fair. I would feel weird dating somebody under 25. Hell, it would be weird dating somebody under 35. But since she's asking like this, I'm guessing she isn't a middle-aged woman

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    Nathaniel He/Him Cis-Het
    Community Member
    1 month ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Well, I mean, all it does is float there, orbiting us, looks pretty sus when you think about it. What is the moon up to?

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    “Dating apps changed the digital dating landscape due to the collection of convenient features they brought to the table, which I have called ‘intimacies of convenience,’” explains Dr Rachel Katz, a digital media sociologist at the University of Salford, in an article for Vice. “They are often image-based, mobile, geolocative, use a swiping mechanism, and have a ‘consent to chat’ feature. People had an active role in choosing who they wanted to match with.”

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    Kalikima
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    1 month ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    What do you do if you don't have a gas hook up? Asking for a friend..

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    “People like the convenience these features enable,” adds Katz. “But at the same time, this convenience can also bring negative experiences: transactional language, ghosting and objectifying language. Moreover, there are fewer social ramifications to these behaviours on dating apps compared to real-life interactions—it’s possible that repeated negative experiences might lead to dating app fatigue.”

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    One tricky part of trying to find a spark online is that it’s hard to form a meaningful connection through a screen, especially when you’re not fully sure of the other person’s intentions.

    “Dating apps make initial matches text-based,” says psychotherapist and couples’ counselor Hilda Burke. “In his book Silent Messages, Professor Albert Mehrabian developed the theory that only 7 percent of meaning is communicated through what we say: 38 percent is through tone of voice, 55 percent is through body language. We are so text dependent on dating apps, we’re only getting about 7 percent of what that person means. It allows for ambiguity to develop.”

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    Helena
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    1 month ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    They'll believe anything except you have a brain and your own ambitions. That is hit or miss.

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    Another unfortunate part of today’s dating scene is how ghosting has become a common and accepted practice. It can happen in the middle of yet another chat on a dating app, or even after spending months with someone, only to suddenly find yourself blocked on social media. A study by the University of Georgia last year revealed that two out of three people have both ghosted someone and experienced being ghosted themselves.

    “People that ‘ghost’ are too afraid or too rude to address their own feelings of discomfort,” says Dr. Tirrell Degannes, Psy.D, licensed clinical psychologist in New York City. “You don’t want to be with someone that cannot comfortably address their feelings anyway; you’re better off not hearing from them. Letting go of hard feelings means appreciating the nuances that separate them from those you clearly dislike.”

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    When it comes to dealing with the ups and downs of dating, the Thriving Center Of Psych suggests that embracing these difficulties is part of the journey and can help you move forward. “Finding someone to date, opening up, and having a spark is hard, and that’s just the first part of dating. You then want to agree on important things and figure out if they are someone you can see yourself being with,” they explain. “Dating is so hard, and there are obstacles. But there’s no need to rush. Take your time, do something you enjoy, and learn to open up so that you’re ready to have an honest conversation when the time arises.”

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    Boredest Panda
    Community Member
    1 month ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    I mean sometimes it works out. I’ve see a few stories here about situations where it does work out. Also where it definitely doesn’t.

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    BeesEelsAndPups
    Community Member
    1 month ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Okay then.. I guess she's not in my dating pool. What oil would she prefer we use? I mean I use olive oil and coconut oil too, but I use them for different things. I'm not about to deep-fry something in olive or coconut oil.

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    LakotaWolf (she/her)
    Community Member
    1 month ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Well, I've never dated in Los Angeles, but I do have access to my birth certificate, so I know what time I was born as well XD

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    Khavrinen
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    1 month ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    I feel like writing prescriptions for your date would be a tad unethical. ( Depending on what it's for, but Xanax is definitely one that seems questionable. )

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    Abel
    Community Member
    1 month ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Nah, fishes need a lot of care and end dying too soon...

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    LakotaWolf (she/her)
    Community Member
    1 month ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    If you looked at my Notes app, you'd see a note with all of my pets' neck and back-length measurements in the off-chance I find a REALLY cute collar or costume that I absolutely HAVE to buy for them. I suppose seeing my Notes app WOULD tell you a lot about me, by this rubric...

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    sofacushionfort
    Community Member
    1 month ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    I met my wife when we were both at a blood mobile. She fainted and wet herself, and the nurse asked if she could wear my cardigan sweater around her waist

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    LakotaWolf (she/her)
    Community Member
    1 month ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    I don't understand. Doesn't one generally approach a buffet and take an empty plate from a stack of them near the buffet? And if the buffet is busy, one must wait their turn rather than just ramming through the other people getting food?

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