“[Am I The Jerk] For Not Letting My Sister’s Kids Eat My Special Cookies?”
If you remember the wonderful cartoon Coco, then the memory of those who passed away remains as long as there is at least one person in this world who remembers them. That is why we visit the graves of our deceased relatives and loved ones, light candles, remember different touching stories…
The user u/Accomplished_Lab3043, the author of today’s tale, also had such a ritual, in memory of her late father. A ritual that was once threatened by her little niblings, who loved sweets very much.
More info: Reddit
The author of the post lost her dad in 2017 and since then, she has had a special tradition to commemorate him
Image credits: freepik (not the actual photo)
She usually bakes some cookies with his special recipe and then eats them at his grave
Image credits: Accomplished_Lab3043
Image credits: prostooleh (not the actual photo)
The dad was a special person to the author and she misses him so much even after so many years
Image credits: Accomplished_Lab3043
Image credits: freepik (not the actual photo)
Recently the author’s elder sister came over with her kids, they found the box with the cookies – and ate them all
Image credits: Accomplished_Lab3043
The author was very upset and disappointed and asked the sister to teach the kids a lesson of not taking other people’s property
The Original Poster (OP), a 28-year-old woman, has had one tradition for many years – every year she bakes cookies according to a special recipe once told to her by her dad. Then the cookies are put in a box – and after that the woman goes to the cemetery.
Among the gravestones, she finds a noticeable place where the year of death is engraved – 2017, and sits on the grave for a long time. She eats these cookies, tells dad how she’s doing, remembers their memorable moments…
Dad was very important to our heroine. He always supported her in difficult times and shared his favorite baking recipes with her. It was he who actually taught her to bake – and they stood together at the stove when the original poster dreamed of becoming a baker. Her father has been gone for several years, but the OP keeps missing him. And these cookies have become part of a kind of ritual for her. Just him and her.
And so, this year the woman baked cookies again, put them in a box in the pantry – and went to meet her elder sister who came over to visit her with two kids. Six and four years old. Aunt loves children, but sometimes she sincerely believes that they are too curious and nosy. However, all kids at this age are probably like that.
But how upset the OP was when she discovered that her treasured box of cookies was empty! It turned out that the kids had found it – and, of course, eaten them all. No, our heroine didn’t lash out at the children and her sister with a barrage of criticism – she simply admitted that she was very upset. And asked her sister to make sure that the kids did not take what didn’t belong to them.
And yet, given the young age of both kids – and the fact that it is very difficult to keep a child from the temptation to eat an appetizing cookie when it’s lying right in front of them – the OP succumbed to doubts. Doubts about how appropriately she had acted here. And the woman decided to ask the netizens for advice.
Image credits: amirali mirhashemian (not the actual photo)
“On the one hand, most children love sweets. On the other hand – this is, of course, a question of upbringing – that the children, having found a box of cookies in the aunt’s pantry, decided that they could eat everything without asking permission,” says Irina Matveeva, a psychologist and certified NLP specialist, with whom Bored Panda got in touch for a comment here.
“After all, four and especially six years is the age when kids already understand that a closed box in the pantry is not the same as a treat on the table.”
“You can easily understand this woman’s disappointment, for whom baking has probably become a kind of ritual in memory of a person dear to her. Most likely, she will bake cookies again, but it will already have a slightly different vibe… And, in principle, she did nothing reprehensible – she just politely asked her sister to teach the kids not to touch other people’s things.”
“In any case, I do believe that what happened will not cause a feud between the sisters, the children will receive a valuable life lesson, and this woman will again come to her father’s grave and honor his memory. Maybe next time – together with her sister?” Irina Matveeva presumes.
As for the commentors to the original post, most supported the author, arguing that the sister should better teach her children to respect the personal boundaries of other people. And other people’s property, too. “Your sister needs to learn to be a better parent and set boundaries – and watch her kids!” someone wrote in the comments. “No is a complete sentence, and it sounds like these kids need to become better acquainted with it.”
On the other hand, some responders urge the OP to simply bake more cookies – and share them with her sister’s offspring. After all, her father, apparently a kind and sympathetic person, would only be happy. “Wouldn’t your Dad want you to share the cookies as that is the entire point of making a bunch of cookies?” another person pondered quite reasonably.
Well, the original poster later updated her post. She told that her sister came to visit her again with the kids and apologized for their behavior. The author, in turn, asked her not to punish the children for this situation – after all, their late grandpa would only be happy that his grandkids ate his memorable cookies. Be that as it may, this story ended well, and we’re only happy about it.
Most of the commenters sided with the woman – but later she herself added that the sister brought apologies and they made peace
Poll Question
Thanks! Check out the results:
The greedy little brats ate an ENTIRE CAKE and an ENTIRE TIN OF COOKIES?! Without anyone even trying to stop them? This is bad parenting *and* really unhealthy for the kids.
Yes. I'm tired of this kids will be kids inanity. Set boundaries. Watch your kids. Teach them that this behavior is never ok. Do it now, before they do damage, like the kids around here that broke windows, and shut down the pool.
Load More Replies...I'd be furious if anybody- family, friends, or strangers; raided our cabinets without asking
The last comment isn't understanding. Making those cookies as a memory of her private time with her dad is HER way of grieving and remembering him. Yes sharing is cool and all, but it is not about the cookies, it is about the memories they bring her.
I agree, but don't really think it's relevant either way. Kids should not be allowed to eat _anything_ they're not explicitly offered. Helping yourself to someone else's food without even asking is unforgivable regardless of what it is and what it means. There's also a shedload of safety issue in just giving them free rein to someone else's pantry.
Load More Replies...The greedy little brats ate an ENTIRE CAKE and an ENTIRE TIN OF COOKIES?! Without anyone even trying to stop them? This is bad parenting *and* really unhealthy for the kids.
Yes. I'm tired of this kids will be kids inanity. Set boundaries. Watch your kids. Teach them that this behavior is never ok. Do it now, before they do damage, like the kids around here that broke windows, and shut down the pool.
Load More Replies...I'd be furious if anybody- family, friends, or strangers; raided our cabinets without asking
The last comment isn't understanding. Making those cookies as a memory of her private time with her dad is HER way of grieving and remembering him. Yes sharing is cool and all, but it is not about the cookies, it is about the memories they bring her.
I agree, but don't really think it's relevant either way. Kids should not be allowed to eat _anything_ they're not explicitly offered. Helping yourself to someone else's food without even asking is unforgivable regardless of what it is and what it means. There's also a shedload of safety issue in just giving them free rein to someone else's pantry.
Load More Replies...
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