Objections At Weddings Actually Happen In Real Life, And Here Are 30 Stories That Folks In This Online Thread Shared
“Should anyone present know of any reason that this couple should not be joined in holy matrimony, speak now or forever hold your peace…”
Not all wedding ceremonies include an opportunity for guests to object, but when they do, it's usually because the couple is confident that everyone present supports the union. Occasionally, however, all hell breaks loose when the officiant utters this phrase…
One curious Reddit user recently asked people to detail times guest objected to couples tying the knot, and readers flooded the replies with a variety of scandalous stories of weddings gone wrong. Enjoy reading these wild tales, as well as conversations we had with Jack Burns, Editor at Bespoke Bride, and Kathy and Danielle, Editors at The Wedding Playbook, and be sure to upvote the stories that you would have paid money to witness!
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I wanted to pay a local actor to burst in into my wedding, shout "I object! I love the bride!" and then we each pull swords and sword fight up and down the aisle. In the end I would win and the ceremony would wrap up as planned.
My wife did not think this idea was awesome so we just had a regular wedding instead.
Yeah. I think his idea was awesome, but it's her day also
Load More Replies...Didn't that used to be the purpose of a best man? To fight off any objectors? Or have I invented that in my brain? 😂
That is correct, the best man was picked because he was the best swordsman.
Load More Replies...I get it. My husband and I met doing martial arts, and had talked about working in a fake fight that would turn into a short sparring session (we were thinking during the first dance would be fun) buuuut I ended up picking out a dress that was WAY to fancy and bulky to risk tearing (and I wasn't going to change, it had a lace back I'd have needed help with anyway), so I feel your pain lol
Seventeen years ago my son-in-law wanted to walk down the aisle to "Whatta Man" by Salt n Pepa, but my daughter nixed the idea. We laid him to rest 8 months ago. And we played him out to "Whatta Man." And he was.
I had a friend who was a minister, and the subject came up if he asked the question during ceremonies he officiated. He laughed and said no way. He basically tells the couple not to include it because it only invites a moment of anxiety at best, misery at worst.
His best story (and one of the reasons he stopped including the question) was a couple where the lead up to the wedding the couple was obviously in love. The bride to be was very smiley and happy. Day of the wedding she’s stone faced. He knows something is up because he’s never seen her like this and he asks if she is ok. “I’m fine.”
Right before the service he asks again. “I’m fine.”
He gets to the question, “Does anyone object to this union?”
The bride reaches over, grabs the maid of honor, shoves her into the bride’s spot and says, “You’re screwing him, you marry him.” And then stormed out of the church.
I can't imagine being so low down, so disgusting, so f*****g terrible to f**k someone that is very likely very close to the bride/groom. Vice versa for whoever they're f*****g.
She lost 2 friends that day. Very sad. Vile & despicable behavior from the two.
Load More Replies...Guessing this is in the US then - in the UK, asking that question is a legal requirement (as are the requirements to post a notice of marriage in a public place in advance and to keep the church doors open during a ceremony). These date back centuries and ensure there is nothing clandestine, that there are opportunities for the public to know about the weeding and to speak up if they know of a (legal) reason why the couple cannot be wed.
Asking as an American, does this stem from publishing the "Ban/bans"... which is a way for anyone to come forward with a legal reason the person cannot get married? I've on read it in books and seen it on British shows. Curious. No, it's not a legal requirement in the US.
Load More Replies...I would have done the same thing, maybe gave her a small shove down the isle
See s**t like this is why I have trust issues! If you don't want to be with someone anymore because of whatever reason (Love, intimacy, compatibility, the list can go on and on) be a decent human being and tell your partner. On that note the sooner the better!
Why though? Two adults are entering into a contractual, legally binding relationship. It has quite literally nothing to do with anyone else.
Load More Replies...Dang. My jaw dropped. Why on earth would you marry someone if they aren’t the only person??
To gain more insight on this scandalous topic, we reached out to the experts at Bespoke Bride, and lucky for us, Editor Jack Burns was kind enough to have a chat with Bored Panda. First, we wanted to know if anyone from the Bespoke Bride team had ever been in attendance when a wedding was halted due to an objection. “None of us have been to a scandalous wedding where this happened, but we have heard a few stories where it did,” Jack said.
“One story that we remember was about a city wedding in London, where just as the couple exchanged their heartfelt vows, a hushed murmur swept through the crowd. A figure, dressed in a flamboyant suit, burst through the entrance, drawing everyone's attention,” he continued. “It was a long-lost friend of the groom, known for his outrageous and unpredictable behavior. The friend's voice boomed through the room, as he declared something like, ‘Stop this wedding! You can't marry her!’”
Not quite the question as asked, but too funny to not share:
Priest: "Any objections?"
Father of the bride: _lets out the hardest, loudest, most complex-sounding sneeze I've ever heard in my life, completely with involuntarily saying "ACHOOOOOO"_
Mother of the bride, hammered on champagne: "For f**k's sake, Jerry!"
It took a good five minutes for everyone to regain their composure.
I would believe that sneeze was staged, if it weren't for the fact that I have lived my entire life knowing a man who very similarly SHOUTS his sneezes.
My dad sounds like he’s shouting “hot shlt!”whenever he sneezes.
Load More Replies...Thats something my dad would do, he has to tell a story with his sneezing fits😅🤣
Did he scare the deer away? https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=MUINFs1Sp94
My cat was my best man and when our friend who ordained our wedding asked if there were any objections he let out a long a*s meow
Hmmmmm....animals are fantastic judges of character. I might have actually listened to this one!!
Plot twist: The cat wanted the new spouse for themselves.
Load More Replies...Cat as the bestman? Hey, this solves the "I don't have good enough friends to ask to be bridesmaids" dilemma. I'll just appoint my cats. I like them more than any human anyway.
“He continued to tell how he loved the bride and how they shared some secret moments in the past,” Jack went on to explain. “The room erupted into a flurry of whispers and murmurs, as guests turned to one another, shocked by the drama. The bride, tears streaming down her face, stood frozen. But then the groom stepped forward and said something like, ‘This is not the time nor the place for such declarations. You had your chance, and you let it slip away.’ The officiant, trying to restore order, intervened and asked the rude friend to leave. Reluctantly, he complied. The ceremony resumed, but the shadow of the objection lingered over the celebration.”
I was not at the wedding, but know of a case where there was an objection, and the circumstances were quite exceptional.
When I was a detective with the Child Protection and Sexual Offences Unit, we dealt with a case involving a 14-year-old girl who had been raped by a known adult male. The first disclosure of the rape was made by her AT HIS WEDDING CEREMONY, which she attended uninvited. When the pastor asked if there were objections, she rose and said yes, she had an objection; the groom had raped her a week before. The pastor stopped proceedings and took the child to an adjacent office, where she repeated the allegation and gave more information.
Shockingly, the bride was still willing to go through with the ceremony, which was concluded while the girl waited in the office. Afterwards, the pastor took her to the local police station (Bellville South in Cape Town, South Africa), where a case was opened and the matter assigned to my unit for investigation.
We carried out the arrest at the V & A Waterfront, Cape Town the next evening (Sunday), where the groom and his friends were partying it up. The bride, of course, was left home alone, one day after the wedding.
I was blown away by the courage it took for the girl to attend the wedding ceremony alone, surrounded by the friends and family of the perpetrator, and to make the disclosure to his face in the way she did.
For those wondering how she knew so much about him and when he would be getting married; he lived in close proximity to the girl's family in Bellville South and the two families knew each other. He had siblings who attended school with her.
Please tell me they are divorced. The bride being left home one day later says gaslighting narcissist that took advantage of a very naive wife to me at the very least.
I don't know why she went through with the marriage
Load More Replies...Absolutely! I hate hate HATE it that she had to go through what she has had to, but she has balls of steel and I hope they take her far in life.
Load More Replies...I'm teetering on the edge of thinking the bride is worse*. I can't begin to imagine willingly marrying a rapist. *not actually worse, but wow. Just . . . wow.
Question is, did she believe the girl initially? If some random girl I've never seen accused my partner of raping her but my partner insisted he didn't do it I'd side with him since I trust him. Obviously I'd re-evaluate after he got arrested but isn't it normal to believe your partner over a stranger?
Load More Replies...If that woman didn't marry him so that she could more easily murder that man in his sleep she is just as big a monster. If allegations are true.
I would imagine that the bride was really thrown by the accusation, especially since it was in the middle of a ceremony in front of friends and family. I mean, she expected to be married in the next few minutes. She might have had a clearer head and dumped the guy, or at least postponed things, in a different situation.
If this is true: a) I want to read a news article about it b) I am so proud of that brave girl c) Shame on the bride for not walking away from the groom immediately.
I went to a Catholic wedding where, when the priest asked this question, one of the groomsmen did a VERY loud, long, throat clearing, which got everyone laughing. Everyone except for the bride's elderly Italian Grandmother who marched out of her seat and angrily hit the groomsman with her handbag and shouted at him in Italian!
Sei una testa di rapa irrispettosa, ti insegnerò le buone maniere!
Load More Replies...Thankfully, most couples don’t need to worry about any objections today, as Jack says this tradition has largely become symbolic over time, rather than a genuine question for the guests. “In fact, many couples choose to omit this part of the ceremony altogether,” the editor noted. “Mainly because the objection portion of the ceremony was once a legal requirement to ensure there were no legal impediments to the marriage. However, in most jurisdictions, the legalities are taken care of before the wedding day, making the objection part unnecessary.”
“Secondly, weddings today tend to focus more on celebrating the love and commitment between the couple, rather than entertaining the possibility of awkward objections,” Jack continued. “Lastly, objections raised during weddings are exceptionally rare. In modern days, if someone has a legitimate objection to a marriage, they typically address it privately with the couple before the wedding day. We at Bespoke Bride would recommend omitting it to maintain a more seamless and joyful ceremony.”
One of my cousins is married to literally one of the kindest and coolest dudes I have ever met. Before the wedding, her little sister was saying how “she’s marrying my best friend.” At the wedding, when the priest dude asks if anyone objects, the room is dead quiet and all you hear is a little girlish whisper “I do.” It was honestly really adorable and we all laughed, and my cousin’s husband and her little sister are still best friends.
This is only cute if the little sister is a child, otherwise this would be a hot mess. Imagine a grown women 😳
Yeah had to read it twice. Second time cast her as a 6 year old.
Load More Replies...Hysterical 🤣. On another note, her dress in the pic is STUNNING?! I need it in my life.
Honestly!! One look and I'm all over the internet looking for it!
Load More Replies...
Not a wedding, but at a funeral someone objected the death.
At my uncle’s funeral, his ex wife and a local church [cult] leader tried to raise him from the dead. We were all sitting there like normal people at a normal funeral and she walks up to the casket and starts yelling, “James Lester, raise up!” I didn’t know she was there or I would’ve prepared myself for shenanigans. Also I didn’t know my uncle’s middle name was Lester, so please imagine the confusion. So she and the cult leader are literally yelling at my uncle’s body. Not surprisingly, my uncle refused to resurrect himself. They were escorted out.
I’ve actually never told this story because it makes my family look insane.
Omg, if it wasn't a real tragedy this would be hilarious to witness. Preferably on a fictional day time soap opera but still.
I do this every time I walk past or through a graveyard. I raise my hands and utter: "Arise!". One day it will work. One day...
I mean, she was his ex for a reason. so it just shows he realised she was cuckoo bananas at some point. The insanity isn't in the OP's family - they were just briefly related to it by marriage.
"Not surprisingly, my uncle refused to resurrect himself."🤣 Gold. He's in heaven rolling his eyes like, "guys, it's a lot better up here, I ain't coming back."
What would they do if he did? What would he do, tell them to go away and leave him in peace?
I'm now picturing the body slowly and dramatically sitting up in the casket, turning serenely to look at the ex wife while the audience gasps, and saying "f**k off and leave me alone you daft c**t" before lying down again and resuming death.
Load More Replies...Don't beat yourself up. Most families have one crockpot hiding in the wings waiting for their moment to shine.
My dad used to kid me mercilessly for years that after he died and he was in the open casket he was going to get up on his elbow and wink at me. Of course he did pass on, but I don't remember a thing about the funeral because I had my eyes glued on the casket for both fear and the expectation he might somehow pull it off!
Jack went on to note that most couples do not anticipate any sort of dramatic interruptions during their wedding ceremonies today, because they are proceeding based on “a strong foundation of love, trust, and commitment, with the expectation that their day will be filled with joy and celebration.”
But if anyone out there is considering disrupting a friend or family member’s wedding, the wedding expert says that it should be approached with extreme caution and should only be considered in truly exceptional circumstances. “Ensure that you have legitimate and valid concerns, like evidence of fraud or coercion, or any other significant issue that would genuinely affect the couple's well-being.”
Well, sort of. It was staged, pre arranged, and the minister was warned ahead of time. The couple said they wanted to make the ceremony more interesting. So they had a friend object, declaring his love for the bride in an over the top dramatic speech. The best man (my husband) stabbed the guy with a stage dagger, he played dead, and two of the other groomsmen dragged his limp body away. The wedding proceeded. I have to say, it was pretty awesome. The bride and groom are still happily married 30+ years later.
Augh... i SOOO wanted to do something like this... but.... the spouse-to-be refused to swing down from up high, and land in the spot beside me announcing 'I DO!'... (Pirate themed wedding... I told him his other option was Ninja... said no to that too. sigh)
I had a Viking Larp wedding, eskorted by a hird of warriors. When objections was asked, all drew their weapons and looked menacing 😄
Soo, this is the succeeded verson of #2. Why is it not higher?
This was in America, and the wedding was in a Buddhist temple. Parents of the groom stood up and objected because they didn’t believe the bride was of the same class. They spoke in another language so most of the English speaking guests didn’t know they were objecting.
My husband was the best man and those closest to the couple knew this might happen. The Buddhist priest said he would handle it if the parents tried anything.
After the parents spoke for a while the priest said to the groom, “You’ve heard what your parents had to say, what do you want to do?” The groom replied, “I want to marry my bride.” So the priest asked the parents to leave. At this point the rest of the guests are clueing in that this was not a nice part of the ceremony, and that the parents were actually objecting, so, as the parents walked out, some of the guests were berating them saying things like, “You should be ashamed of yourself” and “How could you do that?” And even though the groom was not happy with his parents, that was very hard for him to hear.
That was 30 years ago. The couple is still married. They have two beautiful, successful children. After the groom’s mom passed away, the groom’s father came around and was involved in their lives until he died.
I think this has a mostly happy ending. happily married and the father got to be involved with his grandchildren in a meaningful way.
Pity that the father lost out on such a lovely family for so many years though, still I agree. He came around in time to still make memories.
Load More Replies...I believe thats the proper way of the priest to handle an objection. Just ask the two of them "what do you want to do now" And let them decide
“We also recommend addressing your concerns privately with the couple before the wedding day,” Jack told Bored Panda. “If you still believe there are serious grounds for objection on the wedding day itself, it is crucial to approach the matter with sensitivity and discretion. Speak privately with the officiant or a trusted wedding organizer who can guide you on the appropriate course of action. Disrupting the ceremony should be an absolute last resort.”
“Think about the consequences, as any disruption or objection during a wedding ceremony can have significant emotional and social consequences,” the editor added. “It can cause distress and embarrassment to the couple, their families, and their guests. Be prepared for potential backlash or strained relationships resulting from your actions.”
If you’d like to learn more about wedding planning, wedding etiquette or gain some inspiration for your own big day, be sure to check out Bespoke Bride right here to hear more from the experts!
I objected. I took giving my sister away literally. I wasn't the brightest 3 year old.
A woman, in her 20s at the time, objected to her mom marrying my uncle. So she started yelling, “Mom don’t marry him!” during the ceremony. The ceremony proceeded and some family on the mom’s side lead the daughter away to quit interrupting. I don’t blame her-my uncle was a lying, lazy bastard. The marriage didn’t last.
That makes me really sad, the daughter must have felt so desperate and lonely
If my grown child was objecting I think I would reevaluate my decision. Or at least postpone to think about it.
Sometimes I feel like getting married is so overrated , I understand all the reasons of doing so
We were also lucky enough to get in touch with two more wedding experts, Kathy and Danielle, Editors at The Wedding Playbook, to hear their thoughts on the topic. Kathy and Danielle shared that, fortunately, they've never been in attendance at a wedding that was halted in a scandalous way. "It’s more common for us to hear about people who object to a marriage opting not to attend the wedding, which is a quieter but no less heart-wrenching form of protest," they told Bored Panda.
A friend of mine has a band that plays lots of weddings and other parties. They were hired for a birthday party that turned out to be a surprise wedding. The guy surprised his gf with a proposal and wanted to have a wedding ceremony then and there. She said no and left
Don't blame her, she was left with no say about her wedding day, dress etc. You want to be so so sure about your partners feelings about a day like that to pull a stunt like this. He clearly railroaded her and expected her to just fall in line.
I attended a birthday party. I only knew one person, we were in holidays at her place and she managed to get us invited. At some point it became a *surprise* wedding party and the (surprised) bride was so excited and grateful. They had always planned to marry but never took time to organise it. They were in their fifties. I think our conception of a wedding day varies during a lifetime, and it highly depends on the bride's personality.
Load More Replies...This guy actually got this idea, planned it out, and just expected his unknowing gf to just grin wide and go "OMG YES!!!!!" without any time to do a thing. Witaf..... Dunno if she dumped his snake a*s after that but I SURE hope she gave him an earful twice ANNNNND tore him a couple new a holes so he could get the amount of bs out of him faster. Like wtf was this desperate dude smoking to actually believe she'd be just fine with it? You surprise ppl with a bday party. Or a nice gift. Or something. Not a gd wedding?!
Do you not have notice periods in (I assume) America? In the UK you have to give notice 6 weeks beforehand to confirm it is a proper marriage for love, you aren't related, aren't already married, where and when you will br marrying, etc and then your names are displayed to give others the chance to say if you're already married or something.
In the U.S., it varies from state to state, but it is at most a few days (five, I think) and can be as low as zero. You don't have to post banns or anything like that, just fill out a marriage license and wait however many days that state requires. The state can use the notice period (if there is one) to check that neither person is already married or, if they had been married before, that the divorce has already been finalized. I don't know if the state tries to check about whether you're too closely related to marry. You don't have to confirm it's a marriage for love. Even if you're in a state that has no notice period, both parties DO have to fill out a marriage license form and submit it to the state - and AFAIK, that has to be done BEFORE the marriage takes place, not after. So it's doubtful that the surprise wedding would've been legit even if she had said yes.
Load More Replies...Most times, a public proposal is a manipulation. They're banking on the unsuspecting girlfriend to not say no out of embarrassment.
Wow, how dumb can one be? Surprise her with an engagement? Absolutely! But unless you have had a very in depth discussion about getting married immediately, Absolutely idiotic. IMHO - She left before she was stuck in a life where it mattered not what she wanted and her only goal was to be his arm candy and do as told.
Yeah, I'd have been upset by the surprise wedding part too. Planning weddings can be stressful, but it's still fun to decide what things you want and see it all come together (I seriously considered looking into wedding planning after putting ours together, but I don't think I could handle the dealing with people aspect of it lol)
I used to make wedding videos. Did one at an outdoor wedding spot high on one side of a valley. It had rained earlier in the day but the storms had cleared and the wedding could continue.
During the vows I don't touch the camera, just step back and let it run. So I'm spaced out waiting for the vows to finish and notice a radio tower far across the valley. Suddenly lightning hits the radio tower. I had enough time to think "Boy when the thunder gets here it'll probably loud."
I also had enough time to clue in that the minister was saying "If anyone objects to this union let him speak now or forever..." KEBLAMMMMMMMM!
Total silence in the venue. Preacher takes a second to look around and make sure everybody is alright, on one has been smote. "Well that's never happened before."
AFAIK they're still married, that was 10 years or more ago...
Jeepers... If Jesus had objected so loudly I'd be single!!!! And maybe a nun
The wedding experts also shared that, "If it’s not a cultural or religious requirement, [asking for objections] is definitely one part of the wedding ceremony you can do without. It either leads to an awkward pause or a melodramatic made-for-TV moment, both of which detract from what is meant to be a happy occasion."
"Instead, the officiant can ask if the couple has the blessing of their loved ones for the marriage - but only if they know the answer will be a resounding yes!" Kathy and Danielle added.
I dunno if it's a UK thing or even just a one specific church thing but I was told by the priest in a rehearsal that if someone objects, even as a joke, the priest is required to pause the ceremony and talk to the objector alone to discuss their concerns and decide if they have a valid objection. Like it's not a fun jokey moment, it's a real legal part of the ceremony.
He also said it used to be custom that if you raised an invalid objection you then had to pay for the wedding.
I know a minister whose response is to require a £50 cheque before listening to an objection.
The person conducting the wedding, in the UK at any rate, has the duty to ensur to the best of their ability that the couple are legally able to marry. Normally that's just the couple signing a declaration saying they are unmarried and of age. If you've been married before it may involve you showing the legal divorce decree or whatever. So if someone objects they need to talk to them. If one of the couple objects, even as a joke, or says no to I do - you're nor getting married today even if you take it back immediately. Enjoy rearranging everything because you thought you were funny.
And if they suspect you're drunk they won't conduct the ceremony either.
Load More Replies...Back in the day, they would hang the announcement of a wedding on the church’s door for people to know who was getting married. This was like a month before so in case of objections they didn’t have to wait till the day of.
That practice was also here for civil weddings, about 40 years ago. I read my dad getting married to his second wife. My brother and I had been introduced to her, but were not invited.
Load More Replies...That's the way it is in the Episcopal church in the US, the whole stop the ceremony thing. I've never heard of the paying for the wedding but that's a nice touch
Yes, it's the law in the UK. And if someone says there is a legal reason why the couple cannot wed it needs to be confirmed.
Depends why they object, if it's an ex saying they love the bride/groom then no, but if it might be any legal issues such as one part already being married or the couple being related, then yes the ceremony has to stop
This is an actual thing, and what is supposed to happen. The priest is supposed to take the objection seriously.
I have heard of the first part here in the UK, pretty sure it is legally required to ask the question. The objections are meant to be used for reasons that the wedding would be illegal under common law, eg. bigamy, incest, non-consent. It's private to protect the objector. The second part I have never heard of though.
Yeah, isn't the question "does anyone have any just cause or legal impediment"? I'm sure it's not just about personal objections. I do like the idea of the objector paying though.
Load More Replies...That's actually true, at least in the US. An objection halts the ceremony, and if the objector is serious, depending on the basis of the objection the officiant has to postpone the ceremony. Don't do this as a joke, you'll likely cost the couple tens of thousands of dollars and can be sued to recover the cost.
My husband's first marriage. The brother of the bride stood up and said to my husband "Say no, you can still be happy!"
They went through with the marriage, wound up divorcing with a messy break up.
Brother in law is still best friends with my husband (as far as he's concerned he gained a brother and lost a sister and is better off for it) and he never lets him forget the fact that he was right and he should have bailed lol.
Edited for clarification
True story. I was getting married at a courthouse in Illinois. We decided to get married in the open area until the storm came in. So, we moved inside, and it started pouring outside. Though we'd dodged a bullet until the objection part. Immediately after person marrying us said it, the lights went out. Friends joked God was objecting. Had to file paperwork later because the computer weren't working. Married 15 years.
Married 15 years and still going strong!! Good on you and that joke about God objecting could have been his blessing LOL
Load More Replies..."Naturally, couples want to be surrounded by love on their wedding day and hope that the people they’ve invited to witness their vows are supportive of the relationship," Kathy and Danielle noted.
But they added that not everyone needs approval to go through with tying the knot. "Most would continue with their wedding plans even if there’s a chance of an objection because it’s important to them to publicly declare their commitment to one another. It’s symbolic of their decision to face all of life’s ups and downs together."
There are even ways around objections if your friends and family aren't on board. "Those who are especially worried that friends or family might disagree with their marriage often plan an elopement to ensure only positive memories of the day," Kathy and Danielle told us.
Groom found out that bride was cheating two days before the wedding day. He spilled the beans while exchanging the vows.
Especially if you cheat on the person you're bloody marrying.
Load More Replies...Can't imagine the pain and heartbreak caused to that guy but it's better that he found out before the wedding.
Sorry for a Shakespeare reference, but Much Ado About Nothing anyone? That’s literally exactly what happened
Load More Replies...Deserved? Perhaps. However, all those in attendance forced to witness such a spectacle did NOT deserve it!
I dunno, this feels like something that could be do e privately without putting the attendees in the middle. They took time out to show up, dressed up, probably brought gifts, then have to sit through that?
In my view it is Because public humiliation is sometime the only way to get through to people who commit acts such as cheating.
Load More Replies...Did he still marry her or left her at the alter after announcing her cheating?
I was at one where the Groom thanked the Bride's Ex for dying as his loss was my gain.
Didn't help the sons of his bride and ex were in attendance
Right? So I got to upvote you instead. Thanks!
Load More Replies...Am I the only one that thinks it's weird to call a deceased partner an "ex"? I know it's technically correct but it seems so disrespectful
And if you want to object to a friend's wedding, Kathy and Danielle say that there's likely a better way to go about it. "There’s no more hurtful way to say you don’t support your friend or family member’s life choices than with an announcement on their wedding day," they told Bored Panda. "Even if you have a valid reason, we recommend addressing it in private before the event to spare the couple any embarrassment worthy of a soap opera season finale. Unless there’s a legal, moral or wellbeing concern, it might be a case of putting aside your own feelings and being happy that they’re happy in order to preserve your relationship."
If you'd like to gain even more wedding tips from the experts, as well as ideas for planning your own special day, we recommend visiting The Wedding Playbook's website right here!
My best friend (males) and I drew somewhat apart during college, then grew closer after college. He fell into a group of friends who were a little wilder than me. I don't blame him. College is supposed to be fun. I missed out. That's my fault because I did a five year program that got me my BA and MBA in short order. After school ended, he was asked by a new friend to be his best man. I knew the guy and his fiance secondhand. He was a bit of an ogre and she was cute, a bit mousy. I wasn't at the wedding, but the big day comes and we all go about our lives. It was the 90s and I worked that Saturday (yes, "Office Space" culture was real then). I go out to our watering hole that night and there was my best friend, drinking a double whiskey in a disheveled tux. "Good wedding? How was the reception grub?", I asked. "No wedding. No reception. I ate dinner at Applebee's by myself.", he said. The bride told the limo driver to take her for a few big laps. She eventually showed, gathered her family around her, and told the groom it was not happening today or ever. The physical and mental abuse was too much and she was too far into a drug habit he pushed on her and was going to seek help. Now understand, only a few at the wedding knew any of the abuse or drug abuse was going on. The ogre went into a rage, tried to attack her, and got repelled by the better men and women in the crowd. She got her help and self-confidence back and married a great guy a few years later. Three kids, almost 30 years together. Her would-be husband kept up his bad habits and ended up killing his girlfriend and himself in a drug-fueled murder/suicide in our 30s. Still shocks me to this day. My best friend has been pretty much straight and narrow since. It sobered him up in many ways.
Kind of.
My uncle was getting married. Small, just a handful of family and a minister. I was videotaping.
My grandmother was not into it at all. With each line spoken by the minister, she had a cutting, sarcastic response. I could not believe it. It was so unlike her,
When that part came up, she said “I object. But does it really matter? They are going to to do it anyway.”
The minister just ignored her and proceeded, business as usual.
They were divorced within a year.
Wish I had a copy.
Sometimes you have so much past you can almost see the future.
Load More Replies...Was not expecting this comment and my computer was almost covered in Gatorade.
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My mother passed away about 15 years ago. 5 years later my dad married my now step-mother. It was an outdoor wedding on a beautiful sunny day, and during the spot where they usually ask if anyone objects, a big gust of wind came out of nowhere and knocked over some tables. Afterward, multiple people came to tell me that wind gust was my mother objecting, which I like to believe was true.
Ok, so one isn't allowed to find happiness again years after the original partner died. Noted. *sarcasm*
Agreed! If it was months or days I'd be like WTF that was quick. But 5 years is a respectable amount of time to grieve then move on. I mean I wouldn't expect my partner to stay single forever if I passed.... If they choose the for themselves is one thing but it should NOT be expected!
Load More Replies...My mom told my stepdad that he was not allowed to use her as an excuse for not finding someone else after she died (she was in hospice with cancer at the time). She also made sure I knew she told him that. I was the best man when he remarried.
My mum believes she had a message from her late mother when her dad got engaged several years after being widowed. Mum (who was in her early 20s at the time) had been mostly happy for her dad and liked his new wife-to-be but was still struggling a bit to adjust. One night she had a dream that she was standing outside her childhood home with her mum. She said to her mum "I'm so sorry, Dad's found someone else". Her Mum smiled and responded "it's okay darling". She says after that dream, she was completely at peace with the wedding.
My grandmother objected at my sister's wedding. My sister was a Florida based Italian Catholic and somewhat conservative individual who fell in love with a progressive New York Jew.
My Nonna said it wouldnt work and it would change one of them and she was worried about it changing her grand daughter. My parents managed to get her away from the wedding and it continued. My sister is now neither Catholic or conservative, so my Nonna was absolutely right.
She was already changing or she would have had concerns of her own. Love beats dogma every time.
I wish it was "every time," but sadly, that just isn't true.
Load More Replies...No two people are 100% compatible, so if they aren't going to change, marriage is a very bad idea
There's a big difference between being accurate and being "absolutely right".
I went to a wedding where the best man was replaced a week before because he banged the bride. But the wedding still went ahead just with a different best man. They are divorced now.
So the best man was replaced but not the bride? I mean there was still a wedding?
LOL - never mind the writing on the wall, or the mess on the sheets.. I can change that... 😒
I was at a small ceremony indoors, maybe 30 people tops listening. When the minister asked for any objections, a picture of the bride’s dead grandmother that was hanging on the wall fell to the ground with a loud thump. We looked at each other but the minister finished anyway. Divorced within a year.
Oldie but a goodie, this happened back in the 70s, this was shared to le by the guy who married my parents. It went something like this :
"does anyone object to this union?"
" I do! That's my husband!"
So they paused the wedding, the bride, groom and the woman objecting went into a small room. The woman who objected provided documentation showing the groom was still legally her husband. Apparently the couple had started divorce proceedings some time earlier but never finished. The wedding was cancelled and everyone sent home.
I wish everyone had been able to have good food at the reception. I hear about brides doing this when the husband-to-be doesn't show. I've seen videos where the bride in her gown says 'there's no wedding but the food is here and there's a band, let's dance and sing and eat!'
My aunties fiance was already married (lady stood up waving marriage cert) so wedding didn't go ahead. The reception was on a long boat so we still went to that. The fiance went back to home country to sort it out and never came back.
This isn't something you spring on the person at the wedding though. If your auntie was the one doing it that's fine since she's the wounded party, but for another person to air that in public, potentially humiliating the wounded party even more, is just wrong. You take that marriage certificate to the auntie in private and have her decide what to do at the wedding.
The existing wife may not have known how to get in touch with the aunt - maybe the only thing she found out was when and where the wedding was.
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Went to a wedding where they skipped that part because the brides adult daughter was planning to object.
A relative visited one ceremony where it was asked if anyone objects, and the groom decided it's a good time for a joke and said "I do". The lady who was going to marry the couple just turned and left. They had to go through all the paperwork again and change the date. Got married, divorced in like three years if I remember correctly.
There is a time and place for jokes, a wedding ceremony is no such place.
Or, if you're going to joke, plan it with the person who does this stuff professionally!
Load More Replies...According to an article I read a while back if either the bride or the groom object (even as a ‘joke’) the wedding has to be rescheduled. It legally can’t take place
Yeah, as it may indicate something behind the curtain. It's to make sure they were not actually serious.
Load More Replies...He deserved a good kick in the balls in my opinion
Load More Replies...What, if he was joking what right did she have to leave. There is way more to this story.
Legally yes the wedding stops. As even in joke one of the parties might be trying to say something in guise of a joke as a plea for help.
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At his rehearsal dinner a co-workers mother toast included that his soon to be wife was a "damn dirty w***e who wasn't good enough" for her son. Folks not happy. (Video ended so didn't see the whole thing.)
At wedding which I attended his mom started to say something at the "speak now" part but was silenced by her daughter. Mom left and didn't see the rest of the ceremony.
Everything about that poor guy was drama.
My mum told me she was going to pay an old boyfriend to stand up and object at my wedding. She didn’t in the end but I did cast a quick look around in the church before walking down the aisle.
First what? First of the gang with a gun in your hand? Because you'll be the first of the gang to die if you are. Morrrrrissseeeyy said so.
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I was the best man at my bestie's wedding. Smeone that we...tolerated in our friend group, objected and said he was in love with the bride and that he was the only one that could make her hpapy. She had been nice about his feelings until then and reminded him in front of the entire ceremony that A: he could't hold down a job because he had too big of an ego, B: didn't get along with her friends because they all had something they were working on (A book, a career, a trip, volunteer job) and he had nothing so he constantly tried to downplay their accomplishments on purely presumptuous ideas and C: His idea of sex was "Blow me and I'll finger you. Night, hun." she was way more thorough and more cruel and it was a hysterical five minute ordeal. I mena he had it coming or starting s**t at her wedding. He got up and left. I was pretty sure he was crying as he walked away but no one went after him. It was both brutal and hilarious. He was like the Jar Jar Binks of our friend group: you hated him but he made you feel better because at least you weren't as bad as Peter.
The OP has a funny definition of the word friend. Like even if the person was a complete idiot, he obviously would've known what his own group of 'friends' thought of him. Awful story, they are all aresholes
Did you forget the part where he tried to ruin their wedding? If the bride hadn't cut him down to size and instead ran off crying it would've been a disaster. And the part where he puts everyone down all the time? Like what are you defending here?
Load More Replies...Wow that's brutal but I can understand and support the brides comments. I've had a similar situation but it wasn't at a wedding. Had this moronic friend in high school continuously confessing his undying love for me even though I was an out and proud lesbian WITH a long term (Ex) Girlfriend at the time. Would show up at my house unannounced, send letters, even professed to me directly. I had to shut that s**t down on multiple occasions, the last being my finally straw and had to go a little harder/harsher with my words. He eventually ended up being exiled from the friend group.
Yes, at my cousin's, the bride's ex showed up and when he stood up to object my uncles grabbed him and bum-rushed him out of the church and gave him a tune-up in the parking lot. Catholic wedding, of course.
I have a really weird family. Half of my family (my dad's side) are east coast WASPs. We're talking tweed jackets, prep schools, taking a brandy in the study, riding lessons... the whole kit and caboodle. The other half of my family (my mom's side) are East Texas hillbillies. I have an uncle who's gotten a DUI while riding a four-wheeler in *two separate incidents.* I have a cousin who is currently in prison because he tried to rob the tropical fish store where he worked. They arrested him when he tried to come in for his next shift. I went to a wedding of a cousin of mine from the hillbilly side once. First off, I never knew the whole *"Does anyone object to this union?"* thing was real. I thought that was s**t they only do on TV. Anyways, when the preacher asked that, the bride's mother made some noise and then excused herself, leaving the ceremony. She didn't say yes or anything-- but she definitely made some weird noise at a super inopportune time and then stood up and walked out. My aunt (the *groom's* mom) took that as a sign of disrespect and left to confront her. Yes. You heard that right. In the middle of her *son's wedding vows*, she decided to leave to go confront the bride's mother for making a noise. I'm not proud of these people. The ceremony ends and the bride and groom are being ushered out of the church and into a limo to take them to their reception... and out in the parking lot, my aunt and the bride's mother are locked up like two wrestlers. Then I hear someone shout *"OH, COME ON! YALL JUST QUIT IT!"* and I turn around to see my uncle and the bride's father are now fighting in the foyer of the church and the f*****g preacher is trying to break them up. To the surprise of *abso-f*****g-lutely* no one, that marriage lasted two whole years.
This will sound absolutely stupid but when I was a kid, my deeply religious aunt had her wedding at a local church. During the "objecting" part, lightning struck very near the church. I remember to this day how the following thunder was so loud, that the fancy windows of the church started rattling. Well, the timing of the strike was very unfortunate for my uncle because my aunt took this as a sign of a god objecting to her marriage and called the wedding off on the spot. Needless to say, they married on the same day year later and this time without "objection from a god". They are still married to this day.
I perform weddings but I do not give the option. I tell the bride and groom ahead of time that the guests have accepted the invitation to your wedding to bless it. If they have a problem with your decision they need to tell you long before that day. I didn't really think people gave that option outside of Hollywood. It just invites trouble. I take a similar approach for funerals. While I let families give as many eulogies as they want to for their deceased loved one, they must approve each speaker ahead of time. I do not pass the mic. I don't want some estranged lover or drunk uncle getting up and making a fool of the family or the deceased person. So far, so good.
In England - don't know about the rest of the UK - it's. legal requirement and has to be asked.
Yes, same under Scottish and Northern Irish law too (and in Wales, because English law applies in Wales)
Load More Replies...Many countries have different laws to the USA. In the UK it's a legal requirement to ask the question - presumably this is where Hollywood and many US church weddings take the wording from..
Way to preplan a smooth outcome for your ceremonies. This makes me feel like your really care about your job and the people who are involved. That, or you just don't like confrontation lol.
Was MoH to BFF. One of the groomsmen thought it would be funny to raise an objection. He did not understand that, by law, all proceedings had to be stopped and "investigated." Meaning the officiant had to take him aside to question him. He had the audacity to keep the "joke" going until the officiant said that he would not continue and the wedding would be called off. Both sets of parents and multiple guests also had to be questioned to confirm the objection was uncalled for. It took over an hour. The wedding scheduled after was set back 30 minutes - their guests started arriving while all this was going on. It was a huge mess. Dude thought it was hilarious. I clocked him with my fancy, dyed special for the day shoe the minute the (shortened) photoshoot was over. He was asked to not attend the reception. Bride & groom feared for his safety after I whacked him. They dropped him as a friend immediately. They will celebrate their 30th anniversary this June. Also note, this situation began the new tradition in my family of using Quaker Self-Uniting (available in Pennsylvania) marriage licenses and having a loved one officiate at the ceremony. It basically means that the couple is married the moment they and their witnesses sign and mail their license to the municipality. They are already married when the ceremony takes place. The question of an objection is not a part of the ceremony. Edit: changed a word for clarity
Clocked him with a shoe. Yeeeessss... very nice. Although - poor shoe. What a jackhole. "Har har har lookit how I delayed everything and screwed up the schedule and made everyone wait, they're so hungry and haw haw haw, I'm so funny" - no, you're not. Shoe time.
" I clocked him with my fancy, dyed special for the day shoe the minute the (shortened) photoshoot was over." - what does this mean? You hit him with a shoe?
That's what clocking someone with something means, yes. Personally I think it would have been easier to leave the shoe on and kick his a*s, literally.
Load More Replies...When my sister got married, they had the pastor skip over that part. I think she knew none of us could stand him. I don't think anyone would have spoken up to object, but the unity candle WOULD NOT light. So, in a way, I feel like that was God's way of objecting... or just irony at its best. Divorced about 8 years later after the abusive cheating a*****e was found out. So glad he is gone.
The mom of one of the Bridesmaids got up and yelled “Yeah I object: You f*****g stole him from her!” While pointing at the bride. I’ve known the groom for a long time and by proxy the bride. I am still very good friends with them. I have never seen her more infuriated than at that moment. The bridesmaid got up from her chair and was like “I’m so, so sorry. Let me get her out of here.” The bridesmaid and the bride’s stepfather escorted the woman out of the wedding and it continued.
Not familiar with bridal wear in the slightest but the picture attached to this entry has a gorgeous veil! The dress looks nice too, what I can see of it anyway.
Not a wedding I attended, but my best friend went to her aunt’s wedding. Aunt’s future (toxic) MIL whips out proof from Ancestry that they’re actually first cousins. Wedding was canceled, and the bride/groom haven’t spoken since.
First cousin marriage is somewhat common in developing and/or conservative countries. This is because socialising is limited to your local village and/or religious group.
It is legal here in France, I think, though not recommanded
Load More Replies...I worked a wedding where one of the moms objected, but I think the groom knew that the parent was going to say something, so they just responded with, "Oh sit down, (parents name), we knew you didn't like this a year ago and clearly we're not going to change our minds today." The wedding continued like nothing happened, but the mom was lowkey shunned and people avoided her at the reception.
My brother's wedding the wife's older brother objected because of political differences lol. He was asked to leave by the bride's father.
In my cousin's wedding her friend said "I object" because she was not invited to the wedding. She was kicked out of the wedding.
You are only allowed to object if there is a LEGAL problem with proceding, e.g. the partners are not divorced or are still married to their exes; one of the partner/s is not allowed to get married in that country e.g. due to not being a legal immigrant/citizen; or one of the partner/s has recently committed infidelity in that relationship (banging the bridesmaid scenario); and/or the partners are too close as relatives, e.g. siblings. Other than that, meh. No locus standi.
Banging the bridesmaid is only illegal if she didn't consent to it...
Load More Replies...I was at one. Didn’t know what happened as I was in the back. The bride runs out to the limo her family after her. I said to the person next to me Cold feet? She’s like oh no I thought this might happen. Her ex is here. We went outside. He’d apparently come into a lot of money he came to the side door front of the church said he objected because he’s rich and wants her back. She paused too long for the grooms liking he said Fuvk you both. She ran. Last I saw they were at the limo with her. She was crying. Have no idea how it ended but there was no wedding. We went to the reception no bridal party. We ate drank danced and left. 🤷🏻♀️
My MIL was/is a very emotionally and physically abusive person and really worked over my wife throughout the years. She didn't make a stink at the wedding, but she made sure that anyone near her, including my parents and myself, knew just how much she didn't like me and that she would make sure it didn't last. Tangentially she nearly got her wish. But despite all of that mess my wife and I are still married and my wife is now low contact with her mom.
My buddy wasn’t fully rejected at the altar, which sounds weird but I’ll explain. Without too much “back in the day” talk I’ll just say the groom was/is a good friend of mine I’d known since middle school (7th grade). He’d met this awesome gal and they were slated to be married in our then early 30’s. Come the wedding day and it’s almost a high school reunion of sorts (we attended a smallish private school), everyone stoked to see our grade school pal get married. We’re all seated outside waiting for the bride to come out and a reasonable amount of time goes by. People are just carrying on, catching up etc. I’ve got a flask and sharing it with people. The groom goes inside to see what’s up.. More time goes on, then some more, then my flask is empty and I want to go reload at the car but think better of it. Then the groom comes back out to address everyone and let’s us know that “this isn’t happening today, the bride doesn’t want to go through with it. We’re still together and everything but now isn’t the time….” then goes on to encourage everyone to eat the food, it’s already paid for etc. Here we are about 5 years later and they’re still together but not married. No harm, no foul I guess?
Maybe someting went right - like a moment of clarity.
Load More Replies...Why would you pay all that money for a wedding to not go through with it?
Some marriages are worth huge sums of money not to get into.
Load More Replies...Not exactly an objection but the wedding was on a boat ( no one could leave) and the groom was Jewish and marrying a Mexican catholic woman. The groom neglected to tell his family it was a full catholic wedding and the groom’s family stood up and pitched a fit when they realized the groom was going to take communion. The uncle who sponsored his bar mitzvah stood up and announced that the groom was a disgrace to the family and walked downstairs. The reception was a shitshow
haven’t been to personally but my mom said that her soon-to-be MIL stood up when the priest said “speak now or forever hold your peace”. upon being told that I never let it go. My mom worked her a*s off and got all her six kids into college. Screw that old lady, some people just can’t appreciate others. To this day she doesn’t like my mom but TBH their whole family never deserved my mom to begin with. Can anyone relate?
Yeah. My dads mom was like this to my mom. She never liked her nor did she like me or my brother bc of my mom. My dad was a real POS and beat the hell out of my mom and his mother always looked at my dad as the "golden" child. How, I have no idea. Even my grandfather, the best guy I've ever known, threw hands at my dad when he found out what he was doing. Basically, what he did was "so, you like hitting your wife, huh? Fight me then you bastard!!" Dads mom is dead now and my grandfather has been dead for about 35 years now.
Happily married man here, no objections at my wedding which one one had surprised me considering how much of a twaffle my wife’s stepmom is. But on the other hand, if she had opened her mouth at least half a dozen of my female relatives including my Sister would have dragged her out of the church and beat her on the sidewalk.
Heard that my father's girlfriend objected to him marrying my step-monster but was obviously OK with it after the honeymoon because they kept dating for years. I was only 2 at that time. Heard this story years later the night her and my mother reconnected at parent/teacher night. My mother being the parent and her being my sister's English teacher
From OP's comments: Dad dates Sue while married to Mom Mom divorces Dad. Dad continues to date Sue. Dad starts dating Medusa, continues dating Sue Dad marries Medusa, continues dating Sue. Sue eventually stops dating Dad and moves homes Years go by... Mom goes to parent night to discover Sue is daughters English teacher. Daughter gets an A+ in English LOL Names have been changes to protect the not so innocent
I used to work for a very high end wedding place and worked 100's of weddings and never got to witness a total disaster. Sex in the coat room was about the best it got, but the word "objection" wasn't in play in this situation.
Went to a Catholic wedding 40 years ago in Adelaide. At the critical point a guy calls "I do". He matches up the aisle with a grim look on his face behind the thickest glasses I have ever seen. Gets to the very confused couple, peers intently at the bride and then the groom, steps back and says " Damn, wrong church". He then marched back up the aisle and exits the church. We never found out what it was all about and didn't seem intended as a joke. Weird.
All the weddings I've been to, and the worst we've ever heard was the couple's child wailing suddenly during the pause after "speak now or forever hold your peace". Prescient child, BTW. They didn't make it a year.
My parents got married with only a janitor and a secretary there. I was 1 at the time and the person said "Anyone object?" No one said no but right as they were about to move on I ran up the aisle loudly screaming "NO NO NO NO NO!" They are still happily married though. :)
Last year I went to a wedding as a friend of the groom. The groom is sorta "a grown man but with a 17-year old's idea of how life is supposed to be"-type. He f***s up a lot but he loves his gf and she loves him. I think they are actually really good for eachother. But, a their wedding she took her time to enter the church and at some point we heard a car pulling in just outside the church (the car that was gonna drive them to the reception after the ceremony). I hear two of her friends right behind me and my bf say: "oh, is she running off?" "Dunno, but I hope she does". And I was shocked! But didn't say anything. Turns out we were at the same table as those friends at the dinner. I wonder, if they feel so against the groom, why they didn't object. (And also, so super weird that the priest had a speech about the couple to be married that was a lot about sex... 😳 did not need to know about that. Especially from a priest!?!)
I have a story about two of my cousins. The younger one got married first and at the wedding my older cousin said "I can't believe my younger sister got married first." The next summer we were going to her wedding to a nice young Jewish guy (she's Catholic). The Groom's Mother didn't object out loud, but she and her daughter both wore black to the wedding. A few months later my cousing and her husband ended up getting the marriage ennuled.
Went to a Catholic wedding 40 years ago in Adelaide. At the critical point a guy calls "I do". He matches up the aisle with a grim look on his face behind the thickest glasses I have ever seen. Gets to the very confused couple, peers intently at the bride and then the groom, steps back and says " Damn, wrong church". He then marched back up the aisle and exits the church. We never found out what it was all about and didn't seem intended as a joke. Weird.
All the weddings I've been to, and the worst we've ever heard was the couple's child wailing suddenly during the pause after "speak now or forever hold your peace". Prescient child, BTW. They didn't make it a year.
My parents got married with only a janitor and a secretary there. I was 1 at the time and the person said "Anyone object?" No one said no but right as they were about to move on I ran up the aisle loudly screaming "NO NO NO NO NO!" They are still happily married though. :)
Last year I went to a wedding as a friend of the groom. The groom is sorta "a grown man but with a 17-year old's idea of how life is supposed to be"-type. He f***s up a lot but he loves his gf and she loves him. I think they are actually really good for eachother. But, a their wedding she took her time to enter the church and at some point we heard a car pulling in just outside the church (the car that was gonna drive them to the reception after the ceremony). I hear two of her friends right behind me and my bf say: "oh, is she running off?" "Dunno, but I hope she does". And I was shocked! But didn't say anything. Turns out we were at the same table as those friends at the dinner. I wonder, if they feel so against the groom, why they didn't object. (And also, so super weird that the priest had a speech about the couple to be married that was a lot about sex... 😳 did not need to know about that. Especially from a priest!?!)
I have a story about two of my cousins. The younger one got married first and at the wedding my older cousin said "I can't believe my younger sister got married first." The next summer we were going to her wedding to a nice young Jewish guy (she's Catholic). The Groom's Mother didn't object out loud, but she and her daughter both wore black to the wedding. A few months later my cousing and her husband ended up getting the marriage ennuled.
