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Woman Dumps BF That She Supported For Over A Year While He Had No Job For Lack Of Self-Awareness
“Mo Money, Mo Problems,” rapped the Notorious B.I.G. once upon a time, and his words still ring true decades later. One recent survey found that a quarter of all couples consider money to be their biggest relationship issue, while another revealed that a third of Gen Z and millennials polled had broken up over finances.
When one guy lost his job just three months into a new relationship, he was lucky enough to have his girlfriend support him for the next year and a half. She stood by his side and helped him dig his way back up. Now that the guy’s finally found a job, he suspects his girlfriend is only after his money. And when she recently asked him if she could borrow a few bucks for a hair appointment, he refused. After some introspection and a massive fight, he’s wondering if he was maybe a little too selfish.
RELATED:
It’s not unusual for couples to argue about money, especially during a period of financial hardship
Image credits: Getty Images/Unsplash (not the actual photo)
One couple stuck it out when the boyfriend lost his job, but the trouble really began once he was back on his feet
Image credits: Jayson Hinrichsen/Unsplash (not the actual photo)
Image credits: Such_Management_4619
Survey finds that “Millennials fight with their partners about money more than anything else”
When more than 1,000 people took part in a survey, around a third of Gen Z and millennial respondents revealed they had previously ended a relationship over finances, while a third of those polled said they would break up with their partner if they did not share the same money values as them.
The study found that the biggest red flag for the Gen Z generation is when someone is unwilling to split expenses and expects them to pay for everything. But for millennials, it’s reckless spending. Other “icks” include hiding accounts, having a lot of debt, being financially dependent on family or friends, and being “controlling” when it comes to finances.
“Money can represent both power and security in relationships, making it a challenging, but necessary, issue for couples to navigate. Financial boundaries should be respected in relationships, and continually overstepping this line is the sign of an issue,” cautioned relationship psychologist and dating expert Zoe Coetzee.
Image credits: Getty Images/Unsplash (not the actual photo)
Most young couples admitted to not talking about finances until they reached a major milestone in their relationship, like moving in together or getting engaged or married. “This lack of communication has led many to reconsider their relationships and, in some cases, end them altogether,” noted Credit Karma, when releasing the results of the poll.
While they’re reluctant to have finance discussions early on, many young people did admit to researching a new partner’s job to gauge how much money they make. 35% of Gen Z and 25% of millennials said they do this before getting deeply involved.
Experts advise couples to talk about finances openly and honestly, as early as possible. “Betrayal from financial mismanagement can be traumatizing and have a similar effect on a relationship as infidelity,” warned relationship specialist Jen Elmquist. “Recovering often requires the support of a couples therapist and a financial planner to make sure that, going forward, there is some accountability.”
Finances came out as a major bone of contention for Gen Z and millennial couples. More than half of them said they fight about money in their romantic relationships. And over 40% argue about cash on a monthly basis. According to the survey, for millennial couples, money is the biggest source of arguments in their relationships, above not being present, being on a smartphone, spending time together, chores and intimacy.
“You’re a user”: netizens didn’t mince their words when weighing in on the issue
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What do you think ?
Jill Rhodry 3 weeks ago
He's been a kept man for 18months (after being together for three measly months) and he's calling her a gold-digger for asking to borrow money because she's in debt because of him - um...who's the gold digger...
LakotaWolf (she/her) 3 weeks ago (edited)
"She paid everything for me for a year and a half and let me use her car, which I am STILL borrowing even though I have a job now." In the next breath: "She only wants me for my money now that SHE doesn't have a job!" ....sigh XD EDIT: holy sheezis! I went back to check their ages and THIS MAN IS 38 YEARS OLD. I thought he was like 22. He's ALMOST 40. He's even sh!ttier than I originally thought!
Load More Replies...
Traveling Lady Railfan 3 weeks ago
"I'm broke, got no job, no house, no assets, but I'm afraid to date cuz women will just want me for my money." (Not the exact situation here but that's what it reminds me of)
Sergio Bicerra 3 weeks ago
Sadly, my brother was like this, he met a girl online and then she told him she got a son, then he told me she may be after his money and wanting a dad for her son. I reminded him that he has NO job, NO finished studies, NO savings and NOT even a bank account, so pleas do her and many more a favor and just uninstall Tinder.
Load More Replies...
Deborah B 3 weeks ago
You have her car. You owe her money. She supported you while you were unemployed. You are "slowly" paying her back the debt she incurred on your behalf. She asks you for money one time to avoid losing a deposit due to a cash flow problem. Rather than recognising that the reason she has a problem is because you've maxed out her creditcards and overdraft, and drained her savings so she has no buffer anymore, you call her a golddigger, and get self-righteous about her wanting a haircut. Glad to see she dumped you. Hope she takes you to court and gets everything she loaned you back.
Cronecast AtTheRisingMoon 2 weeks ago
And he couldn’t just do it to be kind to her. Just…wow. He also still owes her money but still had the gall to judge the expenditure. She saved his butt and he couldn’t just say, “ of course, I love you and want to help make your life better too!” She’s made a lucky escape and hopefully learned a lesson about types to avoid.
Load More Replies...
Cronecast AtTheRisingMoon 2 weeks ago
The most gobsmacking detail is he was upset that she didn’t ask about his day first. Yes, she had the audacity to prioritize herself in one conversation as her car is at your place with the roof over your head she made sure you kept. Thoroughly awful man who will likely lose the job he got due to lack of transportation. All because he couldn’t care about anything important to her before focusing on him.
Load More Replies...
Granny's Thoughts 3 weeks ago
This is only yhe 2nd time I've seen 100% that he's the as-hole. This guy really deserves being called that and more. What an ungrateful jerk.
Snazzy Smurf 3 weeks ago
This guy represents "if audacity were a picture!" She took care of this AH for 3/4 of their relationship. He had nothing to offer but dirty socks and underwear, yet she is the gold digger? Make it make sense. Paying for her haircut should have been a no brainer especially since she was his amazing partner who gave him 150% of herself. Oh well,.he messed that up as she was probably the best he will ever get. He is a complete I dee ot who deserves to be alone since he couldn't find it within himself to do something simple to make his partner happy.
chickpea me 3 weeks ago
Snazzy Smurf, I agree 100%. But this really outstages guys in general. That woman should be glad she got out in time. Better to forget your losses than to keep investing in a loser. I hope she will land on a guy that is appreciative of her generosity and will spoil her with the money he makes and not keep a score or give some half baked excuses as the fine example we read about above. I have a daughter and I let her make her own mistakes but this did scare me and makes me wonder...am I right or am I wrong in this?
Load More Replies... chickpea me 3 weeks ago
Really this man trumps all others. He knows full well he should have given her the money but he’s posting it because he simply wants to find that one kindred spirit that agrees with him. You Sir, wouldn’t know a good thing even if it hit you with a mallet. I would put it to you that the excuses you made should be saved to warn others if they are wondering about AM I A JERK? CONVINCE ME I AM NOT? And you only get weirdo answers. That woman had sense enough to dodge a real bullet. I wish you many regrets in life because of your whining attitude.
Casey Logan 3 weeks ago
Glad she dumped this useless excuse for a human. I supported my ex for 3 years, paid her rent, and paid for her medical procedures and surgeries on her spine, my hotel stays, flights etc. I ran up a debt of just over £25k on the surgeries alone. She left me 3 months later, after she fully healed.
Glen Ellyn 3 weeks ago
I'm sorry you got treated like this. Obviously, your ex is a user. My brother has been used three times now, but I think he's finally learned that sometimes it just doesn't pay to be the nice guy. I talked to him just tonight and I'm satisfied that he is finally done with the latest one and is in a good place. I think he's just too nice and when he sees someone in need or in a bad way, he tries to help.
Load More Replies...
Traveling Lady Railfan 3 weeks ago
You know what the best part of the story was, that the girlfriend realized what was going on finally, and broke up with him. Cuz that would have been pretty sad, had she stayed. So, girlfriend, if you're out there, good for you.
Christos Arvanitis 3 weeks ago
"Her" car is mostly at his place? Then it's not her car, that you allegedly got her. What a massive twat a-hole...
SheamusFanFrom1987 3 weeks ago
Good Lord, ya yob, just sod off this planet and stop giving us men a bad name. She has been helping you for the better half of a year and a half and you moan and b-word about a haircut??? She is after your money, huh? Pray tell WHAT money exactly...??? Whatever you put into her car was the return of you using it while you were in debt. Man, I hope she kept the car after dumping your miserable behind. I've heard of broke as a joke but OP is broke AND a joke instead. SMH!!! -_-"
Gavin Johnson 3 weeks ago
So he got dumped. Is that a surprise? She supports him through a difficult patch, he repays some of the debt that built up, she asks for some short term support and he uses as an opportunity to get some leverage, why ever did she dump him I wonder?! When someone shows you their true colours, believe them.
chickpea me 2 weeks ago
Gavin? Would that be a guy’s name? So it was her fault? And she deserved it, did she? Brother if you think the woman is dumb, ok, that is your right but there’s a name for men like him far more distasteful than dumb...it’s called a grifter and a stingy one at that. If you are dumb you can always educate yourself but please do tell me what a stingy grifter can do to better himself??? Nothing, because he doesn’t think there could be anything wrong with him. It was nice of you to take his side but try him to pay for your haircut? ...Deeply sorry for not looking at your profile...seems hairsalons are only a memory. Look you are in no way ugly, the dog is gorgeous and you can spell too. Why not be a little nicer and agree this is in no way a good BF? Give that dog a big kiss from me, he’s really lovely.
Load More Replies...
Barbara Deskins 2 weeks ago
hope he still pays her back after the break-up...but men like this rarely do
Dream Pilot 2 weeks ago (edited)
i dont know if this is a rage bait story, but if its true, he is a leech and a stupid ungrateful burden, fortunately for her to dump him...
Mark Childers 2 weeks ago
Just wow! How can people go through life with such little self-awareness or care?
Beak Hookage 2 weeks ago
So this tool is lucky enough to find himself an amazingly kind and selfless girlfriend and THIS is how he treats her? Prick. I'm glad she dumped his worthless rear.
Lynn Binn 2 weeks ago
LOLOLOL GOOD FOR HER! Worse thing is, she could've been testing your dumb a*s to see if you would be kind enough to show up for her when SHE needed YOU. You FAILEEEEDDDD. LOL I'm happy she's not an idiot. Cheers to you girlfriend! Booh to you dummy. This could've been a wonderful opportunity for you to demonstrate some thoughtfulness. You suuuucccckkkk.
kkrq2vk4tm 3 weeks ago
If you chose to support your partner in a relationship then you do just that, you don't expect to get 'paid back' unless you've made it clearly that you expect your support to be returned, you don't use 'opportunities' to see what you can claw back and then throw a fit because they act in a way that doesn't suit you, just learn a life lesson and move on
person (i think) 2 weeks ago
From the title I expected this to have been written by the girlfriend in the boyfriend’s voice to show him how ridiculous he was being. Didn’t expect the boyfriend to personally show what am unabashed tool he is
KatSaidWhat 2 weeks ago
Today is one of those rare days where we are all YTA and it's not unhinged.
Okiedokie 3 weeks ago (edited)
I think this guy is a user, & I think women are really heavily socialized to be caregivers and to not just bloody say no to needy jerks. If you need a debt system to ensure the survival of your relationship, you should not have a relationship [or at least that particular relationship]. If you're not okay with things being uneven or unbalanced, don't do it. It just builds resentment later. No 'how are you' or 'hey, it's great to hear your voice' before asking for money pretty well indicates the relationship is exchange-related...which isn't her fault...but it's so much easier to not do this in the first place. Also, 90% of the time when these guys DO get on their feet, they don't appreciate you regardless, because you had to self-sabotage to support them. They don't respect you.
Jill Rhodry 3 weeks ago
He's been a kept man for 18months (after being together for three measly months) and he's calling her a gold-digger for asking to borrow money because she's in debt because of him - um...who's the gold digger...
LakotaWolf (she/her) 3 weeks ago (edited)
"She paid everything for me for a year and a half and let me use her car, which I am STILL borrowing even though I have a job now." In the next breath: "She only wants me for my money now that SHE doesn't have a job!" ....sigh XD EDIT: holy sheezis! I went back to check their ages and THIS MAN IS 38 YEARS OLD. I thought he was like 22. He's ALMOST 40. He's even sh!ttier than I originally thought!
Load More Replies... Traveling Lady Railfan 3 weeks ago
"I'm broke, got no job, no house, no assets, but I'm afraid to date cuz women will just want me for my money." (Not the exact situation here but that's what it reminds me of)
Sergio Bicerra 3 weeks ago
Sadly, my brother was like this, he met a girl online and then she told him she got a son, then he told me she may be after his money and wanting a dad for her son. I reminded him that he has NO job, NO finished studies, NO savings and NOT even a bank account, so pleas do her and many more a favor and just uninstall Tinder.
Load More Replies... Deborah B 3 weeks ago
You have her car. You owe her money. She supported you while you were unemployed. You are "slowly" paying her back the debt she incurred on your behalf. She asks you for money one time to avoid losing a deposit due to a cash flow problem. Rather than recognising that the reason she has a problem is because you've maxed out her creditcards and overdraft, and drained her savings so she has no buffer anymore, you call her a golddigger, and get self-righteous about her wanting a haircut. Glad to see she dumped you. Hope she takes you to court and gets everything she loaned you back.
Cronecast AtTheRisingMoon 2 weeks ago
And he couldn’t just do it to be kind to her. Just…wow. He also still owes her money but still had the gall to judge the expenditure. She saved his butt and he couldn’t just say, “ of course, I love you and want to help make your life better too!” She’s made a lucky escape and hopefully learned a lesson about types to avoid.
Load More Replies... Cronecast AtTheRisingMoon 2 weeks ago
The most gobsmacking detail is he was upset that she didn’t ask about his day first. Yes, she had the audacity to prioritize herself in one conversation as her car is at your place with the roof over your head she made sure you kept. Thoroughly awful man who will likely lose the job he got due to lack of transportation. All because he couldn’t care about anything important to her before focusing on him.
Load More Replies... Granny's Thoughts 3 weeks ago
This is only yhe 2nd time I've seen 100% that he's the as-hole. This guy really deserves being called that and more. What an ungrateful jerk.
Snazzy Smurf 3 weeks ago
This guy represents "if audacity were a picture!" She took care of this AH for 3/4 of their relationship. He had nothing to offer but dirty socks and underwear, yet she is the gold digger? Make it make sense. Paying for her haircut should have been a no brainer especially since she was his amazing partner who gave him 150% of herself. Oh well,.he messed that up as she was probably the best he will ever get. He is a complete I dee ot who deserves to be alone since he couldn't find it within himself to do something simple to make his partner happy.
chickpea me 3 weeks ago
Snazzy Smurf, I agree 100%. But this really outstages guys in general. That woman should be glad she got out in time. Better to forget your losses than to keep investing in a loser. I hope she will land on a guy that is appreciative of her generosity and will spoil her with the money he makes and not keep a score or give some half baked excuses as the fine example we read about above. I have a daughter and I let her make her own mistakes but this did scare me and makes me wonder...am I right or am I wrong in this?
Load More Replies... chickpea me 3 weeks ago
Really this man trumps all others. He knows full well he should have given her the money but he’s posting it because he simply wants to find that one kindred spirit that agrees with him. You Sir, wouldn’t know a good thing even if it hit you with a mallet. I would put it to you that the excuses you made should be saved to warn others if they are wondering about AM I A JERK? CONVINCE ME I AM NOT? And you only get weirdo answers. That woman had sense enough to dodge a real bullet. I wish you many regrets in life because of your whining attitude.
Casey Logan 3 weeks ago
Glad she dumped this useless excuse for a human. I supported my ex for 3 years, paid her rent, and paid for her medical procedures and surgeries on her spine, my hotel stays, flights etc. I ran up a debt of just over £25k on the surgeries alone. She left me 3 months later, after she fully healed.
Glen Ellyn 3 weeks ago
I'm sorry you got treated like this. Obviously, your ex is a user. My brother has been used three times now, but I think he's finally learned that sometimes it just doesn't pay to be the nice guy. I talked to him just tonight and I'm satisfied that he is finally done with the latest one and is in a good place. I think he's just too nice and when he sees someone in need or in a bad way, he tries to help.
Load More Replies... Traveling Lady Railfan 3 weeks ago
You know what the best part of the story was, that the girlfriend realized what was going on finally, and broke up with him. Cuz that would have been pretty sad, had she stayed. So, girlfriend, if you're out there, good for you.
Christos Arvanitis 3 weeks ago
"Her" car is mostly at his place? Then it's not her car, that you allegedly got her. What a massive twat a-hole...
SheamusFanFrom1987 3 weeks ago
Good Lord, ya yob, just sod off this planet and stop giving us men a bad name. She has been helping you for the better half of a year and a half and you moan and b-word about a haircut??? She is after your money, huh? Pray tell WHAT money exactly...??? Whatever you put into her car was the return of you using it while you were in debt. Man, I hope she kept the car after dumping your miserable behind. I've heard of broke as a joke but OP is broke AND a joke instead. SMH!!! -_-"
Gavin Johnson 3 weeks ago
So he got dumped. Is that a surprise? She supports him through a difficult patch, he repays some of the debt that built up, she asks for some short term support and he uses as an opportunity to get some leverage, why ever did she dump him I wonder?! When someone shows you their true colours, believe them.
chickpea me 2 weeks ago
Gavin? Would that be a guy’s name? So it was her fault? And she deserved it, did she? Brother if you think the woman is dumb, ok, that is your right but there’s a name for men like him far more distasteful than dumb...it’s called a grifter and a stingy one at that. If you are dumb you can always educate yourself but please do tell me what a stingy grifter can do to better himself??? Nothing, because he doesn’t think there could be anything wrong with him. It was nice of you to take his side but try him to pay for your haircut? ...Deeply sorry for not looking at your profile...seems hairsalons are only a memory. Look you are in no way ugly, the dog is gorgeous and you can spell too. Why not be a little nicer and agree this is in no way a good BF? Give that dog a big kiss from me, he’s really lovely.
Load More Replies... Barbara Deskins 2 weeks ago
hope he still pays her back after the break-up...but men like this rarely do
Dream Pilot 2 weeks ago (edited)
i dont know if this is a rage bait story, but if its true, he is a leech and a stupid ungrateful burden, fortunately for her to dump him...
Mark Childers 2 weeks ago
Just wow! How can people go through life with such little self-awareness or care?
Beak Hookage 2 weeks ago
So this tool is lucky enough to find himself an amazingly kind and selfless girlfriend and THIS is how he treats her? Prick. I'm glad she dumped his worthless rear.
Lynn Binn 2 weeks ago
LOLOLOL GOOD FOR HER! Worse thing is, she could've been testing your dumb a*s to see if you would be kind enough to show up for her when SHE needed YOU. You FAILEEEEDDDD. LOL I'm happy she's not an idiot. Cheers to you girlfriend! Booh to you dummy. This could've been a wonderful opportunity for you to demonstrate some thoughtfulness. You suuuucccckkkk.
kkrq2vk4tm 3 weeks ago
If you chose to support your partner in a relationship then you do just that, you don't expect to get 'paid back' unless you've made it clearly that you expect your support to be returned, you don't use 'opportunities' to see what you can claw back and then throw a fit because they act in a way that doesn't suit you, just learn a life lesson and move on
person (i think) 2 weeks ago
From the title I expected this to have been written by the girlfriend in the boyfriend’s voice to show him how ridiculous he was being. Didn’t expect the boyfriend to personally show what am unabashed tool he is
KatSaidWhat 2 weeks ago
Today is one of those rare days where we are all YTA and it's not unhinged.
Okiedokie 3 weeks ago (edited)
I think this guy is a user, & I think women are really heavily socialized to be caregivers and to not just bloody say no to needy jerks. If you need a debt system to ensure the survival of your relationship, you should not have a relationship [or at least that particular relationship]. If you're not okay with things being uneven or unbalanced, don't do it. It just builds resentment later. No 'how are you' or 'hey, it's great to hear your voice' before asking for money pretty well indicates the relationship is exchange-related...which isn't her fault...but it's so much easier to not do this in the first place. Also, 90% of the time when these guys DO get on their feet, they don't appreciate you regardless, because you had to self-sabotage to support them. They don't respect you.
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