Image credits:  Stanford Smith / unsplash (not the actual photo)

A restaurant patron dealt with an unpleasant server

Image credits: Jonathan Borba / pexels (not the actual photo)

As she came to find out, the waitstaff’s attitude was out of bigotry

Image credits: Yusuf Çelik / pexels (not the actual photo)

Instead of reporting to the manager, the author issued a more stinging response

Image credits: Clay Banks / unsplash (not the actual photo)

However, her actions didn’t sit well with one of her companions

Image credits: IndependentFar8420

Racism can be both a nature and nurture issue

The absurdity that racism still exists today can be baffling. It may make you ask, “Where is it all coming from?” 

Yale University social psychologist Jennifer Richeson offered a simple explanation. In an interview with The Washington Post, she stated, “People learn to be whatever their society and culture teach them.”  

The nature vs. nurture debate has been longstanding in psychology. Experts question whether our characteristics are influenced by innate biological factors or the environment we grew up in. 

No one is born racist. However, something in how our brains are wired apparently creates discriminatory thinking. Here’s another explanation from NYU psychology professor Eric Knowles: “An us-them mentality is, unfortunately, a really basic part of our biology.” 

A skillful response is necessary against racial microaggressions

Image credits: Pressmaster / envato (not the actual photo)

What the author experienced is what experts refer to as racial microaggressions. It’s having the same prejudiced mindset that isn’t as outright as it was once. 

If you find yourself the victim of racism in any form, experts like Dr. Alex Klein advise giving a well-thought-out comeback. In an article for Medical News Today, he defines a “skillful response” as an approach meant to educate and not attack. 

However, Dr. Klein accepts the idea of a reply that best suits the situation. He says an assertive response may be called for, especially when done calmly. 

In the author’s case, she didn’t retaliate or label anyone a racist, which could’ve caused a ruckus. Instead, she responded in a way that would profoundly affect the server. It was a strong, warranted message. 

What do you think, dear readers? Was the author out of line? Did she deserve to be berated by her boyfriend’s mother? 

The author gave more information about the incident

Most commenters sided with her

But some didn’t agree with how she handled the situation