Someone Tweets, “Introduce Yourself With The Wildest Feedback You’ve Ever Received” And 50 People Don’t Hold Back
Professional feedback is one thing, but there is a special breed of person who thinks that they have some special knowledge about you that they just have to share. For your benefit, of course. At best, it’s annoying, at worst it’s so wildly off-base that you have to wonder what fantasy world they inhabit.
Content design consultant Amy Hupe started off a viral Twitter thread when she shared the most ridiculous feedback she had ever received in a creative way. She asked people to introduce themselves with the offensive things clients, coworkers, and managers had told them when trying to be “helpful.” So upvote the worst examples and comment your own terrible feedback stories below.
Bored Panda has reached out to Amy Hupe via Twitter, and we’ll update the article once we hear back from her.
More info: Twitter
Image credits: Amy_Hupe
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What. If you have something to say you should be able to say it, and if you responding quicker then the men hurts their ego, then what are they? 5 year olds?
Both scientific reviews and many of the examples listed here together disprove the notion that experience and education will somehow stop a person from saying something deeply stupid or rude to a fellow professional. One study indicated that in scientific peer review, aka how most of our research is disseminated, people will still get personal attacks from anonymous peers (hence the term peer review). This tends to happen to women in male-dominated fields or people with feminine-sounding names. It seems that being a literal scientist isn’t enough to prevent childish prejudice.
Giving useful feedback is a skill in itself, but the main predictor of its usefulness, or lack thereof, often lies on the receiving end. If the receiving person expects judgment of performance, they are less likely to actually absorb the feedback. If the feedback is perceived as a side effect of a learning experience, they tend to perform better. This has been demonstrated in a 1995 study where two groups of students were made to solve math tasks. The first group was simply told this exercise was to help them learn, the second group was told it was designed to measure their knowledge. The first group performed better.
I hope your reaction was reporting him to HR for threatening your life!
Take heart. I had it said to me by my own SON! (Happy note - since then, I have lost nearly 100 pounds, only to prove my son wrong. I'm not gorgeous. I'm old. And a Mom.)
Obviously, a smart adult will understand that feedback will happen, regardless of context. Australian academic Phillip Dawson has a few strategies he suggests to make even genuine negative feedback feel more “toothless” and, as a result, be more effective. He recommends allowing oneself to feel whatever negative emotions we naturally feel when hearing something bad. Anger, despair, whatever, just get it out of the way. Then note down whatever was said so you can learn from it when you are in a better headspace.
Equality for women is very important and something I very strongly agree with and support. It’s something going strong now, but should’ve already been common place 60 years ago. Let’s face it, men have a history of dominating women. Speaking as a man, if it wasn’t for women, there would be no men in the world.
Now, that about the many elements of useless and downright offensive feedback shared here? A true optimist would perhaps think that the feedback-giver is just trying to be helpful, whatever that means. But the focus on specific negative traits could point to the classic psychological fallacy of projection. Basically, a person who can’t really deal with their own flaws and insecurities will just “project” them onto someone else. So if a person is very concerned about their own body image, they will be the first to point out what they think might be wrong with your body! And if you are wondering, what does body image have to do with professional ability, then you are one step closer to understanding the bewilderment of some of the Tweets here.
People who don’t know you don’t get to choose who/what you are/aren’t.
homosexuals, heterosexuals, transexual, bisexuals, pansexual, and asexuals are humans. Humans are who they are. Being different is good. Being indifferent from everyone is bad. Change is good. I am a heterosexual 14 yo male. I am pro-human. I believe that humans should not be repressed for who they are, or what they are, or who they where.
thank you, you said that amazing and I really appreciate you even through the internet
Load More Replies...Tha... Wha... Huh..? Did they expect all the gays to show up in their drag regalia and start sing fighting in the lab? First off, if that happens I had better be invited, and second, do they think none of us know how working works? Just, wha...
Yeap because everyone knows that in science looking straight is the only way to make a discovery and save lives... 🤦🏻♀️
What did they expect?!? You to just strut into the lab, in a rainbow singlet, and leaving a trail of sequins behind you? One has nothing to do with the other!
The brilliant, Alan Turing, who broke the Enigma code, made the fateful mistake of calling the police after his home had been burgled. The police found him with a guest and arrested him for indecency. He was later chemically castrated. After he committed suicide by cyanide poisoning, the coroner determined that "the balance of his mind was disturbed.” What a profound declaration./s That a man, threatened and tortured by his own government was mentally "disturbed".
Hetero: But you don't LOOK asexual Me: oh ok let me change in to my ace of spades card outfit
I've been told I'm not feminine enough because I don't wear "girly" clothes or wear makeup ever and I carry myself too much like a man to be straight...11 years and 3 kids later and I'm still happily with my husband...also was told if I had been born a man I'd be gay because how much I love d**k 😂😂😂
Does that also apply to all my gay men friends who are mostly stone foxes?
I have been accused several times of being a lesbian, by men who I didn’t want to go out with. The world is full of a******s. Be true to yourself and be happy, whoever you are…Gay, straight, bi, trans, whatever…Love is Love. And a******s are a******s. Life is too short to put up with toxic a******s. Surround yourself with love. You are worthy, you matter, and you deserve it. Be proud of who you are. 💖☮️🌷
That was clearly spoken by someone that had no clue about "science". Scientists, being intelligent individuals, would be the least likely group to have an issue with someone's sexual preferences.
Well, at least they begged and didn't simply, you know... ensure that you suddenly had to do everyone else's tasks and backed up work since you obviously "had too much time on your hands"
Now, if the feedback-giver and receiver share a similar issue, field or experience, there is an argument to be made that the data could be valid. However, studies show that, for lack of a better word, the “projectors” tend to not absorb external information and just work with their own experience. Hence the downright useless and generally offensive feedback, as their primary motivation to give it comes from waiting to feel better about themselves. Simply put, projection is a defense mechanism and you are the unfortunate soul caught in the crossfire.
Sounds like the sudden feedback of "You don't sound quite right for the part of the white cheerleader"....after they see my picture and see I'm not Caucasian (and this is for a Voice role... aka: no one ever sees you). Raised in Canada, (unfortunately) can't speak any dialects of my ethnic background...yet... they... 'hear an accent'. Uh huh. I'm sure you do...
All told, it’s a pretty silly mechanism, since at best it just distracts the person from their own issue for a little while, all while sabotaging a potential relationship with another person. It’s particularly dumb because projection is a pretty well-known and documented psychological phenomenon, as a result, it only makes the person’s insecurities stand out even more. Our brains can recognize patterns and if we see someone always talking about other people’s bodies, professional abilities, or anything else, it’s safe to assume this topic is on their mind for a reason particularly, when they conflate these things with feedback. Because, as mentioned before, projecting makes them momentarily feel better about themselves, and “giving feedback” is, they think, a good way to do this without unmasking themselves.
Another teacher both ignoring a disability AND trying to stomp the drive,life, and creativity out of a young person...charming.
Any accomplishment a woman has, this line is always sputtered out. My old manager cried about how I must have slept my way to the top when I got promoted over him. I had suffered under him for almost 2 years so all I said was "You probably lost our because you're throwing a tantrum" in the most deadpan voice. And yes, our boss did hate that guy's guts and said he spent too much time talking over doing his actual work. He also passed off 50% of his duties to his employees to finish.
I know not everyone involved in hiring practices is a bad person. I have to just assume that the laws or company policies in place on workplace diversity just scare them into shady hiring practices sometimes so the numbers look good. At least I imagine that is true. Anyone out there involved with it that can correct me if I'm wrong?
Seeing as it's the norm now, it's not that big of a deal. Back in the 80's though... Jesus, we were all crucified for existing. That's the difference.
Welcome to womanhood where your ability to be taken seriously depends on your dress sense....
Okay, so...you should never just let people push you around even if they are "in a position of authority" (of course respect should be earned), however, if someone is in authority over you (ex. in an office setting) if you blatantly disregard anything they ask of you because you disagree with it then yeah you're not really going to get anywhere
So they are saying her voice is too sexy? I would love to hear a sexy voice teach me history!
Hahaha, a nice change from being told to smile more. I have resting b***h face
Keith, you should have made it clearer that you make yourself unavailable to your workplace when your wife is in labor, because I first thought you were unavailable to your wife while she was in labor.
I kind of love some of these for great insults to use, if you can't find a good moment to say "You appear so bright and intelligent, yet your so average really"
Hi, I’m Dominic and apparently I’m faking being autistic because I “don’t look disabled”. Also I’m annoying when I talk but I should also branch out to others more
Hi Dominic, I'm Nikki. My response when someone tells me I 'don't look disabled' is to say, "Well, you don't look stupid, so it's clear appearances can be deceptive." Either they apologize, or they walk away and never speak to me again. So it's a win-win. :-)
Load More Replies...Hi, I'm Chariot, and I don't need antidepressants, all I need is prayer.
...prayer for the right antidepressant at an affordable price, without side effects. Hope you're thriving, ChariotLee!
Load More Replies...Hi I’m EFH, and my womb will feel empty and I won’t fulfill my life’s purpose if I don’t have children.
Man, your poor lonely womb, should probably have a nice talk with it.
Load More Replies...WHAT? I hope that person gets a socially unacceptable, highly embarrassing rash on their butt.
Load More Replies...Hi, I'm VB and I'm too funny to be suicidal, too charming to have social anxiety, and too fat to wear this outfit.
*... too wise to listen to the prattling of self-centered fools like them.
Load More Replies...Hi, my dad told me I was to dumb to go to college. * I am a degreed mechanical engineer with a computer science minor.
Hi, I’m Mulberry Juice and I need to stop being too excited because it’s unbecoming
Hi I'm Monday and my voice sounds too young for anyone to take me seriously!
I’m Onyx and apparently I’m insubordinate for walking away from someone who is verbally abusing me instead of punching them in the face
Load More Replies...Hi I'm Alex and I'm too pretty and young to be in a wheelchair and also to clever to be as disabled as I am'
You know, my Mom had a cane with an ice tip on it. Neat little gadget with 4 sharp metal teeth. Not saying it could be used as a weapon... no siree... but she did call it an Attitude Calibration Device. 😬
Load More Replies...I am GirlFriday, and I had better marry a stupid and rich man because that is the only hope I will have of a halfway decent life. Said to me by a high school teacher.
Your high school teacher was a burnt out, jealous old cuss. Live your life your way.
Load More Replies...Hi, I was told by midwifery lecturer when I was training at uni that there was 'something fundamentally unlikeable about me'. I left the course and it took me 10 years to get any small amount of confidence I had back. I'm now a successful, happy (well-liked) nurse. I often wonder if she has any idea how damaging those words were.
She was fundamentally (and possibly clinically) depressed and demoralized. It wasn't about you... it was about her inability to cope with her challenges. Good to see you've overcome.
Load More Replies...Hi I'm crow and I'm a pervert because I use the men's bathroom! I'm also going to be a school shooter because I'm trans <3
Cannot imagine why people are so freakin' upset about what others do with their wobbly bits. It's none of their business. You deserve all good things, Crow. Live on your terms. Thrive.
Load More Replies...Hi, I'm Phoebe, and I need to marry someone dumb but reliable because otherwise my children will be autistic, and that person needs to be rich because I'll never be able to support myself otherwise. Thanks, dad...
Seems a weirdo once labeled your dad dumb but reliable. How I wish people would consider the generational effect of their dumbassery. Arrrgh... It's like being stuck in a 3 ring 🎪 circus. Hope you grab your 🍿popcorn and 🎠 ride at dawn.
Load More Replies...Hi, I am Kathy. I am too idealistic and should accept that exploitation of other humans and man made destruction is inevitable. To wish for anything more is to live in a "dream world".
We'll make that dream happen. There are too many of us. Come the revolution..
Load More Replies...I'm Shawnna. I'm the reason healthcare is so expensive in the US. This was said by my boss, a father of 7, where I was the only woman at lunch with 10 guys. I'm powerful! (20 yrs later and I still have perfect eyesight, no medical conditions/ emergencies/ surgeries... I had 2 babies easy peasy is all)
Your boss was a neanderthal in need of a brutal waxing.
Load More Replies...Wow, that's actually an emotionally rough read. I think most people can relate at least a little to every single one. Hi, I'm Joan and I have an unusual attraction to darkness. Said by my Pyschiatrist about 10yo me. I now am a Psychiatrist. :)
Hi I'm Cathy. Apparently I'm way too nice and I'm only nice because I want people to like me.
I was told I'm a PollyAnna. I still need to look that up. By the way, I like you already
Load More Replies...Hi, I'm Beruthiel and I'm too opinionated and straightforward so I should soften my opinions and not tell the truth that's staring everyone in the face.
Nope. It's their fear. It's their weakness. It's their issue, not yours.
Load More Replies...Hi I'm Rey and I'm apparently too smart to be trans. I'm also clingy and need to get my nose out of other people's business.
Wait... how can you be told to keep your nose out of their business while they're up to their judgy neck in yours?
Load More Replies...Hi, I'm Nikki, and even though my medical chart notes genetic abnormalities and a 15-year history of Sjøgren's, the only reason I'm losing my teeth is that I don't brush and floss. Because it couldn't possibly be hereditary issues and autoimmune disease. (This is why we hate you, dentists. Be less judgmental and pay more attention to your patients' medical charts.)
Sjøgren's here, too. Hope your thriving and that cussed dentist drops every one of his costly fragile tools ...point down.
Load More Replies...Hi, I'm Beatrice and I should dress more feminine*. *I have 2 toddlers at home, 2 school aged kids, and a dog. I mainly wear t-shirts and jeans.
Tell them they're darn lucky you're dressed at all. And although you manage a full schedule, you'll be happy to pencil them in for a 15 minutes next Thursday, where they can explain exactly why they think it's any of their business.
Load More Replies...Hi, I'm Cassi. While I'm technically a genius (not a term I actually like to use) I'm just a little too intimidating. I should also try hanging out with the girls, instead of the boys, because I am just too unladylike sometimes. The other girls could help me out with makeup, and I'd be so much prettier if I smiled more!
Hey Cassie, I heard that too, for much of my 70-odd years. My favorite was from USAF recruiters. I just aced the ASVAB, and only had to take ID pictures before swearing in. As a nerd girl, I wore my hair straight and my dress at knee length, no makeup. Those pervy jerks wanted me to change into a mini skirt and tight top (conveniently in their office). They even had makeup for me to use. I refused. They insisted. They got too insistent. I sprinted past them, in a not-at-all-ladylike manner, and ran all the way home. They called my parents. My parents called their senators. Checkmate. I just spent more time at my Dad's shop and became a mechanic, rigger, stagehand, electrician, OTR driver and had a great time while they froze their ribbons off in Alaska. So... define "ladylike" in your own way. (Mine is having shiny black SnapOn rollaway tool boxes that match my 4" stilettos and LBD.)
Load More Replies...Hi, I'm B, and my grey hair would turn back to brown if I ate enough black beans.
Hi, I'm Elephant, and because I don't understand some of the work I've been given in my third year of High School, I'm going to fail my English exams when I'm in my later years. Yet somehow, at the same time, I can get an above standard on the same assessment task.
Hey Eleph, sounds like you have some ineffective, possibly burnt out teachers.
Load More Replies...Hi! I'm Nat. I'm selfish, lazy, and overly emotional. My depression is fake and I can just "get over it" and being an introvert and socially anxious is just a choice that I can change by "getting out more". I'm also possessed by Satan because I was chocking in the bathroom and was hearing voices. (Parents)
Possessed? No. You're not possessed, I promise. Everything you mentioned is a health issue. You are not alone in this... so many others have similar issues. Hope you can see a counselor or doctor, even if you have to go without parent knowledge. Be safe, Nat.
Load More Replies...Hi Yvonne... you're not too sensitive. They're uncivilized and mean spirited.
Load More Replies...Hi, I'm sadmrguna, and using the German word "abnehmen" (to lose weight) as an example in a grammar lesson about separable verbs in German will make my female students anorexic.
Hi, I'm Liz, my face is too expressive and I should straighten my wavy hair to look more professional.
That’s terrible as another textured haired girl! Straightening every day is so bad for your hair!
Load More Replies...Hi, I'm Gretchen and I'm the rudest most disrespectful, foul, waste of flesh and air that will never make anything of myself because I never know what I'm talking about. (Said by my grandparents, aunts, uncles, and parents constantly) ((All but one are now dead and that one has been shut out of my life, finally [Go F yourself Jerry]))
Their words give a hint at the fears and weaknesses harbored within themselves. Thank goodness the opinions of others do not define you!
Load More Replies...Hi, I'm Nancy. If I was a better wife my ex could be a better husband. Said by my married pastor who (I later found out) was having an affair with the worship leader.
Hypocritical, two timing, narcissist. He's going to have some 'splaining to do when his god calls him home. Hope you're in a better, safer place now!
Load More Replies...Hi, I'm [REDACTED] and my seizures aren't real because I can remember them. (Said by a gp after my extensive hospital stay with the head neurologist.)
That's messed up. I hope you found a different doctor. I just had my first major tonic-clonic six months ago (had a short one previously), and after getting fully checked out, I was told that the olfactory hallucinations I've been having are also a mild form of seizures. I hope you're able to get the help you need 🤞
Load More Replies...Hi, I'm Lilly and I'm asexual, which (according to my mom) means I want my reproductive organs surgically removed. 😐
If we're removing things because people don't use them, apparently she needs her heart removed. That's rough.
Load More Replies...hi! i'm talliloo and i am an elitist snob because not only do i speak properly but i write better than my spoken word. it'a also because i have a good memory for most things - facts and trivia. in general, i shouldn't let people know this because it sends a mixed message due to me not taking myself seriously or others for that matter.
Talliloo... this sounds like a description of Robin Williams or George Carlin. Run with it... you rock.
Load More Replies...But... you are clever. More clever than she felt like coping with that day.
Load More Replies...Hi, I'm Allan. Nobody will ever love me. (Heard that twice. Once from a guy who bullied me at school. Once from my own father)
They lie. They're weak, fearful, and insecure so they lie. Suggestion for Response: "If you have an opinion about me or my life, raise your hand. Now put it over your mouth."
Load More Replies...Hi, I’m Stardust and I’m an annoying chatterbox who is a disgusting fat boy and a crybaby who is mentally and emotionally weak robot who is a dwarf going to get piercings and tattoos
Stardust... next time you see those people, throw some holy water on them. I bet they fizzle. In the mean time, be who you want to be, and thrive.
Load More Replies...Hi, I'm Corvus and I will either wind up taking over the world or end up in a nuthouse.
Hi, I'm Jeannette, and BECAUSE I'm from Holland I don't speak French. (at a job interview in Belgium, where Dutch and French is spoken. I replied in nearly perfect French that I changed my mind about this job and didn't want it anymore. It is a strong prejudice in Belgium that the Dutch education is bad, and especially the french language education. I know I was privileged to have a very good teacher. Until today I am sure that my French at the time was better than that of the job interviewer and it became even better since.)
Hi I'm Katie and I write like a man. Whatever the hell that means.
Act surprised that they can read. Make a big deal out of it. Congratulate them on their accomplishment!
Load More Replies...Once a teacher said to me; " you are like a candy, beautiful on the outside but disapointing sour on the inside."
I was about to downvote you just because I disagree with your teacher lol. I do that sometimes. Someone mentions something negative and I go “DISAGREE” when their whole comment was about how they disagree with that thing
Load More Replies...Hi, I'm a gay cat man, and apparently, I'm not... trans... because my family is... a bunch of right-wing sociopaths... (also my hair is 'too punk' for me to be smart... i was in g&t classes my whole life and I'm not smart because I bleached my hair once. also, I need to be 'more coachable' what in the name of hell does that mean)
Your family does not have the right to define you. I don't know about their holy book, but my Bible very strongly cautions them to not judge others. They're not qualified to judge others because they're ...wait for it ... ... ...imperfect.
Load More Replies...Hi. I'm Viktorija, and am so pale, that I have most likely never worked in my life, ever. (Said to me at the end of day 4 of 12 hour shift while pushing a cart with 100 kg of goods to restock by random stranger at the shop).
I think Elon Musk has some of those nifty small flame throwers left for sale... that would shut 'em up.
Load More Replies...Hi I'm Maxime, and I was smiling to much so it's for that I didn't get a promotion. Even by being the best employee or the year. Because you know, if you are smiling, you can't be serious...
Nah... you didn't get the promotion because they were worried you'd get their job. Your professionalism intimidated them.
Load More Replies...Hi, I'm mostly here for the comments. Nice to meet you a little bit, pandas. I'm sorry for the mean things people have said, try to remember that these kinds of comments usually reflect more on the person saying them
This is the most engaging post I've seen on BP. It's so very cool to get an insight to the names I see every day... and realize how much we have in common across 3 or 4 generations.
Load More Replies...Hi, I'm Hugo, a portuguese living in Brazil and, apparently, I speak portuguese very well for a foreigner...
I'm rumple. I'm a reverse racist who started the war on Christmas and my hands are distractingly sexual.
Reverse racist? Like, someone who likes everyone regardless of skin tone? Heck, we should all strive to be reverse racists!
Load More Replies...Hi, I'm Lee. I should never have gotten tattooed, because when I have kids my "tits will look like tomato plants".
_| ̄|○' can't ...breathe ...laughing! As a woman with ink, that tomato plant comment made me snorkel my coffee. Thank you for the best laugh in days.
Load More Replies...Hi I'm Mrs H and it's people like me that caused 9/11. People like me who had asked their neighbors to move their barbecue off the literal street which was an emergency route in our town. Sorry folks
If I facepalmed any harder over that 9/11 comment, my wrinkles would slide to the back of my head... sounds like too many dives were taken into the shallow end of their gene pool.
Load More Replies...Hi, I'm Pat, and I didn't live up to my potential. Said to me by my father, who followed it with "I always thought you'd be pretty." I was 13. But revenge is a dish best eaten cold, and many years later, when yet another of his harebrained schemes failed and he asked me for money, I said "Wow. You've really failed to live up to your potential!. And...no."
Hi, I'm Aboredpanda, and I'm too pretty to have a job. I should find a husband who can support me. I talk too much, and I come off as too strong and opinionated and that might scare men away. I'm a punkrocker undercover at my workplace, but it's okay because I'm better than the communists undercover there.
Hi, I'm Rae and I should wear some nice make up to work (as a diesel mechanic). or I should really learn to dress more professionally (that one came from the PTA president after I showed up in work books, jeans, and a tee shirt to help set up a school dance.)
Saluting the newest generation of women who wrench.... may your career bring sweet satisfaction and well deserved recognition... with equal pay. If anyone hides your tools like they did mine, weld their toolbox shut. ✌️
Load More Replies...Hi, I should smile more when I'm at the gym or I'm going to scare people away.
I've yet to see a man smile while running or lifting weights. Maybe respond to them with a grimace and USMC pt chant. Bet they step back.
Load More Replies...Hi, I'm M, and I'm short, obese and somewhat well-groomed. :'-) Official description of my appearance in the file a therapist put together two years ago. I'm happy to report that I am no longer obese. However, I'm still short and probably still "somewhat well-groomed".
Good job on the weight loss! (I assume it was intentional) And i, too, would probably be considered somewhat well-groomed (at best) 😂
Load More Replies...Hi, i’m Natasha and I shouldn’t wear dresses or like pink girly things because i’m helping the patriarchy.
Who gives a raggedy rats a** about the patriarchy when a beautiful boho skirt is 30% off? Have you seen those Mary Janes by Hot Chocolate! Dang, tell them to take that Wharton implant out of their stiff neck. Maybe go camping. It's cathartic.
Load More Replies...I have one....Hi I'm Dina and l act too Greek and that's why people don't like me.
Hey, I'm German enough to get mad and Irish enough to stay there. Being Greek would be pretty freakin' awesome. Also: peaceful.
Load More Replies...The unmitigated gall of some people to express opinions about another persons ability, appearence, attitiude. Just appalling.
That's why Bob Segar ...and then Metallica ...had such a hit with "Turn The Page." Dad and I were often judged for our appearance because we got pretty grubby climbing under and over stages, auditorium catwalks, and working with cables and motors. Dad looked like a short little hobo but was master electrician, master mechanic, and among great Swing Era musicians. He came up with his friends (Sinatra, Hope, Astaire, Cavanaugh) that included song and dance man Buddy Ebsen (who went on to make Beverly Hillbillies a hit for just this reason). Mr. Ebsen and Dad made routine where Dad played part of inept, goofy stagehand that kept interrupting Mr. Ebsen's monologue, singing. During skit, Dad wheeled out a big canvas bin with props. At end, he reached into the bin ...almost fell in ...and pulled out a trumpet. Looked at the audience ... and launched into a stupendous version of When The Saints Go Marching In. The audience went berserk. 😂
Load More Replies...Hi I'm Jen, and although I'm very bright, I talk too much and distract other students from learning. 1st kindergarten report card. To this day, every employee review still mentions being less wordy in my emails. Apparently I can't edit myself down, because I'm Jen, and I talk too much.
hi I'm day and I deserve the weird looks I get for using my wheelchair in public since I don't look disabled and I should get a blepharoplasty done so my eyes look "normal" and "more approachable" since I look like I'm "mocking chinese people" (edited and deleted a previous reply just to combine the two)
G'morning Day! How dare you be independent and happy without their approval! /s People are so weird. Especially nosy busybodies with shallow, unfulfilling lives. Ever see a gurn contest? Contestants make the goofiest faces ...that's my go-to response when people stare at my damaged face. Love watching their reactions.
Load More Replies...Hi, I'm Julia. I couldn't analyze myself out of a cardboard box. I am an analyst and most are happy with my work...but there was one manager who made the team miserable for a couple years
As an analyst, you'd be smart enough to not get stuck in a cardboard box in the first place.
Load More Replies...Hi. I'm Allie. I'm a big, ugly, fat worthless cow. But yes, my teeth are real.
you're not a big fat ugly worthless cow. You're a perfectly normal human... with teeth ig (that last part just seems kinda stupid to say as an insult even)
Load More Replies...Hi am Katie and I need to delegate to other members of staff and let them grow ! When I am only trying to be helpful ! Haha the minute you delegate then they take all the glory and get the promotions !!!
Hi I’m M, & apparently hold myself to such a high standard it must be exhausting, yet I’m not meeting the 100% accuracy & issue resolution w/in mandatory timeframe. (From the same manager…ummmm, okay. My standards are too high but not high enough….).
Sounds like your manager has parked their butt behind a desk for so long they now think in bullet points. No continuity. No logic. Just random bullet points.
Load More Replies...Hi, I'm Em and I'm intelligent, for a fat person and I'm a terrible person for teaching my kids that they have the right to question adults, rather than blindly believing them. I also don't deserve to live because I am chronically ill and disabled.
Hiya Em! In D&D, I'd say you crossed paths with an Arcanian... a chaotic evil character with destructive powers. Green arcanians despise beautiful beings and single them out for victimization. Red arcanians just want to see the world burn. Just awaken your inner Paladin. You have all that's good on your side.
Load More Replies...Hi I'm A and I taught a fellow student that they can bore anyone even when they have interesting things to say. This was said in front of my entire senior English class during an exercise where we all went around the room and told everyone what things we had learned from each person. Every single other comment was nice to every other person. OH also according to a other kid In same class, I'm going to hell for being a Lutheran and not a Baptist. I haven't been to any reunions.
It's impossible for God to be half as petty as humans.
Load More Replies...Hi I'm Tricia and I'm a viscous little one. According to the next door neighbour after I bit his 5 year old son on the cheek. I was three. (And still bite ;) )
"...and still bite" Haaaahaha! Thank you for the first laugh of the day.
Load More Replies...That's a superpower. If I could do that, I'd never again run out of coffee or cookies.
Load More Replies...I had to stop reading. Especially the comments being made to women are shocking to me. How can anyone talk or think this way? I know some of these comments are probably from awhile ago, but STILL! It's awful!
Turn it around: each insult can be an opportunity to REALLY understand who we are, that we are worth more more than their single syllable minds can express.
Load More Replies...Hi, I'm pineapple, and I'm inflexible for not being at the office by 9am after being told it was okay for me to work from 10 to 6. I should also use smiley faces in my emails when I remind people to do the job they were supposed to have finished three days ago, so they don't feel threatened by me.
Hi, I'm Zane, and I'm purposely making myself an easy target for bullies by not trying hard enough to make friends with them, therefore being an attention whore and playing the victim, all because my parents didn't hold me enough as a baby! ... some people should NOT be school counselors
Was that counselor ever a kid? Because kids know bullies are gonna bully and efforts to befriend them will not derail their dastardly plans. Sounds like they need some Preparation H, to soothe what's really bothering them after sitting behind a desk for 20 years.
Load More Replies...Hi I'm Lydia and I'm "too young to possibly have a crush on a girl”…. Said to me by my mother at age 12
Our heart will follow whatever path it darn well pleases, and it does not care one whit about 'tradition' or societal mores.
Load More Replies...Hi, I'm Andrea and I will be a deadbeat, never amounting to anything, and I paid for a college degree instead of earning it. All said to me in 9th grade by my guidance counselor when I asked him how to get into vet school. I believed him and never tried to go after my dream. Now I'm in grad school working toward a Master's in Social Work, to go along with my BA in Psychology and my MS in Human Services. I also have a 4.0.
Living well is always the best revenge. Congrats on that 4.0!
Load More Replies...Hi I'm Jill, and sadly I'm aggressive. I show my aggression by sometimes having opinions that I refuse to back down on. :(
Translation from IncelSpeak to English: Jill, I'm awed by your intellect and cowed by your beautifully independent spirit.
Load More Replies...Only way to get street smart is be on the street. It's hard. Every pore is hyper vigilant and focused on survival. Absolutely nothing wrong with not being street smart, unless you're in that territory... and then intuition is your best friend.
Load More Replies...Hi, I’m Nikole and I think I’m a lot smarter than I actually am in addition to simultaneously being either too skinny or needing to drop a few pounds.
Hi, I'm Rainbow and I'm a merry widow (I lost my husband in my 30s and most days I'd do my best to put on a brave face.)
Merry Widow?! Now there's an expression I haven't heard since I was a kid. In the 1950s. But I digress... hope you're thriving despite the opinionated weirdos. Nurture peace.
Load More Replies...Hi, I'm Silre. I apparently try to intimidate adults (1st grade teacher) and I'm not good enough to do my job so I might as well just stop trying to get a better one (my boss at my former job)
Intimidate adults? At age 6?! That teacher must have been a weak, ineffectual person.
Load More Replies...Hi I'm justine. and I always look better in pictures than in real life haha ^^ and that comment was made years ago before filters existed !
Some people are crazy, some are mean, others just can't see beauty in anyone because they don't see it in themselves. You're lovely. Enjoy your life!
Load More Replies...Every other week I remeber that Bored Panda exists and go chekc out some cool posts. Then, eventually, I read so mayn posts that make me hate humanity that I close the page again. Then. a week or tow later, I've forgotten about it and check it out, again. Hi, I'm Kathinka. I just want to punch somone, right now and, apparently, I cannot learn from experience.
Humans are gonna do stupid human stuff, usually from weaknesses and fears. Use their dumbassery to build new strengths and rise above it all.
Load More Replies...Hi, I'm Krissy, and I don't know how I got as big as I am and I shouldn't be a doctor, I should be a nurse and it's nice that I married my husband but we shouldn't have kids together.
"Are you ok? You seem to have some slurring of speech and a facial tic? I'm calling an ambulance... * That should shut 'em up.
Load More Replies...Mildly? Does that mean they expect you to step up your game and be more intimidating?
Load More Replies...Hi I'm Elio and I need to get married to set a good example (??!!!) because gay marriage is legal now. I need to adopt 2.5+ kids too, again to "set a good example" and because it's legal for a gay couple to adopt. But at the same time, if I did want to adopt kids, I'm a groomer. (I'm not even in a relationship and don't want kids. Being gay is free birth control.)
"Being gay is free birth control." Hadn't thought about it that way ... and now I wonder why they shoveled that stale word salad into your path? Bet they were mired in regrets about their own life. No is a complete sentence. You can preface it with haaaaahahaha!
Load More Replies...On the topic of terrible things people have said to others: There was an applied skills para who told a third grader, "I'm surprised anyone likes you. I'm surprised you have friends." Like what the actual fuhck.
That para likely triggered by some innocent act to recall an incident from their childhood...something hurtful they were told as a kid. That, or their two-syllable mind is overwhelmed and imploding in the wrong career.
Load More Replies...Hi, I'm Hanna and I'm "unapproachable and intimidating when stressed". It's unintentional but probably works to my advantage!
Hey Hanna! Seems you encountered the legendary Wuss. Sightings were rare for decades but their numbers appear to be recovering. It's best to avoid contact, but if one breaks cover and crosses your path do not engage. Their wailing and moaning is unpleasant and may lead to hearing damage. Best defense: look them up and down, gently shake your head as you walk away. See also: milksop of yore.
Load More Replies...Hi, I'm Isa, and I need to stop dressing like a boy because it'll confuse people and condemn me to eternal suffering.
Are people still saying this? I heard this in the 1950s... man, some people need to educate themselves because we're good just the way we are.
Load More Replies...What your date really meant: Jennifer, you're so far above my pay grade that I felt woefully unprepared for social discourse and, after careful consideration, I realize my immaturity and shallow personality could not provide the satisfaction and serenity necessary for a thriving friendship. In truth, I am a coward and you deserve so much more than I can muster.
Load More Replies...Meow. I'm Bouche. I am Mama's pretty girl, whatever that means. I'm also Bouchie Butt, Bouchity Bouchity Bouche Bouche Bouche. I'm mighty kittencat, mrpy, you absolute idgit, silly little kitten, precious, and get down!
Hi. I'm Shyla. I'm a barely adequate soft can-opener.
Load More Replies...Hi, I'm Michelle and I am a heartless robot according to my mom. I am less educated than dogs, unteachable, and stupid with handwriting worse than kindergarteners. I am the fault for my mother's failed relationships, and I should be more like my younger brother. Maybe if I practiced more my hands wouldn't shake, my poor handwriting would be better and my hands wouldn't hurt just holding a pen. I am lazy, and not autistic, I just wasn't beat enough as a kid.
G'morning Michelle! As a great-grandma I outrank your mama. I think you're articulate, empathetic, disciplined, lovely, and have strengths you've not yet discovered. Those of us in the Illegible Scrawl Club welcome you to our ranks! You will find kindred spirits here including doctors, scientists, and at least one old roadie who finds holding pens, pencils, and wrenches an ...ahhhh ...exercise in vocabulary enrichment. I, too, have been blamed for the failures of others... but they lie. They had charge of their mind and their emotions, not me. The weirdos. Anyway... welcome to the ranks. Enjoy your life on your terms.
Load More Replies...Hi, I'm Susan and my confidence is intimidating to men and I've proven I don't need one so none of them want to date me. I'm good at everything I do and sometimes I need to fail at something to make others feel better. I cuss too much. I'm smart and others feel stupid around me. Sometimes I need to slow down at work and not jump in to solve a problem even though I have the solution. I need to let others take the lead sometimes. Um. Nope. F**k you. Screw you. Suck it. Get over yourself. I'm not waiting on your slow a*s to come to the conclusion I already have for 15 minutes, two weeks or however much later. I refuse to lower or belittle myself to make your sad a*s feel better. That's not my job or responsibility. That's YOURS.
BRAVO! You are so much more than the random thoughts bobbing around in their shallow mind.
Load More Replies...Hi I'm Littlemiss, and I'm such an awful teacher I don't deserve to use the title. I'm also incapable of following instructions, a bad role model for sharing food with hungry children. Of course this came from a person who was known for theft, pathological lying piece of shite who only had a job because she was family.
Oooh, you have crossed paths with the infamous Narcissist. Wanna see them have a meltdown? Respond to their buffoonery with 4 words: "I do not accept that." For added fun, preface it with the word "No."
Load More Replies...That's a good thing, yes? He had a pretty good mind that explored societies foibles and his stories made interesting reading.
Load More Replies...Heyo, I'm Rowan and everyday I get closer and closer to a white padded room and grippy socks Said to me by none other than my aunt and uncle (legally mom and dad)
G'day Rowan ...seems the parentals are using you as a scapegoat for their own issues. Weak people always blame others. It's not about *you. It never was. Their erratic emotions do not define you. Do what you need to do until you can GTFO of their control so you can be who you want to be. Nurture peace, friend.
Load More Replies...Hi, I'm Rae and the fact that I broke my leg is no excuse for not running a lap around the field like the rest of the kids. (Elementary school gym teacher. He made me do 3 laps around the field instead of one since it took me much longer than everyone else I was being 'lazy'. Reader, I was on a pair of crutches I had only figured out how to operate 3 days before.)
Alternatively: Hi, I'm Rae and I'm just saying that I'm asexual and don't want kids for the attention, and one day I'll find "The One" and I'll settle down and have a family of my own
Load More Replies...So, a coward was intimidated by you and insults were the only words his two brain cells could muster. They lied to cover their own shortcomings. Laugh and walk around 'em.
Load More Replies...Hi, I'm Annette and not only do I have a beautiful aura but I'm also the scariest b***h on the face of the earth. (those were were from 2 different people)
Beautiful auras come from a place of strength and serenity. If they were intimidated, they should reclassify time spent monitoring you to a bit of self work.
Load More Replies...Hi, I’m Scarlett and I’m an ugly, poor, (insert r-slur here), little b***h who’s too ugly to ever get a man, too skinny to be pretty, the skeleton b***h who’d people rather kill themselves then f**k, antisocial, talks too much, weird, annoying, b****y, useless, lazy, piece of s**t, f*****g b***h, that, and it.
I've got PLENTY of fat I'd be happy to share with you, if you'd want some.
Load More Replies...I'm Colin. Depending on who you talk to you'll hear different things. My teachers to my parents "he's not living up to his potential". The magistrate, after showing no remorse for punching someone in the face because they were bullying a smaller, younger person in school, "the young man will go no where in life due to his lack of remorse". My old boss "you need to exhibit more diplomacy". Since those comments I worked as a licensed tradesman, been diagnosed with ADHD, anxiety, depression and autism. Oh, and I'm a professor teaching CAD and 3D printing at the local college.
Professor!! Wow! How perfectly wonderful is that after all the grief shoveled on your childhood. Heartfelt congratulations.
Load More Replies...Not an insult but bizarrely off the mark: I'm Sheila and I'm a ray of sunshine
It's only contrary if the F word precedes it. Otherwise, you are a bearer of light and warmth. Carry on!
Load More Replies...Hi I am Jennifer and, despite working for a pop culture company, I should keep my knowledge of pop culture to myself because it's not needed in meetings.... about pop culture....
Oooh... somebody at your meeting was unprepared and embarrassed by their lack of knowledge.
Load More Replies...Hi, I'm Penny. I'm a very bright girl but you never quite know what's going on behind those big green eyes. Said by a maths teacher to my father at a parent-teacher evening. I was 14.
Sounds like that teacher was getting a bit too close. Yikes!
Load More Replies...Hi, I’m Susan and if I am having mental health struggles after returning from deployment from Iraq, I should “throw some money at it”. (said to me by a therapist when I was too overwhelmed and distraught to get through the day… she thought I’d be fine if I went shopping & got a pedicure)
Oh good grief... 😑 My first experience was with a VA psychiatrist on a locked ward. He walked in, paused, and announced I was the reincarnation of his long dead love and my (unplanned) arrival was answer to his prayers. ☠️ Both our doctors won their degrees in Cracker Jacks.
Load More Replies...Hi, I'm Tessa and I dress "too wh*re-ish." Apparently collarbone showing = wh*re-ish. This was from a coworker old enough to be my mom, while she was sulking because a customer had complimented my outfit and hadn't said anything to her.
Poor woman must have felt so insecure and so unloved. If it's any consolation, my preacher's wife stapled crêpe paper to the hem of my skirt ...to hide my bony 15 year old knees. 😂☠️
Load More Replies...Hi, I'm Dan and if I would just apply myself, I might accomplish great things.
Apply yourself to what, a wall.. like paint or something? I have questions.
Load More Replies...Hi. I'm Dave and I think most people are stupid and only survive by sheer blind luck. Also, they should not reproduce and pass on the genes for stupidity.
...*But I think most are only stupid because they had no role models and-or came up through violent and desperately poor neighborhoods. No one cared enough to pull them out of that generational muck. Fortunately, my kids put a lot of work into raising me and erasing most traces of the dumbassery I once nurtured.
Load More Replies...Hi I’m Liz and I’m “ehh a C student” (from my 2nd grade teacher to my mother) and I “make people uncomfortable when I’m quiet” (from one of my floor-mates in the dorm)
Nope. You cannot make people uncomfortable... it's their mind, they're in control of it.
Load More Replies...Hi, I'm April, and I'm wasteful, immature, and lacking in common sense. (This was feedback from a fellow Panda when I commented I had trouble peeling the stickers off produce. 🙃)
You know, most of us are pretty chill but some are really REALLY insecure and compensate by criticizing others. It's not about you... never was... it's about their issues. Or maybe their caffeine levels have dropped critically low. It's hard to say with internet stuff.
Load More Replies...Hi, I'm Gin, and I'm a fat pig, and nobody is ever gonna love me, because I made a suprise pie for my coming-back-from-vacation parents. (Thanks, grandma!) 🙄
Granny was dipping into her special rum stashed way back in the closet by the fruit cakes. It obviously affected her vision and judgment. You're perfect just the way you are... go with that.
Load More Replies...Hi, I'm Nicol and apparently I'm an alcoholic and attention seeker because I have piercings, even though you can hardly see them.
Ha! Fooled them! I was an alcoholic long before I had piercings and ink.
Load More Replies...Hi, I'm Wysteria Rose, and I seem like a nice person but am too rigid and cold in demeanor to work with children. Their parents would be uncomfortable with me. (Since receiving this lovely feedback for a volunteer position, I have worked as a children's camp attendant, a small classroom volunteer, and have not had anyone scared of me working with their kids).
If you want the parents to be afraid of you, you must sneak up behind them and yell BOO!
Load More Replies...One from the second grade, said to me by one of my best friends (both were guys): People would rather not sit next to me because I'm too fat. Didn't talk to him much after that, but my other best friend refused to sit with him after that and instead chose to sit with me. Both a good and bad memory that's stuck with me for years lol.
I was too skinny. All knees and elbows with no curves. There's just no making people happy. Screw 'em. Do what makes you happy.
Load More Replies...Hi, I'm Dipshit, Idiotassholemoronfuckwit. and i don't know my butth0le from a kumquat.
Hi I'm colle, and I don't look like the sort person who likes/works with children ( I'm a childminder)
Tell them Mary Poppins took the last flight out, Nanny McPhee is booked, and Mrs. Doubtfire was promoted out of the area. You're the new superstar.
Load More Replies...I'd want to reply to the people who said those things with something like "You know people told me you were an arsehole but you're not, you're just a c.u.n.t."
Wait, how does a cvnt compare with an azshole though?
Load More Replies...Hi, I'm TheElementalGod, and I'm about as bright as a sack of potatoes.
Hi! I’m Melissa and I’m an “uhh, sir, uhh..ma’am..uhh..whatever you are.” …because that’s something completely okay to say to someone’s face! Imagine me, a woman with short hair, blowing that guy’s MIND that day to forget what humans are!
That neanderthal... no wonder his subspecies went extinct.
Load More Replies...I'm R, I'm too young to be disabled. Too fat and old to be a prostitute and must be one because I have big boobs (all three said by one person within half and hour of meeting. Neither of the latter two are true)
Sounds like his grandparents had too much acid in the '60s. ☠️
Load More Replies...Hi, I'm Dawn and I am Satan's daughter because I spit out the wine at my first Holy Communion and cried because "That's booze, not blood!"
Ahhhahaha! That's the greatest thing I've read this week. I can imagine their reactions 😂
Load More Replies...Long form ROCKS. It's absolutely the best way to go! Take what you like from the critics and toss the rest. It's nothing more than random thoughts bobbing around in someone's mind.
Load More Replies...Ooo, the bitter taste of misogyny and sexism in my mouth is delicious 🙄
Oooh... throw in some ageism and classism for a salty finish. I'll go get a torch from my toolbox and we can have flambé.
Load More Replies...Hi I'm Trinity and my parents DO respect and understand how I feel (I'm ADHD & ASD) but I need to stop overreacting to everything (ex. people chewing, loud, sudden noises, textures of certain things, so on and so forth...). 😮💨 My dad is literally ADHD, and my mom is most likely as well... *facepalms*
If you figure out a way to stop reacting to those things... let me know. Music helps... certain frequencies in the background for alpha, delta, or theta waves tend to block out those noises and aid serenity. Might take some experimenting to see what combinations you like... but it's worked for me. It might even work for your parents! Being a parent is weird tho... results may vary. lol
Load More Replies...Hi, I’m Linda and I’m a Korean-American who can “speak English real good” but isn’t making the best use of my ethnic background because I’m a terrible cleaner.
Hello there! I'm a knitter who acts 96, looks 12 and can't possibly be bi because the *two* relationships I've been in were with men.
Hi Knitter! I'm an old roadie who looks 96, acts 12, and can't possibly work on transmissions because I'm a girl. Pleased to meet you!
Load More Replies...For a casting to be the grandfather of Romain Duris, they found that the actor, Pierre Gérald, was a little too young. He asked how old they thought he was. They replied about 60 years old... He laughed and exclaimed "I'm a little over 40 years older...!" He was 99 years old!
Hi I'm Sara and I'm lazy (written from bed as I dared to drag myself out to an event yesterday)
Hi Sara, if you were lazy you would not have planned, scheduled, paid for tickets, traveled to the event, and partied to the wee hours. Now you're just recharging. Carry on!
Load More Replies...Hiya Connie... your dad had a part in your upbringing, so that rebellious streak was programmed in... right? Of course, it might have been a subconscious thing to keep weirdos away from his daughter! ✌️
Load More Replies...Where do I begin... maybe with one of those nifty, backpack size flame throwers. 🔥 Your boobs would tumble to the bottom of their list of concerns.
Load More Replies...Hi, I'm Luna, and I'm too laissez faire, also I drink to substitute my lack of personality
Heck, anyone that feels the need to criticize people needs to work on their own personality. Maybe a good craft beer would help.
Load More Replies...Nah. Their inability to cope is no reflection on you. Also: they need to travel more... uograde their knowledge and character.
Load More Replies...Hello. I'm Blarrg and I'm the first really smart person who believes in God that my client had met. Uh, thanks?
Ha! People that think science and faith are mutually exclusive are hard to talk to, often refusing to even consider an alternative to their rigid mindset. Quite a few great minds have believed, and many still do.
Load More Replies...Greetings. I'm Ginger (not my real name btw) and I should intentionally expose myself to known migraine triggers to desensitise myself.
No no no... migraines are grumpy beasts that really hate being poked and prodded!
Load More Replies...Hi I'm Nathan, and on the day after a mass shooting it's pretty surprising to my boss that I made it to work. The implication being that I was the shooter.
I'm Mary and I'm stupid. Also I'm going to break my neck. This is what they told me 60 years ago. I'm 64 now, neck still unbroken. The stupid part though, yeah.
Hi, Ria! May as well embrace it. Heard the same cautions about breaking my uncoordinated neck so often that I'm becoming a family legend for muttering things like : "You win again, Gravity!" or "Dang Gravity %*&!"
Load More Replies...Hi, I’m Calissa. I do not socialize enough, I act really dumb for a “smart” person, and I am unbelievably judgmental and narrow-minded. I also don’t know what I’m talking about half the time, look more like myself/prettier with glasses on (covers my hawk nose? Search it if you don’t know) and for a quiet person I have really good things to say. Oh yeah, I also have stupid tastes in music and the artists. ONE LAST THING, quote by my great grandma: “you have such pretty hair and a pretty body! I’m sure all the boys come after you, huh?” Que my dad: “What? Grandma! She’s not dating until she’s 35!”
Hiya Calissa... what's this about music?! There is no such thing as 'stupid tastes in music.' Impossible! Even Baby Shark was kinda catchy. And a message for your dad: lol good luck with that, sir! Signed, Great-Grandma Roadie.
Load More Replies...Hi, I'm Inge and you just can't have customers seeing me (in a not customers facing position other than by phone, this is how I learned my boss hates fatties. Sadly, not said to me directly and have no proof but have enough reasons to believe he said that.) Also, I'm a fool doing OT knowing I was going to be laid off (same boss, small industry and would in a new position face the same customers I was helping out now...)
Hi I'm Agnes...I look kind of angry and should smile, to be more approachable. Because it seems totally natural, to stand around smiling... Seems I'll have to look a lot angrier in order not to get approached by idiots, telling me to smile.
Some of these are not so wild, and could definitely be true. Just bc you don't like what someone says to you, doesn't mean they lie. On the other hand, no reason to be rude to anyone.
Hi, I’m Dominic and apparently I’m faking being autistic because I “don’t look disabled”. Also I’m annoying when I talk but I should also branch out to others more
Hi Dominic, I'm Nikki. My response when someone tells me I 'don't look disabled' is to say, "Well, you don't look stupid, so it's clear appearances can be deceptive." Either they apologize, or they walk away and never speak to me again. So it's a win-win. :-)
Load More Replies...Hi, I'm Chariot, and I don't need antidepressants, all I need is prayer.
...prayer for the right antidepressant at an affordable price, without side effects. Hope you're thriving, ChariotLee!
Load More Replies...Hi I’m EFH, and my womb will feel empty and I won’t fulfill my life’s purpose if I don’t have children.
Man, your poor lonely womb, should probably have a nice talk with it.
Load More Replies...WHAT? I hope that person gets a socially unacceptable, highly embarrassing rash on their butt.
Load More Replies...Hi, I'm VB and I'm too funny to be suicidal, too charming to have social anxiety, and too fat to wear this outfit.
*... too wise to listen to the prattling of self-centered fools like them.
Load More Replies...Hi, my dad told me I was to dumb to go to college. * I am a degreed mechanical engineer with a computer science minor.
Hi, I’m Mulberry Juice and I need to stop being too excited because it’s unbecoming
Hi I'm Monday and my voice sounds too young for anyone to take me seriously!
I’m Onyx and apparently I’m insubordinate for walking away from someone who is verbally abusing me instead of punching them in the face
Load More Replies...Hi I'm Alex and I'm too pretty and young to be in a wheelchair and also to clever to be as disabled as I am'
You know, my Mom had a cane with an ice tip on it. Neat little gadget with 4 sharp metal teeth. Not saying it could be used as a weapon... no siree... but she did call it an Attitude Calibration Device. 😬
Load More Replies...I am GirlFriday, and I had better marry a stupid and rich man because that is the only hope I will have of a halfway decent life. Said to me by a high school teacher.
Your high school teacher was a burnt out, jealous old cuss. Live your life your way.
Load More Replies...Hi, I was told by midwifery lecturer when I was training at uni that there was 'something fundamentally unlikeable about me'. I left the course and it took me 10 years to get any small amount of confidence I had back. I'm now a successful, happy (well-liked) nurse. I often wonder if she has any idea how damaging those words were.
She was fundamentally (and possibly clinically) depressed and demoralized. It wasn't about you... it was about her inability to cope with her challenges. Good to see you've overcome.
Load More Replies...Hi I'm crow and I'm a pervert because I use the men's bathroom! I'm also going to be a school shooter because I'm trans <3
Cannot imagine why people are so freakin' upset about what others do with their wobbly bits. It's none of their business. You deserve all good things, Crow. Live on your terms. Thrive.
Load More Replies...Hi, I'm Phoebe, and I need to marry someone dumb but reliable because otherwise my children will be autistic, and that person needs to be rich because I'll never be able to support myself otherwise. Thanks, dad...
Seems a weirdo once labeled your dad dumb but reliable. How I wish people would consider the generational effect of their dumbassery. Arrrgh... It's like being stuck in a 3 ring 🎪 circus. Hope you grab your 🍿popcorn and 🎠 ride at dawn.
Load More Replies...Hi, I am Kathy. I am too idealistic and should accept that exploitation of other humans and man made destruction is inevitable. To wish for anything more is to live in a "dream world".
We'll make that dream happen. There are too many of us. Come the revolution..
Load More Replies...I'm Shawnna. I'm the reason healthcare is so expensive in the US. This was said by my boss, a father of 7, where I was the only woman at lunch with 10 guys. I'm powerful! (20 yrs later and I still have perfect eyesight, no medical conditions/ emergencies/ surgeries... I had 2 babies easy peasy is all)
Your boss was a neanderthal in need of a brutal waxing.
Load More Replies...Wow, that's actually an emotionally rough read. I think most people can relate at least a little to every single one. Hi, I'm Joan and I have an unusual attraction to darkness. Said by my Pyschiatrist about 10yo me. I now am a Psychiatrist. :)
Hi I'm Cathy. Apparently I'm way too nice and I'm only nice because I want people to like me.
I was told I'm a PollyAnna. I still need to look that up. By the way, I like you already
Load More Replies...Hi, I'm Beruthiel and I'm too opinionated and straightforward so I should soften my opinions and not tell the truth that's staring everyone in the face.
Nope. It's their fear. It's their weakness. It's their issue, not yours.
Load More Replies...Hi I'm Rey and I'm apparently too smart to be trans. I'm also clingy and need to get my nose out of other people's business.
Wait... how can you be told to keep your nose out of their business while they're up to their judgy neck in yours?
Load More Replies...Hi, I'm Nikki, and even though my medical chart notes genetic abnormalities and a 15-year history of Sjøgren's, the only reason I'm losing my teeth is that I don't brush and floss. Because it couldn't possibly be hereditary issues and autoimmune disease. (This is why we hate you, dentists. Be less judgmental and pay more attention to your patients' medical charts.)
Sjøgren's here, too. Hope your thriving and that cussed dentist drops every one of his costly fragile tools ...point down.
Load More Replies...Hi, I'm Beatrice and I should dress more feminine*. *I have 2 toddlers at home, 2 school aged kids, and a dog. I mainly wear t-shirts and jeans.
Tell them they're darn lucky you're dressed at all. And although you manage a full schedule, you'll be happy to pencil them in for a 15 minutes next Thursday, where they can explain exactly why they think it's any of their business.
Load More Replies...Hi, I'm Cassi. While I'm technically a genius (not a term I actually like to use) I'm just a little too intimidating. I should also try hanging out with the girls, instead of the boys, because I am just too unladylike sometimes. The other girls could help me out with makeup, and I'd be so much prettier if I smiled more!
Hey Cassie, I heard that too, for much of my 70-odd years. My favorite was from USAF recruiters. I just aced the ASVAB, and only had to take ID pictures before swearing in. As a nerd girl, I wore my hair straight and my dress at knee length, no makeup. Those pervy jerks wanted me to change into a mini skirt and tight top (conveniently in their office). They even had makeup for me to use. I refused. They insisted. They got too insistent. I sprinted past them, in a not-at-all-ladylike manner, and ran all the way home. They called my parents. My parents called their senators. Checkmate. I just spent more time at my Dad's shop and became a mechanic, rigger, stagehand, electrician, OTR driver and had a great time while they froze their ribbons off in Alaska. So... define "ladylike" in your own way. (Mine is having shiny black SnapOn rollaway tool boxes that match my 4" stilettos and LBD.)
Load More Replies...Hi, I'm B, and my grey hair would turn back to brown if I ate enough black beans.
Hi, I'm Elephant, and because I don't understand some of the work I've been given in my third year of High School, I'm going to fail my English exams when I'm in my later years. Yet somehow, at the same time, I can get an above standard on the same assessment task.
Hey Eleph, sounds like you have some ineffective, possibly burnt out teachers.
Load More Replies...Hi! I'm Nat. I'm selfish, lazy, and overly emotional. My depression is fake and I can just "get over it" and being an introvert and socially anxious is just a choice that I can change by "getting out more". I'm also possessed by Satan because I was chocking in the bathroom and was hearing voices. (Parents)
Possessed? No. You're not possessed, I promise. Everything you mentioned is a health issue. You are not alone in this... so many others have similar issues. Hope you can see a counselor or doctor, even if you have to go without parent knowledge. Be safe, Nat.
Load More Replies...Hi Yvonne... you're not too sensitive. They're uncivilized and mean spirited.
Load More Replies...Hi, I'm sadmrguna, and using the German word "abnehmen" (to lose weight) as an example in a grammar lesson about separable verbs in German will make my female students anorexic.
Hi, I'm Liz, my face is too expressive and I should straighten my wavy hair to look more professional.
That’s terrible as another textured haired girl! Straightening every day is so bad for your hair!
Load More Replies...Hi, I'm Gretchen and I'm the rudest most disrespectful, foul, waste of flesh and air that will never make anything of myself because I never know what I'm talking about. (Said by my grandparents, aunts, uncles, and parents constantly) ((All but one are now dead and that one has been shut out of my life, finally [Go F yourself Jerry]))
Their words give a hint at the fears and weaknesses harbored within themselves. Thank goodness the opinions of others do not define you!
Load More Replies...Hi, I'm Nancy. If I was a better wife my ex could be a better husband. Said by my married pastor who (I later found out) was having an affair with the worship leader.
Hypocritical, two timing, narcissist. He's going to have some 'splaining to do when his god calls him home. Hope you're in a better, safer place now!
Load More Replies...Hi, I'm [REDACTED] and my seizures aren't real because I can remember them. (Said by a gp after my extensive hospital stay with the head neurologist.)
That's messed up. I hope you found a different doctor. I just had my first major tonic-clonic six months ago (had a short one previously), and after getting fully checked out, I was told that the olfactory hallucinations I've been having are also a mild form of seizures. I hope you're able to get the help you need 🤞
Load More Replies...Hi, I'm Lilly and I'm asexual, which (according to my mom) means I want my reproductive organs surgically removed. 😐
If we're removing things because people don't use them, apparently she needs her heart removed. That's rough.
Load More Replies...hi! i'm talliloo and i am an elitist snob because not only do i speak properly but i write better than my spoken word. it'a also because i have a good memory for most things - facts and trivia. in general, i shouldn't let people know this because it sends a mixed message due to me not taking myself seriously or others for that matter.
Talliloo... this sounds like a description of Robin Williams or George Carlin. Run with it... you rock.
Load More Replies...But... you are clever. More clever than she felt like coping with that day.
Load More Replies...Hi, I'm Allan. Nobody will ever love me. (Heard that twice. Once from a guy who bullied me at school. Once from my own father)
They lie. They're weak, fearful, and insecure so they lie. Suggestion for Response: "If you have an opinion about me or my life, raise your hand. Now put it over your mouth."
Load More Replies...Hi, I’m Stardust and I’m an annoying chatterbox who is a disgusting fat boy and a crybaby who is mentally and emotionally weak robot who is a dwarf going to get piercings and tattoos
Stardust... next time you see those people, throw some holy water on them. I bet they fizzle. In the mean time, be who you want to be, and thrive.
Load More Replies...Hi, I'm Corvus and I will either wind up taking over the world or end up in a nuthouse.
Hi, I'm Jeannette, and BECAUSE I'm from Holland I don't speak French. (at a job interview in Belgium, where Dutch and French is spoken. I replied in nearly perfect French that I changed my mind about this job and didn't want it anymore. It is a strong prejudice in Belgium that the Dutch education is bad, and especially the french language education. I know I was privileged to have a very good teacher. Until today I am sure that my French at the time was better than that of the job interviewer and it became even better since.)
Hi I'm Katie and I write like a man. Whatever the hell that means.
Act surprised that they can read. Make a big deal out of it. Congratulate them on their accomplishment!
Load More Replies...Once a teacher said to me; " you are like a candy, beautiful on the outside but disapointing sour on the inside."
I was about to downvote you just because I disagree with your teacher lol. I do that sometimes. Someone mentions something negative and I go “DISAGREE” when their whole comment was about how they disagree with that thing
Load More Replies...Hi, I'm a gay cat man, and apparently, I'm not... trans... because my family is... a bunch of right-wing sociopaths... (also my hair is 'too punk' for me to be smart... i was in g&t classes my whole life and I'm not smart because I bleached my hair once. also, I need to be 'more coachable' what in the name of hell does that mean)
Your family does not have the right to define you. I don't know about their holy book, but my Bible very strongly cautions them to not judge others. They're not qualified to judge others because they're ...wait for it ... ... ...imperfect.
Load More Replies...Hi. I'm Viktorija, and am so pale, that I have most likely never worked in my life, ever. (Said to me at the end of day 4 of 12 hour shift while pushing a cart with 100 kg of goods to restock by random stranger at the shop).
I think Elon Musk has some of those nifty small flame throwers left for sale... that would shut 'em up.
Load More Replies...Hi I'm Maxime, and I was smiling to much so it's for that I didn't get a promotion. Even by being the best employee or the year. Because you know, if you are smiling, you can't be serious...
Nah... you didn't get the promotion because they were worried you'd get their job. Your professionalism intimidated them.
Load More Replies...Hi, I'm mostly here for the comments. Nice to meet you a little bit, pandas. I'm sorry for the mean things people have said, try to remember that these kinds of comments usually reflect more on the person saying them
This is the most engaging post I've seen on BP. It's so very cool to get an insight to the names I see every day... and realize how much we have in common across 3 or 4 generations.
Load More Replies...Hi, I'm Hugo, a portuguese living in Brazil and, apparently, I speak portuguese very well for a foreigner...
I'm rumple. I'm a reverse racist who started the war on Christmas and my hands are distractingly sexual.
Reverse racist? Like, someone who likes everyone regardless of skin tone? Heck, we should all strive to be reverse racists!
Load More Replies...Hi, I'm Lee. I should never have gotten tattooed, because when I have kids my "tits will look like tomato plants".
_| ̄|○' can't ...breathe ...laughing! As a woman with ink, that tomato plant comment made me snorkel my coffee. Thank you for the best laugh in days.
Load More Replies...Hi I'm Mrs H and it's people like me that caused 9/11. People like me who had asked their neighbors to move their barbecue off the literal street which was an emergency route in our town. Sorry folks
If I facepalmed any harder over that 9/11 comment, my wrinkles would slide to the back of my head... sounds like too many dives were taken into the shallow end of their gene pool.
Load More Replies...Hi, I'm Pat, and I didn't live up to my potential. Said to me by my father, who followed it with "I always thought you'd be pretty." I was 13. But revenge is a dish best eaten cold, and many years later, when yet another of his harebrained schemes failed and he asked me for money, I said "Wow. You've really failed to live up to your potential!. And...no."
Hi, I'm Aboredpanda, and I'm too pretty to have a job. I should find a husband who can support me. I talk too much, and I come off as too strong and opinionated and that might scare men away. I'm a punkrocker undercover at my workplace, but it's okay because I'm better than the communists undercover there.
Hi, I'm Rae and I should wear some nice make up to work (as a diesel mechanic). or I should really learn to dress more professionally (that one came from the PTA president after I showed up in work books, jeans, and a tee shirt to help set up a school dance.)
Saluting the newest generation of women who wrench.... may your career bring sweet satisfaction and well deserved recognition... with equal pay. If anyone hides your tools like they did mine, weld their toolbox shut. ✌️
Load More Replies...Hi, I should smile more when I'm at the gym or I'm going to scare people away.
I've yet to see a man smile while running or lifting weights. Maybe respond to them with a grimace and USMC pt chant. Bet they step back.
Load More Replies...Hi, I'm M, and I'm short, obese and somewhat well-groomed. :'-) Official description of my appearance in the file a therapist put together two years ago. I'm happy to report that I am no longer obese. However, I'm still short and probably still "somewhat well-groomed".
Good job on the weight loss! (I assume it was intentional) And i, too, would probably be considered somewhat well-groomed (at best) 😂
Load More Replies...Hi, i’m Natasha and I shouldn’t wear dresses or like pink girly things because i’m helping the patriarchy.
Who gives a raggedy rats a** about the patriarchy when a beautiful boho skirt is 30% off? Have you seen those Mary Janes by Hot Chocolate! Dang, tell them to take that Wharton implant out of their stiff neck. Maybe go camping. It's cathartic.
Load More Replies...I have one....Hi I'm Dina and l act too Greek and that's why people don't like me.
Hey, I'm German enough to get mad and Irish enough to stay there. Being Greek would be pretty freakin' awesome. Also: peaceful.
Load More Replies...The unmitigated gall of some people to express opinions about another persons ability, appearence, attitiude. Just appalling.
That's why Bob Segar ...and then Metallica ...had such a hit with "Turn The Page." Dad and I were often judged for our appearance because we got pretty grubby climbing under and over stages, auditorium catwalks, and working with cables and motors. Dad looked like a short little hobo but was master electrician, master mechanic, and among great Swing Era musicians. He came up with his friends (Sinatra, Hope, Astaire, Cavanaugh) that included song and dance man Buddy Ebsen (who went on to make Beverly Hillbillies a hit for just this reason). Mr. Ebsen and Dad made routine where Dad played part of inept, goofy stagehand that kept interrupting Mr. Ebsen's monologue, singing. During skit, Dad wheeled out a big canvas bin with props. At end, he reached into the bin ...almost fell in ...and pulled out a trumpet. Looked at the audience ... and launched into a stupendous version of When The Saints Go Marching In. The audience went berserk. 😂
Load More Replies...Hi I'm Jen, and although I'm very bright, I talk too much and distract other students from learning. 1st kindergarten report card. To this day, every employee review still mentions being less wordy in my emails. Apparently I can't edit myself down, because I'm Jen, and I talk too much.
hi I'm day and I deserve the weird looks I get for using my wheelchair in public since I don't look disabled and I should get a blepharoplasty done so my eyes look "normal" and "more approachable" since I look like I'm "mocking chinese people" (edited and deleted a previous reply just to combine the two)
G'morning Day! How dare you be independent and happy without their approval! /s People are so weird. Especially nosy busybodies with shallow, unfulfilling lives. Ever see a gurn contest? Contestants make the goofiest faces ...that's my go-to response when people stare at my damaged face. Love watching their reactions.
Load More Replies...Hi, I'm Julia. I couldn't analyze myself out of a cardboard box. I am an analyst and most are happy with my work...but there was one manager who made the team miserable for a couple years
As an analyst, you'd be smart enough to not get stuck in a cardboard box in the first place.
Load More Replies...Hi. I'm Allie. I'm a big, ugly, fat worthless cow. But yes, my teeth are real.
you're not a big fat ugly worthless cow. You're a perfectly normal human... with teeth ig (that last part just seems kinda stupid to say as an insult even)
Load More Replies...Hi am Katie and I need to delegate to other members of staff and let them grow ! When I am only trying to be helpful ! Haha the minute you delegate then they take all the glory and get the promotions !!!
Hi I’m M, & apparently hold myself to such a high standard it must be exhausting, yet I’m not meeting the 100% accuracy & issue resolution w/in mandatory timeframe. (From the same manager…ummmm, okay. My standards are too high but not high enough….).
Sounds like your manager has parked their butt behind a desk for so long they now think in bullet points. No continuity. No logic. Just random bullet points.
Load More Replies...Hi, I'm Em and I'm intelligent, for a fat person and I'm a terrible person for teaching my kids that they have the right to question adults, rather than blindly believing them. I also don't deserve to live because I am chronically ill and disabled.
Hiya Em! In D&D, I'd say you crossed paths with an Arcanian... a chaotic evil character with destructive powers. Green arcanians despise beautiful beings and single them out for victimization. Red arcanians just want to see the world burn. Just awaken your inner Paladin. You have all that's good on your side.
Load More Replies...Hi I'm A and I taught a fellow student that they can bore anyone even when they have interesting things to say. This was said in front of my entire senior English class during an exercise where we all went around the room and told everyone what things we had learned from each person. Every single other comment was nice to every other person. OH also according to a other kid In same class, I'm going to hell for being a Lutheran and not a Baptist. I haven't been to any reunions.
It's impossible for God to be half as petty as humans.
Load More Replies...Hi I'm Tricia and I'm a viscous little one. According to the next door neighbour after I bit his 5 year old son on the cheek. I was three. (And still bite ;) )
"...and still bite" Haaaahaha! Thank you for the first laugh of the day.
Load More Replies...That's a superpower. If I could do that, I'd never again run out of coffee or cookies.
Load More Replies...I had to stop reading. Especially the comments being made to women are shocking to me. How can anyone talk or think this way? I know some of these comments are probably from awhile ago, but STILL! It's awful!
Turn it around: each insult can be an opportunity to REALLY understand who we are, that we are worth more more than their single syllable minds can express.
Load More Replies...Hi, I'm pineapple, and I'm inflexible for not being at the office by 9am after being told it was okay for me to work from 10 to 6. I should also use smiley faces in my emails when I remind people to do the job they were supposed to have finished three days ago, so they don't feel threatened by me.
Hi, I'm Zane, and I'm purposely making myself an easy target for bullies by not trying hard enough to make friends with them, therefore being an attention whore and playing the victim, all because my parents didn't hold me enough as a baby! ... some people should NOT be school counselors
Was that counselor ever a kid? Because kids know bullies are gonna bully and efforts to befriend them will not derail their dastardly plans. Sounds like they need some Preparation H, to soothe what's really bothering them after sitting behind a desk for 20 years.
Load More Replies...Hi I'm Lydia and I'm "too young to possibly have a crush on a girl”…. Said to me by my mother at age 12
Our heart will follow whatever path it darn well pleases, and it does not care one whit about 'tradition' or societal mores.
Load More Replies...Hi, I'm Andrea and I will be a deadbeat, never amounting to anything, and I paid for a college degree instead of earning it. All said to me in 9th grade by my guidance counselor when I asked him how to get into vet school. I believed him and never tried to go after my dream. Now I'm in grad school working toward a Master's in Social Work, to go along with my BA in Psychology and my MS in Human Services. I also have a 4.0.
Living well is always the best revenge. Congrats on that 4.0!
Load More Replies...Hi I'm Jill, and sadly I'm aggressive. I show my aggression by sometimes having opinions that I refuse to back down on. :(
Translation from IncelSpeak to English: Jill, I'm awed by your intellect and cowed by your beautifully independent spirit.
Load More Replies...Only way to get street smart is be on the street. It's hard. Every pore is hyper vigilant and focused on survival. Absolutely nothing wrong with not being street smart, unless you're in that territory... and then intuition is your best friend.
Load More Replies...Hi, I’m Nikole and I think I’m a lot smarter than I actually am in addition to simultaneously being either too skinny or needing to drop a few pounds.
Hi, I'm Rainbow and I'm a merry widow (I lost my husband in my 30s and most days I'd do my best to put on a brave face.)
Merry Widow?! Now there's an expression I haven't heard since I was a kid. In the 1950s. But I digress... hope you're thriving despite the opinionated weirdos. Nurture peace.
Load More Replies...Hi, I'm Silre. I apparently try to intimidate adults (1st grade teacher) and I'm not good enough to do my job so I might as well just stop trying to get a better one (my boss at my former job)
Intimidate adults? At age 6?! That teacher must have been a weak, ineffectual person.
Load More Replies...Hi I'm justine. and I always look better in pictures than in real life haha ^^ and that comment was made years ago before filters existed !
Some people are crazy, some are mean, others just can't see beauty in anyone because they don't see it in themselves. You're lovely. Enjoy your life!
Load More Replies...Every other week I remeber that Bored Panda exists and go chekc out some cool posts. Then, eventually, I read so mayn posts that make me hate humanity that I close the page again. Then. a week or tow later, I've forgotten about it and check it out, again. Hi, I'm Kathinka. I just want to punch somone, right now and, apparently, I cannot learn from experience.
Humans are gonna do stupid human stuff, usually from weaknesses and fears. Use their dumbassery to build new strengths and rise above it all.
Load More Replies...Hi, I'm Krissy, and I don't know how I got as big as I am and I shouldn't be a doctor, I should be a nurse and it's nice that I married my husband but we shouldn't have kids together.
"Are you ok? You seem to have some slurring of speech and a facial tic? I'm calling an ambulance... * That should shut 'em up.
Load More Replies...Mildly? Does that mean they expect you to step up your game and be more intimidating?
Load More Replies...Hi I'm Elio and I need to get married to set a good example (??!!!) because gay marriage is legal now. I need to adopt 2.5+ kids too, again to "set a good example" and because it's legal for a gay couple to adopt. But at the same time, if I did want to adopt kids, I'm a groomer. (I'm not even in a relationship and don't want kids. Being gay is free birth control.)
"Being gay is free birth control." Hadn't thought about it that way ... and now I wonder why they shoveled that stale word salad into your path? Bet they were mired in regrets about their own life. No is a complete sentence. You can preface it with haaaaahahaha!
Load More Replies...On the topic of terrible things people have said to others: There was an applied skills para who told a third grader, "I'm surprised anyone likes you. I'm surprised you have friends." Like what the actual fuhck.
That para likely triggered by some innocent act to recall an incident from their childhood...something hurtful they were told as a kid. That, or their two-syllable mind is overwhelmed and imploding in the wrong career.
Load More Replies...Hi, I'm Hanna and I'm "unapproachable and intimidating when stressed". It's unintentional but probably works to my advantage!
Hey Hanna! Seems you encountered the legendary Wuss. Sightings were rare for decades but their numbers appear to be recovering. It's best to avoid contact, but if one breaks cover and crosses your path do not engage. Their wailing and moaning is unpleasant and may lead to hearing damage. Best defense: look them up and down, gently shake your head as you walk away. See also: milksop of yore.
Load More Replies...Hi, I'm Isa, and I need to stop dressing like a boy because it'll confuse people and condemn me to eternal suffering.
Are people still saying this? I heard this in the 1950s... man, some people need to educate themselves because we're good just the way we are.
Load More Replies...What your date really meant: Jennifer, you're so far above my pay grade that I felt woefully unprepared for social discourse and, after careful consideration, I realize my immaturity and shallow personality could not provide the satisfaction and serenity necessary for a thriving friendship. In truth, I am a coward and you deserve so much more than I can muster.
Load More Replies...Meow. I'm Bouche. I am Mama's pretty girl, whatever that means. I'm also Bouchie Butt, Bouchity Bouchity Bouche Bouche Bouche. I'm mighty kittencat, mrpy, you absolute idgit, silly little kitten, precious, and get down!
Hi. I'm Shyla. I'm a barely adequate soft can-opener.
Load More Replies...Hi, I'm Michelle and I am a heartless robot according to my mom. I am less educated than dogs, unteachable, and stupid with handwriting worse than kindergarteners. I am the fault for my mother's failed relationships, and I should be more like my younger brother. Maybe if I practiced more my hands wouldn't shake, my poor handwriting would be better and my hands wouldn't hurt just holding a pen. I am lazy, and not autistic, I just wasn't beat enough as a kid.
G'morning Michelle! As a great-grandma I outrank your mama. I think you're articulate, empathetic, disciplined, lovely, and have strengths you've not yet discovered. Those of us in the Illegible Scrawl Club welcome you to our ranks! You will find kindred spirits here including doctors, scientists, and at least one old roadie who finds holding pens, pencils, and wrenches an ...ahhhh ...exercise in vocabulary enrichment. I, too, have been blamed for the failures of others... but they lie. They had charge of their mind and their emotions, not me. The weirdos. Anyway... welcome to the ranks. Enjoy your life on your terms.
Load More Replies...Hi, I'm Susan and my confidence is intimidating to men and I've proven I don't need one so none of them want to date me. I'm good at everything I do and sometimes I need to fail at something to make others feel better. I cuss too much. I'm smart and others feel stupid around me. Sometimes I need to slow down at work and not jump in to solve a problem even though I have the solution. I need to let others take the lead sometimes. Um. Nope. F**k you. Screw you. Suck it. Get over yourself. I'm not waiting on your slow a*s to come to the conclusion I already have for 15 minutes, two weeks or however much later. I refuse to lower or belittle myself to make your sad a*s feel better. That's not my job or responsibility. That's YOURS.
BRAVO! You are so much more than the random thoughts bobbing around in their shallow mind.
Load More Replies...Hi I'm Littlemiss, and I'm such an awful teacher I don't deserve to use the title. I'm also incapable of following instructions, a bad role model for sharing food with hungry children. Of course this came from a person who was known for theft, pathological lying piece of shite who only had a job because she was family.
Oooh, you have crossed paths with the infamous Narcissist. Wanna see them have a meltdown? Respond to their buffoonery with 4 words: "I do not accept that." For added fun, preface it with the word "No."
Load More Replies...That's a good thing, yes? He had a pretty good mind that explored societies foibles and his stories made interesting reading.
Load More Replies...Heyo, I'm Rowan and everyday I get closer and closer to a white padded room and grippy socks Said to me by none other than my aunt and uncle (legally mom and dad)
G'day Rowan ...seems the parentals are using you as a scapegoat for their own issues. Weak people always blame others. It's not about *you. It never was. Their erratic emotions do not define you. Do what you need to do until you can GTFO of their control so you can be who you want to be. Nurture peace, friend.
Load More Replies...Hi, I'm Rae and the fact that I broke my leg is no excuse for not running a lap around the field like the rest of the kids. (Elementary school gym teacher. He made me do 3 laps around the field instead of one since it took me much longer than everyone else I was being 'lazy'. Reader, I was on a pair of crutches I had only figured out how to operate 3 days before.)
Alternatively: Hi, I'm Rae and I'm just saying that I'm asexual and don't want kids for the attention, and one day I'll find "The One" and I'll settle down and have a family of my own
Load More Replies...So, a coward was intimidated by you and insults were the only words his two brain cells could muster. They lied to cover their own shortcomings. Laugh and walk around 'em.
Load More Replies...Hi, I'm Annette and not only do I have a beautiful aura but I'm also the scariest b***h on the face of the earth. (those were were from 2 different people)
Beautiful auras come from a place of strength and serenity. If they were intimidated, they should reclassify time spent monitoring you to a bit of self work.
Load More Replies...Hi, I’m Scarlett and I’m an ugly, poor, (insert r-slur here), little b***h who’s too ugly to ever get a man, too skinny to be pretty, the skeleton b***h who’d people rather kill themselves then f**k, antisocial, talks too much, weird, annoying, b****y, useless, lazy, piece of s**t, f*****g b***h, that, and it.
I've got PLENTY of fat I'd be happy to share with you, if you'd want some.
Load More Replies...I'm Colin. Depending on who you talk to you'll hear different things. My teachers to my parents "he's not living up to his potential". The magistrate, after showing no remorse for punching someone in the face because they were bullying a smaller, younger person in school, "the young man will go no where in life due to his lack of remorse". My old boss "you need to exhibit more diplomacy". Since those comments I worked as a licensed tradesman, been diagnosed with ADHD, anxiety, depression and autism. Oh, and I'm a professor teaching CAD and 3D printing at the local college.
Professor!! Wow! How perfectly wonderful is that after all the grief shoveled on your childhood. Heartfelt congratulations.
Load More Replies...Not an insult but bizarrely off the mark: I'm Sheila and I'm a ray of sunshine
It's only contrary if the F word precedes it. Otherwise, you are a bearer of light and warmth. Carry on!
Load More Replies...Hi I am Jennifer and, despite working for a pop culture company, I should keep my knowledge of pop culture to myself because it's not needed in meetings.... about pop culture....
Oooh... somebody at your meeting was unprepared and embarrassed by their lack of knowledge.
Load More Replies...Hi, I'm Penny. I'm a very bright girl but you never quite know what's going on behind those big green eyes. Said by a maths teacher to my father at a parent-teacher evening. I was 14.
Sounds like that teacher was getting a bit too close. Yikes!
Load More Replies...Hi, I’m Susan and if I am having mental health struggles after returning from deployment from Iraq, I should “throw some money at it”. (said to me by a therapist when I was too overwhelmed and distraught to get through the day… she thought I’d be fine if I went shopping & got a pedicure)
Oh good grief... 😑 My first experience was with a VA psychiatrist on a locked ward. He walked in, paused, and announced I was the reincarnation of his long dead love and my (unplanned) arrival was answer to his prayers. ☠️ Both our doctors won their degrees in Cracker Jacks.
Load More Replies...Hi, I'm Tessa and I dress "too wh*re-ish." Apparently collarbone showing = wh*re-ish. This was from a coworker old enough to be my mom, while she was sulking because a customer had complimented my outfit and hadn't said anything to her.
Poor woman must have felt so insecure and so unloved. If it's any consolation, my preacher's wife stapled crêpe paper to the hem of my skirt ...to hide my bony 15 year old knees. 😂☠️
Load More Replies...Hi, I'm Dan and if I would just apply myself, I might accomplish great things.
Apply yourself to what, a wall.. like paint or something? I have questions.
Load More Replies...Hi. I'm Dave and I think most people are stupid and only survive by sheer blind luck. Also, they should not reproduce and pass on the genes for stupidity.
...*But I think most are only stupid because they had no role models and-or came up through violent and desperately poor neighborhoods. No one cared enough to pull them out of that generational muck. Fortunately, my kids put a lot of work into raising me and erasing most traces of the dumbassery I once nurtured.
Load More Replies...Hi I’m Liz and I’m “ehh a C student” (from my 2nd grade teacher to my mother) and I “make people uncomfortable when I’m quiet” (from one of my floor-mates in the dorm)
Nope. You cannot make people uncomfortable... it's their mind, they're in control of it.
Load More Replies...Hi, I'm April, and I'm wasteful, immature, and lacking in common sense. (This was feedback from a fellow Panda when I commented I had trouble peeling the stickers off produce. 🙃)
You know, most of us are pretty chill but some are really REALLY insecure and compensate by criticizing others. It's not about you... never was... it's about their issues. Or maybe their caffeine levels have dropped critically low. It's hard to say with internet stuff.
Load More Replies...Hi, I'm Gin, and I'm a fat pig, and nobody is ever gonna love me, because I made a suprise pie for my coming-back-from-vacation parents. (Thanks, grandma!) 🙄
Granny was dipping into her special rum stashed way back in the closet by the fruit cakes. It obviously affected her vision and judgment. You're perfect just the way you are... go with that.
Load More Replies...Hi, I'm Nicol and apparently I'm an alcoholic and attention seeker because I have piercings, even though you can hardly see them.
Ha! Fooled them! I was an alcoholic long before I had piercings and ink.
Load More Replies...Hi, I'm Wysteria Rose, and I seem like a nice person but am too rigid and cold in demeanor to work with children. Their parents would be uncomfortable with me. (Since receiving this lovely feedback for a volunteer position, I have worked as a children's camp attendant, a small classroom volunteer, and have not had anyone scared of me working with their kids).
If you want the parents to be afraid of you, you must sneak up behind them and yell BOO!
Load More Replies...One from the second grade, said to me by one of my best friends (both were guys): People would rather not sit next to me because I'm too fat. Didn't talk to him much after that, but my other best friend refused to sit with him after that and instead chose to sit with me. Both a good and bad memory that's stuck with me for years lol.
I was too skinny. All knees and elbows with no curves. There's just no making people happy. Screw 'em. Do what makes you happy.
Load More Replies...Hi, I'm Dipshit, Idiotassholemoronfuckwit. and i don't know my butth0le from a kumquat.
Hi I'm colle, and I don't look like the sort person who likes/works with children ( I'm a childminder)
Tell them Mary Poppins took the last flight out, Nanny McPhee is booked, and Mrs. Doubtfire was promoted out of the area. You're the new superstar.
Load More Replies...I'd want to reply to the people who said those things with something like "You know people told me you were an arsehole but you're not, you're just a c.u.n.t."
Wait, how does a cvnt compare with an azshole though?
Load More Replies...Hi, I'm TheElementalGod, and I'm about as bright as a sack of potatoes.
Hi! I’m Melissa and I’m an “uhh, sir, uhh..ma’am..uhh..whatever you are.” …because that’s something completely okay to say to someone’s face! Imagine me, a woman with short hair, blowing that guy’s MIND that day to forget what humans are!
That neanderthal... no wonder his subspecies went extinct.
Load More Replies...I'm R, I'm too young to be disabled. Too fat and old to be a prostitute and must be one because I have big boobs (all three said by one person within half and hour of meeting. Neither of the latter two are true)
Sounds like his grandparents had too much acid in the '60s. ☠️
Load More Replies...Hi, I'm Dawn and I am Satan's daughter because I spit out the wine at my first Holy Communion and cried because "That's booze, not blood!"
Ahhhahaha! That's the greatest thing I've read this week. I can imagine their reactions 😂
Load More Replies...Long form ROCKS. It's absolutely the best way to go! Take what you like from the critics and toss the rest. It's nothing more than random thoughts bobbing around in someone's mind.
Load More Replies...Ooo, the bitter taste of misogyny and sexism in my mouth is delicious 🙄
Oooh... throw in some ageism and classism for a salty finish. I'll go get a torch from my toolbox and we can have flambé.
Load More Replies...Hi I'm Trinity and my parents DO respect and understand how I feel (I'm ADHD & ASD) but I need to stop overreacting to everything (ex. people chewing, loud, sudden noises, textures of certain things, so on and so forth...). 😮💨 My dad is literally ADHD, and my mom is most likely as well... *facepalms*
If you figure out a way to stop reacting to those things... let me know. Music helps... certain frequencies in the background for alpha, delta, or theta waves tend to block out those noises and aid serenity. Might take some experimenting to see what combinations you like... but it's worked for me. It might even work for your parents! Being a parent is weird tho... results may vary. lol
Load More Replies...Hi, I’m Linda and I’m a Korean-American who can “speak English real good” but isn’t making the best use of my ethnic background because I’m a terrible cleaner.
Hello there! I'm a knitter who acts 96, looks 12 and can't possibly be bi because the *two* relationships I've been in were with men.
Hi Knitter! I'm an old roadie who looks 96, acts 12, and can't possibly work on transmissions because I'm a girl. Pleased to meet you!
Load More Replies...For a casting to be the grandfather of Romain Duris, they found that the actor, Pierre Gérald, was a little too young. He asked how old they thought he was. They replied about 60 years old... He laughed and exclaimed "I'm a little over 40 years older...!" He was 99 years old!
Hi I'm Sara and I'm lazy (written from bed as I dared to drag myself out to an event yesterday)
Hi Sara, if you were lazy you would not have planned, scheduled, paid for tickets, traveled to the event, and partied to the wee hours. Now you're just recharging. Carry on!
Load More Replies...Hiya Connie... your dad had a part in your upbringing, so that rebellious streak was programmed in... right? Of course, it might have been a subconscious thing to keep weirdos away from his daughter! ✌️
Load More Replies...Where do I begin... maybe with one of those nifty, backpack size flame throwers. 🔥 Your boobs would tumble to the bottom of their list of concerns.
Load More Replies...Hi, I'm Luna, and I'm too laissez faire, also I drink to substitute my lack of personality
Heck, anyone that feels the need to criticize people needs to work on their own personality. Maybe a good craft beer would help.
Load More Replies...Nah. Their inability to cope is no reflection on you. Also: they need to travel more... uograde their knowledge and character.
Load More Replies...Hello. I'm Blarrg and I'm the first really smart person who believes in God that my client had met. Uh, thanks?
Ha! People that think science and faith are mutually exclusive are hard to talk to, often refusing to even consider an alternative to their rigid mindset. Quite a few great minds have believed, and many still do.
Load More Replies...Greetings. I'm Ginger (not my real name btw) and I should intentionally expose myself to known migraine triggers to desensitise myself.
No no no... migraines are grumpy beasts that really hate being poked and prodded!
Load More Replies...Hi I'm Nathan, and on the day after a mass shooting it's pretty surprising to my boss that I made it to work. The implication being that I was the shooter.
I'm Mary and I'm stupid. Also I'm going to break my neck. This is what they told me 60 years ago. I'm 64 now, neck still unbroken. The stupid part though, yeah.
Hi, Ria! May as well embrace it. Heard the same cautions about breaking my uncoordinated neck so often that I'm becoming a family legend for muttering things like : "You win again, Gravity!" or "Dang Gravity %*&!"
Load More Replies...Hi, I’m Calissa. I do not socialize enough, I act really dumb for a “smart” person, and I am unbelievably judgmental and narrow-minded. I also don’t know what I’m talking about half the time, look more like myself/prettier with glasses on (covers my hawk nose? Search it if you don’t know) and for a quiet person I have really good things to say. Oh yeah, I also have stupid tastes in music and the artists. ONE LAST THING, quote by my great grandma: “you have such pretty hair and a pretty body! I’m sure all the boys come after you, huh?” Que my dad: “What? Grandma! She’s not dating until she’s 35!”
Hiya Calissa... what's this about music?! There is no such thing as 'stupid tastes in music.' Impossible! Even Baby Shark was kinda catchy. And a message for your dad: lol good luck with that, sir! Signed, Great-Grandma Roadie.
Load More Replies...Hi, I'm Inge and you just can't have customers seeing me (in a not customers facing position other than by phone, this is how I learned my boss hates fatties. Sadly, not said to me directly and have no proof but have enough reasons to believe he said that.) Also, I'm a fool doing OT knowing I was going to be laid off (same boss, small industry and would in a new position face the same customers I was helping out now...)
Hi I'm Agnes...I look kind of angry and should smile, to be more approachable. Because it seems totally natural, to stand around smiling... Seems I'll have to look a lot angrier in order not to get approached by idiots, telling me to smile.
Some of these are not so wild, and could definitely be true. Just bc you don't like what someone says to you, doesn't mean they lie. On the other hand, no reason to be rude to anyone.