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30 Things That Nobody Bats An Eye About If It’s A Guy Doing It, But Loses Their Wits If It’s A Woman Doing It, As Listed By Folks Online
No matter how much we talk about equality between men and women, oftentimes stressing how much has already been achieved over decades of hard work, it seems that there are a lot of things that still need to be done, and extensive changes implemented. The problem of double standards between men and women is not that hard to notice, especially in some common everyday life occurrences. Having this in mind, Reddit user @u/killywayx decided to ask people “What is something that is considered ‘normal’ for a man to do, but if a woman does it then they will receive backlash?”.
The question that received 30.5k upvotes and 15k answers showed that no matter how modern our society is, it is still full of old and entrenched behaviors. Some of the examples included things that are related to looks: women not being able to take off their t-shirt while for men it’s quite a normal thing to do, or having to constantly take care of body hair so you won’t be considered messy and neglectful, although for men, it’s not a problem. Some examples also touched upon social issues such as women who don’t want to have kids receiving quite a lot of backlash, whereas it becomes understandable when men don’t want a family. When it comes to career, women who are strong leaders and value proper work ethics are considered cold and emotionless, while men who have the same traits are seen as respectable bosses.
What are some of the things that you have noticed to be considered normal for men but don’t apply to women? Don’t forget to leave your thoughts in the comments down below!
More Info: Reddit
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#1
Have an angry reaction. If it's a woman WAY too many people assume it's PMS or an overreaction.
Con O Cuinn 2 years ago
Getting shouted at constantly by your spouse. For women, it's abuse. But men are just expected to suck it up
RELATED:
#2
Not all of these will apply to everyone or every circumstance, but I think that most of these are fair.
1. Asking a guy out or asking a guy to marry you. It's seen as pushy or impatient and frowned upon.
2. Going hiking alone. People don't tend to raise their eyebrows at a man roughing it in the wilderness, but it's seen as reckless or dangerous if a girl does it.
3. Being assertive, standing up for yourself, and being confrontational. A lot of times it's seen as rude when it's seriously just somebody standing up for themselves.
4. Eating large portions of food. If a woman (even a skinny and fit one) is at an event she enjoys and fills a plate with junk food, it tends to raise a few eyebrows. It's considered unladylike. When a guy does it, it's viewed as normal and healthy appetite.
5. Dealing with grief. When a guy doesn't cry, it's stoic. When a woman doesn't cry, it's cold and unhealthy.
6. Caring little about appearance. If a guy goes a few days without shaving and has some stubble, it isn't frowned upon very much. If a girl goes without shaving her legs it's disgusting.
7. Masculime interests. A guy can like cars and video games and sports without question. But if a girl likes those things, it's "because she wants a guy" or "she's faking it" and she has to prove her worth and knowledge.
8. I know it's been said a lot, but sleeping around. It really is a very high double standard. It seems like the pressure is usually placed on women to be the defenders of sexuality. But sometimes we want to get down and dirty too. And I don't think anyone should be shamed for that -- male or female.
That said, I do think that men face a lot of backlash and hardships as well, especially for doing things that normal women do like being alone with children, having open emotions, caring about appearance a lot, etc. I do think women face backlash, even sometimes for behaving like a stereotypical woman (having strong emotions, wearing makeup, wanting to show some skin...) At the end of the day, a little bit of understanding goes a long way. :) Let's all be kind to everyone around us! :)
#4
Calling it "babysitting" when watching their own children
StrangeOne 2 years ago
I've always corrected people on this whenever they tried saying my kid's dad was "babysitting". Her Dad even called it "babysitting". Parenting would've been a lot easier to cope with if I didn't feel like a single parent in a 2 parent family.
#5
Walk around and be treated fairly in Iran.
kitten levels tokyo 2 years ago
Boy I hear my women friends complain about this one every day.
#6
Age, gain weight, fart, be sexually active, raise her voice, don't tolerate being interrupted,...
#7
Not wanting kids.
When a man is good with kids and/or wants kids some day, he is called "a catch" (you know, in combination with other good traits), meaning that the opposite (not being good with kids and/or not wanting kids some day) is common and normal, but not great.
A woman who does not want kids or is awkward with kids is seen with an unkind eye.
#8
Keep their last name after marriage.
Amy Taylor 2 years ago
My friend took his wife's name because he had a Lon, complicated last name that people were constantly butchering. His wife had an easy last name, lol
#9
Not being you child’s primary care giver. Normal for a dad. Failure for a mum.
#10
Shave your hair off.
Deborah Harris2 2 years ago
I've had a lot of friends shave their heads for 'Stand up to Cancer' , none had any comeback because of it xx
#11
driving an 18 wheeler.... they s**t when i get out.....it is just a truck.....i can drive a semi, too
TheAquarius1978 2 years ago
S**t lol, i remember a few decades a go, when a bus company here got its 2 first female bus drivers, those busses where full to capacity for 2 or 3 weeks, just by idiots that wanted to see a woman drive a bus.
#12
a) having sex
b) not having sex
c) smiling and laughing a lot
d) not smiling and laughing “enough”
e) not knowing how to cook
f) not doing house chores
g) having kids and having a career at the same time
#13
Being old
Stacey Rae 2 years ago
Please correct me if I'm wrong but as an aging women I feel older women are the least respected/ revered (?) / unaccepted (?)... Would appreciate others insights.
Jef Bateman 2 years ago
I think it is related to our youth-obsessed, appearance-obsessed culture. I think most of the disrespect comes from youngish people. I spend a lot of time with old people (no spring chicken myself), and they tend to be less judgy about how people look.
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Sarah Gilbert 2 years ago
I'm a 46 year old female and look forward to being old. I'm so much happier now with myself and care less about what others think about me. I have a physical disability but am active so have given few F#^(s about others opinion of me for many years.
Frances Pitchounetta 2 years ago
At work. Being a man in his forties: he has experience. Being a woman in her forties: she is close to retirement.
Samara Messer 2 years ago
I think women (men, too) can be attractive at any age but overall, you are seen as undesirable after 40, maybe even after 35. When I used to do online dating, a lot of the men my own age and older specified women no older than around 32.
Honu 2 years ago
Unfortunately, when women are not seen as sexually desirable, some people see them as having no value, and often simply stop seeing them at all.
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Helen Jane Witten 2 years ago
For me, being 61, it's like we have no relevant opinions anymore. I've given up trying to socialize so I'll just stick with my cat and dog. At least they put up with my ruminations :)
Kim Steffen 2 years ago
Pissed me off when I was in my early thirties and people starting calling me Sir.
Klara Lorinczi 2 years ago
No one calls me sir but I hate it when they call me madam.
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#15
Make reasonable complaints
#16
Not wanting marriage
#17
Being assertive. Assertive women seen as ‘dominating’ and ‘intimidating,’ but assertive men are seen as ‘having incredible leadership skill’ and ‘confident and self-assured’ (Know this by comparing my teacher’s commentary on my leadership skills versus my male friend who did the exactly the same)
ShaZam Beaubien 2 years ago
Assertive women are given the term pushy. It's not the same for guys.
#18
Be fat/chubby. Fat men= the funny friend. Fat woman= the ugly friend. Not fair tbh
TheAquarius1978 2 years ago (edited)
Really? I had a female friend that weighed 120kg and She was 1.60m tall, i weigh 120kg but i'm a male ( denser boné and muscle structures ) and i'm 1.85m tall, and She was BY FAR the sexyest women i ever talked to, personality counts a lot, and She had that in spades, its a shame She was married.
#19
Break up and leave the kids. Only get kids 4 days a month.
#20
Ambition of any sort which does not involve having kids.
#23
Take their shirt off.
TheAquarius1978 2 years ago
That is stupid, and i say this not because Im a man, but because if you go to most EU beaches a lot of women are and walk around topless and no One gives a c**p about it.
#24
Say "No".
Tabitha Frost 2 years ago (edited)
No is an answer, not an obstacle. So shut the hecc up and accept the word "No".
#25
Walk out on their wife and kid. I know many men that have left their partners and their children. Barely visit their kids, make very little effort. No one really judges them that harshly for it.
But could you imagine if a woman walked out on her husband and children? Absolute monster.
#26
Refusing to pick up your kid from school because "you're at work"
#27
Voicing an unpopular opinion or offering constructive criticism in (too many) professional settings.
#29
Have a child whilst also having a job.
Edit: I was actually referring to the stealth demotions and firings, denied promotions, etc, but as people have pointed out, yes there's mom shaming too
StrangeOne 2 years ago
I would be asked at my job. "Who looks after your daughter when you're at work?" Dunno. Ask the lions.
#30
Sit the Iron Throne
What do you think ?
Jack S 2 years ago
I don't see a problem with women doing any of these. Is this mainly America? Cos in the UK it seems we don't judge as much. Or maybe we do but we're too polite to actually say anything lol.
Carrie Laughs 2 years ago
Can't say it fits my experience in most instances, to be honest. The only one that does is being asked about having children. Though it was being asked, I didn't actually feel judged. Though that might be me not caring that much about what others think... hard to know really!
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Jiji The Cat 2 years ago
liking the same gender. being gay is more often frowned upon no matter male or female, but sometimes lesbian relationships get sexualised. why? we just love the same gender
Jessica butts 1 year ago
That's because men think women only exist for their pleasure.
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Stargazer66 1 year ago
Sleeping with casual hook ups. When a guy does it, he's a 'player' and admired. When a woman does it, she's a s**t.
Alexandra Prytkova 1 year ago (edited)
Living in Russia and if a man reacts angrily to something it is viewed very poorly. Specially in a working environment. Like, the only time I saw a guy yell in at work here, everyone reacted very judgmentaly about it and said he was acting childish and that it shows that he lacks respect in the company and is throwing tantrums to try to prove something but it is backfiring. Nobody finds it acceptable here. Had a PhD student yell at our group of students in class, cause he couldn't make them behave. Didn't have any more classes after that...
ItsJess 2 years ago
Date or marry a younger man. When men date or marry a younger woman, people don't seem bothered at all, but my husband is 13 years younger than I am and people seem to think it's weird (I had one "friend" tell me to my face that it was creepy even though we are and have always been consenting adults).
SilverSkyCloud 2 years ago
everytime i see men dating younger women they get called pedos even if both people were consenting adults when the relationship started
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Stacey Rae 2 years ago
You are either oblivious or really ignorant. And your arguments are very poor. Please educate yourself.
Load More Replies... Jack S 2 years ago
I don't see a problem with women doing any of these. Is this mainly America? Cos in the UK it seems we don't judge as much. Or maybe we do but we're too polite to actually say anything lol.
Carrie Laughs 2 years ago
Can't say it fits my experience in most instances, to be honest. The only one that does is being asked about having children. Though it was being asked, I didn't actually feel judged. Though that might be me not caring that much about what others think... hard to know really!
Load More Replies... Jiji The Cat 2 years ago
liking the same gender. being gay is more often frowned upon no matter male or female, but sometimes lesbian relationships get sexualised. why? we just love the same gender
Jessica butts 1 year ago
That's because men think women only exist for their pleasure.
Load More Replies... Stargazer66 1 year ago
Sleeping with casual hook ups. When a guy does it, he's a 'player' and admired. When a woman does it, she's a s**t.
Alexandra Prytkova 1 year ago (edited)
Living in Russia and if a man reacts angrily to something it is viewed very poorly. Specially in a working environment. Like, the only time I saw a guy yell in at work here, everyone reacted very judgmentaly about it and said he was acting childish and that it shows that he lacks respect in the company and is throwing tantrums to try to prove something but it is backfiring. Nobody finds it acceptable here. Had a PhD student yell at our group of students in class, cause he couldn't make them behave. Didn't have any more classes after that...
ItsJess 2 years ago
Date or marry a younger man. When men date or marry a younger woman, people don't seem bothered at all, but my husband is 13 years younger than I am and people seem to think it's weird (I had one "friend" tell me to my face that it was creepy even though we are and have always been consenting adults).
SilverSkyCloud 2 years ago
everytime i see men dating younger women they get called pedos even if both people were consenting adults when the relationship started
Load More Replies... Stacey Rae 2 years ago
You are either oblivious or really ignorant. And your arguments are very poor. Please educate yourself.
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