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How could we recognize a bad person? Culture and, in particular, cinema, give us a lot of advice, but they often turn out to be absolutely unusable in real life. After all, stereotyped scoundrels, with a look from under their brows and an ominous laugh, exuding evil with their whole appearance, practically do not occur in reality.

On the contrary, a really bad person, rather, will be incredibly pleasant in communication, will do everything to ingratiate themselves with you - and then, when they reach their goal, they will definitely do something harmful to you. But there is a wonderful science of psychology, and it helps, by the smallest, seemingly invisible at first glance, signs, to determine that you are dealing with someone who is not as good as they seem.

A thread starter appeared on the AskReddit community just one day ago, asking the question: "What is a subtle sign someone isn't a good person?" The result is over 15.4K upvotes and approximately 9.2K various comments. Now it will definitely be much more difficult for the villains to ingratiate themselves with us!

Bored Panda has compiled for you a selection of the most popular and useful tips from the original thread. Therefore, feel free to read, scroll to the very end, leave your own comments - and may bad people never cross your life path!

More info: Reddit

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    #2

    30 Not-That-Obvious Signs That Show That Someone Isn’t A Good Person, As Shared In This Online Group Littering. It's not a violent act or anything, but it does indicate a lack of respect that usually carries into other aspects of the person's life.

    BeskarVagina , charcoal soul Report

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    DennyS (denzoren)
    Community Member
    2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    I think I posted this here a while back. I once threw a cup outside the car window when I was a really young kid and it haunted me for years. I have never littered since that day. It was so culturally accepted I never questioned it as a kid.

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    #3

    30 Not-That-Obvious Signs That Show That Someone Isn’t A Good Person, As Shared In This Online Group How they treat people in the service industry. When they act like they are better than waiters, fast food employees, or retail workers.

    Admiral_Fancypants , Quinn Dombrowski Report

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    Bmo
    Community Member
    2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    I refuse to go out to a meal with someone like this. One I get embarrassed and 2, I feel that I need to stand up for the worker.

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    #4

    30 Not-That-Obvious Signs That Show That Someone Isn’t A Good Person, As Shared In This Online Group Their treatment of the weakest members of society including defenceless animals, the homeless and those in low service positions.

    vidalotus , Eli Christman Report

    #5

    30 Not-That-Obvious Signs That Show That Someone Isn’t A Good Person, As Shared In This Online Group Not owning up to their mistakes and always attributing it to someone or something else.

    tiredandsad1 , Danko Münzel Report

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    DrBronxx
    Community Member
    2 years ago (edited) DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    "if everyone around you is the problem, maybe you're the problem"

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    #6

    30 Not-That-Obvious Signs That Show That Someone Isn’t A Good Person, As Shared In This Online Group They don’t put the shopping cart in the designated area and leave it randomly in the parking lot.

    peanutbrittle2018 , 7C0 Report

    #7

    30 Not-That-Obvious Signs That Show That Someone Isn’t A Good Person, As Shared In This Online Group They have a habit of talking bad about other people behind their backs and spreading gossip and rumor. You can tell a lot about a person by observing how they talk about their peers behind their back.
    When a person occasionally vents by talking bad about someone (like their boss, or classmate) because of some unpleasant experience, that's okay. We all do it. But when a person habitually talks s**t about people behind their back, that's a big red flag.

    HopelessDude96 , Carl Nenzén Lovén Report

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    LittlePiggie
    Community Member
    2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    My mama always taught me if they gossip to you behind others' backs, they'll gossip about you behind your back.

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    #8

    30 Not-That-Obvious Signs That Show That Someone Isn’t A Good Person, As Shared In This Online Group When they talk about themselves then stop listening when u talk about yourself

    Chronicl-ill-Daniel , Jason Lander Report

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    #9

    30 Not-That-Obvious Signs That Show That Someone Isn’t A Good Person, As Shared In This Online Group They believe that respect is earned but demand it immediately from you.

    GrilledCheeser , Pedro Ribeiro Simões Report

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    StrangeOne
    Community Member
    2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Those who say that are power trippers and place themselves so high up on a pedestal they think they're royalty. A lot of gangster wannabes and drug dealers act like that.

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    #10

    30 Not-That-Obvious Signs That Show That Someone Isn’t A Good Person, As Shared In This Online Group Casual unnecessary lying

    Dense_Composer_8479 , Jean-Etienne Minh-Duy Poirrier Report

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    JelliTate
    Community Member
    2 years ago (edited) DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Insecurity. Takes a LONG time to get it out of your system. (The lying I mean.)

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    #11

    30 Not-That-Obvious Signs That Show That Someone Isn’t A Good Person, As Shared In This Online Group When they see someone else's progress or success as a threat.

    Aggravating_Gift_520 , Luke Jones Follow Report

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    Ronda News Channel
    Community Member
    2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    I found a quote in my native language that means 'Happy with someone's trouble and annoyed with someone's success.'

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    #12

    30 Not-That-Obvious Signs That Show That Someone Isn’t A Good Person, As Shared In This Online Group I've learned that when someone is claiming to be really "direct" or "blunt" or "honest" it is often a self justification for being controlling and rude.

    VerkinGhettoRex , A Healthier Michigan Report

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    Doctor Strange
    Community Member
    2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Those who claim to be brutally honest are usually more interested in the 'brutal' than the 'honest'. It is entirely possible to be honest without being brutal.

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    #13

    30 Not-That-Obvious Signs That Show That Someone Isn’t A Good Person, As Shared In This Online Group All their exes are crazy and nothing negative is ever their fault.

    forestfairygremlin , Christopher Bowns Report

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    Hill Branda
    Community Member
    2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    If all their exes are crazy, you have wonder why they kept choosing to date crazy people.

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    #14

    30 Not-That-Obvious Signs That Show That Someone Isn’t A Good Person, As Shared In This Online Group When they don't say things like thank you or please.

    I just automatically assume people are a**holes when they can't do these basic, easy acts of kindness.

    Maco1ycyx , Panos Sakalakis Report

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    Bmo
    Community Member
    2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    A few times I've had to repeat myself when I've said Thank You to someone and they don't respond at all. Takes just a moment to respond.

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    #15

    30 Not-That-Obvious Signs That Show That Someone Isn’t A Good Person, As Shared In This Online Group Passively aggressively insulting you in front of a group of people in such a way that you can’t say anything back without looking like you’re the emotional one even though you know that they intentionally insulted you to disrespect you.

    HackTheNight , Chris Fithall Report

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    StrangeOne
    Community Member
    2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    It's sad our emotions are policed like this. F**k it. Get upset. Cry if you want to. Don't laugh. Our emotions are ours. Own them. The only reason people hate seeing you emote your true feelings is because it makes them uncomfortable. It makes them uncomfortable because they don't feel they're allowed to express their feelings outwardly, and don't believe anyone else should either. That's their problem. Don't allow them to make their problem your problem. They can leave any time.

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    #16

    30 Not-That-Obvious Signs That Show That Someone Isn’t A Good Person, As Shared In This Online Group The common denominator. They fall out with people all the time but it’s always the other persons fault or family members don’t talk to them but that’s not their fault because they’ve done nothing wrong.
    It’s never them, it’s always everyone else is out to get them or is unreasonable, yet they’re the only common denominator in all the situations with all these supposedly shitty people

    Well_red_1431 , Pille Kirsi Report

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    StrangeOne
    Community Member
    2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Yup. Much of these are someone I know to a 'T'. I'm beginning to think she's not a very good person.

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    #17

    30 Not-That-Obvious Signs That Show That Someone Isn’t A Good Person, As Shared In This Online Group They demand forgiveness instead of asking for it.

    "I said I was sorry, it's done now. Get over it."

    MaliciousPorpoise , cottonbro Report

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    #19

    30 Not-That-Obvious Signs That Show That Someone Isn’t A Good Person, As Shared In This Online Group They share private information about others with you

    RaeDeclin , del mich Report

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    DennyS (denzoren)
    Community Member
    2 years ago (edited) DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Oh yes, That's private for a reason. The only people I confide in are my closest friends.

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    #20

    30 Not-That-Obvious Signs That Show That Someone Isn’t A Good Person, As Shared In This Online Group Doesn’t help other people unless it benefits themself

    ERICxCARTMAN , Joe Shlabotnik Report

    #21

    30 Not-That-Obvious Signs That Show That Someone Isn’t A Good Person, As Shared In This Online Group They always have to be the victim

    TheMightySweater , Keenan Constance Report

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    JMil
    Community Member
    2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    People who constantly play the victim card are hard to be around. Do tell, what went wrong today and who is at fault? Never you, of course.

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    #22

    30 Not-That-Obvious Signs That Show That Someone Isn’t A Good Person, As Shared In This Online Group Regular putdowns that are disguised as "jokes"

    EDIT: I think I need to be more clear here. I'm talking about "jokes" that they either carry on long after everyone else has stopped, or alternatively legit insults that they will *only* claim is a joke if you get upset.

    yeetgodmcnechass , Chris Hunkeler Report

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    TheAquarius1978
    Community Member
    2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    That is desgusting, and this comming from a guy with a pitch black sence of humor, many Times a put myself down to promote a laugh ( fell free to check my comenta if in doubt ) i Mock myself before mocking someone else.

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    #23

    30 Not-That-Obvious Signs That Show That Someone Isn’t A Good Person, As Shared In This Online Group If they’re dismissive of what you have to say or want to share.

    MarvelousJoe , Rui Fernandes Report

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    JMil
    Community Member
    2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Dominating the conversation. That look in their eyes when you know they aren't listening (in the rare moments they aren't talking) but only waiting for themselves to interject and talk again (usually about themselves).

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    #24

    30 Not-That-Obvious Signs That Show That Someone Isn’t A Good Person, As Shared In This Online Group A lot of these are kind of blatant. To me a really subtle clue is when people are unable to be happy for others the moment things go wrong with their own life. Less obvious than people who fail to empathize with pain, and also less obvious than people who dismiss or minimize accomplishments, but ultimately indicative of the same empathy deficiency. Specifically in acquaintanceships and close friendships.

    “I don’t want to hear about your fiancé proposing to you when my boyfriend just dumped me” sucks, and so does “Your fiancé proposed after 3 years and you’re going on a Hawaii honeymoon? That’s so nice for you sweetie, mine proposed after 2 years and we went on a tour around Europe for 3 months”


    “I don’t care about your divorce because I’ve been through 3 divorces” is obviously a s**tty attitude, and “I care about your feelings about this divorce even though I’m also divorced” is basic decency.

    What I look for (and try very hard to be) sounds like:

    “I’m happy that you are experiencing career success even though I am unhappy at my job”

    -I’m able to hear your joy without my eyes glazing over + my mind wandering to my apartment’s ant issue.

    “If I compare myself to you this is painful to hear, but really what that means is you’re experiencing wonderful things, which I want for you”

    “Even though I’m cold and hangry, I’m not going to bring anyone else’s mood down.”

    ScheherazadeSmiled , SevenStorm JUHASZIMRUS Report

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    Luna Crow
    Community Member
    2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Wait, “I don’t want to hear about your fiancé proposing to you when my boyfriend just dumped me” ... So, we're putting all of the "suck it up and be nice" on the person experiencing a hardship? Shouldn't the happy person who wants to share maybe also take some responsibility in sharing in appropriate avenues? I wouldn't insist on showing pictures of my new puppy to someone whose dog just died, for example

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    #26

    30 Not-That-Obvious Signs That Show That Someone Isn’t A Good Person, As Shared In This Online Group “Only God can judge me” tattooed anywhere on their body. I should’ve known…….

    Emergency_Brain902 , Matheus Ferrero Report

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    Lauren Caswell
    Community Member
    2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    I think "Only Dog can judge me" is better, and dogs are good judges of ppl

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    #27

    30 Not-That-Obvious Signs That Show That Someone Isn’t A Good Person, As Shared In This Online Group When you’re going out and they judge or make a rude comment about a random person passing by.

    kilmock , Keira Burton Report

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    Bmo
    Community Member
    2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    My husband and I will say these sorts of things to each other as a joke but wouldn't fathom actually saying it to these strangers. We're just being jerks to crack each other up.

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    #28

    30 Not-That-Obvious Signs That Show That Someone Isn’t A Good Person, As Shared In This Online Group someone who is incapable of reflecting. They are the centre of their own universe. They are unable to grasp the big picture or how they fit within it. Everyone has a place in the larger picture, which is their small view of the world.

    No_Maximumdse , Toms Baugis Report

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    Stephanie Did It
    Community Member
    2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    And everyone/everything else exists only to serve their purpose or to oppose them.

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    #29

    30 Not-That-Obvious Signs That Show That Someone Isn’t A Good Person, As Shared In This Online Group They try too hard to prove they’re a good person.

    hottaxidermy , GeorgeTan#1...Off permanently Report

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    Bmo
    Community Member
    2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    If they feel the need to post any sort of charity work on social media, immediate red flag. You can do charity work and it still counts even if no one knows about it.

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    #30

    30 Not-That-Obvious Signs That Show That Someone Isn’t A Good Person, As Shared In This Online Group Always blaming others for things that happen to them, and not putting the trolley back after they are done with it.

    Carlosthefrog , My Photo Journeys Report

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    TheAquarius1978
    Community Member
    2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Yea lol, funny thing, trolleys here are "paid" all the trolleys are chained toguether and you have to depósit a 1€ coin in order to release the chain, só 95%of people take their trolleys back, and if they don't lol, theres always kids looking for " Lost " trolleys in the parking lot.

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    #31

    30 Not-That-Obvious Signs That Show That Someone Isn’t A Good Person, As Shared In This Online Group When you think they are really great people, responsible/kind/good, but then after a while you look back on situations and realise you had been duped and they are incredibly manipulative.

    I think it's incredibly subtle with some people, where it's not immediately obvious they are terrible but then suddenly it hits you.

    Haidilao93 , Conall Report

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    #32

    30 Not-That-Obvious Signs That Show That Someone Isn’t A Good Person, As Shared In This Online Group People who have never done anything wrong. If you’ve known a person for any amount of time and you’ve never heard them say “I’m an a*****e, i f****d up..” they are probably a terrible person and will victimize you in ways you can’t imagine

    AggravatingMath717 , Cristian Ungureanu Report

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    #33

    You get a bad gut feeling when interacting with them.

    DeathSpiral321 Report

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    Stephanie Did It
    Community Member
    2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Pay attention to the way your pet reacts to them. Animals are seldom wrong about people.

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    #34

    Having zero accountability and saying anything they can to get out of their bad actions.
    “I’m not wrong, you’re misinformed” — avoid this person if they are clearly wrong. Just, run!

    Efficient_Ad6015 Report

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    Sammie 19
    Community Member
    2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    I remember hearing something about my narcissistic sociopath daughter. Her previous boyfriend was a work colleague and so she didn't want her new boyfriend to carry on working with her (that's where she met him) so made him quit and find a job elsewhere. Her boss heard what had happened and called her in for a meeting. Asked her why and of course she said that it was because he wasn't happy (he was and good at his job) and wanted to try out a summer job and apparently would be offered a full-time position after the summer. Nope none of that was true. She just didn't want to work with another boyfriend

    #35

    30 Not-That-Obvious Signs That Show That Someone Isn’t A Good Person, As Shared In This Online Group They're only nice when things are going their way.

    grandLadItalia90 , Sue Thompson Report

    #36

    30 Not-That-Obvious Signs That Show That Someone Isn’t A Good Person, As Shared In This Online Group They are nice to a few people and an a*****e to the rest. I've noticed that a lot of people find it easy to ignore someone being rude, mean or a general a*****e to others just as long as that person is nice to them. Personally I think it's a matter of time until they also are on the receiving end of the bad behaviour.

    TheMysticalCreature1 , Party Lin Report

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    StrangeOne
    Community Member
    2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    I've known people like this to me, where they're good with me but not other people. When you're young it makes you feel like your the special one, and are doing things right. So it's like you feel part of this elite club. But the moment you do anything the "friend" doesn't like, or when they meet someone fresh, that's when they start treating you as if you're the worst person in the world. They make you feel like you're in the wrong.

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    #37

    30 Not-That-Obvious Signs That Show That Someone Isn’t A Good Person, As Shared In This Online Group Yhe confusion. When the stories don't add up, they smirk at the wrong times and try to present themselves as a hero.

    Heros don't explain to you why they are heros. It's a subtle sign that they are actually not.

    BarMaximum8091 , JJ Jordan Report

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    Lauren Caswell
    Community Member
    2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    micro expressions that are off can give you that sense too. Your subconscious sees it, hence the 'gut feeling'

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    #38

    30 Not-That-Obvious Signs That Show That Someone Isn’t A Good Person, As Shared In This Online Group Borrowing money and forgetting to / claims he already paid it back. Borrowing tools / clothing and breaking or ruining them.
    By this time you should cut all ties.

    Irrelavent1 , Gunnar Wrobel Report

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    Bmo
    Community Member
    2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Easiest way to avoid this, don't let anyone borrow anything for any reason. Helps avoid these weird interactions and can prevent a friendship from potentially crumbling over something so small.

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    #39

    30 Not-That-Obvious Signs That Show That Someone Isn’t A Good Person, As Shared In This Online Group The theme music changes in tone.

    Itztrikky , Larry Ziffle Report