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“Invisible Lat Syndrome”: 35 Red Flags That Men See In Other Men, As Shared In This Thread

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Being kind, treating others with dignity, and respecting others’ boundaries—this sounds like common sense to many people. It’s how any civil and self-confident individual ought to behave. Unfortunately, common sense is in short supply at times… as is basic politeness.

One internet user asked the men of the r/AskReddit online community to open up and share the obvious red flags that they’ve noticed in other men. The question started an in-depth discussion about toxic masculinity, and we’ve collected some of the most egregious examples of it. Scroll down for a crash course on how to never treat other human beings.

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#1

Being a modern day Republican in the US. If he votes in favor of diminishing human rights, how do you think your relationship will go? Does he truly respect women if he is Ok with the removal of bodily autonomy? Will he respect your future kids if they are homosexual or transgender? I get that people change, but I would never set a girlfriend of mine up with someone I know to be republican.

TheLazyLardon Report

Final score:

208points

Marmie Kyat 1 year ago

Amen

49points

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#2

“Invisible Lat Syndrome”: 35 Red Flags That Men See In Other Men, As Shared In This Thread Using terms like Alpha, Beta and Sigma unironically.

Scout_Puppy Report

Final score:

199points

Passerby 1 year ago

Unless you are a mathematician, of course.

118points

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#3

“Invisible Lat Syndrome”: 35 Red Flags That Men See In Other Men, As Shared In This Thread I really dislike men who start lusting and talking about a woman's a*s, breasts, etc. to me, trying to get me to agree. (And they'd assume that I would, since I'm a guy as well.)

Some people just can't keep those thoughts to themselves.

Edit: I really appreciate how I am not alone on this. Sometimes it feels like I am, since those perverts are often the loudest.

buckyhermit , Helena Lopes Report

Final score:

190points

ConstantlyJon 1 year ago

this one is top for me. in one of my workplaces it's extremely bad and most guys there act like animals. it's like they get paid to flirt and be perverted. I do my best to be respectful and lead by example, but often I find myself straight up telling them off because it's just too much. It's especially bad when they try to get me to assist and be their wingman. Like, dude, I'm a father of a 16yo daughter, I'm the opposite of your wingman. I will eat you alive, kid. F**k right off with that s**t.

112points

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The redditors revealed some of the most hurtful aspects of toxic masculinity they spied in other men, whether they were their friends or casual acquaintances. It’s the kind of behavior that is very obviously a red flag and would make practically anyone think hard about whether that’s the kind of company they’d like to keep.

Some of the most awful examples included guys who would constantly criticize their family, men who’d make fun of others (but couldn’t stand being the butt of jokes), uncontrollable flirts, and anyone not in control of their temper. Other red flags that caught people’s attention included guys who would never apologize, were arrogant, and trampled over other folks’ privacy and boundaries.

#4

“Invisible Lat Syndrome”: 35 Red Flags That Men See In Other Men, As Shared In This Thread "Women don't like good guys like me"

Good guys don't have to self assure themselves that they are good guys.

imsrslysrs Report

Final score:

167points

Passerby 1 year ago

Well, it's not that women don't like good guys like you. It's simply that they don't like you, period.

60points

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#5

“Invisible Lat Syndrome”: 35 Red Flags That Men See In Other Men, As Shared In This Thread Random guys I meet through work showing me nudes a girl has sent them.

Like seriously, those aren’t meant to be shared.

sucks-fake , Luis Villasmil Report

Final score:

161points

Passerby 1 year ago

Well, that d*ckhead just wanted to brag, which is disgusting really.

52points

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#6

Men who can joke about others but can’t take it.
(Can be applied to women too)

SuvenPan Report

Final score:

135points

Chihuahua Mama 1 year ago

Especially when the jokes they make are just plain mean. My uncle is a prime example. He will mock anyone and everyone over just about anything, but don't you dare make even the slightest joke about him

19points

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At its core, toxic masculinity is the dark side of manliness and negatively impacts other people. According to WebMD, guys who embrace toxic masculinity are often homophobic, sexually aggressive toward women, violent, and promiscuous.

Moreover, proponents of toxic masculinity have a deep need for control and ‘dominate’ everyone around them, including their romantic partners. A 2017 report ‘The Man Box’ found that 46% of men ‘deserved’ to know where their partners were at all times.

#7

“Invisible Lat Syndrome”: 35 Red Flags That Men See In Other Men, As Shared In This Thread If you hear a little voice inside you that says "I can change this man", he is not the man for you.

PowellGrover , JJ Jordan Report

Final score:

132points

DE Ray 1 year ago

Very few people want to be "fixed". They are how they are because they chose to be that way. A few didn't have better options, and will choose something different if it becomes available, but the majority had those options from the start and already rejected them.

23points

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#8

“Invisible Lat Syndrome”: 35 Red Flags That Men See In Other Men, As Shared In This Thread Bartender here...
- They don't respond well to the word "no"
- They argue for no other reason than to maintain their ego
- They use staring as a flirting technique
- They talk over you in conversation
- They get wildly uncomfortable when their partner is casually talking to somebody else in a public place
- They order Fireball, Hennessy, Patron, or a Long Island
- "What's the strongest you got bro?"
- Flashing money

lostigre , Elvis Ray Report

Final score:

130points

R Dennis 1 year ago

We had a guy who brought his dates to our restaurant. He was a barfly that was always there. Anyway, his power move was to complain and send his food back. We would then put it on a new plate and send it back out... he never noticed. What a douchebag.

59points

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#9

By remarkable coincidence, all their exes were 'crazy.'

changelingcd Report

Final score:

117points

Cara 1 year ago (edited)

Yep, constantly blaming their exes for their own poopy behaviour! A good sign to run as fast as you can in the opposite direction….

22points

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Toxic men also often refuse to help out with the housework because they think it’s unmanly. Instead, they view household chores as something that only women ought to do. Around a fifth of American men believe they shouldn’t have to help out at home at all, according to ‘The Man Box’ report. The same report noted that just over a fifth of men thought that they should “use violence to get respect.”

Some guys also frown upon men who show their emotions because they consider that to be a sign of weakness. However, this is a very dangerous perspective because it makes men less likely to ask for help if they’re struggling with mental or physical health issues.

Meanwhile, a man who is perfectly comfortable in his own skin and an example of healthy masculinity is someone who embraces his emotions, isn’t afraid of his own feminine aspects, and self-reflects on his actions. He’s also respectful of other people’s boundaries and doesn’t mind other people challenging his opinions.

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#10

“Invisible Lat Syndrome”: 35 Red Flags That Men See In Other Men, As Shared In This Thread Thinking their entitled to a GF just because they’re a male

lwaties , cottonbro studio Report

Final score:

113points

Biljana Malesevic 1 year ago

Thinking they are entitled to GF who looks like supermodel, just because they're male.

65points

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#11

“Invisible Lat Syndrome”: 35 Red Flags That Men See In Other Men, As Shared In This Thread Being unable to control their temper.

tubadude123 , Andrea Piacquadio Report

Final score:

107points

DE Ray 1 year ago

I have stopped using "unable" when discussing this trait. Aside from those who suffer from neurological disorders and should have their disability cared for, those who do not control their temper are unwilling, not unable.

5points

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#12

I look at how a man treats 'unattractive' women and other men, especially in places like restaurants.

It's all well and good if he's polite and nice towards a waitress who's attractive but try pay closer attention to how he treats those he doesn't see in that same way and see if you can spot a stark difference!

N1cole_Nurko Report

Final score:

107points

D. Pitbull 1 year ago

Thank goodness this is something at least one other guy notices and is not cool with. I admit I get more than a little annoyed at 'friends' who have watched and shrugged off when I (or another 'plain' person... or person they can't 'gain' from) are mistreated to inhuman levels ... it's like they're agreeing "If you're not attractive, why does it matter if they're rude to you?" - I've given them the "What the actual heck? Thanks for having my back, buddy... let me give the knife back to you." and they just "huh? What... I didn't see anything".

40points

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#13

“Invisible Lat Syndrome”: 35 Red Flags That Men See In Other Men, As Shared In This Thread Believe me, I'm a nice guy.

PrometheusHasFallen , cottonbro studio Report

Final score:

101points

Ingo Sauer 1 year ago

Actions speak louder than words. Some sayings stick around for a reason.

36points

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#14

“Invisible Lat Syndrome”: 35 Red Flags That Men See In Other Men, As Shared In This Thread Talking about how many women they've shagged without being asked.

Describing a woman like a piece of meat rather than just saying "she's nice/hot" i.e "look at the tits on that" or "love to tap that a*s"

Always wanting to get shitfaced when out rather than just have a few drinks.

Getting into fights.

themorganator4 , Donovan Grabowski Report

Final score:

101points

Gardener of Weeden 1 year ago

Nothing wrong in admiring beauty, but remember - many times the true beauty is hidden by a plain wrapper.

3points

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#15

Constantly s**t talking their wife or girlfriend. Always saying how horrible they are and such a b***h. Then I finally meet them at a get together or something and they are always nice. The guy will act completely different around her also, “yes dear” type of s**t. Then back at work the next day s**t talking her. Grow the f**k up

Viking-16 Report

Final score:

95points

David Leick 1 year ago

The ole' ball n' chain c**p. Dude, if it's that bad then get a divorce and shut up. Or just shut up.

45points

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#16

“Invisible Lat Syndrome”: 35 Red Flags That Men See In Other Men, As Shared In This Thread Consistent lack of personal hygiene

ClaymoresRevenge , Michael Kucharski Report

Final score:

92points

Passerby 1 year ago

This can also be a sign of depression though, so it might not always be a personality problem.

55points

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#17

“Invisible Lat Syndrome”: 35 Red Flags That Men See In Other Men, As Shared In This Thread Going out with younger women with a large age gap. It suggests to me that they like control and manipulation and compliance.

ImpossibleLoss1148 Report

Final score:

89points

Mark Bayliss 1 year ago

Can't agree with this. I know a couple of couples where the man is 15 - 20 years older and they are probably the happiest couples I know.

35points

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#18

“Invisible Lat Syndrome”: 35 Red Flags That Men See In Other Men, As Shared In This Thread Routinely acting like a pouty manbaby.

We all have bad days, but I’d steer clear of the guys who very frequently have sour tempers and are very quick to anger. That’s the type of guy who will hit you, punch holes in the wall, drink and drive after every fight, etc

drinks2muchcoffee , Usman Yousaf Report

Final score:

89points

Strings 1 year ago

I struggle to control my temper. And will try to walk away if I feel that control slipping

19points

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#19

Never apologizing

ZeldaBaahir Report

Final score:

85points

Michael P (Perthaussieguy) 1 year ago

Always blames someone/something else. Yup, we all know someone like that!

26points

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#20

I had a friend who I confronted for cheating on his wife. He said it's a part of his culture and his people do it all the time. He's no longer my friend.

charcoallition Report

Final score:

83points

Michael P (Perthaussieguy) 1 year ago

What culture/people is he referring to?

19points

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#21

Calling women "bitches", and not in the sense of "she's being a b***h" but in the general sense as if "b***h" is a synonym for "woman".

masonben84 Report

Final score:

82points

Nay Wilson 1 year ago

Or calling us ‘females’. It’s a clear sign of a lack of respect

43points

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#22

“Invisible Lat Syndrome”: 35 Red Flags That Men See In Other Men, As Shared In This Thread Suddenly flying off the handle at a minor inconvenience. It's one thing to stub your toe at the end of a bad day and give the table a whack. It's another if every moment of stress or misfortune triggers rage.

Birs1941 , Yan Krukau Report

Final score:

79points

Mary Hunt Peret 1 year ago

True for all human beings, regardless of gender.

18points

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#23

Using phrases like "do you know who I am?"

Constantly talking about themselves and how desirable they are (to women, recruiters, hiring managers, etc)

*Only* being nice to certain groups of people (women, leaders, minorities, white people, etc)

gibson85 Report

Final score:

76points

Mike Fitzpatrick 1 year ago

Apparently he's a legend in his own mind.

15points

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#24

Quotes Joe Rogan/ Andrew Tate etc. regulary.

Material_Ambition_95 Report

Final score:

74points

Snorky The Pig 1 year ago

Quotes andy at ALL! I don't know Rogan, but whoever quotes Tate should only have the sense to do so disparagingly!

33points

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#25

“Invisible Lat Syndrome”: 35 Red Flags That Men See In Other Men, As Shared In This Thread Trying to flirt with friend's girlfriend.

SuvenPan , cottonbro studio Report

Final score:

73points

Lauren Caswell 1 year ago

Or text their ex gf when they break up. I simply texted a list to my last ex, like dudes u may not wanna trust. I did my part, he could believe me or not 🤷‍♀️

14points

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#26

Proclaiming they are an alpha male and treat women like objects instead of people.

IronLordSamus Report

Final score:

73points

Michael P (Perthaussieguy) 1 year ago

If you have to proclaim you are an 'Alpha male', you aren't.

41points

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#27

Any man who talks about things like "the natural order" or "the natural hierarchy" is probably an a*****e. Nature is an unruly bush, not a "hierarchy". People who speak of "the natural order" are usually promoting something much darker than that, and they use the concept of "the natural order" as their excuse.

Bizarre_Protuberance Report

Final score:

70points

Biljana Malesevic 1 year ago

usually "natural order" is about men being "much better" than women or men having control over women.

30points

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#28

When they blame all their problems on women.

acromantulus Report

Final score:

70points

Dread Pirate Roberts 1 year ago

THIS.

12points

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#29

Trying to break your hand with the handshake when they meet you.

I prefer a firm handshake, but when they're squeezing so hard you can feel your bones and tendons move and your hand hurts afterward, that's just ridiculous. It's just machismo b******t to exert dominance by way of physical pain.

Last guy that did it to me (it was at work) I just straight called him out right there. "Oh, so youre one of those hard handshake guys? Why do you do that?" As I shake the pain out of my hand. Was a very awkward professional relationship afterward but he never f****d with me.

Forbidden_Donut503 Report

Final score:

69points

David Fox 1 year ago

I was just thinking about this! I never understood the macho grip of a handshake.

20points

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#30

When you handshake and he forcefully twists his hand on top and yours on bottom.
I instantly don't trust him

Final score:

66points

Michael P (Perthaussieguy) 1 year ago

Trying to prove he's an 'Alpha Male'. Same here, instant red flag.

25points

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#31

Can’t have a good time without alcohol.

blazer243 Report

Final score:

59points

R Dennis 1 year ago

As an introvert, it is my social medication. But to be fair, I still am not having a good time.

38points

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#32

“Invisible Lat Syndrome”: 35 Red Flags That Men See In Other Men, As Shared In This Thread Throwing their friends under the bus when women are around. Really struggled to deal with guys I thought were my friends doing this when I was younger. It’s like a switch goes off in them when attractive women are around and all bets are off.

Also not making an effort to be friends or even just nice be to people that don’t have anything to offer them. There are plenty of guys at my job that only talk to guys their age or attractive women, like if they can’t hangout or date them they’re not worth interacting with.

TasteIntelligent1328 Report

Final score:

50points

Abby Palmer 1 year ago

This!

11points

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#33

“Invisible Lat Syndrome”: 35 Red Flags That Men See In Other Men, As Shared In This Thread The three F’s will earn an F from me if all they talk about is fighting, fornicating, and frustrations.

I want nothing from their friendships.

Have a life, you’re a lot more interesting if you do things. Because if you do things, you have things to talk about, to relate with, and experiences to share.

Again… have a life, be able to tell a story.

bristolbulldog , MARK ADRIANE Report

Final score:

49points

G'ma B 1 year ago

Don't be sports & car BORING!!!!

0points

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#34

“Invisible Lat Syndrome”: 35 Red Flags That Men See In Other Men, As Shared In This Thread Just being an a*****e at the gym. How bout you don’t stand 4 inches away from me talking with your friends?

Tell_meThings , Jonathan Borba Report

Final score:

43points

Subaru645 1 year ago

Or when they stand so close at the checkout counter and pretty much breathe down your back, alpha type ish I guess.

10points

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#35

“Invisible Lat Syndrome”: 35 Red Flags That Men See In Other Men, As Shared In This Thread Clenched jaw and crossed arms. If you're showing me intimidation signals I'm going to ignore you until you go away.

SuperstitiousPigeon5 , LoboStudio Hamburg Report

Final score:

36points

Vermonta 1 year ago

he looks sad

5points

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Note: this post originally had 83 images. It’s been shortened to the top 35 images based on user votes.

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Jonas Grinevičius

Storytelling, journalism, and art are a core part of who I am. I've been writing and drawing ever since I could walk—there is nothing else I'd rather do. My formal education, however, is focused on politics, philosophy, and economics because I've always been curious about the gap between the ideal and the real. At work, I'm a Senior Writer and I cover a broad range of topics that I'm passionate about: from psychology and changes in work culture to healthy living, relationships, and design. In my spare time, I'm an avid hiker and reader, enjoy writing short stories, and love to doodle. I thrive when I'm outdoors, going on small adventures in nature. However, you can also find me enjoying a big mug of coffee with a good book (or ten) and entertaining friends with fantasy tabletop games and sci-fi movies.

Storytelling, journalism, and art are a core part of who I am. I've been writing and drawing ever since I could walk—there is nothing else I'd rather do. My formal education, however, is focused on politics, philosophy, and economics because I've always been curious about the gap between the ideal and the real. At work, I'm a Senior Writer and I cover a broad range of topics that I'm passionate about: from psychology and changes in work culture to healthy living, relationships, and design. In my spare time, I'm an avid hiker and reader, enjoy writing short stories, and love to doodle. I thrive when I'm outdoors, going on small adventures in nature. However, you can also find me enjoying a big mug of coffee with a good book (or ten) and entertaining friends with fantasy tabletop games and sci-fi movies.

Mantas Kačerauskas

As a Visual Editor at Bored Panda, I indulge in the joy of curating delightful content, from adorable pet photos to hilarious memes, all while nurturing my wanderlust and continuously seeking new adventures and interests—sometimes thrilling, sometimes daunting, but always exciting!

As a Visual Editor at Bored Panda, I indulge in the joy of curating delightful content, from adorable pet photos to hilarious memes, all while nurturing my wanderlust and continuously seeking new adventures and interests—sometimes thrilling, sometimes daunting, but always exciting!

What do you think ?

ConstantlyJon 1 year ago

a big one for me that I see a lot of now that my kids are teenagers and involved in a lot of sports: that one dad who takes sports too seriously. when your kid comes off the baseball field and instead of going straight to the dugout to be with his coach and team, he walks around the the back of the fence to chat with dad between every inning, it's a problem. When your kid looks at you for feedback after every mistake they make, it's a problem. Not only is it super annoying to the rest of us trying to be healthy parents, but it's a really stupid way to parent. 100% going to backfire on you dude.

15points

El Howard 1 year ago

My dad tells the story of his coworker who started screaming "We're not out here for the fun of it!"... at the recreational softball game.

7points

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JustinTime 1 year ago

People who were in the military and make sure everyone knows they were in the military

9points

Surenu 1 year ago

I've been accused of that because of certain speech mannerisms. Speech mannerisms are difficult to change though.

3points

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Rosanna Jackson 1 year ago

Nothing new here

1point

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ConstantlyJon 1 year ago

a big one for me that I see a lot of now that my kids are teenagers and involved in a lot of sports: that one dad who takes sports too seriously. when your kid comes off the baseball field and instead of going straight to the dugout to be with his coach and team, he walks around the the back of the fence to chat with dad between every inning, it's a problem. When your kid looks at you for feedback after every mistake they make, it's a problem. Not only is it super annoying to the rest of us trying to be healthy parents, but it's a really stupid way to parent. 100% going to backfire on you dude.

15points

El Howard 1 year ago

My dad tells the story of his coworker who started screaming "We're not out here for the fun of it!"... at the recreational softball game.

7points

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JustinTime 1 year ago

People who were in the military and make sure everyone knows they were in the military

9points

Surenu 1 year ago

I've been accused of that because of certain speech mannerisms. Speech mannerisms are difficult to change though.

3points

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Rosanna Jackson 1 year ago

Nothing new here

1point

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