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Nobody’s an island—we need other people not only to survive but also to thrive. On top of that, loneliness and isolation have thoroughly negative impacts on our health. So it makes sense that we want and need active social lives and the respect of our peers. That’s why many people copy what others do in order to conform with the crowd and create relationships with others.
However, just because everyone’s doing something doesn’t mean that it’s right for you or even the ethically right thing to do. Reddit user u/avaspark started up an interesting conversation when they asked everyone to share the things that society normalizes, but that they absolutely refuse to do. Scroll down to see what these internet users had to say.
We reached out to the author of the thread, redditor u/avaspark, and they were kind enough to share their thoughts on the topic. You'll find Bored Panda's interview with them below.
This post may include affiliate links.
#1
Influencers. I have a hard time articulating the depth of their collective uselesness.
According to the author of the thread, what made them ask the question on Reddit was how out of place they felt in society as a whole. "The thing that inspired me to create the thread was due to how much I feel left out from the society," they told Bored Panda.
The redditor explained their position that even though society has created a "way of living" that's commonly accepted by most people, there will always be some aspects of it that individuals refuse.
"So I began to think if there would be anybody who felt as much left out as I did," they said.
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#3
Going to work while sick. If I’m sick with something contagious I’m staying home period.
In the author's opinion, it's precisely because there are some individuals who don't conform to social norms that they're pressured to do so. The more they don't conform, the greater this pressure will probably be.
Meanwhile, Bored Panda was curious to get the OP's thoughts on marriage, something that they mentioned in their post they refuse to accept, even though it's normalized in society.
"From my perspective, some people frown on others who don't want to get married because of the differences in personal opinion and preferences. Some people might think marriage is beneficial, some might not," they said.
#4
Going into debt for a wedding. I do like marriage even if the benefits are next to nothing these days but the normalization of a $20-$30k wedding in America is ridiculous. We just went to the court house and had a small party afterwards. No need to spend all that cash just to start your life together in debt
#6
Hustle 26 hours a day, grind to be successful, etc.
I just wanna do my job I enjoy, come home for dinner, play with my dogs, listen to music and sleep.
YOU can be the billionaire. I'm good where I am brah.
"The numbers of opinion also play a part in this. The opinion with the majority of votes will influence what it is that the society defines as a norm/acceptable. Meanwhile, opinions with a minority of votes will be defined otherwise by society," u/avaspark said that it's this contradiction in opinions that will cause friction and judgment of people's choices.
"In addition, not every norm is acceptable and not everything acceptable is a norm. If anyone out there feel like they are missing out or being left out or not belong to the society, at least they know it's not a must," they said.
Social disconnection is as bad for your health as smoking 15 cigarettes per day, and many are now worried that there is an epidemic of loneliness in the United States. However, it’s not just people’s physical and mental health that suffers—this social isolation has economic impacts, too.
#7
Worshipping people, I don't really get the concept of looking up at actors, politicians religious figures or "influencers", just feels wrong, and 99.9% of the times, this "figures" end up being s**t
Snorky The Pig 1 year ago
What I don't get is why people like Andrew Tate are always in the trending. Like, he's a bad guy, let's not pay him attention, let's move on.
#8
Filming and photographing everything I do or experience and putting it online for attention from family and strangers.
For example, Forbes points out that disconnection costs businesses $154 billion per year due to productivity loss. So there are both humanitarian and utilitarian reasons to encourage people to connect with others and develop deep, meaningful relationships.
However, it’s important to find balance in your connections with others. If you simply copy everything that your social circle does—from values and attitudes to style, body language, and life choices—you might feel like you’re losing your sense of self.
#10
Religion/teaching my kids to be religious. I live in the Bible Belt so when I tell people I'm not religious nor plan to teach my children to be religious they always look at me like I told them I beat my kids with a metal bar.
Snorky The Pig 1 year ago
Meanwhile, they probably beat their own kids just the same. Indoctrination just leads to mental health problems later in life, and anyway, kids naturally develop an aversion to anything pushed upon them against their will. If they will be religious, let it happen naturally. It is a personal choice, and your kids should not have to think and live exactly like you do. Leave them be.
#11
Using punctuation and proper spelling on text messages or chat applications. I don't care if you don't do it, I will still write my text properly.
Edit: I meant to say, it is now normalized to NOT using punctuation and proper spelling.
Mr. Nurse Man 1 year ago
I’m petty enough to refuse to answer people if they don’t use reasonable grammar and punctuation. I can understand trying to use abbreviations like lol and stuff, but the amount of run-on sentences and misspellings (their, they’re, there) drives me mad.
#12
Sketched on eyebrows and bee sting lips... ugh.
Sea Squirrel 1 year ago
I only hear half of what women with airbrushed eyebrows say. To me those things are even more distracting than spinach between teeth.
Being an individual with your own particular set of values, opinions, dreams, and ambitions is nothing to sneer at. It’s pleasant to be part of a collective and we strive for this. But at the same time, every human being is more than just the community they belong to.
You should live with the courage to stand up for what you truly believe in, instead of fearing that you might become an outcast if you go against the grain. You shouldn’t find yourself in a position where you shut off your critical thinking just because it’s easier to follow everyone else’s expectations.
#13
Getting extremely long eyelashes or nails
Snorky The Pig 1 year ago (edited)
Not against personal taste, but what I wanna know is how my long-nailed sisters text, wipe their bums and pick their nose. 😂 Seems impossible. Ouch.
#14
Endless consumption
#15
cheating/infidelity while in a monogamous relationship. Also social media.
Snorky The Pig 1 year ago
I will never understand cheaters, unless the partner is abusive. How can you betray the one you love, your best friend? Totally alien concept to me.
As Psychology Today explains, conformity can be seen as negative when it’s done out of fear, or concern for a person’s social standing, or has dangerous consequences.
On the flip side, conformity is also what can help communities thrive and succeed because everyone’s on the same page in terms of rules and norms.
#16
Crypto
Sami-Jo Ross 1 year ago
Still thinking about the guy who asked if he could pay for his purchase at Home Depot in Bitcoin. Lord, I wish I'd had the wit at the time to say we don't accept Monopoly money.
#17
Hating on the person your partner is cheating on you with. I see so many girls hate "the other girl" when yk, your bf/husband should care more about your relationship/marriage than some random girl they decided to f**k. Make it make sense.
Snorky The Pig 1 year ago
Well, if the person knew that a married person was having an affair with them and they still let it happen, that is kind of s****y.
#18
Hook up culture
Snorky The Pig 1 year ago
To each their own, I guess, but personally I highly appreciate the security and closeness of monogamy.
#19
Amazon. Jeff does not need more money. I go straight to the company sites.
WindySwede 1 year ago
I don't buy from here mostly because of either crappy quality, crappy working conditions, lack of union, or just don't need to sponsor giant clocks in mountains nor huge space penis.
#20
Working over 40+ hours in a week without getting paid for it. F**k that….
Nancy Marine 1 year ago
That's called wage theft and the Department of Labor is waiting for your call so you can get back OT wages in a lump sum check.
#21
Wearing makeup to work, I used to because I felt like I had to. The transition got me comments that I look tired and/or sick, but now I throw on mascara only when I want to 😊 I'm not good at make up and am lazy so I'm glad that women aren't expected to as much anymore 👍
Ece Cenker 1 year ago (edited)
On one morning preparing for work, I remember thinking, "Oh, my under eyes are dark again. I look tired, I should use more concealer." And it hit me. I AM tired. I am working six days a week and I do not get enough sleep and I AM TIRED! Who am I hiding it from? My co-workers who are in the same condition? My boss who should know that we are not getting enough rest?! I started putting on less make up from then on, especially in the eye area. If I am tired and it shows, it shows! I don't have an obligation of pretending I am well and energetic and all chipper when I am not. Live with it.
#22
The death of privacy
Snorky The Pig 1 year ago
It depends. It is a lot safer if cameras are in public places like parking garages and used to catch criminals, rapists, et cetera. Obviously, there needs to be a balance.
#23
Call the drinks at Starbucks anything other than small, medium, or large.
#24
Monetize all my hobbies and produce "content" for social media.
Kim Kermes 1 year ago
I find a ot of sewing and craft Reels very helpful. We love to share, and the money probably just helps support hobbies.
#26
Normalizing obesity
AnonymousApple 1 year ago
People are enormously cruel to overweight people and it's just unnecessary. The number of people I've talked to who think bullying overweight people is "good for them" because it'll motivate them to lose weight... JFC. I totally understand why there's a body positivity movement. I don't think it's normalizing obesity; I think it's saying people deserve love and respect regardless of their weight.
#27
Replying all to work emails just to say congratulations to someone.
#28
Vaping - it’s so disgusting 🤮
Ellie Hope 1 year ago
Cigarettes are more disgusting, vaping helped me stop. Now I need to stop vaping.
#29
Social media. I'm on reddit, but I don't see that as social media, it's more an online forum.
#31
I'm tired of so many people trying to normalize teens dressing like grown women
#32
Going out in pyjamas.
Snorky The Pig 1 year ago (edited)
This shouldn't really bother people. I used to be like, "oh, now they dress like slobs and in the 50s I would have put on my pearls just to serve my family dinner" but in the end, I realized it's their choice and they are not hurting anyone by going out in pajamas. We should leave them be.
#34
Consumer debt. Don't care if it's electronics, vehicles, or anything else - if I don't have the money to buy it outright, I won't buy it.
Edit: to exclude a mortgage
Edit 2: the comments have been interesting to see the 2 different schools of thought on the matter.
1 hand is the people who take a similar approach and mention how much of a relief it is to not have debt and the freedom it awards.
On the other is people telling me how I'm missing out, foolish, "good luck getting a loan" (which is funny because that's the whole point is to *not* get one), or how I must be privileged because I don't have debt (even though I have a very modest income, I just choose to approach purchases differently and delay them so i can and pay myself the interest over several years to pay cash at the time of purchase vs getting that item now and paying someone else later).
It definitely takes a different mindset than society pushes and a lot of financial discipline to maintain that lifestyle, but to me it's worth it. I don't have to stress over small hiccups life throws at me because I'm not burdened by monthly payments.
WindySwede 1 year ago
Again, you do you. But no loan for car? I can get electronics and unessesary luxury items. But to have a car is often a means to get to work?
#35
Ghosting
WindySwede 1 year ago
Sometimes needed? Say a women experiences many red flags from "nice guy" and realised ge will not stop the nagging or worse. Block and go on with something healthy.
#36
Using AI
Snorky The Pig 1 year ago
For practical things, I get it. But my sisters and I have a rollicking good time putting in complicated prompts and getting the wildest pictures. AI can be a very fun toy.
#38
Food delivery services. Unless im too wasted to drive ill pick it up myself thanks
#39
Working 5x8h. Do I remotely earn enough? I really don’t. Would I be happier with more work + money? No way in hell!
Snorky The Pig 1 year ago
Definitely. I would rather be poorer and still be able to relax and enjoy life. What is the point of money when you can't even stop to appreciate what it buys for you?
#40
Not being forthcoming on the prenup part of Marriage.
If I ever get married I am going to be honest and straightforward with doing a prenup way early before any marriage proposals will be made.
Even if I am much more poorer than my SO.
What do you think ?
Nina 1 year ago
This whole article isn't about societal "norms". It's maybe about several problems that exist in society, but I've seen a lot of things that are far from the norm. Child pageants anyone?
Jennifer Freytes 1 year ago
The Christian hypocrite pedophiles won't allow that they need their child pageants the disgusting old Christian men to enjoy. And the dumb bitches allow their husbands to list after little girls. Stupid rednecks trash
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gremlin-king 1 year ago
Is this sarcasm by any chance, cause you do a good job at it if it is sarcasm :)
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Sergio Bicerra 1 year ago
I think praying may give spiritual easiness to some people BUT praying instead of doing something about your problems, nope.
Load More Replies... Nina 1 year ago
This whole article isn't about societal "norms". It's maybe about several problems that exist in society, but I've seen a lot of things that are far from the norm. Child pageants anyone?
Jennifer Freytes 1 year ago
The Christian hypocrite pedophiles won't allow that they need their child pageants the disgusting old Christian men to enjoy. And the dumb bitches allow their husbands to list after little girls. Stupid rednecks trash
Load More Replies... gremlin-king 1 year ago
Is this sarcasm by any chance, cause you do a good job at it if it is sarcasm :)
Load More Replies... Sergio Bicerra 1 year ago
I think praying may give spiritual easiness to some people BUT praying instead of doing something about your problems, nope.
Load More Replies...
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