And if you weren't 'sufficiently' wary and something happened it could be called your own fault for not being careful enough/choosing to hang out with a wrong guy (as if they have their intentions written on their forheads). Damn if you do, damn if you don't.

@Mewton's Third Paw Seriously? "The majority" is a stretch? I have a feeling you might need to change the crowds you hang out with if less than the majority of men you know are good guys!!

If someone said "most black people are good, but enough are bad to be wary of them", I'm betting you'd call that racist. Why can't you understand that saying the same thing about men is sexist?

A dominant majority could still be great guys but that does not disqualify the point. Here is one oversimplified thought exercise: A random group of people is walking a street south and other is walking north. In both groups there are 99 great to normal persons and one really creepy a-hole. There are still only 1% of creeps in the street and 99% of rest are basically ok but still, everyone have seen and met a creep on that day.

What kind of stupid are you???

My GOODNESS. This post is not about race. It's about the fact that women being afraid of men is valid.

You're missing the point. Women aren't treating all men as if they are bad, but there is such a high statistical risk of being assaulted or harassed that women are living in constant and persistent anxiety that they could be victimized. It doesn't stop them from living their lives and pursuing relationships with men (for those who want), but it means they're knowingly putting themselves at risk to do so. We men should feel horribly sad and rightfully upset that the women in our lives and around us are enduring this anxiety every damn day all the damn time. We should demand better from other men and teach ourselves and other guys and our sons to be better Humans.

But you ARE missing the point. Analogies are just used to illustrate, they're not to be taken 100% literally, and it's obviously also not a black and white thing, but all shades of gray in between. Yes, the cheesecakes may be poisoned, but the poison isn't lethal in small doses, and also you really like cheesecake. So you take a calculated risk and try bits and pieces, while being cautious and looking for any sign of feeling unwell. If you still feel fine after eating enough cheesecake, you start to trust this particular cheesecake more and begin to enjoy it without fear. But THE NEXT TIME you try to eat a cheesecake, you' re again very cautious and guarded, until the cheesecake is proven to be safe. By the same token, women don't stop dating men or interacting with them altogether, but they are cautious in every single interaction with a man, until he proves that he is not a threat.

Treating every man like he is going to harm you, being mentally or physically, doesn't mean a man can't prove you wrong. Harm against women has been so normalized that this is how women are forced to date now. Hollywood has turned the "emergency text/call" into a joke to get out of a bad date or a date you aren't interested in, when really it is a life line so you can get out of a situation that doesn't feel safe. Women now are taught to share their geo-location tracking (be it find my friend or via google location services) with a friend anytime they go out. Not just a date. ANY TIME. Young girls are taught how to defend themselves with house keys and a backpack. Women have learned to adapt in a world that has normalized violence against us, to the point that we are often victim blamed. This isn't new, many men are just finally hearing it.

What makes you think, Bobert, that we all want to find a boyfriend, husband, or male friend? For the record, btw, you watch their behavior to others, from safety; you ask about them, of people you trust; you go on a first date or outing with a sense of anxiety and with a lot of witnesses around, preferably in a group with at least two or more trusted friends. Just sayin'.

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Simon Kwan - I'm not missing the point, the point of this woman's message is that enough men are bad so treat them as if they are bad. That's exactly what she said... if I treat every cheesecake as if it was poison, I'd never eat cheesecake. She must never date then. I get there is an issue with society, but her logic is flawed.

I think all the women murdered by men might disagree men aren't deadly

I was raped by my (now ex) HUSBAND, whilst we were together. Do I trust men?

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This crowd does not understand individualism, I think. If they do, they don't understand how it applies to Liberalism and how what they are doing with group discrimination is antithetical to it.

Simon, it seems like a lot of people on here who say "you can never know if a man is a rapist" have the same mentality as the racists who say "you can never know if a black person is a criminal". I wish people would understand why stereotyping is bad, yes, even if it is against men.

lame article: How do you equte initiating a divorce with hurting men? It's literally ending a relationship one no longer wants to be in. Did I misunderstand you or are you implying that women should be in realtionships even though they don't want to be, lest they will negatively impact men?

CURB YOUR SOY INTAKE

@Simon Kwan Because women cannot be blamed, they are perfect creatures that only ever leave or cheat on you if you contributed to making them want to do so, right? Thanks for confirming what I suspected about you in the last sentence of my previous post. Your inherent misandry is showing. You're like those people with white guilt except with a penis instead. That post you made wondering if toxic femininity is a thing? You clearly don't have an opinion unless it's spoonfed to you by the majority. You have a lot to learn about women, hopefully you figure it out before passing your delusions onto your children. ------ @Anna Banana You seriously don't understand how a divorce can't be traumatic or not be mutually wanted? You don't think getting to see your children 50% of the time (best case scenario) doesn't hurt? Hopefully you aren't callous enough to just chalk that up to "fee-fees". I'm implying that if you make a forever vow to someone you should keep it, and honestly if you don't agree, it should be a warning sign to anyone who would consider marrying you, especially if it will have an adverse financial impact to them on top of their existing emotional pain. Marriage is clearly an outdated concept in modern society, why bother?

Sounds like you're projecting your own emotions if you feel others who disagree with you "know they resemble the problem", Simon. Maybe they're just tired of hearing what men need to do to make women happy every week. A lot of us recognize that we already teach our sons how to behave properly. Telling men to "do better" isn't going to actually accomplish anything no matter how firmly you clutch your pearls because rapists and physical abusers either react out of emotion or don't actually care what society thinks. But hey, if you insist on making yourself feel horrible about it I'm sure you could contribute money to some group that runs ads about how assault is bad to increase "awareness". If this analogy is so "powerful" and we shouldn't deny and dilute the message, how about all the negative ways women impact men through initiating 70% of divorces? That's an even higher number in college-educated women. How about those poisoned cheesecakes, Simon? Ready to tell women to be better? Somehow I doubt it. You'll probably just hand wave it away as men that didn't communicate or meet their partner's needs drove their spouses away.

Very well said!🥰

@lame article, emphasis on lame, 'clutch your pearls' is misogynistic and a tell that you don't recognize your inherent misogyny. As for who's projecting, it doesn't take a psychologist to figure out you feel you've been done wrong because your wife or partner ended their relationship with you. Sorry if that was painful but figure out what you contributed to that outcome rather than blaming her.

If there was an article talking about white people fear black people and a black person said "not all black people are like that", would you automatically think that he was trying to cover up bad behavior? If not, then why do you react differently when it is men rather than black people?

Qwerty, have you actually read articles about male suicide? Yes, there will always be at least one woman who says "suicides happen to women too".

I know. I'm not praising her. Neither criticising her. I'm just trying to remind everyone of the real issue.

that's absolutely true, but responding "men have problems too!" is the wrong way to empathize. (i don't know if you could call it empathizing anyway). it sounds like you're getting defensive, which is sort of proving Daria B's point. when someone has a problem, you don't tell them how your problems are worse! it's like saying "men get raped too" in response to women talking about their experiences with it. YES they do, YES it is ignored even more frequently than women being raped, and YES it is horrible for ANYONE to get raped, regardless of gender. but to say it in that situation implies you only bring it up to discount those women's experiences.

He Marcellus, just because we say" save the rainforrest" it doesn't mean the other forrests are not also having a hard time. Women are more vulnerable than men. Your reply is like the "But all lives matter"... reply to "Black lives matter".

Group discrimination based on inherent attributes is abhorrent. You are justifying discrimination and hatred based on the actions of some of a group. I highly suggest you rethink your philosophy on this.

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How many times have you been raped? How many times has someone followed you down the street making threats? Get over yourself little boy. You don't know what you're talking about.