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Nobody’s an island—we need other people not only to survive but also to thrive. On top of that, loneliness and isolation have thoroughly negative impacts on our health. So it makes sense that we want and need active social lives and the respect of our peers. That’s why many people copy what others do in order to conform with the crowd and create relationships with others.

However, just because everyone’s doing something doesn’t mean that it’s right for you or even the ethically right thing to do. Reddit user u/avaspark started up an interesting conversation when they asked everyone to share the things that society normalizes, but that they absolutely refuse to do. Scroll down to see what these internet users had to say. 

We reached out to the author of the thread, redditor u/avaspark, and they were kind enough to share their thoughts on the topic. You'll find Bored Panda's interview with them below.

#1

40 "Normal" Things That These People Absolutely Refuse To Do Influencers. I have a hard time articulating the depth of their collective uselesness.

Brilliant_Pun , Mizuno K Report

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Hokuloa
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Not really a “norm,” but I certainly agree with their general uselessness.

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According to the author of the thread, what made them ask the question on Reddit was how out of place they felt in society as a whole. "The thing that inspired me to create the thread was due to how much I feel left out from the society," they told Bored Panda.

The redditor explained their position that even though society has created a "way of living" that's commonly accepted by most people, there will always be some aspects of it that individuals refuse.

"So I began to think if there would be anybody who felt as much left out as I did," they said.

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    #3

    40 "Normal" Things That These People Absolutely Refuse To Do Going to work while sick. If I’m sick with something contagious I’m staying home period.

    Mountain-Asparagus25 , Marcus Aurelius Report

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    Hokuloa
    Community Member
    1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Fully paid sick days should be the norm. They should also be mandatory for contagious illnesses.

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    In the author's opinion, it's precisely because there are some individuals who don't conform to social norms that they're pressured to do so. The more they don't conform, the greater this pressure will probably be.

    Meanwhile, Bored Panda was curious to get the OP's thoughts on marriage, something that they mentioned in their post they refuse to accept, even though it's normalized in society.

    "From my perspective, some people frown on others who don't want to get married because of the differences in personal opinion and preferences. Some people might think marriage is beneficial, some might not," they said.

    #4

    40 "Normal" Things That These People Absolutely Refuse To Do Going into debt for a wedding. I do like marriage even if the benefits are next to nothing these days but the normalization of a $20-$30k wedding in America is ridiculous. We just went to the court house and had a small party afterwards. No need to spend all that cash just to start your life together in debt

    Adorable_Cuckquean , Jonathan Borba Report

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    Niva
    Community Member
    1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Our backyard potluck wedding with compostable plates/cutlery was beautiful and perfect, right down to our bare feet :) And no gifts please! We already had/have everything we want/need.

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    #5

    40 "Normal" Things That These People Absolutely Refuse To Do Plastering your life on social media

    salloumk , Afif Ramdhasuma Report

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    Ansi
    Community Member
    1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Especially your kids. I had a friend of a friend posting daily updates what her kids was wearing that day. Put them up against a wall for a photo and explaining what different brands the clothes were. It was weird.

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    #6

    40 "Normal" Things That These People Absolutely Refuse To Do Hustle 26 hours a day, grind to be successful, etc.

    I just wanna do my job I enjoy, come home for dinner, play with my dogs, listen to music and sleep.

    YOU can be the billionaire. I'm good where I am brah.

    adminofyourlifenow , Andrea Piacquadio Report

    "The numbers of opinion also play a part in this. The opinion with the majority of votes will influence what it is that the society defines as a norm/acceptable. Meanwhile, opinions with a minority of votes will be defined otherwise by society," u/avaspark said that it's this contradiction in opinions that will cause friction and judgment of people's choices.

    "In addition, not every norm is acceptable and not everything acceptable is a norm. If anyone out there feel like they are missing out or being left out or not belong to the society, at least they know it's not a must," they said.

    Social disconnection is as bad for your health as smoking 15 cigarettes per day, and many are now worried that there is an epidemic of loneliness in the United States. However, it’s not just people’s physical and mental health that suffers—this social isolation has economic impacts, too. 

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    #7

    40 "Normal" Things That These People Absolutely Refuse To Do Worshipping people, I don't really get the concept of looking up at actors, politicians religious figures or "influencers", just feels wrong, and 99.9% of the times, this "figures" end up being s**t

    chocolombia , Aline Viana Prado Report

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    Snorky The Pig
    Community Member
    1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    What I don't get is why people like Andrew Tate are always in the trending. Like, he's a bad guy, let's not pay him attention, let's move on.

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    #8

    40 "Normal" Things That These People Absolutely Refuse To Do Filming and photographing everything I do or experience and putting it online for attention from family and strangers.

    rebelbasestarfleet , cottonbro studio Report

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    WindySwede
    Community Member
    1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    "Today I hav a lovely unique breakfast, handcrafted in the Swiss alps...." /s

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    Rocco MZ
    Community Member
    1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Why do you care what other people do and who are you to judge their self-esteem because they post on social media? Lots of holier than thou people on this thread. And no, I don't post my entire life on social media, but I don't give AF if others do.

    EP
    Community Member
    1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Exactly. If you don’t give AF (which I don’t blame you bc I don’t give AF) then just don’t be on social. I’m not. And this is exactly why. I don’t want to see your pics. They are for you, really. Not for me. I don’t care. If you text me them I have to pretend to care. Maybe I actually truly like a pic you send me once in a blue moon. But I don’t need to see your meals your animals. Your kids. Yourself. Frequently without anything of importance in it. If you shaved half your head off, yes send it to me. If your dog just did a triple flip in the air, sure I wanna see it (once).

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    LeeAnne B
    Community Member
    1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Gak. No. Not even for family. I'll Whatsapp them if I have something to share.

    Ian Reynolds
    Community Member
    1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    My wife went through the photographing food phase, i had no problem with her doing it to her food, but she would try to photograph mine, I stopped this by instantly eating it once it hit the table.

    The Doom Song
    Community Member
    1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    To quote the song "STFU" by neck deep: "all the self-gratification's more like public masturbation swear to God you'd cut you face off for an ounce of validation"

    Petra Schaap
    Community Member
    1 year ago (edited) DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    nothing makes me more happy than to see a pretty and yummy meal picture pass by on my FB.Oh and i LOOOOVE sharing my travel adventures and pictures on FB. Its the same as showing your holiday pictures to friends and families before social media. And also I LOOOOOOVE seeing my friends and families pictures of their holiday. One will only post pictures of bars and beers and others will only post pictures of beaches and i love everything.

    EP
    Community Member
    1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Totally normal. And if you want to post it. That’s fine too. Your content is your content. No one else sound care about your content. But this also mean that you can’t care when no one else cares about your food. I take pics of my food too. Bc I like to. I keep it. On my Phone. It pretty much goes no where bc I’m not on social. If I made a dish someone told me to make, I may send it to them and say look I made it. Thank you. People can do Whatever they want. Take the pics they like To take. Share what they wanna share. But if you’re someone that doesn’t wanna look at it constantly then that’s when you don’t go On social media then.

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    EP
    Community Member
    1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Why are you looking? I hate it when people pick their nose. So I don’t watch people do it. If I happen upon it I instantly change my view. Stop looking at posts with food pics then. Stop friending people who like to share them. If you’re gonna be on social you cannot control the content.

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    真壁まつり
    Community Member
    1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    One of my classmates loves photography and tries to take photos any time we are out together On the street Or In the restaurant literally everywhere (I sometimes have to be that camera guy and I feel bad when what we are doing discomforts others)

    Gay Potato
    Community Member
    1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    its how i socialise when im autistic, anxious and cant do conversations in real life

    Tara L.
    Community Member
    1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Right? My friend does this, every moment of her day is online every single day. With daily selfies of her in the excat same pose (wtf?). I'm starting to think she's a very insecure person

    Knox Warner
    Community Member
    1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    It's more expedient than telling them or writing them about it. Who cares if they don't want to know in the first place?

    TMoxraaaar
    Community Member
    1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    DH and I realized the other day that 99% of our pictures were of our pets. When someone asked me to see a pic of him I pulled up his work website. At least I saved the pic to my photos (it's really good).

    Remi (He/Him)
    Community Member
    1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    I often take photos of the things I eat if they look good. And I'm not really even on social media.

    Cat Chat
    Community Member
    1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    They phrased that like they do it and hate it. If so, then STOP already.

    Mint Sauce
    Community Member
    1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    See life with your eyes and store the memories in your brain instead of seeing it through a mobile phone screen and storing it on a hard drive.

    Mark Fuller
    Community Member
    1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    It's sad. Says a lot about their self esteem and need for validation by others.

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    For example, Forbes points out that disconnection costs businesses $154 billion per year due to productivity loss. So there are both humanitarian and utilitarian reasons to encourage people to connect with others and develop deep, meaningful relationships.

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    However, it’s important to find balance in your connections with others. If you simply copy everything that your social circle does—from values and attitudes to style, body language, and life choices—you might feel like you’re losing your sense of self.

    #10

    40 "Normal" Things That These People Absolutely Refuse To Do Religion/teaching my kids to be religious. I live in the Bible Belt so when I tell people I'm not religious nor plan to teach my children to be religious they always look at me like I told them I beat my kids with a metal bar.

    Ok-Ad4375 , nappy Report

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    Snorky The Pig
    Community Member
    1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Meanwhile, they probably beat their own kids just the same. Indoctrination just leads to mental health problems later in life, and anyway, kids naturally develop an aversion to anything pushed upon them against their will. If they will be religious, let it happen naturally. It is a personal choice, and your kids should not have to think and live exactly like you do. Leave them be.

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    #11

    40 "Normal" Things That These People Absolutely Refuse To Do Using punctuation and proper spelling on text messages or chat applications. I don't care if you don't do it, I will still write my text properly.

    Edit: I meant to say, it is now normalized to NOT using punctuation and proper spelling.

    ReadyFyre1 , Tim Samuel Report

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    Mr. Nurse Man
    Community Member
    1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    I’m petty enough to refuse to answer people if they don’t use reasonable grammar and punctuation. I can understand trying to use abbreviations like lol and stuff, but the amount of run-on sentences and misspellings (their, they’re, there) drives me mad.

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    #12

    Sketched on eyebrows and bee sting lips... ugh.

    Interview-Guilty Report

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    Sea Squirrel
    Community Member
    1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    I only hear half of what women with airbrushed eyebrows say. To me those things are even more distracting than spinach between teeth.

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    Being an individual with your own particular set of values, opinions, dreams, and ambitions is nothing to sneer at. It’s pleasant to be part of a collective and we strive for this. But at the same time, every human being is more than just the community they belong to.

    You should live with the courage to stand up for what you truly believe in, instead of fearing that you might become an outcast if you go against the grain. You shouldn’t find yourself in a position where you shut off your critical thinking just because it’s easier to follow everyone else’s expectations.

    #13

    Getting extremely long eyelashes or nails

    black93sunshine Report

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    Snorky The Pig
    Community Member
    1 year ago (edited) DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Not against personal taste, but what I wanna know is how my long-nailed sisters text, wipe their bums and pick their nose. 😂 Seems impossible. Ouch.

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    #15

    40 "Normal" Things That These People Absolutely Refuse To Do cheating/infidelity while in a monogamous relationship. Also social media.

    NoBrightSide , https://www.pexels.com/photo/gold-bitcoin-844127/ Report

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    Snorky The Pig
    Community Member
    1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    I will never understand cheaters, unless the partner is abusive. How can you betray the one you love, your best friend? Totally alien concept to me.

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    As Psychology Today explains, conformity can be seen as negative when it’s done out of fear, or concern for a person’s social standing, or has dangerous consequences.

    On the flip side, conformity is also what can help communities thrive and succeed because everyone’s on the same page in terms of rules and norms.

    #16

    40 "Normal" Things That These People Absolutely Refuse To Do Crypto

    Middle-Wrangler2729 , Worldspectrum Report

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    Sami-Jo Ross
    Community Member
    1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Still thinking about the guy who asked if he could pay for his purchase at Home Depot in Bitcoin. Lord, I wish I'd had the wit at the time to say we don't accept Monopoly money.

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    #17

    40 "Normal" Things That These People Absolutely Refuse To Do Hating on the person your partner is cheating on you with. I see so many girls hate "the other girl" when yk, your bf/husband should care more about your relationship/marriage than some random girl they decided to f**k. Make it make sense.

    12kindsoftrouble , RDNE Stock project Report

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    Snorky The Pig
    Community Member
    1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Well, if the person knew that a married person was having an affair with them and they still let it happen, that is kind of s****y.

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    #18

    40 "Normal" Things That These People Absolutely Refuse To Do Hook up culture

    ChaoticCherryblossom , cottonbro studio Report

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    Snorky The Pig
    Community Member
    1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    To each their own, I guess, but personally I highly appreciate the security and closeness of monogamy.

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    #19

    40 "Normal" Things That These People Absolutely Refuse To Do Amazon. Jeff does not need more money. I go straight to the company sites.

    CtForrestEye , jean-louis Zimmermann Report

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    WindySwede
    Community Member
    1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    I don't buy from here mostly because of either crappy quality, crappy working conditions, lack of union, or just don't need to sponsor giant clocks in mountains nor huge space penis.

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    #20

    Working over 40+ hours in a week without getting paid for it. F**k that….

    No-Assist63 Report

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    Nancy Marine
    Community Member
    1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    That's called wage theft and the Department of Labor is waiting for your call so you can get back OT wages in a lump sum check.

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    #21

    Wearing makeup to work, I used to because I felt like I had to. The transition got me comments that I look tired and/or sick, but now I throw on mascara only when I want to 😊 I'm not good at make up and am lazy so I'm glad that women aren't expected to as much anymore 👍

    Odd_Information_6082 Report

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    Ece Cenker
    Community Member
    1 year ago (edited) DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    On one morning preparing for work, I remember thinking, "Oh, my under eyes are dark again. I look tired, I should use more concealer." And it hit me. I AM tired. I am working six days a week and I do not get enough sleep and I AM TIRED! Who am I hiding it from? My co-workers who are in the same condition? My boss who should know that we are not getting enough rest?! I started putting on less make up from then on, especially in the eye area. If I am tired and it shows, it shows! I don't have an obligation of pretending I am well and energetic and all chipper when I am not. Live with it.

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    #22

    40 "Normal" Things That These People Absolutely Refuse To Do The death of privacy

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    Snorky The Pig
    Community Member
    1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    It depends. It is a lot safer if cameras are in public places like parking garages and used to catch criminals, rapists, et cetera. Obviously, there needs to be a balance.

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    #23

    Call the drinks at Starbucks anything other than small, medium, or large.

    ishitmypamts Report

    #24

    40 "Normal" Things That These People Absolutely Refuse To Do Monetize all my hobbies and produce "content" for social media.

    Dr_Girlfriend_81 , Malte Helmhold Report

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    Kim Kermes
    Community Member
    1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    I find a ot of sewing and craft Reels very helpful. We love to share, and the money probably just helps support hobbies.

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    #25

    40 "Normal" Things That These People Absolutely Refuse To Do subscription services

    lsnik , Andrea Piacquadio Report

    #26

    Normalizing obesity

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    AnonymousApple
    Community Member
    1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    People are enormously cruel to overweight people and it's just unnecessary. The number of people I've talked to who think bullying overweight people is "good for them" because it'll motivate them to lose weight... JFC. I totally understand why there's a body positivity movement. I don't think it's normalizing obesity; I think it's saying people deserve love and respect regardless of their weight.

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    #27

    Replying all to work emails just to say congratulations to someone.

    ARowzFocuz Report

    #28

    Vaping - it’s so disgusting 🤮

    idiot-of-the-year Report

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    Ellie Hope
    Community Member
    1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Cigarettes are more disgusting, vaping helped me stop. Now I need to stop vaping.

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    #30

    40 "Normal" Things That These People Absolutely Refuse To Do Alcohol

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    October
    Community Member
    1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    This! Never understood why drugs are frowned upon, but it's okay to drink yourself into a stupor.

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    #31

    40 "Normal" Things That These People Absolutely Refuse To Do I'm tired of so many people trying to normalize teens dressing like grown women

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    Kim Kermes
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    1 year ago

    This comment has been deleted.

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    #32

    40 "Normal" Things That These People Absolutely Refuse To Do Going out in pyjamas.

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    Snorky The Pig
    Community Member
    1 year ago (edited) DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    This shouldn't really bother people. I used to be like, "oh, now they dress like slobs and in the 50s I would have put on my pearls just to serve my family dinner" but in the end, I realized it's their choice and they are not hurting anyone by going out in pajamas. We should leave them be.

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    #33

    Buying Jordans or Yeezys. Both are overpriced

    learn_4321 Report

    #34

    40 "Normal" Things That These People Absolutely Refuse To Do Consumer debt. Don't care if it's electronics, vehicles, or anything else - if I don't have the money to buy it outright, I won't buy it.

    Edit: to exclude a mortgage

    Edit 2: the comments have been interesting to see the 2 different schools of thought on the matter.

    1 hand is the people who take a similar approach and mention how much of a relief it is to not have debt and the freedom it awards.

    On the other is people telling me how I'm missing out, foolish, "good luck getting a loan" (which is funny because that's the whole point is to *not* get one), or how I must be privileged because I don't have debt (even though I have a very modest income, I just choose to approach purchases differently and delay them so i can and pay myself the interest over several years to pay cash at the time of purchase vs getting that item now and paying someone else later).

    It definitely takes a different mindset than society pushes and a lot of financial discipline to maintain that lifestyle, but to me it's worth it. I don't have to stress over small hiccups life throws at me because I'm not burdened by monthly payments.

    bacon205 , Pavel Danilyuk Report

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    WindySwede
    Community Member
    1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Again, you do you. But no loan for car? I can get electronics and unessesary luxury items. But to have a car is often a means to get to work?

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    #35

    40 "Normal" Things That These People Absolutely Refuse To Do Ghosting

    VirtualTaste1771 , Ketut Subiyanto Report

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    WindySwede
    Community Member
    1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Sometimes needed? Say a women experiences many red flags from "nice guy" and realised ge will not stop the nagging or worse. Block and go on with something healthy.

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    #36

    Using AI

    cat_mamaa Report

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    Snorky The Pig
    Community Member
    1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    For practical things, I get it. But my sisters and I have a rollicking good time putting in complicated prompts and getting the wildest pictures. AI can be a very fun toy.

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    #37

    40 "Normal" Things That These People Absolutely Refuse To Do One thing? 😂 Theres so many. But probably the biggest is having kids.

    Cool_Relative7359 , Yan Krukau Report

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    Corvus
    Community Member
    1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    The thing that shouldn't be normalized is the social/peer pressure to have kids at any cost.

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    #38

    40 "Normal" Things That These People Absolutely Refuse To Do Food delivery services. Unless im too wasted to drive ill pick it up myself thanks

    gilbert131313 , Kai Pilger Report

    #39

    40 "Normal" Things That These People Absolutely Refuse To Do Working 5x8h. Do I remotely earn enough? I really don’t. Would I be happier with more work + money? No way in hell!

    SchlagzeugNeukoelln , AlphaTradeZone Report

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    Snorky The Pig
    Community Member
    1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Definitely. I would rather be poorer and still be able to relax and enjoy life. What is the point of money when you can't even stop to appreciate what it buys for you?

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    #40

    40 "Normal" Things That These People Absolutely Refuse To Do Not being forthcoming on the prenup part of Marriage.

    If I ever get married I am going to be honest and straightforward with doing a prenup way early before any marriage proposals will be made.

    Even if I am much more poorer than my SO.

    PickleFantasies , Alena Darmel Report

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    Trish
    Community Member
    1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    I've always felt that when/if I fall in love, I will be with that person for the rest of my life. That said, a prenup goes against my vision of love and romance. Perhaps that's why I'm still single at 42. 🙃

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    #41

    Consumerism. I will on off be a binge consumerist sometimes, but for the most part I strongly prefer to be a minimalist! The idea of it really helps me find what I really enjoy in life, i find groups of “my people” easily, and I love being connected to my identity significantly more than random things.

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    MotherofGuineaPigs
    Community Member
    1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    I vicariously shop. Wish and Temu - I have 100 items in each cart that I delete once a week and start over.

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    #42

    Porn. Come on, think how bizarre the whole concept is.

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    WindySwede
    Community Member
    1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    There can be feminist pọrn, and there can be abusive pọrn. I'm guessing most is not with good conditions? But was little confused this was so low. And violence in movies is more accepted than consensual porn between well treated participants?

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    #43

    No tattoos for me, thanks

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    Rob
    Community Member
    1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    That's fine as a personal choice. I have 6, and no regrets about any of them. Some people look absolutely stunning with their designs. Each to their own.

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    #44

    Antisocial behavior.

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    Snorky The Pig
    Community Member
    1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Antisocial like the personality disorder, or like introverted? Because let introverts be introverts, people. There is nothing wrong with loving your quiet.

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