Ooh, I like this one!

This is great. We should publish this msg everywhere!

Eagles may soar majestically in the sky, but weasels don't get sucked into jet engines.

Someone gets it!

that is deep...

He's one of the types of guys who look mean but are soft talking and a big teddy bear. So if women have resting bi**h face is his resting ba**ard face??

Watch it be their mortal enemy

*taking notes*

And then fiona found Shrek instead and live happily ever after.

It’s not wrong tho

Ist der Ruf erst ruiniert,lebt es sich recht ungeniert. I would like to know if every language has a similar quote/proverb.

My husband: “If you get another pet, I’ll be mad at you.” Me: “You’re still mad about the last one, so really I have nothing to lose if I get another one.”

We got that one in Germany too: "Ist der Ruf erst ruiniert, lebt es sich ganz ungeniert." "Ungeniert" translates to "shameless" and it even rhymes with "ruiniert".

Haaahaha! Can verify.

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my instagram bio says this, then under it says certified poser

Very true. Stop trying to be the person other people expect you to be and make peace with disappointing people. Then decide who you want you to be.

As soon as my kids are grown...

Very Oscar Wilde-esque

As this is so. Come, let's all jump of our shell.

Absolutely !! 💯

Without a reputation you can´t get a down payment for a box of chocolates, these days.

I wanna have the reputation of being a b***h

Tried and tested 🙋🏾‍♀️

See those skeletons, they're mine.

This is my flipping motto paraphrased! People ask me why I'm so free and laid back. "A long series of public humiliations, bruh". Once you realize the world didn't stop turning, and people eventually forget, you stop caring as much. So for example, fall down gloriously then stand up and curtsy, poop yourself in public and start laughing, fall asleep on a couch midday and flash the whole house party in the process. You will thank yourself in the long run. **Note- do no such thing, ever. But you get the idea... These are growth experiences....

True that

This only works when I'm not at work. I like my job.

I never thought of it that way.

yeah... people think i'm really agressive so i just embrace it and shove people in the hall for my personal enjoyment. it's not mean, i just don't wanna talk to people :b

Icon

I thought it made you stronger😭😭😭😭

What great parents those doggies have.

So much for "Cool as a cucumber "

I don't know how to life neither. Sometimes, you just got to whack the board off the table and watch the pieces fly everywhere

We're hiring happy people so we can turn them into miserable ones! :)

I'd end up with local kids kicking a ball against it and the constant 'thud' of it would drive me mad.....yep I hate football/soccer

Not gonna lie, sometimes it takes a little bit of courage to just go ahead and cry

I wonder if it would work if I wore a sign like that while waiting for my other half to exit the store

I love Mr Rogers! But my favorite was Romper Room! Remember the song? “Romper stomper bomper boo! Tell me, tell me..is that you? Oh I see Mary and Billy …and Oh! I see you!” And I remember watching The Gentle Giant and most importantly Captain Kangaroo! And did anyone really have the picture pages to Bill Colby’s tv show in the 70’s called Picture Pages? We were poor so we didn’t send away for them. It was about 1977 that I watched that in kindergarten before school. Oh my gosh….I just outEd myself as old! Lol

Thanks for that

LOL. this would work, and for good reasons too. I cracked up. I love little tube shaped dogs.

Of the marathon I guess

There was a park bench in my area with a plaque saying "In loving memory of [name]. If you aren't holding a beer, please sit elsewhere." Then some jerk ripped it off the bench and broke it in several pieces. I found all but two of those pieces and, out of compassion for the family, I glued it back together and tracked down one of the poor guy's friends to offer the repaired plaque back. Plot twist: THE GUY WASN'T EVEN DEAD! He had just moved away! He and his friends were very pleased to see the plaque back in one piece, though, and told me I could keep it. It's on my kitchen wall to this very day.

My brother would like this t-shirt

"I feel like I've been cheated out of something but I don't know what it is." My favorite graffiti ran length of wall on E Street in San Bernardino. It was there for ~10 years. Local gangs didn't paint over it. City didn't remove it. Appears it resonated with everyone.

This shirt comes with many different options. I got my husband one that said "introverted but willing to discuss dinosaurs". SO MANY STRANGERS will stop and discuss dinosaurs with him.

AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAARGH!

*banjo music slowly fading away*

I think El Arroyo might be the main reason to visit texas. I've seen a lot of these.

tapping the glass makes the ice scream

Ha, that was the name of the angry ex girlfriend's salon in "Blues Brothers". Man Carrie Fisher was awesome in that movie.