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Woman Gets Kicked out Of Friend Group 2 Months In For Not Understanding How Trades Work
Interview
Swapping services or goods with family and friends, such as homegrown produce, clothes, babysitting and hairstyling, is a great way to save money and foster community. But since bartering is a delicate art, it requires some ground rules to ensure that no one feels wronged in the exchange.
These girlfriends had it all figured out and their trades were going smoothly. Until a new member joined them and tried taking advantage of their generosity, which resulted in her getting kicked out of the friend circle.
Scroll down to find the full story and conversation with Shang Saavedra, a financial expert and CEO of Save My Cents, who kindly agreed to tell us more about exchanging skills and goods with others.
RELATED:
Exchanging skills and goods with family or friends is a great way to save money and build stronger bonds
Image credits: dmytro_sidelnikov / Freepik (not the actual photo)
However, this woman, who was new at bartering, did their friends dirty, for which she got kicked out of the friend group
Image credits: freepik / Freepik (not the actual photo)
Image credits: Alexander Grey / Unsplash (not the actual photo)
Image credits: freepik / Freepik (not the actual photo)
Image credits: throwRA12p
Image credits: user20857916 / Freepik (not the actual photo)
“I think it’s a very creative and highly underutilized way of gifting”
According to Investopedia, bartering is “the exchange of goods and services between two or more parties without the use of money.” A simple example of this would be a hairdresser giving a friend a haircut for a new set of nails (like in this story).
There’s really no limit to what can be traded. Beauty, digital, home maintenance, childcare, carpooling, tutoring services and things like books, food, meals and clothes—almost everything is on the table, as long as parties agree on the terms of exchange.
“The main benefit is that it doesn’t cost either of you upfront money, as you’re trading your time or your existing things for something else. I think it’s a very creative and highly underutilized way of gifting,” says Shang Saavedra, a financial expert and CEO of Save My Cents. It can also create a stronger bond between trading partners and even build a professional network when it comes to businesses.
Such a way of “selling and buying” is the oldest form of commerce that dates back to when money didn’t exist. Nevertheless, it still comes in handy today, especially when financial troubles strike. Just like what happened during the 2008 financial crisis and the COVID-19 pandemic, which caused economic uncertainty among people and businesses.
Image credits: freepik / Freepik (not the actual photo)
Bartering can only be successful if it’s equal and satisfies both parties
However, bartering isn’t just the exchange of skills and goods. It’s much more complicated than that. It involves quite a few ground rules and procedures that ensure the agreement is fair and no friendships, relationships, or reputations are scathed.
The first step towards trading is to figure out what services or goods you can offer others and put a price tag on them. Such a deal can only be successful if it’s equal and satisfies both parties, which can happen when skills or items bartered are realistically valued. “There has to be some valuation involved,” agrees Saavedra.
Then identify what you’re looking for in an exchange and try finding people to trade with. It can be anyone from your family, friends, colleagues or even people online. Websites like Craigslist.com, Swapace.com, and BarterQuest.com are full of individuals who would like to participate in a cashless swap.
“For example, most recently a friend offered to buy my book. She owns a skincare line. I offered her two of my books in exchange for skincare that would have cost me the same as my two books to purchase at retail. Putting a price tag on it does help make things more fair,” shares Saavedra.
In general, she would recommend avoiding bartering with newly formed friendships. However, if you do make such an agreement with them or people you don’t know well enough, it might be a good idea to put everything in writing. It should involve the details or goods that the barter involves, the date and what work needs to be done. And you’ve got yourself a valuable deal without spending a penny!
Some readers believe that the new girl is wrong in this situation
While others thought it was the fault of both women
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What do you think ?
Hodge Elmwood 1 week ago
What the hell is with the YTA comment saying Jane was out of product but OP "only" provided a service? Do they not understand that nail products cost money, too? Jane received products as well - whatever OP used on Jane's nails, polish, etc. And then figure in the cost of OP's time to do Jane's nails. If OP returns all of the clothing she got from Jane, there is no trade - Jane will have gotten her nails done for free and OP will have received nothing.
Janissary35680 1 week ago
But ESPECIALLY when bartering. People have different ideas about what constitutes "value".
Load More Replies...
sturmwesen 1 week ago
I would ask for the nails back and watch her face trying to figure it out
TribbleThinking 1 week ago (edited)
Jane is going to be that nightmare bride who suddenly bills her guests three weeks after her unexpectedly lavish wedding. Bullet dodged by no longer being in a friendship group with her and risking an invitation. Watch this space for screams from those friends defending her and end up with a wedding invitation when the time comes! 😃
Btsquestrian 1 week ago (edited)
For those who are wondering about the 160 GBP manicure, if she is doing custom acrylic/resin/UV gel/rhinestone sculptures on each nail, then the price is entirely reasonable, especially if she is using higher-end products to create the sculptures. If it helps, you can think of each fingernail as a tiny, curved canvas on which to create three-dimensional art. I'm a (beginner-level) nail art hobbyist on my own veryshort nails, and I currently have on UV gel polish (which requires a special lamp to cure it, and tipless sun blocking gloves or sun block), nail foil, and three colors of crystal rhinestones (which require special rhinestone glue). UV gel polish requires, at a minumum, a UV gel base coat, color coat, and top coat.
Rahul Pawa 1 week ago
It's unclear to me if the value of the nails was discussed at the time the trade was agreed to. I think that detail really changes my view of the situation. If the value of the nails was disclosed up front, and Jane agreed to it, then she messed up. If they agreed to the trade, OP did Jane's nails, and at the end was like, "btw I would normally charge £160 for that." Then that's shady and OP messed up. Honestly the idea of trading seems silly to me. Just pay your friends for the services they provide. I see it as supporting their business. Seems so much simpler to pay instead of trading. Heck, paying is a form of trade. The difference is you do two trades, and you have a way of keeping track of the value of the services provided so there's no ambiguity. Giving someone a service for free on the condition they provide a free service later is no different than lending money. I don't do that with friends.
Skylar Jaxx 5 days ago
At this very moment around the world any nails with acrylic are starting at $60 she paid $70 I could get plain (one polish color) short nails. For that price rhinestones designs anything else cost. Idk where they are but u can't get your nails done for less than $60 where I am. And that's the basic plain short set. She knows what the value is which is why she was willing to barter and not go to the nail salon to begin with, cause there they want cash only.
Load More Replies...
michele mbennett101044@yahoo.c 1 week ago
I'm guessing she's done this c**p before and has gotten away with it by gaslighting and bullying via social media. She's a cheat and scammer, don't give into her BS. As far as the rest of your group, tell them if they feel so bad for her they can send her money and leave you out of this c**p.
EM 1 week ago
Any response with YTA is a complete moron. OP traded a service that cost more than Jane traded, so if ANYTHING Jane should've paid OP back before OP did the same. If Jane was in "financial distress," why is it okay for her to get a freebie from her new 'friend' but demand she be paid for her half? Abso-fscking-lutely not.
Mark Childers 1 week ago
When I was much younger, I had a friend who would occasionally borrow money from me but could never pay me back. Instead, he would ask to change my oil. It worked fine for a short time. Then the oil changes got harder and harder to schedule with him until finally he borrowed $100 and never completed the oil change or paid me back. In general, someone will always take advantage. It's best not to get in arrangements like this with friends. It can quickly go downhill.
Melissa Harris 1 week ago (edited)
£160 Is expensive but not exorbitantly so for luxury manicure/beauty services. Just like taking your car to the mechanic most of the cost is the labour. It can take quite a bit of time (2+ hours) to have fancy bespoke nails done.
Load More Replies...
Schmebulock 6 days ago
As long as OP was clear with her about the cost of her nail work then Jane should f**k right off.
TTorrest Author 1 week ago
This is where people in service jobs constantly get screwed. Because others see their time as an abstract concept, not as the product that they're selling. I got shafted on a "trade" with a very close friend one time when I (artist) spent 2 days painting a mural at her home in exchange for an hour of her (interior designer) help picking out decor for my room. She kept piling stuff into the cart, and I kept asking, "Are you sure?" And she was like, "OMG yes, you have to have this!" We got to checkout and she never made a move to pay for anything, and when I questioned it, she scoffed, "I just spent all this TIME helping you. THAT'S my job. What do you think my time is worth?" I huffed back, "What do you think MINE is?" And she blew me off like, "This stuff costs a LOT more than your PAINT." Grrrr
Skylar Jaxx 5 days ago
Well for this one I have to ask did you ask for any form of payment? U didn't mention the trade was that she needs to pay a certain amount. I'm not really understanding this one. Was it discussed that u would paint the mural and she would buy your home decor items? I don't think she shafted you here I think it wasn't well thought out. A trade is in lieu of payment but if you expected her to go in her wallet it wasn't a trade what u wanted was to give her a discount on her mural in exchange for tips.
Load More Replies... Vira 1 week ago
I love doing trades with friends. It's not a tit-for-tat system, and we both mutually benefit. I have definitely met people who cannot do trades. They obsess over money numbers, and will try to keep tabs on every transaction. Unfortunately, they usually also like to nitpick money value too, so even paying what you ask (160 for nails for example) will lead to them devaluing the nails so they can get cheaper stuff. They aren't able to see friendship value, and will screw over everyone around them.
Thanos'Fingers 6 days ago
And funny how those are the "friends" that are constantly broke, right? Like if you've always been so petty and stingy you'd think they'd have saved up a bit by now.
Load More Replies...
Willie D'Kay 4 days ago
Why do people think time invested is less valuable than "goods"? We only have so much time in this life and when it's gone, it's gone. That is SO much more valuable than a t-shirt.
Thanos'Fingers 6 days ago
I'm charging my new phone. This is a power move.
Load More Replies...
Melissa Harris 1 week ago (edited)
It's either a favor between friends or it's a business transaction. The issue is the OP and her friends are blurring the lines. Money equalizes the difference between goods (clothing) and services (manicure) and this scenario exemplifies that. It only takes one bad actor to exploit a system to make the whole thing come crashing down. This group should stop trading services and simply offer a steep discount for friends. Tit for tat favors between friends are a bad idea as sooner or later people will have different ideas on what is an equal reimbursement.
Nikole 1 week ago
Disagree. They were doing fine with their process until this woman came along.
Load More Replies... Hodge Elmwood 1 week ago
What the hell is with the YTA comment saying Jane was out of product but OP "only" provided a service? Do they not understand that nail products cost money, too? Jane received products as well - whatever OP used on Jane's nails, polish, etc. And then figure in the cost of OP's time to do Jane's nails. If OP returns all of the clothing she got from Jane, there is no trade - Jane will have gotten her nails done for free and OP will have received nothing.
Janissary35680 1 week ago
But ESPECIALLY when bartering. People have different ideas about what constitutes "value".
Load More Replies... sturmwesen 1 week ago
I would ask for the nails back and watch her face trying to figure it out
TribbleThinking 1 week ago (edited)
Jane is going to be that nightmare bride who suddenly bills her guests three weeks after her unexpectedly lavish wedding. Bullet dodged by no longer being in a friendship group with her and risking an invitation. Watch this space for screams from those friends defending her and end up with a wedding invitation when the time comes! 😃
Btsquestrian 1 week ago (edited)
For those who are wondering about the 160 GBP manicure, if she is doing custom acrylic/resin/UV gel/rhinestone sculptures on each nail, then the price is entirely reasonable, especially if she is using higher-end products to create the sculptures. If it helps, you can think of each fingernail as a tiny, curved canvas on which to create three-dimensional art. I'm a (beginner-level) nail art hobbyist on my own veryshort nails, and I currently have on UV gel polish (which requires a special lamp to cure it, and tipless sun blocking gloves or sun block), nail foil, and three colors of crystal rhinestones (which require special rhinestone glue). UV gel polish requires, at a minumum, a UV gel base coat, color coat, and top coat.
Rahul Pawa 1 week ago
It's unclear to me if the value of the nails was discussed at the time the trade was agreed to. I think that detail really changes my view of the situation. If the value of the nails was disclosed up front, and Jane agreed to it, then she messed up. If they agreed to the trade, OP did Jane's nails, and at the end was like, "btw I would normally charge £160 for that." Then that's shady and OP messed up. Honestly the idea of trading seems silly to me. Just pay your friends for the services they provide. I see it as supporting their business. Seems so much simpler to pay instead of trading. Heck, paying is a form of trade. The difference is you do two trades, and you have a way of keeping track of the value of the services provided so there's no ambiguity. Giving someone a service for free on the condition they provide a free service later is no different than lending money. I don't do that with friends.
Skylar Jaxx 5 days ago
At this very moment around the world any nails with acrylic are starting at $60 she paid $70 I could get plain (one polish color) short nails. For that price rhinestones designs anything else cost. Idk where they are but u can't get your nails done for less than $60 where I am. And that's the basic plain short set. She knows what the value is which is why she was willing to barter and not go to the nail salon to begin with, cause there they want cash only.
Load More Replies... michele mbennett101044@yahoo.c 1 week ago
I'm guessing she's done this c**p before and has gotten away with it by gaslighting and bullying via social media. She's a cheat and scammer, don't give into her BS. As far as the rest of your group, tell them if they feel so bad for her they can send her money and leave you out of this c**p.
EM 1 week ago
Any response with YTA is a complete moron. OP traded a service that cost more than Jane traded, so if ANYTHING Jane should've paid OP back before OP did the same. If Jane was in "financial distress," why is it okay for her to get a freebie from her new 'friend' but demand she be paid for her half? Abso-fscking-lutely not.
Mark Childers 1 week ago
When I was much younger, I had a friend who would occasionally borrow money from me but could never pay me back. Instead, he would ask to change my oil. It worked fine for a short time. Then the oil changes got harder and harder to schedule with him until finally he borrowed $100 and never completed the oil change or paid me back. In general, someone will always take advantage. It's best not to get in arrangements like this with friends. It can quickly go downhill.
Melissa Harris 1 week ago (edited)
£160 Is expensive but not exorbitantly so for luxury manicure/beauty services. Just like taking your car to the mechanic most of the cost is the labour. It can take quite a bit of time (2+ hours) to have fancy bespoke nails done.
Load More Replies... Schmebulock 6 days ago
As long as OP was clear with her about the cost of her nail work then Jane should f**k right off.
TTorrest Author 1 week ago
This is where people in service jobs constantly get screwed. Because others see their time as an abstract concept, not as the product that they're selling. I got shafted on a "trade" with a very close friend one time when I (artist) spent 2 days painting a mural at her home in exchange for an hour of her (interior designer) help picking out decor for my room. She kept piling stuff into the cart, and I kept asking, "Are you sure?" And she was like, "OMG yes, you have to have this!" We got to checkout and she never made a move to pay for anything, and when I questioned it, she scoffed, "I just spent all this TIME helping you. THAT'S my job. What do you think my time is worth?" I huffed back, "What do you think MINE is?" And she blew me off like, "This stuff costs a LOT more than your PAINT." Grrrr
Skylar Jaxx 5 days ago
Well for this one I have to ask did you ask for any form of payment? U didn't mention the trade was that she needs to pay a certain amount. I'm not really understanding this one. Was it discussed that u would paint the mural and she would buy your home decor items? I don't think she shafted you here I think it wasn't well thought out. A trade is in lieu of payment but if you expected her to go in her wallet it wasn't a trade what u wanted was to give her a discount on her mural in exchange for tips.
Load More Replies... Vira 1 week ago
I love doing trades with friends. It's not a tit-for-tat system, and we both mutually benefit. I have definitely met people who cannot do trades. They obsess over money numbers, and will try to keep tabs on every transaction. Unfortunately, they usually also like to nitpick money value too, so even paying what you ask (160 for nails for example) will lead to them devaluing the nails so they can get cheaper stuff. They aren't able to see friendship value, and will screw over everyone around them.
Thanos'Fingers 6 days ago
And funny how those are the "friends" that are constantly broke, right? Like if you've always been so petty and stingy you'd think they'd have saved up a bit by now.
Load More Replies... Willie D'Kay 4 days ago
Why do people think time invested is less valuable than "goods"? We only have so much time in this life and when it's gone, it's gone. That is SO much more valuable than a t-shirt.
Thanos'Fingers 6 days ago
I'm charging my new phone. This is a power move.
Load More Replies... Melissa Harris 1 week ago (edited)
It's either a favor between friends or it's a business transaction. The issue is the OP and her friends are blurring the lines. Money equalizes the difference between goods (clothing) and services (manicure) and this scenario exemplifies that. It only takes one bad actor to exploit a system to make the whole thing come crashing down. This group should stop trading services and simply offer a steep discount for friends. Tit for tat favors between friends are a bad idea as sooner or later people will have different ideas on what is an equal reimbursement.
Nikole 1 week ago
Disagree. They were doing fine with their process until this woman came along.
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